We kickoff March with a fantastic guest, that only happens due to the amazing Dale Favors! Thank you, brother!
Stepping up to the plate is none other than Kenny Lofton, a baseball icon whose stories of fatherhood are as captivating as his storied Major League Career. There's a common thread that weaves through the fabric of sports and parenting – the dedication, the high stakes, and the deep-rooted joy of watching someone you've nurtured thrive. Kenny unpacks this parallel with us, sharing not just anecdotes from his athletic journey, but more importantly, his heartfelt approach to being a dad. He touches upon the discipline from baseball that translates into parenting, and a promise to his grandmother that shaped his life's trajectory.
As we explore the innings of Kenny's life, he gets candid about the hurdles he's jumped over in the court system to protect his rights as a father and the significance of family bonds, even when co-parenting throws a curveball. The conversation swings from the importance of maintaining a positive environment for children amidst personal conflicts to the strategies he employs for effective and loving parenting. The stories Kenny shares are a testament to the strength of character and the deep impact of a father's presence in a child's life – a connection that can weather any storm.
Rounding third and heading for home, our dialogue turns to the lighter side of life and the quirks that make Kenny's family unique. This episode is not just a home run for sports enthusiasts but a heartfelt signal to fathers everywhere to cherish their role in the grand game of life.
To learn more about Kenny, please visit FilmPool.net or StillGotGameFoundation.org.
Join us as we celebrate the art of fatherhood with the wisdom and warmth of Kenny Lofton.
Please don't forget to leave us a review wherever you consume your podcasts! Please help us get more dads to listen weekly and become the ultimate leader of their homes!
We kickoff March with a fantastic guest, that only happens due to the amazing Dale Favors! Thank you, brother!
Stepping up to the plate is none other than Kenny Lofton, a baseball icon whose stories of fatherhood are as captivating as his storied Major League Career. There's a common thread that weaves through the fabric of sports and parenting – the dedication, the high stakes, and the deep-rooted joy of watching someone you've nurtured thrive. Kenny unpacks this parallel with us, sharing not just anecdotes from his athletic journey, but more importantly, his heartfelt approach to being a dad. He touches upon the discipline from baseball that translates into parenting, and a promise to his grandmother that shaped his life's trajectory.
As we explore the innings of Kenny's life, he gets candid about the hurdles he's jumped over in the court system to protect his rights as a father and the significance of family bonds, even when co-parenting throws a curveball. The conversation swings from the importance of maintaining a positive environment for children amidst personal conflicts to the strategies he employs for effective and loving parenting. The stories Kenny shares are a testament to the strength of character and the deep impact of a father's presence in a child's life – a connection that can weather any storm.
Rounding third and heading for home, our dialogue turns to the lighter side of life and the quirks that make Kenny's family unique. This episode is not just a home run for sports enthusiasts but a heartfelt signal to fathers everywhere to cherish their role in the grand game of life.
To learn more about Kenny, please visit FilmPool.net or StillGotGameFoundation.org.
Join us as we celebrate the art of fatherhood with the wisdom and warmth of Kenny Lofton.
Please don't forget to leave us a review wherever you consume your podcasts! Please help us get more dads to listen weekly and become the ultimate leader of their homes!
Hi, I'm Riley and I'm Ryder, and this is my dad's show, hey everybody, it's Casey Jaycox with the quarterback dad cast. We are in season five and we continue on. After a fantastic month of February, we're learning so much about some fantastic women, some authors, some just great females impacting us dads, trying to create better ways for us to be better leaders of our home, to create ways we can impact our kids more from a curiosity perspective, a humility perspective, a vulnerability perspective. Those are what I call our superpowers, dads. So what do we have ahead? We have some fantastic dads and a few moms that we're going to sprinkle in over the next few months. We have some new sponsors that we will be introducing later in this journey of this podcast. But continue to please listen, continue to please share each episode with people that you think could really get impacted by this, by these conversations. So, without further ado, let's get to today's episode on now on the quarterback dad cast. Well, hey, everybody, it's Casey Jaycox with the quarterback dad cast and we welcome to season five, and the season's been super, super fun. We've introduced women to the first time of the show, which I thought would never happen, but we did. We're recording in February. This episode will come out in about a month or so and I'm beyond grateful and humbled to introduce our next guest.
Speaker 2:As with your Seattle Mariner, this gentleman has brought many tears to our face, many frustrations to our face because a we couldn't throw him out at second to he always hit the opposite way we knew was coming. He still did it anyway. He was part of the biggest comeback against the Mariners in history, which I watched painfully. But his name is Kenny Lofton and he's from East Chicago, indiana. He's a multiple goal glove winner. He spent 20, 21 years in professional baseball mix of a little bit in the minors, a little bit in the pros, for obviously majority of his crew was with Cleveland. But more importantly, we're going to talk about Kenny the dad. We're going to educate ourselves on some of the challenges he's faced as a father. We're going to learn more about how he was impact, how he the game of baseball has impacted him, but more importantly, how Kenny's just working hard to be that ultimate quarterback for his kids. And Mr Lofton, welcome to the quarterback dad cast.
Speaker 2:Thank you, thanks for having me, casey, you bet we have to give love to our man that we have in common, the one and only Dale Favors, who he's got multiple, multiple times. I get loved on this, on this podcast, because Dale is one of my great friends who has impacted my life in many ways, and so I got to give much love to Dale for making today's conversation happen.
Speaker 1:You guys are you're fraternity brothers correct. Yeah, I'm Cap-Albasi, that's right. I appreciate, dale, you know doing what he's doing to introduce me to yourself and a lot of other people. The connections he has goes a long way, on different spectrums, and I just appreciate the love that he's he's given me and, you know, trying to help me build this stronger foundation of what I'm trying to do as a, as a man and an entrepreneur. So thank you again, dale.
Speaker 2:You bet. Thanks, buddy, and I told you when we first met I am, I am going to be. Eventually I'm going to join you and maybe others in the Soul Cup.
Speaker 1:Oh hi, the golf, the Soul, golf Cup, yeah.
Speaker 2:I'm hoping to make it.
Speaker 1:It's pretty funny, it's just got to. You just got to enjoy the time and and just and just enjoy it and just I think it's just more about the camaraderie. Guys, go out there and have a good time and just enjoy golf.
Speaker 2:Love it. Well, I always like to start each episode Kenny with with gratitude, so tell me, what are you most grateful for as a dad today?
Speaker 1:Well, I'm just grateful to just to be able to to to be a father. That's that's the biggest thing for me and an opportunity to to show me as a person and what I can bring to to my daughter and what I can show her to, right and wrong, and just do it the right way. That's. That's what it's all about.
Speaker 2:Love it. I am, we're in February, I'm, I'm, we're, always we're. When this episode comes out, it's going to be a month from now, but I've had a, had a really cool moment this week. I was grateful for just some some time I spent with my son and my daughter, both like kind of with athletics. My daughter's a basketball player, my son's a high school golfer. He's going to play golf at a small school in Oregon next year called Southern Oregon University. So but just, I love when I get the chances to have conversations about growth, be able to tell about maybe some of my challenges or failure, and then when I see my kids have resilience when they put in tough environments, it's like it's fun to see them bounce back. Like, for example, this week we had a.
Speaker 2:My daughter had a challenging hoop game against a school where I went to high school. So a lot of my high school football coaches back then came in to watch my daughter and some of her teammates and my daughter had a kind of a silly foul at the end of the game, tried to take a charge and not the right time, put them with a line. Now they went up one with like 55 seconds left. She gets the ball on the wing, gets to the hoop, gets fouled. Now she has a chance to make it right. She misses the first and she's a really good free throw shooter.
Speaker 2:I'm like, oh no, my mind, this is pressure. Thankfully she knocks down the next shot and ties it up and then she ends up getting a steal with like 15 seconds left. Her teammate throws her a lob, she goes. That makes a lane. With like 14 seconds left. We go up by two place goes nuts. I'm freaking out. I was like I was more having fun talking about not the outcome of the success, but the fact that you didn't lose your shit. You stayed on it, mindset-wise, and you didn't. So those are the. That's like this stage of my father. I'm just excited to see this side of my kids come out.
Speaker 1:Nice, nice.
Speaker 2:Well, tell me a little bit about what's Kenny up to these days, and then a little bit about, about your daughter.
Speaker 1:What I'm up to. You know I still have my film production company. I had that since 0405. The name of the company is called Film Pool. We've been out here in LA and we do a lot of different small budget films. We produce, we direct, we have editing, we do post, color, sound, audio, special effects. We do all of that and then play a lot of golf and then I have my daughter 50% of the time. So I enjoy that time and it's a challenge at times. But you know, I put myself in this position to do this and I'm going to take it to the finish line.
Speaker 2:Love it. Tell me what. What is your daughter like to do activities-wise? What is her passions?
Speaker 1:Well, she started off doing a little bit of Jiu-Jitsu.
Speaker 1:And then I think she ended up outgrowing that, I think. And then she went from there to want to play a little bit of volleyball. We did some beach volleyball for a little bit. Then she went from there and then she tried to work on it with a one-on-one coach to do indoor volleyball, but she just didn't. It just didn't get to that next level or get to where I thought she wanted to be.
Speaker 1:But I just let her try it and see how. You know, I took her to the batting cages. She can hit the ball pretty good, she used to, can run really fast. And now she's turning to this little girly girly not wanting to do a whole lot of things at times, you know, but there are a lot of girls that do stuff, not to say that.
Speaker 1:But she turned into the one where I bought a hair and what she looks like and all that kind of stuff and what I think her main thing is talking to her friends on the FaceTime thing and they do this thing called Roblox, blux, blux, roblox, whatever that thing. Man, it's pretty crazy. I don't get what they do. But again, for me, the only reason why I don't make a big deal about her doing it, because she's interacting with her peers and in this day and age, trying to get that in right now is kind of tough, and for her to just be able to do that with them, it feels like they're with them, so it's pretty cool when they can't actually be in front of them.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's such a mindset shift. I'm glad you said that because there's times, like during COVID, when, like, my son was on Xbox all the time, but I'm like, but they're talking, they're. You know, I mean, the world wouldn't let us see anybody, which was, you know, such a weird time we all went through. But he at least they're interacting. And now, like when they play Xbox, he's playing Madden or whatever they're like, they're talking, smack to each other, they're joking around. You know where it's least. It's their social. Now, it's not like how probably you or I would want to do it, and it kind of takes us to open up our mind sometime. Which is to Jiu Jitsu. Actually, we're going to have my daughter's high school basketball coach. He will be a future up. So, yeah, they own a Jiu Jitsu gym, oh yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, I think it's the Taekwondo whatever, I don't, I don't even know. They was put these white uniforms on, they tangling, they grip and they. You know all that kind of stuff and it's. She enjoyed it. But you know, in her because she was a little bit bigger than her size from the other kids and it was, it was pretty funny, funny to watch.
Speaker 1:And then when she had to step it up to the higher level she had to go against a couple of boys and at first she got a little intimidated but when she felt like she can hang in there with them then she felt a little bit better. But it was just the fact that I'm like you know you can't, you can't knock until you try it. You know you have to go out there and see if you can go against this big kid and you know who's older than she was, even though she didn't beat him. But she felt like she hung in there and that's that was a positive note that she got out of it, that even though you were, she was bigger than you. But you know you held your own at that point. So it was, it was cool, just to watch.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm sure. I was sure that was probably a good confidence builder or booster. Okay, I'd love to learn more about Kenny growing up. What was life like for you growing up, that impact you know family had on you, and maybe I'd love to learn a little bit about, maybe, the baseball journey before we get into fatherhood stuff.
Speaker 1:Um, we know, for me, I grew up in you know typical area where it was poverty, gangs and drugs and alcohol and shooting, killing. They all had all that going on. And but my out, you know where I grew up, my I grew up with my grandmother and she instilled in me you know the right thing she's still to me the right thing to do, what's right or wrong. And your, your actions have consequences. You know so and I looked at that as you know what you got to, you got to. You got to be accountable for what you do. So if you don't do nothing wrong, you don't have to feel like you're going to be accountable for something.
Speaker 1:And where I grew up, if you were in sports, the gangs and all that, they kind of stayed away from you. They kind of let you do your thing because they knew you were trying to do something with yourself. But also it gave them out to see something cool and watch. And we had a rivalry one side of town, the other side of town. But when we played the basketball games like it just kind of stopped. So it was pretty cool and I was a baseball, basketball, football track guy. I had all those sports.
Speaker 1:Growing up. Family was very instrumental in that because, again, I had the support I needed. That was something that I think pushed me to that next level knowing they were there and cheering for me and cheering me on and that gave you that extra boost. But I just felt like I had some, some type of talent. I had something there because I was always athletic and being able to put that together on the football track basketball, baseball and I think after my freshman year I had to stop football because I was the I was the beginning Michael Vic running and passing and got blindsided one time.
Speaker 1:That was all she wrote it's like what are you going? I'm going home.
Speaker 2:Right that hurt.
Speaker 1:I'm done, yeah, and I was done so. And then I started still doing track and baseball with the same time, but basketball would had his own thing at the time. So I ran some track meets at the time I was playing baseball, because they were running kind of at the same time, doing that timeframe. But I ended up, you know, doing baseball and basketball in high school and that's that's pretty much how I grew up.
Speaker 2:Wow, now is grandma still with us.
Speaker 1:No, she's not. She died in 2014.
Speaker 2:Rest in peace, grandma.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:Is now. Did you know your mom or dad growing up?
Speaker 1:I knew my mom, but I didn't know my dad and my dad my mom would have me when she was young and and still you know, doing what she was doing. Grandma said you were out there still running around, I'm going to take care of him, and she did it. She did what she can do and and look what the you know, look what it did well. Yeah.
Speaker 2:That's awesome. So you grew up like what were like, if you think of, like the values grandma taught, taught you like that were like the really impactful. Obviously, doing the right thing, actions have more consequence. That wrote that down. I love that. Did what? What of those lessons have stuck with you now as being a dad?
Speaker 1:Yeah that was the biggest thing is taking care of your responsibilities. She made it. I mean, I made a promise to her that I was going to get my college degree and I ended up doing that. But I think the value, like I said, you know you have to act. Action has consequences, you know, and for me is you have a responsibility. You know you take care of responsibility and I think that's really stuck with me and I'm pushing forward on that and I'm not going to let anything or anyone deter me from that. You know it's like you created it, you built it, you take care of it.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So baseball wise you get done. You end up hoop now as a. I put quarterback in college and I know what it's like in the 90s to get hit by quarterbacks in 90s. I know I'm making myself date myself here and I know I'm a little Uncle Rico, napoleon Dynamite path taking us down. But the hits that quarterbacks took in the 90s are nowhere near the kids they take now. Yeah, and it was like 1000, 1000, 2000,. And then they still could blast me, pick me up, body slammy. I'm like how was that not a lay hit? And I get called like by the right, like come on, stop complaining. I'm like I just got fricking suplex from the top ropes, like how is that legal?
Speaker 3:So I know that.
Speaker 2:Oh, it's changed so much, but I mean those sports I played. I was a football, basketball, baseball guy. Then I was average at all three and then in football was part of my best chance to play in college, which is great I did. When did you decide to go all in on baseball and when did you know that, man, I got a chance to keep taking the same, the next level.
Speaker 1:Like I said, I played basketball and baseball in high school and my first love was always baseball. But growing up in East Chicago, indiana and in the Hoosier, and that basketball was the excitement you know, you had the girls cheering you on and all that. Basketball, baseball you didn't have that and for me I could. You know from where I grew up and how I grew up on food stamps, welfare and all that I mean. That's how I grew up and the opportunity for me to go to that next level was college and baseball was not given full scholarships. Basketball was. So the opportunity for me to go to college it had to be in basketball and not in baseball, because I couldn't afford to even a partial or half or whatever type of scholarship, and for it I needed a full ride and basketball gave me an opportunity to do a full ride. So I end up, you know, going playing basketball at the University of Arizona and at that time I was like I said, I was coming from where I grew up.
Speaker 1:You know I wanted to play baseball as well, but I, when I got to school, I found out how, how strenuous the whole schedule was School, basketball, homework, studies. That was a bit much for me. So we end up having tutors and study sessions because, again, it wasn't what I was used to. So that took up all of my time. And the opportunity for me to play two sports it was. It was not happening. So after my junior year I was starting to understand college life. I was understanding my school, my grades, where everything was on a level to where I say, you know what, I understand the ropes and the hard work. So talk to Ludo Olson and he ended up calling up Jerry Kindle at the time was the coach and he said can Kenny come out and work out with the team? They say, sure, come to them, come on out. When I started working out with the team and some scouts were there and the first thing they did, you know, when I heard them later, they was like man, this brother can run.
Speaker 1:That was my main thing was he can run. They said he, they can tell I had some baseball skills. But they knew it was rusty because I've been playing basketball for the last three years. So for them to see my skills just out there and they see me run, they saw me bond, hit the body, it's like okay, he just looks rusty. And the guy who scouted me was a good friend of mine. Stay, old, clark Christ. He was with the Houston Astros and he ended up taking the chance on me because, again, he said he knew talent. He said I saw you, I saw your ability, I saw you play basketball and just to see you on the baseball field and what he always says, that you can't teach speed. You can work on other stuff around it, but you can't teach speed. He said I had this speed.
Speaker 1:And so, make a long story short, I end up signing a minor league contract and baseball played that summer in Auburn, new York, some small place was. It was bad out there but it was. It was a low rookie ball. And when so I started, like in June, mid June, and I ended up leaving in August to go back to school because I have basketball, I had one more year of college basketball. So I went back and start playing basketball. You know minor league baseball, playing basketball, but no, and yeah.
Speaker 1:So after basketball season was over, I started playing baseball again and when August hit, again, I end up going back to school because I had nine, had nine credits left, I had three, three classes and, like I told you, I promised my grandmother I was going to get my degree. And I told Houston, as I told you guys before him, I'm going to get my degree. So I went back, got my degree and then, after I got my degree, walked across that stage. I told them, called him. I said hey, I'm all yours. What do you want? I got my degree, like I said I was going to do, and I'm all yours, and that's. That's what happened.
Speaker 2:Wow, that's a cool story. I know grandma smiling down that you did that. That's awesome. How many, how many people from where you grew up made it to college.
Speaker 1:Well, a lot of small colleges where I grew up. But I mean I can't put a finger, I mean a number on it, but you know quite, you know I'm not saying quite a few. I'll say out of a percentage of a hundred percent probably, maybe 40%, 35, 40%.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But like, think about the grit, resilience that took mindset, belief. These are all things I know I've really enjoyed talking to other dads about. These are things I talked to my kids about. The word believe is one of my favorite words, which, as you can see behind me, people can't, since we're audio only. I think it's one of the most powerful words that I mean. Ted Lasso made a big deal about it, but you know, when we believe in something or believe in an outcome, or like it's so powerful, you know, and like you believe that I'm going to do this and you could have easily said I'm going to take the money and go play baseball, but that had been on your conscience for us, your life and you know, grandma, would be like wait a minute you know can't let grandma down.
Speaker 1:I'll make a promise.
Speaker 3:So yeah, I just say, when you make a promise, you don't back down on that promise.
Speaker 1:You take it to the end.
Speaker 2:Yep, okay, I will, I want to. Well, one. You should know that one of my, one of my clients somehow he asked me this week about I gotta give a shout out to Justin Dill, former catcher I think he played catcher of Vanderbilt and he's like how's he's going? Am I good man? He's asked podcast going good? I go, I got. You're never gonna believe it. I get interviewing one of the best Indians of all time. He's like who's that? I go, who do you think he's like? Lofton? I'm like, yep, he's like how'd you get him? I go, I don't know my boy Dale, and he goes, make sure you tell him. So this is from Jack. I gotta get. He said there's not a better opposite filled hitter. He goes way bogs. Tony Gwynne and Kenny Lofton doing good company, my man.
Speaker 2:And he too, believes that the one only Kenny Lofton, should be in the Hall of Fame. So we're going to start pumping it, pumping it up. Try to do our small part to make that happen for you.
Speaker 1:Thank you, I appreciate that.
Speaker 2:So okay, so let's let's transition to some dad stuff. So you and I had a chat before and it was really really eye opening for me and I think is my go out of this conversation too is just to help educate people that maybe, like have don't have perspective or understanding of challenges when people have either a husband and a husband or wife that's one obviously having a child, and you have a boyfriend, girlfriend that's an option or just you just have a child. Maybe things happen. But I love to just maybe share a little bit how the things that you love about being a dad and then maybe some of the challenges that you've seen as a father, given like some of the the how are maybe our current court systems are set up.
Speaker 1:The positive of being a dad is you have this individual. You can, you can how can I explain it? So it's so touching to really talk about it. But you can have this individual, be so small and to be and to make them into a grown up. You know, it's something that lessons that I learned I'm instilling into them or to her and and I also get lessons listening to her as well. So I think that's the biggest thing is to see the growth from day to day, seeing her. She barely crawled but from walking to talking to, to interaction, to for them, for them to get her own, just her own personality, just to see all that stuff.
Speaker 1:It was, it was, it was just a good feeling to see that I was part of a growth of a, of a child, of an individual, and it's part of me, is who I am Part of. Her DNA is my DNA. So, and then I think the biggest thing that I get from it is to see the smaller her face when, when something's accomplished. You know that's that's a big thrill of mine. When she do something, she do a task, and just see the smaller her face. When I taught her how to ride a bark, that was tired tire shoe. We're only two of the people that I know. We tire shoes with the book, with the, with the, with the with the rabbit ears.
Speaker 1:Some people do the wrap around of no, but that's how I did it, and now that's how she does it. So it's like, man, you see, and you see a part of her in me. I mean you see a part of me and her and you see it. You like wow. And then for my family members and everybody say, man, that's your child, she do this, just like you did, and one of my you know. So it's just fun to see and that's just a great. I mean that's just a great, great feeling.
Speaker 2:Love it. Love it what and how? How much family is around still that you get to interact with, like aunts, uncles, cousins?
Speaker 1:Well, they all back in Chicago and Ohio area, cincinnati, and try to see them every summer when we have the time off. And then sometimes family members come to California, mom California and they're come out here. But I'll end up doing like Thanksgiving, because we have every other Thanksgiving and then every two years we have a family reunion we go to. So not as much as I would like because of the distance, but again, with technology you know the zoom calls and face time that works just as important because, again, it's all about the interaction. That that I like and she, she gets the values from the family and they, they, they treat her the same, they get on her just like they did everyone. But that's just the way my family is and I just like the interaction she has with them and she, she adores my family so and they adore her. So it's, it's, it's an awesome feeling.
Speaker 2:What are the biggest characteristics? Characteristics you see in her that are like, oh, that's Kenny in there. Like, what do you see in her that that bring that mind of you?
Speaker 1:I think the willingness to form a task you know if you see a task out there, because that again she gets kind of hesitant at first. But I think that it's almost like you don't know. It's like we all have fear. You know what I mean. So we have some type of fear, but I feel like once she gets over that little fear of starting, oh man, she's gone. So you know she's right there. She's like, boom, I'm here Because, again, sometimes it's almost like you ride a bike. You think you're just going to fall and it's going to hurt. You know, you get on the bike and all of a sudden you fall. He's like, oh, it don't hurt, and then she's boom, she's back up and she's gone. And I think it was just that fear of getting hurt, not succeeding, but not figuring out.
Speaker 1:it's not as bad, it's not as bad as you think that I got hurt, you know, and oh, that's it. It's like she got a shot. She was like, oh, that's it, she was going all crazy or whatever, but she got a shot, that's it. And I say, you know what that's kind of like. But again, I've learned. I think that's how I was early on. But I learned. I mean as an adult, I understand, I learn because I know things you're doing. It's not going to, in a sense, kill you per se, so it's going to hurt for a minute, but then that's it. But once you learn that, I think she's learning that when she's starting to be more, more what's the word? More confident in what she does, and I mean what, what she do and how she proceeds and a task or whatever, because she's like, okay, it's, you know, my dad is not going to put me in a situation where it's going to hurt me, so if I tell her to do something or whatever, she won't freak out like she used to.
Speaker 2:That's awesome. That's how you grow is taking those things head on. What so you mentioned you get your daughter 50% of time. What we're talking about?
Speaker 1:some of the challenges with that you've had to overcome face the challenges when you have two parents that are on different wavelengths on how you approach parenting. That's where the difficulty becomes. And again I've learned and I heard it from a judge before and he said both of you guys made this child, both of you guys should raise this child. And I think that's the difficulties with me is that I feel like as a man having a you know, having a child sometimes the court system or or even the other parent tries to take that opportunity away and that and that really doesn't sit well with me I want to be in in my, my child, my daughter's life as much as the mom. So I want to be allowed to do that, but I feel like in the court system it doesn't allow that to happen.
Speaker 1:You know, I feel like I don't know if I'm rambling on this, no, this is good but I feel like once, once the child is born, I feel like each parent should have 5050 right away. And now, from that point, one parent not doing whatever they should do whatever. Maybe the opportunity is shift 6040 or 70 to whatever how it shifts, but in beginning stages it should be 5050. And, learning from my process, it wasn't that way. It was like you go in there and I was 50% of making this child. I should be 50% of raising this child. But when you go into the court system, it's like, okay, the mom gets all the, the, the custody, and then the dad gets a piece of it. But when it comes down to child support or the money, now it's the other way. The dad pays 80% or 100% and the mom don't have to, and that's. I just feel like that's not, that's not right.
Speaker 2:Seems broken.
Speaker 1:It is. The system is not geared toward fathers and I can and I tell people I now I see why. No-transcript. There are a lot of broken homes and there are a lot of Fathers and mothers Not being in the child's life because it's already geared against the fathers. So the father, right away he has a strike against him. He already comes into the situation where, okay, dude, you're you only gonna get what the mom is gonna allow you to get, and the court, the court system, looks at it as, okay, father means nothing, and that is wrong.
Speaker 1:Yeah and that's why I see and I tell people me, being a black man, I see why Black men or men per se, but just me, I'm saying my perspective of what I've seen why they run away. Because the women make it so hard for them to see their child and, basically, if you don't have money you can't see your child. And that's sad to saying that if you don't pay child support you don't see your child. Now how was that? How is that right?
Speaker 1:Some people just come a hard time situation or whatever you still should be, because again, it's about time with your child, time to, to be a part of that child's life, so they can get to know you. But the it's like the moms want to keep that away from the child, so the child can't get to know them. And now, when it, when the time comes, when they do have an opportunity to child Don't don't really know them and then they'll show the court system or someone see she don't want to be around them or he don't want to be around him because you didn't give my opportunity to get to know their dad. So if they had that opportunity, this whole thing would be so much different in this world, with Fathers and their kids.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I think it's good perspective. I think it's good perspective for people to kind of slow down because in anything, if you're not in it it's just another story and it's like, well, doesn't impact me. So why do I? And I think that's back to Dale, because Dale has become one of my great friends. He's taught I know we've talked previously, but I love giving him love because he's he means the world to me. He's taught me so much about diversity and and taking my curiosity with the versioner level and leaning in on conversations I never used to have before, not because I was Scared or I'm just, I was a naive.
Speaker 2:I was a typical naive white guy that didn't understand the word privilege. I thought I did, but I didn't. So, like, as you're saying, this story, can you make me think about like you shared this before it were you know you, you earned everything you had in life. You were fantastic baseball career. Well, with that came fame, came fortune. That gave you the privilege to now be able to fight the courts a little bit, to be able to lease, and they made me, when you're saying that, made me feel bad about for the parent, let's say the parents of white, black eight.
Speaker 2:I don't. It doesn't matter what they are, but like a forklift driver who makes $15 an hour or a bus driver, they can't afford it. And then, fair, unfair, that person gets stereotyped into a In a box. Well, he must not want to be a good dad. He can't what the system won't let him be a good dad, he can't afford it. And so that was like that just blew me away when I had this, when I stopped and thought about that. It's like I'm grateful that my wife and I are married we were seven great sweethearts but I Can, I mean, I'm just, I'm inspired by your story, but I'm also, I feel bad that you had to go through that just to kind of do it and you've, like grandma taught you, you're not quitting.
Speaker 1:Oh no, I'm not again, like you said about the forklift driver, because right now he's out there working. So he's working so he can Support himself, support the family, or if he by himself or whatever, he's trying to find a way to help support the child. So it should be easier for the mom to say okay, you know what, when you have time, here's the time you can see your child, because, again, he's working all the time and the thing. Basically, there are a lot of times where the father is working and the mother is not, so she gets a lot of time with the child and not an opportunity he wants. She uses that against him. So now she can almost hold this thing over his head because she has all the custody and the court gave him the custody and she can give him Time when she wants to, when she feels it, when her emotions are telling her yeah or nay. That's how she's letting this man see his child.
Speaker 1:Yeah so now he have to fight for that. So now, in order for him to get his fair amount, share with his child, because the court already, right away, gave her all the custody. So now, how do he get it back? He have to pay for it. It's like you have to, I feel like I have to pay to be a father, and that's kind of wrong.
Speaker 1:Yeah that's why I look at it. If and so. That means you're right, I would. I got privileged, the opportunity to be able to make money and be able to pay to be a father. There are people who couldn't do that. You have to, and that's sad when you have to pay to be a father, but do it. But you don't have to pay to be a mother.
Speaker 3:Hello everybody. My name is Craig Coe and I'm the senior vice president of relationship management for be like. For more than 20 years, we've been helping fortune 1,000 companies drive a competitive advantage with their external workforce. In fact, be lines history a first to market innovations have become today's industry standards. I Get asked all the time what did Casey do for your organization? And I say this it's simple. The guy flat out gets it. Relationships matter. His down-to-earth presentation, his real-world experience applied to every area of our business. In fact, his book win the relationship and not the deal has become required reading for all new members of the global Relationship management team. If you'd like to know more about me or about beeline, please reach out to me on LinkedIn. And if you don't know, casey Jay Cox, go to Casey Jay Cox, calm and learn more about how he can help your organization. Now let's get back to today's episode.
Speaker 2:How do, how do you think if you, if you could, kenny's God, he's running the world now. How do we change this?
Speaker 1:what has to happen is that met's like the hardest question ever, but like I don't even know well, it's not that hard because, like with that one judge, again, the judge in Seattle, he was in Seattle, you know, so my daughter was born in Seattle. But so the one judge in Seattle said both of you guys made this child, both of you guys should raise this child. So, and that made me feel good and that's how it should start. And, like I said in the beginning, early on, it should start with when the child is born is 50 50 custody right away. But it's not that way. And then, like I said, if it changes because the situation is going to change it to 6040, said, whatever that's, but that's okay, at least let that father have an opportunity To at least start at 50% Custody, what he's supposed to get and not supposed to pay for it. It's like you're paying. So I'm basically I'm paying. It's like you're paying to do it, to get a service, or you're paying to do a service. Okay, I'm paying someone To see a child.
Speaker 1:That's kind of like I'm gonna pay you to see my child. That's part of my child, it's not, and I think the system looks at it as it's. The mom's child that's how it starts is the mom's child. But without that dad seed, there is no child.
Speaker 2:Right, you know golf like a golf analogy if we play golf we're both gonna play the right tease. I mean if you, if I play the reds and you play the whites? That's not fair, you know exactly.
Speaker 1:But I'm saying but that's how it starts that way. But again, but it starts like that in the court system is like okay, where is your, where is your financial stability? And then to do with the mental stability, because some of the mothers their mental stability is not on the level they should be, but it doesn't matter, they still get all the custody. They have to almost do some violent crime or do something or whatever to even lose part of their 50, 50%. The dad, he's just his name is dad. He lost part of that already because he is the dad, not the mom. Right away he's going. What do we do? Again? 50, 50 from the beginning.
Speaker 2:I mean it makes sense, I mean it, that's. It's really simple when you think about it, but it's unfortunate that it's not that way. Yeah, I've talked to other dads who have cussed, who have split time with their child. Is, um, what talk about? The biggest challenges of just like you know, in your time, control what you can control, trying to find that making that best 50% of time, the most positive, and Not about you know there's stuff going on with the, the partner, the spouse, like x, y, whatever, maybe, which I think can be, could be Challenging to like you don't want to go down that path because sometimes there's really no good outcome, but like, maybe for a dad out there that might be struggling, like what would what? What are things you've done to find Positivity in the do in the 50% time you get? You know whether it's a week, a month, whatever it may be.
Speaker 1:For me. I just try to instill my values on her so she can see it from my point of view, from my perspective perspective, so Long as I feel good about that and and always tell dads never say anything negative about the mom, never. That's something you don't want to do. You always want to try to be positive. But if the daughter says something to you, you just got to say, hey, you know what we're different people. That's, that's who she is, that's as this is who I am. So, and like I tell her you clean up your room, you do all that. I don't. And she knows me and which everyone knows me. I'm not a messy person, I'm not. So when my dad, my daughter, I said you clean your rooms, oh, I forgot. Well, get back up there. You know so, because that's just who I am and I've always been that way and that's the value you know, that I've, that I've. That was instilled in me. Again, my situation a little bit different and the reason, I think the reason I'm not sure I would have probably been a neat guy anyway, but there was another spin that I didn't tell you early on. That comes with me. My grandmother was blind, so I grew up with a blind grandmother and she was. She raised me. So just imagine being blind and Things needed to be in order. So she did pretty much clean. She, I mean she did everything. But you know sometimes you had to come back behind or whatever at times when cleaning. But Everything was in order. You know, she didn't, she, she, she didn't. She wasn't raised Blind, she, it was probably, I'll say 72, 74, 75 up in there when that happened to her. So she had knew all of the waves of living before that. Everything had to be in order when the sugar cane was, I mean, where the can, where the rice, where the flower, where everything Was in order. So she would touch the table. She'll know if I walk straight ahead from this table, on my right hand side is the flower, my left hand side is the sugar. So she already knew that. So for me To live this way of things in order, that was just me. So that was. I was in breaded that way to.
Speaker 1:If you put something, you take it, you put it back. Because seeing her frustration when things were out of place, man, I didn't want to see that Because again, you, one of your senses was taken away. So she got very frustrated when somebody came to the house and move something and I'll come and I know she's frustrated I was like what did they move? I can't find this. I look at somebody. Put it over here. Dude, put it back where it belong. Oh, and I think that's just my mind frame Of how I put things.
Speaker 1:I've gotten a little bit better. A lot of my friends come over my house and say, dude, you live in a hotel, you look like you live in a hotel, everything is this now like alright. So what's my daughter? She was, you know, got stuff all over place when she was younger or whatever. You know, I didn't. I wasn't as a stickler about it and I'm not as a stickler as I used to be. So See something out of place. It's like, oh, other than my daughter. Or there in my daughter's like, oh, you change. I'm like, yeah, kids make you change so.
Speaker 1:So, but yeah, but so. But that's what I mean by the values us try to instill to her or whatever. Things go to things. Things have to place, everything have a place we all have. We all have places in our lives. We have a place we do. So this is who you are and you you. You do what you do to help this world or this place, or whatever thing you do. It's your role, is your spot, is your turn. I said that's why I like team sports, because in order for everyone to be successful, you know that's what you do. And then, just like I always tell guys they say, is there I in team? I say hell, yeah, it is, there is a I in team. If I do my job, it will help the team win. So, yes, I am part of the team, so I is the word. You know what. There is I in team. It's me. So if everybody look at themselves as I do my job, you can be successful. Your team Congel, your team can win, your team can work.
Speaker 2:I love it. I'm curious, you're gonna find this about me. Can you tell me how, grandma, how did she lose her eyesight?
Speaker 1:So it was a glaucoma, so we don't know. It's just again over time, and, you know, with us not having, you know, the, the money, insurance or whatever, we believe it just kind of. And she was never a complainer, she never begs, she never asked for anything. So For that to happen, and we was wondering after some years or whatever, we didn't know exactly when, but she was doing a lot of things with her eyes closed. Anyway, we'll see her with eyes closed and we was just thinking, you know that she was just, you know, closing her eyes to do something. But, lord behold, we figured out it was, it was starting to deteriorate and yeah.
Speaker 2:So does your daughter know that story?
Speaker 1:Yes, yes you know that she met my she. She met it cuz my daughter was born in 2011. Okay and my grandmother passed away in 2014, so okay, she saw her and yeah, so yeah wow.
Speaker 2:Yep that's cool. Well, okay, as we get ready to wrap up here, like as you summarize, well, first I want to give you a love, brother, because I think what I've seen friends go through either divorce or being situation because the easy thing, the common thing or the easy thing to do is to be to throw hate or to throw more fire at the Negative fire and blame a spouse, a partner, whoever. You made a child with a girlfriend, whatever it may be. That's easy to do. The uncommon thing to do is take the high road, which is hard as hell, hardest hell. One of my best pieces of vice I got my life early in my corporate career was this guy said Casey, do you want to be right or do you want to get what you want? And I was like I want to get both. He's like you can't, you got to pick one. I'm like well, I want to get what I want, exactly, you know. And so like being right is sometimes.
Speaker 2:I've seen parents do they just, they just fight for the wrong things. But getting what you want is you want to create the best out of it. They're wrong things, but getting what you want is you want to create the best outcome for your child and I. There's a guy met early in my corporate career he actually former podcast guest to shout to Glenn. He, his ex-wife, took their daughter to Dubai.
Speaker 2:Okay and he said he was at first, he was pissed. He's like what the f? But he's like you know what? She's gonna get an amazing life experience over there. She's gonna get education that I can't give. She's gonna get experience things that I'll never be able to give her selfishly. I want her to stay here, but if she wants to go and she's excited about it, I have to check my ego and I'm like dude, how did you do that? I'm like you're better than me. I don't know if I could have done that. And then she came back and they have this great relationship and they see each other at the time. But it's like I think those are the stories that I want to help highlight. Like what you're doing, what Glenn's doing, it's not easy. I mean like, even like you. You told me about the trip you took, took her to Africa, right or Nairobi was. It was Africa and Dubai. Yeah, both crazy. Yeah, like what a cool experience.
Speaker 1:Yeah, she talks about it to this day still.
Speaker 2:How'd I miss the call?
Speaker 1:Oh well, you know, you were busy.
Speaker 2:I would meet Dale or golfing, okay, well, um, if you so, if you, to summarize like kind of what we talked about, like that like themes or habits or mindset or um words that would describe how dads can be the most present hands-on Dad from our conversation, that maybe if they could take away kind of actionable, like hey, I learned this about what Kenny said, I'm gonna start doing that. Like what might be some some good dad advice you'd give to improve that relationship with the child think about the end game.
Speaker 1:Being a dad, think about the end game. Um, I always say you know you can, you know you don't want to bend about. You know you don't want to bend, you know you don't want to win the battle. You want to win the war and I think that's where you sometimes feel like you in a battle. But again, the end game is the war. You know you have to just keep fighting for what you believe in and what you want and in the end is going to pay off. So just Just tell the you know the dad's just need to know that. See, the joy in the end of your child, it's, it's, uh, it's, it's the best feeling In the end when the dad that sees that you are fighting for them, you're fighting for them, they, you. That's a great feeling when the child knew you fought for them. So take that knowing that you fought for them.
Speaker 2:That's great, it's powerful, ma'am, powerful stuff. And it's about, I think, dad's, about mindset, my good friend Bert. He always asked me that with what's your end game? Because I think sometimes, like in how high, how a competitive sports is right now For kids, it's so easy for parents to get wrapped up like do I got this training it on this team? Are they going to this camp, that camp? Versus what happened to like does my kid show up on time? Does my kid shake someone's hand? Is my kid Nice? Is my kid go open the door for a elderly? Does my kid like why are those things not celebrated, you know, and so I think sometimes end game for me is like the character you know okay, characters always Be getting everyone, everyone.
Speaker 1:You know you, you are, you judge by your character.
Speaker 2:That's right. Talk to us about your foundation and how can people learn more about it.
Speaker 1:Well, we have a foundation that I started with another business guy out here Myself and other major league baseball players Retired and it's called still got game foundation. We named it after staying Even though we're not still we're playing baseball right now we still got game and we give back to the underserved communities in you know, free camps and then we do financial literacy To kids because a lot of times these kids don't have an opportunity to even see Baseball players or even hear from them, but have an opportunity to either take take a camp at free, all free and and financial literacy just to get them to understand that you know their finances and how Start, start now, you know to build, you know financial wealth for later. You know, if you don't start now, who knows when that's gonna happen? But you have an opportunity to start now and we just trying to give Kids who underserved communities that don't get that opportunity. So we just we started the foundation just to give back and again, even though we're not playing, we still got game to give back to the community.
Speaker 2:Love it. What a great metaphor. How can people get involved if they want to, if they think they're inspired by your story? They want to, they want to donate, they want to get involved, they want to support.
Speaker 1:Just go to still got game foundation org and It'll tell all about us and the different events that we're doing and the free camps that we do. We did Dallas, austin, we did Gary, indiana, we did Chicago, we did LA, we did Fort Myers, and so we just doing, and they're all free for kids, you know. So we, we, we, we give our time, we give our effort to give back and we just try to give them knowledge and again, and always say we always have a section Ask me anything, because we sometimes kids, kids are curious. You know we get crazy questions, but we're quite the curious about how we got started, what made us do what we do, and a little stuff like that. We feel like it can help kids, because sometimes that's the question that they have and I can say I grew up on welfare and food stamps and now I made it, so you can too, and that's kind of how we try to push that message to those kids.
Speaker 2:Oh, it's powerful, Love it. Well, I hope there's someone listening that we will make sure still got the still got game foundation or will be linked in the show notes. We will make sure we tag them on all of our social media channels so we can make sure we spread the spread the word. Now there's a lot of kids communities that could Definitely feel the positive impact this.
Speaker 2:I've been involved with nonprofit work a lot of my life. It's super rewarding and this is one that's to get people at your level with your experience, successful major league baseball player, and your, your peers, to do what you're doing. I think it speaks high, high to your character and just give them back and I love this the game you still got game because you do. You got a lot of life left and keep giving it to others to support. So keep up the good work. All right, it's now time to go into what I call the lightning round, which I go completely random. I just ask completely random questions. Show you the negative hits of taking too many hits, not bong hits, but football hits in college. Your job is to answer these questions quickly and, I hope, to get a giggle out of you. Oh Okay, are you, are you ready?
Speaker 1:Kenny.
Speaker 2:All right, let me take a breather.
Speaker 1:True or false, dale favors once beat you in a race to first base false.
Speaker 2:I Already laugh, I lose. I couldn't do out of the straight face, true or false? Dale favors hits of golf ball farther than you. False Dale? I'm not sure Dale, I'm trying, brother, I'm trying to help you out here. If I went into your phone, what would be the one song that your buddies would be like? Wow, kenny listens to that.
Speaker 1:Oh, that's not a. I don't like a spice girls, or hall notes or country.
Speaker 2:Oh, no, nothing, really, no, all right if I was to come to your house for dinner tonight, what would we have?
Speaker 1:We'll probably have. I'll probably cook either either steak or steak or fish with some some some broccoli, avocado and Some chips with some orange, some some some juice or whatever, and some probably some ice cream for dessert.
Speaker 2:Love it. How about if grandma was still with us and you and I went to grandma's house for dinner? What would she want to cook us?
Speaker 1:Oh, man, whoo, she probably want to, probably want to cook some, some collard greens and some neck bones with some okra, fried okra and Some banana pudding. So they put dessert.
Speaker 2:Okay, I, I've. I've when I go to the south either. Atlanta went to Charleston, I had. I had shrimp and grits for the first time.
Speaker 1:Hmm.
Speaker 2:Just could be. Don't get not a lot of place in Seattle. It's sort of shrimp and grits that I've one of the best things I've ever had, and I now my kids are huge chicken waffle fans, like what they go, because that's my go-to. I love chicken waffles Is the best, and why we don't have it more over here from Seattle. It's. It's a.
Speaker 1:It's a ball to go to Bahamas and get some tuna and grits, oh Wow.
Speaker 2:Pretty good. Okay, if there was to be a book written about your life, tell me the title man, that's a hard one.
Speaker 1:What would be the title? Wow, man, you're killing me right now. What will be the time? I don't know what the title would be. Spear speed kills in many ways, oh.
Speaker 2:I like that, let's go. Oh okay, now, speed kills in any ways is crushing in many ways, many ways. Okay, speed kills in many ways. This book now is crushing it everywhere. Dale and I travel Everywhere. Every business travels it's in every airport is blown up. Amazon sell out, they can't get enough copies out. And now Hollywood, your friends at Netflix or YouTube or Amazon Prime, whatever they're gonna make a movie out of it. You are the casting director. Kenny, tell me who's gonna star you in this critically acclaimed, hit new movie.
Speaker 1:Oh, you need somebody fast can play both sports man who can play? Oh man, we got to have an athlete that can do all that kind of stuff.
Speaker 2:We already know it's not Dale.
Speaker 1:Jeez, who can play me? Geez, I think I only me can play me. Oh yeah, maybe my boy Tony Todd can play me.
Speaker 2:Okay, Tony Todd.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But love the Tony. Okay, and then last question Tell me two words that describe your daughter.
Speaker 1:Good spirit.
Speaker 2:Love it, love it, good spirit, well done. The lighting around's over. I giggled more at my own jokes, which is most dads do. I laughed all my jokes. It's my kids give me a hard time. This has been beyond rewarding. I hope we've helped open people's eyes about the challenges single dads face and I think hopefully you've been inspired by how Kenny's working hard to become that that ultimate quarterback leader of his home I Love. I love the foundation work You're doing. I love learning more about you and how you grew up and making that a Chicago, the fantastic major league sees a career you had. I do still have a tough spark my heart as a manor fan. You've made me really frustrated times cheering get from a manors when things you do but I give back or give you.
Speaker 1:Profile. I forgive you know again, I can say my daughter was born in Seattle, so I gotta be something about good, good about.
Speaker 2:Seattle. Actually, last thing I was forgot we got to give love to my 12 year old all-star teammate, david risky, your former colleague.
Speaker 1:Oh risk, yeah, tell him I need some more that money on the golf course.
Speaker 2:I've not seen risky forever, so I've, and that maybe this is the thing that brings us back together. But maybe I got to get him on because I think he's out in Vegas yeah.
Speaker 1:I play with him out there. Yeah, he was supposed to come to the still guy game Foundation golf event we have out there every year but his kid went to the hospital. He heard his wrist or something.
Speaker 2:Yeah, well, I gotta find that when you guys do that and they go make a trip down there for that. Okay, it's December, no, december 10th okay, la yeah, no, is in Vegas, Vegas, okay, is it is already planned, like the dates out there?
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2:Okay, I'll make sure that's linked. We have a poker event as well, so yeah, fun, yeah well, kenny, Thank you so much for spending time and it's been an honor, and I want to say thanks to all the dads out there. You continue to listen. If this episode's inspired you, please share with a colleague, a friend, a family member and Dads out there. Keep doing what you're doing, man. It's an end. Focus on the endgame, like Kenny shared with us today. Appreciate your time now.
Speaker 1:Good Thanks for having me you.