Angel and May
Angel and May are two worn-out private investigators from LA. Events take a turn and they embark on a journey which will take them across time and space to the asteroid colony "New London". They hole up in a dodgy pub run by a crazy drag queen. What could possibly go wrong! They say the skies are the limit, but here they're just the beginning!
Angel and May
A03-E16 - The Lure
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An investigation on the murdered girl swings into action,. Gander decides to set up a lure for the killer.
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S3-E16-THE LURE
INT. BACKGROUND INFORMATION - 6 - 2
LOCATION: RETROGRADE - DRESSING ROOM 1
SOPHIE is having a one to one, quiet chat with JUDE to
catch up and try and find out if there is anything else
they have missed. SOPHIE and JUDE chat about poor
MONICA, and this brings up some personal issues that JUDE
is struggling with. JUDE unfortunately indicates that
nothing was out of the ordinary for MONICA so no clues
are really forthcoming..
SOPHIE
JUDE Hi, oh, your in there. When
did you move? Oh sorry I didn't
think.
JUDE
(Jude sobs)
SOPHIE
Hay come here (Hugs) How are you
going?
JUDE
Not good really, SOPHIE. She was
my best friend and now she is gone
in the most horrible way.(Sobbing)
It's not fair! She never hurt
anyone.
SOPHIE
Yeah I know, its the good ones
that get the bad deals. I really
liked her too, she was so bubbly
and positive. I didn't know about
his parents though, they sound
like dicks!
JUDE
Yes the father in particular,
didn't like him 'pretending to be
a girl'. I told him that it takes
a real man to do drag, but once a
bigot, always a bigot. Right? The
worse thing was we were planning a
party and she had a new show. I
had been making some of the
costumes and we had a cool new
look.
MAURICE
Oh, hello girls, sorry to disturb,
just going through to my office,
I'll make a cup of tea for you.
SOPHIE
Thanks MAURICE, we all need
calming down, its a horrid day.
MAURICE
It is indeed, young SOPHIE just
horrible. If there is anything I
can do?
JUDE
Tea would be really good thanks
MAURICE.
MAURICE goes into his office and busys himself with the
tea making.
SOPHIE
So I know this is really
upsetting, but I need to run
through some questions.
JUDE
I'm not sure how I can help?
SOPHIE
Well, the one thing I have learnt
from working with ALEX and
SHARROW, is that its the small
things that matter in the end.
Trivial little things, that at
first don't seem important, but
then they prove crucial. Its what
makes the detective gig so
interesting.
JUDE
I hear that you and SHARROW are a
thing nowadays, I didn't know you
liked girls? When did that happen?
SOPHIE
I didn't know really either JUDE,
but there's something about her.
She is worldly wise, its
refreshing and I do find her quite
physically attractive as well, its
a good combination. Look I may be
stating the obvious, but that just
because I was born in the wrong
body, that doesn't mean my
sexuality is connected to my
gender? Right?
JUDE
SOPHIE dah, its transgenderism
101, of course. Who do you take
me for!
SOPHIE
Well, possibly someone, who is
more confused than I am!
JUDE
Ohh! You got that right sister.
Besides I always thought you would
swing both ways.
SOPHIE
What, left and right (Giggle)
JUDE
Yeah the old ying and yangy doodle
thingy!
SOPHIE
You leave my doodle out of this!
JUDE
(Laughter) Why does it always come
down to your doodle? (Laughter)
Thanks, that's cheered me up!
Anyway what the hell are you on
about, you're post op!
SOPHIE
To be honest I always knew I was
fairly flexible, its the person
that counts for me, but as you of
all people, we can't just flick a
switch and chose how we are wired.
JUDE
Well, I would have serious words
with your Electrician, you're
definitely wired all wrong.
SOPHIE
Thank you but as you know I'm just
wired for maximum fun!
JUDE
Maximum worn out clichés you mean!
SOPHIE
OK, (Looking both ways) Now what
I'm about to tell you is top
secret OK!
JUDE
Oh, Hush, hush (Giggle)
SOPHIE
Well, and if you tell anyone, I
will never do your makeup again.
Sometimes, and I do mean
sometimes, its a bit like going
out with my mum. She keeps getting
worried about me and the parties
and the late nights and the drugs
and all that stuff.
JUDE
Oh I think its far more
complicated than that gurl. She's
your Oedipus complex, manifested
as a detective, but in a young
sexy package! You'll need several
shrinks and one hell of a lot of
credits, just to sort it out.
SOPHIE
Oh, so now you a physiologist as
well as a fashion designer! In you
dreams baby!
SOPHIE and JUDE break down and laugh
SOPHIE
Anyway I'm happy inside and that's
what matters, isn't it? Now enough
about me what about you and f**d
up life. So how about you what's
ticking in that head of yours?
JUDE
Well, its a weird time to be
honest, you know I'm a girl who
just loves occasional being a boy
in my head. With a body that's the
other way around. I know I'm a
girl really, but I am worried
about coming out with it. RUDI
thinks I'm just into drag, and I
don't want to hurt her.
SOPHIE
You're kidding me, right! RUDI
will be totally cool, hell she co
runs a gay pub and the drag shows,
what's not to like! Look I know I
can't give advice, but it's what
you want down inside that matters.
Its your body, and your life, only
you can sit in the driving seat.
JUDE
How did you make the decision?
SOPHIE
Oh, that's easy, I always knew
right from the start, it was just
when puberty kicked in, it freaked
me out, I was becoming a person
that I didn't want to be. The
dysphoria was terrible. It was an
itch that wouldn't go away. The
only way to fix it was to become
me!
JUDE
Well and its a good thing too, you
would be totally insufferable as a
boy!
SOPHIE
You got that right. Look gender
identity and sexuality are like
sliders, everyone has a different
combination. The lucky ones have
the sliders set at the ends, its
easy, but if they are set in the
middle then things can get
trickier. Everyone is different.
Think about it, and take your
time, its not to be rushed, only
when you're 100% certain, then go
for it. You only need to know that
this whole big family GANDER,
RUDI, Me everyone, will love you
no matter who, or what you want to
be. Look, don't sweat it, you'll
figure it out eventually.
JUDE
Yeah I guess. I kinda know I'm
girl inside, but I like a load of
boy stuff too. I just think at
the moment I don't want to chose
but I feel the moment is drawing
closer.
SOPHIE
Well, cool, let me know when you
do make the decision, I will be
right behind what ever you want to
do. Now on to the more important
stuff - me! You know I have had
career dysphoria, a similar issue
over what to do with my career,
its nothing like as big as your
decision, but you know I've been
wondering what to since college.
I've tried various things, and I
thought I was going to be a
complete gypsy all my life.
I initially did the Angel and May
gig for a bit of a laugh, but JUDE
incredibly I'm starting to think
this whole investigation thing is
the what I like!
JUDE
No, not your big 'thing'! I don't
believe it!
SOPHIE
Yes, big sis, believe it. I
really think this is my big
moment. Jeez your cynical, for one
so conflicted, and with running
mascara!
JUDE
(Giggle) Its the new vampire look.
Besides its good to spread the
pain around. Your opinions don't
count anymore because you've been
a complete stranger for the last
couple of months, and you need
punishing for abandoning your
sister JUDE.
SOPHIE
Guilty as charged me lord.
JUDE
Yeah, lock her up immediately
(Laughter)
SOPHIE
Gurl, Shit, I miss our little
chats. You should pop over more,
SHAS and ALEX are cool they don't
mind most of the time if I have
friends over in the office. Hell
we just enjoy chilling. Not much
to do if there is no work on. We
could max out your female thing.
Think about it, we could jointly
torture ZED you with your full on
Gurl moves, me with my sarcastic
dry humour. His hormones will be
popping so hard! It will be fun to
watch that play out!
JUDE
You know, you really are my evil
twin sister!
SOPHIE
Naturally, its my main talent.
(Pause) So look I need to get back
to the nasty business which
brought me here in the first
place.
JUDE
OK fire away, I'm feeling better!
SOPHIE
So did MONICA say she had any new
clients, or any new people in her
life?
JUDE
I've been racking my brains about
that and the answer is definitely
NO. She seemed exactly the same,
her routine was the same, no new
acquaintances male or female.
SOPHIE
OK, then, Did she have any new
presents that suddenly turned up,
like expensive jewellery or
anything?
JUDE
No, she was so broke, it wasn't
funny. In fact a couple of the
girls gave her some money to pay
the rent. That itself was a small
miracle. She was always ready to
help others, even if she didn't
have very much herself. If this
bunch of mean arsed queens chipped
in, you have to be special. That
takes some doing!
SOPHIE
So going back to that night in the
main bar, you were waiting to go
on stage right?
JUDE
Yes, well that's not unusual,
given that I'm a performer.
SOPHIE
Yeah, I grabbed the roster to look
at the sequence. She was on before
you. So that means she would have
been working the bar whilst you
were on. When you were up on
stage, could you see the bar? Was
she with anyone?
JUDE
Couldn't see diddley-squat,
because of the lights.
SOPHIE
Bugger, I thought as much, but I
have to ask anyway, just to be
sure. Were there any different
groups, any new clients propping
the bar?
JUDE
Well, it was the usual crowd, lots
of the regulars, the oldies and
probably about ten or twelve
groups, some new. I didn't have
time to clock the whole room. What
about the camera's?
SOPHIE
Well, ALEX is reviewing them with
RUDI. I hear that we are going to
up the security significantly by
the way.
JUDE
Good, because the girls are
nervous. I think it would be good
if GANDER came down and had a
chat. You know you should grab
some of the regulars next time,
interview them, discretely and see
if they have seen anything?
SOPHIE
Good idea I'll mention it to the
detectives see what they think.
(Pause) Well, that's all the
questions I can think of. Its
been great chatting, I really miss
you and I'm sorry I've been a bit
of stranger these last couple of
months, but I have had a lot of
change in my life.
JUDE
Well, now you have invited me
over, expect to see me soon, in
your office.
SOPHIE
Oh, god what have I done.
JUDE
Bad things obviously!
INT. INFORMATION UPGRADE - 6 - 2.1
RUDI and ALEX discuss the security setup whilst reviewing
tapes of the public area's in the Retrograde. The tapes
prove useless because of the poor quality. RUDI and ALEX
have fun with the thought of an unlimited budget and a
mil-spec catalog.
LOCATION: RETROGRADE - C&C
ALEX
Hi RUDI, how are you, I have just
come over with some more camera
feeds, are we getting anywhere?
RUDI
Well, I've been running the
camera's through the big screens,
but they are not good quality,
very blurry. We moved the good
camera's to the store room area's
when we had the issues with the
wormholes, we had to swap in these
really old ones. To be honest ALEX
I think we are wasting our time
with this video.
ALEX
GANDER is authorising a whole
upgrade to the sensor suite
throughout the public bars.
RUDI
Well, its high time, I kept
meaning to mention it, but then
there are always other things to
spend the money on. (Pause) I
hear that you take a special
interest in micro sensors from
what SHARROW was saying?
ALEX
Oh, yes, its my second best
interest after weaponry! Oh and
women of course!
RUDI
I woman after my own heart well
apart from the girls, but there
were a few moments. (Laugh)
ALEX
Let me guess its classified?
RUDI
You got that right. So were should
we start?
ALEX
Well I think perhaps we should get
some catalogues and some room
diagrams and get planning.
We need to make sure we don't have
any dead spots.
RUDI
That going to take a swath of
camera's. What's the budget?
ALEX
Your going to like this!
RUDI
She had a funny turn then?
ALEX
Yes indeed. Hold on to you hat, we
have an unlimited budget, she said
she wanted to get the bastard.
RUDI
Well, then we don't want this
catalogue, we want the mil-spec
one. We better see what we can do
to help!
ALEX
Naturally! RUDI, it feels like
Christmas! (Chuckle)
INT. DOOR GUARD - 6 - 2.2
LOCATION: RETROGRADE - GANDERS OFFICE
RUDI and GANDER discuss the additional security being set
up at the inn. RUDI suggest that perhaps they set up a
lure, using a combat trained person dressed in Drag as a
means of identifying the killer. It's a good idea but
neither of them can think of who might be suitable.
GANDER
Come!
RUDI
GANDER, oh, you look tired.
GANDER
I am tired RUDI, this whole
business, we have a cuckoo's egg
in our nest and we need to smoke
it out.
RUDI
Well, that's why I am here. Lots
of things are happening.
ALEX and myself have gone through
every public area in the inn and
specified a suite of camera's
visual and infra red all
invisible. We have multiple
camera's covering the bar area's
so we can see all the faces and
the same for the entrance
vestibules.
GANDER
RUDI I feel partly responsible.
I'm kicking myself, I should have
upgraded those camera's last year,
I was just too tight. Now one of
our girls is dead, and horribly
dead, not peacefully laid to rest.
RUDI
Look don't beat yourself up, you
manage a tight ship here. If it
wasn't for your careful management
of very limited funds we might
have gone under years ago. You
keep this whole shit show on the
road, this is your creation. You
should be proud, not sad.
GANDER
Well, I am sad. Anyway, what can
I do for you RUDI.
RUDI
Well, I came to let you know that
for the next couple of weeks or
until we have the bastard, JACINTA
and COSTA's are going to be on the
door.
GANDER
Jeez I hope that doesn't scare the
clients off! Or worse the culprit.
RUDI
No I have asked them to dress
down, look casual and play nice.
I just want them there, so they
can personally eyeball the
clients, see if anything stands
out.
GANDER
OK, sounds good, anything else.
RUDI
Well, yes, one idea, but I not
sure how we implement.
GANDER
Go on!
RUDI
Well, we need to smoke this evil
cuckoo out. So to do that we need
another person fitting the profile
to match the modus operandi. A
lure for the killer. Problem is
we need someone with personal
fighting skills in case they get
attacked away from our protection.
GANDER
Well, the killer targets drag
queens and we have a strictly
limited supply of those. None of
the girls have much in the way of
combat training, they can swing a
handbag with gusto, but I don't
think that will be sufficient.
RUDI
Well, we need to think outside the
box on this. I think they will
need more than a handbag swing! I
have formed ten tag teams which
will follow every staff member
back to their accommodation.
Discreetly of course. If anyone is
attacked on the way home, they
will find they are fighting a
small military regiment.
GANDER
That's very thoughtful RUDI, its a
lot of troops for a potentially
long commitment.
RUDI
Well, you formed the regiment, so
the regiment is dedicated 100% to
protecting their members,
commissioned or otherwise and the
drag queens are considered family.
GANDER
Thank you, really.
RUDI
I had another idea, its a little
more radical. How about we think
the other way around, we get a
soldier to pose as a queen, place
a cuckoo in the killers nest?
GANDER
Oh, that's a good idea. I can
think of a few practical
limitations. We only have a
couple of days until next
Thursday. Combat troops don't
disguise well as Drag Queens, its
the way they move. MAURICE would
have to work his magic very
rapidly.
RUDI
Why is Thursday important?
GANDER
Well, MONICA disappeared on
Friday, so she must have made
contact after the Thursday Night
show. My thinking is that this
person might come in again to see
the drag shows on the Thursday,
maintaining their pattern.
RUDI
I see! That does make this all the
more urgent.
GANDER
OK, let me think, so we go
fishing. We set up a show, then
get the prepared girls to hang at
the bar to act as a lure. Killer
makes move, killer gets caught.
Simple.
RUDI
Not so simple GANDER, this killer
is very cautious, I don't think he
or perhaps she, we can't assume
its a man, will fall for the act.
GANDER
We need to make the act convincing
and the Queens convincing. Oh,
yes, (Chuckle) RUDI I have had a
brilliant idea.
RUDI
What?
GANDER
I'm not telling you, you will find
out shortly, but its certainly a
twist.
INT. REASSURANCE - 6 - 3
LOCATION: RETROGRADE - DRESSING ROOM 1
GANDER goes looking for MAURICE but instead finds the
Drag Queens who are all very frightened to go on stage.
She tries to reassure them and tells them it is their
duty not to be cowed.
GANDER
Girls how are you?
RITA
Oh, GANDER we are just distraught,
we are all so afraid the killer is
out there lurking, waiting to
pounce.
GANDER
Well, that is quite understandable
girls. However I would also point
out that all the resources of the
Retrograde and the RCBS are also
ready to pounce. Not to mention
your own independently developed
handbag skills.
CANDY
I can't look at the John's at all,
GANDER. I keep thinking that any
one of them might be planning to
kill me. Please GANDER can't we
just cancel the shows for the time
being.
GANDER
Well, I did think of that but
then, this person would have won.
They would also probably just go
somewhere else. No, girls, we
must be strong. You must show
fortitude, the gay community will
not be cowed by this cowardly act.
Anyway you all know this is a hard
business. Well, it just got
harder so man up. I can't force
you to go out on stage, but I
would urge you to think of poor
MONICA. The only way we can catch
this bastard is to lure them to
try and repeat the act. This also
means we have to continue business
as usual as any change might
frighten them off.
CANDY
I don't know GANDER we are all
scared.
GANDER
Let me reassure you that we have
not sat ideally by. All the
security has been significantly
upgraded, we have increased the
RCBS presence and we will be ready
this time. I will not have any of
my family threatened. Do you
understand.
RITA
Yes GANDER but.
GANDER
No but's girls, no buts, you need
to be brave. Now where is
MAURICE?
CANDY
In the small bar getting a coffee
from GHOST.
GANDER
Good, well OK then and don't you
girls worry at all, mother GANDER
and the RCBS are now watching over
you, this killer doesn't stand a
chance.
INT. THE LURE - 6 - 3.1
LOCATION: Retrograde - Small Bar
GANDER meets with MAURICE and persuades him that the best
way to catch the killer is to bait him with another show.
However they need operatives who can potentially protect
themselves. Cue ANGEL and MAY. MAURICE is not
enthusiastic.
GANDER
GHOST and MAURICE, I hope I find
you both well?
MAURICE
No, not really GANDER, it's been a
shit of a week.
GHOST
My emotional circuits have been
working very hard this week, I
feel like we have been violated.
GANDER
Yes that is a very apt description
my friends, but it is time for us
to strike back.
You probable are aware of some of
the moves but let me tell you we
have a number of idea's. We will
never get poor MONICA back, but it
is our duty to prevent such a
terrible tragedy happing again.
Now if I could just steal MAURICE
from you GHOST to assist on one
small point.
GHOST
Would you like a coffee I have one
on the go?
GANDER
Actually, I think that's a very
good idea, thank you GHOST.
They move over to a booth.
SITTING IN LEATHER
SEAT
MAURICE
So, how does this humble servant
assist in a military operation to
capture a killer?
GANDER
Well, we need to temp this cuckoo,
force it to break disguise, and
then we sweep in and neutralise
the bad bird. So I have an idea
of putting on a show, but one with
a little difference.
MAURICE
Why do I have a feeling that I'm
not going to like this?
GANDER
You never like any of my show
suggestions, so what's new. Now
we need to insert a combat capable
drag performer into your troupe.
MAURICE
Oh, no, no not JACINTA or COSTA's
it would be disastrous? GANDER do
you have any idea how tricky an
introduction of a completely new
act will be?
GANDER
Well, yes I do, but we have no
choice do we?
MAURICE
But all that stomping around in
hob nailed boots does not make for
the elegant movements required.
Well unless we are doing
'Springtime for Hitler" which I
really don't think will go done
well in a gay pub. We will need
balletic movements, smooth and
gentle. I really don't think two
thugs, who like five a side soccer
are going to have the requisite
skills.
GANDER
JACINTA and COSTAs are not 'thugs'
they have their gentle vulnerable
sides.
MAURICE
Where?
GANDER
Yes well, I can't think of where
at the moment, but they do!
Anyway I wasn't thinking of those
two. I have had a brainwave.
MAURICE
Oh dear! I knew this was coming I
find your brainwaves stressful!
So what's this brainwave then?
GANDER
Well, what do you think of a
double act?
MAURICE
Double the trouble you mean.
GANDER
Well, I happen to know that a
certain Ms MAY plays the piano. At
least she mentioned she had piano
lessons at school.
MAURICE
Yes but that's not really playing
the piano is it, its just making
some horrible noises.
GANDER
Well, its a start. Then I thought
of PERFECTLY MARVELLOUS from
'Cabaret', its short, can be
played on a synth piano and its
easy to sing.
MAURICE
No, no (Holding head in hands)!
Oh, really GANDER, that means you
think that ALEX will be the other
performer.
GANDER
Well, she is young has a good
body, long legs and is combat
trained.
MAURICE
But Gander!
GANDER
MAURICE you are a professional,
you could train monkeys to
perform. Look is it really so
hard, will you do it for me? More
importantly will you do it for
MONICA?
MAURICE
Yes, but the work with the
umbrella, its tricky, it takes
time to perfect, these two monkeys
are detectives not performers.
GANDER
Well, it's all we have, so you
better get to it, we are on a
tight timeline here. I need you to
smoke out this killer before we
loose more performers. I asked
around, made a few calls and I
discovered something very
disturbing.
MAURICE
I don't think I'm going to like
this either, let me guess others
have gone missing.
GANDER
Exactly. This killer has operated
out of other clubs in New London,
two other performers were found
with the same modus operandi. If
we don't put a stop to this its
going to happen again!
So chop, chop, no complaints, we
need these monkeys dancing and
singing beautifully by next
Thursday or we are in big trouble.
END
