Cybergoths Vs Big Gay Dragons

Cybergoths vs Big Gay Dragons 0103: DOOM and Gloom

March 07, 2019 Season 1 Episode 3
Cybergoths Vs Big Gay Dragons
Cybergoths vs Big Gay Dragons 0103: DOOM and Gloom
Chapters
Cybergoths Vs Big Gay Dragons
Cybergoths vs Big Gay Dragons 0103: DOOM and Gloom
Mar 07, 2019 Season 1 Episode 3
Josh Burgess
In which our protagonist recovers from their injury, only to accidentally commit industrial espionage.
Show Notes Transcript

In which our protagonist recovers from their injury, only to accidentally commit industrial espionage. 



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Speaker 1:
0:00
Previously on fiber goth versus big gay dragons.
Speaker 2:
0:04
All right, this guy is definitely following me. I don't like the look of him. His eyes are all yellow and looking good and there is a bolt in my leg. I have been shocked. I am totally melting down. Oh this is a goober. His toaster signing off. It's been fun. I guess you're going to listen to somebody die. Oh Patty. Patty, you saved me all. You lit the Mugham up at lush. Alright. I need to recover and gets recuperated. I'm good to duck into my usual diner for a minute to hear cause you know what they say
Speaker 3:
0:35
if you have being shot, you should eat pancakes. They say that don't look at me.
Speaker 1:
0:42
300 years after colonization, the thing I gotten were attacked by Dragon, the dragon and gay.
Speaker 4:
1:15
No, the galaxy all the crying game. Drag Dragon.
Speaker 5:
1:52
Okay.
Speaker 1:
2:03
And Gloom.
Speaker 3:
2:06
Oh, food really helps. You know, I was starting to get kind of hangry, you know, angry because you're hungry and I was also feeling whatever the cool combined the word is for the mood. It is when you're upset that you were just a shot in the fricking leg up shot, shot to leg set. Again, this is why I don't go outside the people. Okay. All right. So I'm holed up in this diner, which is one of the few places I like to go to a lot. It's always open, which suits my unpredictable schedule. And it's like a, it's just a normal place that you can go if you're by yourself. Plus they have these big comfy booths. I can sit in and my weird positions and I know that these rubber seats so won't be harmed by my boots. And, uh, they've got this coffee that's like, well, I mean it's, it's sort of bad, you know, but it's an a, it's bad in a way that's like fits this like retro diner ambiance.
Speaker 3:
2:56
Oh, okay. And this is the last good thing about the diner. I'm not a walking advertisement, although it's good. You should come. Uh, they play lots of these cutesy oldies songs on the jukebox. You know, there's old bands like boys, two wolves, uh, no gout, Avril latrine, you know, just this classic, uh, oldies, oldies bumps out. How these, okay. These nanobots I have cleaning my, my, my leg shot wound again. I keep whispering when I'm not talking, I'm looking, I'm just looking off into space, but then talking to you. Uh, but these nanobots they hurts. It's, it's, it, it didn't at first, but I think that was adrenaline or maybe painkillers, but now it's just like really bad pins and needles, not comfortable. This place is overall a bit of an ambivalent experience for me though. These fluorescent lights that they definitely see it at the time that this diner is a, you know, retro too.
Speaker 3:
3:47
But they get painful to me after a long time and it can be really allowed if it's full of the act, the rave crowd. And it looks like right now they're, they're all leaving, which is fortunate. Uh, it's still pretty loud though as you can here. Uh, oh yeah. Let's, and now that we have a moment, let's talk about the, uh, the Agora lock in the room here. Uh, what if this is just a transcript of my thoughts. I mean you've been hearing sort of city sounds and this background. So what, what that is, um, is that of course I'm hearing that and it has to make an impression on my brain a little bit. So even as I'm talking to you about something, I'm focused on, this background noise is, is literally imprinted itself on what it is I'm putting out. So there you go.
Speaker 3:
4:29
I know some of you have been trying to Gotcha me with that's, but nope, that's what's going on. Uh, but the main thing about this diner that makes me sometimes want to go somewhere else, even though I would rather go here first. A is a fellow that the works here named young hung. So the bar always has one human behind the bar while the rest of the service staff is all synthetic and [inaudible] is one of their rotating human servers. Uh, so I think he, he might have a crush on me, but I also have a crush on him too, but I can't tell what's going on. So the whole thing just ends up giving me a anxiety because flirting is very hard if you're not good at picking up these nonverbal cues from others. So, you know, and sometimes I like to think that that disadvantage I have might be counterbalanced by my being into, you know, people of any gender as a, hopefully we're like working on neutral here.
Speaker 3:
5:15
I can just, it evens out to being like what the typical person's odds might be. Uh, but who knows. But yes, from a, from young gun, you know, I get these, a lot of ambiguous, uh, mixed signals over the months or I guess years I've been coming to this diner now. I mean there's always friendly and always ask me questions about how things are going, which, I mean, I know that's part of his job. You know, I realized that and I don't want to make that a weird, but I do think he's friendly to me above and beyond professionalism, you know, always perks up when I arrive. Like neglecting some of the other customers for like a really inappropriate amount of time, you know, touches my hand when he asks me things. Uh, and you know, one time he asked me in very plain explicit language if I would like to on a romantic date with him sometime, you know, all these like totally vague, baffling gestures that no one could possibly discern the true meaning of its all just who could be, who couldn't understand any of it.
Speaker 3:
6:08
And I'm, I'm somewhat joking. I, I understood what he meant then of course. And uh, I mean I said maybe I would need to think about it and then I panicked and ghosted and having to come back here in a month because I am just a smooth like that. So yeah, I choose not to come here sometimes so I can avoid that situation, which, uh, you know, that's annoys me anyway, today. Unfortunately, it's not young Hon, uh, as this other lady who I liked, but there's only like, like, you know, which is just as good because if it was young hon, you know, on top of my having been totally ghostly, uh, if he was like, Oh hey, how you're doing. And I was like, Oh, you know, shot, then that would be a whole conversation. I'd rather just avoid it. Yeah. I'd really rather not get involved with the precinct.
Speaker 3:
6:52
It would just be more inconvenience and you know, it's not like I need them to catch the guy or retrieve any stolen items. Uh, I guess his body is just going to wait there until someone finds its, which is gross and the maybe an issue for me. But Oh, you make weird decisions under stress. All right, so right now, this morning, I'm happy that for the last half hour all I've had to think about wonder is what I want on my waffles. Oh, here they come. That's great. Perfect. Okay. While I'm talking into this, I might as well tell you a little bit about my job at the department of optimal moderation here in a black rose city. It's weird. It's kind of weird. I think talking this to you while I'm also eating because I, I'm not talking with my mouth full, but it feels very much like I am.
Speaker 3:
7:36
I still like have this little, I'm breaking a rule here. Uh, but I guess cause new device, I make the rules. So the department of optimal moderation, it's a very important function of our city's government. You see, because since everything you need to live is provided by the city, including your health care, they have to monitor the foods, drink and substances. That's your consuming as if you overdo it too much, you'll get some warnings from the city and then eventually you'll get suspended from purchasing these unhealthy items until you've been healthy for probation period. Uh, you're never just booted off of the support. Obviously that would be very bad. You just don't get too, you know, gradually destroy yourself by bad choices. And now of course, I'm sure some of you are thinking with a lot of people in block roads, things to, lots of people think this is just like fascism, dystopia, you just complete 1984 but you know, we're all healthy as a result.
Speaker 3:
8:32
And personally I think you get more freedom from a life where you don't have to work like three jobs just to pay for food, water, rent, healthcare, transpo and the things you need to live. You can just live whatever that looks like to you. You know, make art, have to family, focus on your community. I Dunno, make world saving brain reading devices, whatever it is you want to do or you just, just nothing, just a read a lot to whatever. Like why is that a crime of a way to spend your life? You can just live a life that has some meaning other than what value you can produce for other people to sell and make more money than you'll ever see in your life. All right, soapbox concluded though. Of course I'm biased because I depend on this program's, you know, but um, I don't know.
Speaker 3:
9:17
Is that bias or is that just like, you know, Data and plus, look, I made a cool thing while I was on assistance, so, you know, deal with it. Sunglasses Dot Gif and anyway, yes about these health tracker chips. You can just say screw all of this and either a nugget, a chip in the first place when you turn 21, or you can at any time in your life have your chip, uh, you're tracking ship removed for free and you'll just take your chances living however, and buying your own medicine to account for it. The Wild West style, I don't understand preferring this, but, uh, of course they never could have gotten this government project accomplished without an option for the people who, uh, who hate the idea, uh, so that they get to opt out. It's mostly young people who say they don't want this tracker, uh, and the security plan because they're, you know, they're generally quite immune to poor health and they want a more direct feeling of freedom.
Speaker 3:
10:07
Uh, it's usually lasts exactly as long as it takes for them to get sick or hurt. But, uh, you know, that's, that's freedom to, um, that's when the adults in most of the people who do not use this plan, uh, they all live over in yours, in the city, which is, it's actually a district or like an annex of black roads. It's not, it's totally its own city. Uh, but that's where all the super rich people live. Uh, and they don't like this plan because they prefer to work like 15 hour days on these big money making projects, and then they spend that extra money on the like deluxe version of the, uh, plans and security that everybody else gets for free. Uh, and sometimes I sort of try and understand them by thinking that like for them, this is, you know, their life is like a video game and their bank account number is the high score and their lavish lifestyle and the fancy version of what all the plebs get is the epic loot and the treasure you get.
Speaker 3:
11:02
You know, um, I think it's kind of odd, but then again, look at me, you know, who cares what I think is odd and you know, besides now that everybody's basic needs are taken care of. Well it's not like the score chasers are actually hurting anyone or taking anything. So you do what you want. And I think overall this is a pretty good system. So I have no ethical qualms working at the department of often moderation. Even though my work there, it's, it's freelance. I don't exactly, you know, I'm not nine to five. Of course that would not work for me. I just come by from time to time or when they've sent me frantic emails, uh, asking for help, um, may come debug this code that their software makes. Uh, well, you know, between you and me, I debug it like 90% of the way, not all the way because you know, job security, uh, and then I tidy up redundancies and figure out how to make things more efficient.
Speaker 3:
11:52
Then on top of this, I'm also in for biweekly meetings to listen to whatever the developers and creative people want. And then I turn that into code, you know, in a way I sort of, I sometimes feel like that's how I experience in person conversation with a non autistic people too where it's like, okay, this person just spent like three minutes telling me what they want. And the takeaway is that they want the interface to be blue, not green. Okay, great. So anyway, it's nice to get a decent piece of side cash basically. Uh, you know, just translating, neurotypical, talking to something that is efficient and clear. I hope that wasn't a huge like slice on neurotypicals I had, I don't mean that, of course it's just if, if 99% of the world is using windows and you're just the one guy using Linux your whole life, eventually it could get a little exhausting. So, you know, forgive, forgive a little, a little snipit.
Speaker 3:
12:45
Well, as you can hear, and this is some interesting information for me, this device, it makes my thoughts very conversational. It makes it sound very much like it's mirroring non-autistic speech, which cause this is not even how I would frame sentences in my own brain. But even even this sort of introspection right now that your hearing, well like it's not not autistic to be introspective, quite the opposite, but the way it's being phrased and put into sentences feels neurotypical to me. Like ideally this would just show flashes of pictures cause you know, I think in pictures, so you just see this like sort of vacation slide reel of the whole movie of My, like my, my point of view, my life. Uh, but still, you know, the, the voice factor that you're hearing is very important. Uh, and then also the, well, let's just put it this way, a visual element is that's for a project with a very different budget situation than this one, which is just me tinkering in my room, hoping I make something that helps other people. So that's, you know, maybe another time I could do a big visual one, but uh, for now that is what it is.
Speaker 3:
13:54
It's still, I cannot tell wondering about this, this idea that everything is still coming out very neurotypically. Like am I using this technology to express myself more truly and more honestly or am I just getting more and more efficient at pretending not to be autistic at masking the symptoms? This is a culture question to think about for sure.
Speaker 5:
14:20
Hm.
Speaker 3:
14:23
All right. Spell you have the paid up for my waffles and done some reading to kill the rest of the time for the office to open. Now I am ready to get back to work. My leg is still very sore, still got the pins and needles and I can still feel the little nanobots in there. That's all in all. I mean I know I'm, I'm very lucky. Um, I also know I'm very over caffeinated right now, which these jitters is not ideal for dealing with rush hour people who are quite overstimulating as it is and considering everything that's today, I really just want to go home and get under my heavy blankets and just the rock and hum for like three days straight. But I'm not sure home is safe. And if I go home now, I'm also not coming up for days and I don't have that kind of time because I really need to get my last paycheck from work as I said.
Speaker 3:
15:09
And I also need to get Robert the barbarian to come and help me. Um, and then again also this worms moods. It's in, uh Oh boy. It's in another week so I have to be getting a little bit more done. Okay. I cannot concentrate on recording this journal while also walking through rush hour traffic favoring my non shot leg, having one hand in my hoodie pocket to use my fidget box so I can keep some sort of semblance of internal rhythm dealing with the bus. Yeah. Okay. It's already, it's too much even explaining it. So going into a, turn this off and turn it back on once I get outside my office building. Alright. Oh,
Speaker 2:
16:16
all right. So welcome back. I'm now outside of this big tall office building that's I call my job. And the commute was of course, horrible. Just full of people being loud, crowding me, open mouth, coughing, uh, playing games on their devices with no headphones and clipping their nails on the bus. Like, excuse us, the basically everything I hate. That's one of the many reasons I could not have a full time job. You know, I could do lots of jobs just fine, I think. But it just getting to and from the work is a nightmare. Yeah. I joke sometimes whatever job it is I have, I'm really being paid just to survive the commute. All right, so I'm trying to time my entrance into these revolving doors, which also by the way, who invented revolving doors, who was like, oh yeah, you know, doors, they're pretty cool, but you know what?
Speaker 2:
17:02
They're not stressful enough. Let's combine a door with a food processor and then that'll be better. At least there should be designated in an outdoors during rush hour so you don't get the situation I'm in, which is when you've got people coming out of the door that I'm trying to come in, but they're not leaving enough room for me to get into the door segment. They were just in, so I have to wait for the next one, but then there's a million out there of people inside. It's going to do the same thing. There's a million people behind me trying to get in and they're mad at me for not just flinging myself into this tiny gap of a death trap. Honestly, this is worse than getting shot. All right. It's good to try and acrobat through this gap. Yeah. All right. Okay, good. Well done. Me. I am in the segment not to decapitated, capitated. Excellent.
Speaker 3:
17:44
Now I am into the lobby. All right. This massive lobby, it
Speaker 5:
17:50
is so comfortable to me. Okay. So the air is the exact perfect temperature and humidity that you don't even notice the temperature or humidity at all. And it's perfectly quiet too because there's these wall mounted speakers that deploy some gentle white noise in opposition to all the ambient noise and any talking even as it happens like in lifetime. So it's perfectly quiet.
Speaker 3:
18:15
It's like out in nature quiet. It's like I hear getting accidental ASM are today. I guess I sometimes come to this lobby just to be quiet, but I get self conscious sitting there by myself and I do get pestered by security after awhile. Even though I work here, I still have to prove it's because I look a, well, let's just say, not entirely shuffled.
Speaker 3:
18:37
All right. I'm getting in line for security now. There's a woman in front of me has on her device talking to someone and she looks like the type who would refuse to put her cell phone away once you reach a security and cause some sort of scene. I bet you wants to cause a scene. Actually, I thought there's anyone on the other end of this voice call. It's all just a big attention thing. Oh em gee. She actually just said, do you know who you're talking to? I thought that was just an old movies. That is a hilarious. All right. I'm switching to a different line though because this is stressing me out of the play this morning. Collins says the annoyingly chip or a robot who is a welcomer to the building and look, I realize something has to be done with these older service bots and this is a final, a task for them as anything, but personally I just don't appreciate yet another source of sensory input into this experience.
Speaker 3:
19:27
I also think it's like a little cringey to be the kind of person who really likes this, like the good old meme of older women getting asked for id at a bar and that literally it makes their day like not joking. It's all downhill from somebody pretending to think they're not 21 for money, like get a grip. Oh, I am really bitchy when I'm totally out of Manna and stressed out. I'm sorry, I'm going to look back on this journal entry and be ashamed of it psych and never listened back to them. Okay. The fragrance of the foil is indeed scones. Yes. You could smell the currents and orange zest and everything. It's pleasant about yet another input for me to manage among on. Fascinating. My gauntlets going to have to put that through the scanner and I do feel a bit naked without it.
Speaker 3:
20:11
But so it goes. So the way you get into security is there is a tiny pinprick that ids your through your blood, which you do get used to that feeling it's not so bad. Here we go. Nope. I'll tell know the the sleeve of my hoodies getting in the way. Oh, I didn't move it in times and the needle just poked the sleeve of my hood. Oh crap. It's going to get my assassins blood. There's still some of it on the Hoodie sleeve. Oh no, it's fine. Don't worry about it. It'll be fine because it only registered as the blood of people that work here and that guy seems to be more in the a bandit stimulant addiction business. Then civil service you. So it's
Speaker 2:
20:48
just going to give me, that's awful error noise coming up. It's like [inaudible]
Speaker 2:
20:54
Murdoch Ogilvy clearance level 11 says the automated voice 11 holy bats balls. I'm level four and I could basically screw up the entire coding situation at this place if I wanted to. Well that's only because I know of a big loophole in their system, which I'm planning on catching and fixing and asking for like a huge amount of money at a later date, but level of 11 well first of all, who is this guy that wants to kill me that he works here and is level 11 I do not know this name, Murdoch Ogilvy at all. What even is level 11 I could get into massive trouble for impersonating someone with that much more power than I have. Oh, I need to find someone to admit this too. Besides you all I'll, but of course there's nobody human here. It's all just automated and all the Sensor Mano taskers well, if Ogilvy is missing then it's just a matter of time before they realize and they can see quite easily that he logged into work here just just now I eat me and then they could go to the cameras, see me and it's all over.
Speaker 2:
21:57
Okay. In terms of worst days of my life. There was that day that yams, my first Mug moppets goes into a car accident and died and right after that is today and depending how this shakes out, it is a close contender for sure. Oh, okay, great. I'm getting pushed by the people behind me and not, you know, cough that or passive aggressive things said on the breasts. I am being physically shoved forward, which gives me a little flash of a meltdown coming on the horizon. What the fun. All right, I've got my golf look back, which is something at least furiously stemming my fidget device in the hoodie pockets, which fortunately a, this pocket is high enough on my chest that it does not look like I'm, you know, a pervert. All right. Stepping into the elevator, it's a bit louder, but what can you do?
Speaker 2:
22:39
All right. This elevator is filling up. I'm towards the back of it. There are these nice yellow circles painted onto the floor at regular intervals. It's like three by three. There's nine in total and the circles are supposed to indicate where you stand and by implication how many people fit into a full elevator. It's a good system. Now the doors are just closing. Oh. But of course there's always one person who decides that, oh, they couldn't technically physically fit in and they're in some special category of hurrying. So the near the capsule, this elevator and not just wait for the next one and today is no exception. Oh Great. And today that guy is my friend that Robert the bar to Berrien who I do want to talk to later, but not, we're not wearing now I need a minute. I need a minute to think about everything that's just happened.
Speaker 2:
23:24
Oh, you can see everyone in the elevator trying to hold their ground on the little spot in the floor. But he's like six foot eight, three 50 and he just pulls through everyone. All right. I'm pulling my hood up and fidgeting with my gauntlet. I don't want him noticing me and striking up a conversation and that would mean that everyone in the elevator would associate me with this route guy, which is the last thing I want. Okay, good. He has back to me and he's ringing sweat from his big red beard, which is so gross. What? What's that sound? There's silence in this elevator has been broken by what sounds like dozens of ball bearings hitting metal. Oh, it's all these nanobots I've had cleaning my wound and when they've done their job they just fall out. Expended. So yeah. Great. Now it looks like I'm just like peeing mental beans out of my trouser leg.
Speaker 2:
24:10
Everyone's looking and I can barely stand to raise my eyes to Roberts. I do. Yup. Sure enough he is looking right at me. Is Wet eyes glistening in anticipation and his mouth. It's like a perfect shape, like capital letter d and he's making a face like he's just told a joke and he's waiting for me to laugh at it. I'm sorry yams rip, but today is looking like their worst day. Now Turn Stu, is that you? It's been almost a month since I've sued you. Badu, he bellows like a bread beer to the light house. He's talking way too loudly for this small space and several people duck and cover their ears. Myself included, I am dying of embarrassment. Hello Robert. I say in a quiet speaking voice hoping he catches on and matches my volume. I don't enjoy having to hear my normal speaking voice. I've already gotten quite used to this voice you're hearing now and it's actually a bit upsetting to go back to my old one, but I'm not going to use the device as speaker and then have a whole conversation about my mind reading device here in the elevator where I'm already trying to attract as little attention as possible.
Speaker 2:
25:19
Look, Gurus Server Sta as I live and breathe inside voices please Robert. I speak in my awful Barth voice but at least inside voice that's not even 24 hours since my new voice and I'm already treating the old one like a bitter ex. This is only on the fourth floor and we work on the 30th Marilyn Manson helped me toaster the toes through the most black roses. Toast one today. Who are you going to text toast. Bustos we reach. I'm trying to think of another. Let's go through the alphabet. Well, it's not said someone else into elevator. A true hero in my opinion. The rest of the elevator agrees and murmurs and support, but no murmur has ever been noticed by Robert ever. He's holding his fingers to count on now, which I suppose is helpful to him while doing his ABC's. Now I'm a zero position to judge people for using tools to help with tasks that most other people consider easy.
Speaker 2:
26:18
But you know, considering his tremendous size, it is quite a picture is all I'm saying. Aosta bolster Kosta dosed at Usda foods booster ghoster Oh, toaster oven, Robert. It's not playing on the words. If you're just using the name itself, it's like saying, oh, your name is mason. More like stone mason. That's what it is. That's what it means. Well, if black Sabbath can rhyme, generals gathered in their masses just like witches after black masses, I could ride him to stew with Tosta. Yes, totally. And the logos. Robert, I say using all the knowhow. I have learned for how to sound sarcastic. I stumbled on the words analogous, which is probably a sign that my manner is very low and I will need to rest very soon. Yes, it's you and black sabbath and then the rest of the world oblivious. He continues. Well, well, what about to Robert?
Speaker 2:
27:22
You've called me LG toaster toast, roller toaster toast of the town, Venti decaf dark toast with extra foam and a biscuit. You've called me every decent and the many dubious a wordplay is based on my name. That is possible. Ooh, he says dejected bearing and expression like a child who's just skinned his knee and is looking around for their mother to see if they should start crying yet. Who wrote about two black roses? Toast one, two, yes. Exclaims everyone in the elevator concurrently. Ooh, right. No need to shout. Finally, we're here. We exit the elevator onto our floor looking out over a great beige cubical bank. The lights and sounds are obviously unacceptable to me, so I've been modding a little customized cubicle, which you can see from the elevator bank and it's got a little tent in it and that blocks out most of the fluorescent lights.
Speaker 2:
28:18
And then of course I have my earplugs at all times. There's a little door buzzer I've installed outside my cubicle and altered just to turn on a gentle blue light inside my tent whenever anybody pushes it and wants to talk to me. But luckily in all the years I've been here by now, people know that I just preferred to be emailed, even if I'm right nearby. That's Ed Roberts cubicle shares a wall with mine, which means I can hear all of his bellowing and crashing around. Of course, making our way over there. My thoughts finally returned to this handle blood situation. Just getting access to the building as Ogilvy is actually a bit of a useless risk as it doesn't, it doesn't get me any of his level 11 access, but it has been recorded. I'd have to use his blood again to get onto whatever floor he works on our to operate any console as him.
Speaker 2:
29:06
Oh, that's an idea. I could log on to my own console as Ogilvy and then changed my, as in my Laguna Maria says, access level to something higher than it is. You know, when the, once I've done that, then I can just leave well alone for a few weeks and then later just begin gently tinkering around with higher clearance if it seems safe. Oh, you know, this could all be an avenue to get me into the worms moved for sure. Or embedded could also get me into a lot of other cool places. Not to mention, I've really want to know who this guy is and why you want wanted to kill me. Beating level 11 I mean that's a level of power where if you wanted someone dead, you pay or you someone with less power to do it, you wouldn't try to do it yourself. And I wonder if he was drugged or blackmailed or something.
Speaker 2:
29:49
It gives me the chills. I take great care to use only my right thumb to log into my own console. Since that's a finger that has no blood on it. Good. It's smart to have logged on us myself asap, so at least there's a record of that and considering the login downstairs in the lobby, I really cannot risk lugging and as Ogilvy once again, you know once, yeah, that's a weird glitch. Twice is basically espionage from my plan to increase my own security. I'd have to use someone else's console, but I don't know who else is I could use watch. It's Roberta. Yup. Barbaric from the other side of the wall talking to some others who I can't hear. What do you have been flirting for months now? I have old for sure. You would finally hookup Friday. No, just did you not leave the bar together?
Speaker 2:
30:37
Well what did you do that and if not it, how do you play rampage together and then not to go home and read page? How do you play joust and not trouser? Josh, how would you play dig dog and not to do do it. I hate to say this, but the Roberts would be the best person who's console I should use to switch my permissions at this activity is discovered. Nobody could possibly confuse him for a cunning saboteur. I also want to take a moment and say that contrary to how is probably a sounding right now, I really like Roberts and he's one of my best friends who I actually see IRL often. He, he just, well, he's never quite gotten to grips with me being very sensitive to loud noises and being interrupted and being touched a lot to what she does and even though I don't dislike him personally for these things, they are a drain on my manna and there's just nothing I can do about that.
Speaker 2:
31:36
Also, if you're an anxious person, you know this, but sometimes people who are very oblivious or clumsy or not subtle, they can be really stressful to be around because you're always waiting for them to blurt out something private or kick a glass of water onto a laptop or what have you. And this is true of Robert's, but I do also sometimes feel that I can benefit from just seeing him. So present and unbothered about things though in turn of course, sometimes I envy that's rather than admire it because really I have to draw a line at this conversation he's having is absolutely not nice. I think I come out of the tent and see that as expected. He's talking to our friend and colleague Alice. Uh, so she's a nerd golf. Um, talking to her about not hooking up with her crush Dixon who is a cyber goth like me, a tote stole my hair a few years back and obviously I have forgotten all about that.
Speaker 2:
32:27
It ticks in his big into Raves, but she also never really seems happy about anything. But there have been rumors that they're dating for awhile. So I think this conversation is like unbelievably in appropriate for anywhere, let alone at work. But everyone's laughing in a sincere looking away and there's a little handy holding between Alice and Dixon, Eh, they're giving each other a lovey dovey looks in between laughing with Roberts but also then with themselves. Okay. All right. I misjudged. It looks like this is more of a a, the joke is on Robert situation like it seems like they've been obviously dating dating for awhile and then Roberts is just the last to know. So he's playing along with this sort of character of being the last to know. All right, okay. That that's not as inappropriate while he was second last to know, obviously I can always be relied on to fill the role of final two.
Speaker 2:
33:13
No, I have no idea what the function of this little Lark is here, but everyone seems amused and no harm done. So what is still, I've got to get Robert Away from his desk so I cough a bit passive aggressively. They all notice me and seem a bit annoyed at my interrupting their joking. But that moment is interrupted. With what at first I think is a fog horn, but it is actually just Roberts erupting into seismic laughter and I can physically here his spittle slapping against Dixon's vinyl dress. Ooh, you wrote together the rule ready. He bellows pointing at their handholding. You'll roll to May I present exhibit gay, uh, sound like an orgasmic Tuba explodes from Roberts' mouth and he begins wiping away tears of laughter with a red furry knuckle. And I'm still standing there of course and couldn't begin to guess what my face is doing.
Speaker 2:
34:04
Luckily Alyse gathers everyone up saying well come along and she's got left, have to do and we know that sensitive to noise that's gets a cup of coffee and we can all catch up. I thank her though. I'm sure I don't do a good job looking sincere because I'm very tired. I don't think Alice is a formally autistic but she's very nerdy and depreciate. It's quiet and focus. So at least I know we have that in common and you know her getting my, they them pronouns correct is always much appreciated. So I do, I'm fond of Alice. The group heads off to the break room, which I now see has more people in it. Then this whole cubicle area, I think everybody's just evacuated when Robert is on one of his [inaudible]. All right, this is perfect. Nobody about, I worry momentarily that I have to ask Robert for help on my quest later as well and I'm starting off this alliance with a secret.
Speaker 2:
34:56
All right? Basically a total betrayal and that I would really rather him not know, but time is a necessity here and I will endure him thinking I'm the bad person if it saves the world from the big air dragons. Honestly, this is the sort of rational valuation that's other people seem to resent in me, so just consider me bookmarking this event for future trouble. I swoop over to Roberts cubicle and I'm sure it looked more like walking than anything remotely as cool as a swoop, but I've still got this shadow we've Hoodie, so I'm going to allow myself the word swoop. I squeezed my blood soaked sleeve on the ID scanner and just as it scans, a horrible thought occurs to me. See when you log in from any console, your desktop or stores to how it was when the user
Speaker 3:
35:38
last logged off. So the user, cause it's my, the blood will be Ogilvy and not to Robert. So it's good to restore his desktop, including any browsers that may have been open to social media pages. So if this Ogilvy character had for instance, got his my face page open, like that has an automatic opt out camera chat, which is, you know, most people just love to pop in and video chat with each other. So if someone is already trying to talk to him as this going to be like, oh, hello Ogilvy's on the click and then boom my face feeling up the entire screen. Oh, shy, I load background ambience by tabletop audio, everything else by Josh Burgess. If you liked this project, please consider supporting it at patrion.com/the Josh pit and please write a review on iTunes. Special thanks to new cyber fan, nick cyber patriot. Melissa cyber sponsors. Chris, Dan, John, Matt and Giulia and Cyber Dungeon near clover.
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