Kick Off Your Damn Heels: How To Kick Anxiety & Live A Badass Life!

Personal Style and Embodiment to Support Anxiety with Transformational Style Coach, Carrie Montgomery

October 01, 2019 Season 2 Episode 1
Kick Off Your Damn Heels: How To Kick Anxiety & Live A Badass Life!
Personal Style and Embodiment to Support Anxiety with Transformational Style Coach, Carrie Montgomery
Chapters
Kick Off Your Damn Heels: How To Kick Anxiety & Live A Badass Life!
Personal Style and Embodiment to Support Anxiety with Transformational Style Coach, Carrie Montgomery
Oct 01, 2019 Season 2 Episode 1
Dr. Teralyn & Style Coach Carrie Montgomery
Personal Style and Embodiment with Transformational Style Coach, Carrie Montgomery
Show Notes Transcript

This episode not only kicks off my second season, but is very special to me as I have struggled with body image issues, using clothes to 'hide' myself and wanting to be visible but taking a duck and cover approach to people seeing me. 

I got the chance to interview my friend and colleague, Carrie Montgomery on this very topic that I know so many women struggle with..finding a sense of style while finding themselves.  Carrie is brilliant in her approach and has been featured in the OWN Oprah Winfrey Network, Super Soul Sunday, Coast Living and more.  She has been the stylist to many celebrities including Kate Blanchett. 

Not only does she embody what she teaches, but she is a complete badass who made some powerful changes in her own life to find health and wellness. 

CLICK HERE to Grab Carrie's Heart & Soul of Style Meditation

This is a powerful, raw conversation and one that is necessary for all women to hear.

Did you enjoy this episode?  Let us know by dropping us a comment or leaving a review!

CLICK HERE To Learn About Dr. Teralyn's Anxiety Freedom Masterclass

Contact Dr. Teralyn

Email:  DrTeralyn@DrTeralyn.com

Social Media Links

Exclusive Facebook Group

Dr. Teralyn FACEBOOK
Dr. Teralyn INSTAGRAM
Dr. Teralyn LINKEDIN

Contact Carrie Montgomery
FACEBOOK
INSTAGRAM  @stylebymonty
WEBSITE




 



Speaker 1:
0:01
Welcome to kick off your damn heels. Are you sick and tired of getting bad advice about anxiety? Does it piss you off when people talk about anxiety as something you must claim or just live with forever? All of that crappy advice ends right now. Are you ready? Because we're ready. It's time to get down and dirty and kicking anxiety to the curb so you can live a badass life. Welcome to the podcast with guts. And now here's your host, Dr Tara Lynn
Speaker 2:
0:37
[inaudible].
Speaker 3:
0:40
Hello everyone. I am so happy to be back for season two of kickoff your damn heels. And with that I have a colleague of mine who I think is just a beautiful individual. Her name is Carrie Montgomery and I'm going to do your official Bio Carrie, and then we're going to get really unofficial on this cause I'm super excited to have you here. All Right, so Carrie Montgomery is a transformational style coach, body image expert and creator of the somatic dressing method, which helps women step into true embodiment and empowered confidence. She teaches women to own their true, true beauty, build competence, and create a dream image. For their business in life. Having worked with new line cinema and stars such as Kate Blanchet and Aaron Eckert, her expertise in film design, marketing and wellness along with your love of fashion, allows her to create a holistic experience for personal style.
Speaker 3:
1:41
She curates her clients image, helping women look good and feel good from the inside out. This newfound confidence carries over to her client's brands elevating their visibility and taking many of them from six figures to seven figures in as little as one year. Her work has been featured on own, the Oprah Winfrey network, super soul Sunday with Christian Northrup, coastal living, old port magazine and Hay House. You can connect with her at Carrie Montgomery, get.com no worries. All of her connection information is going to be in the show notes. Welcome, Carrie, you've got a big bio girl. I had no idea. Yeah, I got super lucky. I'm Scott. Super Aligned in and everything worked out really well, so yeah, both. It was also years of like, you know, different careers to to pull it all together. Yes, absolutely. Well, let's get started. I want to know what, how you work with women that aligns them with clothing and in style, because that's not just what you wear on the outside. It's inside and outside and all around. And from somebody like me that struggles with that, I am super excited to pick your brain. Yeah, absolutely. It's my, and thank
Speaker 4:
3:00
you so much for having me. And hello everyone. Hello. So I, um, I really, I love to transform women, so I'd love to change how women feel in their bodies. And one way to do that is put on a new article of clothing. But that is how culturally we're trained to put like get changed. The outfit, you'll feel different and that's definitely true, but there's some whole internal process that has to be come to consciousness about who you are, how you feel in your body, how you treat your body, what the energy is like in your body, maybe what your press traumas are, what stories you're telling yourself. So He created a system, a body mapping technique to help you go step by step through that process to break it down so that it's not all colluded together and like one big mess. Cause you know when you have like, I'm going to just like you, if you've ever had an anxiety attack, right?
Speaker 4:
3:54
You feel panic, terror. It's a false sense of fear. It could be a real fear, but usually it's a false sense of fear building up and up and up on that. And it's clustered with energy and emotions and a story. But when you're in it, you have no idea what's going on. It's really hard to break it down. So I've gone through enough health experiences to start to learn how to separate parts of my body out and start to piece my story together and understand how I was actually putting on clothing. And it, it, it was a beautiful collaboration between my own healing experience and the woman that I was supporting at the time just showed up in a way that they needed similar support around body image, body dysmorphia, um, just feeling overweight and actually not being overweight or being underweight and malnourished or just not feeling confident in their skin.
Speaker 4:
4:51
So there's, I created a technique to adorn clothing so that it supports yourself, your body, so it supports how you feel in your body with a conscious, um, a conscious way of being, you know, you understand how you're feeling, so you know what, uh, what fabric to choose and what shaped the clothing should be very different than I'm an apple shape body and I need to wear this specific cut of clothing so that, you know, I look good, I can all my rules and I, yeah, right. Cause so the society can say that I look skinnier and it's like you may not feel like doing that. You may need a really long flowing dress cause your body's so exhausted. You just need to release all that energy. That's a really interesting way to look at it because clothes have always been functional for me, like hiding for me or um, I don't know. Like I, I've never been able to like attach myself to clothes that I can feel really awesome in. And I'm guessing that a lot of my, the women who are listening to this feel the same way when you talk about anxiety and things like that, like
Speaker 3:
5:58
this, you're speaking our language in here and I think we overlook the importance of not just clothes, but you know, how, how we feel in our own bodies as being like the most important thing. Yes.
Speaker 4:
6:13
So actually I was going to ask you, when do you feel good in your body?
Speaker 3:
6:18
[inaudible] never. It's a hard one to answer, right? Yeah. No, it's not hard. It's never like I, I don't know that there's not a time that I don't think about being uncomfortable in my body right now.
Speaker 4:
6:33
Like either your size or your shape or how a certain part of your body touches another part of your body. Like, I know that when I was 30 pounds overweight, which is about 50 pounds heavier than I am now, I, I, there was a certain role in my stomach and I, I literally wanted to vomit every day cause the feeling felt so awful. But I started to learn how to put clothing on to create a little bit of a separation that empowered the lower part of my body so I could find support. Now I made it look like a little more rotund. Guess what? I was Margo Times, like I was definitely more round and then I could actually wear a shirt that would flow over that so that it maybe gave me look like made me look a little bit bigger. But I felt a sense of ease from the silkiness and the flow or the relaxed feeling of the shirt. I didn't feel like I was being squeezed into something. But I have really a nice support from the height of my pants. Right. And coming up to that point where the roll meets. And I don't, sometimes I look at women and they may have a tummy roll, but they're wearing low rise jeans, right? And I just want to say, honey, you know what? Buy your jeans like a couple size too big, right? Then have them taken in at the waist so that you have something that's like more secure, but it gets around your hips,
Speaker 3:
7:54
right? So listen, this is something like getting some clothing, tailored objects.
Speaker 4:
8:00
It number one game in style,
Speaker 3:
8:01
right? But nobody talks about that. Really like sad that, I mean I do, but [inaudible] I
Speaker 4:
8:08
like those. Was your friends, your teams. So, so here, here's the problem and the reason why it's not talked about and why it's a dying industry. The Industrial Revolution preindustrial revolution. Women had maybe one to five outfits and sort of like are your average woman, right? You're wealthier women. They had so much picture, we don't even know. Right? But you look at the everyday woman and she had three to five or one to five outfits made for them. Custom made for them every year or every couple of years until they wore out. So they have pristine care of their clothing. They had high, high, high quality fabric because it had to last, the seamstresses knew their bodies inside and out because they had to fit in a way that was bit per society, meaning it covered every little speck of their body so that they weren't quote unquote inappropriate. Right.
Speaker 4:
9:04
And then you get into industrial revolution. Then we'd have, you know, a couple of different evolutions of that. I think we're like, we're in the third or fourth right now and fast fashion has taken over. It's like get that one piece of clothing, cover up your body, get it out the door. Okay. It was only good for two wears and then it's done. So no one wants to tailor fast fashion. Right. It doesn't make sense cause you're, it's not gonna last long enough. Right. And if you look at just a little bit higher quality of clothing, you're gonna spend a little bit more, but you're going to get like 10 times more the wear out of it. Even more than that. 10 Times, um, and you're going to custom the fit to your body so that it's more comfortable for you and you're not having to deal with the baggy shirt, right?
Speaker 4:
9:50
The thing that is putting on 10 extra pounds on you because it's not fitting your body. Right. And it's, I mean, I get jeans, I buy jeans a little bit too big and cause I have like a, you know, cameltoe I get cameltoe really easily because it's just the length from my belly button to my pubic bone and there's a little extra cushion there. And I became anorexic because of my, my cushion. I was like, I don't want to see that anymore. So I lost, you know, a ton of weight. Um, get rid of the weight, which never worked anyway. It doesn't work. It, I was like, oh my life has changed. But it didn't. My, my, my psychology was beyond messed up and my, everything was invested in how I looked and nothing was in how I felt. Right. But when I gained the weight back, I was much healthier. Um, some of my medical issues started to self-repair cause I had actually fat in my body, but I had to, I realized that I didn't fit into my jeans the way I liked anymore. So I started buying bigger jeans and then when have them taken in at the waist,
Speaker 3:
10:54
not blackberry, not being afraid of the size. Cause I think we get so wrapped up in the size, but that doesn't matter because you're tailoring it to fit you anyway.
Speaker 4:
11:04
Yeah. The sizing system is so different. I mean clothes are made to fit everyone not to fit you specifically. Right. And so having your own bio individuality and your own bio individual style can be really challenging. And this time, because there's so many people can wear the same thing and it looks different on everyone and that works on one person, it doesn't work on another. So it can be a little bit disheartening. And um, and I mean, yeah, I can just break your heart because you're like, I don't fit in or I don't look right. I'm, my body is not right. It doesn't work. And sizing was created so that way they could mass produce clothing. [inaudible]
Speaker 3:
11:47
and I think so about 10 years ago, I had lost almost a hundred pounds. And, um, it, it wasn't enough. I mean, it was enough, but for me it wasn't enough. Right. Um, and I was wearing cute clothes and all these things, but inside all I had was fear that these clothes weren't gonna fit me anymore. You know, like, so you start thinking about all the fear around clothes. Like, I'm finally in this, oh no, I can't button them anymore. What am I going to do? I gotta eat less clothes. You know? And it was, it was a whole, it was a whole thing that was psychologically damning. And so you think like, you lose all this weight and you still don't know how to buy clothes, and then you're sitting in fear because you buy clothes and now they're not fitting and right.
Speaker 4:
12:43
[inaudible] the law of attraction. Um, and how, when our thoughts are focused on one area, fear based, I'm going to gain weight or I need to buy more clothes, that's what's going to happen.
Speaker 3:
12:54
Right?
Speaker 4:
12:56
You manifest that, you draw yourself to that. So when I created the somatic dressing method, the question is every single morning, what does my body need to be as effective and powerful as possible? That reframe alone can strip away fear because you go in and you say, okay, how do I, you lay in your bed was you wake up like I w do, I'm doing a body scan. Okay, my head's a little achy. My neck hurts. My back is like, oh, so funky. I'm sore, I'm tired. Oh, I have a belly ache. Okay, I'm good. No, my legs are sore. Yeah. I mean this is my daily because I, I live with chronic pain and it's something that I've had since I was about 18 years old since I had a spinal fusion. And, um, when you, when you look at your body from just a, how do I support it?
Speaker 4:
13:46
Way You take away the fear because you go into positive problem solving mode, you go into what does it mean to be effective? What does it need to be powerful? What energy needs to be released in my body? Okay. If I'm thinking released, then I need to wear something slowly. If I have a lot of fear, I made to re reinforce and build some structure around my body so I can hold myself up or I might need to do the contrast of like a little bit of flow and a little bit of structure and that's where you get into layering and that becomes really fun.
Speaker 3:
14:18
Yeah. Well I think about this as you're, as you're talking, like sometimes I'd go through several different outfits before I settle in on the one that I feel okay with for the day, like the night before, I might think, oh, I'll just throw this on tomorrow, but that's not good enough. In the morning, like in [inaudible], I don't really feel like this today, you know what I mean? Um, so I, I like that idea of, cause I always tell my clients like, pay attention to your body but not so much in like how can you support it structurally as well when you're, when you're feeling anxious. Well, you, things like a weighted blankets are kind of a big deal nowadays. Like, so that a way to blanket PR provides that pressure, that support that like a little kid might need if they're, you know, unraveling. Right. So what about a woman who feels unraveled inside? Might need some extra support on the outside to feel more calm and centered. You know,
Speaker 4:
15:16
so that's like my great reframe on the power Spanx, right? Yeah. Thanks. Our are not just to make you be skinnier. They're a container for support for your body cause you need a little extra support that day. Interesting. It's not like the idea of trying to change your sized to fit into anything is delusional. Right? It's, it's, it's society's impulses like seeping into our brains. Right. And when we look at like, okay, my body feels this way, I feel scared. I'm nervous. I don't know what's going to happen. I have to do a big presentation. You Go, okay, I need a little support here. I need a little extra support. Great. That means I'm going to throw on my, I use a bodysuit spanx. So it's not like your typical to the thighs eye. I've super skinny legs, so it's not something I've ever needed really.
Speaker 4:
16:11
I tried it here and there when I had gained a lot of weight. It felt really uncomfortable for me. But I made this lace bodysuit, which is like one of the sexiest things that I've ever worn and it's made by sense banks and I use it as like a layering for dresses. If I like have to go do a presentation or something or go to an event and I feel a little nervous about it, I will wear my spanx body suit that's sexy and elegant and I will throw on my badass leopard print Jess with has a ton of flow and some great slips up the side and I'll rock my moto boots. Right? So I'm going to create some, I'm going to create the edge that's happening, but I'm going to give it a stylistic flair. Not a messy insecure. I didn't know how to wear my underwear today.
Speaker 3:
16:59
Yeah. And my would be me. Yes.
Speaker 4:
17:07
If it's a meditative practice, it's such a different experience
Speaker 3:
17:11
I think about what you're saying. And so when I give presentations, I'm kind of the opposite. Like I feel like I want to be loose and free. So I tend, I tend to wear dresses because it just feels more free to me. You know? Like I want to be relaxed, you know? Okay.
Speaker 4:
17:28
Bio individual style. Yeah. That's your physical choice. And for someone to say that you and I grew up wearing uniforms to school, so I was told what to wear and I learned how to break the rules of the uniform to have my own individuality and that you did. But the fact that like professions, corporate professions tell you what to wear and how to be conformed to their system can be really infuriating. Right? It's like, no, I actually want to wear something a little different. So I teach women how to work around the structure that they're given and then step into what they want. And it might be a little bit quote unquote inappropriate, but we have pushed the bounds of style at this point and, and a lot of, a lot, a lot. And most of my, you know, the people that still have to wear suits are mostly in the banking industry. So I don't, I don't deal with many of those anymore.
Speaker 3:
18:21
Well, I had a, um, someone who was kind of a stylist, like an image person and, and uh, she wanted me to have my, and she called it your uniform, um, that even if you were in the grocery store, you'd be in your uniform or whatever and all put together. I look fine like every time. And I'm like, that is just, that is not me at all. Like if I run into somebody and I'm in a pair of yoga pants and a tee shirt, yeah, I don't care. I don't care. I'm like, Yep, I'm busy today. Like I'm doing my thing. You know what I mean? Um, so I was so turned off by even the language around that, like, find your uniform and I'm like, find your box. And I'm like, I don't want a box. I don't want just one thing, you know, I want to feel free wherever I am and confident in whatever I'm wearing, whether it's a pair of sweats and a shirt or you know, a dress. I don't, you know, so I, I was, I was pretty off put by that because I'm like, that doesn't help me uncover who I am, you know, and how, how I feel in, in my clothes. Cause yeah, body stuff is plagued me forever, you know.
Speaker 4:
19:38
Well yeah. And that's why I started doing what I teach now. I was, you know, styling photo shoots and you know, my, originally I was in the film industry and then left that to sales and marketing and got back into styling and I, I saw these incredible healers, speakers, authors, people that, you know, I, they're not mentioned in my bio but they are, they have been all over the world teaching and doing photo shoots for them and seeing some really severe body image issues. And I'm going, yeah, this person is like a world renowned healer.
Speaker 4:
20:15
They have like TV shows and like what's going on? And, and, and all of a sudden I was like, there is a major issue here and it's about being okay with where you are and learning to accept where your body is now because you can't really create your true desires when you don't accept the here and now because you can't live into passion when you're fighting the present. Right? So this is a spiritually sound styling system or a spiritual styling system, and it's really about finding that peace inside the body so that we can learn to adorn and empower our bodies on a daily basis. I do one of the word adorn, by the way. I know it's a great word. I love that word. It's not often understood, but that's okay. Um, the other thing though that really comes up as you were telling me this sort of uniform thing is identity is a huge part of style.
Speaker 4:
21:16
And you choose to wear flowers. I choose to wear leather and lace, right? I rarely wear flowers. I have one floral dress and it's an only sometimes occasion and it's really low cut. And I don't wear a bra with it. You know, like there's a whole thing around how I wear it, but it's, um, it's really like identity is at the core of who you are and if you have any confusion about your identity, it is really hard to show up. It's really hard to come out and perform. And I've been on this transition lately, so my, the archetyping system style archetypes that I created, I, um, originally was a Boho warrior and when I moved to Spain, I could see this, like, she got us coming in and I'm like, oh, like, oh, I'm totally thought I was going to be like Miss Bohemian girl living in a beats, uh, doing all the spiritual stuff.
Speaker 4:
22:15
And all of a sudden like this super chic like, um, simplified like nothing too flairy nothing too frilly, really like streamlines, well, I lost 20 pounds naturally. Like just by honoring that side of myself, but I am energetically stepping into this place of, of flow, right? And I'm being more conscious of that, whereas my Boho warrior was like, I had deprived my nomad, which I grew up all over the world with my family. So I'm used to traveling and it's part of my identity. But because of my illnesses, I had stopped traveling. It was really hard for me to travel because I have reactions on, on planes. So when, um, when I woke up to realizing that my nomad had sort of my inner nomad, that Bohemian girl had sort of died, I was like, we gotta activate this because it's, it's, I'm not living into a true part of myself and my warrior, my fighter, my discipline's like go get them was just so active and it was creating inflammation in my body.
Speaker 4:
23:22
So I'm telling the wellness story of my identity. But prior to that, I was a goddamn chameleon rollercoaster, like tumbleweed who show up. Anyway, whatever the event was going to be, I could project myself into what would look appropriate and I would feel so out of place all the time. Right. [inaudible] felt that Carrie felt that yes, this is the way into your style archetype. You live into your soul's truth, but embodied, because we're gonna create an aesthetic around it. Right there. There's going to be a little bit of an edge. And you know, some of my clients, they're like, you know, people are sort of turning their head at me and it was, I am a little bit more dressed up and I go, well, how does that make you feel? And you're like, she goes, well, I kind of, I kinda don't mind. Like I'm doing what I need to do in my life to get to where I need to go.
Speaker 4:
24:20
I'm creating an amazing company and this is the, this is part of the, the path to success for me. And this is the refinement that I needed and I'm having the confidence now to do that. But for her to live into that success, she did have two, she was, her whole entire wardrobe was secondhand prior to this moment. And so she'd never gone out and bought clothes by her own choice or she'd gone to like, you know, a thrift store or something. Everything was secondhand. She didn't have the personal value of being worth buying new clothes. And right off the bat when she first started shopping, she went to fast fashion and I was like, that is not going to serve you for the things that you need at this point. And the magical trick for her was, was rent the runway so she doesn't have to invest a lot in clothing.
Speaker 4:
25:06
She's a monthly membership and she can just exchange, exchange, exchange. And in the process you can buy pieces at a very discounted rate through them because they'd been used and she's tried them and she loves them. So she knows she's going to continue to wear them. And it's up-leveled her whole entire vibe, right? Her energy and her image, that is your vibe and energy and image. So the style archetype is who you are and where you're going. So my Boho warrior was, you know, my warrior was super activated. My Bohemian needed to be activated. I landed in a pizza and I started to feel this more goddess like thing coming forward. And I was like, okay, might not be like the flowy goddess dress person all the time. But this sheepness that I have has a goddess like energy to it. And how I'm present in my body has more of a goddess like energy to it.
Speaker 4:
26:04
And when I'm off track from that, I know that I'm out of alignment. And so my whole goal is to get back into alignment because it's a guide to where I, I am going. So this is, this is amazing. The work that you do is incredible. And I wish I knew you years ago. Now I know you now never too late. That's right. I kind of, okay, so, but this, this work wasn't born years ago, right? Neither was mine. You know what I mean? We're all in this place because we're in this place right now. Um, so
Speaker 3:
26:44
you have fascinating story that I wanted you to share, if you would, about how you got to Spain. Because I, I talk to women all the time that have, um, health and issues, mental health issues, whatever. And like you, although you made a bigger change than I did, like I made a tremendous change just to change my life around. Right? Like it, it wasn't a, you know, and, and so I tell people, if you, if you want to work with me, plan and making some big changes because it's, it's not all about just do this small thing and stay put in, stay doing what you're doing, that's not going to serve you. So your story is fascinating. If you would mind sharing how you got to Spain.
Speaker 4:
27:25
Yeah. So, um, I have, gosh, like I'll go back a little bit so I'll give some some context. Um, when I left corporate, um, my corporate life, I actually lost my job because I, I developed a neurological condition and I started having episodic paralysis. So I'd be walking down the street in New York City and then I fully collapsed and I wouldn't gain composure in my body for like six to eight hours. So it was scary. I was afraid to leave my home. Um, you know, I, I spent three months trying to sort of manage it and then I finally called my parents and I was like, I need to come to Maine. I need to find some peace. Like, this is way too scary for me. And um, I was really fortunate I owned a car living in New York City, so I was able to kind of, it's e I know it's such a weird thing, but I was because I was an outside sales rep, I had to have a car.
Speaker 4:
28:22
Yeah. So, um, I taught doctors nutrition and lifestyle protocols to reverse chronic illness. So I had all the people in my world to help me heal and I was getting sicker and sicker and sicker and the stress load was so high to perform in New York and it was completely against my Bohemian nature to live in New York City. And I was just not, I mean, I was out of alignment beyond, and I was reaching for that. Well, when I have a husband, when I have kids, when I have more money, everything will be better. But I just have to keep going until I, I'll find happiness then. [inaudible] and I already know that that wasn't the answer, but I couldn't break the pattern because the system around me was so focused on that. So it was like I had to get the Louis Vuitton bag to feel like I could be a part of this group over here.
Speaker 4:
29:09
I had to get this wallet to be a part of like when I pull out my money money. That whole weird proving yourself through brands thing. Yeah, it was very, it's very demoralizing right now. I'm like, don't give me a label. I don't want anyone to know what I'm wearing. I find myself very like on the DL. Yes. Um, so when I, um, I moved to my family's place, uh, in Maine in this two little town Kennebunkport and I spent about two years living with them and I tried to keep up a little bit of life in New York. So I was doing another coaching training. I'd already been a certified health coach and would work with doctors and their patients to reverse chronic illness. Um, and I've been doing that for about five years. And when I, um, when I, I got another coaching certification, I did Mama Jean the school for womanly arts and I took B school.
Speaker 4:
29:59
So I had this like year of like, let's rebrand Carrie and like come out strong. And at the end of that year I almost died. And I was like, oh my God. And I have put a lot of weight and like moving to Maine, getting healthy, finding a guy and getting married and having kids like that was sort of my, I'm just going to be a mom. And I'm like, yeah, I was still in the check box, right? I'd left New York City, but I'm still in the checkbox. Like this will make me worthy if I have x, Y, z. And um, and that moment that I almost died, it was my 13th surgery over 20 years. And they said to me, Carrie, you will not live another day if we don't take your uterus out. And I had been hemorrhaging for three days and I had like, my red blood cell was like four or something.
Speaker 4:
30:48
It was ridiculous. And they had already done a bunch of blood transfusions and they just said, we can't, we actually legally can't keep doing this. You need to make a choice. So I had to make the choice to save my life and lose my ability to give life. And that was a really devastating experience for me because, well, I'd already done 10 surgeries on my uterus or nine surgeries on my uterus and the 10th one was to have it removed, but I had been over 20 years trying to repair it. Prior to that, I tried to keep that dream alive. Yeah. Like come on my, my doctor, when I was, I had a spinal fusion when I was 18, I broke my back. And so, um, you know, my body story is pretty expansive. Like it's, this is sort of the, the rifts of it.
Speaker 4:
31:34
One day when the book comes out, everyone will know exactly what that will, they'll know the psychology of it more so than how, um, because that part is, you know, the psychology of health and wellbeing. That's a really long conversation when it comes to chronic illness. Um, it is so, so I'd already had that and I had a couple of tumors removed, a couple of surgeries, and then I had Lyme disease. So I had things put in my heart to like keep my, get my medicine and all these things. And it was like Kinda girl, just be healthy.
Speaker 4:
32:08
And I re I lived a pretty like, you know, I wasn't a big partier. Like I just sort of like lived a pretty trunkey low life. And um, yes I was in stressful positions. 10 Years in New York will definitely give you some stress. Um, but I in that moment of like coming out of recovery, I, that is how he created this technique. I became conscious of somatic dressing because Justin was the only thing I could do besides breathing. Eating was still pretty hard. Um, little things like everyday things were pretty damn hard to do and you know, I gained some weight and then I lost weight after the hysterectomy cause I, I was struggling putting food in my mouth and um, and like how do you give life to this body that it's been through so much and you know, plus the neurological stuff. So you think of all the layering.
Speaker 4:
33:05
When, when I got like I got into a relationship and I got a little bit dependent on him for my happiness and my security, but it didn't really fulfill me. And so I left him and I got into an apartment and for nine months in Maine, outside of, in Portland, Maine. And I was like, okay, I had a little dog. We're just going to live in this apartment. I'm going to work on my business and Dah, Dah, Dah, Dah. No, everything's going gonna work out great. And about four, three, four months into living in that apartment, an ex of mine called me and he was like, Hey, I really love for you to come to a pizza. Um, I was like, Oh God, like it's just not in the cards right now because it's really just not in the parts. I got so much on my plate and you know, just left this person and I'm like, just trying to get grounded and he's like engineered a vacation. So comments on me, like just come. And I was like, okay. So I went for my birthday and within and I found a yoga retreat for like 200 euros. It was so weird. It was like this beautiful estate and it was packed. Like it was a full retreat. So she gave me a day pass. So I just did the day classes. It was amazing. A week of that and I did a quantum healing and I was in this quantum healing and like it was so clear. The next phase of your healing is when you moved to Spain.
Speaker 5:
34:26
Jesus, come on. I just moved into a new law court, man, I'm all settled. It's like, no, you're not to move.
Speaker 4:
34:37
It was so loud and every year prior to that I didn't want to be in Maine because it was so cold. So every year I tried to go to New Mexico where I'd lived before to southern California where I'd lived before. I had community in those areas and I was like, let me just go and like get myself embedded in there to get through the cold. And every year it didn't work. One year I tried to go to Taloon like nothing worked out and it was just like last minute explosions always. And I was like, okay fine. I'm just going to put my head down, stay in Maine, I get home from Maine. Everyone in Spain was like, why are you leaving? And I'm like, I have a dog and he's to pick her up. Like I got to get a visa, the whole process. So I came home and within three months, um, it just so happened that my rent, my lease was only for nine months.
Speaker 4:
35:20
They said you can sign an 18 month lease or a nine month lease. And I was like, I'm pretty good with nine months. Like that's about as much commitment as I could make. And so my lease was up, um, I had let go of the apartment. I hadn't gotten the visa yet. I'd already booked my ticket for October, end of October. And I let go my apartment and said, if I get my visa, great, if I don't, great, I'm still gonna go for three months. And then we'll see what happens. And I got my visa and so I've been here nine months and it's, this is truly about um, stepping into that faith in the universe again, right? Like I grew up believing that anything is possible, that everything is figureoutable, that you need to take risks, that you need to sort of lead yourself into your life.
Speaker 4:
36:09
But when my health took over, I started stepping back from that belief and I started hiding inside myself and was petrified and totally lost faith in the universe. And so this is part of the process of cultivating faith again and letting the world see who I am and how strong I am or where my weaknesses are or how I connect with people who loves me, who doesn't, how that works. You know, the value of connection and all the intersections. How well I do in a new environment, how well accepted I feel or if I feel rejected. When you move a lot, there's a term of like the places accepting you or rejecting you and a visa was like a red carpet. I've got a house like immediately I didn't have to do any work. I got a phone call, hey, you still looking for a place?
Speaker 4:
36:56
Yeah. Okay here, here's my friends. You can have this place. Just everything, everything, the visa, blah blah, blah, blah, blah. Every brought my dog with me. So you know, I have a new home and um, I still have to be hyper conscious of my health. I just did a month road trip and that now I'm in a little bit of like stepped back and rest the body a lot more than normal cause my legs are just not as strong as they can be or need to be to be functional. I think there's risk in stepping outside the box, but when the box is telling you get out, you know, I mean it's part of, it's part of my DNA. It, it really, my parents raised me to be this way. I mean they lived in Afghanistan and the peace corps, like they, they, they lived in Tokyo, they lived in London.
Speaker 4:
37:53
They like, they granted they did it on a bank's dime. Like it was way different experience than on mine. But still like, I mean they took the risks. They taught me how to network, they taught me how to connect with people. And um, you know, for the Times that I thought it wasn't great that I went to 20 different schools, I moved up, not that many schools. I think I went through seven schools total. Um, that, you know, I missed the longevity of some relationships, but then I know how to stimulate them again here. I really enjoyed how you talked about like clothing was the one thing that you knew
Speaker 3:
38:36
that you could use to help yourself. Right? Yeah. It was the one thing. And I think it's so important to know what that, that one thing is that brings you comfort, whether it's clothing or your favorite blanket or something. But that's, that's you like attaching to something that's important, you know, um, that feel better. So, and I started to make different choices, so I was programmed to dress, to be skinny. Right? You always want to dress to look skinnier and does my butt look big in these jeans?
Speaker 4:
39:12
Yeah. Like, and I have fairly square hips, so I can just look really like broad across the mid section. And, but when I started to look at the energy of what clothing did around getting dressed, right, like by looked at, okay, I have a insane amount of rage and my first and second Chakra is like my, like I'm going to say like my, where are my uterus used to be? There's been so much trauma in there that there is, I mean you, you get on the wrong side of me and you will experience it, right? And I used to light up that way. I have a lot of fire and I was like, oh my God, this needs to be released cause this is killing me. This is toxic. And I think that the rage really did kill my uterus and, and s and a whole other, I'm not going to go in
Speaker 3:
40:03
bunch of stuff that happened Medicaid you on again, we'll talk about that
Speaker 4:
40:08
whole medical, like a losing my whole authority of my body and reclaiming it. This is reclaiming the authority of my body, right? I completely lost the authority of my body completely. And I look to every medical professional to tell me what to do to take care of it. And honestly, they can't. They really can't. You have to get this system inside you so that you can be your guide. I mean, yes, I have mentors and spiritual advisors and people that you started to say like, challenge me on what my thought processes are. Okay. I'm feeling anxiety. Like, yes, it's in my diaphragm. Okay, let's go in and figure out what somatically is happening. But I'm on a deeper level now with that. So when I started, Nikita, sorry. So when I started to, um, to step into dressing for the energy for how, not just how I felt, but for actually energetically releasing the anger, wearing long flowing skirts, which I have been told that I was too big, too broad too, to wear that I looked too fat, right. To do that, I had too much around my belly to do that. And um, and then I'd wear kind of a big baggy sweater will only petite girls can do that. That's what we're told in fashion. And I was like, screw that. Like I, that's how I want to that like, and I want to wear some boots with it. And so I just sort of started to not give a damn. Try not to swear here.
Speaker 3:
41:41
You can swear. Okay. Hey Call, take off your damn heels. Right. [inaudible] I didn't want to give a fuck about anything. They do
Speaker 4:
41:53
not want to care what people thought about me. And I'd spent my whole life trying to manipulate my own image so that people would think things were great in my world when in all honesty, they were not, I was falling apart inside. They, I'd have days where I just couldn't get out of bed cause my body was so tanked energetically and I didn't know how to resuscitate it. I didn't know how to revive it. Now I overdo it, right? If I go for a hike and then a swim and then, you know, I kind of get too physically active. I know that I actually, because of what's happened to my body, I need to take downtime and restructure and reorganize and change my diet for a couple of days and give myself ability to repair. I have a slower repair system. I take an amazing peptide therapy that helps my body self repair. It's called the wolverine drug, but that helps me. Right. But I couldn't get on board with that stuff before because I was always fighting that I was broken. Right. But now I'm broken. I'm ready to step into like, no, there's a greater amount of success here and I'm finding the path to get there.
Speaker 3:
43:03
Right. You, you know, my brain kind of goes in different directions when I talk to people, but I was thinking about like how social media like plays a role in what we're supposed to look like or do or camera angles. Um, filters. I'm having a tough time with social media right now. E Yeah. And well, I am too. And the other day, well actually it was last week, um, I took a picture with my husband and my son and a couple other people and it was a full link, full length picture. And I hated the way that I looked in it, but, and I thought I should just crop it out. I'll just crop it out from here forward so I can look a little bit skinnier. Yeah. And I didn't, and I was like, you know what, I'm just gonna put this right out there and see what happens.
Speaker 3:
43:55
And you want to know what happened? Nothing. Nobody is a word, a bad word, a anything and nothing. I'm like, do, I don't know that people really care as much as I think they care, you know, like, and I'm so maybe I'll do a challenge of people just posting their images, their full image without filters, without crops, without, oh, I did that a couple years ago. Yeah. Yeah. Because I'm having trouble with social media right now too, because I, as you get more, uh, publicity around you, you get a little bit worried about people cl. Yeah. About how people see you. And I have to realize that I, I just need to worry about how I see myself, you know, and what I, what I want to know about me. And Yeah. So for any woman out there screw the filters or whatever, it's just real life, you know,
Speaker 4:
44:54
it is, and I'm doing less and less professional photo shoots. Like I, I wouldn't before, I wouldn't post a picture that wasn't like a professionally done picture and right. Honestly, I don't want to live my life that way. I don't want to be doing photo shoots all the time. Right. I really don't. I really don't feel like that's a glamorous way for me to exist. I think it's pretty damn exhausting actually. And I really enjoy being myself, taking a snap with an iPhone here and there. I have friends that can take a snap with an iPhone. That's all I need. That's all we need and to, to produce. Um, so over produce over production of photography in this day and age has become a source of competition, pain, anxiety, uh, discomfort for many, many people who feel like they can't keep up. Yes. And guess what? You don't need to keep up because it's a pay to play game.
Speaker 3:
45:55
Yeah. It really, it really is. This is, this is a great conversation, Carrie. I'm so glad. So thankful to have had that. And so with that, our time is up. Yeah, I can go on. I know.
Speaker 4:
46:09
No, this was so incredible. Thank you. I feel like I talked a lot, but it was so, so fun.
Speaker 3:
46:15
That's totally fine because this is what it's all about and women need to come together and talk about these hard, hard conversations and I think clothing is a hard conversation. Like it just, your body is a hard conversation, you know? Um, so I would love to have you back at some point. Um, she wants to continue. Yes. All right, so everybody, I will have curious information in the show notes. Do you want to tell them though, how they can get ahold of you if they want to [inaudible]
Speaker 4:
46:44
sure. I'm Carrie montgomery.com is a great place as a contact bar. You can see what's going on. Um, I can throw in, I have the heart of style meditation, I can give you that and you can put it in the show notes too. Awesome. That's Super Fun. That's my shotgun meditation that I take you through to get clear and like identify those areas, your body. So it's the warmup of knowing where these energy centers are in your body. When you bring conscious to them, it becomes so much more powerful in your life because we can have a little bit more understanding and style by Monty on Instagram and Facebook is, I dunno Carrie Montgomery,
Speaker 3:
47:24
what else could it be? Yeah, all that. All your contact will be in the show. So I really appreciate you coming on and everybody else. Welcome to season two, everyone take care.
Speaker 1:
47:39
Thanks for listening to kickoff your damn heels with Dr Tara Lynn. If you're wanting more bad-ass information, head over to www.kickoffyourdamnheels.com damn heals podcast is for entertainment purposes and does not replace your relationship with a primary healthcare provider or mental health professional. If you think you may have a medical or mental health emergency, call your doctor, go to the emergency department or called nine one one immediately. We are not entering into a therapeutic or physical doctor patient relationship of any kind and nothing on this podcast website or associated content should be considered medical advice. The information provided by in kickoff your at Dan heels including but not limited to audio, texts, graphics, images, and other material are for informational purposes only.
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