"In a world full of men who love numbers, there was a place for a girl who loved words." Stacy Havener is an award-winning writer, founder and CEO of Havener Capital Partners, and Dunkin' superfan. Find out how she took control of her money narrative to become the main character in her own story.
Want to hear more from Stacy? Listen to her podcast, Billion Dollar Backstory.
You can find more episodes of Common Cents on the Prairie™ on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music, and on our website.
Watch every episode on YouTube, and subscribe to First National Bank's channel!
Follow First National Bank on Facebook
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"In a world full of men who love numbers, there was a place for a girl who loved words." Stacy Havener is an award-winning writer, founder and CEO of Havener Capital Partners, and Dunkin' superfan. Find out how she took control of her money narrative to become the main character in her own story.
Want to hear more from Stacy? Listen to her podcast, Billion Dollar Backstory.
You can find more episodes of Common Cents on the Prairie™ on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, Google Podcasts, Amazon Music, and on our website.
Watch every episode on YouTube, and subscribe to First National Bank's channel!
Follow First National Bank on Facebook
Follow First National Bank on Instagram
Follow First National Bank on TikTok
Follow First National Bank on Twitter
- Betting on the underdogs.
Welcome to Common Cents on the Prairie, a podcast dedicated to helping you demystify the sometimes complex topic of money. I'm Adam Cox, head of Wealth Management for The First National Bank in Sioux Falls. We're a community bank based out of South Dakota. In this podcast, we share expert insights from around the country and stories from our local community to arm you with the tools you need to make better financial decisions. Because the truth is the more we talk about this stuff, the better off we're all going to be.
Stacy Havener has made a career raising $8 billion plus for new and undiscovered funds that has led to an additional 30 billion plus in follow-on AUM. Prior to finding her niche and raising capital, she was an award-winning writer who dreamed of becoming a literature professor. Ironically, her love of words is one of the secrets to her success in an industry dominated by numbers. Growing up the only girl on all-boys soccer teams, it's no surprise she's now a female entrepreneur in one of the toughest boys' clubs around. At the heart of it all, there is one thing Stacy believes in: underdogs. Stacy is the founder and CEO of Havener Capital Partners, a sales and marketing agency that helps boutique asset managers build, launch, and grow funds. Havener Capital is on a mission to level the playing field in asset management by raising $100 billion for boutiques over the next decade. She's also the host of "Billion Dollar Backstory," a podcast that explores why storytelling works in the investment industry and shines a spotlight on the people behind the portfolios. I was actually a guest on the show. It's fantastic. Based in Newport, Rhode Island, Stacy often spends her mornings walking on the beach, sipping a Dunkin' coffee, and listening to 90s hip hop. I hope you enjoy my conversation with Stacy Havener. All right, Stacy. Welcome to the show. Thanks so much for joining me.
- Thank you for having me. It's been a long time coming. Also, I feel like, I mean, I didn't do this on purpose, but I'm really glad that I'm a guest in the new, fancy studio.
- You know, we had to step it up for you.
- Well, I mean, it's just next-level. It's next-level.
- Well, thank you. Appreciate that. It's very moody.
- You're welcome.
- I'm into it.
- It's you. It's your brand.
- Appreciate that. All right, let's start with an icebreaker, why don't we? So on a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate the Dunkin' Super Bowl commercial?
- Let me pause while I have my coffee.
- Because you're not a fan at all, right? Yeah.
- 11. It was amazing. It was amazing. I mean, two seconds on it, why was it amazing? One, they owned their brand and who they are, right? And they personified their brand with Ben Affleck and Matt Damon and Tom Brady, right? And it was funny. I mean, they did everything right. They were like the anti-Starbucks, and it was just so awesome. Also, I need the track suit. I found out there are sneakers now. So the next time you see me, I may not just have the cup. And one other funny thing. I did a keynote speech this week and I talked about Dunkin' as just like part of my personal branding. And I said to people, just so we're all on the same page, I'm aware it's not the best coffee, okay? Like, I'm aware of that, just so we're like, you know, people aren't like, she's nuts. No, I know. It's just my jam.
- Hey, listen, it's all good. We like what we like.
- Yeah.
- All right, Stacy. As we do with all these episodes, I'd like to start at the beginning. So tell me a little bit about what money was like for you growing up.
- So, it's interesting because, not intentionally, money is part of the backstory I give everywhere I go, not just on podcasts that are about money. And so, why don't I do that quickly, and then let me pull the money thread forward.
- Absolutely.
- Okay. So, my name is Stacy Havener. I'm the founder and CEO of a sales and marketing agency called Havener Capital. In my career, I've raised over eight billion that's led to 30 billion in follow-on AUM for investment boutiques against some incredible odds in one of the toughest boys' clubs: Wall Street. Now, on paper, none of that makes any sense. I'm a blue collar kid from a working class town who got the wrong degree from the wrong school. And I'm a woman. I never saw myself in the investment world. I actually wanted to be a college professor in literature. So I was a writer, a poet, a storyteller. And I'll throw this in there - I was also, I won't say broke, but we didn't have money. So I was paying my way through university, and I was going to have to pay my way through grad school. I went to college locally. My high school soccer coach and I stayed in touch. And he ran a billion dollar small cap equity boutique, and he was launching a new fund. So he offered me a job. He said, come work here. I know what you want to do with your life. Come work here, help me launch the fund, save some money, then go back to grad school, get your degree, and you're on your way. I never left the industry. I helped him launch the fund. We raised 500 million in two years, then I raised three billion in three years for a $17 million fund, and so on and so on. And so basically, it turns out in a world full of men who love numbers, there was a place for a girl who loved words. And, you know, for me, I didn't realize, so first of all, I'd never seen money like this in my life. These are really big numbers. And I didn't know that I was doing anything special. Like, I didn't set out to be some fancy capital raiser. I just went to what I knew best, which was storytelling and connecting people with people at a human level, because that's the magic of story. And I think the thread I'll pull forward in all of this for today's conversation is that, you know, money, money is a story. We each have a story with money. Mine happens to be, you know, sort of a thread throughout my backstory, because I was a blue collar kid. I had divorced parents. My mom worked, I was a latchkey kid, We lived in a duplex. I mean, there wasn't anything fancy. Everyone in my family had a job like policemen, you know, they were in the service or electricians. So it's crazy, in many ways, that I ended up where I ended up because it wasn't my backstory. And I think, and I know we'll talk about this, my own story with money is one I'm trying to rewrite.
- Sure. Why do you think you have to rewrite it? Like, was it, did it start off tough? How did you get there?
- Well, I think, I think the rewriting part is because I'm not sure I was living my story. You know, if you think about that thread, and maybe for all of us in some ways, I was a character in someone else's money story: my parents, right? In many ways. And sort of my family's story with money. And I didn't, you know, it's not so, what, I'm 47 right now, and now, in my forties probably, and maybe a little bit in my thirties, I realized, you know what, like, I've got to have intention around my wealth, my money story, and I have to be the main character in it. And I can't live someone else's narrative anymore. And I think I've been doing that, putting unnecessary ceilings on myself or biases about what I'm worth, really.
- What was your parents' money story?
- It's interesting. My mom's story, her father was an Italian immigrant, so right off the boat. And he did well. I mean, he worked, he was a printer, like he worked in, ran cameras for a big printing company, and was an entrepreneur, had his own business. So they did well. When she married my dad at the ripe old age of 18, she went to work and paid for my dad to go to school.
- Oh, interesting.
- So she never went to college. She's worked her entire life. She's also been an entrepreneur for most of it. And, you know, I haven't really specifically talked with her about money, but I think the most relevant kind of parent piece for me is that as we all have, you know, dynamics, there's no family that's not dysfunctional in some way. You know, I have, my mom and my dad married, they were married for 19 years. They split when I was 11. And I have a younger brother. So what kind of happened is my dad was doing well for himself. He was a software engineer. My mom was an entrepreneur. Well, at the time, she wasn't yet, but she was working. And money became, I don't want to say a weapon, wasn't really, it's not that it was a weapon, but it was a way, it was a tool for my dad to sort of get back at my mom, with me, not with my brother. So there's sort of a lot of layers there. So with me, when I needed something, my dad had a saying, which was, "I'll match whatever your mom could do." But he knew that she didn't have that money. So what did I do? I was never like an entrepreneur growing up, but I was a hustler. So I would cut a side deal with my mom, because I was working. So I'd say, mom, how much can you do? She'd tell me, I would match her. And then we would go to my dad with a number. I told him this years later.
- You had your first employee match.
- Exactly. I'm like, this isn't going to work. I know dad has the money, you know what I mean? So you can see like how wrapped up you get, or you can get, or I got, I'll say, in someone else's stuff. So that was a big thread of like, always having to scrap, always having to fight. And that weaved, it sort of wove its way into my DNA. And one of the things I struggle with now is sort of like that underdog mentality and that scrappy hustler cutting the side deals with her mom so that her dad would pay, you know, like that's so much a part of my, of me, that what happens, and I actually asked my husband this question, who am I if I'm not scrapping anymore? Like, am I still true to all the things I stand for?
- My wife and I talk about that a lot. You know, we had, we still have, it's not past tense. We still have a scarcity mindset because of all the student loan debts that I started off our marriage with. And sometimes those scars don't go away. I mean, you get better at recognizing them and say, all right, this is what's happening, this is why, and you've just got to deal with it and just call it out. Like name it, it is what it is. But I'm not sure all that stuff goes away. And it's like a lot of things that I think that we have stacked against us that we've had to deal with a long time. Sometimes those things that are our limiters can also be our greatest superpowers.
- Yes. Isn't that true? And how do you, and how, and I think the trick is how do you make that transition? How do you evolve it, right? In a way that feels authentic and is healthy. Because some of those limiting beliefs certainly are not. So I think the other part of that story, and by the way, I have a great relationship with my dad, and I have a great relationship with my brother, and my mom. So like, there's no, these are not raw wounds, so to speak. But in that, again, like we've got this bifurcation of the family now. And my dad is using money in a way. And so you have me, I'm four years older than my brother. And so the other thing he's doing, and this is more deep-rooted, I think for him, I can't speak for him, but my perception of it is he's a guy's guy. And he grew up in a generation, obviously, where the man was the one that was supposed to work and earn the money, and the woman was not, hence, but oddly enough, my mom was working to send him through school. I don't know. Anyway, so with my brother, it was a different, like his money story, same family, totally different. Because where I was having to cut the side deals, my brother went to one of the most expensive prep schools in the country for a PG year funded by my dad. His one year of PG was, so post-graduate, was more than my entire college career, which I had to pay for myself. So it's so interesting to me how you have one family unit with all these different money stories going on, kids with very different money stories going on. And for me, I think what that's done very much is I very much wanted to prove I was as good as the boys. And it's not that it's a competition, but it's a limiting belief for me around money, that I shouldn't earn too much because I'm not "the one." I'm not the one.
- Interesting.
- But the new story I'm writing, by the way, I am the one.
- As well you should be.
- Preach.
- Yeah, I remember you telling me once upon a time that you're not afraid of failure, but you're afraid of success. I assume that's all part of that same story.
- Totally. Totally. And I think it really does, so there's that piece, that kind of family piece, their story and that ceiling. But I don't want to say I rail against this - I don't. It's not that I rail against successful people, but I certainly didn't come from money. And so, I think, and I don't know if you feel this way in your journey, but like, when you don't come from money and you catch glimpses of the fact that you could be in a new story, in a new narrative where money is more abundant, and you have kids, you sort of are like, well now, you know, who am I, and what's the story that we're creating for our daughter? Because I believe in hard work, and I like some of the difficult things. I'd never wish them on someone, but I think they made me who I am and they've made me gritty, and they've made me creative and, you know, I think a better entrepreneur in some ways. And so if it's a different story now, what does that mean for me, for my husband, and for our daughter? And this is like, I don't have any idea, because I don't know, that wasn't something I knew, I don't know anything about that.
- It's almost a universal struggle with successful people is, you know, what it took for them to become successful, they're worried they will strip that out of their children if they live in a way that is inconsistent with how they were raised. And so that scrappiness, that grittiness, that drive to succeed because you had to, you had to do those things otherwise you would drown. If you take away that motivation from your kids, are they going to achieve the best of their potential or not? Are they just going to live off of what you did? That's tough.
- It's so tough. And even as I hear you saying it, like if I was the podcast host and you were saying that to me, you know, it's like I hear it, objectively, I'm like, okay, you can totally like, that's not going to happen, you know. It just seems like there's a way to fix that. When you're in it, it's hard to see that way. And I probably, more so than my husband, I think I probably tilt more like gangster on the whole thing. Like, I'm like, you know, our financial planner will say, well, what's your plan for Willow's college? Like, we got to figure that out. And I'm like, no, she's paying for that herself. You know what I mean?
- She's on her own. Yeah.
- Yeah. And then I'm like, wait, is that really what I wanted to say there? But it's just so ingrained in me that I think, you know, I don't know what the answer is, but I know that's part of the story that needs to be rewritten.
- Speaking of scrappy, Stacy, how did you pay for your first year of college?
- Oh my gosh.
- Talk about leading questions.
- Okay, this is not financial advice. Is there a disclaimer on your podcast about this? Yeah, this is not financial, talk to your financial planner immediately. All right, I'm going to tell you. This is how I did it. I put it on a credit card. Okay, that's why this is not financial advice. So there's two, there's a few, you know, sort of bullet points on that. Obviously, it wasn't a super expensive school because I was a college student, and I was working like three or four jobs. But I got, you know, when you go in the, I think I paid, so I somehow saved, and with my dad and mom, I paid for the first semester, because I was at school, to get the credit card, I had to be at school. So somehow, I had that first semester taken care of, which was not a lot of money. I think the whole year was like four grand or something. Okay. I mean, it was like, maybe it was like eight, but it was not a lot. Okay, so now I'm at school, and I see hanging on the wall, like the advertisement to get a credit card. And I'm like, I don't know. Seems like a good idea for someone who doesn't have any money. So I did that. And then when the tuition bill came due, I was like, oh, I have enough on my credit card. I'll just put it on that. Do not recommend. However, I will say, eventually, I got a scholarship for academics. So it was like, just this first year I was really kind of trying to figure things out. And then I decided the way I was going to pay for it was with somebody, you know, someone else's money based on my work hard and achievement ability there. But I have used credit cards throughout my life. I got really good at, I have a couple credit cards, and I would wait for, I'd get a 0% balance transfer, and I would just move the money around.
- Play the credit card game.
- Yeah, and it's not, so it's not, again, you probably don't want me to say that on this podcast. But that's real, that's what I did. When I needed money, you know who I bet on? Me.
- Professionally, you always like to say that you stand for the underdogs. Is that because you feel like an underdog? Where does that come from?
- 100%. And I think that's why it's difficult for me to not be one. So it's really interesting. I mean, I can get really esoteric on it, but when you think about cheering for the underdogs, which we do in movies and the NCAA tournament, which is coming up, right? Like you love to cheer for the underdogs and the Cinderella stories. But what happens when they start winning? Do you still cheer for them? And I think that's the hard thing, is that the journey is the thing. So when they're fighting, you're cheering. When they start winning or they've won, are they still an underdog? And when I, so again, like these are the types of things Eric and I will talk about when we're on a walk or something. And he's like, no, an underdog is like a vibe, it's not a status or a level. And I get that, but intellectually, it's hard for me to square.
- I get that.
- I don't want to be an underdog my whole life. That's not the point. The point of cheering for the underdogs is to go from fighting to winning. And I think I'm just uncomfortable. I won't let myself win because then what's my fight? It's like Taylor Swift always writes breakup songs. Well, what happens when she gets married? All her, like, what's she going to write about?
- Yeah, we could find out.
- That's right. It's really hard to write a happy song.
- Yeah. This is really interesting.
- I'm here for the advice.
- I do know that. I want to talk a little bit more about you as a business owner. So one of the things that's interesting about you and your business is that your husband also works in the business. And I have a couple of questions about that.
- Yes, he does.
- The first is just personally, how do you keep business and professional separate? Because I imagine there's got to be a lot of bleed there.
- Oh, it's really, really difficult to do. Really difficult to do for both of us. We don't do a good job. I mean, to be honest. And we're working on it. Like, we're getting ready to go on vacation here for two weeks, which is great. And I want to be able to turn work off. So we have a great team and we are able to turn off. We don't have to check in. We don't have to do that stuff. So that's not the issue. The issue is, what do we talk about? Because, we'll, you know, I'll be in the kitchen doing something, making something, you know, something mindless where your mind is wandering. And of course it's going to go to like, okay, well, what's happening at work and what problems am I trying to solve and stuff? And then I'll just blurt it out, because he knows all this stuff. So it's like, so that client, you know, like, what are we going to do about blah, blah, blah? And it's so unintentional. It's not like, hey, can we take a half an hour? I've got some things on my mind for work. Can we talk about it? That'd probably be healthier and better, but it's just like, wherever my mind goes, I know I can say it because he's in it. And same for him. Like, in the morning, I'll be getting, you know, my coffee and he, we're talking about the day and it's like, and I have this meeting, so like, can you help me think that through? And it's like, okay, no, it's like 6:00 a.m. You know, I don't want to do that. So it's very challenging. So on vacation, this is like an accountability partner thing here, I'm telling you this. I want to try turning my phone off. Off, when I arrive. And then I sort of have a thing where I check in on Wednesdays and I'm going to turn it on on Wednesday, and then I'm going to turn it back off. And I'm going to see how that goes for the first week. Now, that doesn't mean that Eric and I aren't going to be talking about work. That's another separate topic. But the ability, you know, I think there's two sides, I would say. It's healthy to be able to shut it off, and you need to. And the flip side of that is one of the greatest gifts of my life is being able to build a business with my husband. And so to like not talk about it would be disingenuous and not authentic because it's a joy. I mean, it's a roller coaster and it, you know, entrepreneurship is not for the faint of heart, but I get to build a life and a business with my favorite person, and I don't want to, and to me, that's awesome, and that's fun even though it's difficult.
- Do you guys talk about, I guess I'm going to frame it as concentration risk. So a lot of business owners that we talk to think about the fact that their wealth and their income is tied up in one thing, like, i.e. their business. With both of you working in the business, there's not another separate stream of income. So do you talk about that concentration risk? Does it freak you out? Or is it more like, hey, we're building this thing, we're in it to win it, we're going to do this together?
- Ooh, that's a good one. I don't know that we've ever talked about it exactly how you said that. I think we're both of the mindset of like, we burned the boats. We burned the boats. This has to work. There is no plan B. I mean, I think a lot of business owners feel that way. But to your point, for us, it's like, no, no, there is no plan B because we're both in it. We're both in the boat. There's only one. And so what I am trying to be more grownup about, if you will, is insurance. You know, like, so it's not glamorous, but we need to, I think the way, what we've done more lately is sort of with the help of a financial planner is like, okay, this is fine. You're both in it, it's awesome. However, to protect yourself, let's structure some things so that if it goes the wrong way, you're okay.
- Well, a lot of business owners struggle with investing in anything other than their business.
- Oh, well that's 100% true.
- Yeah, and so that's almost universal because that's, it's tangible, you know it, you're betting on yourself, that's why you did this thing in the first place so you're comfortable with that level of risk. But on the flip side, when you're both in it, that's probably even more important for the two of you to have some things outside of the business as well. So in case things change, things don't go as well, you've got that cushion.
- A hundred percent. And that is very real. I think, again, we're both sort of saying, okay, like, it's kind of like we're picking our heads up a little bit and sort of looking around and we're like, oh, huh, we're in our mid-forties. Probably need to start thinking about, we have a daughter, you know, we need to start thinking about things like it's not just grind and like make it happen. And sort of, we're trying to be more intentional and proactive. And I think that's a good thing. The other piece of that is, at least for us, you become so in it that it becomes its own end game. In other words, like, why are we doing this? What is the end game? You know, are we just going to build a self-managing company and sort of it's for the employees to run? Are we trying to have an exit? Like, why are we doing it? And that, I don't, we are just starting to have, I mean, we've thought about it, but we've never sort of said, this is it. This is what we're doing. This is why we're doing it. And it's time.
- The business should be there to support you, not the other way around.
- Gosh, can we just like mic drop on that? Because entrepreneurs really need to hear that. Because you forget that, it's easy to forget it, because you put your clients first, and your employees first, and the business is like, it can quickly become everything. And that dynamic gets flipped. That is such an important comment.
- So being a founder, as you know, is really tough. Like, really tough. And I know it can be lonely too. And I'm guessing maybe especially true with a female founder. So I'm interested to get your perspective, and maybe your advice, to other female founders out there. Because you've been at this for a while. Like, what would you say to them?
- I would say, you're not alone, even though you feel lonely sometimes. And that's, for me, that was a big difference. Like, feeling lonely doesn't actually mean you're alone. Those are separate concepts and separate feelings. The hard part, to your point, is, okay, well how do I find the other female founders then? And for me, LinkedIn has been a gift for that.
- Well, you're great on there.
- And, you know, and thank you. And that's how we met. It's an amazing, look, it's a networking platform, I get it. Like, that's what it's for. It's amazing on many levels. But to this particular point, I now have friends in my personal life who are women, who are founders, who were like crazy successful salespeople that I just would never have crossed paths with otherwise. And that was an unexpected benefit of LinkedIn. Because if you think about all the stats behind this story, like, how few female founders there are, certainly how few of them are in finance, how would you find each other? It's like needle in the haystack, you know, there's not, so that, to me, is what I do. Like, if you feel like you want women in your life who get you, like that's the thing. It's not that we just sit around and talk about work all the time, we don't. But when I'm talking about something I'm going through personally and it has a thread of being an entrepreneur behind it, they understand that, and my other friends don't.
- Yep. What's been your most impactful money moment so far?
- So professionally, I remember the first time I closed a hundred million dollar allocation. I started to cry when I told our team. And then our team, there was, you know, a lot of men on the team, that they started to cry because I was crying. It was like really just, it was like funny money to me. I just never thought I'd be talking about dollars like that, or be responsible for making something like that happen. Personally, the most impactful money moment. Well, I mean, it's easy to say when you make your first million, but that seems tired. So what I'll say, because I shared the credit card thing, and I've used that strategy of the zero balance transfer in times of, in hard times, there's nothing better than paying it off. Because, of course, that's the risk of credit cards, right? Is that the balance just hangs out there and you can't ever beat it back. And so, you know, I have a list, I have all the balances, and whenever I get a distribution or something, if I'm in that type of a situation, I'm not currently, but I have been in the last five years, writing those checks, like here's, you know, $25,000. Bye, credit card debt. That feels great because it reminds me, like, that was still a good bet. Betting on me was still a good bet.
- Do you have any financial insecurities as we sit here today?
- Oh yeah. A long list.
- How much time do you have, right?
- For real. Maybe a better question, do you have any financial securities? Yeah, I have financial insecurities. I think it's difficult not to when you're an entrepreneur. As an entrepreneur, when you have employees, that's heavy, isn't it? When you realize you've got, you know, 18, 20 people, I mean we're not a huge company, but 18, 20 people whose lives are dependent on you and your business success. That's scary. The biggest thing probably on the insecurity side, and I don't know if insecurity is right, more like unknown, is...goes back to that question that we talked about earlier, which is like, what's the end game? Because I think without that vision of where you're going, it's very easy to spin. Like, you make money, you just put it back in the business, make money, put it back in the business, without really thinking about like, again, like what's the intention? Should we really be doing that? Are we allocating to the right thing even within the business? So that insecurity for me right now is probably more around, not so much like cash flow or things like that, but more about the vision and where we're going, and am I being intentional to get there? Because right now I don't know what it is.
- That makes sense. You know, I think all leaders feel that, whether you're an entrepreneur or not, when you're the person and it's your ideas and it's, you know, you make the call. That weight is a lot and, you know, I think everybody aspires to be a leader and aspires to be at the top of the mountain, but when you get there, you realize the air is thin, it's a bit lonely, and your decisions have real impact on real lives.
- Oh my gosh. Yes. Yes.
- What does money mean to you?
- Freedom. And I'm sure a lot of people feel that way. You know, that's what it, okay, so let me be, let me take that a layer deeper. Money means freedom to me. However, if I really, like, that's what I want it to mean. But going back to the beginning of our conversation and all the sort of stories, maybe not my stories, that I'm a part of, you know, it probably also means something else to me that I'm trying to solve, which is: I'm worthy. You know, because it's a measuring stick. It's a measuring stick. And so, and I don't know that that's healthy, but it's honest. I want it to mean freedom. I know it means freedom. And yet, there is a very real part of me that also my self-worth is wrapped up in my net worth in a lot of ways, and I'm trying to undo that.
- You probably want to feel like you're worth the investment.
- That's right, and like, like I'm worth the investment and that I'm as good as the guys, right? Because that's like a hangover from being young. Like, I'm as good. I deserve it. And that's the story I want to own, and that's the story I want my daughter to own. That there isn't, you know, this isn't someone, don't live by someone else's hierarchy.
- I get that. I'm a girl dad and this is stuff we talk about, yeah. I know you maybe are still working through the vision and what this is all for, but have you laid out any long-term financial goals as far as like going to give back or anything like that that you're working towards?
- Yes, thank you for asking about that, actually, because it will help me clarify it to talk about it with you. So one of the, so I've had a mantra, you know, being a writer, I don't know if you feel this way because I know you like to write too, but sometimes things write themselves in my head and I can't stop that. Like, I have to sit down and write it or it'll just keep going, and it's usually quite good when those things happen. You're like, oh, this is really good. I've got to stop everything. So I've had this little vibe swirling around, which is making millions versus making memories. And that's, you know, my parents are getting up in years, they're coming with us on this two week trip. And that's one of my most favorite things, is making memories. And, you know, I think the millions empower that, but it's, you know, your focus can get tilt, you know, sort of tip too far in one direction. So that's something that's swirling around for me, that, you know, money is a means to memories.
- That's great.
- Yeah. And the other thing is, when I think about my journey, my story, and the fact that I did put my first few semesters of college on a credit card, but then I got a scholarship, and that is something that was, I mean, I don't know what would've happened otherwise had the school and certain groups not supported me, and so I want to do that. And I mean, like, my daughter is lucky to be in a very great private school, which is a whole 'nother podcast conversation as a public school kid. But even that, like, it's expensive, you know? It's also amazing to me the difference in the education. But, like, there are a lot of people who can't do that. And I think about that often. Even, she's in first grade, and I'm like, gosh, you know, I want to help. And we're doing that. Like, we're, we're helping kids even in first grade who wouldn't otherwise get a chance to go to this school to be able to. And I want to keep doing that. I'll probably just kind of follow, like, it's easy for me because whatever she's in, I'm sort of in it as well. So eventually, I'd love to have a scholarship for students, and I'd probably do it, you know, for, I don't know, can you do a scholarship just for women? Or is that like?
- I don't know what you can do anymore.
- So I don't know. I have a vision. It might be illegal at this point.
- I'm the wrong person to ask.
- Yeah, TBD. There'll be a scholarship. I don't know what it'll look like or what it'll do, but hopefully something good.
- Oh, I love that as a goal. Stacy, what financial bad habit would you like to break?
- Ooh. You're going to laugh at this. Okay. No, you won't laugh because you're kind. So I have a, because I'm so rebel, like to my nature, I'm usually very good with my money and then I can sort of reach a point where I'm like, F- it, I want to do this and I'm doing it and I don't care about my budget or what's happening. Like, I don't work this hard to not do this thing. I don't want to say it's a bad habit, but it's a dangerous one, because it's sort of like, you know, F- the world, don't, you know, like, don't tell me what to do. I'm doing this. I work too hard not to. And I'd like to be more levelheaded about those decisions. I don't know if that's possible because I tend to get very emotional about those types of things. Like, no one, don't tell me what to do, finance, budget, you know. But I am trying to be a little, it's not like I'm, you know, totally impulsive. I'm not. It's just sticking to a budget feels to me, as a rebel, like someone telling me what to do all the time. And I can do that for a while and then I just want to flip my desk.
- Well, it depends on the scale. I mean, it's one thing if you go splurge at a store, it's another thing if you go buy a car on impulse.
- Don't worry about that, I don't drive - I love cars, but I don't drive fancy ones. So, yeah, it's just, I think, trying to find, maybe the habit is trying to find, trying to somehow see a budget as a friend helping me get where I want to go and not somebody telling me what to do.
- That's fair. Yeah, that's fair. Two final questions for you. First, what would you like people to take away from your story?
- Ooh. I would like people to think about whose money story they're living, because something tells me we're not all living our story. And that's okay. But, you know, realizing it lets you write your own.
- I can tell you've spent plenty of time with Dr. Daniel Crosby.
- Yes, I have. It's good when you have friends who are PhDs in behavioral finance and former therapists, because when you're really in a bad place, you just call and go, so this is happening. And they go, well this is why.
- Oh, that's helpful to have those friends. Last question, what's the best financial decision you've made so far?
- 100% being an entrepreneur.
- You bet on yourself.
- Yeah. And that's still, if I'm going to bet on anybody, I think this is like a Beyonce song, so I didn't, but like I'm going to bet on myself. And as hard as it is to be a founder, as much of a rollercoaster as it is, and there's days I think it's the worst decision, it's by far the best one.
- No better way to end it. Stacy, this was awesome. I've never had a podcast episode go this far off script. And it's been great. It's been great. Let's do it again.
- Well, I'm sorry, I tend to do that. I apologize. But I have to say, like, when you asked me at the beginning, did you look at the questions? I said no, because I don't like to do that because it's, well, it's just not my vibe. So I hope it was what you wanted it to be. And I hope it's helpful for the people listening.
- Absolutely.
- Thank you for having me.
- Yeah, that's so good. Thank you so much. And I hope you do get the Dunkin' tracksuit and shoes because you're worth the investment.
- Thank you. I'm going to. You'll see me on LinkedIn in the Dunkin' gear.
- Thanks so much, Stacy.
- Thank you.
- [Adam] I hope you found this helpful. If you did, please subscribe and share with your family or friends. If you have a topic you want us to cover in future episodes, send us a note through our website. And if you're at the point where you want an expert opinion on your finances, reach out and we'd be happy to start a conversation. And remember, any comments, insights, or strategies discussed on this podcast are intended to be general in nature, and therefore, may not be suitable for you and your situation, whatever that may be. Before acting on anything we discuss, please consult with your attorney, CPA, and/or your financial advisor.