Two fighting psychopaths make a good distraction, perhaps they won't notice the fake painting?
Angel and May is an audio-only podcast, produced by a not-for-profit group of community theatre supporters.
See more on our website: www.angelandmay.com
Please support us through our Patreon page as we have no other source of income.
Two fighting psychopaths make a good distraction, perhaps they won't notice the fake painting?
Angel and May is an audio-only podcast, produced by a not-for-profit group of community theatre supporters.
See more on our website: www.angelandmay.com
Please support us through our Patreon page as we have no other source of income.
S3-E22-HOTEL BLUES
INT. MONOLOGGING HELL - 10 - 24
LOCATION: CULM's Gymnasium
SLIM continues to hold out, whilst CULM and his henchman
discuss enthusiastically their next torture steps.
Cut to CULM monologging at SLIM
SLIM
Ahhh! These foot bindings are
impossible. If they weren't
keeping the oxygen so low. Come on
SLIM
AIRLOCK
SLIM pretends he is asleep and hides his hands behind his
back.
CULM
Are you sure he is still alive?
THUG 1
Let me see boss.
PUNCH THEN GRUNT.
THUG 1
Yes boss, he's alive!
CULM
Your friends have two hours to
bring me my painting. If they are
late, we cut off something every
ten minutes until they get here.
If they are not here in two hours
will kill what ever is left. What
do you think of that.
SLIM
Ahh, they'll come, so don't you be
getting too enthusiastic in you
cutting efforts.
THUG 1
Do you want me to hit him boss?
CULM
No, no, little chuckle, I am a
people person, it was a rhetorical
question. I know what he really
thinks.
THUG 1
You do?
CULM
He is, think he hopes his friends
come before we cut anything off.
THUG 1
Oh!
CULM
(Chuckle) Then maybe, he be
thinking about what we may cut
off, and in what order. Is that
true.
SLIM
Well, its difficult not to think
about it.
CULM
Yes, now my friend enjoy your
wait. We are going to sharpen our
knives.
THUG 1
Yes boss.
CULM
Come on lets get out of here, I'm
getting light headed with the lack
of Oxygen. Sleep tight (Laughter)
INT. HOTEL BLUES - 10 - 25
LOCATION: Radisson Hotel, Translation Boulevard.
GANDER RUDI COBO SLIM and ALEX arrive at hotel only to
see the robbers at the lobby bar, the decide to break
into their room to see if they can find the original
painting. After searching the room, they find it hanging
on the wall. Just as they are about to leave MARCO rocks
up (having had the same idea) also searching for the
original. MARCO threatens them and our guys realise that
they cannot prevail in a direct fight so they retreat
back to the lobby. They decide that the only way to get
the original is to get MARCO back to his house and then
knick it as they planned before. To speed this process up
they pull the fire alarm at the hotel.
GANDER
MILTON Stop, this is the hotel
lobby.
CAR DOORS THEN
HOTEL DOORS.
SHARROW
Do you think they are still here?
COBO
GANDER do you know the concierge?
GANDER
No, but I think I know his father,
he plays some illegal cards and I
helped him with a loan once.
Fortunately he paid it back.
Excuse me let me see what I can
find out.
ALEX
So didn't HESSE send the fake
painting here?
SHARROW
Yes but the RABASCA brothers
needed that fake to give to MARCO,
not the real one.
ALEX
So that means the real one could
be here.
CULM
Well there is only one way to find
out.
GANDER
OK that was useful. Its amazing
what a few credits can liberate.
They have booked a room overnight,
and they are going to the space
port tomorrow because they booked
tickets through the hotel. Even
better news right now they are
sitting in the bar!
CULM
Let me take a quick look.
FOOTSTEP
CULM
OK I can see them at the end of
the bar, they don't look like they
have anything with them so, one
might assume everything is in the
room.
GANDER
Its room 2131, here is the key
card I'll stay with SHARROW and
keep a watch out, you search the
room.
ALEX
OK, come on MILTON lets get this
goddam painting.
LIFT PLUS MUSAC
COBO
OK lets make it quick, I really
don't want to be found here.
ALEX
I'll search this wing.
COBO
OK.
SEARCH SOUNDS
TIMEPASSING
ALEX
Nothing, no painting, what about
you.
COBO
No nothing in here either. I don't
understand. They must have the
painting. Oh I must be loosing my
touch, We are making a real pigs
ear of this whole grift.
ALEX
Look, lets have another look,
SLIM's life is on the line.
COBO
I need to sit down.
ALEX
Look its just a matter of time.
COBO
Yes time we don't have, its less
than an two hours to the deadline.
ALEX
I'm getting to the point, where I
get tooled up and get over to CULM
and take our chances in a shoot
out. We could take a few Cherries
for good measure.
COBO
Its an option but not one I would
recommend.
ALEX
I'm so tired of the run around, I
just want to shoot at something.
COBO
Yes quite understandable, but we
could end up with many dead not
just one. This whole situation is
ridiculous, and just over a small
watercolour painting.
ALEX
Look the RABASCA's are downstairs
lets just go and talk to them.
COBO
OK.
HOTEL DOOR
COBO
No wait, look!
ALEX
We've just done that.
COBO
No, look on the wall, hanging on
the wall.
ALEX
Those sneaky bastards, now that is
really cleaver. Where better than
to hide a painting than in plain
sight.
COBO
See I told you we would get it.
MARCO enters through the door.
MARCO
Who the hell are you two?
ALEX
Shit!
TIME PASSING
MARCO
So let me get this straight, CULM
is holding your mate until you
bring him this painting.
ALEX
Yeah!
MARCO
And he doesn't know it was me that
nicked his painting, and he thinks
it was you? (Laughter) Well it
looks like you are up shit creek
with no paddle! Whilst I have the
right result. (Pause) So just tell
me one thing, how did you know it
was here.
COBO
Well, we didn't, we just found the
RABASCA Brothers and hoped for the
best.
MARCO
Well, those two arses, stitched me
right up. They didn't just sell
me a moody painting, they made me
look like a right fool in front of
my men. So where are they?
COBO
No idea, there was no one in the
room when we got here.
MARCO
OK, so seems like you haven't done
me any harm, and you haven't got
anything I need and you have
enough to worry about, so just get
the fuck out.
ALEX stares at MARCO
MARCO
Go on, sling your hook before I
change my mind.
ALEX
We can't do that.
MARCO
Oh yeah!
ALEX
Yeah. Without that painting, CULM
is not going to let our friend go.
Now I don't care who you are, I'm
not leaving without it.
MARCO
Oh, and that's you final word is
it?
ALEX
Yes it is!
Fight ensues and ALEX and MILTON are ejected from the
room.
PUNCH TO GUTS
ALEX
Shit that hurt.
COBO
That wasn't very smart my friend.
ALEX
No, but I had to try.
COBO
Lets get down to the lobby.
LIFT DESCENDING
GANDER
Did you find it.
COBO
Don't ask.
GANDER
What happened?
ALEX
We found it, then MARCO took it,
we did resist but it was futile.
GANDER
So what do we do now. What is
plan B?
COBO
So if I had the painting, I would
scurry immediately back to my home
and admire it. Now team, I do
believe we already have a plan to
rob that property.
SHARROW
So we need to get MARCO and
henchmen out of here and back home
ASAP. Problem is they are now
searching for the RABASCA's to
kill them. That's going to take
some time.
GANDER
I have an idea.
GANDER moves over to the fire alarm and smashes the glass
with her elbow.
ALARMS AND BELLS
RABASCA BROTHER 1
What the hell, say isn't that one
of those grifters?
RABASCA BROTHER 2
Yeah definitely, what are they
doing here?
RABASCA BROTHER 1
Lets have a chat.
RABASCA BROTHER 2
Shit, no over here.
RABASCA BROTHER 1
Oh bugger its MARCO and his dudes.
Quick hide.
INT. BREAKING THE CITIDAL - 10 - 25.1
Team are back at the citadel preparing for a break in to
steal back the painting. Split second timing is required.
To create a distraction they employ GHOST to lead a fake
protest using the Sex bots from GANDERs brothels.
RUDI
Sp we just do a complete re run of
the same plan OK.
ALEX
Yes we get it. Lets just get it
over with please!
RUDI
OK like a ballet remember!
GHOST
I have atomic clock timing so it
won't be an issue for me or my
colleagues.
ALEX
OK, in position meat away, dogs
chomping happily.
RUDI
OK GHOST go!
GHOST
Roger. "Self determination for the
Robot generation"
MULTIPLE ROBOT
VOICES AND ALL THE
SEX BOTS FROM MOMOS
CHANTING
RUDI
How is it going GHOST?
GHOST
We are making a lot of noise Ms
Rudeski, no sign of MARCO or his
men as yet but we will keep going.
RUDI
OK go for you keep at it. As soon
as they appear draw MARCO and any
men away from the front door by
marching and chanting.
GHOST
Roger that! "Self determination
for the Robot generation", "Self
determination for the Robot
generation". Oh there is movement
at the door.
RUDI
OK, cue bin collection ALEX, get
near the front door. As soon as
they are sufficiently distracted
get inside. SHARROW get ready with
the call. GHOST can you slave you
eyes to my vision screens so we
can see what you can see now
please.
GHOST
Roger, OK, can you see now?
RUDI
Yes very clear thank you!
MARCO
You, what are you making that
noise for.
GHOST
"Self determination for the Robot
generation".
MARCO
What are you talking about.
GHOST
Your robots are not liberated,
they are slaves. "Self
determination for the Robot
generation"
MARCO
If you don't move, we will be
forced to take action.
RUDI
ALEX go get in the Citadel and
grab the painting and get out,
now.
ALEX
OK here goes. If I encounter
resistance, should I disable?
RUDI
Yes of course, use the taser and
gas.
ALEX
Roger that, I will enjoy!
RUDI
GHOST is he starting to loose
interest.
GHOST
I think so, probably going to
rally his troops and then fire on
us. "Self determination for the
Robot generation".
RUDI
OK, SHARROW go!
DATAVISE SOUND
MARCO
Hello, this is not a good time!
SHARROW
Lucy Fairchild from 16 Psyche Mr
CRANTOCK we met at one of those
awful meet and greats last month,
you do remember?
MARCO
Ahhh!
SHARROW
We've seen some interesting stock
opportunities in the metals market
in the last few days and wanted to
discuss a re-provisioning of your
portfolio splits.
MARCO
Yes ah, well do we have to discuss
this at this exact moment?
SHARROW
No, but as with many things in the
market time is critically
important. You could loose out on
significant upside opportunities.
MARCO
Yes well I have a situation at the
moment. Can I call you back in
half and hour?
SHARROW
Well, not really Mr CRANTOCK the
orbits will make conversation much
slower soon. I've taken this
opportunity whilst the light speed
delays are shortest.
MARCO
Oh. Look I'm sorry I just can't
take this call at this time.
COMMUNICATION LINK
BREAK.
GHOST
"Self determination for the Robot
generation", "Self determination
for the Robot generation".
MARCO
Will you shut up, I'm warning you
I'm going to get my men to move
you on.
RUDI
JACINTA hit the ground vehicles in
the garage, with the incendiaries.
JACINTA
My pleasure!
SOUND OF FIRE, THEN
CAR ALARM.
MARCO
What the hell, quick to the
garage!
MARCO runs away from the front door around to the side of
the Citadel to look at the now happily burning cars.
MARCO
Quick get some water, we have
fire, fire!
ALEX exits the building and quickly runs away to the
meeting point.
ALEX
I've got it.
RUDI
OK, operation extraction is over
get back to meeting point A now.
"Home James and don't spare the
horses".
INT. SECOND TIME LUCKY - 10 - 27
LOCATION: Retrograde - Small Bar
COBO, GHOPST, SLIM, ALEX and JACINTA execute their
robbery and obtain the painting. They get back to the
Retrograde with the MARCO stolen original only to find
the Robbers at the bar. They are waiting to thank the
grifters for saving their arses because the fire alarm
meant that they avoided a horrible outcome with MARCO.
However in the conversation they find that the painting
in the room was another backup fake which they didn't
need as they had sold the original that morning! COBO
looses it as yet again the team don't have an original,
he is desperate, but suddenly has a brilliant idea!
COBO
So Mr CULM, we have the painting,
where should we meet? OK the same
place OK in half an hour. If Mr
WINCHELL is not all their in one
piece the deal is off. OK half and
hour.
GANDER
Well?
COBO
All set. We meet them back in the
warehouse in half an hour, we give
him the painting , he gives us
SLIM.
SHARROW
Can we trust them?
COBO
The honest truth Madam is, I don't
know
SHARROW
But what happens if MARCO realises
we nicked the painting again.
COBO
I don't know! Lets just get SLIM
back first then worry about the
other stuff later.
ALEX
Sounds like a plan!
COBO
Yes but first I need a drink and
to check if GHOST got back OK.
TIME PASSING
RETROGRADE DOOR
COBO
Hi Set them up GHOST are you good?
GHOST
Ah, Mr MILTON..
RABASCA BROTHER 1
There you are, (Pause) Mad HESSE
told us where to find you!
GANDER
Ah!
RABASCA BROTHER 1
That was you at the hotel, wasn't
it?
COBO
Ah!
RABASCA BROTHER 1
We saw you leaving. (Pause) Just
passing where you.
COBO
Well, yeah, we found out where you
were, and we thought we would try
again to convince you to, well you
know, to give us the painting.
RABASCA BROTHER 1
So that's what I thought! So it
was you guys who set off the
alarms, was it?
COBO
Yeah, yeah...
RABASCA BROTHER 1
What did I tell you brother!
(Pause) That's why we are here.
Pause as both parties start at each other. The retrograde
crew think they are in for a beating!
RABASCA BROTHER 1
I just wanted to thank you!
GANDER
Hah!
RABASCA BROTHER 1
Look I don't know why you set off
the alarms when you did, but if
you hadn't done that we would have
waltzed up there and found MARCO
CRANTOCK in our rooms.
COBO
Yeah well, ahh don't mention it.
RABASCA BROTHER 1
So, lets see you found us and then
you found MARCO and his goons
there.
COBO
Ahh, yeah, ah, we legged it but we
didn't want to drop you guys in it
see.
SHARROW
So we hit the alarm!
RABASCA BROTHER 1
(Chuckle) yeah well, all I know,
if it wasn't for you guys we would
be screwed, so thank you!
COBO
It's a pleasure.
SHARROW
Yes we would hope you would do the
same for us.
RABASCA BROTHER 1
Oh absolutely!
COBO
Well, then. (Claps hands together)
RABASCA BROTHER 1
Yeah well we would love to stay,
but we have got to get home so we
can start spending this.
BAG ZIPPER
View of bag stuffed with thousands of credits.
RABASCA BROTHER 1
Four hundred grand, (Pause) for
the painting.
COBO
The painting?
RABASCA BROTHER 1
The FALERO. (Pause) We sold MARCO
one of the duds.
COBO
Yeah, so we heard.
RABASCA BROTHER 1
No doubt, but we also had a buyer
lined up for the real one. A
collector from Earth, he was here
on 'vacation', its already on its
way to its new home.
COBO
Wait, wait hold on, you said you
sold one of the duds to MARCO. So
you sold a dud to the guy from
Earth?
RABASCA BROTHER 1
Oh, no, no, he was far to
discriminating. He got the real
thing. He bid the highest you
see! (Chuckle) No we had HESSE
make two duds. One we sold to
MARCO the other to a guy in the
hotel, but he was a no show.
COBO
Yeah, but, wait this is making my
head spin, you can't have sold the
real one because MARCO found the
real one in you room.
RABASCA BROTHER 1
Yeah well he would have been
pretty disappointed when he got
back to his stupid Citadel.
We did the deal with the guy from
Earth yesterday, long before you
and MARCO got to the hotel. So if
he found a painting in the room,
it was the other dud. Shit we
even hung it up on the wall as a
bit of a laugh! We left it as a
present for the hotel! (Laughter)
GANDER
(Sigh) Trackamina!
RABASCA BROTHER 1
Like I said we just came here to
say thank you. Right we better go
we have a ship to catch. (Pause)
Oh by the way how did things pan
out for you friend?
COBO
Oh, (Pause) we are still working
on it.
RABASCA BROTHER 1
Well, good luck with that.
COBO
Cheers! (Ironically) Ohh my head
hurts.
GANDER
So you stole another fake.
ALEX
Well you told CULM you will have
it to him in half an hour. So you
now have 15 minutes.
COBO
Oh, my god, what are we to do.
Ahhh!
ALEX
So what do we do now?
GHOST
Here you are MILTON.
COBO
Thank you GHOST!
INT. FINAL STRAW - 10 - 28
COBO is so incensed he tries a final last ditch plan B
which is to plan both baddies off against each other.
Final scene is a the warehouse space lock where COBO was
strung up. CULM rocks up and reluctantly hands over SLIM
as COBO has shows him the copy but tells him he has the
original. Before COBO gives the original to CULM, MARCO
rocks up with his henchmen and demands the painting. COBO
throws the painting in the air with a flourish saying
'come and get it boys'. Both groups lay into each other
and in the scramble the fake gets destroyed our team are
leaving just as the Cops rock up, the case having been
resolved by the destruction of what the two groups of
buddies think is the original.
DOCKS AREA REVERB,
MUSIC
COBO
When you live outside the law, at
the fringes of society, you're
always going to have days like
this. What office folks might
call a bad day in the office. Well
the thing is not to panic, because
people like these lot of criminals
are like dogs, they can smell
fear. So the trick is to use your
grifting skills, to make out you
know something they don't. Then
they generally hold off, whilst
they try to figure out what it is
they don't know. That's when you
can do the grift, right under
there noses.
CULM arrives with his henchmen.
ELECTRIC CAR WHINE -
VEHICLE DOORS
CULM
(Sigh) So you have bought my
painting?
COBO
So have you bought my friend.
CULM
Painting first!
COBO
Friend first, or there's no deal!
CULM
I don't believe you are in a
position to negotiate, do you?
COBO
Well, if you believe that, it
could be the worse decision you've
ever made. I see my friend. You
see your painting.
CULM
Get him out!
SLIM is taken out of the back of the vehicle, beaten with
hands ties, not looking good. They rip the mouth tape
off.
SLIM
Arghh!
CULM
Now your turn!
COBO goes to get painting out of bag. Just as he does so,
another fleet of vehicle enters the warehouse, its MARCO
and his henchmen.
CULM
Oh its you!
MARCO
Right, who's got my painting?
CULM
This is none of your business
MARCO.
MARCO
Well, I'm making it my business
BORIS you Slavic pig farmer. I've
been dancing around this for too
long!
CULM
My name is not BORIS.
MARCO
It is when I'm talking to you.
CULM
You know calling me BORIS is
racist.
MARCO
Tough!
COBO
Ahh, excuse me can we get on with
this please.
MARCO
What are you doing here?
COBO
What the hell, do you think I am
doing here. I have come to swap
this painting for my friend.
MARCO
That is my painting.
CULM
No its my painting.
MARCO
Well, I nicked it fair and square.
CULM
Well now I am getting it back.
COBO
That's enough!
MARCO
Well, who are you shouting at.
COBO
(Loosing his temper) You, both of
you. Have you never heard of
honour amongst thieves. Some kind
of nodding appreciation amongst
your peers. Your like a couple of
five year olds, "Please miss he's
nicked my painting". Its pathetic,
and I've had it with both of you!
CULM
Get that painting.
COBO
Ahhh! Not so quick or I will slash
it! (Pause) Now look ! I've had a
gun drawn on me, been hung upside
down, and kicked in the air. I've
been threatened by multiple
nationalities, I've been running
around most of New London, chasing
after a picture of two stupid
women, that looks like it was
found in a boot sale. I've been
lied to, cheated and generally
abused. Just because me and my
colleagues were trying to earn an
honest crust after a long period
in the nick. Then Rasputin here
(CULM) went and kidnapped my
friend.
CULM
Rasputin is worse than Boris.
COBO
Shut it!
COBO
Now I don't know who's painting
this is, and to be honest I don't
give a flying spaceship either, I
have had a very bad day!
MARCO
Do you know who you are talking
too?
CULM
Never mind who I am talking too,
you want to worry about who we are
son! We are grifters and soldiers,
yeah! This pair over here are ex
CIS special circumstances, this
women runs the largest smuggling
operation out of New London and I
have sold city hall three times to
different consortia in a single
day! We have broken banks, and
political parties, we took on the
mafia in the Bencubbin we have
fort multiple mercenary campaigns
and won against the Friedlander's
and we have made the New London
special branch look like the
keystone cops. So never mind about
you two threatening us, now I'm
threatening you! We are going to
make you our hobby, spend
sleepless nights working out how
to take everything from you ,
every credit. Never mind about
this painting, you'll be worrying
about where you are going to sleep
at night. (Pause) because we are
going to pick you clean! We will
strip every bit of flesh off your
bones.
SLOW CLAP
MARCO
(Chuckle) Slow clap
CULM
(Chuckle) Slow clap
MARCO
Nice speech, I've got just one
question.
COBO
Yeah what's that?
MARCO
How are you lot going to do that
when you're dead?
CULM
(Chuckle) yes very good! Hah!
MARCO
Now give me my painting.
CULM
No, you give me my painting!
COBO
Jesus, some people just never
listen, do they. I will tell you
what you can sort it out amongst
yourselves.
PAINTING TOOSED ON
FLOOR THEN FIGHT
ENSUES
CULM
Its mine
MARCO
Careful!
FISTICUFFS.
CULM
Its mine.
MARCO
No its mine!
HUNCHMEN LAYING
INTO EACH OTHER.
SLIM
Well, this is a mighty fine party.
GANDER
You didn't phone or write?
SLIM
Well, I was tied up Madam!
GANDER
(laughter)
SLIM
I see that horse rustling bastard
MARCO is having fun? Its a good
job he turned up.
COBO
Yeah well, I phoned him.
SLIM
What?
COBO
Yes well you can't have a good
party without the right guests can
you. I thought I put on a good
accent. (Accent) "hello Mr
CRANTOCK would you like to know
who the RABASCA Brother were
working for when they double
crossed you, yes, yes I do have
you got a pen"
SLIM
Well, they don't seem to be taking
to each other?
COBO
Yeah well I phoned the other one
as well. (Accent) "Yes he cheated
a friend of mine, so when I found
out he stole your painting, I
thought it right to call you"
SLIM
Do you think there will be jelly!
COBO
Oh yes because I phoned the cops
too, they should be here, let me
see about now!
SHARROW
Oh look I think they just put of
foot through the painting!
SLIM
Is that the real painting.
COBO
Oh, no its just a fake.
SLIM
Look I don't want to seem
ungrateful and I don't want to
queer your floor show, but
wouldn't it just be simpler to get
the real painting.
GANDER
ALEX hitting SLIM is not going to
make you feel any better!
(laughter)
SLIM
Oh! Have I stuck my boot in some
cow shit.
COBO
SLIM leave it. Now lets get
moving before the cops show up!
INT. DRINKS ALL ROUND - 10 - 29
LOCATION: Retrograde - Small Bar
GHOST
Here you go, some GHOST tails!
GANDER
What are they!
GHOST
Well, its my variant of a Benson
martini.
GANDER
Oh. Excellent, thank you GHOST
exactly what the doctor ordered!
Its been a very long day! (Pause)
So MILTON what I don't understand
is why they are not still after us
after they destroyed another fake?
COBO
Oh, that's simple, in the heat of
the moment they convinced
themselves that it must be the
original, but then of course they
destroyed it. Why would they
think to check a damaged painting?
GANDER
Ah, the power of auto suggestion,
of course.
COBO
So they agreed the easier course
was to get HESSE to knock up two
more fakes so they could both save
face. She is the only one to do
well out of this, she must have a
regular production line of fake
Falero's.
ALEX
And she took my metaphorical
cherry!
SHARROW
You metaphorical cherry, well,
well! Perhaps that's why you look
so down hearted? So MILTON are you
sure these criminals get to live
happily every after. When we last
saw them they were laying into
each other.
COBO
Well as happy as they can be,
being homicidal maniacs.
Essentially market forces came
into play and they agreed to
retreat back to their respective
area's of criminality. It was
becoming to expensive in terms of
collateral damage.
GANDER
The best bit is that STANK now has
a fake FALERO, that gives me
pleasure.
ALEX
It seems the only ones who made
anything out of this, were the
RABASCA brothers, they walked away
with four hundred grand!
SHARROW
Wait we got something far more
precious, our cowboy friend here.
SLIM
Well I'm mighty proud of you'll
and I owe you big time. It sure
was a sticky situation. MILTON,
next time I am going out with you
I am going heavily armed.
COBO
Well I guess that's to be
expected. Thank you SLIM and
sorry to give you a bad day.
I owe you one and you can't put a
price on the friendship of a
grifter, I feel some prose is in
order: (Groan from others) You
came as a ray of light, Made my
life cheerful and bright,
Showering your affection over me.
So that my face was full of glee.
GENERAL GROAN
ALEX
Stack me in the corner, away from
HESSE though.
GANDER
You should have seen MILTON, SLIM
he was so full of remorse he even
started quoting TS Elliot's
Wastelands at one point. Even I
felt the power of the prose!
SLIM
(Laughter) Well, that's mighty
fine of you Mr COBO! (Laughter)
Well, it seems that apart from a
few bruises, everything has worked
out well in the end! Lets drink to
that (Drinking noises)(Pause) Did
you really mean what you said at
the warehouse?
COBO
Well, sort of. At that point I was
playing for time, the cops were a
little late, so I thought I would
do my number two monolog, its
always good to play to an
attentive audience and it did
waste some time.
SHARROW
I thought you were speaking from
the heart.
ALEX
Well, I don't know about MILTON's
heart but he was talking a lot,
but not really saying much!
COBO
Yes well, as I say, its good to
clear the lungs and vent the
spleen.
GHOST
Looks like you folks need a top up
I have made some more Benson's.
Oh, I need to tell you a message,
it's from that HESSE women. She
has called three times, she sounds
really nice. Kept asking about
ALEX.
ALEX
You haven't told her I'm here,
have you? If she finds I'm staying
long term I'm going back to Earth.
GHOST
No, I used my third law override
taught to me by Mr Winchell whilst
conducting poker lessons. It
worked very well, but, she did
sound disappointed. I told her,
you don't live in the Bencubbin,
and you were just visiting from
Earth along with your friend Ms
MAY.
ALEX
Well, thank goodness for that.
(Pause) Cheers!
LAUGHTER
END