Riding the Winds of Love: From Unexpected Bumble Bonds to Spotting Red Flags

Ready for a whirlwind of dating tales, personal growth stories and insightful discussions about love and relationships? We've got your back! We open the curtains on season with a bang, taking a deep dive into the enticing world of matchmaking and telling tales that prove resilience is key. We've curated a fascinating account from the LA Times about a Bumble date turned unexpected friendship, and we decipher the ever-important topic of spotting red flags in dating. Add to this mix vibrant conversations with our incredible guests including brave transgender individuals and cancer survivors, and you've got a recipe for a captivating podcast experience.

But hold on, we've got more! Ever thought about dating a younger man or wondered about the struggles of dating someone who doesn't want children? Allow us to share personal stories that might just offer you a fresh perspective. We also read a touching letter from one of our listeners who found herself in a similar predicament, and it's got us thinking about inviting her over for a chat. We close this emotional roller coaster of an episode with a heartfelt plea for love and acceptance, because we're all about exploring the complexities of life and relationships together and we want you to be a part of that journey too.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

on my podcast because at the end of the year I'm going to keep it open, but in January, me and Erin Wing woman are going to be doing the B word. You can think whatever you want the B word is, but we have a B word. We're going to be doing it through a network. So I just thought I'd come in and talk a little bit now. I wanted to read this, which I love. You know Erin's all about relationships and you know matching people and so forth and so on, and I'm more about the people who, in stuff not that that's a bad thing the people who inspire me. Who are the people who inspire me? Well, I've had so many people on my podcast like burn beauty and angel Gillette, transgender people, people, transgender dad, nanna tuckett, drag Star Queen, so many people with that cancer, michael Kramer, and are working through that. You know the issue and that so many people who have, you know, come back from the depths of destruction and delusion and Living their lives today. So that's what's important to me. But I wanted to read this cute. I love to read Matchmaking stories from the LA Times Sunday. Okay, they will talk about my matchmaking stories if you want to listen. Again, a match made, but not with him.

Speaker 1: 1:33

My bumble date was a loser. But let me to a new friend by Clara Caldera. She is, let's see. She's a writer, industrial organization Psychologist, yoga teacher and and a doting cat mom. I'm gonna reach out to her. She lives in Los Angeles or she could come on here herself. She's on Instagram at Clara mud, clara M or Clara. I would Clara mud drop. Okay, so let's read a bumble story and then I'm gonna see if I could interview.

Speaker 1: 2:10

I had recently finished grad school and was ready to dive into the dating theme. Oh come, day is near from that. So I downloaded bumble, the dating app where women make the first move, don't we always really in reality, I know I did okay. After swiping for a few days, I started chatting with the match. He had green eyes and short curly hair, thin frame and a jagged tooth Mega watt smile. He wasn't the most handsome guy on the app, but he was attractive enough, being the anxiously what's this being the anxiously attached type.

Speaker 1: 2:52

I quickly found his public social media profiles and Began waiting. Through posts on Instagram, he presented himself to be an outgoing Gregorious dude with lots of friends, all green lights. He seemed to love filming himself talking to strangers and he'd proudly stand in public places with a big cardboard, simon, proclaiming free hugs. Okay, girl, that would have been a red flag right there, right for me, because, no, I don't want anybody who's given free hugs the way to be hugging me. In the mix. I noticed that a pretty blonde girl had tagged him in a group photos, but I wasn't concerned See second red flag.

Speaker 1: 3:34

We made tentative plans to hang out. Ever on the day we were supposed to meet, he texted me Something had come up and he couldn't make it. Red flag number three being the anacle sleuth that I am, I opened Instagram to view most recent story and saw that he was having a lazy afternoon with a friend while getting pizza at Maud in Culver City. Red light, she's better than I would be. I called him out on it. I'm sorry, I just got so nervous on first dates, he said. I took him at his word and agreed to meet up with him the following day.

Speaker 1: 4:12

Despite my intuition, we hung out a few times and I began opening up to him. I invited him to join me at a friend's weekend party in the Pacific Palisades. I wanted to gauge how he'd behave in a group setting At the party. He was loud and obnoxious. Oh God, my second husband. He was loud, always loud. Probably still is obnoxious, I'm not so sure, but loud, trying to be the center of attention. Okay, there you go. Right there I'm filming himself, interviewing the guy working the taco stand at the party. I rolled my eyes, but my friends see, mildly entertained, this would be another red flag.

Speaker 1: 4:59

The next day he was over at my place and we made out on my couch. Oh, he stepped away to the bathroom and I glanced at the iPhone that had fallen out of his pocket. He was blowing up with text. Caitlin was messaging him, sending him lots of emojis, expletives and punctuation marks. It was the same girl I had noticed from his tag photos and it seemed like she was angry. Oh, looks like Caitlin is trying to get ahold of you. I said. We walked out the bathroom. He goes. Yes, you need to leave. I told him. His face fell. What floor did it fall to? You don't know anything. She could just be a friend, he said. Nevertheless, he grabbed his phone, wallet and keys and closed the door behind him. Red light.

Speaker 1: 5:43

Convinced that I wasn't the only one who was misleading, I sent Caitlin a message. She replied almost instantly, asked to talk over FaceTime. She was an actor from Australia and I could see why he liked her. She had shiny blonde hair, bright blue eyes, razor sharp cheekbones and straight white teeth. I glanced at my own curly brown hair and hazed the lies in the camera. Okay, she was warm and affirming who does this guy think he is? She said with a thick orcy accent. I've had better, I've had worse. He's boring and bland and thoroughly unoriginal. I agreed. You took him to the Palisades party, she asked. It turns out that he'd been texting Caitlin the entire evening and he even sent her the video we recorded at the party. I blocked his number right away. Smart.

Speaker 1: 6:39

Over the next week he continued to text Caitlin and we had a few laughs by stringing him along. She sent me screenshots of their correspondent. He sent a photo of a golden retriever. Isn't she cute, retriever? Yes, she's cute. So am I. So is my friend Claire, and Caitlin replied. He sent a tearful emoji. Gross was her response. He seemed to be a masochist, reaching out to be insulted again and again.

Speaker 1: 7:10

Caitlin had been planning to take him on a weekend trip to Solvang, the small Danish style town north of Santa Barbara. Rather than call the trip off. She invited me to take his place and I accepted. She picked up, picked me up in her red Mazda Miata and we headed up the coast with the top town. We walked around the quaint town exploring timber frames, storefronts and windmills. With that's roots, we joined a group tour of local wineries and shared the story of how we met. Everyone got a kick out of the tail to friendship over fucking boys. We toasted she didn't put fucking, but I can say it Okay. The sun was shining and our hearts were full as we swiped Rose and petted dogs and horses along the way. We also visited Ostrich land, usa, giggling as we took turns holding out plans, pans of food for eager Amos.

Speaker 1: 8:05

In Ostrich Amos, we took lots of cute pictures and posted them on Instagram. His account had been gone quiet, but he was out there lurking. In the years since our weekend getaway, we have each cross paths with him. We ignore him and act as if we don't see him because he's already squandered enough of our attention. Searching his names today shows that he hasn't changed much. He's still out there holding up the cringy free truck.

Speaker 1: 8:33

Three hugs signed in public places, including the Santa Monica Pier oh, I'd love to meet that guy and tell him what I think. Hmm, over the years, caitlin and I have remained supportive of one another. I didn't find the relationship I was looking for, but Bumble helped me make a new friend. Oh, I love that. I've got to send my thing about how I met Ed at the bank, so I'm going to reach out to her. So what do you all think? I mean, I love this, love this article that they put in the Sunday LA Times. And, claire, you did the right thing and it's so good that you have a girlfriend, that you met, that you were both dating. This Should I even say sleazebag, free hugs.

Speaker 1: 9:21

It reminds me of the story when I was single which time I was single 70, 9, 80 in between boyfriend and husband and I was driving on the freeway and he had this sign he holds up. He was so cute, of course, I responded to that, so we got each other's number. He called me, we went out on a date. He picked me up at my apartment in Los Feliz, by the way, which was $250 a month back in 1980. How did I get so lucky? How could I ever leave that apartment? Was I nuts? Yes, anyway, he told me this story.

Speaker 1: 9:58

He was the assistant district attorney in LA and he was working on the hillside strangler murders before they picked the guy up. And so he told me that my apartment was unsafe because all I had to do I had this little like lock, the old fashioned lock from the apartments in the 20s and 30s, the beautiful apartments in Normandy style apartments and he said the lock I had was anybody could break in. So, of course, immediately after that, and he's investigating, they're investigating who was the hillside strangler him and his cousin killing people. He said, oh, and then he had to take me. His dates were all the people that he had ever investigated, arrested, tried, the hillside stranglers coming from Glendale, the route to kill people. So he took me on. He would sightseeing with a hillside strangler and picked up the women driving from Glendale on Los Vielas, coming down Western Avenue, going on to like sunset where the ladies of the night sidewalk princesses were, and that's how he met a lot of these people. Oh God, did I ever date a person like that? Yes, and he had the sign you're cute. Well, okay, anyway, I've dated a few people now that I'm remembering that story, oh my God.

Speaker 1: 11:29

And of course, in the in between the second husband and the third husband. I was on matchcom and matchmakercom and you know I dated a whole, the last person I real well, now, that wasn't the last person, I'm just thinking. I dated this guy who, before I met my husband, he was like he had Tourette syndrome and I didn't know that. How could I not know when he was saying fuck fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, bitch, bitch, bitch, bitch. I'm sorry, people with Tourette syndrome, but this guy was mean, he would like bite my tongue and hurt me. So I was like, oh he beg. So that was an experience, to say the least, and I broke up with him on the phone. I left his message machine. I'm sorry, but I don't think we had a date that night. I'm sorry, but I don't think you're the right type of person for me. So thank you very much.

Speaker 1: 12:26

Have a good life. You know, find the girl that wanted to marry you. It wanted to have kids that you didn't want to have kids with, and enjoy your life with her, okay. So there you go. Whatever his name was, his family owned a children's furniture company, which is still on Ventura Boulevard, by the way.

Speaker 1: 12:47

I went and I go eat at Maria's Italian kitchen. It's right across the street. You know these LA type guys. And before that, of course, I dated the younger guy about a year before, a lot younger than me. Like the last really younger guy I have dated, I was 53 and he was 26. So that tells you something, right there? Whoo, whoo, whoo Anyway. So I just thought I would read this because I love it, and I'm going to reach out to this gal. Perhaps she'll want to come on my podcast with me and talk about her experience, because she's a very interesting gal. Okay, so I'm going to reach out to her on Instagram and if no one told you they love you today, then I love you because you're you and I love you, no matter what. Bye, bye.