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Coffee with a Twist!
Coffee with a Twist!
Is Sharing Caring? Unpacking Lessons for Kids
Join us in this engaging episode of "Coffee with a Twist," where we dive deep into the realities of parenting relationships and the intricate web of sharing among children. As we sip our favorite brews, we unravel the challenges that come with maintaining friendships for our kids and ourselves. It's fascinating how friendships evolve as we transition from childhood to adulthood—and how they shape our understanding of connection and boundaries.
Delve into the conversation about whether the old adage "sharing is caring" truly stands the test of time when it comes to raising children in today’s fast-paced world. We reflect on the implications of teaching kids to share and whether that ideology creates a sense of obligation in adulthood. As we engage with personal stories and anecdotes, we provide insights into nurturing self-awareness in our children, emphasizing the importance of knowing when to say no and respecting personal boundaries.
Expect a warm and relatable discussion guided by the joys and trials of everyday parenting, peppered with practical advice you can carry into your family conversations. Whether you’re a seasoned parent or just starting out, we hope this episode sparks thoughtful dialogue and introspection.
Don’t forget to subscribe, share with your friends, and leave a review! We love hearing your thoughts and experiences, so join the conversation and let us know how you tackle the challenges of parenting!
Thanks for listening coffee with a twist.
Email me at: coffeewitatwist@gmail.com
Hey guys, welcome to Coffee with a Twist. You're here with Madam Ballou. It has been a while, oh my goodness. I'm not even going to apologize because you guys are probably like, you've done that before and you're absolutely right. I've been wanting to get back into this groove of getting out my episodes, but it just hasn't happened. And but I'm, I'm trying, y'all I'm trying, so hopefully I can start this back up. It's something that I really truly enjoy, as you guys know know that have been following me for a while. I do this because, one, I like to talk and, two, it's just a nice stress reliever get you away from that day-to-day hustle, just something. So I apologize. I hope you guys and I have seen that people are re-watching my old stuff, so that makes me very happy. So I'm hoping I can get you guys some new stuff out. It just time. You know it's been busy, but we're in 2025. Shit, we're in March. I didn't even put something out in January, guys, and normally and it's on my vision board you already know I'm going to talk about a vision board. It's on my vision board to start this up. So I guess we're here. So I have no choice but to push forward and do my best. I just ask you guys to bear with me.
Speaker 1:So much has happened in the last year Some good, some sad, just different things within my life and hopefully I can touch on all of it throughout several episodes. For if you're new here know this is kind of more. I don't get into politics and things like that. It's more like this is more of like my thoughts on just regular life events. I try to keep this like a light podcast just to get you away from the news and stuff. I might do something like I might hear about like certain comments and things that might ask your opinion, or sometimes just kind of conversation topics that you could take back to your family and friends when you guys are sitting around chilling. Or if I see something cool, like for instance today on the Sherri Shepherd show, I saw like it was just a question like should you charge your kids rent if you know if they're over the age of 18? Should you charge your kids rent if they're over the age of 18? So I might throw a question out there like that, just like food for thought, and give my opinion on it. But I don't get into nothing deep like politics and what's going out in the world even though we know what's going on. It's a lot of news outlets and social outlets that can provide you those type of topics. I just have no desire of getting into those.
Speaker 1:You know, I talk about different experiences investing not investing like on who to invest in, just the general, like stuff that maybe I've done without giving names, just like ways of saving money, just different things that I do day to day that I know works for me. I talk about things like that and of course, this is coffee with a twist. So I typically, when I'm on here, have a cup of coffee. Or, if you have a twist going on with it, you may have a coffee with some Kahlua or something in there a little shot of something Mine this morning doesn't have anything in it. You may have a coffee with some Kahlua or something in there a little shot of something Mine this morning doesn't have anything in it.
Speaker 1:I elevated my coffee bar at home. I got the coffee syrups and things like that to make it feel more like a coffee shop instead of spending five to ten bucks on coffee. So today I have my brewed coffee that I have in my little ninja coffee maker. I have a lot of ninja products. By the way. No, I'm not sponsored by anyone, so I'm not saying that to say, oh, I'm sponsored. I'm not, I'm just giving my opinion there.
Speaker 1:I brewed my coffee and then I put some two squirts of vanilla, the skinny syrup and a little bit of the Dunkin' Donuts extra, extra creamer in my coffee that I brewed was Dunkin' Donuts as well, was Dunkin Donuts as well. And, um, I buy these like little coffee cups and I also buy like the cold brew cups as well. Um, the disposable just makes me feel like you know, like I went to a, a coffee shop, you know just, it gives you that illusion because I think a lot of times when we don't want something that we have at home and we go out and buy exactly what we have at home, it's more of the presentation of it. It just you know. So I do little things like that. I remember my one friend. She would make her food and things and she'll keep the carryout trays and she'll put it in there like carryout bowls and stuff and for some reason, mentally it gives you a different feeling. I don't know why it just does so. It makes you feel like you had takeout even though you made it at home. So I try to adapt that here at home as well, and it does. It makes a difference. I guess it's just our psyche.
Speaker 1:So that's the coffee I'm drinking today. I also I haven't talked to you guys in a while, so if I'm repeating, I'm sorry, but I don't think that I am, because it's been a while since I've been on here. But I do coffee, regular brewed coffee. And then one of my co-workers turned me on to mushroom coffee and I have to tell you I mean, I'm sure you guys have been seeing ads and stuff about mushroom coffee. So if you've tried it and don't like it, it could be the brand. I have to say there are some mushroom coffees out there that just don't taste good. So she turned me on to Everyday Dose is what the brand, and I've been doing that. I subscribe to it monthly and it gets delivered and cold brew. You could do it cold or hot, you know, or you could even mix it in with your regular coffee, you know, because it has a lot of nutrients and vitamins and supplements in there that are helpful either way. So you know, drinking it just for the supplement of it is, you know, good. So what I do? Because I love the taste of coffee in general I normally brew in the morning and then at night sometimes I want a cup of coffee and so instead of doing decaf or anything like that, I might do the mushroom coffee.
Speaker 1:A lot of times you can have the mushroom coffee hot, but I actually prefer it cold. So that's when I do where I put it in. I do still put it in like some hot water and I take my frother and mix it and stuff really good, and add my like creams and sugars, what have you, and pour it over ice and it's actually really good. I like it better cold than hot. Could be psychological. I like it better cold than hot. Could be psychological, I don't know, but I just feel it tastes better cold. It doesn't taste bad, hot, just different, because I guess my mind is coffee. It does taste slightly different than coffee. I would say it's between like a coffee taste and a hot chocolate taste, and I don't love hot chocolate as much as I used to. So that's probably why I don't like the mushroom coffee hot but cold. Oh my god, it's freaking excellent.
Speaker 1:You can put some um, caramel, um syrup, you know, around the, around the uh cup, put your ice in there, blend it up and then perfect. So, um, if you haven't tried it, uh, or if you've tried it and it was potentially a different brand, you just couldn't get with it. But you are trying your hardest, maybe, to get off of coffee or to have a drink. That's, you know, a little more beneficial. Try Everyday Dose and you know that's a brand that I've tried, that I can tolerate. It's definitely very tasty, in my opinion. I've even had some coffee, non-coffee drinkers tried and they enjoyed it.
Speaker 1:So, you know, definitely give that a shot and you're kind of taking care of yourself in the interim as well, like you're, you know, giving your body some nourishment and some supplements, which isn't, which isn't a bad thing and, if I'm not mistaking, they actually you can pay for it if you do, if you do, everyday dose. I guess they've been approved to align as like medical, so or like a medicine in a sense, um, organic, whatever you want to call it. Um, I believe they take um HSA, so your age. If you have a expense account, they would, um, you would be able to pay for it on there, which is amazing. So give it a shot, um, so that's something I've been doing for about, I'll say about a year. So that's what I say.
Speaker 1:If I mention it before, I apologize, all right, I don't even know where I want to start. I don't even know what I want to talk about, because I have so many different things and different subjects. But one thing I'll talk about something a little more recent. So you know and I think I spoke on this before about like you, you know, especially when you have kids, things your life just changes when you have kids. I mean, it's just what it is, even mentally. You, when you're maybe having kids, you're like, oh no, life won't change. Life changes a lot and you never know. You even imagine like, oh, my kid's going to be like this and that I'm going to be this and that or I'm going to be this type of parent. You have your child. You don't know what you're gonna get.
Speaker 1:You know you gotta remember you have a personality. Your kids got personalities and each kid has a different personality. Then your spouse has a different personality. It's all different and you gotta make it all work. And you know, and sometimes you find yourself where you know you and the kids get along, but maybe you. So let me back up. So I find myself where, the older I'm getting I have talked about this before, touched on it anyway the older I'm getting, the less bullshit I'm willing to deal with. That's just point blank.
Speaker 1:Um, you know, as you get older like think about when you're in middle school and you're in elementary school, middle middle school, even high school you have so many friends, you know. Then, when you get to college college I feel like, is that sweet spot where you start learning how to shrink your circle you start learning people will betray you or be disloyal, whatever it is. You know, you just, or just you know you got a smaller circle. I'm that person that have I have a small circle. I know a lot of people, I talk to a lot of people, but overall my friend circle is tiny, very, very tiny. So, and with having kids, you know sometimes your your circle, not so much that it expands, but you might attempt to expand it and open up your circle a little bit more because kids like to play together and stuff.
Speaker 1:But you get to a point where sometimes the kids may get along, but you and the parents may not get along so much. You know what I mean not get along so much. You know what I mean. So you get to that point where you're like you know I get the kids get along, but you know we just say flowing. Or if you know you try to talk to that other person. You know the other set of parents, you know express whatever it is you're feeling. If they're not feeling it, or you know not willing to change, or whatever it is the situation may be, sometimes you know you got to just cut them loose and vice versa. Sometimes the parents get along and the kids don't.
Speaker 1:So you know, for me, I'm that person where I don't force my kid to play with anyone, rather, if it's a family member, an outside friend or nothing, meaning what I mean by that is an outside friend or nothing, meaning what I mean by that is, let's say, if, like, a parent wants to come over, mainly kind of, to see me, let's say it's like, oh, we haven't seen each other. Well, come over me and I'm gonna make up a name Mark, you know. Oh, yeah, sure. But let's say, like my son doesn't really care for Mark and he wants to go upstairs and play. I don't. I know it may sound rude, but I don't force my child to be like go play with that Mark, get it with Mark. You're like no, if he doesn't want to, he doesn't want to, you know.
Speaker 1:So it gets really weird when you have kids, because is there right or wrong? Um, as well as you parents on here are probably going to be like, especially if there's any teachers and stuff. I don't even I don't teach my child to share. I know it sounds very mean, but there are certain things that I don't teach Um, but with me not teaching my child to share, I also teach him that others don't need to share with him either. So you are he's. It's not that he's not allowed to share. He can share if he feels like it, but I don't make it.
Speaker 1:You know, like, for some reason, like sharing is like the first thing we teach our kids Like, you need to share this. But the way I see it, as we get older, we still have that. We have that so embedded in us that even when we get older, we still have that. We have that so embedded in us that even when we get older, I feel like that's why it's harder for a lot of adults to say no, and by the time they're about to get to that. No, they were so stressed out from maybe people taking advantage of them or what have you. I think it puts a need to make them feel like they have to help others. It turns into that, even though I get sharing, it's like, oh, it's just, but I feel it turns into almost an obligation and I don't want my son to feel like he must give anything that he builds or accomplish because he does not have to. And I say that because I take myself, for instance.
Speaker 1:It took me a long time to start being selfish, if that's what you want to call it, to tell people, no, even if I have it, even if I could share it, it was hard because it seemed like that's what you're supposed to do. You're raised, oh, you need to share. You need to share, I get it, but I don't feel it should be approached that way. So pretty much the way I teach my child is you don't have to share your stuff, but just know if you go to their home or if they come here and they have a particular toy or whatever, they don't have to share with you either. So but if you choose to share, that is fine. There's, you may, but I don't enforce it. I just don't feel it it helps them later on in life because I've I'm learning the more like I learn myself and and become like a better me and try to like filter through my shortcomings or things that I do that might be stressful from helping others, like what made me get to that point and I think it's certain teachings that we teach our kid.
Speaker 1:Not saying I was raised wrong or anything. I feel like everybody, especially in my generations I'm I'm a eighties baby. I'm sure my generation and back that's what you're taught to share, or or or other things. I mean I'm sure you guys can think of some things too as I'm talking that yeah, you know this or that, I was taught to do this or that and yeah, it did spill over into my adulthood to where I was not as selfish. And I'm not saying you have to be selfish in a bad way. Yeah, nothing's wrong with helping.
Speaker 1:If you choose to help and I get you have to put a foundation there to teach some type of help or donation or charity to your kids. I get that. But I feel there's just other ways to do that, even if that means Christmas time. As your kids get older, maybe Christmas time, you might start a tradition where it's like, yeah, you get gifts, but before you get your gifts you need to donate a couple of gifts, or let's. Or okay, you have a budget of $100 or 50 bucks, but part of that you must buy a gift for someone. Um, I'm just trying to think of something for someone else and give it to a needy, or to to a needy family or a person in need, or go help at a food shelter or pass out food, things like there.
Speaker 1:I feel there's other ways to show that you can be charitable with your time than in stealing in our kids to just share everything, which, of course, when you're initially teaching that, it's not you're teaching something good, yes, but I feel like as we get older, that sharing for some reason changes. So the thing and what I mean is, for instance, let's say, one child becomes a little more successful than the next child. I'm just using, like I'm saying, the word child because we teach as a, you know as when they're young, but they're growing, so I'm just using the word child, but they would be more in adulthood when this happens. But let's say, one child is more successful than another child, but they've been sharing their whole lives, whatever. Nothing's wrong with it. But as you get older, as we know, the innocent kids that we raise, their personalities expand, they turn into different people. There's all different sorts of personalities and people out here. Some people feel like they should be given everything and you have some people that rather work hard for it. You have some people that are givers. You have some people that are takers.
Speaker 1:So I say that to say if you're used to sharing sharing all the time, when people are coming at you because maybe you're a little more successful, you feel almost obligated to help because you're supposed to share, right and it that word share turns, it turns kind of negative. So because to me, you shouldn't feel bad when you can't, when you say no. I don't feel saying no should be a bad thing, but I feel like we as humans, the way we teach it, we make it seem like saying no is bad and unfortunately, a lot of times that other side, the person who's wanting whatever, they don't respect your no, they don't respect it. It's like why, or you can't and again, this is just my take on. It Doesn't mean it's so and I might not even be explaining it right, but I know, for me saying was hard and when I did, oh yeah, you get some backlash, you get the attitude. You really see somebody's true colors. You, you know it's one of those things when you are all gung-ho and helping oh, sweetie, I love you. Oh, thank you so much. What would I do without you? But the moment you say no, oh my goodness, can you believe it? And they got in it. It is the worst thing.
Speaker 1:So me personally, I don't feel bad saying no anymore. I really don't. But I had to get to this point and I'm 40 years old and I had to get to that point. But my 20s, even part of my 30s, I was not like that. I wasn't where I am now.
Speaker 1:So I do not teach sharing Me and my husband don't see full eye to eye on that, we really don't because he feels you should share. But I just don't. Sharing is caring is what they say. But there's ways of caring, you know. So it's not that I am teaching my son to be an asshole, it's just my approach on the sharing is different than the traditional way it's taught. I will say that. But also I make it plain to him he knows that other side of they don't have to share with you either. So if they tell you no, be prepared to accept that no as well. You know what I'm saying. Like, same way, yours is a no, you know theirs could be a no, they don't have to share with you either.
Speaker 1:So I don't make it seem like it's one sided. They can, they don't have to share. Um, it just depends, cause I mean I feel we he shares. I mean he lets kids play. Like if kids and stuff play with his toys, he doesn't say anything. I mean he's not playing with them anyway, but he's not like taking them from them or anything. So I don't feel my approach is wrong. It's not like he's a brat in the way, like nobody can touch any of my stuff. He doesn't care. Kids touch his toys all the time. He doesn't mind. Only thing he probably don't let them touch is his game. But even with that, I've seen where he lets them, you know, play with it.
Speaker 1:So you know what are your thoughts? I've rambled and again, anyone that knows, I try to keep these between like 20 and 30 minutes because I don't want to lose anybody. But yeah, what are your thoughts? That could be a topic that you talk about, you know, even if you don't have kids yet, what do you? I would be curious, especially someone you don't have kids yet. What do you? I would be curious, especially someone who doesn't have kids yet and maybe thinking of building a family, like your thoughts now. Love for you to write it down, your thoughts about this now and your thoughts about it after your child is like two years old and you have had play dates and different things like that and have experienced different parents and different kids and I think you might not agree with me, you might really want to share, or you agree with me or go out in the world with these, in these type of situations, meeting different styles of parenting, meeting different kids, things like that, because that's what brings these things out. So I am curious for someone who may not have a kid yet, or even someone who has a kid now, even and maybe in the past, you know, might have remembered what they might have said on the topic of sharing, or if even sharing even came up. So you know, I'm always, you know, willing to hear your thoughts, always. Feel free, you know, to email me the email is in the bio If you want to like, chime in or and I always tell people if you ever want to like be a guest star or you have topics you would like me to talk about, email them to me.
Speaker 1:You know I will definitely bring them up in some episodes. I've had a couple of people do that and so some of my past topics have been from someone else. I've even had a couple of my sister's guest star on some of my podcast episodes. So I definitely look for the interaction. So if you want to ever want to be interviewed or be a co-star, co-host for the day on one of my episodes, let me know.
Speaker 1:I'm really trying to, and need to, grow my podcast because I enjoy this. So, as you guys know, I'm not polished. I do not edit. I don't do any of that. What you get is live. Only topics that I get ahead of time are the ones you guys send me.
Speaker 1:A lot of times I have topics in my head but I never know what I'm going to talk about. So the answer you get is very real at the time. They're not polished, it's just what it is. So I still appreciate all of you for listening to me and my unpolishedness, because I know there's a lot of great podcasts out there that are very clean, polished and scripted ahead of time like prepared. But I just want it to be different. Honestly, those podcasts are great. I listen to them as well, but I just want, wanted to be unpolished and just kind of more real. Well, you know, I would like to keep that up as long as I can. So that's kind of what this podcast is about. It's just literally what it is. I just sit here, talk, ramble, sometimes, like I said, unpolished, unfiltered. What you're getting is what you're getting there. I didn't edit anything. This is what it is.
Speaker 1:All right, fans, so I'm going to end it there. I promise to do another one very soon. Hopefully that's a topic that you guys can take back talk with family, or just hopefully you enjoyed this topic that you guys can take back talk with family, or just hopefully you enjoyed this topic. And, like I said, it's been a while since I've posted any episodes, so I'm hoping, um, I'll have more and I got plenty to talk about, just different topics and bite sizes. You know, 20 to 30 minutes. Don't want to bore you guys. All right, thank you for joining. Thank you for listening, madam Blue coffee with a twist.