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Coffee with a Twist!
Coffee with a Twist!
Father's Day Special: Nurturing Meaningful Connections through Effective Communication and Boundaries
Happy Father's Day weekend! Have you ever found yourself holding a grudge, only to realize it might not be worth jeopardizing your relationship? This episode is all about the importance of communication in relationships, particularly with fathers. We share insights on how to be mindful of the way we communicate, especially in today's digital age where technology can easily cause misunderstandings.
Join us as we discuss setting boundaries and managing expectations with the people in our lives, just as we do with our children. We'll guide you through the do's and don'ts of relationships, emphasizing that maintaining boundaries doesn't mean cutting everyone off. Instead, be aware of the role each person plays in your life and keep your circle of true friends small and reliable. Tune in and discover how to nurture meaningful connections and make the most of the relationships that truly matter.
Thanks for listening coffee with a twist.
Email me at: coffeewitatwist@gmail.com
Hey guys, welcome back to Coffee with a Twist. You're here with Madame Balloon, got a little music in the background. I'm actually in my vehicle today, so you will hear some cars going by. I got a little music tunes in the back from the radio, thanks to 97.5. I hope everyone had an excellent week, an excellent day, excellent month, excellent, excellent, excellent.
Speaker 1:So this is Father's Day weekend, so I want to say happy Father's Day to all the fathers out there, or even the people who don't possibly don't have a biological child, but take one of those roles and responsibilities in young lives. So we thank you for being there for your children. Yeah, so today is Father's Day. I'm actually waiting to get my hair washed and blow dried and then afterwards I got to go to Crab 99 and pick up Jason's food. That's what he wants for Father's Day, so we'll make that possible for him. But, as you guys know, my father's deceased, so my Father's Day looks very different than what it used to, but it is what it is. But this is a great time as a reminder to all my listeners.
Speaker 1:If yourself or someone you know is rather holding a grudge or don't have a good rapport with their father, or even mom. You know, for that matter, just, and don't get me wrong, i do know out here, especially the world we're in, there are some situations where not communicating or having your father or your mother or certain people in general in your life, you definitely have a valid reason. So please, in my statement, don't think that I am meaning this for certain situations. There are some situations where it's like you know it makes sense you're not talking to a particular individual, but I say this to say I don't have my father And I wish I did. Of course, i would love to celebrate this day with him and I'm sure I have many listeners on that are listening that agree with you know, possibly with what I'm about to say. I just hope whatever grudge you may be holding is worth it. And the best thing that I could say is if you close your eyes and your phone rung and you got a call that that particular person is no longer here, or even if you got a call with that particular person being diagnosed with a very terminally ill illness, what would be going through your head? What would you wish? Would you wish that you guys didn't spend that time, you know, wasting it on the hate and anger or whatever the case may be. So, just, you know, try to think of things like that.
Speaker 1:I get, you know, individuals can get on your nerves, work your nerves, things like that, but it's always where you can take a step away, take a breath, rather, if it's a week, sometimes a couple of months, even a couple of years for some, but, you know, is it big enough, worth it? So that's the biggest thing Make sure that it's worth it. That way you won't have regret because, as we know, once you're gone, you're gone. There's no making that up. And then you spend the rest of your life possibly some do not, you know with walking around, with that heaviness. And you know again, as you guys know, i'm big on like self-care and mental health and things like that. So you know, mentally, you know that wouldn't be good for you to be walking around and carrying that burden, that load, when you could have just either been the bigger person in a situation or just don't really want to say the word, ignore it.
Speaker 1:But you know, get past it somehow, rather, if that's pulling them to the side and having a conversation with them, you know, the biggest thing to do is to get to most relationships and this doesn't have to be a husband and wife, it doesn't mean it doesn't have to be a romantic relationship. It's all relationships Father, daughter, you know, girlfriend, boyfriend, you know, just in general, just relationships and general friendships, all the different relationships. Typically, when most relationships have its issues or big blow-ups, it's a lot of times when you really think back on it as you mature. A lot of times it's a communication issue and sometimes it's literally just a miscommunication. So I say that to say sometimes that's what it is. So if you could be mature enough to pull the person to the side or point it out sometimes I would like to think majority of the time you could get past it. I do know there are situations and we do know people where it's like they're just assholes and that's just what it is. But you know, communication is a huge deal in all relationships. So just, you know, just know that.
Speaker 1:So I guess today my topic is going to communication without even realizing it. So I want to keep. I want to keep on this communication thing and what I'm saying. So you know, we live in a world today where technology is our communication. So I've been in situations where you send a text message and, depending on how the other person's reading it, it could come across rude, mean, disrespectful, etc. So instead of a person thinking or assuming how they read it is how you meant it, they should ask you, because a lot of times that's the case.
Speaker 1:It's just, it's a text message the way it came across. I mean, you don't know the tone a lot of times. You know we try to put the emojis and all that to help with it, but at the end of the day you can't read it in the tone. Sometimes you can, but it's not like it's the text messages, the way that they're intended to be used. It's not like reading a novel, to where you can grab the language or the or the content that it's supposed to be in. You know, texting is kind of like a shorthand in a sense, and sometimes, even if it's, even if you're expecting to get like a whole book back in the text message, if a person's out and about, on the go, they're, you know, probably very shorthand and it could come across short, you know.
Speaker 1:So we live in this world where we have to. We have to learn to communicate better and express our feelings if we feel that's someone is saying something to you disrespectfully, or or if you felt they're coming off rude or whatever it is, it's worth that. Quick, instead of texting, do a phone call instead, you know? or pull them to the side. Hey, i don't like what you said. Well, what did you mean by that? or you know, or what have you? um, again, i am not saying that sometimes it's. It's not that we're reading it wrong. Sometimes it could be the way they intended it to sound or be. You know things like that. But, um, you know, i'm not sure you know.
Speaker 1:So communication is typically and normally the start and the ending of many relationships. Communication, the lack of communication, the lack of being willing to kind of, i guess, open yourself up in a sense, because I mean, i guess, when, when you do try to open that you know communication, you're kind of in a vulnerable spot, so that vulnerability that comes with it. Um, so sorry, i got to move up a little bit to help this guy out because he act like he don't know how to parallel part. So you know, communication is key, it really is. So you know, i think, if we can keep that in our in the back of our mind when things are going on, or you know what have you you know, i think it would improve a lot of relationships. But to take it a step further, for instance, i speak, i talk to a lot of people within my family, within friends, things like that.
Speaker 1:I talk to a lot of people, um, but even though I talk to a lot of people I hang with, you know a variety of people. I know where they each stand in my life. Just because you see me hanging with someone doesn't mean they are my best friend, doesn't mean that, um, they know even everything about me. A lot of times they don't. You might see me hanging with someone. Quite often you're like man. They must be really close and it don't even be so. It's just for what I am doing or what activity that we're doing together. That particular person is great person for that activity.
Speaker 1:So, um, you know, i say that to say you don't have to, like, cut everybody off just because they might not be your best friend or that you don't feel they're loyal or you don't feel this or that. You can still hang around them, but just know where they are in your life, know what to expect of them, know, you know what I mean. Don't put high hopes into someone that you know will let you down. Don't put high responsibilities onto someone that you know is not responsible. It's almost like your kids, like you know your kids When you're a parent. You know the do's and don'ts that your kid would do when they're away from you. You know which kid of yours is the more responsible one. You know which kids of yours is the more mature one.
Speaker 1:So if you can do that within your kids and I mean and again you can't disown your kids, right. So you still got to deal with them, but you just know what you can put on them. You know what you can do with them. Do the same with the people within your life. You don't have to walk around like angry or like I don't fuck with them or they did this, or they told my business. Well, guess what? You know what I mean. That wasn't the friend you should have ever told that deep secret to. They were never that. You know what I mean.
Speaker 1:So the same way you sit back, you analyze your children, your pets, the things that are within your home. You need to do the same for the things that are outside of your home. Well, to a degree, if you consider them friends. You start, you know, welcoming them into your home. But you got to know who you can have closest to you and who is the person you call up when you need, like someone to go to a bar with and hang out, or the person to call when you know I'm kind of bored today. I know such and such typically knows what's going on. All right, you know something fun to do. Or even if you have kids, it might be you have certain mom friends that you you like to do certain things with, with the kids and things like that. Like it, use it in your life with your friendships. Use it the same. It doesn't mean you have to be you know what I mean.
Speaker 1:Like businesses, there's probably so many people that walk into a storefront that the owners or the person working behind the counter they don't like or don't agree with some of their ways. But guess what? You're not gonna turn that money away. You know what I'm saying. So you gotta think of yourself. It's very similar. But you know there's some people who are like I just don't wanna be bothered with nobody faking my life. That's it, that's all, and you know what. That's okay too. There's nothing wrong with that either. You can have your bubble small.
Speaker 1:I tell people my biggest motto again, like I just told you guys a few moments ago I talk to a lot of people. I do. I talk to pretty much all of my family members and any friends, acquaintances that I've met that I feel is worth to be around me And in my circle. I talk to them as well If I have something there invited, things like that. But I also make the statement all the time The older you get, the smaller your circle should be, because at the end of the day, you can't have 20 people that are your friends, that you have them all within the same, that you have the same regard for All of 20 of those friends are not your closest friends. You know what I'm saying When I say a close friend, meaning that friend that's your ride or die that friend, that you tell them something.
Speaker 1:It will not get out. No one would know. You know what I mean. You can damn near rob a bank with them and they will won't say a word. You know what I mean. You can't have that with 20 close friends.
Speaker 1:So the older you get, the smaller your true friendship should be. Smaller, for instance, my true friendship is pretty small. I have maybe about five, possibly six, at max six, that I would consider my close, close friends, that if I need it they're right there for me. Like no problem, don't get me wrong with that statement. I said doesn't mean that 10 of my friends that aren't the closest to me wouldn't be there for me, but they would be there for me in certain situations. You know what I'm saying. So it goes back to knowing their place.
Speaker 1:Like people say how you have, they make the statement seasons with friends and things like that, that you know they're there in your season. Well, i feel it should just be like that all the time. You know where they place in your life And you know you work your way around. You know this friend is in this corner, this friend, but I'm friendly, but you're friendly with all of them, but you know which ones are your true friends, which ones are your non-loyal friends, et cetera, et cetera.
Speaker 1:But you know I went so far into communication. But communication is good. I mean you know everyone knows that. I mean typically the most when you go to see a counselor, anybody, typically everyone always says communication and it's so funny. We throw it around a lot, we say it a lot, we say it a lot to people, but it's like one of those things we don't do well, we do not communicate well. You know, that's how we end up having unhealthy relationships because we're afraid of the conversation, we're afraid to communicate, or we assume for the person. You can't assume what someone's gonna say, do, act or what have you. You need to just know what you can do.
Speaker 1:If I have a problem, i'm that way I wasn't always that way where I'm like I'll pull you, like on a job. I remember one time this was a while back, not where I'm working now, this is a couple of jobs ago And my boss at the time like I don't know what happened, but she was acting real weird towards me and like only would shoot emails and normally she'd come to my desk, things like that, and then she was just getting real like snippy. So me personally, look, you might be my boss and all, but I can't work like this because most likely it was a miscommunication with whatever you think you're upset about. So you know, i shoot her an email and I'm like you know, hey, i'm not sure you know what's going on. Things been seeming a little off or weird, like you know, can we have a phone conversation And, if needed, you know we can pull HR in, because I don't know what's going on and anyone knows, and you know the workforce, especially when it's your boss acting, you know, strangely, you got to protect your job to a point, so, anyways, so you know I pulled her. She called me with an action. Hello, yeah, you wanted me to call you like real and I'm just like you know.
Speaker 1:I was like, yeah, i'm just trying to figure out what went left, like what happened, come to find out. She's thinking that I said or did something that didn't even happen. So, however, she got the story back, made it appear like I was the one saying something. So I told her point blank what went down. Oh, rather, she believed me or not, i really don't care, but I definitely wanted to clear the air and I told her. Then I was like you know if this is going to go further, you know if we need to take this further and go to HR, i'm fine with that, but I just want you to know, like I really don't know, what it is you're talking about, because that's not what happened. You know, explain it. And we were good after that We really were. And you know I'm not saying just because you always pull the person up that it works. I'm not saying that because we know people are people and again, she might not even believe me and could have kept the attitude Fine, whatever. But at least I know I did my part of pulling her and trying to fix the problem.
Speaker 1:So this is a beautiful Range Rover right here. It is gorgeous and nice and shining. That's what I'm talking about. But you know. But, guys, happy Father's Day. I'm going to get off here because I can ramble, ramble, ramble. My hair appointments at two is 148. So I want to walk in there a little early, but I haven't been on here in a while.
Speaker 1:I'm going to try to do another one because I want to tell you all about Jason's graduation and, just you know, keep you guys posted on some of the stuff I'm doing for my real estate. I'm actually thinking about doing a real estate podcast. I don't know What do y'all think I might do that one as a live, like a video thing, interviewing like contractors and things is kind of like something I was looking to do Like interview people who you know do home repairs and stuff and like get them to talk about. You know a particular project or so I don't know Something. I don't know what y'all think about that, but yeah, but yes, happy Father's Day. And please, i hope you guys listen, you know, put any grudges to the side that can be put to the side and, you know, try to enjoy this day. But, yeah, i hope you guys are having fun with your fathers and you know, the dads, the husbands, all that. But yeah, thank you, thank you, thank you for always listening, listening to even my old stuff and my rambling. I really do appreciate it, and that is all I did not.
Speaker 1:I had coffee earlier. Right now I'm drinking a spug. I can normally tell y'all what I drink, so I apologize. Right now I'm drinking a sparkling water. It's the Strawberry Lemonade. I get these at Sam's Club. They come in a case, so it's the member mark brand of the sparkling water zero calories, zero sugar. I do not get them because they're zero calories, zero sugar. I just really like the taste of them and they so happen to be So. But I probably really do need to start figuring some things out, because here lately, losing weight and shit has been very hard. So that's another journey that I'm on, but we'll be talking about it. But yes, thank you guys for tuning in, until next time you're here with coffee with a twist with Madame Belu. See, i can't even with Madame Belu. Enjoy the rest of your day, guys.