The Gander finds her supposedly secure storage facility has been breached but only one item is missing. Things are not adding up, so she turns to Angel and May to try and find out what has happened.
Angel and May is an audio-only podcast, produced by a not-for-profit group of community theatre supporters.
See more on our website: www.angelandmay.com
Please support us through our Patreon page as we have no other source of income.
The Gander finds her supposedly secure storage facility has been breached but only one item is missing. Things are not adding up, so she turns to Angel and May to try and find out what has happened.
Angel and May is an audio-only podcast, produced by a not-for-profit group of community theatre supporters.
See more on our website: www.angelandmay.com
Please support us through our Patreon page as we have no other source of income.
THE RED EYE OF JUPITER
INT. OFFICE OF ANGEL AND MAY
(ALEX, SHARROW, GANDER)
SOUND OF A DRILL
OVERLAYING THE
NOISE OF A BUSY
STREET, THE
MURMURING AND
FOOTSTEPS OF A
CROWD. THE CROWD
NOISES FADE
WHILE THE DRILL
GETS LOUDER.
ALEX
(Raises voice over the drill) It's
a little small, granted, but we
don't exactly have a lot to put in
it. Yes, it's in a busy area, but
that means it's good for foot
traffic.
SHARROW
It will do nicely, I think. GANDER,
thank you for the space. Thank you
for everything, really.
GANDER
You're welcome, but please remember
the terms of agreement. You're on
permanent retainer to me, until
such times the debt is discharged.
ALEX
Don't worry. We of all people know
that there's no such thing as a
free lunch. TANSTAFL Remember!
GANDER
Did I remember to introduce you to
my boy? ZED, put that down and come
over here.
THE SOUND OF THE
DRILL STOPS.
GANDER
Girls, this is ZED. He will set up
your tech.
SHARROW
Sounds good to us. We need to get
some advertising done though.
GANDER
Not just yet. I think I may have
your first assignment already. To
check out wether you really are any
good at this investigations, after
all you're very young and I only
have your word. All though after
yesterdays action I think I'm more
inclined to give you your space! So
have a look at this at this.
ALEX
Wow, It's beautiful but what the
hell is it?
GANDER
I have no idea and more to the
point nor does anyone else. I think
its some art piece but others have
different idea's.
SHARROW
It does really look like a small
abstract sculpture. The way these
two columns twist at the top and
bottom, bowing out in the middle
like something is meant to sit
there. And the colour...
ALEX
Yep its shiny alright, had an old
car with pimped up paint just like
it. Its , (pause) dam, it makes my
eyes go weird like its got depth. A
sales catalog would say some thing
like "Shimmering royal purple, shot
through with points of light like
tiny stars" but that's not doing it
justice.
A LOW, MUSICAL
THRUM, EBBING AT
THE EDGES.
ALEX
Whoa, thats freaky, think I'll just
put it down now.
GANDER
Yes, so that's what happens if you
tap the columns while they're right
side up. Flip it over.
ALEX
Sharrow you take it, gives me the
creeps.
SHARROW
Alex, you're a complete goose when
it comes to fine art! Holy crap,
it's gotten heavier!
GANDER
Yes, another "feature' of the
piece. Thats why I don't show it
around, it might get the attention
of the wrong kind of folks. So tap
it again.
ANOTHER MUSICAL
THRUM, BUT
DEEPER AND
LONGER.
SHARROW
Gander this is seriously weird, you
know that don't you, quantum weird
even. So what the hell else does it
do?
GANDER
It's pretty, weighs different
according to how you're holding it,
and hums when you tap it. That's it
as far as I know. Had a scientist
friend look at it, it freaked him
out wanted to take it away to his
lab. He was quite upset when I said
no. He came back with some friends.
I let Rudi and company persuade
them that this was not something
they should really be interested
in.
ALEX
Sounds heavy.
GANDER
No not heavy, just bloody!
SHARROW
Oh!
GANDER
But wait theres more, as they say
in the advertisements, there's
another piece to it. A sphere,
meant to sit inside the columns, in
that little cup. And that sphere is
why you're here. I don't want that
doing the rounds incase it wakes up
the authorities, they could then
start sniffing around. So basically
I need you to find it. Quickly
please.
SHARROW
Could I be forward and ask where
you got it from?
GANDER
Absolutely my friends. I bought it
as part of a job lot of unsorted
objects. I put it away in a storage
room. And now the sphere is gone
and I don't know how or why.
SHARROW
Can we see the storage room, we
need more context?
GANDER
Hmm context.
ALEX
Yep we need context do we Shas,
can't work without context!
GANDER
Hmm, well ok then, you sure you
need to see where it was kept?
ALEX
Gander if you can't trust us then
don't ask us to do this
investigation.
GANDER
No No, it do trust you, although I
don't no why. So this place is
super secret OK? No mouthing off
about what I'm about to show to
you. Dah
SHARROW
Its client privilege GANDER, our
mouths are eternally closed, except
when Alex is eating and I would
rather not go there.
ALEX
Hay. Stop that you two!
INT. RETROGRADE INN STORAGE ROOM
(ALEX, GANDER, SHARROW)
ALEX
Wow, this place is worryingly large
for an inn. Where is the booze,
what is all this stuff?
GANDER
Oh just some things that an old
lady collects over the years.
ALEX
Sure, just a ladies store room,
sure. Mind you you've got some
really nice stuff. Whats this, some
kind of gun? Why does this not
surprise me?
GANDER
Each to their own Gospondin, a
girls got to have some protection.
Anyway, it's a holographic
projector. This over here is a gun.
ALEX
Thats not a gun, its a tooth pick.
It's so tiny, it's almost cute.
GANDER
Pick your teeth with that, it'll
blow your silly head clean off. As
they say size is not everything.
This little bitch will blow out
case hardened incanel at a hundred
metres and not even blink. I call
it the peacemaker
ALEX
Oh GANDER, can I have it please,
its so pretty. I am hot to trot and
green behind these gills.
GANDER
No! Its not something a young girl
should have at all. Besides its
illegal the miners get angsty over
this puppy as it scratches there
little shiny toys, and you know how
boys can be, they don't like girls
who play hard.
SHARROW
I'll bet.
ALEX
Well, that's just plain unfair. Mum
I want a big boys toy.
GANDER
Well thats boring old miners for
you. Come to port like Erick the
red on a longboat after too many
months at sea.
Hit the beach (in most cases New
London) to get some rape and
pillage, but if you just scratch
their toys just a little bit they
start to cry. Sigh. Mind you RUDI
and me have done some scratch'n
over the years. Just ask her.
SHARROW
So when you two have quite finished
lubing over guns and all, can we
get back to this case please.
GANDER Do you remember where you
left the sphere?
GANDER
Of course I have a mind like an
Elephant or so SLIM says. It was on
those shelves over there.
SHARROW
Is anything else missing?
GANDER
No. I remember everything I put
into this room.
ALEX
Everything? Come on!
GANDER
Everything.
SHARROW
OK, wait whats that.
ALEX
What, seen something with your old
eagle eyes.
SHARROW
Yes I have in fact ALEX, See that
that sail over there?
GANDER
What about it?
SHARROW
Everything else is so tidy, but
it's half on the floor, all
crumpled up. Do you remember
leaving it like that?
GANDER
Come to think of it, no.
SHARROW
ALEX, do we have any examination
gloves?
ALEX
Oh I have some in my back pocket.
SHARROW
Really?
ALEX
No, you goose, I don't have any
gloves
GANDER
Well, I in fact do have some in
that cupboard over there, sometimes
I need to keep my "possessions"
fingerprint free!
SHARROW
Oh really!
GANDER
Well sometimes there are
"volatiles"
SHARROW
OK lets take a look then. ALEX does
this look like someones been
bivouacking?
ALEX
Yep it sure does. Look how these
boxes are all arranged to make a
little nest. I definitely think
someone's been sleeping in here.
GANDER
What. So someone breaks into, what
I modestly call be treasure room,
and then goes to sleep? Thats all
kinds of crazy!
SHARROW
GANDER, that's an excellent
question. Let's spread this sail
out.
ALEX
Hmm. I don't think we can get
fingerprints off this, it's too
coarse and I think its teflon
coated. GANDER do you have some
Cyrano-acrylic glue and a hair
dryer?
GANDER
I think I might I get those to you
later.
SHARROW
ALEX, I think there's some fibre
caught in that crease. Let me get a
sample of it.
GANDER
Thats interesting, what do you
think it is?
SHARROW
Not a clue. We're going to need a
laboratory and a tame scientist.
Anyone spring to mind?
GANDER
Plenty I'm afraid, but we need one
that won't talk. There is one, but
he is a bit of "how you say" a
dick. I know he will take my
custom, but there may be some
hostility. This fellow doesn't like
to deal with me really, thinks I
drag down his image. I have
photographs which disprove that.
ALEX
Charming. Caught With his pants
down I guess!
GANDER
Something like that. He is however
good at his job, goes by the
nickname pinky. I was wondering
what that was about until I saw the
pictures. Just don't call him that,
unless he really jacks you off.
SHARROW
So GANDER I know you have security
at the inn, but what about in here?
GANDER
Yes, of course Gospondin, be
foolish not to. Its your normal
basic security systems on the door
and the air ducts, but additionally
a movement sensor covering the
whole room. Nothing was tripped.
ZED is going to run a diagnostic on
everything.
ALEX
Are you absolutely certain that you
put the sphere in here?
GANDER
I remember everything in here, like
a catalogue. Ever heard of the
Memory Palace?
SHARROW
Vaguely. I've heard the name, can't
remember what it was about.
GANDER
I'll explain later. But I
definitely left the sphere in here.
SHARROW
So, I guess the next visit will be
the lab.
GANDER
Just hold up for an hour or two,
I'll need to call and remind pinky
of a few pertinent facts. He won't
talk to you unless you come with a
recommendation.
ALEX
Thats OK were in no hurry. Good
investigation takes time and lunch
of course. I'm hungry. SHARROW,
let's grab something to eat and
head back to the office.
SHARROW
Sounds like a plan to me. GANDER,
let us know as soon as you've
spoken to the laboratory and we'll
head straight there. Do you have
secure comms by chance?
GANDER
Of course grade 1 encrypted mini
sets, just put the ear bud in and
your good to go. I will get a
couple from RUDI.
INT. MARKETPLACE.
(SUSAN, ALEX, SHARROW)
The sound of the LONELY PRINCESS' begging is at first hidden
in the sounds of the marketplace, but gradually she becomes
more distinct.
SUSAN
Oxygen is life. Give me life, give
me room to breathe.
Oxygen, oxygen, I live to breathe,
please spare some credits, just one
or two will do. Oxygen, please,
please give me life.
ALEX
Yum, this is delicious. What's
yours like?
SHARROW
Edible. Wouldn't recommend it. You
do realise you're eating crushed up
grasshoppers in soy sauce, right?
ALEX
Tastes like chicken, field chicken,
reminds me of old times. SHAS,
you're going to have to come around
to the insect thing, sooner or
later? I was chatting with JACINTA
and she says, ninety percent of the
protein that the asteroid produces
is made up of insects. She was
saying they have a colony of
rabbits here, but they are only
served in expensive restaurants?
SHARROW
Argh, I am not eating rabbits. I
can't, I used to have one as a pet.
They're just too adorable, I'd be
too ashamed to eat them. Just
picturing the look of betrayal in
their cute little eyes...
SUSAN
Oxygen? Please? I need to breathe,
I need oxygen credits, please,
please.
SHARROW
Ohhhh. Ah...here.
SUSAN
Thank you, thank you, you've given
me life. Can you help me?
ALEX
I guess so. But this is all I can
spare.
SUSAN
Kind, kind, you're so kind...
The sound of the SUSAN'S voice trails off as she moves away
into the crowd.
ALEX
That is one strange customer. So
tall and stooped, and did you see
her arms? They reach to her knees.
SHARROW
Bowed too, like her bones are made
of something soft and flexible. And
so thin. So very thin.
ALEX
Definitely a strange customer.
SHARROW
Okay, I think this door is our
office new office was it the first
or second door?
ALEX
First!
DOOR OPENING
NOISE.
INT. OFFICE OF ANGEL AND MAY
(SHARROW, ZED, ALEX)
SHARROW
I love it when I'm right. Oh Hi
ZED, having any success with those
old computers? Sorry we didn't
think to get you food.
ZED
That's fine I had a packed lunch
from the inn. The computers are
done, or should I say "done in".
They're cheap shit by the way I
would really use them except for a
foot rest.
SHARROW
Well, we are on a tight budget at
the moment, we probably don't need
heavy duty gear at the moment.
ALEX
I've got an idea: how about I go
out and look for a security alarm
while ZED shows you how to use
those computers?
SHARROW
Hay I not completely computer
illiterate. Oh actually yes I might
be now.
ZED
Your weird lady, some things not
right.
SHARROW
Yep you've guessed it, just a
little old tech outcast that me.
Alex here however won't touch tech
unless it has serious downside
potential. Things like guns and
knives.
ALEX
Hay less of that I can use a
targeting computer. Anyway, you can
show me them when I get back. By
then you might have the crude all
scraped off.
SHARROW
Well thats something I can
definitely can do.
ALEX
Great. See you in a couple of
hours, then. Hay Zed!
ZED
What!
ALEX
Have you turned them on and off
again?
ZED
Oh thats hilarious, not.
DOOR NOISE.
SHARROW
Okay, Jay-
ZED
It's ZED.
SHARROW
Jay-zed?
ZED
No, just ZED.
SHARROW
Sorry, been a busy day and we were
up late.
ZED
Whatever. You do at least know what
a computer is, right?
SHARROW
Just think of me as being thirty
years out of date.
ZED
This is your display. This is where
is plugs in to the wall.
SHARROW
OK maybe not that low, just up a
little say about 50 IQ points. OK
lady, your weird. So the interface
is tactile based and intuitive,
with the processor cube having
65,000 processors and this here is
the inference matrix.
(ZED's voice fades out.)
INT. OFFICE OF ANGEL AND MAY
(ALEX, SHARROW, ZED, GANDER)
ALEX
Hi honey, I'm hoooome!
SHARROW
Woh, what the fuck is that thing?
SOUND OF
MULTIPLE TRAPS
SNAPPING OPEN
AND SHUT ON THE
AIR.
ALEX
This is our new security system.
Meet AuDRY 3. Its organic, so it
must be good.
SHARROW
What is it?
ALEX
Well, down at the store, when they
took it out of its cage.
SHARROW
Stop right there. Out of its cage.
ALEX
Yep , like I said out of its cage,
would want to have it wander off.
SHARROW
Did you say wander off?
ALEX
Yes like I was saying, these
geneticists at the uni have set up
a small store. They were really
nice guys, anyway, they had smaller
plants but they were better trained
and more expensive. This one had
been caged a little too long, they
said it was going to seed, getting
a little antsy. They needed to move
it along see. Shas I got a really
good price.
SHARROW
What the hell is it, its as ugly as
a green bat with hairy balls and as
nasty as scorpion after being hit
with a boot.
ALEX
Well its a 'Dionaea Muscipula
Gigantica', common name is well a
"Venus mantrap". It's a meat-eating
plant. See all these snappy things?
They're all individual mouths. They
can't quite take your head off, but
they can definitely manage a
finger.
SHARROW
Are you out of your horticultural
mind? A giant, man eating plant?
Out office is not a green house.
What happened to the security
system you were supposed to get?
ALEX
SHARROW, I'm sorry, but this is the
best we can do on our budget. Well,
that and some bells to hang over
the door for when someone walks in.
ARAY-3 here can be trained like a
dog to protect the office. See,
she's not so bad. Are you? Are you?
Little 3, you're so cute, you're
going to keep all the flies away,
and the bad people too, aww, aren't
you adorable? You're sweetest man
eating plant I know. They also
don't need much light on account of
their proclivities. We just give it
a nice foot rest in a soft pot, it
wont go far once it settles in.
AS ALEX BABBLES
BABY TALK, THE
SNAPPING OF THE
TRAPS SLOWS AND
STOPS, AND A
WEIRD PURRING
STARTS.
ZED
What the hell, why do you want
bells on the door?
ALEX
To make a noise when people walk
through, it also wakes up A-RAY 3
if she's asleep after a meal.
ZED
You no you can just program the
door to make noise.
ALEX
Yes, but it's the authentic bell
sound that I'm after gives the
place a homely feel.
ZED
You're weird, lady, really weird,
do you know that?
SHARROW
You really have no idea.
ALEX
Hey! Look, you two geniuses, unless
you want to hit GANDER up for a wad
of cash, ARAY here is the best
we're going to do. Unless you two
clunk heads, have any better ideas?
Anyway we need a pet and this is
one doesn't need walking.
(SHARROW heaves a grudging
sigh. )
SHARROW
OH OK, (as an aside to ZED) I have
upset her now. So question who's
going to water it. I remember the
last time you had a hobby I ended
up looking after it most of the
time.
ZED
So you saying she has had one of
these before?
SHARROW
No, it was an illegal distillery,
but that not the point.
I was the one checking the
temperatures and the controls,
whilst someone was out and about.
ALEX
Thats harsh Sharrow, you liked the
Gin a recall.
SHARROW
Yes but.. Oh I give in, I can't be
bothered to argue. So tell me miss
green fingers, how do we stop this
thing from trying to eat us?
ALEX
She's not a thing, you'll upset
her. We have to imprint it with our
DNA, voice and smell. Then we train
it like a dog. A dog that can bite
your head off in one gulp when it
gets big enough, and can't run
around, oh and doesn't need
walkies.
A MELODIC CHIME.
SHARROW
That's our message bank! We've got
our very first message.
ZED
Yay, the wonders of ancient
technology.
A LITTLE BIT OF
STATIC, THEN
GANDER'S VOICE,
SOUNDING LIKE
SHE'S AT THE
BOTTOM OF A DEEP
WELL.
GANDER
Hello, anyone there, (Swearing in
Russian) this thing. Hello, hello.
So I've spoken to pinky. The'll see
you in fifteen minutes. You'll need
to go around the back of the
premises before he'll let you in.
Oh by the way his real name is
HUME, remember don't call him
Pinky! I have attached the address.
ALEX
Why round the back, he has an
unhealthy paranoia.
GANDER
That's Pinky for you, just very
twitchy. I've taken the liberty of
starting an account with them for
you. I've taken money out of your
stipend as I'm sure you'll have
repeat business.
SHARROW
Ouch.
GANDER
Nothing's free in this world.
INT. PIMMS SCIENTIFIC SERVICES
(HUME, ALEX, SHARROW)
SOUND OF BEAKERS
BUBBLING AND A
RHYTHMIC
MECHANICAL HISS.
LARGE NUMBER OF
BOLTS ON DOORS
HUME
Come in, quickly now. Shut the
door. Did anyone see you?
ALEX
Anyone would think you're ashamed
to be seen with us.
HUME
I have beef with you two yet, but
that GANDER woman is a menace. The
if the management got wind of this
side transaction it might be
interesting as we are owned by the
Carbonate Combine. There is some
history
ALEX
Ah OK then, history. Well were not
here to rock the boat, we just have
a small test sample to be run.
HUME
Yes ahh, well OK then, you know of
the prices.
ALEX
Yeah, we do, but we expect service
in return.
HUME
So what can I do for you?
SHARROW
We have this.
PLASTIC
CRACKLES.
SHARROW
Some fibre that we found. Can you
tell us what it is?
HUME
OK let me see. Let me get the
optical microscope to start. Oh yes
definitely organic not artificial.
ALEX
What is it?
HUME
It's hair, To be more precise I
think it's human hair, but it's
abnormal. Very fine strands, about
half the thickness of normal body
hair. It could be baby hair.
SHARROW
Can you give us DNA?
HUME
No. There are no skin tags. The
hairs have been snapped off at the
base of the shaft.
SHARROW
Can you do a chemical analysis?
HUME
I can, but you're going to have to
pay extra.
ALEX
Are you kidding?
HUME
Sorry, but only the initial
consultation has been paid for. And
no, I can't just sneak the sample
in with others. The security in
this place is on par with a bank.
ALEX
SHARROW, can we afford this?
SHARROW
Nope. We're going to have to hit
GANDER up.
ALEX
Oh, bugger.
HUME
I'd be delighted to.
ALEX
What? Oh yes so we have heard.
HUME
What was that.
ALEX
Oh nothing just a slip
HUME
Hmmm!
SHARROW
If you wouldn't mind bagging the
sample back up? Thank you. We'll
keep hold of it for the time being.
Thanks for your help.
INT. OFFICE OF ANGEL AND MAY
(SHARROW, ALEX)
(Snapping and gnashing of
plant jaws. )
SHARROW
Eeeyarhhh! It's trying to eat me!
ALEX
Now, now, down girl, down. AUDRY 3,
is that a way to behave? Now be a
good girl and settle down.
The snapping gives way to purring.
SHARROW
Can we do that imprinting thing?
Now?
ALEX
Certainly. I'm going to need your
blood. I need to stick you with
this.
SHARROW
Fine.
ALEX
And now I just inject the blood
into this little discoloured patch
on the side of the stem... and
done. AUDRY 3 is genetically
imprinted to you. Try touching her.
SHARROW
You want me to actually touch that
thing?
ALEX
She still needs to imprint on your
scent and voice.
SHARROW
I've already bled for it and it
still wants more?
ALEX
But- oh look SHAS you have upset
her, those little heads are
drooping.
SHARROW
Drooping or not! I'm not touching
the thing and that's final.
ALEX
But SHARROW, she just wants love.
SHARROW
Carnivorous love!
ALEX
OK, Fine, fine. Jesus. I'll put her
in this corner, out of the way.
Look at that you have really upset
her now.
SHARROW
I'm going to get a proper security
system.
ALEX
With what money?
SHARROW growls in frustration.
SHARROW
I'll find a way. I went back and
spoke to GANDER. She said that
there had been someone who tried to
break into the storage room several
times, but not caught. It's a pond
scum scavenger called MISSY JACK.
She claimed that GANDER had ripped
her off, and that she was trying to
get her property back. GANDER
thought it'd been settled though,
she gave a onetime payment to
basically pay JACK to go away.
ALEX
What does JACK scavenge?
SHARROW
Pretty much anything. She raids
wrecks without a license,
occasionally smuggles banned goods,
and generally wheels and deals
whatever comes her way.
ALEX
What was it that she was after when
she tried to break into the storage
room?
SHARROW
Get this: some old painting that
turned out to be worth a ton. The
strange thing was that JACK somehow
knew what it was worth even though
GANDER says that she had to send it
back to Earth for a specialist to
look at and identify. If JACK is
pond scum, how would she know that
the painting was worth something?
ALEX
Let's ask her.
INT. POPPET HEAD BAR
(ALEX, MISSY JACK, SHARROW)
BAR NOISES. A
LOT OF PEOPLE
WHO ARE GETTING
DRUNK.
ALEX
(Singing) I am the pirate king...
hurrah for the pirate king... and
it is it is a glorious thing to be
a pirate king... wep, almost fell
over heh heh.
MISSY JACK
Watch it.
ALEX
Sorry. I've never been here before
and the drinks are tasty. I have to
sit down; my head is swimming.
MISSY JACK
Make yourself at home.
ALEX
Don't mind if I do. I'm ALEX. I'm
new in town.
(MISSY JACK smells fresh meat.)
MISSY JACK
I'm MISSY JACK. What brings you
here?
ALEX
A rather strange accident, you
wouldn't believe me if I told you.
MISSY JACK
Try me.
ALEX
Aliens. Little microscopic aliens.
Thousands of the little buggers.
MISSY JACK
Bullshit.
ALEX
Told you that you wouldn't believe
me.
MISSY JACK
Want to play a little game? A
friendly bet?
ALEX
(Enthusiastically and intoxicated)
Sounds like fun. What is it?
MISSY JACK
We can play dice.
ALEX
How do we do that?
MISSY JACK
I spin a dice, we bet if it'll fall
face up on a number higher or
lower.
ALEX
That doesn't sound all that
interesting.
MISSY JACK
Tell you what, how about we make a
bet each time. Just a crypto or
two.
ALEX
Eh... why not?
MISSY JACK
Care to take the first wager?
ALEX
Seven, or lower.
SOUND OF THE
DICE
MISSY JACK
Lucky! Here's a bit.
ALEX
So things around here seem very
strange. I've never been on an
asteroid before so it's a strange
new world.
MISSY JACK
Don't tell me that you've never
been off world before. Four or
lower.
DICE.
ALEX
I'm afraid so. I mean, I was really
enjoying this curry, nice and
bitey, until someone told me that I
was eating beetles. Curried
beetles! Hey, I win again!
MISSY JACK
Yeah, place is too small to raise
anything larger than a rabbit or
guinea pig. You want real beef or
pork, it has to be shipped in. The
prices are ridiculous.
DICE.
ALEX
Twelve or higher. Another win!
MISSY JACK
You've a lucky streak! Ten or
lower. Win for me, finally!
ALEX
My friend and I were kicked out of
this bar we tried to go to. Not for
the likes of us, they said.
MISSY JACK
That's rich people for you. Your
turn.
ALEX
Five or lower. I win again! You're
going to lose all your cryptos, my
friend!
MISSY JACK
The luck of the Irish! My turn.
Four or lower. I win! So, what are
you planning on doing here?
ALEX
My friend and I are talking about
going into essential item trading.
MISSY JACK
That's a tough business. Lots of
competitors.
ALEX
Everyone needs their luxuries.
MISSY JACK
True, true. Seven or lower. I lose
again!
ALEX
This really isn't a difficult game.
MISSY JACK
Tell you what, how about we raise
the stakes, make it a bit more
interesting. Two cryptos a go.
ALEX
Make it three!
MISSY JACK
Three cryptos a spin, the lady
says. Let's do it.
ALEX
So what's your line of business?
MISSY JACK
This and that. A little salvaging,
a little trading.
ALEX
Find anything interesting?
MISSY JACK
All the time.
ALEX
Two. I win again! That'll be three
cryptos, thank you!
MISSY JACK
I'm being robbed! Have you played
this game before?
ALEX
I haven't. I can't believe I'm
winning.
MISSY JACK
Fourteen. I win! Three cryptos.
ALEX
I'm going to win this, you know.
Do you trade art at all?
MISSY JACK
On occasion. Mostly it goes through
my partner, he has all the proper
channels for that.
ALEX
Only someone has handed me this
sculpture and told me they want to
sell it on commission. I have no
idea what to do with it, but I
can't turn them down.
MISSY JACK
What is it?
ALEX
It's some pretentious abstract
piece, shimmering royal purple,
shot through with points of light.
Two columns, twisted together at
the top and bottom. There's a
little cup in the centre, like
something round is supposed to sit
there. The colour's pretty, but I
have no idea what it's supposed to
be.
MISSY JACK
Shimmering purple. Really.
ALEX
You wouldn't have happened to come
across anything like it?
MISSY JACK
Perhaps. My memory can play tricks
on me.
ALEX
I know nothing about art. It's not
my thing. Show me something that
looks like something real, not a
random design someone threw
together for the hell of it. I'm
thirsty. Another drink! Waitress!
Get me another! Are you getting
anything?
MISSY JACK
I'm good.
ALEX
So yeah, trying to figure out how
to fence this artwork.
MISSY JACK
Can't help you there.
ALEX
(Mumbling drunkenly) No help in
this world.
MISSY JACK
How about one last through of the
dice? All your cryptos, or nothing.
ALEX
Yeah, let's do it. All or nothing.
Got a few more cryptos here in my
pocket.
MISSY JACK
Pick a number, any number.
ALEX
Ten or higher!
DICE SPINNING.
MISSY JACK
Eight. Now give me the money.
ALEX
You won? After all my luck?
MISSY JACK
Pay me. Now.
ALEX
That's not fair.
MISSY JACK
Life isn't fair. Give me the bits.
ALEX
Fine, fine. Here. Hey, where you're
going? Don't you want to talk some
more?
MISSY JACK
No. Bye.
END