#41 - Osher Günsberg on Self Care, Gratitude & Having an Optimistic Perspective in Life.

On this episode I shared a conscious conversation with legend of a guy, Osher Günsberg.


Osher is a well known Australian TV personality, podcast host and best selling author. 

We dived deep into topics including challenging moments in Osher’s life, bouncing back from a terrible situations, the benefits having an optimistic perspective in life, how we have the choice to feel fulfilled, seeing how your choices effect others, the importance of practising gratitude, showing up daily, goal setting, doing more things you enjoy, creating a life you love and so much more!

I am so grateful I got to share this conversation with Osher. Such a down to earth and authentic guy!

There was only so much we could cover in an hour, but man did Osher share some powerful value and wisdom thoughout this episode! 

If you do want to hear more about Osher’s life, and dive deeper into his life story and mental health challenges I highly recommend getting a copy of his recently released book “Back after the break”.
 

I really enjoyed this and I hope you do too! 

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Follow Osher on:

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/osher_gunsberg
Podcast: The Osher Günsberg Podcast

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:19

This is your place to cultivate wisdom insights to raise your baby to become more conscious in your daily life.

Speaker 2: 0:36

What's up conscious fam. Welcome to episode 41 of the conscious podcast. On this episode I shared a conscious conversation with legend of a Guy Asha Ginsburg. Asha is a well known Australian TV personality podcast host and bestselling author. We dive deep into topics including challenging moments in Atias life, bouncing back from terrible situations, the benefits of having an optimistic perspective in life, how we have the choice to feel fulfilled, seeing how your choices affect others, the importance of practicing gratitude, goal setting, doing more things you enjoy, creating a life you love and so much more. I am so grateful I got to share this conversation with Asha, such a down to earth and authentic guy. There was only so much we could cover in this hour, but man, did Asha share some powerful value and wisdom throughout this whole episode. If you do want to hear more about Asher's life and dive deeper into his life story and mental health challenges, I highly recommend getting a copy of his recently released book back after the break. I listened to it on audible and it was just such a good insight into his whole life. I really enjoyed this and I hope you do too. Just before we kick off this epic conversation, I do want to mention the conscious collective magazine issue one which is on presale right now. You've got until February 10 to order your copy is full of conscious goodness value tools. All the podcast episodes will be featured in there, so all the guests that have been featured including this one and a whole heap of other amazing articles from guest speakers, experts and so much other conscious information that you can consume in a visual physical book. I'm so excited about it and if you do want to get your hands on a copy, it's all the ws. Dot. Carlos Cirilo, C A, R, l, O, c, I, R, I double l O. Dot com, forward slash magazine. And you can preorder your copy today. Asha, how are you my man? I'm good. I'm, I'm sitting here with you. We are in the lobby of the QT hotel in bond or this used to be the Swiss Grand Hotel. And um, when I was a little kid about the age

Speaker 3: 3:00

of eight or so, um, this wasn't here and we used to come down here on holidays to visit my dad's mate and they used to be a cinema, I believe in this site. And along the front and the beach front, there was a bunch of fish and chip shops and it was an efficient ship shop. Uh, that used to exist about 45 meters behind the wall were sitting, not even for 14 meters behind the wall were sitting behind, um, that I first played the game Gallagher, we'll Galaga and um, uh, one of the first games invented where there was a power up where if you shot the alien that stole your ship, you've got double of firepower. I was about eight, I think seven or eight, I would spend all day playing video games there. Um, yeah, it's great to be, he was sitting in the lobby. It's a very hip hotel. If you've never been a QT hotel, there's all kinds of wonderful art and, and video installations and, and uh, kind of maligned photo shops come montage is happening behind us and I'm, Carla and I are sitting here in um, uh, essentially, uh, the kind of headsets that you see esports players wearing when they're doing the steam. Uh, what's the, what's the license or is it steam know what's the live streaming? Um, I'm not sure. I was things where you buy the software. I can't escape. Name's escaping me when we're doing our gaming live stream. And so essentially like if there it just imagine a cutaway of a s like a, you know, a picture in picture of us sitting in a corner commentating on some 12 year old Korean kid dominating some grown men on fortnight. And that's what we look like right now. That was a long answer to your short question. That is that, that is cool. That is cool. Um, I do remember that part in your audio as well, where you put the coin on there to wait your turn and the guys would, uh, the older guys that were in there would always push him in front. Wouldn't care. That's right. I was eight. I was eight and standing on a milk crate. Love it. Little did I know that milk crates would carry on to have a massive role in my life when I became a roadie about 10 years later. Milk crates. Amazing. What are you most excited about in life right now? Right now I'm excited about 2019. I'm excited about incredible things. We're going to learn about ourselves, uh, as a, as a culture, as a society, as a community of people, as we push into yet another year of incredible, exciting challenges, um, that are propping up in front of us. Most of the challenges being caused by choices we have made, uh, in the years prior to this. So, uh, yeah, I'm really interested. I think today, um, in the city of Sydney where we're sitting right now, they switched on the desalination plant, um, to provide more drinking water for us, um, because there's not enough water in the dams. And uh, you know, it's an interesting challenge because you know, this is, this is the future we're living into. This is where we, this is where we're moving into is like, okay, we've made some choices about how we get our energy and here's the result. Okay. So you know, someone's going to talk back radio today. It doesn't a cab, it's like it's got a cost consumers$30 more. You, it's like if you had no fucking water to drink to showers to flush your toilet. And I said, hey, if you give me 30 bucks for a year, I'll give you water to drink to share with some flushing toilet was, you probably wouldn't care, but I took 30 bucks off. Yeah. But it's just such a wink as such. Anyway, so yeah, I'm excited. 2019 is exciting. I'm putting a lot of things in place of things are already in place in my life every day, but a lot of things are in place to support me and my family as we go through and make this a truly transformative year. So I was on holidays with my wife and kid and you're just didn't America. Yeah, we went to it, went to America as a whole other story and um, uh, you know, it was just saying to her like, our life today does not resemble what I like to look like a year ago doesn't mean it's an unrecognizable for five years ago. What are we going to be like in a year from now? And you know, just cause we, if we take time to look where we, where you get an opportunity to go far out. We've done a lot, we've done a lot of work. It's exciting. What's next year going to be like, this is going to be cool. Let's go. So yeah, I'm excited. Are you someone that plans ahead? Like you go, okay, 2019 this is what I want to accomplish by the end of the year, three years, five years. Um, I w I did for a while there. Um, I just, I have like, I have short term, medium term and long term. I mean, I water my God, I'll be 45 and about six weeks. Um, I would like to be the kind of person that is doing, um, I want to be doing, you don't want to be doing handstands at my kids. Um, 40th birthday. All right. I'm gonna be doing the handstand pushups at her 40th birthday, which remain Abi 70. All right, so there's 25 years and that's the kind of thing to maintain, to do that, to do a handstand pushup at my kid's 40th birthday, that means that there's a bunch of choices I'm going to have to make and a bunch of things I have to do every day to make sure that I do that. But it's a really simple, small little goal. But think about what it means I need to do, I need to stay flexible and stay moving. I need to stay, you know, keep a relationship with her. So I'm invited, you know, there's, you know, all kinds of things have to make sure that there's a world for her to have a 40th birthday in. Um, you know, so that's, that's a really exciting thing. Um, as far as long, you know, short term, medium, long term plans, I don't know, like anyone, it's what makes sure there's food in the fridge and a roof over our heads. Um, just do the best job I can and try and, you know, try to make this year a little bit bigger and more rewarding than last year. Um, both, you know, emotionally and financially and you know, that that can look like financially more rewarding and financially, you know, more money or financially less money. It depends on, you know, if you're doing a Gig that you just absolutely love and you jump out of bed for, you know, you probably don't mind not getting paid as much because he just fucking love it. Um, but at this point, I'll take them with me. I still cry on my way back from the depths. So a couple of years back, man, trying to try to rebuild, try to,

Speaker 2: 8:56

trying to rebuild. You'll assess the opportunities.

Speaker 3: 8:58

Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I think, you know, just generally like making sure that I maintain my practice of um, you know, the self care discipline that I have every day and that seems to be having a massive knock on effect. So if I take care of the, if I take care of the first 45 minutes to an hour of my day, um, which looks like a little bit of simple movement while a coffee machine walks up, some squats, some downward dog, some I put dogs, I'm meditating, sorry, before that. Then you know, the movement and the coffee and then journaling. That's usually about an hour. Once I get all that stuff done, if I take care of that and I've been taken care of that every day, everything else is seeming to be living, land, leveling up without any planning. So as long as I take that one hour, sometimes even 45 minutes, if I take that one hour and I make sure I get that right every day, everything else seems to be accelerating beyond than what it was when I wasn't doing it. So if I just can keep doing that, I think I'll be all right. And that's the set up your mindset for the day, mind, body, everything, everything. Um, and gratitudes a massive part of that. Making sure I wrote my gratitude list every morning is a real big part of that. Um, all right. At 20 things I'm grateful for every morning making sure that I tried to move every joint in my body through its full range of motion every day. This is a really important, um, and making sure that I stay, you know, stay present and focused on the things that, um, you know, I need to be present and focused on. Yeah. And remind myself, you know, you know, what am I the kind of person who does, I'm the kind of person that does this. Okay. Today, I'll go through my life being the kind of person that does this. And so, you know, that's what, that's what I start my day with every day. And I've been doing that for a while now and it seems to be working pretty well. Yeah. Powerful. I know the feeling starting in the morning, right. Just sets you up for a good day. Yeah. If I miss it, it's a real problem. Yeah. Yeah. If I miss it, it's a problem. And that's a, and that's okay. But uh, but yeah, certainly on holidays I missed it a few times and I was like, why am I so upside down? Why am I out of sorts that they were having a panic attack at two in the afternoon. Oh fuck. Cause I forgot to write my thing is this morning. Oh, that's, it's really, that's, that's all it is. It's, it's, you know, it just makes everything work out a whole lot better if I, um, if I die on the brain, in Dharma Body and before I get on with everything, it seems to set you up, right? Yeah. An hour for you.

Speaker 2: 11:20

A lot of people would have seen you in the media, obviously from the days on being energy. Um, and then also on the bachelor and all the series that are on at the moment. Um, for myself, I didn't know much about you until I read your book or listened to your book. Um, and I think for a lot of people that's the same, like they see you on TV but they don't actually know who you are or the story behind it. So for the listeners that don't know too much about you, can you give us a quick wrap up of your life from start to now? Obviously the book's there for a reason to go through all of it. Just a quick wrap up on how you got to where you are now.

Speaker 3: 11:54

Ah, fuck man.

Speaker 2: 11:57

Uh, this is, this is what is it? 14 hours? Condemn 50 words or less? I'm going to count my fingers can't along with me. Um,

Speaker 3: 12:06

born in London to refugee parents. Okay, that's six. Okay, here we go. Um, came to Australia. No, moved here as baby. Uh, Adelaide A. Okay, that's 10 words. Here we go. Um, Brisbane for a while was quite fat. Um, got laughed at just like that.

Speaker 2: 12:42

I don't know the story. So,

Speaker 3: 12:44

Eh, uh, c I wasted all these words. I'm making a joke. Okay. Um, uh, started, uh, failed high school. Got Job as roadie at 17. That's one word. Okay. Um, started working in radio at 20. Fuck 12 words left. Okay. TV At 25.

Speaker 4: 13:12

MMM.

Speaker 3: 13:14

I got bad. Got Sick, got better. Work every day towards

Speaker 2: 13:26

health. There's 50. There you go. Awesome. Again guys, is it, this is a 14 hour version of this, so go by the book or listened to it. Uh, would you say you're living your purpose? Uh, yeah.

Speaker 3: 13:42

Yeah, I believe so. I believe, you know, I have a purpose of, I've tried to make my day and the days of the people around me better than it was yesterday. That's, that's what I'm here to do. I'm here to try and make people feel like, um, we're all in this together and the, you know, we're less alone and unlike to try and do that every day and that seems to be working. Um, and again, I notice it when I don't do it. And then that's when that doesn't happen. And I notice that, you know, a true, true happiness comes when you help others. Um, you know, that's the thing that is, it really cannot be denied is that, you know, we're sitting here on this lovely couch and I've got a fancy new phone and a, and a bottle full of water and that makes me happy. But, um, my fiancee and your phone's not going to hold me at night. I'm offense and your phone is not going to make me feel good when I fall off to sleep. But if I called someone that I love and talk them through a sticky moment, which I did do this morning, um, then I'm grateful that I've got my fancy new phone and I can go to bed at night with a warm feeling of mark. And that's what's, that's what's important. But I try and do that every day.[inaudible] so what is success to you then? Success. That's a goodie.

Speaker 1: 14:58

Hm.

Speaker 3: 15:01

I think success changes as you grow. I mean I only know what it's like to be a straight white Hetero man. I don't know what it's like to be anything else. I can read books written by people and listen to podcasts and watch films and talk to people who aren't that, but I only know what it's like to have my experience. So for me, success at the moment is making sure that my kid is happy and successful and living the best life she can live. Making sure that my wife is happy and successful and healthy and living the best life she can live. And me making sure that I turn up every day and give it my best. If I have a day, when those three things happen, then it's a pretty damn good day.

Speaker 2: 16:06

it's interesting cause like there's so many questions I want to start, but I know the story. So it's for people listening, it's, oh, but hang on. Where is that question coming from? So I'm trying to go back before that to explain it instead of going straight into it. Um, what would you say is your most proud of

Speaker 3: 16:25

in life? Um, I'm

Speaker 1: 16:31

nice.

Speaker 3: 16:32

Um, look, there's a few things like emotionally I'm proud that I, um, have a, uh, a good relationship with my wife and kid. Um, it's a simple thing to say, but it's taken a lot of work to get to a place where I'm not such a selfish fuck, which I used to be, that I can have a good relationship with my wife and kid. Um, I'm proud. I don't want to say proud. Oh, I'm just grateful. Yeah. I'm grateful that I'm sober. Um, and I, I know I've done work too. I do work every day to stay that way. Um, but I can't be proud of it because the moment you get proud of it then, then that's eerie gay jumping in. And, um, and as far as, you know, work goes, I'm, I'm really quite proud of the career that I have and the career that I've worked to maintain, uh, the career that has slipped through my fingers more than once and the career that I've crawled clawed back from the brink of more than once. Uh, I'm proud of the things that I've achieved. Um, I'm proud of the fact that at the moment we make a show in a series of shows. You bring people together and uh, both on screen and off screen that people gather together and watch our shows as a group, which makes me very happy. And, um, yeah, I'm proud. I'm proud to be an Australian. Um, you know, I became Australian at 25 and I couldn't be more proud to call this country my home and, uh, give everything to protect his country and the life we have. You know, I'm really, really, really proud to be Australian. Love that. Now, along your journey, there's been a lot of challenges and um, a few highlighted ones in there, but what's, what's the worst thing you feel has ever happened to you and how was that the best thing that ever happened to you? The worst thing that has ever happened to me and how is that the best thing? Fuck me. Well, I'll, I'll, I'll, I'll say something that everyone would be aware of, right? The worst thing that ever happened to me career wise was losing two jobs. My last two jobs in one day I lost Bondi Rescue, which I had been at that point voicing for seven years. I lost Bondi rescue and I lost my radio job. Hot Hits live from LA. I lost them within 18 hours and it was absolutely horrible because these two things, I was on location, I was on, on assignment, I was in New York and I'm in a hotel room and I lost both jobs. I'm like, well, this is fucking great. Now I'm divorced, unemployed, sad, depressed, sober paying rent out of my savings in a foreign country with no job and no career prospects. And I'm about to turn 40. Fuck. All right. That was the worst thing ever. All right. And then I called my, I called my guy and I said, hey man, I called my mentor and I said this, just how, just lost both jobs in one day and goes, I'm excited for you pal! I said I don't think he heard me, David. I just lost both jobs in one day. He goes, man, I'm excited for you. I totally heard you, but I'm excited for you because the universe has got plans for you that you can't even believe. It's getting those two things out of the way so you've got, you know, space to take in what's next. And he couldn't have been more right because those two jobs were barely making ends meet. And um, uh, one of them was very satisfying to do. But the other one I was, I just wasn't into it, but I did it because I needed the money. I was the wrong guy for the Gig. And now my, you know, I couldn't have gone back in time and right now and gone to that hotel room and go, hey buddy, in five years from now you'll be married or you gonna have a kid and your gonna have not enough time. You gonna have to say no to TV jobs because you won't have enough time to do the wall. Um, and so it was, was the best thing because what happened is that I had to, I found myself in a situation where I was in this hole and nothing was going on. And I knew the only way to get out of it was to create my way out of it. And I, so I created, um, I met some people and they basically, they waved the magic wand and said, if you want to be, I said, I want to be a TV producer there. So you're a TV producer. If you want to be a TV producer. If you say you are, you are, it's like I'm a TV bridger. They'd say, congratulations. Now you can make a show. And so I sat down and I made this TV show. And I created this TV show and I drew the whole thing up and I read the whole thing out and I, you know, created all the documents and you know, maybe all the presentations and stuff. And then I came down to the stereo and I pitched, it was a dating show. I pitched this dating, showed a network 10, there's about six months after I lost that job and pitched it to network 10 and they bought it in the room. They bought the dating show in the room. It's like fuck amazing. And so we went into, we went into production, we went into pre production, we started to create the show. We started to put it all together. And um, about six weeks later they said, oh, we don't know if we're going to make your show because we just started, we just got this new show dating show. It's gone really well. I would say, do you think we're going to do it here? It's called the bachelor. Do you want to host it? And I said, yes. So, you know, I would never would have done any of that and I wouldn't be here right now about to go into the seventh season of that show had I not lost both jobs in one day. Yeah. And it was, it was a lonely night and I told her, I'm not going to lie because when you look at your bank balance ago and then you divide it by the amount of money it cost you each week to leave, you're like, fuck, this is not a lot of runway. As long as I keep 1500 bucks off and fly home. Yeah. Yeah. And I think it's something that people can really relate to is having something big and important to them, taken away. But then what to do next then would you say it was that talk with your guy, with your mentor that gave you that optimistic look of, okay, well they're out of the way so that I can focus on something else or something. Yeah. Well I'm really lucky that I have him in my life. I am so lucky. I have him in my life. He, so he so important to me and I was actually great. It was in la the other day to catch up with him and it was amazing to see him again. But to have someone like that who just basically, you know, like they would do in the old cartoons when they used to show a lot more violence when like when itchy and scratchy wasn't a joke. It was actually that's what they used to do to each other and cartoons. Um, he basically picked me up and the slapped me so hard, my head spun around, um, cause I was about to launch into just art of victim hood and just like put the cloak of victim on and just keep it on. And that was it. That was going to be it for the rest of my life. Just seal it with concrete and put myself in a sarcophagus of you don't know what happened to me. Fuck you. And he's like, no man, you're um, you know, you've got all this space to do whatever you want. Now the university's got bigger plants, man, and you just keep, keep your ship upright, keep foot, keeps sailing forward and you'll be all right. And he was right, man. He was absolutely right. And Yeah, I was really lucky that I had them because we have a choice in every moment. We can choose to see a moment as a victim or a victor. And, um, I was really lucky that I had him at that moment to grab me by the scruff of my neck and, and keeping, holding my face to the light because I was ready to slip off the edge. But he was, you know, I'm really lucky for that. So for people that, let's say go through that and in that situation happens, um, I know something you referenced in the, in the book is that you, you created your job. Did you just combine all your passions to then create that? Or did you set out and say, look, this is where ideally want to be and I'm just going to go out and get that? Um, I think it's important. I'd been reading a lot of of stuff about, are we still rolling? If you falling asleep cause it's still roll through the sleepy. Sure. That's exciting. I'm sorry the computer just went to sleep. Damn you screensaver. Um, I think it's important to, you know, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's the oldest thing ever. If you'd, if you'd, if you'd do a job you love, you'll never go to work ever, or you'll never work a day in your life as well, is that they're not doing it. You're not that one. Yeah. You can do a job you love, you'll never work a day in your life because you'll just love to get up and go to work. And so it was very much a case of, all right, so what's, what am I good at? I'm good at hosting big shiny floor television with a big audience. Um, what I wanna do, I want to go down in Australia for 10 weeks, which will make enough money to pay for, you know, a couple of months of living back in America, um, and showcase what I'm good at. And I want to make a show about what I'm going through at the moment, which was at the time internet dating, which was terrible. I don't recommend it. Um, and so it's was like, yeah, I would love to get up every day and do this and I would love to get up every day and host this show. I'm going to make it. And that was it. And because I created something that I loved when I spoke about it, that's what got people excited. They're like, all right, you really loved this and I could see why this is going to be great, let's make it. Um, and I think that's really important. I think it's really important to create something that's true to you. All right. Um, because your simple passion for it will be the thing that sells it and that's really important. Yeah. And even in this situation, even if it's not that exact thing and other, other opportunities will arise from that. Exactly. Exactly. Cause you put yourself, then you basically pull onto the freeway of opportunity. Um, and he just might catch slipstream, which I luckily did. What would you say is the best advice you've ever been given a, it was a, um, uh, a translation from a check parable, uh, into English for my dad. And he said there's one, I first started getting into the music industry when I was 17. He said, make friends with the steps on the letter because you'll need them when you come back down. And he's 100% right. And that happened. That's happened so often in my career. Um, I don't think any industry, any specialist industry in any country is too small for you to be an asshole. He just can't now. And no one's that good. No one's that good at their job that they can be an asshole and get away with it for a long time. Eventually you'll get managed out. You God, often I start my own consulting firm. Yeah. Good for you. Um, you can't afford to be in our socks. No one wants to get up and go to work with an asshole. Yeah. It's important. It's important just to remember what you're doing, you know, you know, there was a great, uh, great camera man. I used to wear it with, his name was Jaakko. Um, we faced death together a few times unfortunately, but, um, we'll be setting up a shot and you go like calm. I, it's not dances with wolves basically saying, look, we're standing in front of a camera talking about pop music. Okay. Don't worry about the shot. It's going to be fine. And he's right. You know, and this is the same with, you know, when we're making, um, when I'm making breakfast ready, I used to have a producer who's like, we're just saying things between pop songs. That's what we're doing. There's nothing bigger than that day. So I don't take it too seriously because it isn't like, unless you're a paramedic, you can afford to just go, oh, this is fun. Enjoy it. You can make a few mistakes. Yeah. Yeah. Especially with a lot of TV. So seriously, you can tell him not to take it so seriously. You got to you, it doesn't mean you can't, you gotta be sloppy at it. Just don't take it so seriously because you, you really are not saving lives. You're helping provide people an escape from the shitty day if they need it. You're helping people connect with their family if they need it. You're helping people enjoy your great Australian story if they need it. And that's, you know, that's fine, but it's not the end of the world if we don't get this thing right. Yeah. Okay. That's fine. Leave that to the people who actually take jobs on the front lines. We're not those people. We make prime time. Shiny floor shows. Life will go on if our show does. Yeah. We find there's plenty out there as well. So would you say that for, why would people be in that situation of getting to the point where they're stressed or they're going, you know, it's the end of the world. If this doesn't happen, um, well, it can be super easy to catastrophize and it going to be super easy to see. Everything is super serious. Um, but it's important I feel to try as hard as you can to look at situations. Uh, you know, it's great that we have so many, like the technology is, is to have a drone now and so everyone will know what I'm talking about. But you know, if there's a drone 30 centimeters above your head, all right, it's going to be full on and it was before 100 it'll be scary. Every word of it. You fly that up just 10 meters selling the situation looks different. Okay. Cause there's so much more context fired up 100 meters situations even more different flight up a kilometer, which they can go to like just if things are getting serious, just try and try and imagine that, try it. Try to imagine the shot from a drone, five meters, 10 meters up, 50 meters, a hundred meters up, kilometer. Okay. When you're under that kilometer high and you're looking down and you see your office or your workplace or your family or whatever it is, and he see old offices and workplaces and families and everything going on around you, you get to see things like, oh, I'm clearly not the only person going through this book is, chances are for, I live in a suburb in Australia, there's probably, I dunno, 50 other families that live within that radius. So it's probably a lot of people going through what I'm going through. So I'm not alone. And you know what, there's probably also a lot of people who have been through it. I've been through. So if I need an answer, I can go knock on someone's door. Who I, you know, it looks like, what was the line? Um, once, when I'm always asked for advice from someone who's got what you want. All right. So when I chose my mentor, I'm like, I need someone, that's what I want. Cause married is holding down a job, paying his rent, he's got kids. That's what I want. So I want to go found someone who could teach me how to do that. And it's important to realize that once you get to that big kind of zoomed out scope. Okay. All right, so this might not, if this thing doesn't happen, if I don't get this assignment done, if I don't finish this project, if I don't get this dinner to the table at a certain time, it's going to be all right. Life in over orders are the houses is going to keep going on. It's not the global tragedy that I feel it is in my head. Okay, let's see him back in could bring that drone back down. Okay, where are we now? And we're just hearing my kitchen. Okie dokes. So yes, I'm having this altercation with my wife or my kid or my husband or whatever, or yes, dinner's being burned or yes, I'm not going to finish this thing before the morning, but it's going to be all right. And I think that's the important thing to practice that in your mind. Practice getting, just flying that drone up and down and we're just, just when things are feeling safe, do it. And then when you need it, you can do it in a district. Tricky situation. And I found that helps a lot. Yeah.

Speaker 2: 31:42

Zooming out from the situation and not just having it on yourself, it's true, but going out to the people around you, the community.

Speaker 3: 31:48

Yeah. The planet as a whole. Exactly. Yeah. And just understand that, oh right. I'm just as tiny little 74 kilogram, just blob of, of bony water, wandering around that has a zero impact on anything that I cannot physically touch. I really don't matter. All right. What was I worried about? Again,

Speaker 2: 32:15

it's funny because it's, it's so similar in the stuff that I teach through my gratitude mastermind, which is to get people to focus on how that certain things, so whether it's the drink bottle affects you, why you're grateful for in your life, for you, and then how does that you having gratitude for that affect the people around you and then how does that affect the communities? Zoom out even further. So you are having, having clean water and having accessibility to claim water

Speaker 3: 32:40

that nourishes you to be your best person and then to be able to, you know, go on about your day and then how that impacts it. It really does cause people with, even with gratitude, it's, I can't think of anything to be grateful for. And it's like, well mate, look, I can tell you right now, if you don't have clean water to drink, like we said earlier, your life's going to, you're going have a very different day. Yeah. All right. And when you consider that, how's it one and a half billion people on our planet don't have clean water to drink. Try to imagine what life would be like for you today. You, your family, your children, your parents, your people you work with. If you couldn't put a glass of clean water in your mouth, if you couldn't flush, you'll pay and poop out of your life. And if you couldn't wash your own body, wash your food and Cook your day will be very, very different. You would not spend your day doing things you like to do. You would spend your day getting clean water. It might only be a leader of it and you'd have to share it with everybody and it might be 10 kilometers walk away, which is what happens in many parts of the world. You don't have to do that today. That's something incredibly to be incredibly grateful for and from if you keep that in your heart, then the fact that you've got a parking ticket or the fact that you know your kid came home with a different report cards and that what you were both expecting or the fact that you didn't get this job or the fact that you lost a job or the fact, you know, yeah, those things all happened. But you know what I did after that I had glass of clean water and I took a shit and a flushed out of my house. Those two things are modern miracles. I live in the future. Okay, I'll be fine. Let's move on. Pretty amazing. Incredible. What advice would you give your 16 year old self? So at this point you were in Brisbane? Yeah, I was in Brisbane. I was on the way to 112 kilograms. I was so insecure and shouting and being loud and trying to control every situation as a way of trying to make myself feel safe. I was drinking three liters of coke a day. I was very unhealthy. I would say don't take it so seriously. This will all be over in a year and a half. None of this will matter in a year and a half. None of it. Learn some emotional regulation. Learn how to use your breath to change the way you feel rather than putting coca cola and hamburgers and your face to change how you feel and just try to be kinder to people. And just shut the f*ck up and don't drink so much. That's what I say. Then I wouldn't listen to myself cause I was 16 yeah and I'll keep going. But the good intention would be there. Uh, I'm sure somebody told me. Sure I got told that many times, but I just didn't hear it. 16 I'm like, what do you know? Yeah, well I've been told so many times. I got to hold his own times. Maybe you want to have a look at how much you're drinking, man. Are you sure you want to do this to yourself? All the time. I needed to be told that I needed to be told that until I was God. Damn, it was 26 years. When did I start drinking? How old was I? 2022 years. 22 years. I needed to be told that before I finally figured out to my, maybe I should start doing this to herself before she, when the thought was mine, then it was a good idea. But when it's other people's thoughts, I wasn't interested. I could have saved a lot of time in pain. Oh, that's the experience and the journey of life. Isn't it? Such a great reality TV show where to j journey. Yeah. Well, again, that's why we gotta get the book. How do you think people can become more fulfilled in life? Are Goodness. Um, well, firstly, you've got to figure out what fulfills you. And you may very well be living a life that is unfulfilling and you haven't figured why. And then you've got to look at yourself and maybe try a bunch of new things and figure out what is it that does make you feel fulfilled? And you might, it might it be something that you've never done before, well then you're going to figure out how to learn how to do that and then figure out how you can integrate that with the life that you want to live with the people you want to live it with. And do that. But understand that. I think the most important thing is to understand that you have so much more control over your day, your life, your outcomes, than you possibly know because you choose in every moment how to see it. You can choose to see you're getting a parking ticket as the shittest thing ever. And that parking, you know, officer is an asshole. And you know what a horrible woman that she would do that to me on this day. Well, you can see it as like, well, you know what, I just pay. I just paid for five lifeguards to be on the beach today to save a tourists life. That's awesome. Good on you. You know, cause we were, we are right now we're in sitting in bond by, which is the Waverley Council and the Waverley council lifeguards are the ones you see on Bondi rescue and they're paid by the council. And so when you pay your parking fees, which are humongous in this part of the world, you know, you're paying for a lack of service. So you're like, oh well I guess the life got to save an extra person. You know, you can change, you can change your perceptions of anything. And I think that's the most important thing. If you want to feel fulfilled, understand that you have the choice to be fulfilled or not to be fulfilled in how you see the world. Is that Polo? She Ain't, it looks like it, doesn't it? So looks like an x Australian bachelor contestants, Bachelorette contestant Apollo who just walked by. You would have so many hundreds of delight. There's hundreds of them. We're about to do our seventh season. And if you consider that this, um, 20 minimum 20 ladies and a minimum 18 guys, and we've done six of the gold ones, six of the boy, one and four of the gold one. It's a lot of people. It's a lot of people. Um, but that's what I would say as far as feeling fulfilled. That's really the key. I think he's understanding that the super power we have as my dog can't see, my dog can't make the choice about how he feels about something. My dog reacts on instinct. All right? We can rise above our instinctual reactions and we can choose to circumvent those. We have to learn how to do it. We can breathe. We can observe the feelings in our bodies. Just understand that's just a feeling. That's not a fact. Okay? So while I might be worried about this thing that is freaking me out, that's just a physical reaction. It's neurons firing in my brain to make this part of my stomach can track to make me feel a little weird. Is it changing anything outside of my body? No. Okay. So I can just observe it. Understand that I'm powerful enough to just deal with it right now and everything else can it keep happening. And in fact, I can take action in a completely different way and just keep going. Even though these feelings in my body, I can do it. And um, I think that's the most important thing as far as feeling fulfilled is to understand that you have far more control of your life than, than you might believe because you have the opportunity to choose how you perceive things. Um, if you have a healthy brain. When I was sick and I got quite sick for awhile, I didn't have that. Um, and I had to be on meds for a long time and do a lot of work to retain, regain that ability. Um, but if you have a healthy brain, you have the choice, you have the powerful choice to see, and then you may very well not like the fact that I'm saying this, you may really want in all of your heart to abject absent yourself from all responsibility of your life. You may want to go, yeah, but you don't understand. I'll go to shoot Boston, flicking my parents and my fucking husband or wife or kid or dog or whatever. Fuck, you don't know shit. You've chosen all those things. All right? You chose that job. He chose to stay. Yeah, there's an option. You don't have to stay. You can go somewhere else. You'll still be alive. We're living in an incredible country. We have a social safety net. You can go somewhere else. You'll be all right for a couple of weeks until you find someone's love. It'll be challenging. You might have to eat ramen for a little while and not the Nice ramen like the one you put a boiling kettle on too, but you'll be okay. Um, and you might feel way happier. Um, but you have the choice. We always have the choice and that's the most, most powerful, powerful thing, I think as far as feeling fulfilled goes to understand is we have the choice to feel fulfilled or not. So that's the fulfillment side. What about, how can people find their purpose? Well, I think again, that's looking at the thing that makes you feel the happiest and your purpose. Your purpose may very well be, I want to make my family the healthiest, happiest, most stable. Um, they can possibly be. And I want to give them an opportunity to pursue any thing that they want to pursue. All right. If that's your purpose, then it's pretty quick what you've got to do and you'll go to bed every night feeling, yeah, that's awesome. You know, my kid wanted to do this and I facilitated that. They went into it in the end, but that's okay. I gave him the opportunity and that's helped him, you know, figure it out a little bit more about what their purpose is and what they want to do. And I think that's, you know, your purpose doesn't have to be, I'm going to, you know, make sure that every Australian indigenous child will be able to read by the age of 20, 25. You know, that's big thing. It doesn't have to be that. It can be something, you know, I closer to home, closer to home. It can be. I want. My purpose is to make incredible food for myself, but restaurant showing great respect to me and my family were making great food for me and my family. My purpose is fifth. Cause if I do that, if I lay that cornerstone, everything else is great. I'm giving them the gift of not having heart disease when they're 60 by making sure that their tonic take away every day. You know, that could be your purpose, but I think it's, it's important to find something that makes you just glow on the inside. And it could be anything. It could be anything. But I think you'll find more often than not, it's if it involves helping another person, it's going to feel way better. It's going to feel way better. Yeah. If this was the last time you seen me, which it won't be any times, and I asked you to teach me something tangible that I can use every day in my life to improve my life, what would you teach me? If I could teach you something tangible that you can use every day in your life to change your life, to improve my life, to improve your life. Um, I could be steps on something. Um, could be a morning routine or I would, I would say to you, I would only, I would, I wouldn't presume that I know anything. I would only share with you what works for me. Yep. And I would share with you that,

Speaker 4: 43:49

um, being, uh,

Speaker 3: 43:57

what shall I say? Um, what can I teach you? I'm going to teach you right now just to be honest. Take, take 10 minutes every day and write down 20 things that you are truly grateful for every day. It's okay if they're the same thing every day. It's fine. Just feel it in your heart, fill it in your heart and do it every morning, the evening in the morning. Um, that is, it's not some sort of dream catcher, crystal shit. This stuff has been scientifically proven in double blind placebo studies. This is like, this is the real science stuff. Um, if you write down 20 things you're grateful for every morning, but it's got to be with your head, it's got to be on with the pan. It's got to be on paper. It cannot be on your phone. There's something about it just doesn't quite work. Right. Yeah. Um, if you do that every day for a month, you'll be amazed at how much more wonderful your life appears to be to you. Um, I do it every day and been doing it every day for years. And it is a, it's truly transformative experience and I would encourage, it's something I learned in sobriety, but it's something that is, um, there for a reason because it's really powerful because it helps. It does so many things. It does what we were speaking about before. It helps you really frame what it is that you've got. You know, it really makes you frame what it is that you've got and how, how incredible everything actually is. Um, and then as you go through your day and things kind of Shit, you and people will cut you off in traffic and someone's rude to you and you know, someone takes the, the last jar and a teller off the shelf at the coals and you know, fuck, I really wanted that because I wanted to make my thing, you know, it's okay. I'll live in a country where there'll be more to tell it tomorrow. I don't know if there's a, there's another store, 200 meters. I don't know if go pick the hassle months. I don't have to fly to Italy to get it. Someone's putting us on a boat and sail it out here. I have two daughters, 25 tomorrow I can go and get another job going to be all right because I live in this incredible country. Here I am standing in his climate controlled environment. You know, with this magical room full of food that will probably go off if people don't eat it. You know, life is amazing. If you take a moment to look around and then once you stand in a place of life is amazing. Once you stand in a place of abundance that happens after you finished your gratitude list, you become a, you know, a bit more of a warm thing to be around for others. And, uh, you'll notice a definite change in how you perceive the world and how others treat you, how you feel traded. And I guarantee, guarantee that you'll find everything just a little bit easier. Yeah. Because you are looking, you've got, you've taken the everything shit glasses off and he put the, everything's awesome glasses off. That's some, not to say that, you know, you should deliberately overlook things that are bad or dangerous or we'll put you or your family in jeopardy. Um, but it's just training that perception, muscle training, that ability to um, see everything as either terrible or everything is a fucking miracle. And as far as I'm concerned, we are, we live every day. We live in a science fiction film. All right. Right now it's extraordinary for the life we live. Um, and sure we're at that man and everything else is just gravy early. Yes. You become a west blessed to have the problems that you have. Because look at the life you've got nothing to complain about possible and white male straight and middle class in a safe country. I won the fucking lottery man. So I'm really lucky. I don't know the feeling. What is most meaningful to you in life right now? Uh, most meaningful to me in life right now is caring for my family and making sure that my family's okay. Um, I had a really transformative experience about five years, four years ago, Audrey and Georgia. I was still just Audrey's boyfriend at this point. Um, flew over to California to visit me. I was still living in America and we went around Disneyland and going around Disneyland with a 10 year old is one of the coolest fucking things you can ever do. And we're walking around and I'd been just hustling so hard trying to get a Gig, you know, pitching, we're in development on a thing or two or trying to make one or two shows happen over there. I was trying to make this, you know, still trying to, you know, recreate what I've done in America in 2011 with a CBS show and them working hard, working hard, we're going to have hustle, hustle, pitch, pitch, hustle, hustle, pitch. And they came around and we're walking around Disneyland and I just saw the way that Audrey mother, Georgia, and I've got a glimpse of what life could be like for the three of us. And then there's a, there's moment I'm like, there's no gig. There's no TV show that's possibly as awesome as the way this feels right now. I'm out done. And that was it. What I wanted changed. So caring for my family and providing from a family and making sure my family has the best chance to have a rich and fulfilling and healthy and happy life is, is the greatest thing right now. I'm grateful that I get to do it by doing a job I love. But if I had to do another job and I still got to do that, it'd be all right. What impact do you want to have on people, the community in the world? Um, I dunno, I guess I'd just like to make people, hopefully encourage people to think about the world a little differently. Um, I think about what it is to, to be Australian a little differently. That's a, maybe consider others a little more. That's about it, you know. Um, I'll do that, you know, every day through my own personal choices, my consumption choices. I haven't been essentially plant based or you know, for want of a better word, vegans since 2002. Um, because, you know, I understand that, how my choices affect others. I think the short answer would be it would be just trying to see how your choices affect others. All right? And think about what it might be like if those choices of others affected you. Okay. And that can go from the way our country treats people seeking refuge from incredible conflict and what we're doing as a nation on Madison narrow. Um, what we do as a nation on te Molesta as far as the oil and gas goes. Um, what we do as a nation to our an indigenous community. Um, what we do as a nation with our emissions and how that affects the, our neighbors and the Pacific fucking substantially. When you think about it, um, you know, think about, you know, and that goes, you know, just down if you're in the shops and there's only one jar of Nutella and you see two people going for it, what's going to make you feel better at the bottom of your heart bragging to your mates or you stole the last year and a teller or being able to tell you mates had the last year and a teller. But I gave it to this dude. He was really happy. I'm going to say the second one. So that's how, that's what is, you know, just kind of think about how your actions impact others. Um, and think about, just just have that we live in a community, we're not isolated, but nonetheless, whether isolated for each other and we're not an isolated for our environment. We're not isolated from, um, the, the ecosystem that we live in and understand that we're all be part of that with each other. Um, with the air and the water. And everything. That's what I say. What does it mean to be conscious? Um, well happens right after I wake up. Just talking about in life to be conscious, have a conscious what I just said. Yeah. I think that's what I just said. You know, just be aware like you can wander through life with your face in your phone, just completing the same routine behaviors that you've done by habit and wake up and the 50 and be like, Holy Shit, I've got here, I've got the car that the ad told me to get. I've got the boat that the ad told me to get. I've got all the food that the ads told me to get my family, but I feel empty inside because I haven't taken any time to nourish the relationships they have with others, you know? Um, but if you, if you are conscious as you go through your day, if you, um, you know, if you're aware of, you know, how your feet feel inside your shoes as you walk from place to place, it'll give you more of an appreciation for what's going on. Because ultimately, I mean, the time between now and when I was playing video games in the fish and chip shop, 2014 meters behind this wall, um, is a blink of an eye, not even as far as our planet is concerned. And it's over in a second man. It's over in a goddamn second. So we only get one shot. Well only get once around. We only get one body to do it in. So try and be as worth it as you possibly can every day. Try to be as conscious of it as you possibly can every day for Lizzie. It'll, it'll vanish into thin air and then, oh shit, I'm in my seventies and they can't walk properly. And I'm sitting here watching television waiting to die. Nobody wants that. So where can people see more of your staff, follow you, follow you or your events, get the book, all that sort of stuff. Um, there's an invention called the Internet and um, it's accessible on mobile devices now. Uh, I dunno, I just Google search, you'll find me at all. They Google know everything about you and then it all gets a bit weird. But, um, I don't know man. You know, you can Instagram by it, by a book where the books are, you can, there's not many options on Instagram, so you can find me there. Um, that's usually where most of the action happens. Um, but the podcast, most of all, just where you heard this podcast, type in the search bar Osher, and I'll show up and there you go. Have a listen if it's for you. Keep listening. If it's not, no worries. That's fine. Awesome. And is there any other things you want to leave with the, with the listeners, just to remember that if you have a vision of who it is that you want to be, and then just take a tiny incremental movement towards who it is you want to be every day before you even get to halfway, you'll be that. Say for example, I want to be a surfer. All right? What's the smallest thing I can possibly do to become a surfer? Probably go to the beach. All right. If you do it every day. We did it every week. If he can't get there every day, getting the water everyday, get used to being in the water every day. Eventually be like, Oh my start to body surfing. Body surfing. You might get a boogie board, can be cold, and you get a wet suit and then you get along word and you go every day and he started meeting other people and fuck. Before you know it, I'm a surfer. All right. It could be the same as like, oh, I want to run a marathon and I, here I am sitting on my couch. That's a long way from nothing to 42.1 kilometers. So what do you do? You, what's the smallest thing you can do is just put on a pair of shoes and walk out the door. You walk a hundred meters, turn around and come back the next day you walk 150 meters, turn around and come back. You do it every day. One day you'll feel that running and then you might run 200 meters and then walk. Okay. And then just incrementally, slowly, slowly, slowly. Before you know it, I'm going to say within a month you'll be running every day and then you might go, oh, this is fun. I'm, I go do a five k and then before you know you've done a five k and then slowly, slowly, slowly before you even got to the marathon, you're like the fuck I'm a runner. This is what I do. Now. Just understand that a tiny, habitual action, taking the direction of what it is that you want to become every day. We'd get you there faster than try to suddenly become this thing. It doesn't work like that. Just do it piece by piece every day and you'll be fine. You'll get what you're after. Climbed the letter. Don't try to jump the top.

Speaker 2: 56:25

I don't know about climbing a ladder. I'd be like, you know, first be aware that there is a ladder and then if you need some wood, you can go and get the wood and the, but you need a it. Now you can build a letter, but you know, then if you build your own ladder, no one can ever take it away from you. That's the thing, you know. Amazing. Well thank you so much for your time and for everything and I do highly recommend everyone going and getting the book. There's so much more that we obviously couldn't cover that would be about 20 episodes of a podcast to dive into, but there's a lot of juicy stuff in there. You've got a funky coffee play list as well and Spotify and, and all the rest guys go follow it. Follow everything and a screenshot this, tag us both in it. We'd love to see your support and thank you for your time and opening up and being vulnerable and all that. I know you're a, you're a busy guy doing a lot of uh, empowering things. Happy to be here and uh, I can't wait to meet up again. I'm going to go find a Gallagher again now. No,

Speaker 3: 57:22

good luck. Oh, hi Bro. Thanks man. Thank you so much for taking the time to listen in on their conversation. Hopefully you've got some insights and values to raise your awareness. If you like the podcast, please like share on social media and leave a review on whatever platform and listening on. I would really appreciate it. You can also keep up to date on our Facebook and Instagram pages. Both handles are at the conscious podcast and also my personal account, which is at Carlow underscore Cirillo. Until next time, take care and be nice.