Bilingual Bachcha with Balveen

A familiar voice, Balveen returns with a life update and shares her new children's book company, Bilingual Bachcha, a brand that creates children's books in Hindi, Gujurati, Punjabi, etc. in an effort to encourage language learning in bilingual homes.

Find her on IG @BilingualBachcha
Shop here and on Amazon
Tune into her original episode here

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:08

Hi everyone, welcome back to. But what Will People Say? I'm your host, disha Mazzappa, and this is a South Asian Insuraisal, relationship and Lifestyle podcast. Welcome back for another episode. Hi everyone, welcome back. My guest this week is another familiar face. Balvin is joining us again.

Speaker 1: 0:27

She was one of the original guests on the show and her original episode will be linked down below in the show notes. But she's back four years later and since then she's gotten married, she has a three-year-old now. She's giving us a little life update and the biggest update is she is now the author of a children's book that encourages language learning for biracial kids, which so many of you have or will probably have one day, in an attempt to pass on the language. We talk about kind of how complicated it is to then navigate motherhood after having kids and realizing we now have to figure out two cultures and carrying some of that pressure but also letting some of it go. She is the creator of bilingual butcha and her books are translated in, I believe, gujarati and Punjabi, and more languages are coming. All of that is linked down below. If you want to check out her children's books, they're super cute. Highly recommend that you guys go check them out, but let's get into today's episode Without further ado.

Speaker 1: 1:32

Here's Balvin. Hi everybody, welcome back to the show. We're here with Balvin. She is a familiar face in these parts, but it has been quite a while since we heard from you, so reintroduce yourself and give us a little life update from when we last chatted.

Speaker 2: 2:06

Yeah, I know, I think it's been about three years now. So my yeah for everyone. My name is Balvin Singh. I am a South Asian in an interracial relationship and I think since we last spoke, I think I was engaged or maybe I was married, I don't remember but in a relationship. But now, three years later, I've gotten married, we bought a house and I have my husband and I have a three year old now so biracial daughter and I'm kind of currently on the journey of figuring out what that means right, how to weave my culture and my husband's culture and figure out what to pass on to our daughter. So, yeah, it's been. It's been a really interesting and crazy journey. In the process, I've kind of launched my own business where I create bilingual books and products for specifically children growing up in the diaspora, and I launched my first book earlier this year. I designed it so I can kind of teach my daughter Hindi. And, yeah, I'm really excited to kind of talk about my journey a little bit more.

Speaker 1: 3:35

Awesome, yeah, so tell us about your business. What's it called? And kind of, I know having a daughter is what inspired it, but let's get more into that.

Speaker 2: 3:44

Yeah, so my business is called bilingual Bacha, so Bacha is child in Hindi, and I really I started it because when I was on maternity leave, home alone, and I had my daughter during COVID and so everyone was on lockdown, couldn't have friends and family visit, and I spent a lot of my time, you know, just reading books to my daughter, and in that moment, when she was born, I realized, you know, it kind of it's something that hit me when I first, you know, was on maternity leave was, you know, I really want to do everything that I can to help her learn my heritage language and I need help doing that, because my husband is American. He doesn't speak Hindi. We also live across the country from my family, right, so I don't have a larger, we don't have a larger community of Hindi speakers that live close by where we can, you know, engage in the language and help our daughter be immersed in the language. And so I realized I was like I need to, I need resources, I need help to do this, and books were kind of a natural way. We wanted to make sure she was exposed to a lot of books when she was young, and books was the way that, you know I thought would be a great way to expose her to the language.

Speaker 2: 5:19

So I started searching for bilingual Hindi books, because one thing about me is I speak Hindi but I can't read the Hindi script. And so a lot of the books that I was children's books that I was finding were written in the Hindi script, with the English translation right, but there is no way for me to actually be able to read the Hindi portion. And so I decided, you know, I was like I need a book with the transliteration of the Hindi script so I can actually read the Hindi text. And so I found it really hard to find books that had that component. And so I was like you know what I've been observing, what my daughter likes, what she doesn't like, what resonates with her. Why don't I try doing this on my own? And so that's when I wrote a little manuscript. I reached out to a collaborator who was, you know, had a lot of experience in the children's book world, and she helped me kind of develop the book and we took it. We took it from there.

Speaker 1: 6:36

Amazing. Yeah, I think what's been cool is watching all the people like us who married outside the culture and then like looking for the resources, not finding them, and then kind of creating them. And it's kind of a bit of a trend because we really are the first generation where it's becoming very not very mainstream, but mainstream enough that there is like a target audience for this stuff that, like, is looking for it, that would benefit from it. And one thing we hear all the time is you're going to throw your culture away, like if you step outside our culture, like it's over, your kids won't speak the language or they won't know the food or they won't be as cultured as we supposedly are, and I'm sure you heard some of that.

Speaker 2: 7:30

Yes, and that's the thing it's like in my, you know, experience, when I was first letting my family know that I was dating someone who was outside of the culture, that was kind of you know. They've listed off a lot of concerns. You know you're gonna be Distance from the culture. You'll lose your link. Your children won't speak the language they won't understand. You know our customs and our food and our religion and, to be honest, one of the things you know that I Heard and then I was also concerned about was that the language portion. Right, it's.

Speaker 2: 8:14

I think I was fortunate enough to know, to learn you know, hindi when I was younger, and that was something in the back of my mind or I'm like, oh yeah, that would be kind of a bummer if I, you know, my children would lose the ability to speak that language.

Speaker 2: 8:32

But the thing is it's you know you don't need two people who speak that language or two people within the same culture that speak that language in order to have your children learn the language as well. There is other ways to go about it and so it's it shouldn't be a limiting factor right in your decision to live your life and and the thing, and it's it's easier definitely right If you marry, if your partner also speaks the same language. It's part of the same culture. It's definitely easier, but it's not. I Guess, taking that alternative route it doesn't make it impossible. And there is, you know, more and more people who have joined the club, the club of you know, being in a an inner racial relationship, and there's more and more products that are coming out every day to kind of Solve problems and meet the needs of the community.

Speaker 1: 9:39

Yeah, and you know, I feel like even the kids who decided to stay within the culture marry the right person. They still don't know how to pass on the language. I know plenty of kids who don't speak the language and that is yo.

Speaker 2: 9:56

That's the thing. Yeah, you're totally right. Even if you do have to to people within the same culture doesn't necessarily mean that the language will be passed on. It's really a very intentional thing. You really have to make the effort to integrate the language into your life and, yeah, the magic formula is not is not two people who speak the same language, it's Just two people who want, you know, want to pass on the language, and it will figure out the means and the resources to make it happen?

Speaker 1: 10:34

Yeah, pretty much so. Children's book publishing we've had lots of authors around here YA authors, adult fiction, fantasy, all of that but Kids books publishing is like a whole different thing. I feel like that's a whole other world, especially because now you're looking at illustrators, you're looking at Just. I feel like there's just different rules to that. What was it like? Kind of deciding like a children's book is what I want to do.

Speaker 2: 11:05

Yeah, it was a, it was.

Speaker 2: 11:09

I think that I spent so much time reading, reading books to my daughter and I kind of saw what resonated with her, what didn't, what aspects of a book Were, you know, more appealing. And with children's books, you know, words are one, one part of the experience the, the illustrations, the story, the, you know, even activities and and with incorporated within the book are really key. And so I I kind of had this vision of, like, the components. I wanted to make sure it was bright, colorful and that she saw herself in the story as well. Right, I think growing up I it was very there was only a you know very few books where I saw brown characters or characters like me represented in the story and seen illustrations of darker skin, brown kids, and so those are all things that I knew that I wanted to incorporate, and then After that I needed help. So I I had to go out and find experts and people who had experience in this industry to kind of help and guide me, develop the book to its kind of final form.

Speaker 1: 12:32

Is this like, is the, I guess. If you are looking at your business in five years, what do you see it becoming? Because right now, what are your products you have? I know you have one book, yeah, so I have one book.

Speaker 2: 12:48

It's called junk chalo jungle chale. Um. It is the Hindi, english bilingual version. I'm also working on translating it into good your athi and fun job II as well. Um, so hoping to kind of expand their reach Of this initial book to more languages. And then I already, you know, have started working on the manuscript for my next book as well. Um, in addition to books, I want to, you know, expand it to bilingual products as well. So, definitely working on ideas for Other types of products right, that's what I'm trying to do Products, right, that can help, you know, expand bilingual education within the home as well.

Speaker 1: 13:34

Amazing. Yeah, I feel like it's always nice to have a vision, because so many of these brands and ideas are still fairly new and Looking forward. It's nice to know like, oh, all of these things will be available one day. Um, within kind of our little community we have here, um, some Things along the way are always a bit of a challenge, our are there things that you were kind of like surprised by or that were particularly difficult, that you didn't expect?

Speaker 2: 14:13

Yeah, so definitely, um, as, like a small business owner yourself, I'm sure you've experienced this. But, like creating it took me about Uh, eight months to a year to actually develop the, the book, um, and then when I actually launched it, I realized that that was the easy part, because the marketing of it and getting the word out there then that that is becomes like the hardest part, right, um, developing your marketing strategy, um, you know, going and speaking to different media outlets and going to physical events and it just it's just non-stop, it's just an endless cycle, and so definitely the marketing portion is Is something that I didn't expect to be so time-consuming and challenging, but, on the other hand, it's kind of led me to have to interact with other folks in the community, right, other folks who are looking for bilingual products or have had a similar Experience then that I have, and just meeting a bunch of people who are kind of on the same journey has been, has also been amazing.

Speaker 1: 15:31

So For your books that you're creating. I know marketing is my marketing. Brain is always on. It never stops to the point where, like I think people think I'm cynical Because like they'll be like at I don't know there'll be. Like watching a show and they're like all into it. I'm sitting there. I'm like that was a producer. This is on purpose, that ad was on purpose. They use these colors for a reason. Like they chose that font for a reason. They're like no, maybe they just really like doing it. I'm like no.

Speaker 1: 16:03

Like there's money on the line and nobody doing it for fun.

Speaker 2: 16:07

Yeah, oh yeah.

Speaker 1: 16:10

It makes me kind of a crazy person, but You're obviously like creating this book, wanting to like, provide it to your daughter and have this resource. If someone listening to this because we actually have a Surprisingly large amount of listeners that are not South Asian it's a lot of people who are either Dating someone South Asian or have someone their life that is in an interracial relationship like in laws or partners and stuff Mm-hmm, can they use the book as well, like, is it sort of a resource where they can also read it to their kids or their grandkids?

Speaker 2: 16:44

Yeah, no, yeah, definitely, that is.

Speaker 2: 16:48

That is kind of one of the main things that I, you know the the book is geared towards children growing up in the Indian diaspora, right, but because of my unique experience being in an interracial relationship, I've really designed it for that, you know, to meet the needs of that specific community, and so, by incorporating the transliteration someone who doesn't Read, can't read the Hindi script, can also engage with the book.

Speaker 2: 17:20

So my husband, he's American, he doesn't speak Hindi, he can, you know, uh, read the book and it's a great way for him to Also learn alongside my daughter, um, and I've gotten so much feedback from, you know, adults, you know adults who are learning other languages or Learning Hindi, and them telling me that children's books were like kind of part of their, their strategy and what they use to learn the language, and so this is, you know, I can read this book to my daughter, my husband can read it to her, to our daughter, and he can also use it to kind of learn with her as well. So so, yeah, it's, it's definitely designed to meet the needs of of Folks who speak the language and others who don't know and who were interested in learning.

Speaker 1: 18:15

Awesome Love, the accessibility of that, what? What's kind of been the best part of all of this? I know you said you've got to be lots of people who probably are in Interracial relationships and that is, I will say, always particularly fun. But what if you really enjoyed about this process?

Speaker 2: 18:34

Yeah, I think that, um, well, the first part is Kind of in the process of creating the book. I've really, like I, you know, collaborating with other people In developing the book you know, collaborating with my illustrator and then meeting other Folks in the South Asian Children's literature community as well. There's so many other great folks who are also, you know, trying to develop bilingual products or books and products that either cater to, you know, bilingual learning, or just Providing more representation to South Asian communities. It's been so great to kind of connect with other people who are just on the same mission and trying to do the same thing. Everyone that I've met, they're so Open, so supportive, so collaborative. That part has been amazing.

Speaker 2: 19:33

And then the other piece I'll say is when I first launched the book, I, you know, made it available for sale on Amazon and I was like, I hope, you know, I don't know, I don't know how people, if people are gonna be in we're gonna be interested in this, or you know If they were gonna buy it. But I've just been so pleasantly surprised with I'm seeing consistent sales, which is great, and and then also folks reaching out to me and letting me know like, oh my gosh, thank you so much for writing this. You know making this available. I've struggled to teach my kids Hindi and this resource has been so helpful. Like receiving messages like that has been has made it all all worth it.

Speaker 1: 20:20

Yeah, those are always the messages that make it worth it, even on my end, like I always tell people, like there's a little folder of screenshots in my phone that when I feel sad about the podcast, I just sit there and I read them and I make myself feel better.

Speaker 2: 20:35

Yeah, yeah, I mean it's like you might not have because this like bilingual books, especially in the US, right, spanish is very popular, mandarin Chinese is very popular, hindi is, you know, a little less popular, but then some of the other South Asian languages, right, are even more niche. So this is definitely a niche product. It doesn't have mass appeal, but the few people that you are helping find such deep value in it, right, that that it makes it all worth it your podcast as well, like it's such a.

Speaker 2: 21:13

It is. It's a niche topic but the folks who are, you know, going through that experience and Whether there's you know, dating their significant other and trying to figure out how to tell their parents, or they're already on the next stage of their life, it's such a. I think the advice that you offer and the guests that you have just offer such unique experience, that really helps, really helps guide people who are kind of going through that in their lives and it's really meaningful.

Speaker 1: 21:46

Thank you, I appreciate that. But one thing I notice with all of these things, all of these sort of culture-based products, is that all of the pressure to pass this on always goes to the women. Like even the interracial relationships where the husband is South Asian and the heterosexual relationship, the woman is American, white, black, hispanic, whatever they are always the ones taking on the like, passing on the culture, like I don't know if it's like an inherently female thing to do, but like I even see it online and all these couples that I follow are like even if the woman isn't brown, she's the one celebrating the holidays and decorating and trying to learn the language. And I feel like the guys just like totally get off the hook.

Speaker 2: 22:39

Yes, I agree, I agree, and that's been my experience as well. I mean, I would love to say like, oh my gosh, my husband dropped everything and he became fluent in Hindi and learned all about the Wali and those, how to cook all these dishes. But no, it's, it is me. It is me, and I think it's a lot of women, like you said, kind of driving all of that and it is exhausting. It is exhausting Just always thinking about like, oh, I gotta plan this and gotta plan even the birthday parties and all the. It is very exhausting and it's a day to day by day for me to figure out how to find more balance in a relationship when it comes to all those things. So if any other listeners have advice, please let me know.

Speaker 1: 23:41

Do you ever feel like the pressure gets to you, like you're putting all this pressure on yourself.

Speaker 2: 23:49

Yes, actually, one of the things that I felt really overwhelmed by in like in my own personal experience, was when my daughter was first born and I realized that I really wanted a teacher Hindi. I thought that my goal was to make her fluent and if she did not become fluent then I had failed. Right, and after speaking with other people who were on the same journey and also, you know, in multiracial relationships or trying to teach their children a language, I realized that it's not my job to make my daughter fluent. It's my job to help her develop a positive association with the language and with the culture. Right, and ultimately it's going to be up to her. She's going to decide whether she wants to be fluent or not. That's not my job.

Speaker 2: 24:56

And I think that when I realized that, it took like a huge weight off my shoulders, you know, and I think that if you kind of set unrealistic goals, it could be also damaging to the kids as well, right, and when I get into a mode where I'm trying to force my daughter to learn something or become fluent in this language, she is likely to resent me for it, right, and develop a negative association. I think that was my experience, actually, when I was a kid, my parents really, you know, strictly enforced not only learning language but also, you know, cultural expectations, gender norms, things like that, and that really put a sour taste in my mouth with being Indian and being a certain way. When I was younger, and it wasn't until I, further down the line, became an adult, that I started more appreciating our culture and our language, when I was able to kind of distance myself from all of that. And so yeah, like it's definitely like a balance you kind of have to strike.

Speaker 1: 26:19

Definitely, I think, the older I get and, like you, it's like being able to step back, look at the culture for what it is the good, the bad, the weird and it makes me and I don't know if you've experienced this, but like it makes me almost hesitant to put my kids too deep into the culture because I know how damaging it has been and continues to be Like, yes, we've made a ton of progress and I don't want to be the girl shitting on South Asians.

Speaker 1: 26:53

But like you know, I think about like okay, if I have kids one day, like will I send them? They have. I live in New Jersey. There's tons of like little you know South Asian language learning groups and like the temples have all the little groups for the kids to like learn about Hinduism and the language. And I think about the way I grew up in those spaces as a temple kid and I'm like, yes, I learned the language, I know the culture, but there was a price that came with that. There was the other kind of toxic bullshit.

Speaker 1: 27:27

So then, when I think about having kids, I'm like, honestly, is it worth it? Was it worth it? Like I don't. I don't know that I'm at a point and, like I said, I'm a working prod, I guess here too. But I'm like I don't know if I'm at a point where, like, I would send my kids to like temple school. You know what I mean. Yeah, like I kind of want, you know, I want like that I don't want to call it sanitized, but like sanitized version of like learning about culture and language and the good parts that I want to pass on without worrying about like sending them to this class and what is this like random person going to tell them about what it means to be South Asian.

Speaker 2: 28:08

Yeah, no, 100%. I totally agree with you. I think that it's, I guess, the the opportunity for, like you know, folks of our generation right with with the next generation of kids, as we get to define how you know, like, what we're going to pass on and what things we're going to leave behind, because, yes, there's a lot of things that I plan on leaving behind. And, yeah, same with the like with you, I also went to like a few like bunjabi schools when I was younger and, yeah, they were just not designed to be fun and engaging and not not just, yeah, they're not like the children were not at the focus of those types of classes for sure. So, yeah, I myself like I'm not planning on sending my daughter to anything like that.

Speaker 2: 29:22

I think that I see I've there's so many folks that I've met living in different parts of the US that are kind of recreating that model and actually creating language classes that are centered around the child, that are fun and engaging and focusing on, you know, the things that we, you know, the positive aspects of language and culture. I live in Atlanta right now and I haven't been able to find anything like that in Atlanta, but I would love you know of something like a more modern version of a language class popped up here and for the time being I yeah it. There's a lot of resources that exist that I do not plan on engaging with because it just doesn't fit the you know, it doesn't fit what I'm trying to pass on to my daughter because there's a lot of you know a lot of.

Speaker 2: 30:25

I mean the list goes on all the things that you want to leave behind the, the gender norms, the colorism, the all that stuff that you know yeah, yeah, it's tough, it's.

Speaker 1: 30:38

it's such a messy thing to think about because, until you and I noticed this about myself like as someone who's kind of backed away from the culture, because ultimately, when you choose to marry someone who's not brown, it doesn't matter how supportive everyone is about it there's still a level of like, like that those rose colored glasses that I feel like some South Asians wear disappear, because you have two different realities competing.

Speaker 1: 31:07

There's the world you grew up in that's very brown, with other brown people, and then there's this other life you live where, like, you have a partner who's not brown and you probably have a bunch of friends and family who are not brown, and then when you hear them talk about the same things that you are maybe taught growing up and you're like, oh wait, that is fucked up. And the people who stay in it. Sometimes it feels like, because they've benefited from it in so many ways, it's okay for them to just like swallow the other lies. You know what I mean. Does that make sense? Like if you're in a very set, like in a temple, and you like whatever, all these things that they're saying about, like gender roles and whatever, like, I feel like there's less questioning of it in that bubble versus when you're outside of it and you can't like unsee it.

Speaker 2: 31:57

Yeah, well, you mean just people who are complacent and they kind of accept.

Speaker 1: 32:02

Yeah, because generally benefited from, like a large majority of the way the culture is.

Speaker 2: 32:08

And I think that you and I are here because we did not benefit from the way it was Right and no, and I do. Yeah, I've also seen that in my own experience as well, like people who are sticking or more traditional, even people you know are age right.

Speaker 1: 32:32

Yes, they're at age.

Speaker 2: 32:34

Yeah, they're all age. They're deciding they're going to stick with the traditions and take the good and the bad, like take the whole. You know, I think they have a definition of this is what it means to be part of the culture and I have to take everything and they're okay with everything. And there's other people who are, you know, stepping out of that and deciding you know these things don't serve me anymore. But yeah, it is, it is pretty, it is pretty interesting. It is pretty interesting to see. I have a lot of family members who are very traditional and that kind of in terms of what they value and things like that. That's kind of what they've stuck with, but it's very, pretty interesting to see.

Speaker 1: 33:28

Yeah, it's just something I feel like the older I get, the more and more I notice because, like, I feel like I got married and then, you know, there was this intense pressure of like can't lose the culture, got to keep the culture, all this, you know, like there's that initial like, oh, I have to, like prove to that, I'm still brown. Yeah, but like the older I get, I've been married now for almost five years where I'm like, actually I don't have to explain anything to anybody and some of y'all, especially the millennials, who, like, are forcing your kids to be doctors and still care about cast and still care about, like you know, raising your kids to like not date outside the culture. I'm like y'all are crazy, I'm going to say it, but I'm like it's like you, it's like you saw the damage but you don't care.

Speaker 2: 34:23

Yes, yeah, yes. Well, you care about what other people think more than the well-being of your children.

Speaker 1: 34:39

Yes, potentially. Yeah, yeah, we have veered off track in this conversation. It's okay, I don't know why that's the direction I went in today, but I think it was more like trying to teach our kids language, and I'm like I don't know, because one thing I always stress here is like I will try my best when I have kids to pass on the things that matter to me, but I'm also not going to put the pressure on myself to like get it all down perfectly and honestly pass every ounce of it on. I think like I've almost like teared the things that matter most to me and like I've just come to terms with that. Like chances that my kids are fluent in a language are fairly slim. It's, you know, my husband doesn't speak the language I've never expected him to. It was not something I wanted of him when we were dating and I don't expect it now. And it's kind of like, yeah, I'll probably end up getting your book and trying my best and then like getting on with it, you know.

Speaker 2: 35:39

Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1: 35:41

And I think, with the pressure, I just feel like I've tried to shave off because I felt like it kept me trapped in it. I think that's where I was going with that.

Speaker 2: 35:53

Yeah, no, and I think that's a great point. It's like you have to kind of decide what is important to you and just focus on that, because putting pressure on yourself to do everything is just unrealistic and it's not going to work out. And so, yeah, there's like so many parts like language is one thing right that I'm focused on, but there's so many other parts where I'm just I've just made my peace with letting those things go, because there's not, they're not as high priority on my list, they're not things that I you know that are important to my husband and I. So, yeah, you just I think it's such a individual thing and, yeah, you really have to prioritize and just focus on the top things and be okay with everything else, for sure.

Speaker 1: 36:50

Yeah, what have been? Besides the books that you're creating, have there been other strategies that you found were helpful for helping your daughter learn the language or understand it more?

Speaker 2: 37:02

Yeah, so I think that something that I learned from others on the same journey was, you know, first, knowing your goal right. And, like I said, like if your goal is to make them 100% fluent, it's just not going to be attainable right, that is not up to you, it's going to be up to your child, but that's one thing. Knowing your goal, my goal, my goal for my daughter is, like, I just want her to be conversational, like I'm not. My goal is not that she learns, you know, fluently, to speak it, and I mean to to read it right or write it right. I just, I'm just focused on conversational.

Speaker 2: 37:55

And then the other pieces creating like a plan and something that I call a bilingual like toolkit. So. So books is a part of that. Music, movies, games, things that you can kind of pull from quickly. Right, I have a toddler right now. She's very temperamental and so sometimes she feels like listening to music, sometimes she just, you know, feels like playing games, and you just have to have things available that you can kind of pull from to to kind of incorporate that bilingual aspect.

Speaker 2: 38:36

And then another thing is, like something that I have put of higher importance is is travel for us. I think that, when you're creating your plan right, a travel can be definitely a luxury for you know, definitely in these times, right, it's flights are so expensive, it's a really expensive thing to do. But really deciding, right, what's important to your family and what you're going to, what you're willing to spend money on and what you're not willing to spend money on, and so for us, I really want to prioritize traveling to our, our home country, right To expose my daughter to the culture and being in a, in a place where she sees people around her speaking the language and using the language as their main form of, you know, communication, and getting around and seeing people order food and just going back their day to day in the language, and so those are all things that kind of I've tried to kind of structure and have decided, you know, those are the things that I'm going to prioritize Awesome.

Speaker 1: 39:57

I feel like we've covered all kinds of things here. My last question is always the same If you could provide the listeners of this show with a piece of advice or some words of wisdom, what would it be?

Speaker 2: 40:11

Yeah, you know what. I think that I was thinking about this question and I kind of like going back to what was it eight years ago for me when I was dating my husband and I was scared about telling my parents and kind of taking that big leap. I think that in that experience and I see a lot of people you know on online forums and groups who are part of the South Asian women and interracial relationships community ask questions around you know how can I basically approach my parents in the nicest possible way that's gonna be most easy for them to digest? And my main takeaway there is like I think being nice and putting your head down and doing as you're told is something that's so ingrained into us that whenever we are in a position where we need to speak our mind and do what's best for us, we feel like that's being mean or going against our family, but it's really not. It's just respecting yourself right and fighting for what you want.

Speaker 2: 41:32

And so my main takeaway is like you shouldn't feel like you're a bad person, a mean person, for basically, you know, standing up for yourself and doing something that's gonna be the best decision for your life, and if you're scared about you know, as I was right About, oh my gosh, I'm gonna lose my culture, my language. You know, you're not, you're not, you'll figure it out. You will, you know, find other people and build a community, and there's, you know, find resources and if they're not resource, you'll create your own, just like I did right To solve your problem. So I think that people who are worried and concerned don't be like you can do it. You can do anything.

Speaker 1: 42:21

Amazing and speaking of doing anything, you did create this book. Where can people find your books? Do you have a website? Where can we find you on social media? All of the things?

Speaker 2: 42:31

Yeah, so I'm on Instagram and Facebook at bilingualbaccha. My website is bilingualbacchacom, and then you can find the book right now available on Amazon Chalo Jungle, chale. And yeah, please, if you are kind of on a similar journey, please feel free to reach out on social media. I'd be happy to kind of chat more.

Speaker 1: 42:59

Amazing. Thank you so much. This has been a pleasure. Thank you, thanks so much for tuning in guys. Make sure, if you enjoyed this episode, you leave us a review on iTunes. You can find the show on all major streaming platforms. You can find me on Instagram at Dishamazeppa. You can shop my Etsy shop, disha Mazeppa Designs. Find out everything you want to know about this show at DishaMazeppacom, and if you or someone you know would like to be a guest, you can email bwpspodcast at gmailcom. And I'll see you, guys next time. Bye, this podcast is hosted and produced by Disha Mazeppa. Music for the show was created by Crackswell.