Twilight Reflections: Embracing Authenticity and Aging with Grace from Tracy Chapman to Dementia's Challenge

When the sun sets on a fulfilling career, what's left in the afterglow? My husband's journey into retirement has been a stark contrast to the bustling days of his financial planning career, and as the fog of dementia begins drawing in, we find ourselves navigating a sea of change. This episode is a window into the emotional landscape of our evolving relationship and the resilience required when the person you love starts to slip away into the shadows of memory loss. Yet, it's not all about the twilight of life; we also celebrate the brilliance of living authentically, inspired by LZ Granderson's reflection on Tracy Chapman's profound Grammy performance with Luke Combs. Chapman's graceful aging and unwavering integrity set the stage for a conversation about the beauty of growing older with dignity.

Amidst the glitz of the entertainment industry, the pressure to preserve one's youth can be suffocating. This episode peers behind the curtain at the paradox of yearning for longevity while wrestling with the desire to conceal its natural markers. We'll explore the potency of authenticity as we resonate with Chapman's legacy and the way it encourages us to embrace our true selves, regardless of age or the judgment we might face. As we celebrate the diversity of life's tapestry with Tracy Chapman's impact on the LGBTQ+ community at heart, this narrative is an embrace—reassuring you that being genuine is not just brave, but beautiful. Join us for an uplifting discourse that champions the courage to stand firm in one's identity and the shared experience of growing older with grace.

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:03

I love you Morning bitches and dolls, and no one told you they love you today. Then I love you because you're you and I love you. It's tic tac buddy. Second day, second day of being on my podcast. Let me have a sip of my coffee right now. All right, now let's talk about something that I just read in the times by the incredible LZ Granderton, and I'm going to read it in a minute. But I just want to talk about what it's like to live with someone who has the beginning of dementia. Well, it ain't pretty. I'm just going to tell you the truth. It is not a pretty thing because they are around the house all the time now. Before we had our separate careers, I still have my career, if you want to call it that. Actor personality, tic tac influenza. I'm here Doing my podcast, my morning bitches, social media, influenza All in one little body at the age of 76 years old.

Speaker 1: 1:27

That, that, that, all that. So he sits in the other room sitting on the couch on his ass, hoping and praying that his former company, who shall remain nameless, will take him back, even though they let him go, and I mean, he retired, but they let him go. And as I looked on the retirement stuff, it said they let him basically kicked him to the curb. What is that like for somebody who's worked all of their life in different? Well, he's done the same thing. My husband, he's a financial planner. So he he's sitting waiting for somebody maybe to hire him again, or he's hoping to work as an independent agent or something like that. So what is it like? Well, sometimes you remember, some days are better than others. His mind is too scattered and he doesn't remember everything and anything. So that's the way it is right now. Ok, so that's my story and I'm sticking to it. Ok, so let's read about. Tracy Chapman's. Gray air shows a life of authenticity by LZ Grandison.

Speaker 1: 2:50

Sunday's duet between Tracy Chapman and Luke Combs at the Grammys brought us one of those rare moments in today's America in which appreciation was louder than criticism. From the illuminating joy on her face to the admiration on his, we were once again reminded of music's undeniable ability to turn strangers, generations apart, into sisters and brothers, if only for a song. It has been 35 years since Chapman first performed fast car at the award show. We lived in a very different world then. For context, neither Taylor Swift nor Travis Kelsey was alive when it happened. Neither was Combs. Here's another way to measure how long ago 1989 was. Amongst the other performers that year were the incredible Whitney Houston, the amazing Luther Vandross and Melissa Aetheridge all queer, none openly so that at that time, george Michael, one album of the year for faith that year was out at almost 10 years later.

Speaker 1: 4:04

In the midst of all that 1980s glamour stood an unassuming newcomer, a storyteller with dark skin, little to no makeup, short locks and a guitar. Chapman never announced her sexuality. Her one-time lover, the author, alice Walker that was a pleasant surprise did that for her in 2006, but she never pretended to be anything other than the queer black woman she was. That's not intended to throw shade at the closeted members of the LGBTQ plus community who were part of that night's festivities. It's not like I was out back then either, he says. Lz said I love you. Well see, I'd love to interview you on morning bitches. I know it's not a big podcast, but I sure would like to interview you. But in order to properly give Chapman her flowers for a Sunday's performance, we must acknowledge the environment in which her story began.

Speaker 1: 5:08

The queer love in Walker's the Purple Papal was controversial when the novel was published in 1982. Reddit everything color purple I've read, seen, talked about. Oh my God. So much information. Seen it all. I've seen every one of these shows. Movies, oh God. It was controversial when the film by the same name was released in 1985 and sadly, the 2023 musical was also met with pushback, because of the love between black women on the screen, of course.

Speaker 1: 5:47

Everything like that and Chapman, who turned 60 next month, had been her authentic self, performing on stage through it all. The only noticeable difference throughout in the years have been the color of her hair, which glistened Sunday underneath the cryptocom arena's lights the jet black hair of yesteryear, now adorned with the gray she has so earned. What does it mean to age gracefully, you tell me, at 76 years old? Right? I've been trying to answer that question ever since my only child graduated from high school nearly a decade ago. On that Grammy stage, chapman provided us all an answer. It's not about accepting getting older, it's about embracing age with gratitude. That's what we witnessed in a smile during the opening moments of a performance with Combs.

Speaker 1: 6:40

Gratitude, gray hair, which I've gone back to, bleach in my hair blonde, by the way, because I had white hair often characterizes an intruder that must be removed, while wrinkles are considered deformities in the need of repair. Especially in the entertainment industry, especially in La La Land, the urge to dye our hair in an attempt to ward off other time is a temptation that can be difficult to resist. For years I gave in, not wanting to look my age, even though I've been trying to live a long and healthy life. Talk about a contradiction. Oye, vey.

Speaker 1: 7:20

And there stood Chapman, just as authentic today as she was 35 years ago when we first heard her name and listened to that song. Whitney, luther and George are no longer with us. Melissa survived cancer All reminders that life is fragile. Life is short, too short to spend pursuing what we once were or what others think we should. Be too short to sacrifice who we really are or becoming what we are meant to be.

Speaker 1: 7:53

Because Chapman was her authentic self, folk, black queer. She connected with a straight white country artist from a small town in North Carolina and together they created the most talked about moment of their industry's biggest night. They did it not by avoiding what made them different, but embracing it all. Embracing it all of it. Thank you, lc Grandison. Nobody could have said it any better than you, so I just want to thank you. Tick Tock Bubby is here living a different life now than I lived, even a year ago. A year ago, things were very different for Tick Tock Bubby and Hubby. So if I've helped you at all today in listening to this little ditty, I just wanted to tell you all that I love you, and if nobody loved you, I love you today because you are you. So be yourself. Please Be your authentic self. People may not like that. They want the vision of who they think you are.