Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the most destructive of all. Why Angel and May of course. In this episode Angel and May create havoc in a 'house of illusion', in order to rescue Rudi's son.
Angel and May is an audio-only podcast, produced by a not-for-profit group of community theatre supporters.
See more on our website: www.angelandmay.com
Please support us through our Patreon page as we have no other source of income.
Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the most destructive of all. Why Angel and May of course. In this episode Angel and May create havoc in a 'house of illusion', in order to rescue Rudi's son.
Angel and May is an audio-only podcast, produced by a not-for-profit group of community theatre supporters.
See more on our website: www.angelandmay.com
Please support us through our Patreon page as we have no other source of income.
E6 - CLOTHES IN THE MIRROR
INT. RETROGRADE INN DRESSING ROOM
(ALEX, MAURICE, SHARROW)
Two hour's later, they emerge suitably coiffured.
ALEX
SHAS, please, please, rescue me, I
feel like a complete airhead, this
cut its all girlie, I look like a
prize poodle. I'm a rock chic not a
roast chook.
SHARROW
Not today or until it grows out
gurl, think of it as operational
cover, just part of the job. You're
a bubble head tourist, thats your
new look, so get into the groove
gurl. You know I think I can
actually see your IQ dropping from
here, it's amazing! Can IQ go
negative? To be honest I'm actually
enjoying the attention, its only
been 30 years of zero pampering, We
both have a lot of catching up to
do!
ALEX
Ohh your wit is like acid, it just
cuts deep.!
MAURICE
Now girls please stop fussing, your
hair looks wonderful. Now I think a
little pink in there for you Miss
Alex. Ohhh! Beautiful! Well it will
match the grey of your eyes. I
think you might actually be a
'light spring'.
ALEX
The only thing that will spring at
the moment is my inner Panther even
Lorde agreed with me, he wanted to
give me a cat look.
MAURICE
Philistines both of you, anyway
what do you know, you arrived in
jeans and T shirts. Maurice knows
best, besides in this operation, I
out rank you and GANDER said I have
final design decisions, so your
going pink.
ALEX
Sharrow, for pities sake help me!
SHARROW
Not on your life, besides you're
going to look so cute in that pink
mini! It will match with that over
blown long sexy leatherette coat on
the rack.
ALEX
Oh my god!
MAURICE
Hush now Maurice knows best.
Fade to the sound of hair driers and primping.
INT. RETROGRADE INN SITUATION ROOM
(ALEX, JACINTA, RUDI, SHARROW)
The sound of clip clopping of high heeled shoes.
RUDI
Well, well, quite the
transformation, what do we have
here. Two bubble head tourists I
think.
SHARROW
Now look, don't you start.
ALEX
One more word and I will stab you
with my heel.
RUDI
Thats what I like to see, soldiers
using field craft and local
materials to fashion weapons.
ALEX
Ho, Ho, very funny!
JACINTA
Is that you Alex, you look so
charming!
ALEX
Ohhh, Not you as well!
RUDI
OK troops enough of the psi-ops,
come over to the holo-tank I have
set up the projection of the mirror
house up and the local area.
This shows the surrounds out to 500
meters on a side. You see here, we
will drop you some way out from the
ground zero, don't want to clue up
Charlie as to your drop off source.
They do have street spies and we
don't want any of them to connect
you in any way with us. We suspect
a couple of the stall vendors but
have not intercepted them as that
will only raise suspicions.
SHARROW
Makes sense.
ALEX
You mean we have to walk at least
500meters in these shoes?
RUDI
Yes well, just take it slow. Get
some bass in your step. Soooo, you
will be coming in from this
direction, down Travis Street. Now
here and here are hidden
operatives, privates Crystal and
Method-Pink situated in the coffee
shop on this corner with back up in
a kitchen back room.
SHARROW
Crystal & Method-Pink?
RUDI
Code names. Ah I better explain,
when inducted, all regimental
members get a code name. Its a
right of passage. It also make
communication faster.
SHARROW
What about the back, if we going to
come out it's usually always the
back way, at full tilt and always
down difficult stairs.
ALEX
Its kinda a tradition with us.
RUDI
Your a little young to have
traditions ain't you? Sounds like
you have don this sort of thing
before?
ALEX
Well, I mean a family tradition, my
Dad was in the CIS.
He used to make me do a lot of
field games, I think he had great
hopes for my military career.
RUDI
Really? So why are you here?
SHARROW
Rudi, its a long and complicated
story.
RUDI
Hmmmm. So how do you two know each
other?
SHARROW
Oh we met at boarding school and we
have been friends since then. Ah we
decided to see the solar system.
RUDI
Really? Thats ambitious for two
young girls. Look lets see I don't
believe you it sounds like a line
of cudgel, but we don't have time
to get into all that now.
SHARROW
Look, lets just say, there is
slightly more to tell, however as
you say, this thing is big and time
critical from the sound of it so
lets just focus on that shall we.
Oh and bye the way, we will
definitely break stuff, we usually
do. Alex here is a full blow
destructive test machine.
ALEX
Yes I definitely do destructive
well. So looking at this tank the
back is slightly boxed in, whats
your plan on that side?
RUDI
Your right, that's a difficult one,
all blank walls. As usual the
GANDER had an some interesting
idea's based on her revolutionary
experience.
SHARROW
Hmmm!
RUDI
The one thing folks never look at
is the Sewerage.
So we have pre positioned here,
just under this man hole. Its a
tough gig but Jacinta code name
PAPER loves front line She has
Fiona Costas with her, code name
SCISSORS, you don't know her but
competent. So PAPER and SCISSORS
are cozied up hiding with tools
under the man hole.
ALEX
Manhole, how is she going to lift
it?
RUDI
Small charge, directional, will
kick it up and outa there.
ALEX
Reassuring but smelly! I like it.
So thats rock and paper, let me
guess some one else is scissors.
RUDI
Hay, your are showing unexpected
intelligence for a bubblehead!
Scissors is the sarge, he is back
in this restaurant in the kitchens,
Restaurant owned by one of Chens
relatives. Good forward position
for force projection. Now, I'll be
back here in situation room because
it has all the key comms. If it
gets smelly I want to reassure you
that the full, and I mean full
resources of the RCBS are posed
ready to act. Is that clear.
ALEX
Crystal
RUDI
So lets talk about these houses of
mirrors.
SHARROW
I have heard very bad things,
rumours, that they are very
addictive.
RUDI
Well thats true. They give people
what they most desire, but they
also take away the most precious
thing that they have, their link to
reality and their sanity.
It so poisonous, totally insidious
really should have been be banned
long ago. The consortia behind the
houses contribute to mayoral
reelection funds. Thats when we
hate the bastards.
SHARROW
Ugh, I really am starting to hate
them too.
RUDI
Well we are going to poke the
hornets nest today, you'll see. So
Their modus operandi, is to do full
data retrieval as you step in the
door. They are already assessing
their potential earnings from you.
They will try and extract
information, assess potential
earnings, see how they can get to
your bank accounts and addict you
as soon as possible
SHARROW
Do they have telegenic readers?
RUDI
They do, top of the range stuff,
however even with that, they can
only crudely divine your thinking
though. We can't block with a mesh,
as that would alert them. The thing
to understand is they can only
broadly read pleasure or pain.
Sometimes they will hit you with an
E-wire, see what it does to your
behaviour, so watch out for that.
SHARROW
Whats the hells an E-wire?
ALEX
I heard about those, its some sort
of remote brain stimulation device
I think, really creepy stuff.
RUDI
Yes, its a burst of electromagnetic
stimulus, gives you a little jump
start, an electronic perk up. They
want you happy, makes it easier to
turn you.
ALEX
I don't like them looking at my
brain.
SHARROW
Do you think there is a finders
fee? I've been looking for some
time.
ALEX
Ho, ho, Very funny!
RUDI
Its no joke girls, this is deadly
serious. You need to assume that
every thing you do from the moment
you cross that threshold will be
monitored and stimulated. Suspect
everything, you won't know what is
real.
ALEX
So they deal in ultimate perceptual
distortions right?
RUDI
Correct, every surface is covered
in holo emitters and the floors are
all active, they move in response
to your movement. Its the ultimate
virtual reality. High def, hell on
a stick. The contacts we have
supplied will show you the edges of
the image projections, but again we
can't fully block them.
ALEX
We need to recognise your son. Do
you have pictures.
RUDI
Yes I do, but by this time he may
have had his appearance changed.
After a couple of days in the house
even the most hardy start to loose
contact with reality. The brain
gets dulled, the capacity for life
at a really low ebb.
Sound of stifled emotions and some just holding it together.
RUDI
Those bastards I don't know what
they will have done to him,
particularly as he like to dress in
a gender amorphous manner. Could
come across as a boy or a girl.
SHARROW
Rudi, look, we will get him out of
there. I promise.
RUDI
Thank you girls, I really
appreciate that you are helping. We
will give you some background which
we need to pump in via the deictic
suite, next door. Gives a hell of a
headache but saves hours of study.
SHARROW
OK, its good to see solid prep
work.
ALEX
Agreed, we don't want to be sprung
as soon as we go in.
RUDI
I need to tell you about how we
think you'll get the edge. The
first is those false nails, one of
them we have sharpened to a point
and we will coat it with a hyper
stimulant. We think it will counter
some of the effect of their drugs.
You scratch the skin and a few
seconds later they take effect.
ALEX
I was wondering why Lorde took so
long over the nails.
RUDI
The second is very devious, was
Chens brain wave really. Sooo, how
are your cloths, a little stiff
perhaps?
SHARROW
Well now you mention it, they do
seem rather over-starched.
RUDI
It's not starch.
ALEX
Scratchy as all hell!
RUDI
Its will sure scratch that mirror
house, has the detonation power of
Amerthol 21-90, with the brisance
of compo! One of my favourite
combinations.
ALEX
Jeez, what, get me out of these
things.
RUDI
Calm down they are fully inhibited
by this stuff. It's a regimental
special, thermo inhibition. The
initiator is your under arm
deodorant!
SHARROW
Ha I wondered why he said we were
smelly needing deodorising, I
thought he was being bitchy. So
thats why he kept the bottle in
that warm water bath!
RUDI
The underarm D23, as we call it.
It's a full inhibitor at body
temperature, but if it cools down,
blamo. We know they redress clients
once you in the house. They provide
fantasy outfits for you. They take
your clothes off put them on a
rack, some of the D23 has rubbed
off on the clothes, then ten
minutes later bang!
SHARROW
Well you said the clothes had
maximum impact, I can see why! Once
dressed always blessed, so to
speak.
RUDI
The idea is this explosive input
may temporarily distract them,
disrupt the power and in that
moment you can get out. Like I said
its a bake and shake operation.
SHARROW
Well thats certainly a plan. Why do
I feel like a want to constantly
itch these clothes.
RUDI
Hmmmm, this high fashion makes me
nervous, we had better get you on
you way.
ALEX
Rudi forgot the goddam explosive,
these shoes make me nervous!
EXT. BENCUBBIN NEAR MIRROR HOUSE
(ALEX, SHARROW)
Sound of electric car and a door opening and two people
getting out in the Bencubbin lanes.
ALEX
These shoes are killing me, I swear
my feet will never be the same. My
moody is not helped by my bloody
explosive nickers, and the final
indignity is that they are chafing
like hell.
SHARROW
I'll chafe you, just walk normally,
you'll give the game away. Smile
and don't worry your pretty little
head.
ALEX
Sharrow I swear I will hit you with
these bloody shoes!
SHARROW
Its such a nice day! Oh look at
those hand bags! (deliberately
ignoring Alex)
ALEX
Oh, gurl friend, lets just walk
down here further. Oh is the a
house of illusion. Shas I have
always want to get high in one of
them.
SHARROW
Well thats why were here silly, I
have made an appointment for 2:30
local. Oh thats about now, what a
coincidence.
Sound of electronic welcome at the threshold of the mirror
house. Scanning sounds, street sounds die away.
INT. HOUSE OF MIRRORS
(ALEX, MIRROR RECEPTIONIST, SHARROW, WOMAN ATTENDANT)
SHARROW
Oh did you feel that.
ALEX
(Giggling) I certainly did, look at
the door way, that so impressive.
SHARROW
Is it moving back as we get closer.
ALEX
I felt something soft just touch my
face, thats weird, but I feel so
nice.
SHARROW
Your blushing!
ALEX
We its just a little hot flush, I
feel high already.
Creaking and opening of a multitude of doors with dad dah
music.
ALEX
Look at the this place its like the
palace of Versailles. Where do we
go from here I don't see an exit at
all.
SHARROW
These large grand mirrors look like
they might be door ways. I'll try
and push one. Hmmm, its not moving.
ALEX
Try them one by one.
SHARROW
Ah this one is made of liquid, I
hear music lets go in.
Sounds of a reception area, harpsichord music is playing in
the background.
MIRROR RECEPTIONIST
Welcome ladies to this pleasure
palace. We aim to make your day
special. Please take a seat here
and here. Now before we get started
I need to ask some 'benchmarking'
questions.
SHARROW
Yes of course, no problem, ask
away.
MIRROR RECEPTIONIST
Are your names Shaben Corraza and
Alica Shaffen
SHARROW
Yes miss they are.
MIRROR RECEPTIONIST
Could you restrict your answers to
yes or no please, it makes it
easier for the record keepers.
ALEX
So are we being monitored and
recorded.
MIRROR RECEPTIONIST
Of course dear, this is a reputable
house of illusion we need to keep
good records.
ALEX
Oh, it just makes me nervous.
MIRROR RECEPTIONIST
Don't worry dear, its just normal
procedure. We only have to go
through this once.
SHARROW
Well I get money from Daddies trust
fund, its about 120 kilo credits
per year.
ALEX
Yes I have about the same from my
mother.
MIRROR RECEPTIONIST
Oh thats very generous of them, its
so good to have generous parents,
now let me check their names. Oh,
thats interesting. If you would
just wait one second please.
SHARROW
Is there a problem?
MIRROR RECEPTIONIST
We see you are from important
families. We like persons of
influence as we find they make far
more 'reliable' guests. I think we
will have a long and mutually
beneficial relationship. Through
this door please.
Sounds of a door opening and walking into a large hall like
space. There is a bleep and a thump as Alex deliberately
walks through and illusion and hits the wall.
ALEX
Oh, dear me!
WOMAN ATTENDANT
You must pardon us miss but since
this is you first visit I suspect
you may not understand the
protocols in our house.
ALEX
Oh yes I'm so very sorry, I got
slightly overwhelmed by the
magnificence of it all.
WOMAN ATTENDANT
Yes thats easily done, now if you
would like to follow me.
SHARROW
Sorry about my friend she does
sometime get carried away.
WOMAN ATTENDANT
Its no problem miss, now could you
please change your clothes, and
pick from these fabulous costumes.
We have read your measurements and
have preselected.
ALEX
Oh these clothes are so wonderful I
can't wait to try them on.
WOMAN ATTENDANT
We like to set our clients at ease
and assist with their engagement,
by dressing them accordingly. Once
you have changed please go through
the door to the viewing room. You
will find a choice of partners,
please select and indicate to the
attendant and follow instructions.
Sounds of swirling fantastical music distant in reverb dark
hall, tinkling of glass shards, distant cloud synth
SHARROW
Oh this is so exciting, theres so
much choice, now miss I like boys,
but my friend here likes girls.
ALEX
Well yes boys are a little scary
but I'm really not sure.
WOMAN ATTENDANT
Thats no problem we cater for all
tastes. I might have someone who
would be a little of both, would
that suit?
SHARROW
Oh I like this one here, what's
your name?
WOMAN ATTENDANT
This is David, he will attend you
every need. Please go through the
golden door over there.
ALEX
So this person who is a little ying
and yang?
WOMAN ATTENDANT
Well, wait one second please I need
to check the availability.
Sounds of old fashioned telephone being dialled and picked
up.
WOMAN ATTENDANT
Our guest has Gabriel, is the new
inductee available? Oh yes OK,
thank you.
ALEX
If its not too much trouble?
WOMAN ATTENDANT
No trouble miss however he/she is
rather new and perhaps somewhat
inexperienced, if you are prepared
to accept that then perhaps we can
accommodate?
ALEX
Yes that sounds very interesting
thank you I will take a look
please.
WOMAN ATTENDANT
If you could go though the
iridescent door to you left please.
ALEX
Yes I think that is acceptable, no
if you please I would like my time
to start immediately.
WOMAN ATTENDANT
Of course madam, please call if you
have any issues.
INT. MIRROR HOUSE PLAY ROOM
(ALEX, JUDE, MIRROR HOUSE GUARD, SHARROW)
JUDE
Oh who are you. I'm sorry I am very
confused and rather scared, please
don't hurt me.
ALEX
Just sit on the bed for a minute, I
just need to do something.
JUDE
Oh, you scratched my arm, what are
you trying to do?
ALEX
I'm so sorry, things will be
clearer in a minute, but lets get
familiar.
JUDE
Oh, my heads spinning, oh wow thats
a rush, whoa!
ALEX
Come to me!
JUDE
Oh I feel dizzy.
ALEX
Here hold my hand.
JUDE
Oh, I'm not sure.
ALEX
You need to do what I say, its
house rules OK.
JUDE
Oh, yes of course, they'll hurt me
again if I don't.
ALEX
Hi don't worry, my name is Alex,
your mother sent me, my partner and
I are here to get you out, but for
now you need to play along Ok?
JUDE
I'm not sure are you actually real,
they keep playing tricks on me?
ALEX
Real as an explosive welcome baby.
Any minute now there will be a big
bang as soon as the dust settles
follow me and don't slow down!
JUDE
How do I know you are real?
ALEX
You don't but lets say this is
actually real and you find yourself
out of this mind maze, then it will
be worth it, right. I expect to get
the..
Sounds of multiple muffled explosions followed by the sound
of static and crashing. Then there are ripping noises as Alex
rips some of the flouncy material, from her ball gown get up.
ALEX
This bloody costume and shoes they
are not good for running. OK lets
go.
Sounds of effort and doors being wrenched open, shouting and
general confusion.
SHARROW
Over here, I managed to disable the
security guard with a chair to the
back of the head. He found out that
it was actually a real prop!
ALEX
Good work, do you want to swap!
SHARROW
Yes your better with a gun, I'll
take JUDE
Alex squeezes off a couple of rounds
JUDE
Hi, this drug you given me makes me
so very high!
SHARROW
Its a legal high kid and it comes
from your mum, it's every teenagers
dream. Just hold on to my hand and
what every you do, don't let go.
This is not going to be a joy ride,
well it might be for you being off
your head in all, but for me, not
so much.
JUDE
OK, I guess.
ALEX
Lets get out and go right towards
the back, at least I think its the
back, this bloody active floor
really screws with the directions.
SHARROW
Wait a second we've been down here
before, that scratch on the door,
we passed it twice, they may have
us in a deictic trap. Looks like a
repeating infinite loop.
ALEX
Shit, OK put you hands down from
you feet and feel for the tile
edge. Once you have it jump off,
then we'll now were on the real
floor, forget your eyes, trust your
fingers. OK are we all off the
active tile, right now keep going
lets see if we can get past the
holo emitters. Head for a real
wall. Ignore your eyes. OK.
JUDE
This is all so confusing.
ALEX
Thats the way it was designed kid.
Trust you fingers, hold on to
SHARROWS hand. Ah, you!
SHARROW
Can't see a bloody thing except
images of myself, you there Alex?
ALEX
Over here about then meters over to
your left I think, you off your
tile line yet?
SHARROW
Yep I'm off the tile line, can you
Ohhh!
MIRROR HOUSE GUARD
Got you! Argh! Ohh Shit!
SHARROW
Ahh, Alex just kicked a guard in
the nuts, got his gun.
ALEX
Go Gurl, I'm proud of you, those
interpersonal combat classes must
have done something then!
Keep moving towards my voice, I'll,
hold on I have to get ride of this
bloody long dress.
SOUND OF RIPPING
CLOTH.
ALEX
Thats better, I can move now.
JUDE
I think its was nice on you! I like
wearing nice clothes.
ALEX
Sure you do kid, have you meet
Maurice, I just no the two of you
will get along.
JUDE
Oh I know Maurice, he dresses me
for the Wednesday night drag shows.
I really like the singing.
ALEX
Well I bet you look and sound
great. Lets just focus on getting
out of here OK.
SHARROW
I can feel a door to my left, It
must be at the same wall your at.
The door its metal, like a security
door.
ALEX
Take it, probably go to a less
secured area.
Sounds of metallic heavy door and then outside sounds
SHARROW
Thank goodness we're out.
ALEX
Were not out, I can't smell the
streets and I can see the shimmer
of the holo field. Its a trap, we
are still inside. Reverse get back.
Sounds of a scuffle, then struggle and a grunt.
ALEX
I got him, a guard tried to inject
me. I turned the needle on him.
SHARROW
Lets go to the left I can feel a
breeze, the explosion may have
breached the perimeter.
JUDE
Starting to feel sleepy.
Sounds of a face slap.
JUDE
Ow, why did you do that.
ALEX
Had to be done kid, had to be done!
JUDE
You sound like my mum. How Come
you're only twenty, you can't boss
me around.
SHARROW
Oh my goodness, this is
complicated. Stop arguing. Come on
guys get moving.
Sound of running several doors being thrown open, then
finally street noises.
ALEX
No not this one.
SHARROW
Try this.
ALEX
No, oh OK yes this is it.
EXT. BENCUBBIN NEAR MIRROR HOUSE
(ALEX, BOY, CALVIN, JACINTA, MIRROR HOUSE GUARD, RUDI,
SHARROW)
SHARROW
Get moving, they are right behind
us.
MIRROR HOUSE GUARD
Stop, or I will shoot! Ugh.
There is a metallic bang of a blown out manhole cover, sounds
of several shots, military commands, then military radio
sounds and running.
METALLIC CLANG
EXPLOSION
JACINTA
Roger that pickup confirmed, the
geese have flown, heading to point
two. Come on guys get your arse in
gear. We have you covered but that
does mean you can't take a hit.
ALEX
Thanks PAPER or is it SCISSORS,
anyway glad to see you, that
chicken coup gave me the creeps.
Any chance of rescue for the other
people trapped in there.
JACINTA
No chance I'm afraid they have been
in too long, they would never be
able to come off the drugs. OK
guys, right then left, turn left
here.
Sound of booted running feet, and doors behind opened and
latched.
BOY
Sergeant status report please.
JACINTA
No casualties sir, no equipment
loss, totally successful operation.
BOY
Thank you sergeant, well done.
Radio comms noise, talking to Rudi
CALVIN
Colonel, code green, recommend
general pull back to base alpha
effective immediate, get fire teams
back.
RUDI
Great, Thats good news Major get my
son back here I want a full
debrief, but use the back route.
CALVIN
Roger that, forming cover force now
will leave safe house Alpha 2 in
ten minutes after we have assessed
exterior situation.
Radio clicks off.
CALVIN
Sergeant, get every one into
civvies we don't want to stand out.
We will exfiltrate via the alley
route 3. Alex and Sharrow, well
done, took some balls to go in that
place. Respect to you.
SHARROW
Thank you sir, we respect your
operations very effective.
CALVIN
Thanks, not back yet and we need to
watch for retaliations over the
next few days, but it is a good as
it can get. Ok, Lets change and get
out of here. Sargent as soon as the
men are ready move out casual but
icy close formation. Concealed hand
guns only we don't want to cause to
many stares.
JACINTA
Very good sir, you heard the Major
get moving.
Sounds of people changing, clicking as weapons safe.
JACINTA
Alex, do you need a weapon?
ALEX
Yes please I don't trust this rusty
piece of shit I grabbed from the
house guard. Have you got a H&K UCP
of some sort.
JACINTA
Hmmm. You sure know a lot about
guns for a twenty year old.
ALEX
Oh thats because my dad liked to
shoot. He was in the CIS, we used
to go down the gun club together so
I picked up a few things.
JACINTA
Oh, OK Sure! Lets see, OK, try this
one, please try hard not to use it,
its last resort OK. We want to be
fast and quiet. Sharrow you need
anything? Hows Jude holding up.
SHARROW
I'm OK guns ain't really my thing.
Jude, don't think he is great, that
upper or whatever you gave him is
reacting with whatever those
bastards pumped into him.
Might need to give some physical
assistance on the way back. Might
be an idea to get medical prepped
back at base.
JACINTA
I think Rudi will have done that,
medical is usually fully prepped in
any op. I'll get Flambé over she's
a big girl, strong too, worked the
lanes for a while. Know how to
carry after a heavy night.
ALEX
Roger that.
Radio noises.
JACINTA
Ok we are ready head out in random
groups but always no less than two,
make like you've been out on the
town. ALEX, SHARROW, JUDE - FLAMBE,
get in between my team.
INT. RETROGRADE RCBS BRIEFING ROOM
(ALEX, RUDI, SHARROW)
RUDI
Well, the operation is concluded
and all things being considered, it
went very well.
ALEX
How is you son, and long term
damage?
RUDI
The doctor thinks he will be a
little fragile for the next few
months but will eventually get over
the trauma. You know he is a gentle
soul, not really cut out for combat
duties.
SHARROW
Yes, we figured, he was telling us
about his Drag shows on Wednesday.
RUDI
Yes he really loves to sign, that
boy, and has some good pipes to. He
is really creative with the
costumes as well. He has quite a
following in the gay community
round these parts. Kinda become the
regimental mascot with the girls.
Some of them think of him as there
Kabuki girl!
SHARROW
Wow, lots going on behind the
scenes at the inn then.
RUDI
Oh very yes, the inn is really a a
continual swaree of this part of
the BC.
SHARROW
The BC. Is that what locals call
the Bencubbin?
RUDI
Yes it is, if your calling it the
BC. Then you belong here. Best part
of New London really. Most real.
ALEX
Well I hope we are starting to
belong, I fed up of not having a
home.
RUDI
Well, you have certainly gained a
few friends today. I want to thank
you both from my heart, for you key
part in the recovery operation and
the GANDER and I would really like
to thank you. So as we agreed, we
will sort out you oxy credits and
accommodation. We will also
transfer the funds agreed into
whatever credit account you wish.
ALEX
Great, ahh, but we will have to set
something up, their may be a few
issues to resolve on that front. We
may need some advice.
SHARROW
We need, for various reasons, I
don't want to go into now, we need
to keep a very low profile.
Registering for bank accounts is
not something we want to jump into
at this moment. Is there any chance
of having cash?
RUDI
Oh, cash, thats a little difficult,
not much cash used nowadays, even
on street carts.
Anytime cash is offered it just
screams illegal in most places,
bells start ringing. There a lot of
places that just don't accept it
anymore. We could perhaps advance a
line of credit against one of the
regimental accounts and issue you a
card, but we would have to induct
you into the organisation and swear
you in. Its in the constitution.
That way the cards would have what
ever we wanted on them.
SHARROW
Oh that might work, but I'm a
little in the dark on the
regimental thing, you would have to
give us more of what might be
involved.
RUDI
OK How about I get you a couple of
the inductee handbooks and get
Jacinta to have a chat with you.
She will be able to explain all the
in's and outs, We would give you
external consultant status. We were
going to invite you guys along to
the celebration in the officers
mess tonight anyway. Now the GANDER
want to see you I think she has a
little surprise for you.
SHARROW
Oh, not sure if I should be worried
or not
RUDI
I think you will like it.
INT. RETROGRADE INN MAIN BAR
(GANDER)
GANDER
So, all things work out well, dah.
Thank you I don't get to say this
very often, but I am very happy. So
I have a little something to show
you. Follow me. Through here, this
is the internal door you can lock
it from inside. Very secure dah!
Sound of substantial door being opened.
INT. RETROGRADE BACK ROOMS SUITE
(ALEX, GANDER, SHARROW)
SHARROW
Wow, this is very rococo!
GANDER
Its a little dusty not been used
for some time, it needs a good
cleaning and lots of dusting, some
of the light fixtures are not
great. There are two small bedrooms
a small reception room, plus this
anti chamber entrance space. To the
left is the small kitchen, to the
right a single bathroom, which also
may need a good clean. I don't
think this has been used for five
years, we used to have an important
guest stay occasionally, but
unfortunately he passed on. So
security is tight, as is the case
throughout the inn, all doors have
double e locks. We like to sleep at
night.
ALEX
Wow GANDER this is fab, how long
can we stay. Well you can have it
unless I need it in an emergency.
SHARROW
So how much will it cost, it looks
much more expensive than our room.
GANDER
Well its a special very low
regimental rate, which will be
deducted directly out of your
retainers.
SHARROW
Retainers?
GANDER
Yes I understand that you are to be
inductees, as consultants, that
comes with a small retainer for you
availability for services to be
rendered. That will more than cover
all your expenses at the inn. It
will also cover Oxy Tab
replenishment. If you check you
tabs.
SHARROW
Oh yes the number has gone up.
ALEX
Great I can breath more easily,
literally.
SHARROW
Thank you GANDER, we would be
delighted to accept your generous
offer.
GANDER
So, see you two down in the main
bar at seven for the start of the
regimental dinner. I will take you
through as we wont have time for
the security implants tonight. I
have ask MAURICE to pop up at six
to help you get dressed.
ALEX
Oh hell!
GANDER
Yes well regimental dinners have to
be formal, its all part of the
discipline and you young girls need
to have their dress gowns
obviously. I believe he has already
picked something out for you, in
pink I believe Alex.
ALEX
Oh heaven help me!
INT. RETROGRADE INN REGIMENTAL MESS
(ALEX, JACINTA, RUDI, SERGENT MAJOR CALVIN, SHARROW)
Sounds of chinking glasses and food, talking. Then a ringing
of a hand bell.
ALEX
Wow Rudi, this is like a real
military mess.
RUDI
I will ignore that comment and put
it down to your ignorance, we are
the real military. Look we have
based this regiment on some called
the Foreign Legion from the 18th
century. We are a registered purely
private military organisation. We
have worked for government or
branches of the same, so large
corporates and private asteroids
and other combines. We are
recognised as a small but effective
fighting force. We have some of the
best fighters and most tenacious
fighters you'll ever see.
Good weapons too, thanks to
generous support from various folk
and past successful campaigns.
ALEX
So were do the troops come from?
RUDI
The lost and dispossessed, mainly
of the Asteroid belt, kids usually
we take them in, feed, clothe and
educate them and ultimate give them
hope and a new family.
ALEX
Sounds a little like a cult and to
be honest a little creepy.
RUDI
Well I suppose from the outside it
may appear like that, but for these
kids its usually their only hope.
The next steps if they didn't come
with us, would probably be prison
or indentured service, then well
death. We always make sure that
they have another profession other
than purely military, things such
as electronics or accountancy for
example. They can leave at any
time. They can take sabbaticals to
go out into the world, have
families, but they always support
us if we asked. Very few completely
sever all ties. The training is
tough, but there are rewards. Hey
Sergeant Major, how many of your
bunch used to be street jacks?
SERGENT MAJOR CALVIN
Well at least 80% including me.
RUDI
So what is the mood of the troops?
SERGENT MAJOR CALVIN
Very good marm, high actually, they
like action and its been a while
since the last campaign.
RUDI
Yes it has Sergent, well you better
get back to them, I think they want
you to lead the signing. Where are
the pipes?
SERGENT MAJOR CALVIN
They are coming marm, warming up in
the eight forward room I believe.
ALEX
Pipes, what are they?
RUDI
You'll see.
ALEX
Wow, that strange but actually I
think I am warming to the concept.
How are you organised?
RUDI
Well as in all military, using the
basic concepts from the days of the
Romans. At the tip, operatives are
organised into maniples, groups of
five, with sufficient material to
service most situations. This
builds in low level resilience and
allows the splitting of essential
supplies into difficult to
eradicate elements.
SHARROW
Hay Alex come over here and look at
this campaign cabinet, its way
cool?
RUDI
Yes lots of interesting
memorabilia, brings back some
memories. You may also want to look
at the wall of the fallen next
door. However we have a little
ceremony to start the proceedings.
Sergeant, please call the toasts.
SERGENT MAJOR CALVIN
Marm, I regret to inform you that,
contrary to the rules of this mess,
the ladies, have not been announced
and a drink was brought to this
table unannounced!
RUDI
What have you to say in defence of
this heinous crime?
SHARROW
I, oh, well, I don't .
RUDI
Silence!
SHARROW
Well it was a single malt.
RUDI
Unconscionable, conduct, both of
you, report to the grog bucket.
SERGENT MAJOR CALVIN
Marm.
ALEX
Yes Marm!
Sounds of stomping and marching feet.
SERGENT MAJOR CALVIN
Both of you follow me and play
along (whispered). Private the
radioactive tongs please
JACINTA
Sir, and the handling cloves.
SERGENT MAJOR CALVIN
To our guests, to the mess
president and to the Royal and
Cherry Blue Storms.
The mess erupts in cheering.
JACINTA
Sir, the guest tongs please.
SERGENT MAJOR CALVIN
To our guests of honour, what were
you drinking?
ALEX
It was a good drink sir
SERGENT MAJOR CALVIN
Well then you are excused, please
take you seats.
ALEX
Sir I have a toast (whispers to
Calvin) I'll do the Maratsuba.
SERGENT MAJOR CALVIN
Great, perfect for the occasion
(whispering)
ALEX
All stand for the Maratsuba Toast
SHARROW
They say the skies are the limit,
but they are just the beginning!
Huge cheer from the mess and then the sound of bagpipes
coming in through the door and more stomping of feet and
cheering.
END