The Quarterback DadCast
How our wives unfortunate health challenge brought two families together - Kip Stallcop
In 2020, we as a society all went through so many challenges. One of those challenges was the controversial aspects of COVID-19 and its vaccine. Some chose to get it, and some thought it was too risky. In today's episode, you will hear firsthand accounts of how my wife and Kip's wife were the unlucky ones to have severe adverse reactions post-vaccination that still affect them today. This is how I met Kip.
We share that meeting each other was a godsend, not only for us as dads but mainly for our wives, as they could share the emotional toll of their symptoms and navigate the health mystery together. Watching our once extremely active, healthy wives suffer with no answers for the past two and half years still brings frustration, confusion, and anger. I hope that our family's health adversity gives others a voice who might still be struggling with the same thing.
Throughout this episode, we also delve into the lighter aspects of life, exploring parenting and the magic of unexpected connections. We share personal stories, reflecting on our childhood memories and experiences that shaped our character.
There's laughter, sadness and stories that remind us of the power of human connection- it's a conversation you don't want to miss.
Our sea adventures cover fishing, wildlife tours, beach excursions, scuba diving, snorkeling, paddle
Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.
Please don't forget to leave us a review wherever you consume your podcasts! Please help us get more dads to listen weekly and become the ultimate leader of their homes!
In 2020, we as a society all went through so many challenges. One of those challenges was the controversial aspects of COVID-19 and its vaccine. Some chose to get it, and some thought it was too risky. In today's episode, you will hear firsthand accounts of how my wife and Kip's wife were the unlucky ones to have severe adverse reactions post-vaccination that still affect them today. This is how I met Kip.
We share that meeting each other was a godsend, not only for us as dads but mainly for our wives, as they could share the emotional toll of their symptoms and navigate the health mystery together. Watching our once extremely active, healthy wives suffer with no answers for the past two and half years still brings frustration, confusion, and anger. I hope that our family's health adversity gives others a voice who might still be struggling with the same thing.
Throughout this episode, we also delve into the lighter aspects of life, exploring parenting and the magic of unexpected connections. We share personal stories, reflecting on our childhood memories and experiences that shaped our character.
There's laughter, sadness and stories that remind us of the power of human connection- it's a conversation you don't want to miss.
Our sea adventures cover fishing, wildlife tours, beach excursions, scuba diving, snorkeling, paddle
Disclaimer: This post contains affiliate links. If you make a purchase, I may receive a commission at no extra cost to you.
Please don't forget to leave us a review wherever you consume your podcasts! Please help us get more dads to listen weekly and become the ultimate leader of their homes!
Hi, I'm Riley.
Speaker 2:And I'm Ryder and this is my Dad's Show, hey everybody.
Speaker 2:It's KCJ Cox with the quarterback Dadcast. I'm excited to announce we have a brand new sponsor joining the show, which is called LatitudeSitkacom, a Latitude 57. Now this company's mission is to provide an unparalleled Alaskan experience that will enable their customers to explore everything that the region has to offer. Additionally, they are dedicated to supporting and promoting the local community, the culture, as well as protecting and preserving the natural beauty that the resources of the region have to offer us. So I'm going there in June. I can't wait. And whether you're looking to find a wellness retreat, if you're looking for a place to take your favorite customer, if you're looking for a way to maybe take your leadership team, check out LatitudeSitkacom, because they will give you some amazing sea exploration from fishing to commercial fishing, wildlife tours, beach excursions, scuba diving, snorkeling, even paddle boarding. If none of those sound interesting to you, well then, go. Stay on land and go ITVing, hiking, hot springs, yoga, take a massage in. The team has over 20 years of local knowledge to serve you, and they also will be able to cook amazing meals while you are there staying in their facility. So go to LatitudeSitkacom now and book that next wellness retreat. You won't regret it. The majestic views will blow you away and, as I mentioned, I cannot wait to get there in June. So with that, let's welcome LatitudeSitka to the podcast and get right to today's episode.
Speaker 2:Hey everybody, it's KCJ Cox with the quarterback dadcast. We are at the tail end of season four and I am really excited for the next conversation. This has been something I've been wanting to do and talk about for a while and this is the most kind of random person I've ever met in my life, but someone I'm super grateful for that has entered my life because when I think we A we could be related in some weird bizarre way, but we've both been faced with some adversity in our life, that we both have something in common which we'll get into and my hope is that, as you're listening to this episode, as we get into a topic you know, two years ago, if I would have had this interview, it would have been like a farting church where it would have been, like you know, dropping an F bomb and that you're in your first grade, elementary class, which I would don't recommend anybody listening. Go do that. But we're going to talk about impacts of the, the controversial COVID and COVID vaccine, and something that happened to my wife and my in my buddy.
Speaker 2:Our next guest is in Kip Stall Cop. You're going to turn about her and hear what happened about his wife, but we're also going to talk about Kip the Dow. We're going to learn about how he was raised, how he's working hard to become that ultimate, or continue to be that ultimate quarterback of his household. So, without further ado, he's he put his name to spaulding, but I think we're going to call him Kip. Kip, welcome to the quarterback. Dad cast.
Speaker 1:Thanks, Casey.
Speaker 2:I appreciate it. So do you want me to call you Kip, or spaulding, what would be?
Speaker 1:you know, let's go with Kip on this, and then if you golf with me, you can definitely call me spaulding.
Speaker 2:Get your foot off the boat, all right, so we always start with. We always start with gratitude. So tell me, what are you most grateful for as a dad today?
Speaker 1:I, you know, I would say that my kids are are really doing well they my daughter just graduated college last year from Washington state. My son graduated a couple of years ago from Washington state and they both have really good jobs. They're successful going down the path of life and they're just really good kids they. They haven't caused us any trouble over the years and if you, if you meet them, you'd say you know their mom did a really good job raising them.
Speaker 2:So, oh, I have that in common too. I love them and that's like every parent's dream is to be able to have like kids who are like figuring out. They're, they're nice, they show up on time, they get a good handshake, they're going to be good employees or a good leader. You know we've done a lot of, I've done a lot of episodes on this podcast around, like youth sports or sports and so easy to get wrapped up in this or that, but in the end the number of kids are actually going to make the high school teams not very middle than very kids are going to make in colleges even smaller. And so it's been fun, almost like therapeutic, as I've talked to 230 almost dads about really good stuff. That's important, that it's almost like I've been getting free therapy out of my own podcast for the last almost five years. I hear you Well, I am grateful for a fan recording recording in November.
Speaker 2:This episode will come out in a few weeks, like I said. So I'm grateful. We had a fantastic Thanksgiving weekend Played in the golf tournament, the rider, a little husky cougar classic, saw some great people, saw my daughter playing her first high school jamboree, which is fun. So I was grateful. For kids are healthy, they care, they compete, good students and it's you know, it's just a journey that I'm constantly just grateful for and checking myself, because it's easy not to, it's easy to forget about those things as we get through the busyness or excuses of life.
Speaker 1:Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 2:Okay, well, before we go on, I want to give a shout out to your Poochies. We both have that in common. Our dogs passed away this year, so rest in peace, poochie. Hope your dog will find my dog, jenny. She's up there, probably chasing rabbits or doing something.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I'm sure, I'm sure he's on the lookout.
Speaker 2:Well, tell, tell him he's Jenny's fix, so don't get any ideas if they're in heaven. So. But I like to go inside that the your huddle from football analogy or metaphor and like tell me who, tell me about the, a little bit about each member of the squad, and I'd love to learn how you and your wife met.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so my wife's name is Kristen. We actually met in sixth grade. We both we both grew up in Pullman, hence the Washington state allegiance. But yeah, we met in sixth grade. We're good friends in middle school and then decided to take the leap in high school and start start, you know to date, in our junior year of high school and we were best friends before that. So we were kind of skeptical, I guess you'd say, about you know, should we start dating? Because you know, if it didn't work out then the friendship wasn't going to be there either. But 30, what? 34 years later, we've been together the entire time. She's, she's my rock and, and you know, just an awesome person. We had our. Our son is 24 years old and Kyle. He went to Washington state. And then our daughter is Kaylee, she also went to Washington state. She is going to get married next summer, so she's just got a real good fiance. We like him a lot. So, yeah, I mean the kids are doing great, wives doing great. It's, you know, a great family Couldn't ask for more.
Speaker 2:So good, I knew some of that story, but I had to ask anyways, because I want to get the listeners to learn more about you. My man, I love that. Well, how are we doing post Apple Cup, by the way?
Speaker 1:Too soon or too soon? Yeah, too soon. You know when you're when you're expecting to lose by a lot, and then you make it a game, and and just a play here or a play there, and and you lose by three to what would have been the, the probably the biggest upset in school history in the last year of the pack 12 is, yeah, a little hard to swallow. So you know, thanks for bringing it up.
Speaker 2:That game was fantastic. It's me being a central Washington, the harbor to the West, people that obviously know scoring a home. My dad was a Husky, my mom was a Cougar, no pun intended. So I, I was always down the middle, I, you know, and I so. Even to this day, I I have a hard time picking a team which is like so hard for me to say because I like winning and but what I mean? What a hell of a game.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, I mean we, we didn't. You know, statistically we didn't have any business, I guess, being that close. But you know, we gave them a run for the for their money. So it was, it was fun to watch, and then I drank a few beers after the game.
Speaker 2:So my sorrow, so so good, well, okay, so we've learned about the immediate squad let's. Let's go back to life at Pullman growing up, and I'd love to learn about what that journey was like for you and the impact that your parents had on you now that you're dead.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean I, I have, you know, outstanding parents, super supportive of everything we've done. We grew up in Pullman, involved in sports our whole lives and you know my parents were there every step of the way. I don't think my, I don't think either one of them ever missed a game, a soccer game, a T-ball game, basketball game, football game, whatever it was that that we were doing. You know they were there. So you know, very, very supportive in everything we did, spent a lot of time on Lake Cortal Lane. My parents got a cabin there back in the early 70s so we spent most of our weekends in the summer and summer vacations, water skiing and fishing and swimming and trying to stay out of trouble up there. But yeah, just you know my dad's a chiropractor, was he retired a few years ago, so self-employed his whole, his whole life, and so he really instilled. You know what it takes to be successful as an independent business owner, if you will. So you know he worked hard, gave us everything we asked for. You could say we were spoiled. There was very few things that that, you know, we asked for as kids, that that that we didn't get, and I've kind of passed that along, I guess, to my kids. So there's not a lot that they've asked for, that they haven't gotten, but they're appreciative of it. You know I was very appreciative of it, made me want to work hard when, when I, you know, flew the nest and had to fend for myself, I wanted to continue the lifestyle that I, that I was accustomed to when I grew up. So if you, if you do that, you have to work hard and, and you know, make a lot of sacrifices. But certainly they have great memories of my childhood.
Speaker 1:What about mom? Mom was stay-at-home mom, but she was. She was the mom that that everybody wanted to come over to the house and you know she cooked for everybody. You know she was the neighborhood mom for sure. My friends always, you know, love to come over to the house because they knew they were gonna be taken care of, you know, by her.
Speaker 1:So you know very supportive you, like I say, you know she was at every sporting event. You know as well and and just couldn't have been, you know, more supportive of of what we did. So you know it was fun for me and for my friends to just have, you know, a safe place to go to all the time and you know we had the basketball hoops and pool table and hot tub and video games and all that stuff. So you know our place was the place to be and mom was there, you know, baking cookies and feeding us and doing all those things that you know good moms do, so so good what I know, mom and dad, so with us yeah, yeah, they both live in Pullman still, and they were just here visiting down here in Phoenix.
Speaker 1:We moved down here a few months ago and and so they came down for the first time to see the house and spend some time for Thanksgiving, which was great, golfed and and you showed them the sights. So, yeah, they're doing well they're. They're both 77 years old and and going strong, so so good that's.
Speaker 2:You know my I think I think I shared the when we met. My pops passed away December 29, 2021. My mom still with us. My mom remarried, kind of big Al. Shout out to you big Al, which is how my mom is actually the one, how we got connected, which is kind of another kind of funny story, but it's funny when you I always tell people that have both parents that just appreciate it, and I know I know you do, you can hear it voice that I just had. We had I had a recent couple clients lose their there's their parents recently and when they're gone, they're gone, but it's either.
Speaker 2:I have so many cool memories, though, that I reflected back on.
Speaker 2:Even like with Paul, days can be, can be challenging, but you know, I think about like when I talked about it before we started recording and talked about writer recently with the school, and I have a picture on my desk of my me and my dad at the east I don't know, maybe south end zone, where writers gonna go to school and when I would drop, when I dropped them off to go through a college visit and we were there and I remember like spend some time, downtime. I remember what? Like walking by, I'm like, oh, my god, that's where it is, and so, like like saw the picture, took me right back that moment. But, yeah, that's right, it's awesome, man. Okay, if you think about like values that were, like your mom and dad said, this is, this is, these are must-haves, like this is how we raise you, these are the things that are most important. Is there like a story or two that comes to mind of like things that you learned that you shared with Kyle, kyle and Kaylee?
Speaker 1:you know. I would just say I don't know if I've I've have any specific one that I shared with the kids. Like I said earlier, it was. You know, if you, if you wanted to be successful in life, you had to work hard. You know it was in sports if I wasn't getting the playing time I wanted, and I wanted my dad to go talk to the coach and talk some sense into him. He said that's not my, that's not my, my, my role, that's not my spot. If you want more playing time, go talk to the coach and ask what you're doing wrong and ask what you can do to, you know, to earn that. So you know, nothing was you know given to him you know my dad.
Speaker 1:You know growing up he worked hard.
Speaker 1:You know I remember my, my brother and I would would have a job with my or from my dad pulling weeds down at his office building and, you know, as any lazy you know, 10, 11, 12, 13 year old kid, you know, does they, just, you know, pull the tops off the weeds and hope that you know the bushes, you know, show that. You know, don't show the roots that we missed. But my dad found out about it and so he hired the neighbor down the street. He fired us and hired the neighbor down the street to do the the weed pulling for us, and then paid him like three times the amount of money that he paid us. So and then, just, you know, just told us about it that I'm paying the guy down the street because you guys absolutely suck it. That your work ethic.
Speaker 1:And so the next time we you know he decided to, you know, have us paint the fence in the backyard, we, we spent a good amount of time doing it and doing it right, so we got paid. So, you know, I think you know the values that I had, you know, growing up. We're just, you know, be nice to everybody, you know, don't, you know, don't pick on anybody. Be nice, be respectful, work hard, play hard and you know, life will be good.
Speaker 2:So far it's worked out pretty well, so good. I love, I love that, so it's fun. It's. It's always fun when I ask that question to hear what wreck what people think of or what story you know and like that.
Speaker 1:That's a perfect example where your your pops that that was not easy, that was a hard decision yeah, he told us down the you know, down the road that he didn't want to do it, but obviously he was. He was making a point and it got through.
Speaker 2:So yeah I mean, but like, but so worth it. Like you're, you know you. So remember at this age, like I have, I've shared stories where I've where I wasn't honest about something, I got fired from a job like a pizza joint. My mom now I gotta get fired. My mom like then followed through and then let me go to, like this, my buddy's like 16th birthday party. So it's like, no, I'd I get shakhand. I didn't get to go with this party and I wasn't with my friends and shit, do this, let me sit in it. But like those memories or moments as we think of as parents as we're going along this journey. It's hard, it's super hard, but, like you, it's so worth the go, all the rewards we get as dads and moms if you're listening to, just experience the that. What's on the other side of it when you do it the right way. Yeah so, yeah. So you have just one brother yeah, I got.
Speaker 1:A brother lives in the Spokane area and I have a sister who, who also lives in the Spokane area there, you go, the 509 area, keeping it, keeping it real, even real, exactly.
Speaker 2:Okay, let's, let's go back to 2020 and I'd love for for us to kind of walk. What go through, what you and I, what we all went through, and shit, I wasn't we're alone there. We all went through is the world ending? Oh, my god. And you know for for also, maybe I'll tee up like for for us, our family, we, we were, we tend to be rule followers. You know, as a state of like, what's going on, is it? You know, whatever media watches, like, is that? Are they telling truth? Is this? We didn't know, but like, we were so, like we want to go to travel and we want to go to restaurants and our choices were go get vaccinated. Like, and you're like, I think they're telling truth. I hope you're telling truth. I still think they're wanted, they, we want to do good things. But you know, five days after Kerry got her I'll read it, because I asked her to write something down I said, right, what, what happened? And so five, so prior to that, kerry was for, everybody was home. She was a super active mom she still really is but crossfitter runner, she worked out for six days a week for 10 plus years after, and she's she knows the date. She knows specifically the dates. It's such an impactful day for April 21st 2021.
Speaker 2:Within three days she was in the emergency room crushing, squeezing chest pain, rapid heart rate. Just upon standing it felt like she was gonna pass out. This is where I actually was, in Phoenix for my first work trip, and she called me and she says case, I don't know what's wrong, but I'm squeezing chest pain, I feel like I'm gonna pass out when I stand and I say words are not coming together, I have brain fog, I can't focus, I have severe fatigue, my vision is blurred, shortness of breath. When I got where I was like, well, don't drive, don't do anything, and I'm so. I ended up moving my trip. I came home early.
Speaker 2:Later she would have shortness of breath, her feet would turn red, no idea. Then she almost went into borderline seizures where legs were shaking. We didn't know what the heck that was Sweats, chills, bladder control issues, muscle twitches, deep left arm pain where she had the shot, unexplained weight loss, gi issues, internal vibrations, heart pounds for no reason. She got pain in her calf circulation issues. So for many times Carrie said she's had terrifying nights for several weeks that she would not wake up. When she told me that, that freaked me the F out. I didn't know what the hell. So many people.
Speaker 2:When we went through this and she went through us and I was just trying to be the most supportive possible people said Carrie, you're disanxious, it's in your head, you're okay. I've met your wife, kristen. They're tough, tough women. It takes a lot for I know my wife to ever say she needs help sometimes. Or she's so strong willed, which I love and this is the first time she said she had to surrender to the fact like something is not right.
Speaker 2:For the last two years she's kind of see a specialist running every test possible, thousands of dollars out of pocket. I tell you that's not the ideal time to start your own consulting business. When you realize you learned I learned a lot about healthcare, kip, oh my God. But with anything I mean I'll stop there. I mean there was just a lot more that she went through. But the things I feel about her can't exercise, can't do the things she wants to do, but she's really came to come to peace with where she's at and I'd say she's 70 to 80% back. At times it gets kind of these weird flares. But that's where you come in.
Speaker 1:My man and my mom said I remember she told Kristen's mom yeah, they were golfing together down here in Phoenix and having the conversation about their daughters or daughter-in-law in your case, and my in-laws were golfing and they started talking, I guess, about what happened after the COVID shot and, like Carrie, the symptoms that Kristen had were almost identical to Carrie's. I had my wife send me a text this morning just with the symptoms that she had and she wrote down chest pains, her sternum hurt, her elevated levels for blood clots, her heart troponins were inflated. I felt like something was constantly stuck in her throat. She had difficulty swallowing, she had constant nausea. I mean, that was one thing I remember more than anything is just she couldn't keep anything down or she just always felt like she was going to throw up, no matter what time of day where we were Heart palpitations, difficulty breathing at times left arm pain and numbness in her hand, bright red bridge on her nose, the red and burning toes, anxiety, thinking that she was dying. She told me every day that there was a thought in her mind that this was the last day that she'd be on earth, and she thought that way every day for about a year and a half. So when her parents were golfing with your mom and had this conversation. They exchanged phone numbers for your wife and my wife to get ahold of each other and talk through this, and I think that was a godsend for Kristen, I know for sure, because she could finally talk to somebody about what she was going through.
Speaker 1:I believed everything that she told me, but there were people out there that, I think, really minimized what my wife was going through. They were telling her that, oh, it's just anxiety or it's just this or it's just that. And yeah, there was anxiety, but it was because she thought she was going to die every day To have somebody to talk to. I mean, I'd come home from work and she'd be on the phone with Carrie and I'd ask her who it was and she'd tell me under her breath and how long we've been talking. An hour and a half they'd been on the phone and they'd never met in person. They were just texting each other and calling each other weekly and if not daily sometimes, because they felt like they were the only two people on earth that could relate with each other.
Speaker 1:And I know you experienced that too. But that was as horrible, and I'm sure my wife knows the date too. It was in May, I believe I don't know the exact date but four days before getting her second shot she started having these heart palpitations really bad. Went to the urgent care. They did an EKG and said you're all your wavelengths or whatever are all screwed up. We need to take you by ambulance to the hospital or you can drive yourself. So she elected to call my son and have him come and grab her and take her down to the hospital where she went through a litany of tests and of course came out as they couldn't figure out anything.
Speaker 3:Hi, I'm Leslie Vickery, the CEO and founder of ClearEdge, a company dedicated to transforming the business of talent. Through our three lines of business ClearEdge, marketing, recruiting and rising that help organizations across the recruitment and HR tech sectors grow their brands and market share while building their teams with excellence and equity. I believe we were one of Casey's very first clients. He helped our sales and account teams really those people on the front lines of building and developing client relationships in so many ways. Here are a few. He helped us unlock the power of curiosity. For me it was a game changer. I was personally learning all about Ted based that's, tell, explain, describe, questioning and that really resonated with me. We also learned about unlocking the power of humility and unlocking the power of vulnerability. Casey taught us to be a team player, to embrace change, to stay positive. He is one of the most positive people I know. He believes that optimism, resilience and a sense of humor can go a long way in helping people achieve their goals and overcome obstacles.
Speaker 3:And I agree Casey's book when the Relationship, not the Deal it is a must read. Listen. Whether you're looking for coaching and training or a powerful speaker or keynote, casey is one of the people I recommend, when talking to companies, the end result for us, at least as one of Casey's clients our own clients would literally commend our approach over all other companies, from the way we were prepared in advance of a call, to how we drove meetings, to how we follow up. It sounds really basic, I know, but let me tell you it is a standout approach that led to stronger relationships. I encourage you to learn more by going to kcjcoxcom. You have nothing to lose by having a conversation and a lot to gain. Now let's get back to Casey's podcast, the Quarterback Dadcast.
Speaker 2:It's. You said it well, my man. I think our wives were the lifeline during those toughest days. As a dad hearing my wife say, I hope I wake up scared, the living shit right out of me. I was doing my best to be as strong as I could for my wife, but deep down I was scared. I didn't want to tell her. I was scared.
Speaker 2:But, like again everybody, the reason we're doing this episode is not to pass judgment anybody. It's just to tell a story that is real and really. Hopefully there's someone out there that says holy shit, I went to the same thing, just getting people comfortable saying that COVID was super scary. It still is. I've had it twice and it fricking, had some symptoms and never had in my entire life. But the vaccine it definitely has helped people, I think. But there's stories like our wives who it hurt them. We want to give our wives a voice. Carrie only got one. They wouldn't let her have any more, which was a scary thought too. Why are we pumping? Why are telling everybody to go get 75 more shots then?
Speaker 1:Yeah, in our case all of this happened, like I said, right before the second shot, so we didn't put two and two together at the time. So she got the second shot and that's when really all hell broke loose. We got the shot too. I travel a lot for work and I wanted to be able to travel. We had planned a 25-year anniversary trip to Turks and Caicos which we needed to be vaccinated for so we could get out of the country. But we made it, we tried to go. We made it to Charlotte and my wife got off the plane and we were trying to connect to Turks and Caicos and she said if I get on that plane, I'm going to get off that plane in a body bag there's no way I'm going to survive it.
Speaker 1:So, fortunately, we have very dear friends in Charlotte who let us come and crash at their house for a few days until she felt better, that we could at least fly back to Washington and do some additional tests. So, like I said, yeah, I'm not, I certainly wouldn't have her get the shot again and I, same with myself, my son decided not to get it. After all of this that happened, my daughter did get it because she was an active college student and had to, and didn't have any side effects. And yeah, whether you're believing the shot or don't, that's not the point here. I think the point is that there's there's people out there that have gone through and are going through what you're doing.
Speaker 1:And in my case and in Kristen's case, if she didn't have Carrie, I don't know she might have, just she might have gone insane. Because I couldn't relate to what she was talking to me about. I certainly had sympathy and, like you, I was scared to death and I had visions of what do I do? You know, how do I continue to run the household if she's not here? And because she does everything in the household I mean, we just lost our dog last week and she said I haven't had for the last 24 years. I've always had something that needed me to take care of them.
Speaker 1:I'm like, well, you got me. I'm 50, going on 12. So but you know I, you know she was. She's such a strong individual and you said it earlier, you know she's. She's just like Carrie, and the fact that she's a runner and a athletic and very active and never complains about anything, and here we sit, you know thinking, you know what's going to happen in the next hour. So Carrie was a huge impact on her and I guess that's like I said. That's what I'm trying to get across is, if you're struggling with something, you know, reach out, try to find somebody is going through what you're going through and you know, so you can bounce your frustrations off of that person as well.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, yeah it's. I remember when Carrie and Kristen finally talked that I almost felt like peace, like okay, there's someone that can know that she's going through that. She's not. There's no judgment, there's not, because I didn't even. I mean, this is the first time my entire life I've never even heard of a vaccine injury. I didn't know it was exist. Something happened and there's doctors now told us okay, that's what happened to you and I played golf.
Speaker 2:The guy last week, yeah, he's had six shots, six. And he looked at me like I had a screw loose and I said, I can, I see how you're looking at me. I said, and that's fine, I like, and it was actually a great conversation. I said I'm just, I'm just giving you perspective of this is our reality. I'm not saying it's everybody's reality, but I think it's. We can, we can like. You see it. Like Stephen Covey says, seek to understand before being understood. Yeah, just Be a little curious is what you know things. I love, I love helping people be curious, I love being vulnerable to say we don't know everything, being humble to say, man, maybe, maybe there's a better way, you know. And I think, just as we can have grace for each, everyone in the world and have a little bit of Empathy. And just because you have an experience doesn't mean someone's making it up, you know exactly that was.
Speaker 1:that was the hardest part was that my wife felt like there wasn't a lot of people that were listening to her and taking her seriously, you know, unless you live it. And I certainly was listening to her and taking her seriously, but I didn't Understand what she was going through deep down, you know, especially when every test that we did Came back, you know, negative they I mean we had every heart test done in the world, I mean everything Yep, and they're like your heart's fine, but she felt like it was gonna Explode, explode exactly so the day my dad passed away it was like around we got, we got home.
Speaker 2:It was a snowstorm in a controversial area and we we got home like around four and barely even could like Grief a little bit, like what I mean, because he had a long kind of Health decline, but when he passed away it was like he had. His last six weeks were fantastic and then we passed away. I get home and and Carries, when she was great that day and she got home and all of a sudden boom flare, she's like something's not right, said I'm not losing two people on same day. We're going to ER, took of the ER and she was we're there for probably six hours that night.
Speaker 2:And I remember the first time I finally lost my shit on the doctor and the bedside manner was atrocious and the doctor goes. He just he would just looked like. He just was like off-putting and Quick with his answers and I said I said listen, dude, do you think I want to effing be here? I said I'm sorry to get maddie, but like we're not making this stuff up. I know you say that there's nothing wrong, but do you think I want to be here right now like some right, he's like I'm. He goes. I'm sorry he goes, what I'm? I go. You seem frustrated, he goes. I'm really frustrated Because I have seven people in this ER with the exact same symptoms as you and I have no idea how to help them and it's really frustrating and it's almost like, ah, okay, thank you, like just say that, but you know, and like it was almost like like a little bit of healing for she and I, like okay, something's not right.
Speaker 2:I think in 20 years, maybe we'll learn more about what the hell has happened and Maybe, as they do these vaccines, something's changed since they went to now. Maybe there's more I don't more testing, more. I don't know what's going on, but like Maybe I don't know, but I think it was for me, us, it was like that was a day I remember clearly it was the doctors, because they were. They didn't want to say this wasn't safe. They didn't want to say something's not right or say that there's anything possibly could go wrong, because then that's gonna be an immediate nightmare.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we went through something very similar. We had a. We were at the hospital and we had one heart doctor come in and say Kind of like that you know bedside manner was. You know there's nothing wrong. You know I Didn't lose my shit on him like you did, but it was very you know he wasn't buying it and then he must have gone off shift because we were there forever. And and the next guy came and said, yeah, I, totally, I, I get it. I've got patients with the same thing. And so, man, it goes back to what you said earlier. For me it's you know, you might not be experiencing what somebody else has or is going through, but have some empathy. That you know that's. That's what the world needs more of percent.
Speaker 2:Tell me the Hardest part for you just supporting Kristen and then being the best daddy could be to the kids. Yeah, I mean.
Speaker 1:You know it was scary. I mean it was scary For all of us and just you know me being there, the hardest part it wasn't supporting my wife at all. I mean that that was the easiest part, but the hardest part was just explaining to people you know, hey, we can't. You know we can't go out and do this or we. You know we can't do that Because you know we just she feels too horrible to go. So and she was always apologizing to me. You know we had plans to go kayaking one day and you know we couldn't go because she just felt nauseous and our kids were back at school. Actually they were both going to Washington State at the same time, so it was a little bit easier from the fact that they weren't there every day.
Speaker 1:You know it was a phone call at night and you know she put on a good face and just say you know things are okay and you know I'm feeling okay. Even when she wasn't, she didn't want to worry them and they had other you know things that they were dealing with with college life. So it wasn't any real hard conversations with the kids. It was me internalizing everything for myself. The only person I would really talk to about this was to her. I didn't even talk a whole lot about it with friends or I mean family, for sure knew what was going on. I don't think people really understood the day-to-day struggles of just trying to be supportive and being frustrated and not having an answer. You know we're problem solvers and we want to take care of the family and make it right and take the pain away, and it was a very hopeless feeling.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that was the challenge for me and he kind of nailed it. Man, carrie was, she felt so bad, like I'm sorry, I feel something. Stop saying you're sorry, like this is like I want. Like he says it's not really too.
Speaker 2:It made me worried. It's because I've had four, five friends lose wives under the age of 45. Wow, and so then I thought I'm not like a hardcore religious guy but I'm more very spiritual and I think, like I look for meeting and people I meet and things have happened for a reason. I've been trying to like that learning minds, growth mindset, and I was like I wonder if God's like prep me. So five people passed away, I've had to see the guys go through it. I've actually connected some of these dads who, like lost wives, they became friends. Like one dad said Casey, if you didn't connect me I would have, I think I'd be here, thank you, I'm like. So it's like really grounding, humbling things to hear. Then I'm like then that was my biggest worry. I'd go to bed thinking shit, when's it going to happen? And I was like I don't, you know. And then that just like constant was on my mind and thankfully that that went away.
Speaker 2:But you know, our kids were younger, so it's seeing, they saw a lot of it and you know we did our best to keep them. I don't think they fully knew. I mean they definitely knew mom was not healthy and had challenges. But you know, I use it as a way like, hey, what a great opportunity kids working up, step up, because mom is, you know, these Magically. Dishes would get unloaded magically, laundry would get done magically. Dinner was always ready. Like it's our turn now to step up. Now we're gonna, I'm gonna, we're gonna make mom do nothing and we're gonna do a lot more. So I hope that you can take on that team mindset with us and so that and they kids for fantastic and so, like I mean, that's another blessing. Or kids grew up a lot faster, they became more self sufficient in the house. Now I would hate to see it because of that, what Carrie went through.
Speaker 1:But yeah, silver lining, I guess right.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I mean, I was trying to find something you know and I think, like, how you and I met, I think is a silver lining. So I love the story. I think people at home might find it amusing. So we, we finally convinced the wives like why are? Why have you guys not met? Like you've texted, you've taught, you've taught me each other, like let's, we live like 30 minutes, so let's see how you help we live 30 minutes, or each other, let's get together. And it was, if my memory is correct, it was Mariners playoffs, yeah, and you had tickets.
Speaker 1:I, I, I. Right before we went to meet you guys, my good friend called and said hey, I've got an extra ticket to the Mariners game, which they ended up winning that night and going to the playoffs for the first time in 20 some years, and I gave up the ticket to meet some dude that I've never met before that. I thought this is going to be the most awkward dinner of my life.
Speaker 2:And your buddy is like, wait what? No, I got a ticket to the Mariners game. No, I know about seeing my wife. She, she's like I'm sick. And then she met this other guy and then there's this dude in the valley. But it should be a great time. Let's give. Let's give it a go.
Speaker 1:And and we hit it off. Man, I mean that's, that's, that's the cool part for you know, for me, I mean a really cool part was one your wife is awesome and and certainly you know, love her and and, but you know we ended up, you know there was never a break in conversation, a dinner, and then we ended up back at your house when, when we hit the walkoff home run, I believe to, to win the game, we were back at your place, you know, just two and a half, three hours after we met watching the Mariners and you know it was, it ended up being, you know, an awesome night it was, and just that we're not swingers, so it didn't didn't keep people.
Speaker 2:It didn't go that far. Everybody does at home. We're scoring at home, right, but yeah, kristen's fantastic, I mean, and you guys are people. I feel like I've met my whole life, I've known my whole life and I think, because we showed up with empathy for each other, we showed up curious for each other, we had something in common, unfortunately the worst thing possible to have in common. But there has been some blessings. You know, obviously you've got to be our kids, I, you know, I I didn't meet Kyle but talked to him or be Linton, linkedin stuff with him, and it's been. That's been the blessing of this whole thing.
Speaker 2:And again, the point of this conversation is that everybody did just to share a story of kind of what Kip and I have gone through and we still continue to go through. And if you're struggling, if you've, if you're, if you have a wife or spouse or a friend that's gone through, just let them know that they're not alone. There are a lot of support groups out there. I'll make sure I tag some of these. I'll talk to Carrie or maybe Kristen if she knows some of these. We can tag some of these in the show notes just to help people figure out where to go If there's again and these aren't groups, everybody just make sure I'm clear, these aren't groups.
Speaker 2:It's like let's be internet bashing in chat room people. This is like, hey, I signed up for this, but something might my life now and no one's listening to me. I need help, and so it's this. It's opened my eyes to a lot about what goes on if we don't, because if you don't, if you don't hear about it, you don't read about it, it doesn't exist. Yeah, as you think through, actually, how did? What was the hardest part for you as a dad with your friends?
Speaker 1:You know, again, I think it was just people not. I mean, they were all supportive, We've got great friends, so it's not that people were like, oh, you're making it up, but it was just, it was everything we did. I mean, we took a vacation down here actually in Scottsdale with some close friends of ours and you know we had to sit in our room for, you know, for a while because you know she just couldn't get the energy to get up and walk down to the pool. I mean, here's somebody that runs, you know, five, six, seven miles a day and you know goes up a flight of stairs and is winded and you know, can't make it to the pool and so, and then going out to dinner, you know, do a nice steakhouse down here, and you know she couldn't eat anything.
Speaker 1:And it was just, you know, things like that that happened a hundred times, where we're constantly having to explain and justify and what was going on. And then for me it was, you know, I couldn't really describe what was going on because I wasn't feeling it, so and she didn't have the energy and at times I mean she kind of unless she was talking to Carrie, I think for the most part she just, she just minimized, tried to minimize it as much as possible so people wouldn't think that she was making it up or over exaggerating her symptoms. And so I know she felt, you know again, we've got great friends, great family, but I know she felt the most comfortable when she was talking about somebody that could understand. And so for me I just, you know, I understood, but I didn't understand and that was the hardest part and I was thinking I was obviously going to have to tread along life, you know, by myself. And that's a scary thought because you know she still makes my lunch every day when I go to work?
Speaker 2:Yeah, do you have her cut the crust off the PB and J?
Speaker 1:No, no, not, not no, I overcame that a few years ago. But you know, I certainly would not be matching clothes if she didn't pick out my outfits every day. I mean, I'm a permanent death. So no, we're. She's great, and I'm obviously kidding with the. I mean, she does make my lunch and dress me every day, but there's so much more to it, obviously, than that. She reminds you to run to her Sometimes. Yeah, that's good, yeah.
Speaker 2:I that that resonated a lot with me and I think we have fantastic friends and but I think it was such a weird time of life that I think you know I mean this like I think even some of our friends it's they were like what, what are we going to do? We can't help. And I think Carrie I remember at times she just didn't want to talk about it anymore. I feel for you I know you don't want to talk about that. I don't want you to be like you can't talk about it, like if you're having a bad day, keeping it inside and creating anxiety for yourself is unhealthy. And so you got honey, you got to talk about it. We're going to talk about it and you know, I think I mean our friends it is best they could, because, but again, if you haven't experienced it, it's like what, what is she doing? And probably almost got.
Speaker 2:I would imagine it was me exhausting for them hearing about it as like, oh shit, I don't want to get that. You know. But again, god's he said earlier I think it's a great way to say it. He said God said that we got, we met through. The universe brought us together, or God mass brought us together because I Remember, just like Carrie, she was like it was almost that was her healing when she met Kristen. Yeah, you know, it's weird, I don't know weird or bizarre, a little bit eerie when she has a flare for whatever reason. We don't know what causes them, still, but like she'll show tax Chris and hey, yeah, I'm flaring. She's like, yep, just how. We're like what the hell? Yeah, we don't, we don't see you anymore. But yet there on, their symptoms are so similar.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that and that was the. That was the weird thing is, when I would talk to Kristen after she got off the phone with Carrie, it was like she is, we are literally Identical and when you look at them they're similar body types. I mean, they're both athletic, they're both runners, they're both, you know, talking to them, they're both strong women, you know they. We need them more than they need us, you know, and and I'm like she was like every symptom, I have Carrie hats, and so it was such a yeah, like I said earlier, you know, it was a godsend that they could, that they could talk, and, and the silver lining, you know, for me Was, you know, I got a golf lesson from you at your house, and that's even though I lost, I think, 40 bucks at your house.
Speaker 2:The record.
Speaker 1:My you.
Speaker 2:My chipping game has come a long way since I lost money at your house, so Well, you know and I think this is kind of sarcastic tongue-in-cheek, but I think as much as your, your wife probably thought, jesus, what if I married this guy's? A tool like he's. He just is so mature. Carrie's probably thought that for years to and like what I meant. Maybe they're not as immature as I think you know, they're just fun-loving guys, like to have fun. So at least the fact that we met it's almost like step brothers. We convinced our wives that like hey, we do. Maybe we have a screw loose at times, but we've done okay, helping out the family too.
Speaker 1:We're driving down the road after we met you guys that first night and of course, I'd had one or two Too many beers, so he was driving like she. She normally does when we leave a restaurant or someone's house and I was just giggling and she's like what are you laughing at? I'm like you know this case? He's just sending me these things, which are exactly what me and my high school buddies still talk about this day, you know caddy shack quotes and it was just, it was funny.
Speaker 1:So, yeah, certainly I think we've only been around each other three times, two or three times, but feel like I've known you my whole life. So that's definitely, you know, a positive to all of this hundred percent, ma'am.
Speaker 2:Okay, as we get ready to wrap up today, talk about, like, if dads can take what we've talked about To what and whatever, whether it's this a different illness, like I just recently interviewed somebody a guy used to work with his wife has epilepsy. Like that is a struggle. Like and we talked about things that he went through and shout out Nick Brown and Nick's episode will be out for yours Like, how would you, how would you best summarize what dads or people can take from our conversation today to kind of become maybe a better friend, better husband, better leader? Tell me two or three things that come to mind.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I would just say, put your ego aside, maybe put your pride aside. I mean, we I think you know we we look at ourselves as dads and husbands, as fixers and strong, and and you know we need to have support too. Like I say, you know, I Didn't have anybody to talk to that understood what I was going through until I met you and I would say, you know, put your your macho side and Reach out to people and you know, don't be afraid to. You know to be vulnerable and and to ask for help and and you know when you need it, because you know we all need help. And one thing that I've always been fairly good at and I think is is, you know, being vulnerable and and asking for help if I need to. But it's it's hard. It's hard to do is when you're the quote unquote you know, head of the household, I guess you'd say I mean in our situation, as far as you know, you know the providers. But yeah, I would just stick with that.
Speaker 2:Gold, that that hits on so many themes that we've had other dads around checking your ego. Empathy, vulnerability, like asking for help, is the sometimes the biggest gift you can. You can teach your kids, I think, because our kids see that we don't have to be perfect and Like even the things I suck at, like I'm, I joke before we'll say again Like if you, if you Google like world's worst handyman and then click images like my picture might come up. It's the point. Like when we got married carries. Like what is wrong with you.
Speaker 2:Like I listen a your dad's like MacGyver, be like I'm a great secondhand person. Like if someone's the one that can design it and think it and just you tell me what to do. Like bang a nail, go pick up I, I'm your guy, but if I have to see it and understand it not my skill set, my brain is not where I that way, and so you know it's like I'm sharing my kids. I don't care if they give me a hard time. That's like it's. It's teaching to be able to take a joke. You know, given you're gonna give it out, be able to be ready to take it too. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, it's interesting, I just thought of this. You're one of the guys that I talked to works, works for my company, he's, he's, he's a friend of mine and I was talking to him one day about Kristen and her symptoms and he said, dude, I had no idea that you guys were going through this. I knew that she was not feeling well for a while, but I didn't understand what it was. And I feel bad that I I didn't know and I didn't reach out more. And and now this same individual has been diagnosed with cancer and and you know, I think he'll, he'll, he'll, get through it. But I've talked to him a couple of times, you know, just kind of being that support or trying to be I don't know if I, if I am or not, but I'm trying to be that support system for him.
Speaker 1:And you know he might not have Reached out a Couple of years ago, but you know he he might have, you know, learned something too just about here and here in my story.
Speaker 2:So yeah, I mean, I think that's, that's the power of community, the power relationships, the power of we all need help eventually and so, like, lean in on people and I think, like, if, if I mean like I mean I know that every time I talked to you is like oh okay, here's someone I know that's gone through it and so I hope everybody at home we were listening You're still with us, you're still open-minded to what this, what we've talked about today.
Speaker 2:Stay curious, obviously, stay healthy, you know. But I just hope that people Can take what we've talked today to realize that this is just our journey and we hope that there's people out there that if you got, if you're going through something similar, like you're not alone and people are out there to help, and hopefully people take that step to, like you said, kip, check you going and take that next step. Okay, real quick, I want to. I didn't talk about this before, but I'd love to give some love to what you're doing professionally. And if people want to connect with you, they want to learn more about you and If you want to talk a little bit about the fantastic things that you and your team at Bankers life do.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I've been with Bankers life for 26 years now. I started as an agent and I've worked my way up to upper-level management and you know it's a great company. We specialize in life insurance, long-term care, medicare supplements, paneuities, and then we have a financial side as well as far as stocks and bonds and mutual funds and things like that. So you know, bankers is an old line insurance company. We've been around for a long time and our goal is to is to help people is to help people With their financial realities of retirement and a lot of times people spend their lifetime Building their assets and then they retire and they don't know how to protect those assets.
Speaker 1:And it happened to my grandparents. They they ended up in nursing homes and and didn't have any plan in place and lost everything that they ever had. So that's the reason I got into the business was to help educate people. And you know it's a real great, solid company with real great people that are looking to help you out. If you have a need for any of those products, so reach out.
Speaker 2:If you need anything, we will make sure that's tagged in the show. And I also remember when you first went down you were building a team. So if there's maybe a younger person listening to it or maybe there's a dad listening to it, I've actually been thinking about making a career change. Are those opportunities still exist?
Speaker 1:Yeah, we're all over the United States, we're in every state and I'm down here in Phoenix now. So moved down here middle of March and experienced the hottest summer and known to man. But I'm hiring and we've got three offices in the Phoenix area. So if you're looking, I'd be happy to help you find a job.
Speaker 2:Well, if you're looking for a job, this is the type of leader you want to work for everybody. And I'm going to make Kip blush now because he is as real as he was today. That's who he is. Every time I've talked to him, that's how he shows up, and I know that this is an audio podcast only, not a video, but just to back up how hot I mean he is in a little half shirt, tank top right now and just trying to stay cool in the environment down there. So I don't know if that's the normal work at the guys go for it, but yeah, it is.
Speaker 1:You know I see the upper half.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's a. We just went triple X on this podcast. Fantastic Right, okay, if so, but besides LinkedIn, is there any other social platforms you're on that people can they want to reach out to?
Speaker 1:and LinkedIn is the big one for sure, so we got a Facebook page. We have a bankers like Facebook page If you type in Scottsdale or Phoenix, you'll. You'll find us down here, and then I'm on LinkedIn as well. So perfect. I just interviewed a guy a couple about an hour before I talked to you whom I connected with on LinkedIn. So there we go.
Speaker 2:There we go. All right, now it's time to go on to as serious as this conversation with some giggles. Now it's going to be just, hopefully, pure giggles. This is called the lightning round, kip, where I ask you just random questions to show you the negative hits of playing quarterback in college, taking too many hits not bong hits, but football hits. Okay, prove, I have a screw loose. Your job is to answer them as quickly as you can without laughing. Okay, are you ready? I'm ready. Okay, true or false? You recently won the Boston marathon. False, false, really that. That, that for sure. That would have been true or false. Your handicap now is a one False. Okay, tell me the last book you read.
Speaker 1:I would say it's sitting right in front of me. It's called when the relationship, not the deal.
Speaker 2:That did not mean to do that.
Speaker 1:Everybody that does not, it's literally sitting right in front of me.
Speaker 2:That's great author. By the way, I did not pay him to say that and that that giggled. It does not count. If I was to come to your house for dinner tonight, what would we have?
Speaker 1:I think tonight we're probably going with a barbecued steaks on the grill, the one with blackstone.
Speaker 2:Oh, I love blackstone. If I was to go into your phone right now, what would be the one song that everybody at Bankers Life would like? What you listen to?
Speaker 1:that the one song oh my gosh, I'd say Troubadour.
Speaker 2:Intense.
Speaker 1:Yeah, troubadour.
Speaker 2:Okay, favorite 80s comedy movie is oh, that would have to be Catty Shack. I think that's the 80s, isn't it?
Speaker 1:I think it's the late 70s, but I think it should go into the 80s.
Speaker 2:We'll count that as a correct answer. If you were to go on a vacation right now, you and Chrison, just you two, where are we going?
Speaker 1:Probably back to Bermuda.
Speaker 2:Bahama. Come on, pretty mama.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, been there.
Speaker 2:Been both. I just quoted Beach Boys, that everybody known it. I knew. Okay, good, if there was to be a book written about your life, tell me the title.
Speaker 1:Work hard and don't take life too seriously.
Speaker 2:Okay, love that. Now, believe it or not, this book about your life is absolutely crushing it. It's in every airport, it's on every newsstand Barnes, noble, amazon and it's fricking selling out of copies. So now Hollywood has found out about this and they want to make a movie. You're now the casting director and I need to know who's going to star you. And it's critically acclaimed, new hit movie.
Speaker 1:Probably Napoleon Dynamite.
Speaker 2:I think I'm going to say Richard Pryor, yeah, or him, okay. And then last question Tell me two words that describe Chrison.
Speaker 1:Beautiful and smart.
Speaker 2:Here we go, lighting rounds complete. We both giggled. We both were completely random. Brother, I've been a massive blessing for me, for you, I hope, for people at home and I'm grateful for you spending time with us today and I can't wait to see you in a month when we're down in the lovely state of Arizona chairing on a daughter and a basketball tournament. I want to thank our sponsors for your continued support. I want to thank all the dads out there who continue to listen weekly. If this episode has made you stop and think or inspired you, please share it with another dad. Please share it on our social channels. The goal of this is to help dads improve their leadership skills, to help become better leaders at home, create more the EQ side of fatherhood and really to help just create better humans, and so, hopefully, that you guys have learned a few things from a couple of wacky guys on this episode today. But, man, it's been such a great time talking to you and I'm really grateful that you were able to spend time with me today, buddy.
Speaker 1:I appreciate you, Casey. It's been fun. It's been fun. I appreciate it. Good luck.
