Angel and May finally receive some customers, but naturally, they bring a biological problem.
Angel and May is an audio-only podcast, produced by a not-for-profit group of community theatre supporters.
See more on our website: www.angelandmay.com
Please support us through our Patreon page as we have no other source of income.
Angel and May finally receive some customers, but naturally, they bring a biological problem.
Angel and May is an audio-only podcast, produced by a not-for-profit group of community theatre supporters.
See more on our website: www.angelandmay.com
Please support us through our Patreon page as we have no other source of income.
TWO TURTLE DOVES
INT. A&M OFFICE
(ALEX, SHARROW, ZED)
BOXES BEING
MOVED AND
SCRAPING LADDERS
ETC. COUGHING
WITH THE DUST
Angel and May are in the back room tidying and sorting the
boxes.
SHARROW
Ohhh, its dusty back here, pass the
mini vac will you!
ALEX
I cannot get my head around how
Drag Queens need so many of these
wigs, oh, ugh these are all
rubbery, oh no sorry, I mean fake
boobs!
SHARROW
So unless these boobs have bullet
stopping properties, what the hell
do we do with them. May by we are
going to use them to sugar
potential interrogation candidates,
LAUGHTER
SHARROW
I really don't think we need those.
Lets take them to MAURICE, I am
sure he will have a use for them.
They may be useful for this
Christmas show that they keep
yakking on about.
ALEX
What about JUDE, perhaps we could
get him in to go through this stuff
first and sort it out. Its his
speciality after all, and he knows
the artists back at the inn. If
anyone will know what to do with
drag accoutrements, its going to be
him.
(pause)
You know SHARROW I've been
thinking.
SHARROW
Thats a first!
ALEX
Hay less of that, I have some of
the best idea's and I could set A
Ray on you, because you're too
wimpy to give the poor plant a
stoke.
(pause)
So anyway we could really do with a
receptionist I was thinking that
Sophie would be a good choice with
her bubbly personality, and if it
doesn't creep us out too much, she
even looks a bit like old Kris.
Much better for front of house than
Zed, bless him, he doesn't have the
looks are the bedside manner. I
also think it might be smart to
have someone else around when were
not here to make sure ZED isn't up
to any tricks, and having someone
to keep ZED company might calm him
down a bit and make for a better
office environment.
SHARROW
Actually ALEX, thats a great idea,
(pause)
I think she said she was looking
for a few more hours to help pay
for her dance classes.
(raising voice to carry
out to office)
Hay ZED, do you know JUDE &
SOPHIE's numbers.
ZED
Of course, I just look it up on the
Cherries contact list. Geese you
need to get with the modernisation
program SHARROW, say even get up to
early twenty first century. I can't
keep acting as your address
secretary on the computer, you need
to use those sub-dermal compu-wrist
implants I got for you, they
weren't cheap. You need to get with
the didactic that come with the
implants.
SHARROW
Yes but we don't all have the
affinity with implants that you
have ZED.
ALEX
Yes I agree with SHARROW, the whole
nano wire in brain thing gives me
the creeps. The calibration routine
makes me feel queasy.
ZED
Oh my god both of you, its like I'm
dealing with GANDER, she doesn't
like tech either, all the other
twenty year olds mastered this
stuff at Junior school, you need to
get used to this stuff if you want
to be taken seriously, I mean, you
two are just plain weird, like
you're 60 years old or something.
SHARROW
Yes we are definitely left of
centre I freely admit, but we have
one important thing you need to
bare in mind.
ZED
Whats that?
SHARROW
We pay your wages buddy, and give
you a home away from the wrath of
RUDI, so soak up the tedious nature
of our backwards leaning souls and
just put up!
ZED
Well I can't argue with that, you
have a point, but my point is I'm
trying to help with getting this
business off the ground.
SHARROW
Yep we know ZED, were just kidding.
ZED
Yep, but you can understand my
frustrations I hope. So, I need to
ask a few things, especially if you
want to get the most out of my IT
skills.
SHARROW
So what's up. What do you need?
ZED
Well firstly we need to clean out
the small room within all the left
over junk, because I need it to put
the servers in somewhere, and its
has its own aircon ducting and a
decent power socket.
ALEX
Hang on we don't have any servers,
all we have is one dilapidated PC.
ZED
Well thats not quite true.
ALEX
What! You've not gone and spent any
money have you?
ZED
No, you don't have any money to
spend!
ALEX
Well what are we going to put in
this 'server room'
ZED
Well, its complicated.
(pause)
I don't know if you heard about the
fuss last week.
SHARROW
Yes I did notice you were away a
lot, and one of our hidden camera's
caught a chick with crazy hair come
into the store and then you
leaving, in a wig clearly hiding
from RUDI. Looked kinda crazy by
the way.
ZED
What camera's!
SHARROW
Ah, the camera's I forgot to
mention. For extra security
purposes.
ZED
Ohh, perhaps I have underestimated
you guys!
ALEX
Yes you probably have!
ZED
Anyway, the 'fuss', was a Cherries
operation to rescue that Chick you
saw and her robot friend from a
location in Electric City. I was
asked to help out by GANDER. So as
part of the reparations and clear
up, a decent amount of gear was
recovered. I managed to nab four
servers and a rack.
ALEX
Ohhh, Maybe we have also
underestimated you ZED!
SHARROW
Good work ZED, not sure what they
will be useful for, but good work
anyway! You should DRAG up more
often!
ZED
I wasn't in drag! Anyway, these
servers, they are high end
processors with a quantum side
chain, top flight gear. I want to
put in the back room and load up a
neural swarm, which will act as our
intelligent data mining operation.
SHARROW
Well, that sounds interesting, its
not going to be massively expensive
is it.
ZED
Well not really, I already have the
nets, which I have been training as
a side hobby, we just need to feed
them as much investigation
knowledge as we can and they will
learn to be a useful adjunct to
your business. They are labelled
'einy', 'meany', 'miney mo'.
SHARROW
Oh I like it already. What do you
think ALEX?
ALEX
Yes, it definitely sounds
intriguing, I say yes. We have
nothing to loose and a lot to gain.
SHARROW
I agree, sounds like a plan.
Good work ZED, round of applause I
say. (Pause) Well I have also made
an acquisition!
ALEX
Yes
SHARROW
What does every good investigation
office require?
ZED
Computers, and security?
SHARROW
Yes, but what else?
ALEX
Oh, Oh, I know! Can I answer
please!
ZED
If you must.
ALEX
SHARROW, its a coffee machine isn't
it!
SHARROW
Dam you, how did you find out.
ALEX
I used the power of deduction
Holmes, plus I saw the box hidden
behind those wigs! Lets get it out
and fire it up, I'm thirsty!
INT. A&M OFFICE
(ALEX, BODECKER, BRIMLOW, SHARROW, ZED)
COFFEE MACHINE
BUBBLING AND
HISSING
ALEX
Well it looks about ready to go.
SHAS, I think its your honour to
draw the first cup.
SHARROW
Thank you
SOUND OF COFFEE
BEING MADE
SHARROW
Ohh, now that is good.
ALEX
Look on the monitor, there's two
guys outside the shop looking in.
SHARROW
Well maybe its that rare commodity,
customers!
ALEX
Hmmm! OK there coming in! ZED can
you pop out front and great them,
makes us look like a more
professional agency if we have a
receptionist!
ZED
Great, shall I put on one of the
wigs!
SHARROW
That would be fabulous please!
ZED
You guys, I'm not dressing up!
Zed moves out of the back rooms and into the front section of
the unit.
MUFFLED SOUNDS
OF GREATING.
SHARROW
Guys thats strange, look at that, A
Ray really likes the guys who have
just walked through the door, Oh
thats kinda worrying, the guy on
the left just stroked her and she
didn't strike. Now she is purring!
AND A-RAY PURRS.
SHARROW
Hello gentlemen, how can we help
you?
BRIMLOW
Ah, yes is this where a miss Angel
works?
SHARROW
(Sigh)
I thought as much, ALEX its for
you!
ALEX
(Slightly muffled)
Yes, just I minute I'm up the
ladder.
SHARROW
Well we have two 'gentlemen' out
front who want to see you.
ALEX
(Coughing)
Oh, argh, the dust up there, so,
oh!
STEP LADDER
SOUNDS
ALEX
Yes, how can I.. Oh, hang on I
recognise you, weren't you the guys
who sold me the A-RAY?
BRIMLOW
A-RAY, who's that..oh, you mean the
'Dionaea Muscipula Gigantica'. Yes.
Hows is she working out? She looks
very healthy, quite perky actually,
you must be feeding her well. Has
she started singing yet?
SHARROW
ALEX we need to talk
ALEX
What.
SHARROW
(Whispering)
Singing, you mean the bloody thing
sings as well?
ALEX
(Whispering)
Will you stop going on about the
bloody plant, focus on the
potential clients. Lets find out
what they want.
(Focus on customers
business voice)
Gentlemen, this is my partner
Sharrow, and this is ZED our
computer technician and data guru.
So take a seat. Coffee?
BRIMLOW
Oh thank you no, we have just come
from a coffee shop.
SHARROW
So gentlemen, how can we be of
assistance?
BODECKER
Well I'm not sure how to start, its
a very delicate matter, is this
office secure? Could you secure the
doors?
ZED
I can assure you this room is
secure, I scan for bugs every day
and the tech is locked solid.
Securing the door wont...
Alex ignore ZED and locks and bolts door, A-RAY hisses
ALEX
There, all locked tight. Now lets
deal with the mater of offical
fiduciary security, Sharrow can you
get form A B & C plus the NDA.
SHARROW
Already ahead of you there, now
gentlemen before you discuss
anything you need to officially
engage us as private investigators.
Once you have signed the forms, we
become legally obligated to
maintain client confidentiality,
unless your issue involves a crime,
or a terrorist activity as listed
in section 4A.
ALEX
In addition I would recommend that
you read the addendum called
investigation client covenant.
BODECKER
Oh, OK OK, just give us some space
to discuss if you please.
SHARROW
Are you sure we can't offer you a
coffee whilst you look at the
documentation. Look we don't want
to legalise you to death but if you
are concerned with security we have
to get the standard protocols out
the way first. Now how do you take
your coffee?
BODECKER
I'll have a latte please.
BRIMLOW
And I'll have the same please.
URGENT
WHISPERING
BETWEEN THE
GENTETICISTS
BRIMLOW
OK we are ready tom sign.
SHARROW
OK then, Here, here and here. OK
then. OK were good to go.
So this 'delicate' matter you
mentioned?
BODECKER
Yes well, I understand you say you
specialise in difficult
'collections'
SHARROW
That depends on what is being
collected and how difficult they
are.
BRIMLOW
Do you have any experience in large
animals.
SHARROW
Well, like dogs you mean.
BRIMLOW
Ahh, well may be large and slightly
more aggressive.
ALEX
Shouldn't you be going to the zoo.
BRIMLOW
Well yes we did consider that but
there other considerations as well.
ALEX
Other considerations?
BRIMLOW
Yes well, the animals concerned are
'experimental' and slightly outside
of what a zoo would normally
handle. Then there is the question
of cross contamination.
BODECKER
Not to mention the issue of
scientific confidentiality.
Some of the resource is, (pause)
'cutting edge' and we don't want it
in the public domain.
SHARROW
I see, I'm not sure this falls into
our bailiwick (sounding
disappointed).
BODECKER
Oh we would very much like you to
consider this. Hmm, (discussion
whispered with colleague). We are
prepared to pay above market rates,
say an extra 10%
SHARROW
Oh, I see. Well lets here all the
details and then I will discuss
this with my colleague here and we
can then decided wether tom
proceed. Please start at the
beginning.
INT. RETROGRADE - MAIN BAR - STAGE
(ALEX, GANDER, JACINTA, MAURICE, SHARROW)
SOUND OF DANCERS
FEET, MUSIC,
PRACTICING
MAURICE SHOUTING
Gander and Maurice are set up in the middle of the floor with
table and chairs and are reviewing the show on the stage.
MAURICE
One. Two, Three, shimmy one shimmy
two left. No no no. Stop stop! That
was terrible. Jude show them
again, keep up, one, two three..
Stop. Girls we need to tighten this
up its terrible, you not co
ordinating properly. Now back to
mark, and go.
GANDER
(Whispering)
Maurice we've only got a few days,
the dance sequence with the new
girls is not coming together, its
going to be a disaster, whats the
plan 'B'.
MAURICE
GANDER, I thought you had more
faith in me, how many years have I
been the entertainment manager at
the 'Retrograde'
GANDER
More years than I care to remember
MAURICE, but these girls are like
divers with lead in their shoes,
its going to be an embarrassment,
really! What if we swap it out for
a stand-up comedian this year?
MAURICE
I don't believe I heard those words
coming out of your mouth. A 'stand
up' what do you think this is a
'straight Pub'. What about the
costumes, the lights, the glitter
and the glamour.
GANDER
Arn't we both, just getting too old
for this MAURICE. Its been a weird
year and I'm just tired. I just
want I quiet Christmas.
MAURICE
Oh my God, my dear friend are you
sick. You don't have a terminal
illness, your hiding from us all,
do you? I'm shocked, I really am.
GANDER
Ohh, now you put it like that, it
sounds terrible, but we need to
lift our game, the spirits of folk
are a little low this year in the
BC. Look I don't want to say this
but I fear that storm clouds are
gathering and next year things will
come to a head. Its affecting my
mood, I'm afraid.
MAURICE
Oh, shit OK, Well leave the
bonhomie boost to MAURICE, I'm
going to cheer you up with a great
show, you just what this space.
GANDER
So I have to ask, do we have a plan
'B'
MAURICE
(sigh)
Yes well I suppose we drop the
dance number, we throw in the table
with the light and the chair
burlesque number, fly the light and
chair down with Jude siting then
hit the space port doxy of New
London number, bla bla etc. Jude's
good for that, then we do 'Santa
baby' with the girls dressed up as
Santa and his Elves, that always
goes down well. Then the DRAG
performer of the year competition
can soak up the rest of the time.
By that time the punters are beyond
well lubricated. Are we going to do
the lock in?
GANDER
Yes Maurice, of course, but its all
so boring, we did that last year,
the year before that it was 'White
Christmas', with the 'Candy Canes'
lets set our sights higher this
year shall we!
MAURICE
Well, you know your always
squeezing my budget I have had to
dig out some of the old costumes
again.
GANDER
Yes I'm sorry but things are a
little tight this year. Those
Mirror House Bastards and their
backers have been slowly putting
down the squeeze. Looks like I'm
going to have to react next year to
sort something out. The Cherries
have been quiet this year, with
zero Campaigns, I'm sorry but needs
must. How's Chen doing on the
lights, did she sort out the
glitches on the controller.
MAURICE
Yes she, had to patch the firm
wear, but that desk is a bust we
need new gear really do.
GANDER
Dah, I know Gospondin, but I have
to prioritise. Anyway I know you'll
do better than your best my friend,
you always do!
Oh look at them with the tree, I'm
feeling like the mother hen and I'm
carrying a real load.
(Raising her voice and
shouting instructions
across the bar)
Hold on, hold on, not over there,
put it in the corner by the window
I want the lights to shine out.
JACINTA and COSTAS are struggling with a huge plastic
Christmas tree with a large red pot.
GANDER
JACINTA, can you get some of the
younger Cherries up its time to put
up the bar decorations and you know
how much they love doing that.
JACINTA
Of course GANDER just let me dump
this tree. Where did you get one so
big.
GANDER
I got a deal from the Dirkson they
were clearing one of the tiers and
someone I know owes us a favour.
JACINTA
Well were going to have to chop the
top to get it in.
GANDER
Thats OK, we don't need to put a
fairy on top, this place is just
full of them anyway.
Bar door opens and Alex and Sharrow walk in.
ALEX
Oh, wow, thats a huge tree I can't
wait to see it decorated, I'm
really looking forward to Christmas
day and the show.
SHARROW
I'm getting all Christmassy just
looking at it.
ALEX
Gander we have something you really
need to hear, I think we need to do
it in private! Would you mind?
GANDER
Yes but who are these two guys?
ALEX
Oh, these are our clients.
GANDER
Well I want them to stay down in
the bar whilst we have our
discussion. Lets go to my office.
INT. RETROGRADE - GANDERS OFFICE
(ALEX, GANDER, SHARROW)
GANDER
Do you want a drink? Think i'm
going to need it.
DRINKS BEING
PREPPED AND
POURED
ALEX
Its a little earlier in the day for
the hard stuff
GANDER
You didn't have to sit through
those dance routines, urghh!
ALEX
That bad ah!
GANDER
Well lets just say I'm praying for
a White Christmas!
SHARROW
Well what we have to tell you is
going to make you wish it was
Easter. I'll have a small one,
thank you GANDER, it is Christmas
after all.
SOUND OF DRINKS
AND THEN FADE
INTERLUDE WHILST
THE STORY IS
TOLD.
GANDER
Trackminua! This is bad, in the top
end cavern you say! Oh my Got, this
could really blow up, the guilds
are going to go crazy if they think
we have messed up in their space.
Thats not to mention the other
opposition. The blow back will be
considerable and it always comes to
the Bencubbin.
ALEX
Well strictly speaking, its from
the dudes at the university and
thats in the Hudson sector. I'm not
sure how we would get the blame.
GANDER
OK I need to give you some
background because its almost
impossible to understand what is
going on here to relative
newcomers. This place is like a
Chinatown. There are layers of whom
is doing what to whom. You might
think you know what is going on but
believe me you don't.
Underlying all the proxy fights and
local vengeance acts, are just a
few big operators who direct the
small time players like puppets.
Then add history into the mix and
you get an incendiary mix. One of
the main reasons RUDI and myself
set up the Cherries, apart from
looking after the street kids, was
to act as our own security force.
If it wasn't for them, this inn
would have been swept away long
ago.
You obviously know about the mirror
house. Well the insect that runs
the place, and others, is DEREK
SCHAFFER, he works indirectly for
another guy called PICKERAL. Then
further up the chain, to another
bastard called STANK. This STANK is
the most powerful man on Mars, he
owns Inter-Asteroid Corporation.
Guys like that think that everyone
works for them.
ALEX
Yep we know those sort of guys and
we need to avoid them.
GANDER
So I expect you have heard that
last week there was an (pause)
incident, involving some dear
friends. This once again indicated
that money is being channelled into
New London and we think it from
Mars again, probably STANK. I don't
know how but some serious money has
been spread around the top end of
town. Anyway we guess, we are
effectively a small but nasty thorn
in their side.
They just need a small excuse and
the'll move in and take us out.
ALEX
I want you to know GANDER, that
SHARROW and myself are four square
behind you guys.
GANDER
Yes I know, and I really appreciate
that, but for the time being I need
you to keep quiet about this. I
don't want to start rumours and
cause panic amongst the residents.
Things are starting to come to a
head, it can feel it.
ALEX
Jeez GANDER thats heavy, looks like
we have to keep this whole
operation on the down low. But I'm
full square behind you guys.
SHARROW
Don't you think we need to get RUDI
and the Cherries in on this, we are
going to need some specialist gear,
not to mention their expertise.
GANDER
Yes I think you are absolutely
right, we are going to need flying
gear, stealthy. Infiltration and
exfiltration cover, Hmmm, do either
of you have low Gravity, micro-lite
or eagle-ray experience?
SHARROW
No not really, ALEX didn't you have
some strap on wings?
ALEX
I did but they were glide only, the
problem was they needed jets to
climb, noisy as all hell! They
would be no use at all. Not like
Eagle Rays at all.
GANDER
So you say we have to get up to
light tube in the top end cavern,
how in hell are we going to do
that. The local Cops and CIS would
be on us in an instant.
We've got to get a couple of
containers full of equipment and a
whole load of flying gear into and
out of the cavern with no one
blinking an eye, I think thats
impossible. Let me make the call,
hang on.
(Bleep and comms link
being established)
RUDI are you in the inn?
(Conversation muffled)
Ah OK, good, can I meet you down in
C&C we have a 'situation'.
(Conversation muffled)
Good yes OK immediately, yes. OK
guys, down to the Command and
Control, RUDI thinks we need to
work the angles, oh I think we need
to invite your 'clients' down as
well.
ALEX
Well I fresh out of idea's on this
one, but its good to work the
angles.
GANDER
Well, if you want my opinion I
think its impossible.
INT. RETROGRADE - COMAND AND CONTROL
(ALEX, BODECKER, BOY, BRIMLOW, CALVIN, COSTA, GANDER, RUDI,
SHARROW)
RUDI
GANDER who the hell are these guys?
Are they cleared for C&C.
GANDER
Oh don't worry about them, they are
just some bio geneticists from the
university. Alex and Sharrow have
got them on a non disclosure, and
probably more importantly they need
us, badly. When you hear their
story, we are going to need their
knowledge, believe me.
(Alex looks them in the
eye with a warning)
So you two stay right there and
don't touch anything!
ALEX
So lets cut to the chase. We have
multiple 'transgenic xeno morphs
loose in the owners cavern.
We have been employed, by these
folk to retrieve said animals.
Problem is there are potentially
aggressive and have migrated up to
the light tube.
RUDI
Hang on did you say light tube. Are
you saying that these are giant
birds?
ALEX
No not birds as such, these are
transgenic animals. The closest way
to think of them is as flying
reindeer.
RUDI
Oh this is good, flying reindeer,
and its Christmas. Is there a large
man in a red costume by chance?
ALEX
Ho Ho, look this isn't funny, these
creatures are aggressive and any
blowback may come in our direction,
on account of these folks coming to
Angel and May investigations. There
is one one gentic research facility
in New London. It doesn't take a
genius to follow the trail.
RUDI
OK OK. So let me get this straight
because my head is spinning. We
have multiple, (pause as she tries
to find the right word) 'targets'
these 'Xeno-morphs' or, what did
you call them?
BRIMLOW
Cervinnae Chiropterea Wyvern.
RUDI
Yes, anyway, lets call them
'Batstags' I really can't get my
tung around that one. They have
flight capability. Do they have any
other features we need to know
about?
BODECKER
They do have sharp antlers.
BRIMLOW
Yes these should be avoided as they
are razor sharp with high silica
content.
RUDI
That sounds bad, are they sharp?
BODECKER
Oh yes they are like knives.
RUDI
Great, anything else?
BRIMLOW
They have giant bat wings, they are
designed so they can fly easily in
half a gee. This means they love
low gee, just like that found at
the centre of the station. At that
location they are tremendously
powerful and manoeuvrable.
RUDI
I see. I have only one question.
BRIMLOW
Yes
RUDI
When did they let you two out of
the funny farm? What the hell were
you thinking.
BRIMLOW
Ah Yes well, it seemed like a good
idea at the time. Were sorry but
science does have to test the
outside limits of the envelop.
BODECKER
We created them to test some code,
we were confirming the veracity of
a new vat cloning technique. We
only developed them onwards to
established viability.
Unfortunately they exhibited
unexpected traits, mainly
aggression due to extra variety
introduced by the vats.
BRIMLOW
We had every intention of
termination, but unfortunately they
were all to fascinating. We had
four papers in progress.
SHARROW
Well there not so fascinating now
are they, when will you scientists
learn.
BRIMLOW
It was human error really.
BODECKER
They got out after one of the
feeding sessions. The keeper was
injured. Unfortunately he had
become quite attached to them, he
left the cage door off the latch
because he couldn't see very
clearly through the retort glasses.
ALEX
If I were you I would stop now, I
know that look in RUDI's eye.
RUDI
Wait a minute did you say retort
glasses!
BODECKER
Yes, you see I specialise in
digestive tracts of ruminants,
fascinating really. As you may know
they slowly digestive their food in
multiple stomachs. We further
improved on that with an anaerobic
pre digester.
RUDI
What has this got to do with retort
glasses?
BODECKER
Well, quite a lot actually, you see
when they fly they get quite a lot
of corona discharge, from the air
moving past their wings. Those guys
also produce a lot of methane due
to the high metabolic rate and the
special bacteria we introduced. We
found that when they fly there is
consider by-gassing. Of course on
the ground this is minimal, however
in flight mode, the static tends to
light the mixture formed in the
wing vortexes. Its like a series of
mini-bleves.
RUDI
Oh this just get better and better
you mean these badass flying guys
with razor sharp antlers, can turbo
charge by farting gas. Their like a
biological aurora spaceplane.
ALEX
I'm really starting to like these
bad arse dragons! We've got real
life crazy PAPERet propelled arse
dragons!
RUDI
Well I don't think its so funny. We
need to get CALVIN and BOY in here,
this is a flight wing combat
situation. Private can you please
call get them to C&C with some
urgency thank you.
COSTA
Yes mamm!
SHARROW
Look the point is these 'things'
are now up by the light tube since
yesterday. What the hell are they
doing up there?
RUDI
Yes that is a good point. Why would
they go up to light tube? What is
the motivation?
BODECKER
We think they like low gees as it
takes much less effort to stay
aloft. Most predators will
naturally retreat back to the
hunting grounds in which they
expend the least energy.
SHARROW
Preditors, this doesn't sound good!
ALEX
So are you saying they eat meat, I
thought reindeer were herbivores!
BRIMLOW
Well, we had to make these guys
omnivorous, because of the energy
requirements. They may look like
reindeer but they are definitely
not reindeer.
GANDER
Trackamina!
SOUND OF DOORS
OPENING AND
PEOPLE ENTERING
CALVIN
Mamm, we heard that there was an
urgent new situation that required
my presence.
RUDI
Yes Sargent, thank you for coming
so quickly, we have a really tricky
situation in which we are
scratching our heads. So lets just
wait until the major arrives.
DOORS OPENING
AND FOOTSTEPS
BOY
Mamm, oh we do have a large crowd
today.
RUDI
Well its a difficult issue Major,
we need some quick thinking on this
problem. In essence, we have
runaway biological contamination in
the owners cavern which may be
traced back to Ms Angel and May's
business and their client contacts,
which will be then followed back to
The Retrograde and the RCBS.
(Pause)
The biological contamination
comprises, two large xeno-morphic
'bat stags' which are aggressive
but valuable and need to be removed
stealthly without waking up CIS and
the local cops.
BOY
Sorry could you repeat that, it's a
lot to take in.
RUDI
Yes I know, look lets break into
teams and the others will fill you
in. We need to work the problem in
detail. First up though what is
your first reaction? CALVIN?
CALVIN
Well we have a number of obvious
components, firstly there is
infiltration and exfiltration,
secondly, there is the approach to
the target, kill or capture, but
even if its a kill scenario we have
to collectthe bodies.
On top of the front line operation
we need plausible deniability if we
are exposed. Then we need to lay
out our general technology approach
and communication. We would need a
Tactical Action Authority approach
from C&C and Air Intercept control.
Hmmm, these are small radar cross
section targets, we will need
Hawkeye radar or better. Obvious a
air radar of Banger level, to
assist in vectoring of such agile
targets. Might be sensible to
implement a Cooperative Engagement
Control team. Its going to be a big
operation sir.
BOY
Yes my thoughts exactly. I have
thing to add and that is we need to
work the detail of the capture
mechanism. Its one thing to
intercept but we need to disable
and hold, in the air, we can't have
bodies plunging out of the sky.
RUDI
OK agreed. All points noted. Now
lets break this down, with a half
hour session, to figure out the
broad tactics in key area's. CALVIN
you take infiltration and
exfiltration BOY can you lead
deployment technology, JACINTA can
you take flight with Misses ANGEL
and MAY, and I'll take logistics
with GANDER.
We'll then do break ups and work
infiltration, deployment, capture,
and finally exfiltration and
containment, all of these have to
be done without alerting the
authorities. You need to think
outside the box folks.
SOUNDS OF
MURMERING THEN
INTERUPTION BY
SHARROW
Before we split up can I throw
something completely wild out there
and see how it lands. It's crazy
but it might work.
RUDI
Well any and all offerings will be
gratefully accepted. Lets hear it.
SHARROW
GANDER can I confirm one thing
first?
GANDER
Yes, what's that?
SHARROW
Well, Jacinta was saying they have
a Christmas parade in the main
square and thats in the main cavern
isn't it? I believe its happening
tomorrow!
ALEX
Oh, I like that, I get it, thats a
good idea, we go in, hidden in
plain sight.
SHARROW
Yes I was thinking we might get a
float or floats and join the
Christmas parade.
RUDI
Now that is actually an interesting
idea, we could enter several
electro cyber trucks each under the
Retrograde and other business
names, and go in all legit and well
have XMAS sparkle! Yes that is
actually a very good suggestion
SHARROW. OK folks, lets work the
angles on that and any other idea's
and see if we can bring some
Christmas cheer to the parade.
END