In today's heartfelt episode, we discuss the intimate moments and the lessons for dads to connect with their daughters through the insightful author of "Girl Dad." Today marks the VERY first time a woman has joined the Quarterback Dadcast, and I couldn't be more excited to have Madeline Anderson join us! Thanks to the heartfelt introduction by her fiance, Max Gallagher, I must thank you, Max, for making today happen.
Together, we navigate the highs and lows of parenting, sharing stories that celebrate the unique bond between fathers and daughters. From the patience learned on the golf course to creating family traditions, we uncover strategies to inspire and empower our daughters, ensuring they have the confidence to aim high.
Madeline's warmth and wisdom illuminate the conversation as we examine the concept of drive and how it shapes our relationships and personal goals. She shares the serendipitous inspiration behind her book and offers fathers indispensable advice on being present and intentional with their daughters. We also delve into the emotional fabric of our families, discussing how understanding our children's love languages can deepen our connections and how thoughtfulness in the smallest actions can leave an indelible mark on their hearts. The stories we share are a testament to the lasting impact of our presence in our children's lives.
We conclude with a candid reflection on patience, presence, and the pursuit of being the best versions of ourselves for our children. The episode is peppered with laughter and personal stories, capturing the joy and humor in parenting. Madeline and I invite you to join us for this fun-loving conversation as we aim to inspire every dad to cherish and strengthen the bond with their daughters. Embark on this transformative journey with us, and let's navigate the rewarding path of fatherhood together.
Please don't forget to leave us a review wherever you consume your podcasts! Please help us get more dads to listen weekly and become the ultimate leader of their homes!
In today's heartfelt episode, we discuss the intimate moments and the lessons for dads to connect with their daughters through the insightful author of "Girl Dad." Today marks the VERY first time a woman has joined the Quarterback Dadcast, and I couldn't be more excited to have Madeline Anderson join us! Thanks to the heartfelt introduction by her fiance, Max Gallagher, I must thank you, Max, for making today happen.
Together, we navigate the highs and lows of parenting, sharing stories that celebrate the unique bond between fathers and daughters. From the patience learned on the golf course to creating family traditions, we uncover strategies to inspire and empower our daughters, ensuring they have the confidence to aim high.
Madeline's warmth and wisdom illuminate the conversation as we examine the concept of drive and how it shapes our relationships and personal goals. She shares the serendipitous inspiration behind her book and offers fathers indispensable advice on being present and intentional with their daughters. We also delve into the emotional fabric of our families, discussing how understanding our children's love languages can deepen our connections and how thoughtfulness in the smallest actions can leave an indelible mark on their hearts. The stories we share are a testament to the lasting impact of our presence in our children's lives.
We conclude with a candid reflection on patience, presence, and the pursuit of being the best versions of ourselves for our children. The episode is peppered with laughter and personal stories, capturing the joy and humor in parenting. Madeline and I invite you to join us for this fun-loving conversation as we aim to inspire every dad to cherish and strengthen the bond with their daughters. Embark on this transformative journey with us, and let's navigate the rewarding path of fatherhood together.
Please don't forget to leave us a review wherever you consume your podcasts! Please help us get more dads to listen weekly and become the ultimate leader of their homes!
Hi, I'm Riley and I'm Ryder and this is my dad's show. Hey everybody, it's Casey Jacobs with the quarterback dad cast, and welcome to season 5. And before we get to today's episode and a quick message, I wanted to say thank you so much to Assam and team up at Latitude Sitka or Latitude 57. You guys have been just a fantastic partner. I want to say thank you so much for your sponsorship, your support and ways to spread the message to other dads out there how we're trying to improve the leadership skills in the homes of many families across the world. With that said, I want to let you know there's going to be some new sponsors being added to the podcast, and I also wanted to highlight what's going to happen in the month of February, which is the first ever women to join the quarterback dad cast. Everybody yes, you heard that right. You're going to have the very first women ever to join me on my show for the next four weeks. You're going to hear from some fantastic women supporting dads and you're going to learn about some perspective, but, more importantly, you're going to be educated, and I want to say I'm so excited for these women who are going to be coming on. So with that, let's get right to today's episode. Hi everybody, it's Casey Jacobs.
Speaker 2:With the quarterback dad cast and those that followed this podcast, I sent out a little newsletter last year and I said, hey, I'm thinking about shaking it up a little bit, I'm thinking about having our first woman on the podcast and no one freaked out. And I'm all about diversity, everybody, I'm all about pro girl stuff because I'm a girl dad and. But this next individual is our first female on the quarterback dad cast and I could not be more excited. And she comes to us from a former client of mine, the one and only Max. He'll keep his last name and Cognito, but he works at a fantastic wealth management firm called Brighton Jones.
Speaker 2:But our next guest is Madeline Anderson and she is the author of the book Girl Dads Stories and Lessons and Advice from Girl Dads and their Daughters. And when she first approached me on being a guest, I said you know what, madeline? I love what you're doing, but this is only for dads and we're only going to interview dads. And then she said, no, I get it, but. And then my mind started to change and then I had more women start talking to me about this and I reset my mindset and I said you know what, everybody she's serving dads, which is you and me. And after reading your book and thinking through it more intently, I could not be more excited and honored to welcome our next guest, our first female ever, to the quarterback dad cast. The author, the famous UCLA Bruin, madeline Anderson. Welcome to the quarterback dad cast.
Speaker 1:Thank you so much for having me, casey. I'm very excited to be here.
Speaker 2:Are you blushing yet?
Speaker 1:I am.
Speaker 2:Well, I'm grateful. I'm grateful you, I'm grateful for Max for reaching out. I'm grateful for one my mindset changed and I'm grateful that there's going to be dads and I know there's maybe some boy dads out there. We're going to find, to help you guys out, which we have a woman later coming on but this is going to be the an opportunity for you dads to learn more from girl a girl, of what a dad impacted her, why she wrote the book. But before we get into all that stuff, we always start every episode Madeline with gratitude. So tell me, what are you most grateful for as a daughter of a dad today?
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, that it should be so easy. But it's hard because there are so many things that I'm grateful for. I think, if I had to narrow it down, I'm grateful for life. I always just think about how we are humans on planet earth, just spinning in the middle of the universe, and it's just wild. But I'm grateful for being alive and obviously I can thank my dad for that and my mom, but I just they made you yeah, they did, and I'm just grateful to be here.
Speaker 2:Some people can say that's kind of an easy answer, but it's true when you slow down to really focus on the things Madeline just talked about. I love that answer because every morning when I do my gratitude journal I say God, thanks for waking me up today, and it's amazing that line, how it just gets my mind like in a spot of I'm lucky, I gotta do some. I have a chance to do something, hopefully cool today, hopefully impact the life, impact your relationship, be a better dad today, do something positive, whatever it may be. So I love that answer. I'm grateful, madeline, for I know I talked about this before. I said again, we're recording at the end of January. This episode is going to come out in February, very, very soon.
Speaker 2:But I'm grateful for an ice storm that hit our house recently and we live on the bottom of 800 foot hill and my daughter had a basketball game a high school basketball game last night and there was no, not a chance in hell. We were in build drive up and so I was like, well, we have two ways looked about this. We either can be really angry and frustrated about this rally or we can say now, what an opportunity and think about the story. You can tell your kids and your friends that you had to walk up a hill frozen in the mud, with boots on, with your basketball stuff in your backpack, and you made it and you're that much better for it. And so we we both changed our mindsets and we laughed on the way up and didn't take any breaks and I was grateful for that that moment with my daughter, because it's and this weekend I get a girl dad weekend too, because my wife and my wife and son are out of town, so she's gonna meet me in her love that.
Speaker 1:Do you have any plans?
Speaker 2:well, I'm gonna leave it up to her. So I've already had the opportunity to go play golf with my buddies and I said I wish I could. But I told my daughter we're gonna do something fun. So I just took a fantastic 37 minute naps. I told you she is sleeping after basketball practice in a long week of hoop and I said, when you wake up let's go to dinner wherever you want to go, and then tomorrow we're gonna hopefully do something fun and maybe get her friends to come over for sleepover and just I don't know, just do whatever she wants to do, because time is not slowing down, sister.
Speaker 1:Right, I love that. Sounds like you have a fun weekend ahead of you.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's gonna be good. Okay, so why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself? What are you doing now, before we get too much into the book, but just talk about, like current state of Madeleine, where you live. What are you up to? What's life like?
Speaker 1:Sure, I'm currently in Hermosa Beach, california, loving it. Go for my daily walks on the strand and just again taken life in the ocean just thankful to be here. And I'm currently focusing on Girl Dad. I'm building Girl Dad Network, which is gonna be a community for dads to communicate with one another, and I'm gonna have a lot of resources for their daughters and courses and so many exciting things coming up there. So that's my main focus right now.
Speaker 1:Inside, I'm actually working for my dad. Funny enough, he's always wanted me to do that but it finally came to fruition about. Well, I mean, I've always been working for him in a limited capacity since I was in high school, but just recently I've gotten more responsibility about a year ago and it's been really, really fun working with him, just more debond over, and he's an engineer, so I'm doing engineer adjacent tasks that are not the actual engineering. Obviously, you have to be licensed to do that and you don't want me to be designing any bridges or anything without a license. But I'm doing some marketing, data analytics, just general business, and, yeah, it's been really, really fun.
Speaker 2:Very cool. What an honor for your pops to have young Madeline right by his side. Still, sharpen this. Sharpen this, the tools as you get ready to do whatever you do next. I would love to go back when you were a young daughter growing up and just talk about what was life like growing up for you and talk about just the impact your dad and mom both had on you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, absolutely. I grew up in Haines and Beach. I have two younger sisters. I'm very close to both of them in age and just in you know, general relationship and life was always really fun, really family oriented, really sports oriented. I started playing golf when I was four. My dad started teaching me when I was four soccer when I was five, skiing also, I think, when I was four. So it's always been just kind of part of our lives and really really fun. And, yeah, my parents are both just so supportive, such great role models, so kind, honest, loving, just amazing people, fun to be around. Everyone always says like you're the best dad or you have the best mom. So I just and I do, I really am so lucky and how would you describe that?
Speaker 2:so why would they say that? What makes them the best?
Speaker 1:I think they make you feel important and they make everyone feel important. My mom is a third grade teacher. She's got so much patience and she just looks people in the eyes and just makes them happy. She's kind of goofy sometimes. And my dad, same thing. He just like he's an entertainer, like he just you know when he loves to host and loves to talk and loves to bring people together and enjoy life or he enjoys life and makes other people enjoy my life. So yeah, it was. It was a great childhood. I wouldn't change a thing about it.
Speaker 2:So I'm already curious, so I'm gonna stereotype your dad. I heard engineer. I heard like nerd I heard. I heard book smart, I heard. And now I'm here in life the party. I'm confused, yeah what is? Going on.
Speaker 1:He was an art and engineering double major in college and I feel like that's the best way to describe him, because he really is left brain, right brain, and I think he's just a very unique individual in that sense.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that is uncommon to be cracking jokes in the engineering room. Right, hopefully his more whatever brain is the smart brain like when he's building those bridges he uses that side.
Speaker 1:Yeah, definitely.
Speaker 2:Because if I was building bridges, that would go down in a windstorm in a hurry. I joke that if you like Google least handiest person in the United States and then click images, you might see my face.
Speaker 1:That's so funny.
Speaker 2:Okay, so golf, soccer, skiing we're talking snow skiing, yes, okay, do you still play those sports today?
Speaker 1:Not soccer, that unfortunately I do not play anymore. But I do golf as much as I can and I ski as much as I can as well.
Speaker 2:Very cool, you got a handicap.
Speaker 1:Honestly, I haven't been like officially recording my scores since high school, but I'm a bogey golfer.
Speaker 2:Nice.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I would take you're going to be a first round draft pick in any corporate scramble, because not a lot of women play golf. So when you find one that does play and is good, like we won on our team.
Speaker 1:I'd be honest, it's always scramble are so fun.
Speaker 2:They are and it's like I think that goes to mindset because, like people who are hardcore into golf like sometimes scramble aren't the most fun, because it's like, oh, this isn't golf. But then like if you go into it with a great time, you're going to meet great people and you know it's usually you're doing it for a good cause and charity. So it's like usually it's a lot of fun.
Speaker 1:Yeah, my dad and I, and then his best friend from college and his son, we used to do this yearly scramble. It's gotten hard now that we're all like adults and the son lives in DC, but we did this yearly scramble and there would be points for different activities throughout the round. So if you got a birdie it was double points and I guess I should back up. Every hole is worth one dot. If you won the hole but it was also a birdie, then it's two dots.
Speaker 2:I love that you're talking golf language. It's just fantastic. It's going, it's going.
Speaker 1:And then if you get a, if you get a putt that's longer than the pin, that's called a polly and that's also a dot. And then if you get, if you hit it in the sand and you still make par, then you also get a dot. That's a sandy. So yeah, If you hit, like you know, a sandy polly birdie, then all of a sudden you've got like six dots right, so there we go yeah.
Speaker 1:It's super, super fun and it can change like this and we would like switch partners throughout the time, and so it would be like you know six, six, six, yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1:So, um, just so much fun, I think I, I mean, I have so many memories with my dad just on the golf course and, you know, golfing throughout life and we still do that today and I think it's something really special that, um, you know, for all the dads out there who golf and have a daughter who's young, I would encourage or I mean any age, but I would encourage you to include her and um, teacher of the game of golf and get her interested in it.
Speaker 1:I know when I was a kid it was all about like the milkshakes and the bunnies of the golf course, but it would lure me to the course and then all of a sudden I'm there and I'm, you know, he's letting me hit some balls and it piqued my curiosity. But I'm so, so grateful for being able to play golf in high school because it was basically, like you know, this relatively free coaching, one-on-one every day, getting good, and if I tried to do that as an adult now, I mean that would cost thousands and thousands of dollars. So I'm just really, really grateful for that and I feel like it's a great opportunity to connect with your daughter and, you know, teach her something kind of fun and unique and something that she could be really passionate about.
Speaker 2:Love it. Now. Were these dots worth money? By chance, A little gambling on the golf course.
Speaker 1:There was a little gambling on the golf course.
Speaker 2:yes, Not a girl, not a girl. I like to hear that. I play with some people who are, so I'm a. I'm a, like a, between a one and a two. Oh wow, my son's between a one and two, and he's actually going to play golf next fall at a school called Southern Oregon University.
Speaker 1:Congratulations.
Speaker 2:Go Ryder, I'm super proud of him. But I have some buddies who are like way better than me, so it's like I could shoot 75 decent round and they're shooting like 68, 69. And I'm like I'm getting smoked by six. So it's fun. I like just like anything in life. I like doing things with people who are better than me or because then it stretches you and make sure you realize what's possible. Hence the word.
Speaker 2:I know people can't see it because it's an audio only podcast, but there's a belief sign behind me. That's one thing I always teach my daughter is and that I always tell my son I'm my daughter, like I wish. When I was younger, no, against nothing, against my mom or my dad, but I just I've learned this about. And when I got a little older in life actually I learned that at age 41, the question is do you believe in what you do matters? And it's such a simple but powerful question that really fires up my mindset and it just gives me when I say, yeah, I believe what I do matters Like. And then I'll ask myself again do you? Yeah, I do. And then it gives me confidence to do anything. And so I always tell Riley, my daughter, I'm like, right, I go, do you believe you could be the best defender in this in the state of Washington? And I go, someone's gonna do it, why not you? Right, and usually when you, when you have big goals, the first thing people do is shut them down, like you can't do that. And I joked, I've taught my kids these five new swear words that actually teach my clients to. These are like really bad Malin, so like these are an MF bomb, a D bomb, an S bomb. These swear words are need to, should, to, want to, have to and can't, because those words create anxiety, those words create zero plan and instead we're going to say I will, I will become the best defendant in the state of Washington, I will be the first female president of the United States. I will get straight A's why not? At least like half of it's, like I'm more than half of it's just mental, just getting your mind right, go compete and believe in something. So that's one thing I've enjoyed as a dad, like helping my kids just dream big, think big, and I tell a story of failure.
Speaker 2:Were seventh grade, so this is the first time I got cut in the sport seventh grade baseball and there was only an eighth grade team and a ninth grade team, and so that the eighth grade team was a mix of seventh and eighth graders and the first day of tryouts I made the first cut. So there's six seventh graders about to and, but they're only going to take, they're only going to cut, they're going to cut one. So five of them make it. And so my first thought was I went around my buddies, the other seventh graders, I said hey, do you think you're going to make it? And they're like yeah, of course I would make it. And I was like God, do I? Am I going to make it? Didn't believe in myself, for whatever reason. Guess who got cut? Yours truly. I remember going. This was back in the old school days where, like, you'd go in the, in the locker room and your name would be on a list and I'd go up and like I'm looking for my name, like huh.
Speaker 2:Casey, did he use invisible ink my name out up here? That's kind of weird. I got cut and so I like, I like back to like power vulnerability. I tell my stories where I mess, tell my kids where I messed up, because then, like you know, you inspired me to kind of share that story. So this is about you, not me. This is not the Casey podcast, it's your podcast. No, no, those are really good examples and anecdotes.
Speaker 1:I think that's important If you're to think of like the two values that your dad taught you.
Speaker 2:the other dads at home might be able to learn from connecting with a daughter. Tell me what comes to mind. Hmm, Drive for sure. Okay, resilient Would be the end of those words. Tell me a story about both words If something comes to mind about my dad or about me? About driving resilience.
Speaker 1:Okay, well, I mean, goodness, there's so much. He is just so driven. He works way too many hours but loves what he does, and I feel like that's something that I always recognized in him when I was a young girl. I saw him working all the time. I mean, he would be on work trips, he'd be gone, he'd work on the weekends at the office, but I knew what he was doing and I knew how much he loved it, and so for me it was really inspiring, and I think that's something that's really important as a dad, especially when your daughter is young.
Speaker 1:There's just this thing called work. Right, you don't really understand what it is, what it means, what he's actually doing, but you know that he spends a lot of time on it and you know that it's really high on his priority list. And if you feel like you don't understand what this thing is and he doesn't really like it or it's really stressful, he says negative things about it, but it's higher on the priority list than you are. It is very, very confusing as a daughter, and so my dad did a really, really good job of helping me understand what it is. That he did by showing me projects, by showing me blueprints, letting me draw on them, make my own blueprints, sit me down and show on the computer some of the things he's doing. He would even take me to work on Saturdays with him to the office and just really show me that work hard, be passionate about what you do, and then I mean that's life right. If you love what you do and you can work hard, then I feel like you're thriving, at least for me, for my dad.
Speaker 1:So I think that's one thing that I observed from him. I saw how driven he was always and I really respect that and I feel like that's influenced me and my career and just my attitude towards work. So that's one about drive resilience. I think that's something that golf might be a good example for. He always told me drive for show, putt for dough, and he would. I would golf with him a lot.
Speaker 1:Usually he wouldn't be messing up much because he's a really good golfer, but when he did, he didn't blow up, he didn't scream, yell, throw his club. There was none of that. It was very composed, like uh-oh, and I think that's something that I learned early on, just by observation again, and it reminds me of a story in high school when I was playing a match and it was a really important match against our competitor and I started the. I was team captain. I started the first hole with a triple bogey and I then I went to the next hole. I was like it's okay, I can shake it off, but I'm not okay, I'm kind of really stressed out. Another triple bogey.
Speaker 2:And then the six over through two.
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, the third hole, another triple bogey nine over through three.
Speaker 1:Oh, I was like, oh my god, like I don't know what's going on right now, like I'm freaking out. And then I stopped and I thought about my dad and I thought about how it's like. He always said, every stroke matters Doesn't matter. You know what you've done in the past. You have to pause and recognize, like control, what you can control, what's in the future, what can you do with these holes? Moving forward and I part of the rest of the holes, my score ended up counting. It wasn't my best score by any means, but Shot 45.
Speaker 1:I did shot. Yeah, I did good, good, quick math there and my coach pulled me aside and she said that she's never been proud of me. Proud of me and I was like Kind of blown away because I thought here I was you know worse round of my life. But it was the fact that I was able to get back up, I was able to compose myself and be resilient the way that I'm seeing my dad be resilient but Really stood out to her. So I love it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's a great story, Golf, and it is a. It is a mean, mean, mean game.
Speaker 2:It is such a hard game. Rory McRoy says it. Three words describe golf. Golf is hard and when my son or I or anybody I play with struggles, I'm like golf's hard. And when I tell myself that it's a hard game and it and it's gonna humble you whenever you and when you're not ready for it. And my son this past he, he had a horrendous round for him but I was like but you qualify for this tournament. Would you rather not qualified and not made it all? Or rather qualified and finished really bad for you right.
Speaker 2:We went and saw a my, his high school golf coach, shout out Mark, shampoo, his uncle, uncle Bill. He's actually used to be a golf coach, like for in college and now he does like golf mental work. And so Since I do like mental coaching and like mindset work for for people in business, I didn't I wanted someone else to hear like coaching of me other than nice me. So I found this guy in bill and there's a guy in Bruce Brown who's who wrote about confidence. He said confidence is built one person inside the home, one person outside the home. And so that always hit me and so I was trying to always find writer my son and son a good Person outside. And so when we found bill this fall, it helps so much. And so one of the things he talks about is Smiling five times each hole. Hmm, just smile. And then when you're, as you're walking down the fairway, on each hole, think of one thing your gratitude. On each hole, each hole you got, think of something differently. You're not telling me, but you're telling yourself. And like when you're so, it says when your head's down, where's your emotion? It's like usually sad, when your heads up I'm feeling better about myself. So I always say you know, no matter what happened.
Speaker 2:You know he talks about you know being committed, having clear goals, but once the club hits the ball, it's out of your control. Frickin Condor could come by and clip the ball. He could. A gust of wind, an earthquake could happen, a tornado could hit and take it, but we don't know what's gonna happen. But, like so much of what you just talked about, I love that you share because, as dads or when we're helping our kids Whatever they're gonna do, we either can live vicariously through them or we can help them. Think about ways to battle through life's challenges, like Madeline's dad did, and how people have helped me work, things I'm working on with my kids, and so I love the story that you shared. You talk about drive. Do you think drive, that lesson of drive or the lesson of drive, helped you write the book? Oh, absolutely.
Speaker 1:Yeah, as soon as I committed to it, it was like it wasn't even a question if I was gonna finish the book or write the book. It was, it was a certain, and that all happened within a few hours and I was committed to it. So, um, especially after talking to him, I mean as soon as I heard his reaction to my thoughts on writing the book, it was like game over, I have to write this. There you go, yeah.
Speaker 2:So take, walk me back or take me back to the day You're in. You're in Cali, maybe roll. You're strolling the beach and you're like you know what? I'm gonna write a book called girl dad. Like, how did it happen?
Speaker 1:Yeah, it actually happened, very similar to how you just described, except I did not know that.
Speaker 2:Well, it was it was kind of wild because I was in the car and I was at a stoplight.
Speaker 1:I can remember exactly where I was. Um, it was in Santa Monica and I just had this thought pop into my head you should write a book called girl bad. And I was like, huh, that's really interesting, I actually really like that idea. And then I called my dad and immediately and told him and he was like, oh my gosh, yeah, I know you talk about the boy he knee and like you know, just listing off all these examples, and I was like, wow, okay, yeah, there's definitely a book here. And then, as I started writing it, I realized that you know, my dad's amazing, but there's so many other dads out there who are also incredible and their daughters have stories and they have stories. So that's when I started interviewing a wide variety of dads and daughters to really get you know the full 360 Of these stories and advice. And so that's why it really inspired the book.
Speaker 1:Um, but you know, I'm actually reading Rick Rubin's book right now, the creative act way of being, and it's this kind of sounds a little woohoo, but I like it really hit home.
Speaker 1:Um, he says that artists are just the vessel for the idea, and so and like, basically, if it's not you who does the writing, if it's not you who does this thing, if it's not you who paints it or Creates this business or writes this book, somebody else will. Just depends on how it kind of like Manifests. And so I feel like that idea of girl dad really did kind of just come to me, for for a reason, because I have this amazing dad, I have these stories that I can share and it's something that I'm very passionate about, and I think that it's an important message that needs to get out to the world, and so I feel like it's almost my duty and responsibility to make this happen. And it's much more than a book, it's. I feel like it's a movement, and I'm really excited to see it grow and to and to what it will become. But that was a long-winded answer.
Speaker 2:All right, no, it's good, but tell me, tell me the biggest lesson you learned from writing the book, your biggest takeaway.
Speaker 1:Oh, oh the. The father daughter relationship is so special, it's so important and it is so meaningful, especially to us daughters. Like having a good relationship with your dad. It just sets you up for success in so many ways, and it's just one of life's greatest gifts.
Speaker 2:For dads out there that maybe don't have, they don't have the best relationship with their daughter, maybe they can't connect to them. They don't have to say you know what to do. Um, maybe something happened. Um, I know your book has stories of dads, of young dads, old dads. There's. There's stories and make everybody will make sure that this book's linked in the show notes. You can go out and check it out. I've read it highly. I big, big fans enjoy it. I mean some of the, some of the stories. As you go through it it takes you back to certain, certain times of life. But back to the question. For a dad that maybe has not connected with his or her daughter, what, what, what can they do? What advice would you have based on things, people you've interviewed, other dads you've talked to other daughters you've talked to tell me what comes to mind.
Speaker 1:I would say intention and attention um studying the intention to have a good relationship would be step one, and paying attention to her, what she needs and how you can? Um improve the relationship, and I'll. I'll share a quick story because I think it's important. Um, I was just at a conference recently and One of the women there asked me what I did and I told her about girl dad and I just saw her eyes light up and she she told me that when she was growing up, she had a terrible relationship with her dad. He was always working, he was never present, he didn't know her friends names. It really bothered her. He didn't know what her age was, what she was up to, just was really, really absent from her life. And when she was 18, going off to college, she told him.
Speaker 1:She said, hey, dad, you know I'm really upset by the way that this is how our relationship has been and she really just um opened up on how she was feeling and he broke down because he told her that His this whole time he's been working so, so hard because when he was growing up, his parents didn't have a lot of money and he made a promise that he would work so hard that his daughter Never had to feel the way he felt.
Speaker 1:So this father was doing everything in his power to have a good relationship with his daughter, to Improve her life. Right, that was his intention, but he missed the whole point, which was that she wanted to just be close with him, feel, feel heard from him, feel loved by him, feel worthy of his time. And she didn't get any of that because he was working so hard for her. So it's, um, you know, a tough situation, but I say this because it just took one conversation to heal their relationship and after that they Hashed everything out and he made a, a really strong promise to himself and to her To show up for her in the ways that she needed to be Um showed up for.
Speaker 1:So that's you know, calling her, checking in on what she's doing and throwing his love for her through whatever her love, love languages are and just Really being there for her the way that she needed, rather than supporting her financially, um, which is what he originally thought she needed from him. So I think, um, for all the dads out there who are struggling with their relationship with their daughter, I would say you can turn it around. It's. It's not a forever thing, um, I think there's also Ups and downs and challenges throughout life, especially probably in the teenage years, and that's normal. But I think really being intentional about it and showing up every day for your daughter and never giving up on her or the relationship, will set you up for success and just really get to know who she is too, so that you can tailor the relationship to her, because everyone's different. You might be speaking a different language, and that's really all the problem is, and it's simple to fix. You just have to figure out what her language is and start speaking that.
Speaker 3:Hi, I'm Leslie Vickery, the CEO and founder of ClearEdge, a company dedicated to transforming the business of talent. Through our three lines of business ClearEdge, marketing, recruiting and rising that help organizations across the recruitment and HR tech sectors grow their brands and market share while building their teams with excellence and equity. I believe we were one of Casey's very first clients. He helped our sales and account teams really those people on the front lines of building and developing client relationships in so many ways. Here are a few. He helped us unlock the power of curiosity. For me it was a game changer. I was personally learning all about Ted based that's, tell, explain, describe, questioning and that really resonated with me. We also learned about unlocking the power of humility and unlocking the power of vulnerability. Casey taught us to be a team player, to embrace change, to stay positive. He is one of the most positive people I know. He believes that optimism, resilience and a sense of humor can go a long way in helping people achieve their goals and overcome obstacles.
Speaker 3:And I agree Casey's book when the Relationship, not the Deal it is a must read. Listen, whether you're looking for coaching and training or a powerful speaker or keynote, casey is one of the people I recommend, when talking to companies, the end result for us, at least as one of Casey's clients our own clients would literally commend our approach over all other companies, from the way we were prepared in advance of a call, to how we drove meetings, to how we follow up. It sounds really basic, I know, but let me tell you it is a standout approach that led to stronger relationships. I encourage you to learn more by going to kcjcoxcom. You have nothing to lose by having a conversation and a lot to gain. Now let's get back to Casey's podcast, the quarterback dadcast.
Speaker 2:As you think back, was there a question or set of questions your dad asked you that helped you open up?
Speaker 1:He's always asking about my interests and my passions. I think at this point he knows who I am really well, because we talk almost every day. I'm pretty open about how I'm feeling and love to talk. There's that too, I think, really just being curious about who your daughter is, what she's up to, what her love language is, that's a really powerful thing to explore what her personality type is. There's all kinds of little quizzes you can take to really figure out who someone is and how they respond best to questions or to competitiveness or to drive. There's all these different ways you can approach her and try to relate to her. But yeah, I would say, start by knowing who she is and what she cares about.
Speaker 2:Okay, awesome, we'll make sure. So you said love language. I've heard about that, but maybe tell it for dads that don't know what that means. Share what that means.
Speaker 1:So everyone has at least one love language. Those are gifts, physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time and acts of service, and so you can show your love by giving one of those love languages and it can be different from the love that you need to receive. So I might give acts of service and always be picking up stuff around the house or whatever that is, but I need quality time, for example. So your daughter might need words of affirmation and she's not hearing the right words of support and love. She might feel the opposite, like she is not loved, she's not special, because she needs to hear those words.
Speaker 1:And some daughters don't need to hear those words at all and they just need a hug or they just need five minutes with dad, just one-on-one, no phones, no distractions, just feeling heard. So that's something you can also ask her too. It's not like you have to play detective and try to figure out what is her love language. It's like ask her have you taken that love languages test? It's kind of fun, interesting, like what's yours, and just get to know what that is, because I think it can help dictate how you can talk to her or react to how she's feeling and what she's saying so yeah, it's a really powerful tool.
Speaker 2:Well, it's sometimes like personality tests or these types of things. It goes back to mindset how you enter and it's like, oh, it's one of those other tests again. But wouldn't you want to know, dads, wouldn't you want to know how your daughter responds to a word, an act, a service like Madden talked about? I would want to know. So maybe that's an activity. Maybe Mike take away from this is mean rally. We got time all weekend. Maybe we'll take a test together.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:You know and as you wrote the book, is there a favorite story that you have that just you love talking about? That might resonate with dads at home.
Speaker 1:Oh, there is one I mean there's so many but there's one of the girls that I interviewed.
Speaker 1:She said that her and her dad had this nightly routine where they would eat ice cream together and it was just kind of like their thing.
Speaker 1:They would do it every night at home growing up and then she went off to college and he was helping her move into her apartment and when he left they said goodbye and everything, and then she was kind of feeling sad and homesick right away and she went to go pull out some ice cream, some comfort food, and there in her freezer was a note from her dad saying I wish I was here eating ice cream with you. And I think it's such a powerful story because she's brought this note with her after she's moved every single time. She's moved, I think, three times at this point and that note's still in her freezer and it's such a simple thing that her dad did, but it meant so much to her and it still has an impact on her today and she sees it every time she goes to get ice cream. And so I think it's just one of those things where you realize that us girls we just went with the little acts of attention and making this feel special, and something as simple as a handwritten note can do wonders.
Speaker 2:So good and so easy. You know, one of the things I thought about in my life is the difference between appreciation and recognition. Appreciation takes time and recognition takes money. Sometimes, like you have, like in business, like if you were recognized our top performers, we had to go pay for a trip. We got to pay for this Just saying, man, thanks for showing up today, thanks for being a great friend, thanks for asking such good questions. That just takes time, but I think sometimes the feeling of appreciation and recognition can still generate the same emotion, and so one of the things that was super important to me when we had, when we have, kids is that I told my wife is I don't remember like my dad when first passed away December 29, 2021, but he was not like I, you know, kind of love you, but like I'm.
Speaker 2:He went to every single sporting event, every single one, and I have such fantastic memories with him. But you know, there's, there's I don't know, I think, just the role of the parents and affection and like these are lasting memories that we're creating every single day, and you're obviously proof of it. You went and wrote a book on. So think about, actually, I have a question. So how do you think this experience you as a daughter with a dad great relationship Then you write this book and now you're you're doing work to serve dads. How do you think this will experience, will impact you as a mom if you decide to have kids?
Speaker 1:I was actually just thinking about this. I think it's definitely going to impact my role as a mother and it's going to allow me to be in the know about all these tips and tricks ahead of time and also as I'm building out the courses for the girl dad network. It's a lot of like psychology on parenting that I would not have been exposed to. It's probably a little premature for me to be, you know, trying to be an expert at this, but I think it'll really really help me as a mom and something I'm really looking forward to.
Speaker 2:Fantastic. The hardest, the hardest part about being a parent is there's no manual when you leave the hospital. They don't give you a warranty. They don't give you to say, all right, you got it and like, what do you mean?
Speaker 3:I got it.
Speaker 2:So let's talk about the, let's talk about girl dad, girl dad, the bookcom, what can dads find there. And so talk about that in the short term. And then big picture, tell us dads what's life can be like, big picture years from now. About, about what you're doing.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so go to the book. Girlthebookcom slash community is where you can sign up for the future community that I'm building right now. Hopefully it'll be out in the near future and big picture would be growing that community to be a huge online platform. I'm really really excited about this, honestly, and so I think that's aspect one. Aspect two is the books. Right now there's only one, but that'll change. And then aspect three is speaking. I would love to get out there more and just get the word out about girl dad, but really just more importantly is the lessons and the takeaways and how dads can have great relationships with their daughters, and that's something that I'm actively working on. I'm speaking at some conferences, international and national, coming up this year and doing more podcasts. So, yeah, hopefully it'll. You'll see me all over the place. Don't get annoyed.
Speaker 2:No, the world needs positivity. So are there any conferences that you might recommend? If dads are looking to network with other dads, they want to figure out ways to invest in themselves, but through its retreats or coaching. Are there any conferences that you've come across, where you've spoke at, that you might recommend.
Speaker 1:I think there's a lot of mastermind groups, which are great for one-on-one networking because they're kind of smaller, so I mean you can Google mastermind in the area. The optimized group is really great for smaller communities. They do cool events and it's all about you know business and entrepreneurship, so you can, and optimizing your time, so that's a great one. There's lots of fathering conferences that I've just recently, you know, learned about and will be speaking at, so I can give more insight after the fact. But I think just wherever you're at or wherever you want to go, just Google that town area and search mastermind or conference, and I'm sure there are lots of opportunities.
Speaker 2:Okay, so I'm curious, I'm going back to something. So international conference.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:How does that happen?
Speaker 1:It's actually in LA.
Speaker 2:So I got really lucky yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Which one's that.
Speaker 1:International Fathers and Family Coalition. Wow yeah, it'll be coming up soon. I'm excited for that.
Speaker 2:And what are you going to be speaking about?
Speaker 1:How to have a good relationship with your daughter and, more specifically, what gets remembered from the daughter's perspective when it comes to a relationship, cause I think I mean there's so many dads out there you know, obviously with your podcast that have so many great stories on how to be a good dad, but I think it's also really great to hear from the daughter's perspective what sticks and what's important and some of the just general takeaways that we have as daughters.
Speaker 2:Love it. So one of the questions I always like asking dads is like one area of their dad game where they know it's not quite where it's where they want it to be, like a mistake they've made. But, like one of my mentors said, it's okay not to know every answer. It's just not okay not to do anything about it. So we have to be vulnerable and humble to know that, hey, no one's perfect. I've yet to meet the perfect person, which means we're all flawed. So not to put your dad on blast, but can you think of a time where Pops was maybe not his best version of himself, but he had to apologize or he made something wrong? That was right that you can think back to a story that maybe impacted you, that might inspire or motivate a dad at home.
Speaker 1:I feel like the area that he could focus on I can't really think of a specific story, but the area that he could focus on is probably stress levels and just trying to find ways to manage them, just because he takes on so much responsibility and he's doing so many things and maybe he could benefit from hiring more people or relying on others more, but he's just like so, go, go, go all the time that I think that affects his stress levels, which I just I'm a big believer in putting your health first mental, physical, and just being the best version of you that you can, and I think that starts by showing up for your health, and a big player of that is stress and cortisol and all that.
Speaker 1:So I think that could be something that he could work on, because I think it and I think a lot of people could work on that, because it translates to their patience and their attitude and their presence. Right, if you're like super stressed out and your mind is racing, it's really hard for you to be present with anyone. So I would say that's just a general category that could benefit from some work, but he does a really good job at still being present, I would say so.
Speaker 2:There we go. I'll put myself on blast. So one of the things I've been well documented on this podcast journey and that it's gotten better, alan is my gap as a competitive dude is patience. How was your dad's patience?
Speaker 1:I would say usually pretty good. I think especially like seeing him on the golf course being so patient and just working so hard all the time. I think that takes a lot of patience. Again, I think that when he was more impatient was when the stress levels were too high.
Speaker 2:So yeah, my dad he was alive could drop the best God damn it's in the world. We would laugh as kids God damn it, casey. And he would say a phrase shut it up which I was like that's not even English, what does that mean, shut it up? But me and my sister would think it was so funny. We'd start laughing and then we'd make it more mad and so I always told myself I don't wanna be that dad. That's like this psycho, intense, crazy.
Speaker 2:And there's sometimes, like for example this past week, this ice storm. I had no control over it, I could not control getting up the hill, I couldn't control leaving yet and I found myself as kind of. You know, I had a lighter day at work which I was like so excited to get some stuff done, and then all of a sudden something changed, new opportunity came and then I got crazy. And then this ice storm leaving, all of a sudden just felt like my stress level rise and all of a sudden snapped at my kids, snapped to my wife, and I was like whoa, who is this D-bag? We don't like this dude. And I literally said dad needs a timeout. I'm gonna put myself in timeout.
Speaker 2:And I really walked there and I'm like bro, chill out, like what are you doing? And I went back in Riley hey, sorry, dad was lost. This shit, my dad was not my best version of me. Hey, carrie, sorry, but they make fun of me laughed me and I was like, but I'm like simple as that, like we're not all perfect. And I think sometimes when I just could own it and make that bad side of me, when it came out, it went away so quick just by owning it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's a great story.
Speaker 2:You know, versus sitting in my sitting, this thing letting my ego get in the way, trying to convince them that I'm right and they're wrong and these guys are idiots, and F this and F that. But I was like, I don't know. I've just learned through life at the ripe old age of almost 48. Well, it's so much easier when you check your ego and, again, patience is hard. It's hard, hard, hard. It's absolutely for me.
Speaker 2:But because I know my personality, but I think, talking to so many dads over 230 of them, and now two women soon to be five I know just I love, I love being around people who are growth mindset and trying to find ways to just be the best version of ourselves, Cause you don't know how long we get here and so I want to just continue to be the best version of me. Okay, If a dad's out there that still isn't convinced like I don't know, this book give tell us. Tell us a couple of reasons. What are a couple of key takeaways they're going to get by reading this book, Whether they have a son or daughter?
Speaker 1:Mm-hmm, I think. Number one you learned that you don't have to stop being yourself and doing what you love to when you have a daughter or a son, and actually I would encourage you to double down and do more of it and include your children in what you do. Number two you learn how to know your daughter and see things from her perspective the girl world and you learned that the more you can share your world with her, she'll share her world with you. And then the last thing is you learn how to be intentional and how to focus on the little things that matter the most, and especially from girls themselves who have shared amazing stories on these impacts that the little things have on them.
Speaker 2:Love it. If I know, we talked about girldadthebookcom, we talked about Girl Dad, which you can find on Amazon. Any other place they can find it.
Speaker 1:Not currently, no, just on Amazon. And then, yeah, the only other thing would be, if you wanna reach out to me directly, it's Madeline at girldadthebookcom. That's M-A-D-E-L-I-N-E, so feel free to reach out if you have questions or wanna chat.
Speaker 2:We will make sure all that's linked in the show notes. Are there any other social media places they should go to find you?
Speaker 1:Yes, girldad underscore the book on Instagram.
Speaker 2:Girldad. Underscore the book at Instagram. We'll make sure that's linked in the show notes. Madeline, before we let you go, we always do this thing called the lightning round, and which is me just going completely random and asking those bizarre questions I have not thought of and it shows the negative hits have taken too many hits in college not bong hits, but football hits to the head. My job is to ask them as quickly as I can. Your job, actually your job is to answer them as quickly as you can, and my job is to try to get a giggle at you.
Speaker 1:All right, challenge accepted.
Speaker 2:Are you ready?
Speaker 1:I'm kinda nervous.
Speaker 2:Okay, true or false, your max can out wrestle your dad in a wrestling match.
Speaker 1:Probably true.
Speaker 2:I got the giggle out of the gate that was a bad visual. Just watching Max wrestle your pops. Okay, if there was to be a golf match you versus your dad for a hundred bucks, who's winning?
Speaker 1:My dad.
Speaker 2:Okay, tell me the best movie you have watched with your dad.
Speaker 1:Ooh, Good Will Hunting. We love that one.
Speaker 2:Great movie. Tell me the last book you read.
Speaker 1:Brave Thinking by Mary Morrissey.
Speaker 2:Okay, favorite comedy movie.
Speaker 1:So many of them. Let's go with Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Speaker 2:Okay, what would be the one song in your phone that all these dads that have read your book, that love your work, they'd be like what Maddon listens to, that song.
Speaker 1:Probably Back and Black by ACDC, I know it's all good.
Speaker 2:Well, bot Rock, I had a girl. I like that. If you were to go on a vacation with your dad just you and him anywhere in the world, where'd you go?
Speaker 1:He always talks about going to Scotland and playing golf, that's it. Scotland. Yeah, I would say probably there, there we go.
Speaker 2:Little St Andrew's trip. That sounds fantastic. If you need a caddy, let me know. If I was to come to your house for dinner tonight, what would you and Max make me?
Speaker 1:Ooh, maybe some bison, cauliflower and noki with RB Audisauce.
Speaker 2:Gee Merry Christmas. You guys run a restaurant too.
Speaker 1:It's good.
Speaker 2:Wow, that sounds really good. Okay, last questions. Tell me two words that describe your dad.
Speaker 1:Driven funny.
Speaker 2:There we go, lighting grounds over. We both giggled. This has been so fun. I'm so grateful that our paths have crossed. I'm so grateful that we're both serving dads. Hopefully, both of our communities will continue to grow. Hopefully, dads at home, as you listen to this, you'll be like you know what? What a great opportunity for me to. If you don't like where your relationship is right now with your daughter, you can go fix it. It's never, never, too late, as Madeline has told us and as a future guest next week will tell us as well. But I want to thank you so much for your time. It's been fantastic. I'm getting to know you. We'll make sure all your digital assets and links and everything is linked in the show notes so that people can go and connect with you and learn more about you and make sure they pick up and copy this book. Madeline, thanks so much. Keep doing the great work you're doing. I'm really, really grateful for our time today.
Speaker 1:Thank you, Casey, and me too.