Mind of Snaps - Positivity Podcast | Ep. 57 - "What Are You Saying NO To"

Welcome to "What Are You Saying NO To" - the 57th Episode of the Mind of Snaps Positivity Podcast!

This is a special podcast series that is separate from the regular Mind of Snaps Podcast, with a new release (typically) posted every Monday for Patreon supporters!

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Hang in there, friends... we're all in this together.

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Jessy (Mind Of Snaps / SheSnaps)

www.MindofSnaps.com

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Transcript

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good morning my lovely friends what an exciting weekend this turned out to be wow wow first things first in case you weren't on social media this weekend or if you weren't around on saturday night when i made the announcement i'm seven weeks pregnant nuts i am still honestly in shock having found out only a little over a week or so ago if you are familiar at all with how most folks tend to handle pregnancy announcements you will probably be aware that most people do not announce until much later in the pregnancy usually not until after the first ultrasound at the very least i decided to not go that route for many reasons but the biggest one being that i enjoy the beautiful moments that come from us being completely honest with each other i really didn't like the idea of trying to hide my pregnancy for the next few weeks while i wait on my first ultrasound especially because the primary reason people wait is so that they don't have to tell anyone anyone who knows about the pregnancy that is if it doesn't work out you know it can be kind of hard to announce it get everyone excited and then have to tell them that it's not happening i know that miscarriages are common in early pregnancies i know a lot of people who have gone through miscarriages i know that when i go into my ultrasound i could learn that this is an ectopic pregnancy or that it's not viable for some other reason i'm aware of that the more i think about it though the more i realized that even if that is the case even if this doesn't work out the way we'd hope i would really like to not have to hide my sadness from the community because i absolutely would be sad the majority of the growth that has happened in this community has come about i believe because of our complete and total openness with each other i think there's a great deal of power and vulnerability and as i've said probably 1000 times by now we are about realistic positivity not toxic positivity we're not trying to pretend everything is just sunshine and fucking rainbows all the time you know sometimes stuff is hard being realistic means this pregnancy could end in a way that would be heartbreaking for us but it also means that there's room for me to be grateful about the experiences i'm having now and be grateful for the support of this wonderful community and it means there's room for me to remind myself that even if this doesn't work out i'm still going to be okay i will grieve i will have to work through my feelings about this but i will still be okay inevitably so why hide any of it i also believe in the power of our collective minds and intentions that's part of the reason i wanted to share early i really really want this pregnancy to work out i would love to have this baby right now i'm in limbo just waiting to find out if this baby is growing in the right place and uterus and in a healthy manner and while i wait i would really appreciate any kind of thoughts and prayers and good vibes you can direct towards us for those of you who have already been doing this thank you a ton it really means so much all the kind words and messages were really beautiful to go through when i looked on twitter and when i was looking on on reddit but not reddit discord that other thing with lots of words y'all pregnancy brain is real my brain is so mixed up but it was really it was really beautiful to go through all the messages i really appreciate all the kind words my hormones are going wild right now and i am crying over so many things so crying over all the nice messages was a pleasant alternative to crying because i'm hungry or crying because i'm tired i guess i'm turning into like a giant toddler anyway let's get into what i wanted to talk to you all about this week as i was working on deciding whether or not to share our news i started thinking about this concept that the book deep work which i think i've recommended a few times now deep work goes into in a bit more depth anytime you say yes to something you're also saying no to something else sometimes multiple other things we have a tendency to think almost one dimensionally about decisions we have to make someone will ask us to do something or to volunteer our time and we quickly think what are the benefits to doing this or why should i do it our brains come up with a ton of answers and without asking ourselves okay what are the reasons i shouldn't do it we just jump in headfirst there's an interesting example in the book of how folks have a tendency to justify the use of or the purchase of things that it turns out they don't really need the example that got this section started i believe was a farmer who decided to not buy a large piece of machinery that most other farmers utilize i forget what it is pregnancy brain but i'm pretty sure it was something to do with harvesting grain for the animals he had to feed most farmers will invest in this thing without thinking too much of it because there's a ton of utility in it they have animals to feed this makes it possible to feed the animals from their own property boom decision made this farmer however recognize the large investment he'd be making and decided to sit and really balance out the numbers and do the full pros and cons list after sitting and thinking on it for a while he recognized that he can actually save a great deal of money and time if he didn't buy the machine and instead just decided to buy the feed for his his animals elsewhere he took into account the maintenance of the machine the way that it would impact the land it worked on i believe one of the things was that it would compact the soil because it's so heavy so to add another task to his list of of things he needed to do because then he would need to aerate the fields regularly there was also the time it would take to grow and harvest the grains etc etc etc after pondering it for a while he realized without purchasing this machine he'd be able to spend more time on the rest of his chores on his animals and on selling his products at local farmers markets he wound up doing very well for himself and was interviewed for the book for that reason this particular example segwayed into the way that we have a tendency to quickly justify our usage of things or our perceived need for things without really considering if it's actually important to our end goals or not twitter is a great example many of us can easily justify our need and i'm err quoting real fucking hard right now or need to be on twitter for me personally it's a big part of my brand and social media platforms for a lot of writers they feel it's important for them to be on it so they can help market their future books but what some writers have realized is their time is better served actually writing the fucking books not trying to build a brand on social media many writers for this reason have completely opted out of twitter and decided to simply let their work speak for itself this strategy has served them well they talked about some of them in that book as well now for the average person who isn't self employed how necessary is twitter or social media in general sure it can be a useful tool for connection but it also comes with many downsides in including the incredibly addictive nature of it and the potentially detrimental impact it can have on our mental health i'm looking at you doom scrollers and this never ending election if you simply ask yourself why should i be on twitter or social media your brain will have lots of answers for you however if you stop and ask yourself what am i saying no to when i say yes to social media it starts to change the answers you receive many of you have hobbies you have been dying to pursue i hear it all the time i just don't have time for these things many of you enjoy reading writing creative hobbies like painting or sculpture a lot of you just really love to learn you want to learn new languages learn about the world whatever like there's so much how much of this are you missing out on because of how quickly you get sucked into trying to stay on top of everything through social media how much of that news is even important enough that you need to be on as much as you may be the answer is probably not as much as you think now i'm not suggesting that everyone immediately deletes their social media accounts because i think there's always room to find a healthy balance i'm only suggesting that you start recognizing that when you say yes to anything you are also saying no to something else and maybe that's something else if you really think about it is more important to you maybe you could just delete a few apps off of your phone and start spending more time being present maybe you could start carrying a book around instead of feeling compelled to doom scroll i'm sure the more you think about it from a broader perspective you'll know what feels right even with just with my earlier situation i mentioned i was thinking initially yes i'll keep my pregnancy private because that's what most people do i wasn't really thinking about what i'd be missing out on For the sake of that, yes, I'd be missing out on opportunities to be completely and totally honest with you all. And I would inevitably have to lie or burn the truth in order to keep my secret. And for what to do what others do, because it's been set as a sort of standard book that too many people are afraid of their feelings and are definitely not comfortable speaking about them with friends, but I am, I'm not other people. So when I realized all the things I'd be saying no to, I changed my mind and decided to share. Other examples could be very simple ones, like stuff you encounter in your daily life, saying yes to that snack that you know, isn't healthy. What are you essentially saying no to? Maybe you're saying no to having a bit more energy available to you. Maybe you're saying no to having a full day without any bloating or any stomach discomfort? Maybe you're saying no to the weight loss you've been working so hard on? Maybe you're saying no to a more nutrient rich diet that could help provide you with more mental focus. When your friends hit you up late at night on a work night and ask you to game? Sure you can come up with lots of reasons why it's a good idea. What are you saying no to in those circumstances, you might be saying no to a better night's rest, to feeling refreshed and more focused at work the next day, to the potential to exceed some of the goals you have at work that could help you move closer to a possible promotion. The possibilities really are endless. Now part of the reason I wanted to share this is because I know some of y'all are people pleasers and you want to do all the things to help others. But without stopping to think about how that impacts you and what you're saying no to in your own life. You may be setting yourself up for a burnout. And I've been there go back a few positivity podcasts and you'll hear all about it. So this week, think a bit about what your overall goals are. Think about what kind of life you want to live and why. Think about what you'd like your days to look like. Then consider those things every time someone asks you to do something to volunteer your time or take on a project to babysit or to game late at night. When you feel like saying yes to scrolling on social media. Think of those goals again. Are you saying no to doing something either productive or mindful or beneficial? Are your mental or physical well being? How have you been doing with shades? Remember, in the days ahead, every yes comes with some knows. What have you been saying no to? Is it time to change it up? Think about it. And remember friends, stay hydrated. Be kind to yourself and others. And as always manifest dope shit.