#40 - Benny Roche on the Importance of Speaking Up, Being Inclusive & Creating Opportunities.

On this episode I shared a conscious conversation with my good mate, Benny Roche.

Benny is vice captain of the Pararoos and inclusion & mental health advocate.

We dive deep into Benny’s story of growing up with a disability and the the challenges he faced, the power in speaking up about your mental health, having more conversations about important things, being open and vulnerable, the importance of awareness, being inclusive and treating people how you want to be treated and so much more!

I’ve wanted to have Benny on this podcast for a very long time so I am super grateful we got time to sit down and record this. Benny is such a great human and there was so much wisdom and value in this episode that everyone can benefit from.

I really enjoyed this and I hope you do too! 

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Hey everyone, this is Benny Roach and you're listening to the conscious podcast.

Speaker 2: 0:17

The conscious part of my name is Carlos to reload and this is your place to cultivate wisdom, awareness, life insights to raise your B and become more conscious in your daily life.

Speaker 1: 0:36

How are you conscious fam? Welcome to episode 40 of the conscious podcast. Normally for every 10 episodes I do a solo round, but I've had so many amazing conversations and I really want to showcase them so I might leave that to episode 40 episode 50 and also something that is super exciting is that we have now got everything ready over the past couple of weeks and tonight. So if you're listening to this, as soon as it comes out, we have prelaunched issue, one of the conscious collective magazine. Now this is a magazine filled with all of the podcast guests, little snippets of all their interviews. Plus you've got conscious articles from experts on sleep, on sex, on relationships, on health, on mind, on body conscious products, retreats and so much more in there. It's a massive collaboration with amazing conscious leaders and it is now available on my website, so all the ws dot Carlos carillo.com c a r l o c r I double l o.com and Click on magazine and you can order preorder your copy there and man, it's something that we're so excited for. I'll have all the links and everything in the show notes so you can just scroll up, click on that and it also be in the show notes are all in the bio of the Instagram page so you can get direct access there and get your conscious collective magazine. On this episode I shared a conscious conversation with my good mate Benny Roach. Benny is vice captain of the power ruse and is an inclusion and mental health advocate. We dive deep into Benny's story of growing up with a disability and the challenges he faced. The power of speaking up about your mental health, having more conversations about important things, being open and vulnerable, the importance of awareness, being inclusive and treating people how you want to be treated and so much more. I've wanted to have Benny on this podcast for a long time and I'm super grateful we got the time to sit down and record this. Then he is such a great human and there was so much wisdom and value in this episode that everyone can benefit from. I really enjoyed this and I hope you do too. Vinny, how are you my man? I'm very good. How you doing? I'm excellent. What have you been up to today? A bit of work

Speaker 3: 3:00

from home today with a lunch time swim in the beach. So nine good feeling fresh. Yeah, it's not far to walk to the beach from here. You've got pretty good spot in Aston close. Is that a daily thing for you to try? It tries to be, we set a goal this year to try and get in the ocean every day. Yup. It's been difficult cause there's been mountains of blue bottles and a couple of sharks, awnings, glutes aren't always fun. But um, yeah, so far so good. Yeah, I've seen him along the coast when I've been coming up and pad at the moment. What was about to just run in and I seen some and I went, oh no, I'm not, not risking that. But there was people in there in the water or good purchase, go for it. And like, you know, good on them but not for me. Yeah. Fair enough. What are you most excited about in life right now? Um, I guess New Year, I think, uh, you know, I just started a new new full time job and um, you know, things with our business ticking along really well. So excited to, uh, sort of harness that and, and move forward. Awesome. So I know a bit about you because you're my, his teammate and so we've been in contact with quite a few years and um, I know a lot about your story because obviously I've watched the power roos documentary and followed you for ages. So for the people that don't know too much about you, can you give us a wrap up of your life from start to now on everything you're doing now? Yeah. Okay. Well. Um, yeah, for me, I was born with a mild cerebral palsy down my right hand side, so right sided Hemiplegia and I guess that Sorta set me on set my journey I guess from, from an early stage. Um, grew up in Victoria, got involved in soccer from a young age about five or six years old and, and sort of really fell in love with it quite quickly. Um, wasn't particularly great at it. Um, but enjoy the team aspect. And, and from there when I was probably 10 or 11, uh, went to the Sydney Paralympics and watched the cerebral palsy football and you know, instantly thought out, that's pretty cool. You know, elite sports is something I'm pretty keen on. Sort of progressing from there, making lots of contacts, trying to sort of find a way in and received a call from the head coach at the time, uh, and got invited to a camp when I was 12 years old and was instantly surrounded by these individuals that were, you know, had cerebral palsy like myself. But we're doing pretty incredible things in terms of work and social life and families and things like that. And um, yeah, sort of instantly became hooked and it started to really drive me to want to be a better footballer and probably a bit of person as well at the same time as that, you know, wasn't particularly being treated well in local sport, wasn't given a fair go, same schooling face, a lot of bullying, a lot of challenges, um, that you do with growing up with a disability and you quite isolating and things like that. And for those that don't really know cerebral palsy, it affects your motor skills and your balance and your movement. And um, you know, in high school was a lot of like sport and massive, I was never picked for school soccer team, but I was leaving every year to go overseas and represent my country and like, yeah, it's just like, oh no, no, you can sit in the corner. Um, yeah. But really lucky since then, I've traveled all over the world playing football and, um, for the national team, the national team, yes, I score a few goals and I'm lucky to be vice captain for the power is now. And I think a big driving force for me is the off field stuff are really love getting involved in creating opportunities for people with a disability to play sport, whatever sport it is, and, and help clubs and businesses and individuals realize the importance of inclusion and being open and having a conversation. So whether it's working as an ambassador and speaking or whether it's actually physically creating a sporting program, um, you know, I really luck to be involved in, in that side of things and advocating. Yeah. Um, now I live in northern New South Wales, beautiful northern rivers in Lennox head. Um, got two young kids and a beautiful wife and business and life is good. So yeah, I've done a few things along the way, but that's kind of the basics of it. Yeah. Awesome. There's been plenty in between and, you know, different careers and different challenges and, yeah. Um, but you know, football's always been a big part of that. Yeah. So in going back to being at school and stuff like that, did you go into uni after high school? No, actually. Um, I left school early. I struggled in school. I wasn't particularly great. Um, as in academically, academically. Yeah, I wasn't, um, it wasn't for me. I chose to leave school early and I actually went and studied our live production. So I went to the entertainment industry and, uh, I was working for a lot of bands doing sound lighting, Roland cables, basically a shit kicker, a lot of people which are really enjoyed luck. Actually loved those 15 hour days. Yeah, I'm just getting the work done. And then I actually got a job with a cousin Tino the illusionist and magician in Australia. Uh, worked for him for five years. So travel throughout Australia, went around Australia about five or six times two is in Hong Kong and I spent some time in Vegas with him. And, um, you know, I learned a lot in that time, you know, um, attention to detail and you know, what comes from working hard and, you know, we were entertaining thousands of people on nights and you know, if I did my job well then, you know, they show the show run smoothly and I really liked that and say that that's sort of where I went after school. Yep. And sort of gave football up for a couple of years to, to focus on that. I was touring probably nine months a year and um, and then sort of stepped away from that and got back into football and, yeah. Yeah. And that's when you started working as well in a different job and starting to I guess, set up life. Yeah, absolutely. Like it wasn't long after that I met, um, my wife and we, um, you know, you change a career. So I moved into retail, into like regional management and, um, you know, store management and I really enjoyed that. And uh, yeah, we saw the family quite young. We had our first boy Quinn at 23. Um, moved up here, helped, uh, who brother-in-law's started business up here and fell in love with the area and progressed from there. Like I've, I've dabbled in a bit of different things, a few different things. So, um, and now, yeah, working with the FFA as a national teams coordinator, so working in team management and logistics and yeah, and making sure the players have what they need and can focus on playing football, which I really like. It's, it's fast paced, it's high intensity and yeah, that's what I enjoy. And you still, apart from playing you're still involved, which is really cool. It's a side of football that I've now stepped out from not playing. It's like I'd get involved in that sort of stuff cause it's you still involved but you're taking care of the stuff that you know as a player would be nice to have and have organized. Yeah, absolutely. I just, I just spent a month in Malaysia with um, the under 16 national team, the Joeys as they attempted to qualify for under 17 World Cup, which they did. So, you know, that was, that was straight month. No days off for these young guys that will just football man. I had like machines of athletes, you know, we're just in this intense professional environment and they excelled. They were all brilliant, you know, um, the coaching staff was bringing and medical staff was brilliant, but that was such a cool environment to be a part of. And to see these young driven guys who know what they want, like to then qualify for, you know, World Cup, which was, you know, beyond what people expected and to, to play a small part in that was really special. And, and also talking about qualifying. So just recently what happened? Yes. I just, uh, the[inaudible] that just came back from Iran where we had our Asian championships and we needed to come top to, to go to the World Cup in Spain this year and we did that. So we, uh, yeah, it came second. A few good wins, some few goals, scored quite a few goals. Uh, I think I've got 10 in five games. Four Games. Yeah. Four Games. So happy. Um, a little bit of an injury now, but really happy to get through the tournament and then, yeah, the eyes are set on Spain. Just trying to recover and, and you know, get back on the field as quickly as I can. Yeah. Can't wait. It's such a good atmosphere when we go and watch as well. Um, I think we've been to, my family's been to a few of the tournament's with my brothers played in the team as well. Uh, Argentina was at last year, year before, uh, to you before[inaudible] 17 was unreal and now that one would have been nice to go to. But yeah, it's a different place. It was so hard. Even my brother getting in, it was only like last minute as well. So very well despite spend will be a nice spans a bit easier to get holiday inn in trip. Yeah. Right. All right. Look, I'm glad I can say that I've been to Iran and experienced, but where we were in particular a place called[inaudible], it was so difficult to get to, you know, one flight a day from Dubai and um, you couldn't book those flights prior to getting to Jabbar luck. It's just not for travel agents is like where you going? I said it's difficult. So the boys did really well. We took a really young squad, you know, we're playing a 16 year old in the middle of the park and um, yeah, we dominated the games that we won and I think we get very limited preparation. We get very little time together and as you know, we could, Iran is a professional football team and you know, we, we, we got the results we needed. Yeah. Which is so awesome and heaps to look forward to this year. Um, would you say your living your purpose? Absolutely. Yeah. Look, it's probably took me a long time to work out what my purpose was. And I think, um, I probably had to have a few things taken away from me to realize, you know, what else, you know what I think I can bring value to. So a big thing for us with the power is, is we lost all our government funding. And at that time I was unfit. Um, I hadn't been playing for a bit. Uh, I'd chosen to step away from it, cause a few sort of mental health issues and things like that. And then all of a sudden they are funding was taken. I was like, Nah, I was instantly fired up and got on this massive band wagon of trying to make it exist again. And ever since that, it's just become a driving force to not take it for it, take it for granted and use every opportunity to, to make sure, you know, opportunities exist and for everyone. Absolutely. Beyond, beyond just the national team. You know, that's, that's the sort of symbol for it, I think. But with that going successfully, we're creating pathways across, across Australia and we're hearing more and more stories of kids from regional places, all kids from around the world, you know, they're now playing the game. And that's, to me, that's such a simple way I look at it and that's why it's so important. That is awesome. What is success to you? Yeah, I think it's beyond just, you know, it's beyond what you're doing, your work and everything like that. Um, again, it's probably something that's taken me a while to realize, but you know, it's having happy kids and, um, making the most of each day and getting it to the end of each week, knowing that you've, um, you've given it everything and you know, when you do sit on the couch at the end of the day, you know, you're, you're happy with what you've put into it. And I think, um, yeah, I probably look at success differently each day. You have the little wins, little losses too. Yeah. What are you most proud of in life for? Quite a few things I'm proud of. I'm obviously quite a few sporting achievements and, um, won a few awards, uh, lucky inclusion awards and disability awards. I got nominated for Australian of the year, which was lucky. I just had a certificate rocket one day in the mail and being nominated for the last year. Congratulations. It was like, oh, that's nice. Yeah. It's a little things like that. Um, they mean a great deal because, you know, sometimes it's, it can be thankless work. He just, yeah, he do it for the sake of you personally know how important it is and it's just, you know, we just got to do it. Um, but again, family, um, yeah. Like I, I want to get to the end of my time and know that I've done everything and um, yeah, it's sometimes hard to admit that you're proud of yourself, but I think it's really important to do. Yeah. What's the worst thing that has ever happened to you and how has that the best thing that has ever happened to you? Yeah, there's probably quite a few. Yeah, lots of experiences growing up. Obviously facing bullying or being excluded in, in different ways, whether it be sport or school or social groups. Um, so there's probably a few aspects like that that play up a part and where I'm at now. But even the reminders you get later on. So playing a game of football locally in Melbourne a couple of years back and I was ridiculed for my disability again as a 28 year old at the time, whatever it was, I was like, ah, shit, this is still happening. Like this is still a problem. And so it was a reminder to keep, keep pushing, uh, to keep advocating and keep speaking on the importance of it. So there's little things along the way to I think, reiterate it for me. Yeah. So what was that worst? The worst? The worst? Um, and how was it the best? Yeah, look, I think it's probably a mix of all of them, but like there would be a particular situation of being bullied where it's just horrible, you and consistent and you know, something you didn't want to be involved in at the same time. You know, I've always spoken, well learn it, learn to spoke, speak openly about mental health and things like that. And recently spoke up about it after going through quite a quite a rough patch and I look back on it, there was any sort of six months ago or so now even less. I'm so glad that I did, you know? And it was so important that I did because look how much I've achieved in the six months since then is yeah, it's huge. So I'm glad I did that. So that was probably a key one too. Yeah. And it was, what made you speak up at that moment? I really just felt the urge to say something and I didn't know how I wanted to say or who I wanted to say it too. But you know, I'd been speaking to people, I wasn't, I wasn't though. I wasn't trying to get help or anything, but you know, it actually came from, I'd actually had a really, really rough patch and then I was actually feeling good that day and you know, I'd been thinking about it for long term. It was like, no, I just got to write something down and put it out there. And I probably wrote it 50 times and deleted it and started again. And then you just put it out there. And um, at first I panicked and I was like, what have I done? You know, people start to call you and message you and um, you know, comment or whatever it is. And that was really powerful. Some of the responses were I really stick with me on a daily basis and I often go back and read it as a reminder. So I'm really glad I did that in that sense because, um, you know, I think there's power in that, in, in speaking up as much as I didn't want to admit at the time. I think, um, yeah, I'm very glad I did. Yeah. And low even, even from everyone's got their own experiences in different volumes and do it for now I'm extremities. But I think even by doing that, it's, it's definitely, you don't doing it for attention. You're not doing it to show your vulnerability, but share those thoughts and things that are on your mind because it's important. If you don't say anything, no one notes. Absolutely. And I don't know where I'd be two months down the track. Like I just felt so Yuck, just genuinely felt yuck and I couldn't see the light at the end of it. And it was it, you know, I was trying to do all the right things, but I couldn't break through and I couldn't. I don't, you know, and I think speaking up was part of the breakthrough. Um, I read a study the other day about people with cerebral palsy actually having a, um, uh, much higher, uh, people with cerebral palsy. You have the 28% or something like tent, the high chance of having depression or anxiety or things like that. And you know, without team, we've always tried to use as a community, a support network, socially, physically, everything. So it's more than just football. So when you hear the stats like that, you go, oh, that's another reminder why it's so important that we, we speak up and do what we're doing. We speak up, we support, we include, which have more education on all abilities. Because I look, I know from from school it was, you know, if someone had a disability that was the one that we picked on it. Kids are being kids, but also there can be education that's put in place. Absolutely. And I'm still learning too. You know, I'm constantly surrounded by people with disabilities in a broad range and I don't always know how, what's the right way, but treat people how, you know, people are people, but you know, ask questions, have a conversation because within that something good will happen. Yeah. So where, when before you let your thoughts out, um, you shared that with everyone, was it then a matter of seeking help from there? Yeah, I will. I already sort of had the wheels in motion from, um, you know, in that sort of aspect. You know, speaking to some, actually it's quite funny. I did it. Um, you know, I had to get up and go to work the next day and you know, obviously, and I actually lost my job a week later. Um, and at the time I was just like, did I just lose my job? Because I spoke up about, um, my mental health and I really how she's like, what's going on? Like, and that was a big blow. And I was like, okay, maybe I've done the wrong thing here. And you can sort of second guess yourself was actually a blessing in disguise. It was, I needed out of the job. The job was a big factor for feeling unwell and um, you know, it was meant to be. Yeah. So, and now you've got an awesome job that I want to be doing that I've, you know, I've worked at, you know, I believe I've earned from years and years of hard work and um, you know, things are looking good. Yeah. So I think, yeah, the, all these things sort of, yeah. I was talking to my wife last night about how all these things have just fallen into place in the last six months. Um, and he's like, go, yeah, something's going on. Yeah. Yeah. It takes that first step though. That's like the hardest. So if I hadn't spoken up what, I'd still be in that job when I still be, you know, I don't know where I'd be. So, um, yeah, she, at the time it was like, oh no, what have I done that. Yeah. Yeah. It shows the power in taking that step. And maybe it is that your, um, you're dealing with something but you haven't told anyone about it or like you said, it was, you notice then that your job was causing a lot of pain and, and troubles in your life then losing that. Obviously anyone thinks if they'd lose their job, it's not a good thing. You're not happy about it. When you was out, it was out, it was paying our bills, it's putting our rent and you panic and um, but yeah, it had me to get in a good place and um, you know, because we'd been doing so much work prior to that and starting our own businesses and stuff, you know, allowed me a couple of weeks to focus on myself and then all sudden got the opportunity to go to Malaysia and that's something that I've always wanted to do. And then came back from Malaysia and then I had a cut a couple of weeks to prepare for Iran and the year just went like that and then it just got better and better. Yeah. And then played probably one of my best tournament's in, in a long time. And I think maybe it all stem from getting it out there and that momentum is kicking in. Absolutely. All the good things are happening. Hopefully just keep going. That's it. Let's keep riding it. What's the best advice you've ever been given? Yeah, I often get asked, you know what my favorite quote is or what I sort of live by? And it probably changes quite a bit and I probably take different pieces of advice at different times and um, probably often comes back to just work hard for what you want and what you believe in. The importance of speaking up. Like something doesn't sit right with you. There's a chance that, you know, it's probably not right, especially in, in with disability and some of the things you see in here and um, yeah, this great parent that, so yeah. If you want something work for, yeah. What advice would you give your 16 year old self? Um, don't drink so much. Coke. Get a better haircut. You went through a few word Wa and the role in the film too. I thought I'd gotten away with many photos. Um, yeah, probably just, yeah, don't, don't, don't think you're a victim or anything like that because you have to face and few things. Just um, yeah, get on with it. Um, if you want, again, probably if you want to work for it, you know, that's not going to just come to you. You know, don't, oftentimes I think people wait for a wake up call. If something drastic to happen. And you know, if you can get the ball rolling before that, that's even better. Yeah. Sometimes it does take that moment. Absolutely. And you don't always want to be waiting for a bad moment. Like yeah. And you know, I'll probably just need to give myself a big kick up the bum. I'm incredible opportunities from a young age, like in a very supportive family and I was already involved in the football and things like that and you know, I was just probably dealing with little things on the side that made me question myself or my confidence and I worried so much about what people thought of me. Yeah. Was that because of your disability? I think that was a big factor. Absolutely. And still is to say I worry about it. Good to learn not to give a rats because it doesn't matter. You know? So that's probably a big thing is explaining to myself. Then you get me that stuff. I worry about me and my wife and my kids and that's it. Exactly right. What's, what's your fuel in life? What keeps you going? Like, again, the funding and all that. But why is it that fire there? Cause there's a lot of people that do have disabilities that don't stand up. They don't advocate for more education and awareness. There's some that, um, you could say, don't get out there and get involved and get out there in the community. What, what's that fuel for you? Yeah, there's probably some that choose not to talk about it or just, you know, it's part of their life, but that's it for them. And there's probably others that have maybe a little bit cotton Walden, you know, maybe expect a few things to be headed to the mall to be pat on the back. And I'm not in it for a pat on the back row participation middle, you know what I mean? Like it's, um, yeah, I, you, to me, it's the people around me, the players around me, the individuals around me, when you hear their stories, that's a huge driving force. Um, you know, those, there's challenges and encounters I had from a young age and eve later life. And when funding's taken away or you know, something drastic happens, that's, that's why you keep doing it. And like for instance, when I met your brother, I just remember it was such a good reminder of the importance of, of what we were trying to do. Um, you know, he was this brilliant footballer from Regional Victoria that was traveling all this way to train. I was like, all right, so that's why this program needs to exist because without that, where's he going to go and where are these other guys going to go? So, you know, you use that and you work off that. So. Absolutely. And it's something that like, my brother's still applies in the, in the local league, all ability league, but there's a lot of kids that don't, don't have that opportunity. Exactly. Right. And that's a big focus for us now. He's creating development opportunities across the country and you know, whether you have cerebral palsy, you are your vision impaired or male, female, it doesn't matter. We just, you know, the more work we put into it, the more opportunities and more kids applying. And, um, yeah, that's something that's really important to me. Awesome. It needs to happen a lot more. Absolutely. It's good, but it's getting better as well. It's come a long way. Like, you know, for a long time I was the only Victorian in the national team probably for a good 12 years before any other Victorians came through. So, you know, I launched a program in Victoria as a pathway. Yeah. And it started with two or three kids for, I don't know how many years, you know, and now there's probably 30, 40 plus involved and you know, there's a state team that goes to nationals each year, but there's options. It's the community that's within that program now is phenomenal. The support networks that they have for each other, the friendships and for the parents as well. Like it's therapy, it's social, it's so much all in this sporting team. But it's hard to believe what it offered so many people. And I think that's, that's awesome. I can understand where that like camaraderie, lots of one part of football for me, especially moving away from home, you being alone. Um, having that camaraderie with your teammates is one of the best feelings in the world. And then on top of that, of these guys that are facing similar challenges and the opportunity to take it further if you want to, it's massive. Yes. It's not a bad gig. Traveling the world and playing the sport you love. Horrible. And how do you think people can become more fulfilled in life? Hmm, good question. Can they become more fulfilled? I think experience more. Um, have more conversations and open more doors and I think be willing to learn and hear other people's stories is very important. Absolutely. Yeah. What's a big problem you think it needs to be talked about more in society?

Speaker 4: 29:56

Whoa,

Speaker 3: 29:57

look, obviously for me, inclusion and accessibility is, is something close to me. Um, but I think, but I think it's broader than just the disability stuff. It's just we need to be more welcoming and more in standing. And again, by doing that within having more conversations and, and good things will come from that. I think. Yeah. People are people you got to treat people how you want to be treated. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And I think if someone doesn't come from, let's say a family that let's say someone has a disability, like say for instance, me and my brother, I grew up around it. So it was like, I know like we, we and people that went to school with him, they knew. Um, so it was, it, it was, they were getting the awareness from seeing it, but if someone hasn't seen, um, or experienced or come into play, don't teams with someone that has a disability, it's kind of like, I guess they don't know how to interact with what to do. Yeah. Siblings are sometimes the best luck. Um, majority of the siblings I've met who've got a brother or a sister with the disability, they're the best. They just, they can poke fun of it. They with their, with their brother or sister and they, they understand it. That's brilliant. And you know, if everyone was like that, yeah, it'd be be incredible place. It's never coming from a place of malice. It's always a joke like, hey, because you have that relationship and I'm not sharing that's saying everyone should do that. Yes. Build the relationships boundaries. But what I mean is you get it and you treat them how they wish to be traded and yeah, like you were saying, treat them like humans. We're all treated them. Put them in the group. Yeah. Treat everyone like humans as they are and we're all, we're all the same. Yeah, absolutely. We all learn, we all come in different sizes and shapes and hairstyles and whatever, but you know, we're all human at the core, so we need to, that's the best thing. And a big thing I used to say with when I spoke at clubs or schools is I was like, you'll actually get more. Like it was always about what they could do from the to say, look, what can we do for that person with a disability? It's like you actually, you get more out of this, like, yeah, you'll benefit from this. Just trust me. Like you gained something from this. Yeah. Yeah, definitely. If you lost everything today, what would you do?

Speaker 4: 32:21

Whoa.

Speaker 3: 32:22

So if you had lost the job again, lost all your businesses. Yeah. For some reason the family moved away or something. What have I done? What would you do? That's a really good question. Um, yeah, I, I'd like to think I'd just keep pushing. I now just, whatever the next step was, you know, whether it was about finding a job or whatever I had to do to rectify situations, I'd, I'd probably use it as an opportunity to reevaluate and get on with it. Yeah. Yeah. No nonsense. Just get it done. I'd like to, I'll probably cry for a little bit. Yes. Yeah, I probably would do. So if this is the last time you seen me and I asked you to teach me something tangible that I can use in my life every day to improve my life, what would you teach me? Something that's going to, um, I guess just improve my life and my daily life.

Speaker 4: 33:21

Mm.

Speaker 3: 33:23

Yeah. I think probably, you know, making sure you spend time on yourself each day. I think that's really important. Um, whether it's, you know, start of the day, end of the day, I think, you know, that that time to focus on what you're grateful for or, um, you know, what your goals are, whatever it may be. I think that's really important and probably something I need to remind myself to do is, you know, keep that time to myself in whatever capacity it may be, whether it's exercise or, yeah, know, I think that's really important. Even if you do have a busy schedule. Yeah, absolutely. Like that schedule's insane. Luckily we were seven days a week with kids and then football training and everything on top of that. And it's like, I wouldn't have it any way. I like that. I like, I like the fast pace, but you know, it's important to jump in the ocean and it's important to go out for dinner. It's important to play in some mornings and just, you know, that'd be afraid to switch off every now and then. Yeah. Yeah. And have some self care. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. How can I, and how can other people find their purpose?

Speaker 4: 34:27

Hmm.

Speaker 3: 34:31

Yeah. I think, I think it's been open to the fact that it's not going to come over at night and it's not, it's not just going to come in the mail. You open the letter go, okay, cool. That's my purpose. I think. I think he needs to be willing to, um, I think they've lost my, uh, my postcode if that's the yeah, exactly right. Like it's, you know, and you know, I've probably been quite lucky in the sense that, you know, I had discovered my sport and stuff for quite early, but I still have, I still had to search for my purpose outside of that and what drives me and it will come and, and know. I don't think there's a, the fact that he might have a purpose for a little bit and then it changes and that's okay too. You know? It doesn't always have to be the same thing forever. Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I think that ties back to what you said earlier, which was experienced things. Yeah, absolutely. Luck to travel. Honestly, travel. I've been lucky that I've been to some insane places and in a work capacity, in a sports capacity and just travel myself and lock it. You got to experience the world and they're, the reason we live up here is sir, uh, kids are outside and, you know, learning how to surf or learning how to work the ocean or whatever it may be. Like it's important for us that they're active and you know, getting a few bruises and stuff. So it's like, you know, probably same for you guys growing up. You know, it was probably a big thing for you guys. It's just making the most of where you would get at in the debt. Yeah, absolutely. Grow some grapes. Yeah. We weren't doing that, that just hassling him. And what's most meaningful to you in life right now? Family for sure. Wow. That's really important to me. And um, you know, I couldn't do any of what I do without my family, so I'm very, very lucky in my immediate family's very supportive and always has been. So, um, you know, they're a sounding board. They're my motivated. They were everything. Absolutely. Yeah. Question about that when growing up, what was the, the message from your parents when all this stuff was happening about the bullying? Um, even the, the, the mental problems that you were having, everything building up and stuff like that. What was, what was their support like? Yeah, they were always there for me. Um, my mum, uh, cause you've got other siblings that don't have a disability. Yeah, correct. Um, so you know, my mom is the most patient and caring, loving person in the world. And um, she knows when I'm not feeling well, like I always get a call from it. She's like, how are you? I was like, why? Like she knows, you know, um, they're always just there for me and, and you know, did whatever they could to help. And a big thing for them with having the disability was the unknown as well. So when they found out when I was two or whatever, it was even a little bit younger, it's just, I think my mum wrote it in the baby book. It's like their bins got this disability, you know, everything will be okay. And he kind of look at that go, were you convincing yourself everything's going to be okay? Would they, you know, they didn't really like it. Everything will be fine. And they taught me to embrace my disability and talk about it and I'm very, very lucky in that. Um, but I, yeah, like it probably wasn't until I had kids, I really understood how much they were fighting for me and supporting me and giving me opportunities and you know, the fact that I jumped on a plane and live in years old and flying to state and at 13 I spent like a month in Argentina with the team and I've probably forgot to call him for the first week. And it's like, that's a big, it's a big thing to do is send you your boy overseas for a month. And um, yeah, I think, yeah, very lucky. Yeah. And I think even those experiences helped you mature quickly as well because of the teammates and stuff like that. He had the life experiences. I had to grow up quick. And then even with my, with working in entertainment before I got my license two weeks before I started, no, I'd started the job at 17, then turned 18. I had to get my license so I could then drive trucks are in Australia at luck. I had to grow up really quick, you know, I had to, you know, still an idiot but that up and get the job done. So I think, um, and a lot of the I was able to do that is because I'd traveled with football and I was with grown men that was, you know, had families and taught me how to be a person, good person and live in society and not, I guess shy away from being a human. And actually it luck again, confidence thing is, it's very easy to not want to go out and a bit like a hype. I don't enjoy going out to clubs or, um, I'll now a lot of crowded places cause I'll just, I'll struggle walking through crowds and no matter where I go, if their security, I struggle to get him cause I look at my arm and they think I'm drunk or I've heard this story. Yeah. It's horrible. I, I'd, and I know that they're looking at me, so I get nervous. Yeah. So I just avoid it, you know what I mean? But that's, but it's not my domain. Even if you say, yeah, like I've got several palsy, summer, summer, understanding a lot. Um, they think you're basing, but, um, you know, so I know that there's a lot of young guys and girls with disabilities that struggle with, with that social life, the dating life. Um, and, and I think that's where there's the direction we sorta, you know, there's been a big focus on workplaces and, um, sports getting more inclusive and things like that. But I think, you know, now needs to be a real focus on mental health, social side of things. Um, the relationship side of things. And because I know there's people I've seen grown up in there at the age now where you know, they want a date and they want to, you know, pursue different things and they don't feel they have the tools or they don't feel they're being respected properly or looked at, you know, why that's inclusive and then I have a fair chance at getting the job or cause I can guarantee though there'll be the funniest person you've met or the most loving and caring person he met, they'll do anything for you. But you know, they probably not often given the opportunity to get to that point. Um, it's not like this isn't everyone. This is just certain sixth sense of people I'm dealing with. And um, you know, I think it's important that more and more conversations head in that to one person, it reminds me of a good, good, very good ways. Josh, he's behind the Victorian team. How funny he was about it and just accepting of himself, but right. Everyone else laugh around him, especially the guys that were in the team. Yeah, absolutely. And, you know, I love that he's got that, that team to be a part of where it's just, and we, you know, we just loved having, having people like that involved in the program. And the same with I could Mattie Holland and yeah. Um, who's just constantly sending memes to everyone and I think he secretly dealing them on the side because he's just constantly, it's hilarious, but you know, like what he's now, you know, captain of this Victorian program is, cause he's there for the boys and he's created something that they can all be a part of. And you know, I think he'll be a successful politician one day and you know, he's just so switched on and he's just, he's brilliant. And I'd like to think that the, the, the, the program has given him a lot of confidence and allowed him to pursue things a lot alongside his education and things like that. I honestly think definitely because of that having that inclusion and everyone accepts everyone at these in these teams, whether it's at the Victorian level or at the Australian level. And I know even for my little brother Kasi, it's somewhere where he's like, I want to go to Melbourne and see my friends. Yeah. And it's like, well yeah, like I said were talking about before, like that comradery of having people that accept you and man, this doesn't just happen with people with disabilities, this, this is ever everyone in, in schools, in workplaces in all of that. And I think that's, that's a really good message to be putting out there. And something that does need to be a focus in, in the world is, is that like you said, the inclusion but also the mental health because again, we're all different but we're all the same. So it's, yeah, there's so many experiences that I've had where it's, and again, I grew up with a brother that had a disability, so it was always as soon as he was born at ours, sorry, when he grew up, cause it wasn't really seen when he was born yet. It was more when he was walking and stuff like that. And even now people, even my friends that haven't met, everyone knows. And you have, of course put it on social media and all that, which is good awareness. But people that meet him in now, they won't say anything until they see him run. Yeah. Or something like that. But because he plays able body and like our, our local league is really accepting of it and they know, um, but everyone's still goes in hard at training. Yeah. And that's what he wants and to be included and not left out because of that. Um, and I know he has experienced situations like yourself where there's been bullying and there's been left off the left off the field because of, because of his ability. But then you know, when he does get led on and he scored the winning goal for the reserve team last year and it's like, yeah. And that's, that's, yeah. There's another opportunity and, and it's such a fine line. Like, oh, I wasn't given a fair go art. It's not cause your disability. It's cause you know, we chose to play that person. Okay. Yeah. That's cool. But it's been that week in and out. It's been that way junior. Yeah. It's really frustrating. And you swap clubs, you try different things, you know, you, you're not particularly falling behind anyone, but you know, it's just give us a guy like, you know what I mean? Um, you know, it's just, yeah. I think that's just the way it's going to be. Yeah. And I think even with, before I went on that rant, this is where I was coming back to, I just remembered it's, I grew up with it. So even when I came into contact with anyone else, whether it was with a physical disability or mental disability, it was always like, okay, yeah, you didn't know to say hello and there's no reason to act any different. It's just don't be a dick. Yeah. Like be a nice person. Yeah, exactly. Treat people the way you want to be treated and you know, you don't need to talk down to anyone you don't know. And it's, it happens. Yeah. It really does. We even with the mildest of disability, soon as you mention it, people's change and like people, seven people like you're an inspiration and it's like, you've just met me. I'm just told you heard this. What have I done that's inspirational, someone's inspiration when they go and work hard and cheap things because they've worked, they've worked for that inspirational disability or not when someone has worked for what they wanted. Yeah. Push through all kinds of things. That's what I like. It's not because they've got out of bed, you know what I mean? Yeah. I think that's important too. Yeah, I agree. What impact do you want to have on people, the community and the world? Hmm. Um, I do want to have an impact. I want to have, you know, in my head a, I want to have a name for myself again, get to the end of my time and go and get really proud of what I've achieved and what's being created. And if what I love now is, you know, I've been doing this quite a long time now. It's at the point where some of the people I've sort of got started supporting at a young age or getting into their careers and things like that, and they're just full of confidence and they just, and they're motivating people now. And you know, the mentoring young players come through as like my, you know, my job's done. These Gaza. Yeah. Like at nationals this year, obviously I was living away from the team so I met up with him when we got there and you know, I've always been the captain of the team and people have always come to me and was like, they didn't need me this shit. You know what I mean? Like maybe on the field some aspect played a good role. Yeah. But they didn't need me as like, you know, they had that covered. You know what I mean? There were supporting one another that was just, yeah, that was cool. That was very cool to see. You did set the example. Yeah. I'd like to do, not in every case, but you know, some of it I'd like to think that have helped with. Yeah. Awesome. What does it mean to be conscious? Um, for me it's, it's, it's been willing to learn and adapt and, and, uh, experienced different things and be open to new ideas and um, hear everyone's story. I think that's really important and something that, again, it does come back to what you were saying before is each sharing that both the mental health side of things but then also the inclusion of all that as well. Absolutely. Yeah. I think big things will come from that. Absolutely. So becoming conscious and you then are more accepting. Yeah. Especially, you know, by looking after yourself and um, yeah, it's good. And having a good understanding of yourself is going to lead it to having a better understanding of other people and yeah. And what experiences they may have had and that very malleable. Yeah. Yeah. And that's why I love this podcast and getting into these because it's by listening to it and I listened to so many part, like I'm in podcasts, just fanatic. I've got so many I listened to, especially on this trip now at the east coast. It's just learning so much, but it's, that's how you learn more. And, and by people I'm listening to this, it's the awareness that they're going to get to become more conscious and then be able to check in with themselves and go, am I, am I okay? Am I doing good for me? But then I'm also doing good for others and accepting of others. Absolutely. And it's, it's, um, extremely valuable and I think, you know, eggs, except by listening to something makes you gag. Do I'm even going to go and look that up by taking that time to look that up and research something or, you know, tell someone else about it. That's, that's getting momentum, you know, things are happening there. Yeah. Anything else you'd like to share with, with Aaron? Anything you want to leave with the listeners know, just, um, support the pairers check them out so we're, where can people see more of your staff and the powers and all of that? I'm on Instagram, Benny Benny. Dot. Roach. A heresy. Hg and a Twitter and all the others, uh, pairers again, at powers, uh, follow follows as we hit to Spain in July. And, um, you know, we have a film that's out now which will soon be available. There's this few screenings happening around Australia. So you know, any support is worth its weight to us. Absolutely. Definitely. And I just want to wrap up on saying that you know, I want to acknowledge you for the person that you are um, four log way but inspiring a lot of people but also mentoring because you've played a role, especially with my family, with my little brother and it's, it's really admirable to have someone like yourself because even for myself, being an older brother, I can be there, but you, you've been through the symbol, you've got the same disability. So it's having that life for, for him, not only him but so many other young kids. And I've seen it from when I've come to trainings when I've come to tournaments and all the work that you do is incredible. That's why I wanted to get you on here because it is something that I know we can keep spreading that awareness and that of everything of the, of the mental health, of the inclusion of everything out there. And for just being such a nice person. Even to me, you've always, he always had a time to chat and everything, so it's taken a while to get to the podcast, but up there, yeah, it was about a year. He was, it was this time last year, probably one of the first ones. I was like, I want to get Benioff. We made a logistical, yeah, always in a million different places. Even when you got up here I was like, I'm around. Oh wait, now I've got to fly to Sydney. Oh good. Well thank you so much for your time and for being so open and vulnerable and can't wait for the next chat and to see you in Spain. Sounds good. Awesome. All right.

Speaker 5: 51:16

Okay guys, thank you so much for taking the time to listen in on our conversation. Hopefully he got some insights and values to raise your awareness. If you like the podcast, please like share on social media and leave a review on whatever platform you're listening on. I would really appreciate it. You can also keep up to date and on our Facebook and Instagram pages, both handles are at the conscious podcasts and also my personal account, which is at Carlow underscore Cirillo. Until next time, take care and be nice.