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Coffee with a Twist!
Coffee with a Twist!
Coffee Talks: Navigating Relationship Dynamics and Personal Growth
Ever wondered why your coffee tastes better when you're sharing it with someone? It's not just about the brew, but also about the company. Join us as we traverse from sharing light-hearted banter about my personal coffee preferences and home renovation project to deep, meaningful conversations about relationship dynamics. We'll even be opening the floor to listeners who want to guest star!
We've all experienced it - that one-sided relationship where you feel taken advantage of. But how do we navigate such tricky terrains? We'll be getting into the nitty-gritty to help you recognize when the balance might be tipping and what you can do to restore it. We'll also delve into the nuances of a relationship where one person is stronger - does the stronger partner always have to carry the weight, or can the weaker partner step up? Tune in to gain some thought-provoking insights that could lead to positive changes in your relationships. Trust us; this is one conversation you don't want to miss.
Thanks for listening coffee with a twist.
Email me at: coffeewitatwist@gmail.com
Hey guys, welcome to Coffee with the Twist. You're here with Madame Belu, got a little music in the background. Hey, I'm in a good mood, right? Alright, guys, turn this down just a smidget so we can talk. I hope everyone had an excellent week. I hope you guys got some excellent plans.
Speaker 1:I just want to thank everyone again for their support for listening to my podcast and my rambles and probably some repeats, things like that. I do see weekly and monthly updates through the company that my podcast is through of statuses and things like that of people that are listening. Where they're listening from. It's all over. I think I did a whole episode on that a while back. If you guys want to listen to that, listen to some stuff that I put on there about areas that people were listening. I was like, wow, it's so amazing. I'm just really thankful that you guys appreciate my hobby.
Speaker 1:Again, I know I'm not as polished as some of those podcasters. I kind of just winging it using my phone and microphone, talking about whatever really comes up in my mind no politics, as you guys know, just talking regular conversation you would have with friends over certain family members, things like that, because we all know Not all topics can be brought up with everyone. So even just the regular ones, like we do, you got to know the temperament of certain crowds and certain people. But yeah, I just really wanted to take a few moments to thank you all. Even though I get on here and I like to talk, it's really nice to have a following. I am thankful. I'd rather if I get 10,000 followers or just 10 followers, it doesn't matter. I'm just thankful for my followers, no matter what that number is. So thank you. Thank you for sharing. Always feel free to reach out to me.
Speaker 1:Typically in my podcast episode descriptions has my email address. You guys can always email me. I always encourage even topics to talk about. Now I have a way that I'm able to like, let's say, if you want to be a guest star on my podcast, guys, I have a way I can email you. I'm a link and we can do a screen call and I can record it.
Speaker 1:So I am evolving a little, not a lot. I'm still trying to just stick to simplicity. That's kind of why I'm different than others to be polished. You know it's a lot of steps to keep up with and I know me I don't have that type of time, unfortunately, I would love to but I just don't. I'm honest, I don't have that type of time. As you guys see, sometimes just doing this regular phone microphone to record and get to you guys takes effort for me. So I'm involving, but not too too much. But yeah, if you ever want to be like a guest star or something, co-host with me with some topics and things, I would love that. And again, I have a way of doing it outside of just Zoom.
Speaker 1:So please feel free to reach out Coffee with a twist at gmailcom please, you know, and the width is just WIT, it's no H on it and check in my episode description. It will be there. It's in most of them. I will double check today and make sure they're in all of them, but just go to one. I know if you go to the older ones, they're definitely there. Just look for my email address and email me. I do check it. I don't check it daily, but I do check it like weekly and I can, if you share your information and stuff with me, just like your name, email, we can get something going and we can, you know, have a conversation and I think that would be really cool to like be able to put some of my listeners on. I wouldn't mind at all, guys, but yeah, so definitely, thank you. I wanted to take that five minutes to thank you guys.
Speaker 1:So today I am drinking some coffee. I just took a sip. I'm drinking this new brand and, guys, sometimes when I don't say a name of something, it's not that I'm trying to gate keep because I don't. Again, I've been podcasting for a while, but I'm still kind of new to it, so I don't know how I can just throw around names. But I'm going to put this disclaimer I'm not a representative of this company. I'm just telling you all the brand that I'm drinking I don't know how to pronounce it, it's like called Moz M-A-U-D-S.
Speaker 1:They haven't been around very long, just a few years. I recently started drinking them, a couple of months ago. It was actually a sale and I was like, let me try it. It looked pretty good. I mean they're more on the pricier side I would say mid to pricy, mid to high end price, but it is, it's good. So on prime day they were having some sales too. So I went ahead and brought some K-Cups of it in the grounds as well.
Speaker 1:Lately I've been doing more of my use of my K-Cup part of my Ninja Coffee Maker, just cause it's quick and easy if it's just me drinking coffee and I'm trying to limit my coffee intake, cause y'all know if I make a pot I'm drinking the pot I'm trying to like. This is a good way to help me, you know, not drink so much of it. You know I'm really trying to do more of my water intake than coffee intake. I guess is what I'm trying to say. But but, yeah, but anyways, you guys will hear my dog here in the background as well.
Speaker 1:I'm getting my floors done. Today is staining day. So he came in, he sanded them down. He had to sand them, you know, three different times with three different grits of sandpaper, and then a final smooth, which was the fourth, smoothed all of that out and then today was is staining, he's gonna stain. Put the clear coat, at least one coat of the clear coat then come back Monday Coffee's good. Come back Monday and do the quarter panels and put down the second coat of clear and we should be done. So new flooring's going on. So that's what we've been doing this week.
Speaker 1:Last night I stayed up for a little bit just getting all the dust and stuff off as much as I could. I feel like I'm gonna be dusting for a long time but just tidying up and stuff Cause for a little bit I won't be able to like put anything on it yet. Even though you can, you shouldn't. Even though it's like dry, I want it dry, dry. So I probably won't put anything back on my floors till next weekend. To be honest, I know a week might be like oh, it's a lot, but I prefer to just I can wait a week before I really mess around. So what I did last night was like tidy up the kitchen and all that. So it's like not a mess since I won't really be using it. So I just been doing that and like thinking of different ways to redecorate it. I gotta do some repainting and stuff things like that, because, as you know, like when you change one thing, other things, I'm gonna keep the same paint color, just refresh it a little. That's kind of where I'm at and then just look and see like what I can get rid of getting stuff off the countertops.
Speaker 1:I have a lot of kitchen gadgets, as you guys know. You can go back to that episode and listen to that, and actually I need to do a 2.0 kitchen gadget episode of just kitchen gadgets, because I've gotten some new ones. So I won't discuss it right now because I probably will do like a walk through my kitchen with you guys one day and like go through some more gadgets and some gadgets that I want. So I won't give it all away here, but one topic I did wanna bring up today. I won't keep you guys too long, but one topic I wanted to talk about today.
Speaker 1:So let's say you're a dating, you're in a committed relationship or even a non-committed relationship. To a degree you could be married, you could be unmarried, but committed or non-committed. So I'm just setting the scene. You could also just be, it could be a friendship. So when I'm using this word relationship today, I'm using it in a. I'm using it kind of two ways. One is more targeted. Sorry.
Speaker 1:My dog is like right here like licking, licking, licking, licking, lay, love, stop. She has like a allergy so her skin and stuff broke out and it's like irritating her. So I've been giving her her antiseptic medicine I'm not medicine, but baths and things like that. But anyways, so take a sip of my coffee. I hope I'm not getting sick. I woke up this morning, kind of like stuffy and a little like coffee, I don't know this temperature change in and out of the heat and then into the AC, stuff like that, but anyways.
Speaker 1:So when I say relationships, of course, with some of the things I'm gonna be saying, it would be mostly in like boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife type, you know situations or friends of benefits, whatever you want to call it. But I'm also taking it a step further to just relationships, friendships, any type of relationships. So let me get started. So my one thing is at what point and I've been thinking about this topic for like some weeks now and I was like I, you know, haven't gotten around to talking to you guys about, or when I've had some podcast, some episodes, but like just wasn't them you know the mind frame or the, you know rushing to do it. I have some time right now.
Speaker 1:So at what point in a relationship is one person, either side, being used more than the other side is using them? Okay, what do I mean? But think about it. All right, let's say you're in relationship. We'll say commit a relationship, let's do it that way. And we all know, you know, when people come together, I mean maybe it's possible one has more to offer than the other, etc. Maybe, maybe not, but at what point? So there's some points where let's say, one is unhappy. At what point? Okay, let's say, you know you're unhappy, they're unhappy, y'all live together, they're unhappy, but y'all just still live together. You know what I mean. But at what point is? Is the? Is someone being used? At what point is the other person that I guess doesn't share the same unhappiness being used? You know what I mean, because when you come together, you strengthen each other. Where one lack, the other has, or what have you? Or you know, where one is weaker, they're stronger. So yeah, at what point during the relationship is it?
Speaker 1:Is it just you using me, in a sense, if you want to leave or if you are unhappy, why are you there? So at what point are you using me? Or what? What point am I using you?
Speaker 1:You know, friendship can be similar. There's friendships you can have where you're like y'all are friends, but the same type of principle. Like you might have grown, so you might not want to hang with that person as much, or you hang with them only on certain things. But at what point are you using them or them using you? And is it fair and guys, I don't know if I'm even saying this right. I hope I am, but I'm hoping.
Speaker 1:Listen, you know making sense. But I have friendships with different people, family included, and there's certain family or friends that I don't mingle with with other families and friends, or I don't even want to mingle with them at all, but like I have friends, like I have this one person that I know, nice person and all. But it's like whenever they hit me up, it's always to like go out or whatever, but it's always like you drive, can you drive, can you drive? You know I'm saying like, so I say that it's like you're cool at all, but shit, what if I want to chill too? Just because I don't drink, like that? Don't mean I don't want to just chill, why do I have to drive? You're the one inviting me out. You know, like shit, like that. So that's like just a small example.
Speaker 1:So it's even with friendships, friends, you know, I feel like nothing will be equal. I mean, I don't think anything in life can be just equal. It just just doesn't work out that way. But it can. You can feel very close to equal, like you don't feel used. Oh, you're only asking me because you know I don't drink and you'll have a ride and you don't want to go by yourself or your other friends have turned you down like that's shit to turn off, like I'm like I don't want to hang with you because shit.
Speaker 1:Say, when you want to go out and chill, what makes you think I don't want to go out and chill, I don't want to go out or I don't want to go out at all, let's go do something else. Why does it have to be a bar? You know what I mean. If you know that I don't really drink, if you care about me, instead of saying let's go here, you'd be like, hey, what do you want to do tonight? You know I'm saying like share that. So that's kind of what I'm alluding to when I'm saying like, when I'm saying like Using, or you know at what point in a relationship are you use? Even in a boyfriend, girlfriend relationship, even if y'all don't even have to be unhappy, you could be happy in a sense.
Speaker 1:But what about in those areas where someone is weaker and you might be stronger? And should the advice be to yeah, you might be the strong one in a particular area, but does that mean that that other person shouldn't even try to Enhance that weakness they have? Should? Should they just stay where it's at because they have the other person where they're strong at it? Like you know what I mean. Like I get, we come together and I get, we Compliment each other, but does that mean that we just stay there? Do we not grow? I guess, is what I'm asking. Do we not grow? You should grow.
Speaker 1:Okay, yeah, I might be weak in this area, but teach me a little. I'll still let you do that because you know we match that way. But why can't I learn that where I'm weak at, can you teach me? You know, since you're strong in this area, teach me. I might not ever be as strong as you in that area, but it'll be nice to be able to hold you down sometimes, because just cuz you're strong and this is the thing like just cuz you're strong Doesn't mean that you don't have moments where you want to not be strong, Like there's moments where you just want to chill, like why can't I be the other, the other side of that, and you take it over for a little bit, like to be with a person or in a relationship with someone where you're, like always the strong one in certain and this speaks even for men, because like us as women I'm guilty of it as well us as women, we put a lot on our males.
Speaker 1:We put a lot on them, even our sons, you know what I mean. Like we put a lot on them, we expect a lot of them because they're men, not saying they don't expect a lot out of us because we're women, but we do. And we got to realize men, as we know, can't multitask. They just know how to do like one thing and that's typically provide to a to a degree. I know the world we're evolving, things like that.
Speaker 1:I'm not saying that the men get a pass, but you got a. I think it's a big deal. You got to learn your spouse To know their triggers and their non triggers and learn how to be able to work around that. Like my husband has a. He's very patient for the most part, but I also know he has a trigger and it's. It doesn't come out often, but you got to know how to approach that. You know. I mean, even if, even if you do have something serious that I want to get across them, whatever, I still got to know how to approach that. So to where his ears are open to listen to me, because you know, as women they feel. We just nag, nag, nag and yeah, yeah, yeah, which may be true, but, um, you know, with relationships, sometimes you want to be the weaker one, you just wanna, when you're strong, you just wanna chill.
Speaker 1:Sometimes, I know for me, like I've been independent, kind of living on my own, for a long time, not with a man or anything, but I just want that break, like when I, when Jason and I, when I had Eli and Jason and I, you know I was able to stay home. That was a nice break. I've never had that break and it's not any fault of his or anything. Like I said, I've been on my own for a long time not saying he hasn't either but it was just nice to be allowed that break, to not worry about bills, to not worry about anything besides just what I wanted to worry about, which was my child. So the thing I wanted to worry about and he allowed me that I mean at the time it was my child and my dad, but still he allowed it to me I've never been in a position where I could just chill and do what I needed to do so that was really nice. So, yes, to a degree he got used, if that's how we want to put it. You know I'm back working now and all that, but you know breaks are nice.
Speaker 1:So the sometimes, just because a person is strong doesn't mean that we don't need help from our partner. So that's why I say, just because you're weak in a particular area and I compliment you, which is fine, but doesn't mean I want you to stay at that weakness, like, at least try to learn to enhance it so that you can help me out when I'm just not feeling it. Because sometimes you just don't feel it and I feel like with men, like, especially like, for instance, like men who have like families, you know, families outside of the final one they built. That also can be a problem. Like, sometimes they look at the baby mama in a sense as like weaker for some reason versus the one that they're with. Oh well, you're strong. They treat you different because they're like you're strong. But that shouldn't. It's not fair and they just don't see that Well, they can't do that. Well, if you make them do it, they have no choice. They got to provide for their kid the same way we're providing for our kid or how I'm providing for my kid.
Speaker 1:So you know, as females I can say this, because I am one you know how to play on the emotions of some males, because they don't know certain things. When it comes to female, female, they don't know certain things, so they literally take it at face value. It's not that they're trying to be disrespect for anything, it's just that they take it at face value. But sometimes being strong and independent as a female is very detrimental to us, because that's how we're just looked at. Oh, you got it, you can handle it, you can this, and it's like, yeah, I can, but why do I have to? So you know this. I'm speaking to you men, and I'm not saying men don't have similar things.
Speaker 1:But really, with women, I've noticed with the males, strong women most men, you know, of course, are intimidated by, but the ones that dare to be with them, they definitely use that strongness and it's nice. But I feel like you guys also put a lot on us and don't try to take a lot of that off of us so that we don't have to be so strong. You just use it. While they're strong, they can handle it, they can do this, they can do that. Yeah, we can, because we have no choice. So it's like you guys, you know.
Speaker 1:So for, at least for me, it's nice to be with someone who is strong as well, to where I can be in a sense, like even though I know how, but I can be in the background of certain things because he takes it on, which is great, which is nice. But I mean we still have areas because, like with my son, like he knows I'll do any and everything for my son. That's like a no-brainer. He knows my son will be A-okay and I get that. But it's like, dude, I still need my breaks, I need to stay fresh. Being, the fact, special with my child.
Speaker 1:As you guys know, he has like a special, he's special needs in us. He is, I mean, that's just what it is. He has a speech delay and with his speech delay it delays other things as well. So you know that's a struggle, so it's, and you know, with his comprehension which don't get me wrong a lot of this stuff has gotten better, it's getting better, but it's a chore, it's a lot. It's not like, yeah, I get, he's four and some four-year-olds can sit there and chill and this. My son can do all that too, but you know, the communication piece is a huge barrier for us.
Speaker 1:Being out and about in the world doing things, his comprehension, his listening skills, things like that we struggle with. So going out and about with him, depending on his mood, can be a chore or it can be a great thing. So it's like everything has to be strategically planned and things like that. So like I'm always on, even at home. So it's one of those things where I get I'm strong, I get I probably do an excellent job at it. But I need help, you know, so that I can stay refreshed, for him, to get him you know where he needs to be. I know this is a phase, I know it won't stay forever, but I know it's going to be here at least another year or possibly more. Great, it's been great improvement. But I know we still got a ways to go. So I'm trying not to get burned out.
Speaker 1:Basically is what I'm trying to say. So you know I say this long drawn stories and I've hopped all around guys. I know I have and I'm sure on my next episode I will bounce back into them and things like that. But I know we're coming up on our 30 minutes and y'all know I try not to talk y'all ear off too long because I don't want to lose y'all. But pretty much in summary of this, what I'm just saying is and again, you know these topics I bring up, y'all can discuss them.
Speaker 1:At what point in relationships, you know, is one of the other being used? At what point, when there's strength in a person, is it taken advantage of? How do we overcome that? You know what I mean. Or is it just? That's just how it is. You know what I mean and that could be the answer, just how it is.
Speaker 1:You just kind of know when to back away, like, for instance, my friend I was telling you about. I back away from them and they'd be like before I'm like, oh, yeah, yeah. And then you know just a respect of time and things like that, is that of me going. I'd be like, nah, I'm good, I don't go. You know what I'm saying. So, like part of it, you have to be responsible as well for the things that we, that you do. But you know, I don't know. I mean I guess it's not a problem if the other person has no problem with it. I don't know. But again, it was just something on my mind, because we all, we all get used and we all are users. Rather, if you want to be or not, that's just kind of how the world goes around it's, I guess, at the end of the day it's up to you how you deal with it and what you do with it.
Speaker 1:But I'll end it there. We're right at close to 30 30 minute mark. I don't want to talk y'all ear off because y'all know I can, but anyways, hope you guys have a good weekend ahead. A summer's slowly winding down, so I hope you guys get any last minute vacations and things like that in. I'm telling y'all that and I haven't even done it, but it's all right. It's all right. We're doing other things, so it's definitely okay. But yep, Thank you guys for listening and tuning in with bad on blue. You were here with coffee with the twist, and thank you guys so much for listening and staying faithful to my podcast. It is definitely, definitely appreciated. Until next time.