Escaping the hospital Angel and May find themselves out of sorts in an unknown world. Where will they go to escape unwelcome attention? The rough end of the town of course and into the clutches of a number of strange characters. I wonder what will happen?
Angel and May is an audio-only podcast, produced by a not-for-profit group of community theatre supporters.
See more on our website: www.angelandmay.com
Please support us through our Patreon page as we have no other source of income.
Escaping the hospital Angel and May find themselves out of sorts in an unknown world. Where will they go to escape unwelcome attention? The rough end of the town of course and into the clutches of a number of strange characters. I wonder what will happen?
Angel and May is an audio-only podcast, produced by a not-for-profit group of community theatre supporters.
See more on our website: www.angelandmay.com
Please support us through our Patreon page as we have no other source of income.
EPISODE 4 - SHOCK IN A FROCK
TITLE MUSIC.
FRONT PORCH
HOSPITAL SOUNDS
INT. NEW LONDON MEDICAL FACILITY
(ALEX, DR ELLINGTON, MACALLISTER, SHARROW)
DR ELLINGTON
Sounds like paranoia, to me.
ALEX
Doc. if you look up any records
the, person or persons who did this
could have tracers on this files. I
don't know what the hells going on
but I used to be in the CIS and the
cops. Trust me, I really think you
should just get me and that other
chick out of here as soon as
possible. We need to be gone off
grid ASAP.
DR ELLINGTON
Nurse I think we need a sedative
here.
ALEX
Look I'm not about to go crazy and
attack you, but can I please speak
to the other person who was found
with me. She could confirm my
story. Look do me a favour will you
please? Just be really careful, I
might be nuts, but just in case,
make sure the Doc does not enter
the records, understand?
MACALLISTER
Well, that very irregular, I don't
have the authority.
ALEX
Look I understand that but at least
can you try, I don't want to see
you guys hurt. So is she awake yet,
next door?
MACALLISTER
Ahh, yes, I think so, but go easy
she's took longer to come around
for some reason.
MACALLISTER
Hello! Hi here have a sip on this
water and take it easy, you're in
the public hospital. I really don't
know why, but somehow I think it's
best if let this lady explains. You
were found together.
ALEX
Sharrow is that you?
SHARROW
Ahh.. Maybe, but who the hell are
you? Stop staring like that it
creeps me out.
ALEX
Its me Sharrow! Its Alex!
SHARROW
Your not Alex! Oh shit, she's gone!
ALEX
Look I can't explain this, but you
need to trust me. Something really
bad has happened, we need to get
out of here and hide. I think we
are in danger.
COUGHING
SHARROW
Hand me that glass will you.
Thanks. Wait a minute, what the
hell are you talking about. I'm
sure its just a dream. Hell how do
you know about my dreams. Ahh, this
is weird, your not Alex you look
nothing like her. The last I saw
of, she was having a really bad day
and so was I for that matter. I
don't appreciate you jerking me
around using the name of a dead
friend. My friend was, (pause) more
mature.
ALEX
OK OK!Let me think, how can I
convince, you, oh OK.
(Sounds of mumbling under
her breath as she works
the angles.)
ALEX
OK lets try this, my middle name is
Lucy, we met at High-cliff Boarding
School, I like guns and girls not
necessarily in that order.
Convinced, look we really don't
have time for this!
SHARROW
So, I hear the words and see the
mouth move, but everything you have
said could lifted from the records,
anyone with a bit of IT smarts
could know that. So, actually, no I
don't believe you from what you
just said. Also my eyes just don't
believe you.
ALEX
Oh for goodness sake, how much more
must I do to convince you.
(Slightly frustrated
voice)
ALEX
OK, one last go, lets try this, I
had a small tat on my backside of a
golden crown.
SHARROW
So lets get this straight. You're a
complete stranger to me OK, and the
first thing you do is tell me,
about a tattoo on your butt. Are
you insane?
ALEX
Yes probably, maybe, definitely,
but we have just got to get out of
here. One slight thing to consider
though, I apparently have a young
attractive butt!
(Sharrow laughing)
SHARROW
Then thats good then because if I
remember your old ass was starting
to sag!
ALEX
What! Oh never mind.
SHARROW
Yeah feel free if it makes you any
better. They say beauty is in the
eye of the beholder. I'm beholding.
ALEX
Is it there?
SHARROW
Hmmmm. No tattoo but there is a
faint marking almost like something
used to be there.
ALEX
What, oh its like the scars, oh
hell that sucks man. To take that
butt pain and then get no gain,
just ain't right.
SHARROW
Ok enough, already, I'm almost
convinced, but totally freaked out
right, so give me a few moments.
Mind you only my Alex Angel would
be more concerned about her tats
than her re-life. Anyway I knew
from the moment you came into the
room, just wanted to make you
squirm.
ALEX
Sharrow gurl I'm going to spank
you!
SHARROW
Promises, promises. Hell I just
wanted to see if I could get you
with you pants down. It was
actually really easy.
(Sounds of laughing and
hugging)
ALEX
Its good to see you're alright, if
my memory serves we were having a
really terminal day.
SHARROW
Yep, ugh, horrible.
ALEX
I was serious about needing to get
out of here. We need to self
discharge and find a place to stay.
We need some cash and you
definitely need a hair cut and
ultimately we need new ID's and to
lay low until we figure this out.
Wait up thats also really strange
You know you had those slightly
wonky teeth.
SHARROW
I beg your pardon!
(Indignant)
ALEX
Slightly wonky, but attractive
teeth. Well look at the mirror!
SHARROW
Jeez they are perfect now. Thats
level one, creepy my friend.
ALEX
Oh and the other thing and this,
mind blowing, so prepare yourself
OK. What do you think the date is?
SHARROW
14 Apr 2023 ?
ALEX
Mere, wrong! Way, way out, the date
is 1st November 2075.
SHARROW
What, thats, hmmm, 32 years. Oh
Shit, that means, Marie and Kris?
Kris would be nearly sixty by now
and what about Marie?
ALEX
Exactly, but Shas, we need to be
careful, if they are alive, they
may be in hiding, we could expose
them. We are running blind on all
levels. I'm pretty certain Kris got
away, saw her scrambling before it
all blew up. Gut feel she's a
survivor.
SHARROW
You know when I woke up, in that
moment of disorientation the first
person I thought of was you, the
second was Kris. I must really love
you guys.
ALEX
Stop it I'm getting misty, but its
true, always have since the first
days of school. You're much better
looking nowadays though!
SHARROW
Bitch!
TRANSISTION HOOK
FADE IN BAR
INT. BAR
(SLIM)
SLIM
You know some folk can handle all
kinds of ructions, others, well
they'll go to pieces over the
smallest things, but these two
broken puppies, well they just
cling together when the world goes
topsy turvy.
TRANSISTION HOOK
EXT. NEW LONDON OWNERS CAVERN
(ALEX, SEKLAR, SHARROW)
CITY SCAPE
SOUNDS
ALEX
Jeez, its way bigger than you would
think for an asteroid colony. Kinda
roomy inside, like a doer upper of
a mini planet if you know what I
mean.
SHARROW
Yep, roomy but with limited views
and a ripe smell in the air. Say
look over at that square with those
fancy folks all wandering around,
not sure if this is our kinda place
gurl.
ALEX
Doesn't have the right kind of bad.
Think I need a drink so bad, my
brain needs numbing, so let us
liberate some funds carefully for
working capital. How about that
snobby looking place over there?
SHARROW
Looks kinda highfaluting for the
likes of us.
ALEX
Means big rollers, with fat
credits. Wow look at these birds
never seen that before. Thats
brilliant, they must love the lower
gees.
HUMMINGBIRDS
SHARROW
How about we just sit for a minute
over here, let it just seep in for
a moment.
ALEX
Its good to take a breath, my
head's spinning and I think we need
to make sure our actions from now
on are considered.
SHARROW
I feel really disorientated, a bit
like space lag, which given the
circumstance is understandable.
What the Hell, the good news is, we
are both young again.
(Laughter in voice)
ALEX
Yes, loads of energy, but some
bastards stole my Wabi-Saba. We
were really violated!
SHARROW
Violated, but transformed and
resurrected!
ALEX
So what do you think has happened
to us, you're the biologist.
SHARROW
OK lets me think. From a biological
point of view It's gobsmacking.
Total repair and transformation,
definitely not superficial. I think
that every cell in our bodies has
had its clock turned back. Not to
mention that as far as I can
remember we suffered massive trauma
which was repaired, so that would
be at cellular level. Its not any
science that I studied.
ALEX
We just lack information. I think
priority one is to get to a safe
place, then establish some funds
and then very cautiously make
enquires.
SHARROW
Agreed, we will also need access to
some top flight analytics, to get a
lab to discretely examine
ourselves. What kind of 'Franken
Alex' are you, for example.
ALEX
Well all I can say is this 'Franken
Alex' is that's she's thirsty, so
let's start the investigation in
that bar over there!
SHARROW
Jeez, curb that youthful
enthusiasm! You sure you're old
enough for the bar!
ALEX
Yes mum! Think of it as orientation
practice, You know, to figure out
which way is up.
SHARROW
Thought of something else as well,
I'll bet that we are actually
officially nada, deceased. I don't
want to check the records directly
of course. There is one major
benefit though.
ALEX
Whats that?
SHARROW
We are debt free, my friend, debt
free. Dead people don't have
mortgages, which is a good thing
because 32 years of interest
payments, would be bad news.
ALEX
I will definitely drink to that my
friend, definitely!
TRANSISTION HOOK
INT. SCRIMSHURE ROOMS
(ALEX, SEKLAR, SHARROW)
GERMAN BAR MUSIC
SEKLAR
You look to be new about these
parts, so I will do you a favour, I
take it you don't know about zoning
SHARROW
Zoning?
SEKLAR
Zoning, do you have the zoning
permissions for this cavern, you
need full citizenship and the right
papers, and to be honest the right
looks? You can't just walk in here
and demand a drink, we have
standards. Try Bencubbin, low town
they ain't so fussy down there.
CLOTHES RUSTLING
ALEX
Thats a fine material on the jacket
friend. Look, we have a thirst for
a drink, a purse with some coin,
and we haven't had a drink in
(pause) what seems like ages. Is it
to much to ask for a simple drink
an all. We're customers right.
SEKLAR
Sorry, no papers no drinks. Kindly
move along. I won't ask again,
Ethan here will 'help' you out that
door.
SHARROW
OK folks. Calm down, were going, we
didn't know the lay of the land, on
account of being tourists, so were
going out that door, no pain. Alex
come on lets remove ourselves from
this establishment, we'll go next
door.
SEKLAR
Try the Bencubbin, they like your
kind.
SHARROW
Well our kind don't like your kind
so thats just fine.
TRANSISTION HOOK
EXT. NEW LONDON OWNERS CAVERN
(ALEX, SHARROW)
ALEX
That was seriously weird man, that
was some serious hostility, I feel
like a complete back birth. I don't
even know, what I don't even know.
Its like starting out with you
brain pan hollowed out!
Mind you, da, dah, bingo! Do you
think he will miss it?
SHARROW
Five minutes and we are already
doing a little light fingered
crime! Thats a record, lets move,
that 'Bencubbin' sounds interesting
and it's bound to have a bar!
ALEX
He was a dick so he deserved this,
I don't feel, guilty. So I need to
turn this into credits, we need a
post office, then a bar. I'm as dry
as a witches ditty!
Sharrow sighs
SHARROW
You and your witches, and your
ditties.
ALEX
Ha, a women's got to have some
distractions plus I now have all
those youthful hormones, remember!
We are the detritus queens, we must
step forward and clean!
SHARROW
Ha, so that's our motto 'Angel and
May, we thrive on detritus. What's
say we sally forth and in filth for
that drink?
ALEX
So I will need to ditch this wallet
ASAP. Is that an information board
for the transit.
ALEX
Looking at this, we have to go four
caverns over. Place is split into
multiple caves, by function, I
think.
BUTTON TAPPING
This fancy pants place is the
owners parklands cavern, there is
an 'industrial' then something
called 'the warren', financial,
then something called the Dirksen.
BUTTON TAPPING
ALEX
Oh here it is, we need
'Widmanstaten Square' its in the
'Bencubbin'. Eight stops down on
something they call the hyper-tube.
SHARROW
Well then, lets go, unto the tube,
dear friend. I think that wallet
could get stuffed down the back of
a seat don't you.
TRANSISTION HOOK
INT.NEW LONDON BENCUBBIN CAVERN
(ALEX, SHARROW)
BENCUBBIN
AMBIENT
SHARROW
Well this looks promising. They
have the lighting set to dusk.
ALEX
Yep, its got that right level of
night sleaze.
SHARROW
Miss Alex Angel, what you trying to
say?
ALEX
Only saying its more like you and
me. The so called 'detritus
queens'. Hmmmm whats that area over
there?
SHARROW
Ha, look at that small tag to the
left, on the post.
ALEX
Its a stick figure of a girl, with
a hoop over her head, I think. Oh,
thats so cute. Its an Angel gurl,
that nice of them to do a picture
of me.
SHARROW
Yep, but she's wearing a skirt,
having seen you in a skirt for
years! Mind you with the total body
make over, you could pull one off!
Though I can't see the little head
halo thingy, perhaps it only lights
up after dark. Lets explore!
ALEX
Ho, ho very funny. Oh! I like that
sign.
BUZZ OF NEON
SHARROW
Gun's and a pawn shop, perfect.
TAPPING GLASS
SHARROW
No guns in the window, whats at the
back.
ALEX
Never put anything in the window,
not around here. Any the good
stuff, if they have any well be
hidden. We have to come back to
check it out.
SHARROW
Thats a rob on that for sure.
ALEX
Ahh, cheap bastard! That bar guy
may have had fancy cloths but he
was light on his account. I don't
think our first priority is a gun
to be honest.
SHARROW
I never thought I would hear you
say that!
ALEX
Well different body , different
space and time. So about that
drink?
DISTANT SIDEREAL
JAZZ
SHARROW
Hear that, the music is a calling?
ALEX
Its sounds like sidereal jazz
fusion, its coming from that alley
over there.
SHARROW
Neck's division, its so
claustrophobic down there, you sure
you want to go in.
ALEX
Well where the hell, else do we go?
SHARROW
Look at that, you see that old
suit, don't think I would want to
wear that. Kill you for sure.
STREET VENDER
SIZZLING
JAZZ MUSIC
GROWING LOUDER
ALEX
It's like an old smugglers inn,
look at the sign and the windows.
Mum! Can I go in please! Its
calling me! I like the music!
SHARROW
Sigh, I suppose so.
PRESSURE DOOR
OPEN
MUSIC LOUDER
PRESSURE DOOR
OPEN
LOUD MUSIC
INT. RETROGRADE TAVERN
(ALEX, GANDER, RUDI, SHARROW)
ALEX
Refreshing and embracing view,
thats all I can say! Who is that
dude in the pink tutu?
SHARROW
This must be the 'ensemble way
out', way, way out. Lets head to
the bar where we will sally forth
to drink. Tutu less, I hope. Hmmm,
I'll try saying that after a
couple.
ALEX
I like the name of the band,
singers hot too.
SHARROW
Whats it called?
ALEX
SPACEPORT DOXY.
SHARROW
That figures.
BAR GLASSWARE
GANDER
So, stranger, what can I get you.
BAR GLASSWARE
SHARROW
Ur we don't have any papers or
whatever.
GANDER
Papers, we don't need papers here.
If your crackles blue, your good to
drink.
ALEX
That's reassuring, we had some
trouble over by central Hospital.
GANDER
Ah, that would be the 'Scrim-sure
Rooms'. A very 'reserved'
establishment. They only serve
folks from the financials and main
caverns. They don't like the smell
of real folks or in fact much at
all.
SHARROW
Isn't that a discriminatory? I'm
surprised that's allowed?
GANDER
Ha (snorting). You're obviously new
to town then, well you going to
have to adjust to these parts,
folks we do things differently
here.
ALEX
Sounds like a bit of a throw back.
GANDER
Say that again (She raises her
voice) But might not be wise to
criticise what you don't know. (She
leans closer) My advice is for you
not to make comments until you
understand. Could get you in
trouble.
You're already upsetting folk cos
those hospital Ox tabs have
expired. That could be very bad!
ALEX
Oxi tab, what the hells that.
GANDER
Laithwaite and Maratsuba preserve
me. Look this is a closed Asteroid,
nothing is free, you have to pay
for your consumables, air, water,
all that stuff. Now that hospital
tab is good inside the hospital,
but as soon as you leave its
cancelled. You have to buy a tab
like this.
VELCRO SOUNDS
GANDER
Have no valid tab is a felony, get
jail time and labor, then to repay
the oxygen you stole, you do more
labor. If the tab's got no credits
on it, it turns red see. You girls
need to tab up, like now, get a
green tab.
SHARROW
So where do we get a tab? Let me
guess you sell them.
GANDER
Dam right too, wouldn't be honest
not to.
ALEX
Why, somehow, am I not surprised.
GANDER
OK smart ass, carry on then like
that and it'll get you thrown out a
lock around these parts.
ALEX
Oh really?
Alex starts to raise her self up.
SHARROW
Whoa, simmer down girls, lets not
get too punchy.
GANDER
I can assure you I do not punch, I
don't need to.
RUDI
So who's punchy round these parts.
SHARROW
No, no ones punchy at all. In fact
we're just about to purchase tabs
aren't we Alex?
ALEX
Yes, we are, feel like tabbing up.
RUDI
Well, thats reassuring then. GANDER
I'll have me a sidereal with a
splash of rocket.
SOUNDS OF DRINK
BEING POURED.
ALEX
So how much are these ah, tabs
then?
GANDER
200 for the device and minimum
charge is 1000 credits. 1000 last a
couple of weeks before you need to
recharge.
SHARROW
Jeez, that means we have to earn
money here just to breath.
GANDER
Thats about it, see that sign, I'll
light it up for yah.
NEON SIGN
RUDI
Before you ask, it means "There
Ain't No Such Thing As A Free
Lunch", Its a famous saying,
originated on the moon I do
believe.
ALEX
Hmmm, Does it now, sounds tough.
SHARROW
But fair, very fair, reasonable I'd
say, wouldn't you agree Alex?
ALEX
Ahh, I do believe so, maybe.
GANDER
Well thats good then, other wise we
would have to disagree. I don't
like to disagree, can give folks
indigestion.
SHARROW
Sooo, then we'll take two but we're
little short at the moment only 500
on each please.
GANDER
Little short on the oxygen there
girls,
SHARROW
Well, we have,(pause) pecuniary,
issues.
GANDER
Do you now, well if you're short be
careful not to over stay, don't
want any issues see. So what do you
wanna drink?
ALEX
Whats cheap?
GANDER
Nothing, were on an asteroid, but
you might try the oily ring, its a
mule of a drink. Kinda a tradition,
for the first time at the
Retrograde.
ALEX
Is there a second time?
GANDER
Not often! A mule is a cross
between a donkey and a horse, some
folks say they're better than both,
they can't have kids though.
(GANDER laughs)
GANDER
Don't panic, I'm not going to
poison yah, yet. Not good for
business! So what brings you to
this here (pause) establishment.
SHARROW
Don't take this the wrong way but
we didn't plan to be here. Its a
very long complicated story.
GANDER
Sigh, look stories they are usually
long. Not sure a want to hear it
anyway. In my book a women's
business stays her business unless
it spills over to my side. There is
something about you two, can't put
my finger on it, but you got the
sign. Rudi over there is a good
judge of character.
SHARROW
She a customer?
GANDER
Solid Regular, family really, like
most of the Royal and Cherry,
Blues.
ALEX
The who?
GANDER
I can see you have a lot to learn.
The Royal and Cherry Blue Storms,
they are local regiment round these
parts, kinda of like the local
police force.
ALEX
Yep, I noticed a few folks carrying
those ribbons and all military
like.
GANDER
That they are, and I tell you, it a
privilege to have them here, make
no mistake.
SHARROW
So we need a place to hole up and
take in the scenery. Can you
recommend a hotel?
GANDER
You mean around these parts. Hmmm,
might have to think a little, I'll
get back to you.
ALEX
To be expected, I guess. Say we
might not like too much attention
from those authority type folks
from the posh cavern, would that be
a problem?
GANDER
Like I said have to think. Now that
drink, two 'Oily Rings'?
SOUNDS OF GANDER
MOVING OFF
ORDERING THE
DRINKS FROM ONE
OF THE BAR KEEPS
SHARROW
That was intense.
ALEX
Intense but not unexpected looking
at the place, mind you she's is
actually getting us a drink so
thats a plus.
SHARROW
Hmmm.
(GANDER wanders over to
where Rudi is standing
drinking with other Royal
and Cherry Blue's and
starts discussion
something, there are a
couple of glances in Alex
and Sharrow direction.
Rudi moves over to where
the girls have gone to
sit.)
RUDI
Been asked to do a good friend a
favour. She says there something
strange about you two. Something
about old eyes and all that. Now
myself I'd kick you out straight
away, young girls drinking in a bar
such as this. Its plain
disgraceful. However she is a very
good friend, heart of gold and all
that, so I'm going to ask you all
nice like. Should she have anything
to worry about from you two?
ALEX
Well, I think your friend might
have it all wrong see.
RUDI
Oh hows that, she's usually right.
ALEX
Were not looking for any trouble.
RUDI
Tell me more.
SHARROW
Trouble might be looking for us,
see.
RUDI
Ah I see, OK then, sometimes can't
be helped, trouble, usually too
clingy. Might this trouble, be the
determined kind thundery kind.
ALEX
Might be, actually we don't know,
but best assume stormy weather.
RUDI
Sensible, well I can tell you, you
were not followed.
SONG FINISHES
DISTANT CHEERING
ALEX
How do you know?
RUDI
Oh we know.
ALEX
Not sure I feel that statement is
very reassuring, or very
disturbing.
RUDI
Take either way but I can tell you
with a high degree of confidence
that you're not bugged, or traced
and your not carrying skin tech
like micro bugs. There is something
off about you, right at the edge,
so I'm going to be watching you,
real carefully. We don't want heavy
rain to follow you here,
understand?
SHARROW
We understand, but not sure if we
can do anything about our
situation.
RUDI
Oh we can control the local
weather.
ALEX
We?
RUDI
Oh yes, we, plural! So my friend
said you might need a place to
stay?
OUTRO SONG
STARTS - DISTANT
ALEX
Well!
RUDI
Do you, or don't you, need a place
to stay?
SHARROW
We do
RUDI
OK we can solve this.
SHARROW
Yes and where do we go?
RUDI
You're already there.
RUDI
Besides you'll need to recover from
those bloody horrible drinks you've
ordered.
SHARROW
This lot are looking at us. They've
probably spiked.
ALEX
No I don't think they would do that
somehow, kinda cowardly, don't
think that is their style.
SOUNDS OF SEATS
AND A MOVE TO
THE BAR.
GANDER
If your staying I'll need names.
SHARROW
Ahhh, OK, mines, Janet Smith
ALEX
And mines, Jill Jinx
GANDER
Well, that's real believable, but
never mind, I'll but them in the
books anyway.
SHARROW
So, you have our names, can we know
yours in return!
GANDER
Yep its jumping Jack in the box for
sure.
GANDER
Look its Kamerchov I don't have to
hide, but don't ever call me that,
hell I can't say it either. Half
the folks wouldn't know the name
anyway, Call me GANDER, everyone
else does.
SHARROW
GANDER, Uhh OK then, well thank
you. I suppose we need to get the
drink over with.
ALEX
Mule up on a couple of old 'Oil
Rings'.
GANDER
Oh! (Genuflecting) lord have mercy
on those that are about to receive.
Bye the way, the second one is
free, if you get that far.
SOUNDS OF MOVING
BACK TO TABLE
ALEX
You know she is not a she, right?
SHARROW
Yep!
ALEX
And you know this place is
definitely hooky, right?
SHARROW
Dah, yes.
ALEX
And you know I really, really like
it here, right?
SHARROW
Dah! Shall we do the 'Maratsuba'
ALEX
OK then!
SOUNDS OF
CHINKING GLASSES
SHARROW
They say the skies are the limit.
ALEX
But this is just the beginning!
SOUNDS OF
DRINKING
SHARROW
Uugghh! Ahhh!
ALEX
GANDER we'll have that second set,
if you please!
BACK TITLE MUSIC
END