The Wonder Of Life

Pain: Don't avoid it

March 01, 2019 Episode 10
The Wonder Of Life
Pain: Don't avoid it
Chapters
The Wonder Of Life
Pain: Don't avoid it
Mar 01, 2019 Episode 10
Nat Rich
Learning to hand pain
Show Notes Transcript

The pain we feel can be excruciating at times but we can use that feeling to heal deep traumas that need to be released. Learning to not resist my pain was a gift from GOD. It's got a purpose. Use it's power. 

Feel free to email me at nat@wheresnatat.com 

Enjoy 😀

Speaker 1:
0:01
This is the wonder of life, and today's subject is about pain, both physical pain and emotional pain. Before we start, I want you to get comfortable. Switch your phone off, closed the door, and if there's anyone around you, let them know that you're taking some time out. Maybe they might want to join you, but the idea is to sit back and relax and to contemplate pain. Before we start, we're going to take some breaths just to relax us into the mind and to get us into the moment. Take a deep breath in through the nose and out through the mouth.
Speaker 2:
0:50
Yeah,
Speaker 1:
0:52
take another deep breath in through the nose and out through the mouth and one more time in through the nose. An l through the mouth are now ready and relaxed. The subject of today is pain. There's two types of pain, physical pain and emotional pain. The reason I've chosen pain is because personally I've been in pain for a very long time
Speaker 1:
1:39
since last year, early in August, I had two slipped discs, a fractured spine and a twisted pelvis. Yes, it hurt a lot and I was in bed almost every day for a very, very long time and recently the pain came back even after me improving. But what I've learned about pain in this time is it, it can be managed and also it's here for a reason. The amount of good things that happened to me since this incident could never be listed. There's hundreds of them. My life improved in so many areas because I was forced to stop, take time and relax. For those of you who know me personally, you'll know that I'm always on the go. I've always got ideas and I'm not scared of change, so I'm continuously moving, but my body didn't want that. My body wanted me to rest and to face whatever needed to come up. And when you're in bed on your own for a very long time, it can get quite frustrating. But what I realized is I wasn't being frustrated. I wasn't going into anger or to feeling that I was missing out. I just knew my body wanted me rest and I accepted it.
Speaker 1:
3:03
When I accepted the pain, I allowed all of the emotions that have been behind me being busy and running around to come up. They weren't easy, but seeing what I was hiding from it was really interesting.
Speaker 1:
3:20
I didn't have much direction in life. I thought I knew where I was going, but I didn't. I thought I knew what I wanted, but I didn't. I thought I knew how to do certain things, but I didn't. I thought I needed to work twice as hard, but I didn't. What I needed to do was sit down and wait for life to show me, to show me the next direction, to show me who to talk to and where to go and buy, laying in bed magically, everything I needed starting to happen around me with very little effort because when you're in flow with life and you truly are on the path you're meant to be on, life will take you whether you want to go or not. I never wanted to leave a beat there and that's where I was living. But unfortunately I had to come back to London and I had to stay there for a long time.
Speaker 1:
4:11
It wasn't my ideal summer of 2018 but it was the one that I believe was chosen for me. And since leaving Ebita, so many things have happened to me as I said, but behind the pain there were also some emotions, some things that I was avoiding and like anybody else I know at the moment a lot of people are looking into the emotional reasons of pain. So the idea of this is that there was actually a reason for physical pain and it's usually in the set of your emotions. There's an emotional reason that somehow manifested itself into the physical reality and your experience in a pain.
Speaker 1:
4:48
For those of you who might be a bit skeptical about this, I advise you to go and read the book. You can heal your life by Louise Hay in days, a long list of pain, causes and effects, and she has everything down to a t. Every time I get a pain, I go straight to Louise's book and I look at it and I say, Oh yes, that's it. Whether it's an earache, toothache, or Sciatica, there's an emotional reason. So I, Attica happens to be on my left side, which is all to do with the feminine side is all to do with me rushing around and not feeling supported and financially where I need to be an all of those exact reasons we're showing up in my life. That's exactly where I was in the physical. Financially I needed to take a break. I needed to rest.
Speaker 1:
5:37
I needed to slow down and I needed money to come to me. But I would have never have had that if I'd have been in a Beazer cause I'd been trying to make money elsewhere. But when you're in bed, you can't do anything. And slowly my new role as it were, as a coach came to me, people were asking me to help them. So the more more I was in bed, the more I was able to coach people from my pillow about what they were doing in their life and how they might be able to improve it. It worked for me and it worked for them, and I still coach people now. But one of the other things I realized is along with the physical pain, there's also a lot of emotional pain. The emotional pain comes from us not having a meaning in our lives or having to go through forgiveness for ourselves or for someone else.
Speaker 1:
6:28
Or it can come from separation and loneliness or hopelessness. There's lots of reasons that we can feel pain. That pain is a sign for us to look that something is wrong. And I'm a big believer that when there is emotional pain, rather than avoiding it, you go into it and some of you might feel that that's crazy to do and you just don't want to go into your pain and you want to avoid it. But when I started facing the pain, I could understand it. I could see why I had it. Avoiding pain is wrong. It doesn't help you. I speak very, very passionately about this because I believe that when everyone is bothered to look at their pain and they stop avoiding the inner problems and their inner fears, they can fix everything in their life.
Speaker 1:
7:22
Personally, when I decided that my pain was too much, I needed to give us a few things up that started with alcohol, actually, correction, that started with drugs. I had to give up drugs first, and when I gave up drugs, things started to get a little bit more hurtful for me. I could feel a real darkness coming up and I just knew that I'd been avoiding loads of emotions and loads of things in my life than just taking drugs or weekend and escaping that my reality. But when there were no more drugs, I wasn't hanging around with the same people. I wasn't going to the same places. Things started to change for me, but then I started to drink more and like they say, you swap one addiction for another. I did that. I somehow ended up with a nice little adixen to addiction, sorry to gin and tonics, and I'd never drank that before.
Speaker 1:
8:16
But when I wasn't doing drugs, I want it to taste different alcohols and I became addicted. But these are calls also weren't serving me. So I was going out of the weekend and being even more drunk and even more wasted than I've ever been before because I couldn't handle alcohol. I was a drug taker. I love taking pills. So I wasn't a massive drinker. So it damaged me more just drinking than it did actually take in drugs and alcohol. Somehow the drug stabled me, but I thought both of these aren't good. I need to let them go. So when I gave up the alcohol, that's when things got really tricky. I started to see all of the emotions
Speaker 2:
8:57
that I had been blocking, all of the fears I had, all of the resentments, the jealousy, the anger, the bitchiness, the rudeness, all of the fears I had of being myself, all the inauthenticity. There was so much for me to deal with. It was scary. It actually led me to having what I now call a breakthrough, but at the time it was one of the darkest nights of my life.
Speaker 1:
9:21
It was actually longer than an eye and it lasted several months, but I believe it was the most important part of my life because he got me to face all the bullshit that I was living in. I watched a video by Teal Swan many years ago and she said, don't avoid the pain. Sit with it. If you feel pain, don't put your music on. Don't try and escape. Don't try and talk to someone. Don't pick up your phone. Don't read a book. Don't watch a video. Sit with it. Sit with all the anger that comes up on all the frustration and let it run through you, because at the end of the day, at that pain is just an energy. It's a very strong, powerful, forceful energy, but it's just energy
Speaker 1:
10:05
and if you can allow those feelings just to come through you and to be cried out and to be screamed out, you're letting the energy go. Otherwise it stays in you. I cried into my pillow it nearly every single night for almost six months, and I actually had a two year period in my life where I cry nearly every day. I had a lot of pain. I had to look back in my life and say, oh my God, my life's not been great. Now these things have happened and I have been this way. I was embarrassed of my behavior. I used to lie. I was, you know, not the nicest person. I wasn't completely horrible, but there were certain parts of me that were just rude and bitchy.
Speaker 1:
10:48
A lot of people who know me know I'm quite sarcastic as well, but my sarcasm used to come at the expense of someone else, so I wasn't nice to everyone, but I didn't know. I didn't have the awareness that it, my jokes were hurting people. Now at when I tried to be funny, I try and do it at myself as opposed to someone else and it usually has a better effect. But at the time I didn't know. So I was embarrassed that I'd hurt people with comments and with ideas that I'd had and phrases I had said. I was also embarrassed about how much trouble I got myself in with the opposite sex. My ability to choose the wrong guy was epic, but my ability to also stay with the wrong guy was even bigger. I allowed myself to get beaten up and to get raped and abused emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually. I had zero boundaries. All of this I wasn't aware of because I was drinking or taking drugs and I had no real idea of how fucked up my life really was.
Speaker 1:
11:47
So when I look back now and I think, God, I can't even remember who I was back then. I'm a completely different person and I solely put that down to not avoiding anything. It's amazing how much stuff we try to avoid in our life. I've already done a podcast on avoidance, so I won't go too much into that. Now in terms of pain, this is my recommendation. You can do this as many times as you want and you can do it for as long as you need, but this is the way I go into pain.
Speaker 1:
12:18
If I feel something come up and I know that there's something tapping at my mind I need to deal with, I'll get a pen and paper, I'll switch my phone off and I'll sit down with myself, no music, no distractions, and I'll ask myself in the mirror what do I need to see or what do I need to feel? And you will instantly get a message back from your body telling you what you need to feel or what you need to explore more. And when that feeling comes up, the idea is to sit with it, relax. Don't get angry at yourself and try and get frustrated is just about peacefully relaxing and letting whatever is come up through you. Try not to get frustrated or the person in the mirror because at the end of the day, you're just a human being like the rest of us. Your soul is trying to have an experience through this human existence and it wants to see you explore your life to the fullest, but it can't express itself if you block everything and behind all this pain and this bullshit that we create in our life is a much easier loving, carefree version of yourself.
Speaker 1:
13:30
I'm starting to live in that version every day now and I feel to myself sometimes how grateful and lucky I am to be in this position, but I know I put the work in. I know I did everything I needed to do to get me here today, and I thank myself for doing that. When you write down with your pen and your paper, how bad you feel or how you much you hate life and how many people have wronged you,
Speaker 1:
13:56
you can get clear on it. It can get really emotional and really frustrating, but write it down. These are just emotions and what you'll soon realize is no matter how many things you write down, there's only one thing in common with everything that comes up. And that's you. So for me, putting rape down and abuse and emotional abuse and being lied to and being cheated on. Funnily enough, I was the common thread through all of that. So there was something wrong with me that attracted that into my life and that's where my real forgiveness started from. I started to really understand that I had a power and I was responsible for my own feelings. I was responsible for my own life and also responsible for what happened in it regardless of how painful that might be, and yes, it wasn't the nicest feeling, but I had to accept. Unfortunately, these things do happen to us, but it's our to the things that go wrong in life that creates who we become.
Speaker 1:
14:57
If you want to be the best version of yourself and you're fed up of life and you think it's crap or you want something better than you have to be, something better is not down to anyone else. You can't jump from not having a clue about the world, to then waking up and seeing things spiritually and knowing it's all energy to being a magically enlightened because you have to go back through all of your bullshit and see who you really are before you can come out on the other side saying that you fully understand what it's like to be a spiritual being, to really understand forgiveness and to really understand unconditional love. It's not easy to achieve. Neither of those things are easy to achieve.
Speaker 1:
15:41
Uh, two of the hardest things, real forgiveness and real unconditional love, that two of the hardest things that ever was on the planet ever. It's very, very, very easy for us to go, oh, I understand. Unconditional love. Yes, I love myself. Yes, I forgiven that person. But then if you're reacting in a different way and you're reacting in a negative way, are you still slugger person off or you still go and roll your eyes at that person? You haven't forgiven them. If there's any part of your body that gives you a reaction when you're talking about someone else that is negative or makes you feel low, you haven't forgiven that person, and in order to forgive someone, they don't necessarily have to be there.
Speaker 1:
16:27
It can just be you on your own. Learning to forgive all the things that they might have, may have done to you or you may have done to them. I personally did that. The person that I needed to forgive the most was myself, but for a long time I thought it was someone else. I spent years trying to forgive someone else and then completely missing the fact that it was me, that I needed to forgive. It was me, that I needed to work through all the crap and all the bullshit that I had allowed and the I had created and the other person had just played a part in my life for me to see who I really was, who I really was was a massive drama queen by the way. But now I can laugh about it. Now I find it funny, but you know this pain that you have, it's worth exploring. Take it from me. I am a thorough, thorough therapists and when it comes to exploring the self, there was always stuff to find. There's always more to look at you on, never finished and never done, but you can always start.
Speaker 1:
17:27
I hope you've enjoyed this version of a wonder of life and the subject of pain and it's gone on for longer than I usually go but I guess pains one of those subjects that you can talk about for days on end but I tried to keep it less than 20 minutes and if you are still here and you do have pain, then feel free to reach out. If you want to explore it more and you need more help, you can check it out at [inaudible] dot com and you can contact me through there. But for now, thank you for listening all the way through and I hope you have an amazing day or evening, wherever you are. And I'm going to try and be more consistent with these blocks now because I couldn't because I was in so much pain. But now I'm currently recording this late on the floor in the office in my mum and Dad's house in Yorkshire on a Yoga Mat with my laptop by my side because I still can't sit up because it's too painful. I'm committing to this one and I'm doing what needs to be done.
Speaker 2:
18:25
Okay,
Speaker 1:
18:26
so join me on the office floor next week for the next podcast. Thank you for listening to the wonder of life.