This episode is about the amazing story of how 8 years of infertility ended with Tyson and Ashley Gardner having quadruplet girls. The Gardners share their beautiful journey with so much honesty and love making this an episode you don't want to miss.
To access show notes and the corresponding blog post, click here!
This episode is about the amazing story of how 8 years of infertility ended with Tyson and Ashley Gardner having quadruplet girls. The Gardners share their beautiful journey with so much honesty and love making this an episode you don't want to miss.
To access show notes and the corresponding blog post, click here!
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Speaker 2:well and this is the podcast where we talk about all the things for those in life who want it all. This podcast is for you.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Hello podcasts, family. I am so freaking excited about two days interview and today's episode. I reached out to the Gardner squad thinking that there was no way they were going to come on my podcast and I was pleasantly and so happily shocked when they agree to make an appearance on the balance podcast. So today's episode is all about the Gardner squad. Tyson and Ashley Gardner are parents of quadruplet girls. You guys, these girls are absolutely adorable. They are two set of identical twin girls and the Gardner family runs multi multi businesses from their home. They are into a little bit of everything. They have a really awesome youtube channel and this episode is just chock full of so much raw emotion, transparency, goodness. They bring so much value. It is an amazing episode and I'm just going to say these people were so gracious because 25 minutes into the first recording I realized there was no recording. So I finished out the episode, pretended nothing was wrong, and at the end they agreed that they would just like to stay on and rerecord the episodes. So for that, I am entirely grateful and I know all of you will be as well when we get to the end. I'm recording now, so let me go through this first part. Okay. Hold on one sec.
Speaker 3:Hmm.
Speaker 1:Hey Tyson and hey Ashley, how are you guys doing today? I am doing fantastic. Thank you so much for agreeing to be on the balance podcast. To share a little bit about yourselves and your family. I'm super excited about today's interview. Okay. So let's get started. My very first question is for anyone out there who may not know you, can you share with us who you are, a little bit about your family, what you do and what your journey has look like to get here.
Speaker 4:The course. We are Tyson and actually Gardner roof from Utah and we have been blessed with quadruplet girls. We have two sets of identical twins, which is a one in 70 million a chance. So there are definitely miracles, uh, that we've been blessed with from God. Um, we, uh, have a youtube channel. We are daily Vloggers, so you can find us on Youtube, uh, our pages, Gardner Squat, squat. We are also on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and we have a blog as well. And you can search Gardner squat, squat on any of those and find us our blog pages, Gardner[inaudible], wine.com. And MMM. You know, that's just a little bit about our story that girls are four years old now. So we've been on this roller coaster for a little over four years. Pregnancy was definitely part of that. So we're just happy to be here alive with our head still above water. You know, we're, we're excited for the journey ahead.
Speaker 1:That is amazing. So I know my listeners are dying to know what life with quads is like. So can you just share with us a little bit about your journey and finding out you're expecting quads and what your birth story and Nicu story was like?
Speaker 5:Sure. Yeah. So, um, we struggled with infertility for eight years. We tried several different treatments, endometriosis and it's a stage for endometriosis. So, um, I'll be tried for many years and just could never get pregnant. We tried surgery's different fertility treatments, everything up to IVF because IVF is very expensive. So we took a break for about a year and we saved everything that we could to um, be able to do IVF. And we finally pull that trigger and we got blessed with quadruplets. So who we, that moment, that moment of finding out is one of the most surreal moments in my entire life. I mean, I have never felt every single emotion a human could possibly fill. And a split second when they said there's four in there. It was like every sense of joy and fear runs through your body all at the same time. No.
Speaker 4:I want to interject really quick. I want, I want your followers to know that, you know, when, when we did IVF, by the time it got mmm to, to the day where he was in planning eggs, we had only had two eggs and made it to the very end and all the rest of that off because of my goodness. So he had two ways. One was a great a mom as a great d. I don't know what all that means, but obviously I didn't, I didn't give much hope and gravy. But after the fact, he told us that he basically put the grade d and back just to kind of give us that little extra hope. Well there are two eggs.
Speaker 5:Well they couldn't freeze it. Yeah. Oh, okay.
Speaker 4:Oldest this viable. But he gave us that day and this is funny cause they brought crushed her on as the day they're implanting x. He said, look, I'm giving you about a 40% chance of having one the, oh my goodness. Ash and I were devastated on that day, the day because we have no eggs left or freeze. And we basically in our minds have one good egg that was going back. So gotcha. Gotcha.
Speaker 5:Him. Yeah. I don't have any more ice. He said you've got to go to adoption or a Agra adoption
Speaker 4:because this was so bad. It just compromise everything. So flash forward though, you don't think your mom not 40% and not as part of our story. Get that.
Speaker 5:No statistics, statistics and that is where we get, you know, our beautiful truly are
Speaker 4:miracles because you know, becoming pregnant with both eggs, splitting, having the two sets of identical twins, that's a one in 70 million
Speaker 5:odd for me. Yeah, I call that a miracle. That's the definition of a miracle. Without a doubt. Yes. It's definitely definition avenue miracle and these girls are and um, definitely have showed a lot throughout just our four short years. I mean they had definitely many things that, you know, they may have not been able to, I mean I had just been a miracle for blood pressure and they have a purpose for being here. So, um, so our pregnancy was, um, our pregnancy was kind of eventful. It was the first about 19 weeks I was super duper sick, like just couldn't even get up, couldn't even sit up I the smells of anything. I wasn't eating anything. It was, I lost 20 pounds in my first trimester and I didn't have 20 pounds to lose. And,
Speaker 4:and as awful as it was for Ashley, and as hard as it was actually it was, it was so stressful on me too because I knew
Speaker 5:she needed to eat, I guess I to come home from work and I had to force those Costco protein shakes. Only thing I ever did. I knew I had to do that for the babies because they, yeah,
Speaker 4:they were just sucking off her nutrients and she was so, so sick and I mean every day it was just a struggle to Ashley. Yeah, you
Speaker 5:have to drink this shake. Oh my gosh. It was just, I mean, we laugh about it now. It was such a difficult time to just sustain her and goes to Steven pregnancy. So I'm at about 19 weeks of the girls had grown and they were growing perfect. Up to this point. The only thing was that I was really sick at 19 weeks. Um, two of them develops ttts so they essentially, we almost lost all four of them and ttts is twin to twin transfusion syndrome. So if you guys don't know what it is, you can Google it. Um, but basically one maybe is taking all of their trees and not giving any back to their identical twin. So you're fine. I'm sorry. I always tell my audience, this is called life over here at the house. Sorry. Is that what you're fine. We had to fly the next day that we gotten, that we had ttts we had to fly to California and um, get fetal surgery on two of the babies. And I didn't realize that that was something that could happen other than in like the Grey's anatomy episode. I was real life. But they really do perform fetal surgery and it is intense. Um, they do the surgery. It's very hard on the babies, but it's either the surgery or be worried to lose them. And um, they do this surgery and then they say, k surgery's done and you've got 24 hours. We'll see if they still have heartbeats afterwards and it is the most terrifying 24 hours of your life. Um, we have never felt the power of prayers so much during that time. Um, we as hard of a situation is that was, it was one of our biggest faith building experiences in our lives was to be able to go through that and go through the unknown and not know if our babies, we're going to survive the 24 hours. Um, but not only that, having so many prayers from all over the world, all different religions, all different people from everywhere are following, was praying for us. They were typing out prayers on our posts. They were, I've never felt that magnitude of the power of prayer before as I did in that moment.
Speaker 4:Nobody cared for, you know, political stance. They didn't care. They loved these babies. They saw these miracles that we're going to be born and they truly just, we're praying for these beautiful children to make it and to be born. And that was so eye opening for Ashley. And I really, you know, all the gardens that you see out there on the media, you know, you don't, you don't really know what's out in the world. And actually, and I saw what was really out in the world, really good people who care about other people
Speaker 5:praying to their higher power, no matter who they're higher common was they were praying and uh, we felt those prayers and, and great magnitude and it really sustained us through that time to be able to make it through those 24 hours. And, um, they, we got through the 24 hours fast forward and we have four heartbeats. And, um, we were very excited about that and the doctor said, hey, just make it home and I need you flat on your left side until you deliver these babies. And so I was at home for a couple of weeks and then got to the hospital and I was on hospital bed rest black on my left side for about seven and a half weeks. Um, every single holiday, all of them I got discharged. And honestly, they were the best holiday you were. We, we were doing exactly what we needed to be doing and it was best for those babies. And honestly it was the least stressful holiday. Exactly what we deliver. We deliver, we delivered at 29 weeks and four days. And so one of the biggest questions I always get from people is how ginormous were you? Probably my least favorite question I guess. Um, but it is a good question. A lot of it is definitely something that I understand why people would want to get that. Um, but yeah, it, because I delivered so early and my babies were so small, they kind of equal to one big babies. So the day I delivered, I was 42 weeks or so. I was measuring it 42 weeks, but I was 29 weeks and four days, so I'll be delivered. Um, and in d was our smallest and she was one pound six ounces and then as need was the next, she was two, nine. And then we had starlet at two pounds, eight ounces, and then evi was two pounds, 10 ounces. So, um, they were really, really small and the literally just fit right in the palm of your hand. Um, they were just so tiny little fighting miracles. I didn't even like when you looked at them, you were just like in all like how can there be so much in them? They're so tiny. Like their heart, their lungs, their bowels, everything. How can that be inside that little tiny, tiny human, like the perfect most tiny perfect thing you've ever seen? Yeah. Don't like you really realize how strong they are. They are just so strong at the resilience of those doctors were warning us about this, that and the other. They just kept blowing everybody away. Those obstacles. We had the Nicu, the neonatologist doctor's saying, well let me just put this in your mind that statistically one out of every four babies who are born at 40 weeks and are supposedly perfectly healthy have health issues. So if you're going to have four babies, all pretty neat. Like odds are they're going to have health issues and I'm happy to announce it. None of them have any health issues at all. They are perfectly healthy. I mean, again, for us, it just shows the miracles that we've been blessed with God. They aren't, they're meant to be here and have a purpose, the light to shine to the world. And that's our job is to help them shine that light. That's kind of how we feel about our journey. Um, so to jump forward to your other part of your question, the Nicu, um, the Nick U was, they say to plan on an original due date. So my girls were born December 28 and their original due date was march 11. So about three months. Did they want you to plan on? Um, and we got our first baby home and he, she was our biggest and our strong as she came home at six weeks. And then we got your way and then one week later, exactly one week later we had, um, as me and scarlet both came home on the same day together. So we have three at home and one in the Nicu. And um, did fast forward a little bit and he did end up being able to come home at eight weeks, which was great. But it was the longest week of my entire life to have like, um, do your nephew experiences so difficult? It's a rollercoaster. It's so hard. You have ups and downs, you know, we had a few hiccups where in the, you know, kind of went blue and stop breathing that they have to bring back. Like there was a lot of do things like that. But overall, um, the hardest part of the Nicu stay for me as a mother was having my babies split up when they were all together in the Nicu. It was way easier for me because I would just go and I'd spend 18 hours a day there and then I go home and I'd sleep and then I'd wake up and I'd do it again. And I was with my babies all day long. I was rotating through all four of them, giving them as much as I could. Um, but then when they're split, you have one at home and you're the only one who, and her husband were the only one fighting for this baby. They don't have doctors and nurses anymore because there's still so tiny when they come home and oh my goodness, yes they all come home and I'll came home on oxygen and monitors. Um, and they, it was, I mean it was crazy but having them split was probably the most emotional thing I've ever been through. I mean when we have three at home, I mean we had three, we had triplets at home that literally require every moment of your time and your energy and then you still have one in the Nicu that you have to drive 20 minutes to go see and spend time with. And then you're sitting there at the Nicu going, oh my gosh, is my husband drowned. He now your heart is torn into pieces and that was of the most difficult, most emotional experiences I had ever been through.
Speaker 1:Yeah. I'm so glad you mentioned that cause I was going to follow up that question because that's something that we experienced as well. And like you said, it's your so torn because you feel joy and you feel sadness. And as a parent, I mean, I mean as it is, the whole thing is so emotional and you feel like a failure so often. So all those feelings start flooding up, you know when that split happens cause all you really want is to be a family is to finally be a family. Okay.
Speaker 5:Yeah, definitely. Yeah. I mean, and how are you going to split? It's just your heart is literally in two different places in it aches constantly. Yes, no sleep. You just want to care for her. And um, you know, I, I was so happy the day that we finally got all four of them back together again. That was just the best date ever.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Not all the responsibility was off this call. I was like, you can have doctors and nurses trust you to do that.
Speaker 5:Right.
Speaker 1:Okay. You guys, you know, you make such a good point and you actually strike something I'm never actually thought of before and I'm sure you've felt this way too. It's because the Nicky was your life, right? That was your entire life. So now you're being asked and now it's time to start life home as a family. But when you have one here and one there you, it's like hard to blend those worlds. It has, it's nearly impossible because your mindset this way in this world, but now we've gotta be this way and it's a whole new world. So it's just a total mind boggling experience.
Speaker 5:How to manage literally no sleep and feedings and the diaper changing things and making sure each one of them is getting enough love and yeah. You know, and there's just so much that you have that goes into, you know, becoming a parent of one or four and no matter where you're at on that spectrum and it's, um, you know, you're, you've got a new life with a new little human being or beings that are completely reliant on you. Yeah. You are their sole provider provider. You're, you're the one that's responsible for keeping them alive. And I was like, I don't know if I'm qualified to do that. Yeah,
Speaker 1:it wasn't transition, let's put it. Yes, because like you said, like ours came home on apnea monitors too. And our caffeine. And then so the monitors going off all the time, you're not sleeping at all but you're still trying to like pump and I'll do all these things and do this. And it's just, it's the most exhausting, blissful state that there can be. I'm pretty sure. Oh for sure. It's funny looking back, do you ever realize or do you ever think, oh I can do that again or like that wasn't so bad, but then you're like, wait, no, that was crazy. We have differing opinions on that. So now my, my husband's the same way cause he's very, um, has a lot of fear about having shoulder and again, just because of the experience. So I totally understand, you know, having differing opinions on that. But um, thank you so much for sharing your birth story. I can tell you I had so many chills throughout the whole thing. Just cause you know, my boys had t t t s as well, but they developed a lot later and they actually, we were thinking of having that surgery perform but there wasn't enough time since they were born 24 after 24 hours after us being admitted. So yeah. So that's such a blessing. You guys were able to have that surgery and it actually work, you know, cause like you said, there's a lot of odds that may not go in that, in that favor. Aussie gone to that and a lot of, you know, faith. Yes. That's sometimes all you have.
Speaker 4:We went into a holding to our faith and that's what kept us going.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. Yeah. Sometimes that's all you can have and those kind of times, you know, you give it all up to God, you know, that's, that's all you can do. And actually one of my favorite things you said, um, you know about your Nicu and your birth experiences that all of the immense emotions that you felt all at one time, like being so filled with joy and just hope, but at the same time being so filled with fear about the unknown and you know, questioning everything that's going on. Um, yeah, definitely. I mean, you just don't, you don't know. You don't know if you're qualified. You Do, you don't do your best.
Speaker 4:You're on a rollercoaster, doesn't have an end. You just keep going. It's like one second, your thought was like, no, sleep are the next minute you're doing loop de loops and you're like, where am I?
Speaker 1:Right. Especially with with too, you know, we never got a break. It was always an outline it down, but with four, I mean, goodness gracious, I just can't imagine like you're going to keep track of each one and each one of their issues and the progress of each girl. So I just, goodness,
Speaker 4:well, what,
Speaker 1:Oh, I can only imagine you guys are rock stars. That's all I can say. Um, so I do want to ask, um, what have been some of the best parts and the hardest parts of being quad parents? Right?
Speaker 4:For me, one of the things that stands out the most is, you know, initially, um, you know, when you're having a watch, but it was two sets of twins are like policy may kind of cool and you know, we're going to look alive and these two will probably be like that. And he's still be like, mom, no, they are all their own individuals. They are so different. Their personalities are so different. And for me that was kind of surprising in the beginning, but also now, you know, shoot four years down the line, it is so much fun and have these four distinct personalities. They give you so much, uh, you know, fire and love and they're just so different. It's that your day is never boring. You're always entertaining. Um, they're just, they crack me up. You know, it's, it's, it's just another, you know, example to us. You know that we all come from heaven with our own spirits and you know, they definitely came with their own spirits because, um, I don't even know if actually, and I have shaped him in any way yet because they've had some strong personalities. Right. For me it's just like any is indeed, you know, as they are just their home being and it's, it's, it's amazing to just watch that unfold.
Speaker 5:Yeah. I mean there's a lot of cool things and challenges that come with it. I mean, and the challenges, I feel like change with every, with every stage I maybe Guinea it was so hard because you didn't sleep ever. It was just a constant, like, I don't even recall that first year. I don't think I was really here. It was a murder. I really don't even remember that first year. It was just so hard because they constantly needed to be fed and burped and changed and rocked and love. And now it's different. Like they sleep through the night, but now they destroy your home and they tell you about why million and a half times a day and you're like, get how come here. It was so funny yesterday, I kept hearing you guys have probably all seen the meme where you know how many times does a parent here, they're like mom or dad in a day. Oh yeah. I was just like, oh my gosh. Like they literally have said, my name's saw many times they write your mom one more time and then right. Then start lips up his mom, mom, I go, what? She goes, I don't know. What's so funny? That's amazing. They know how to get to for sure. Yeah, I can. I can imagine. You do not get much of a break. Like when you're a mode, they someone needs something to drink. Sam, I need something to eat so it needs to go tt. It's like ever one right after another, like one I'll ask for a drink and then you go into the kitchen, you get it and bring it back to the couch and then the next one like I want to do. And your constant, they always need something. They always wants loving me.
Speaker 4:Remember spectrum though, and I hopefully this goes up. Your question is you don't have noticed that, you know, actually I have definitely changed though because what we feel is important in life and what you know, we give our time to now is completely different than before we had children. You know, even though you're running constantly for the girls and you're getting them what they need, you've got school, you've got dance and you know you want to give them time. And you know, I, I've found that the most important thing in my life is giving my daughters at the time and the love that they need. It's not basketball anymore. It's not my music. It's not, it's not anything that I used to do. Those things have all taken a backseat to my family. And you know, my children, they get me this unconditional love is unmatched by anything. And I just, you're saying, Oh, good, thank you. Know, they just, they mom. And it makes it so easy to just say, I will do anything for you. Any, yeah.
Speaker 1:No. I think our children sometimes are our greatest teacher. They teach me so much every day and like I want to live more like they do. Yeah. And they just give so much, so freely. They're so forgiving. They, they hold no prejudice.
Speaker 4:Yeah. Yeah. You're, yeah. They see, I love to look at the world through our kids' eyes. Yeah. That's been one of my favorite things is when they see something for the first time, they're so excited. They think is the coolest thing. You're just like, wow. Sometimes we take for granted. Yeah. You know, we've been given every single day. This is, this is interesting.
Speaker 1:It is it, yeah. Like their emotions, their joys are amplified through you. Like you feel it too. When they're happy, you're happy, and when they're excited, you're excited. And I think that's just a beautiful thing to experience.
Speaker 4:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:Okay. So a little bit of a transition. How do you guys manage your businesses with quads and you have any tips to our listeners on time management?
Speaker 4:Um, you know, one thing for Ashley and I that we found is that, you know, we play to our strengths and our weaknesses and we do everything together. We're a team and we've kind of been like this throughout our marriage. We're definitely through the pregnancy and after the girls have come. And you know, one thing that I've tried to do is, you know, uh, you know, being a man and being, you know, kind of a proud guy, you have to realize there are certain things that, that you can't do very well and there's certain things that your wife is going to do a lot better and it's okay to admit those things. And that's been good for our marriage. That's been good for us as parents that we played to our strengths. You know, actually we'll do some things way better than I will do and I'm going to let her do those and take the credit and vice versa. You know, there might be something in the business that I come a little bit stronger at doing and she's going to let me handle that. And, and that's kind of how we run our lives. We do everything together. But if one of us a stronger as something we step aside and let them take the lead on that thing. But the most important thing is that we're a team. Do we do everything together? Just because Ashley's the mom, does it mean that she had to change all the diapers and do the bottles? No, absolutely not. I changed just as many diapers and I said just as many bottles and vice versa. In business there's not, you know, one thing that I do more because you know, I'm a man and that's my job and that's the stereotype. I know in today's world it's not, you know, women are, you know, a lot more empowered and as they should be. But we do everything equal. We're equal partners in parenting. We're equal partners in life. We're equal partners in our business and we're happy to help each other out. And the one thing that we have with each other is trust. And we're always there for each other. No matter. We did everything together. We split it equally. We're a team. There are children, their parents, it's our business. And uh, it's, it's not you, I, that is not how we speak and our house, it's our, it's our family business. And so these are our children and, and we've always been a team. And actually, and I have been like that pretty much throughout our entire marriage. And I think, you know, just going through those trials and going through life, you know, it only strengthened us and made us even more of who we are. We're, but, you know, running all of these businesses, we just, we do everything together. And I think the most important thing for us, um, in parenting and in business, in relationships in life, is we try not to take things too serious and we try not to look too far down the line. We just take it a day at a time.
Speaker 5:I think that's great advice for sure. And I love that you just say like, admit someone you're not good at something and maybe you know, give that task to someone by going back to it. I understand. Hey, that's it. That's a good thing.
Speaker 4:Okay. Yeah, this is going to come up anyway, softball in the minute.
Speaker 5:No, I love that. So my next question is, since this podcast is called the balance, um, so how does balance look for you today compared to life before the quiets? Oh my goodness. That is a good question.
Speaker 2:You know, I,
Speaker 5:it's so hard for me to say this because I feel from that infertility standpoint is, well,
Speaker 2:um, but
Speaker 5:it is so true. Like my, our lives did not start until we had kids. Like I look back now and I'm like, holy cow, it's so easy. Do not have any. But that doesn't mean it was better. I mean, it is, um, it is a, a huge joy to have these children and to balance and, you know, kind of to talk a little bit about what Tyson was saying is something that we do to help is well into balance. Everything is, uh, we've really had to learn to delegate Tyson and I, our whole entire marriage, I've always been like, no, I can do it myself. I'm strong. I can do it. I don't need anybody's help. Like that's kind of how we were before we had kids. And I'm telling you, watch your gluts, humble you really, really fast. Really Imagine I can not do it all by myself and I do need help. Um, especially where we run five businesses from home. I mean there's just a lot they just juggled in the air. And so for us, balancing is, um, it is, uh, it's a daily task and a daily struggle to be honest with you. Um, we, like, I was still on tax and last week, like I, I totally killed it at one of my businesses. I did everything that I needed to do. I did the likewise I needed to do, I did orders I needed to do, I have everything. And then I came out at five to cook dinner and I'm like, I feel like I want to talk. I didn't blog anything. So I did nothing for any of my other core businesses. I just did everything for one and then it not time. It was time for me to be mom again and then I can connect with Tyson and all that day. Well, I'm just trying to balance it. So the next day I didn't do anything for the business. I did the day before. I've lost really well in the anti suspect, right? Quality time together. And with the girls I was like, it's this constant cycle of like I have to realize that I can't do it all. I do have to delegate. We hired assistance to help us with some of these tasks bit. Um, we don't have to personally do, we can delegate to people. Um, that's been my biggest thing is it was hard for us to let go of that control to delegate. But that's been one of the best things that we've learned to do is this task may not hit on the way I would do it, but as long as it gets done, that's good. No,
Speaker 1:I absolutely love that. And I definitely have had to learn the same thing as well. You know, if my husband, if he empties the dishwasher and all the things are not where they're supposed to go, no, I just have to get over it. Yeah, exactly. And you know, my next question was a follow up question and you kind of already answered it in your question because my question was what are you choosing to bomb right now due to your current priorities? And I loved what you said about, you know, you've recognize that you did all the things you wanted to in one business and you like felt like a rock star mom. You came at a perfect time, but then you realize all these other things didn't get done, but you were okay with it. Like when you accepted it and you still let yourself feel like, oh, this is a big one. And the other stuff will happen later.
Speaker 5:Yeah, yeah, exactly. Like I, you can't get down on yourself about that stuff because you can only do what you can do. There's only so many hours within the day and you can only accomplish so much. And so for me, I accomplished so much in one business, um, and then I just took it as a win and then the next day I, I, you know, I totally tackled the next business and we did that really, really well the next day. So you can only do what you can do and there's only so many hours in the day.
Speaker 1:And I think people need to hear that so more often than they do. So I appreciate those words of encouragement because we all have to feel like we're a rockstar at everything all the time. And it just, it is, yes, it was just, and we just have to accept it's not going to happen, you know, and just be,
Speaker 5:and it's okay and you're doing way better than you think you are. Yeah. They're always doing way better than you think you are and you're your own worst critic. That those are the lessons that I've learned. I'm my own worst critic. I'm doing way better than I, and I'm okay. I'm going to just take it as a win, be happy and move on to just continue putting one foot in front of the other. Yes, absolutely. I love that. And you guys have already offered up so much wisdom today, but my last question is, are there any last words of encouragement to all the moms and dads out there who are feeling overwhelmed? Um, well we both have answer for that one. I can't wait to hear both. Okay. So, um, we've definitely been over here in this house where we feel like we're drowning. We definitely feel like that. Um, with all of our business, our kids, no matter what the circumstances, sometimes you have family drama. Sometimes you know, you have just a whole bunch of stuff that's weighing on your plate. And um, what I, what I like to think about is this is such a sweetie
Speaker 4:small, small
Speaker 5:timeframe. It feels like it's going to last forever. But what gets me through it is my kids aren't going to be little forever. And while that is so sad and it makes me so sad that they're not going to be little forever, things are going to change and things will get a little bit easier as they get older. And every single day that you put one foot in front of the other, things are going to get easier. And maybe today sucks and maybe it's the worst day and maybe you're like, shoot, I yelled at my kids way more than I should have today. But you always have tomorrow. Tomorrow's a new day and you just start again. And if you mess up again, that's okay. You got a new minute. The next minute you can start again. You can always start again and keep trying to do better than you did the minute before. And that's the only person that you ever need to try and be better than is who you were yesterday. And so I love that is to not comparing yourself. I feel like especially moms, if any mom, you know the moms out there and this speed, we tend to compare ourselves to everybody on social media. Like, well this mom, you know, does 75 things for Saint Patrick's day and I don't even think my kids aren't agreeing to shirts. So you know, you start feeling really bad about these things but you have to realize that that's okay and your kids are going to be just fine and you just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other and know that you're doing way better than you think you are. Thank you Ashley. I love that advice.
Speaker 4:It always changes from time to time. I think it just depends on what I'm going through at the moment. But I guess right now what's coming to my mind is, you know, as parents we're out in the world, we see what's going on in the world. You know, Reggie[inaudible], you know, watch the news and you know, we understand everything and sometimes the world can be a dark place and you have to realize that that's life. And Ashley and I try and be a light to the world. We try and make ourselves positive. We try and you know, show our like short, lyrical, the blessings that God has given us and talk about them openly and share that with the world. But that being said, um, US acknowledging the world, I bring it back to my house. They're looking at a picture of my daughters right now and they, I'm conditionally love Ashland and we right now are their world. And so they don't see all the garbage that's out there. They see what actually I, um, allow them to see because that's all they know. And so for me, for parents out there right now, what I like to share is you are in your children's world and you are there educators. You are their teachers and they are learning from you. And so no matter what's going on in your life, if you've had a busy work and you've had a hard day at the office, you, you know, things didn't go right. Give your child everything positive that they need. Give them the love that they need. Because if you think about what they give to us, unconditional love, that's what they give to us. They love us no matter what. And if we can just focus on giving them that, when they do come to that point, when they have to go out into the world, that dark place, sometimes they will be alive also and they'll, they'll share a message that God wants them to share.
Speaker 1:Oh my goodness. That is so beautiful. And honestly when someone listens to this episode, when they hear that, I think it's going to be a gut check, you know, because like you said, we are their world and it shouldn't matter what else is happening in the world or what kind of day you had. Not saying you're not going to have bad days or you know, be perfectly positive, but you have to remember that you are shaping their world and they look to you. And I just, I know that's going to hit someone really hard. I know it did for me. So thank you for sharing that.
Speaker 4:Of course. Thank you.
Speaker 1:Okay, so I know you guys already shared, you know where we can find you all. You'd have your Youtube blog and your Instagram feed and your Facebook. And if you guys do not follow them, you have to go follow them because I they, their girls are adorable. Like so adorable. They are so stinking cute. So thank you guys so much for sharing your story today for being on the podcast and taking your time to do this. I really, really appreciate it. Oh, of course. Thank you for happiness.
Speaker 4:Absolutely. We had a great time. Thank you.
Speaker 2:Thanks for tuning in to today's episode of the balance. For more information about me or to receive your free goal setting died, visit Kelly rowland.com can't wait to talk to you. Well next time.