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Coffee with a Twist!
Coffee with a Twist!
When You Delay Your Dream, Life Doesn’t
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Fresh snow framed a tough confession: I set a smart career goal, then let a big project push it aside. When a new opportunity appeared, I didn’t have the certification I’d planned to earn months ago. That single delay flipped the script—from confident “yes” to a scramble of midnight classes, rushed exams, and a hope that timing would still work. The lesson is simple and hard at once: when you delay your dream, life doesn’t.
We unpack how to protect your value at work without burning out or burning bridges. I share the arc from near-foreclosure and dead-end roles to earning a master’s degree, doubling income, and learning to set clear boundaries—stating PTO, keeping scope sane, and declining off-topic conversations that erode respect. We explore how to turn any job into a ladder: use training budgets, align skills with long-term goals, and treat your calendar as a contract with your future self. When you hold your standard, people follow it.
You’ll also hear a practical system to beat procrastination: anchor goals on a vision board with dates that matter, break them into weekly moves, schedule study blocks like executive meetings, and track progress with visible wins. We talk about personal definitions of work-life balance, whether you’re caring for family or protecting solo time, and why consistent, high-quality output pairs best with firm boundaries. If you’ve ever traded your goals for a “temporary” crunch, this story is your nudge to recommit.
If this resonated, follow the show, share it with a friend who needs a push, and leave a quick review telling me one boundary or goal you’re locking in this month. Your “yes” starts now.
Thanks for listening coffee with a twist.
Email me at: coffeewitatwist@gmail.com
Note: I don’t own copyrights to any music you hear in any of my episodes.
Hey guys, welcome back to Coffee with the Twist. You're here with Madame Ballou. Hope everyone is enjoying their start of the week, had enjoyed their weekend. In my location, we had snow. I love snow. Fun fact about me. I love snow. Of course, like everyone, don't enjoy like going out in it in the sense of like having to rush around, get to work, things like that. But snow is beautiful. Least maybe my perspective. I feel like when I was a kid, you would see snow a lot more. Like I felt like every winter you got a couple of snowstorms. Versus now as an adult, I feel like some years you go without a snowstorm at all. You might just get a little dusting, or you know, maybe one or two inches, maybe even four inches, but nothing blizzard-like, you know. Um, or where you're, you know, getting, you know, 10 inches of snow, or you know, it just seems different now. So while I'm recording this, I'm actually looking out my back window, you know, seeing the snow. And I mean, it's it's just gorgeous, and you see the deer and the birds flying around, the trees are bare. Um, I don't know, it's just something very nice and peaceful to it. Um, so hopefully everyone got to stay in and be safe and enjoy it. Because I know in a lot of places it was a state of emergency, so I hope people did what they had to do. Um, I know I'm saying that easier said than done for some. Um, you know, we've all worked some jobs where your manager might be a hard ass and just expecting everyone to come in. Um, I've been through that before once once upon a time in life, and uh wasn't a good experience. Um, you know, we we've all been there where you work a job that uh expects a lot out of you, but in return from the company or your manager, whoever, because sometimes the company has good a good vision and mission, but sometimes the manager is not aligned with that. So that's why I say sometimes it could be even the manager or leader, whatever. Um, but we've all worked jobs where you know they can make you feel like if you took off or if you're don't come in, or if you put yourself or your family first, that you could lose your job, and that's not a great way to feel because you're working because you need the money to pay your bills. And a lot of times when you're working those jobs, you don't make enough anyway, you're still living paycheck to paycheck, and barely that. So um, I I I was that way once upon a time as well, and um it's not a good feeling, and it makes you not put yourself first, even when you know that you should. Um, you know, so even though I'm saying what I'm saying in the sense of like take care of yourself, I I know you you have a choice, it's like this or that, but my only thing I can say to anyone in that situation or in those type of situations, you know, reevaluate and figure out a way to get out of that situation. Um, you know, don't don't ever feel stuck, you know. Sometimes you can take a shitty job and make it grow you. And what I mean by that is even though you might have like not the best leader or best company, you know, always check and see what type of things that the company may offer, right? If it's schooling or something that it can offer you to help you grow. Um, I know for me, I'll take my example, and again, I won't be saying any names or anything, it's not that deep. I'm just you know, kind of talking. I wanted to get on here and like talk about procrastination and things like that, and I'll get to it, what made this come about, but um, I'll get there. But for instance, when I worked in a in a job like that years ago, what I did, I I got the job, needed the job, of course. And I mean, you're talking to a person who I was damn near in foreclosure. Um, you know, it was after the economic boom drop, whatever you want to call it, and um, you know, jobs just were scarce. If you used to make a certain amount, you weren't making that anymore, you just were taking a job. I mean, out of jobs for months and years. Um, so during that time, and you know, I had little whatever jobs, and the one job I was on barely paid anything, but it was a job. I remember driving to and from work, commuting, mind you, with a bad transmission and kitchen rides to work, and I was making like no money, maybe like 28,000 a year with a mortgage, you know. Um, and you know, it it wasn't paying anything because when I moved into my home and purchased my home, it was at a I was making way more than than that. And um, so when that, you know, place uh they ended up splitting off and you know closing part of certain departments, and of course, yours truly was of course part of the one that was closing. But you know, at the time it looks like, oh man, but it actually was a blessing because the thing is even though I was still looking for work, it is you know, it's hard to really apply yourself to look for a job when you're working, especially when you're working in a place where you don't have the freedom of of being off job market back then was different, it wasn't really remote work, so you're like gotta take off and things like that to get to these jobs, and where I was living and places you're applying to, you know, it was a commute, it was time, so it's like you it takes a whole day to go do an interview and this and that, so it was a blessing. So I was able to get a new job, um, you know, making almost double um what I was making, so still not where I wanted to be, but it was more. Um, I got that job, it didn't offer much benefits at all besides health and dental. That's really it. Um, didn't have any like growth potential, things like that. So I got on that job, it was much closer to home. So that right there was a perk. I didn't have to commute. So making more money, benefits weren't the best, but I was like right there at home. So when I started the job about 30 to 45 days into it, I was like, okay, I can breathe a little, I can pay my bills a little bit better. It's better than the job I had, um, not commuting, etc., etc. Found the pros. The cons were no growth, and I knew where I was at financially, you know, I couldn't get where I wanted to be there. So I said, what can I do to enhance myself? So um I said, you know what? While I'm here after I get, you know, um training, you know, know the job better, I'm gonna re-enroll in school and get my master's. So that's what I did after I learned the job. Um, it's pretty repetitive. It's you know, not too much changes, it's just kind of stable. So once I learned my role and could do it well and successfully, I then put my focus on going back to school evenings and weekends to get my master's degree. I said, you know, because I'm like, this isn't where I want to be at forever. And again, I had more things I wanted to do out of my career. And a different career, you know, different path. Remember, you know, I kind of took this path because my back was against the wall in a sense. Um, you know, I was just getting a job, basically. It wasn't career driven, it was more just I needed to survive. So did that, stayed at that place for four years, got my master's in December. I left that job in February, um, making more money. And that was the start of my like getting back on task with my true career and and building my career and getting that experience. And um it was the best thing I could could have done, you know. And even now, um, the good thing to that with working those other jobs where I don't know, like you undervalue yourself, maybe that's a good way of putting it. I have learned to not do that. Don't get me wrong, it's still hard because you still got bills to pay, things like that, but my approach was different. Um, I you know, try not to look so desperate or undervalue myself. So, like even with getting time off, I don't ask, hey, I'm gonna be out on X date. Hey, I have PTO, um, things like that. Like, you have the you have the time. I don't have to ask another adult for permission. Of course, use your own discretion in the sense of okay, do I have is all your work done? Are there deadlines or there are things coming up that you know, a blackout spot where you shouldn't be doing that? And of course, you try to give you know as much notice as possible as well. It's not like you come in today and oh, I just want to be off tomorrow. You know, I didn't do it that way, but hey, I'm gonna be out on the 23rd. I'm you know, you know, I started doing that instead of asking for like permission or approval in that sense. It was more like, hey, this is when I need to be out, I already put it on the calendar, and you know, they're either accepted or deny it. You know, I even worked where you know you felt like you had to tell them why you're gonna be off. Oh, I'm out because of the no, I stopped doing those things. Um, and even though it sounds major, those were just small little changes that I did that made me feel more valuable, and it also changed the approach of how management would treat me. Um you you know what I mean? I don't know how to explain it, but it just, you know, a certain precedence that I made myself. I wasn't um, as well as like I wasn't putting in all the hours and and and going the extra mile where I didn't need to. Don't get me wrong, I'm a strong worker. Um, I put a lot of morale and ethics into my work, but I stopped overextending myself where it wasn't needed. Of course, if there's a deadline, yeah, we're gonna get it done. But, you know, I stopped um hate to use the word caring because of course I care about my job, I care about what I do, but I really put myself first. And if I know I need to be off at three every day for whatever for my home life, that's what I did. I wouldn't, I wouldn't, um, you know, it has to, of course, things come up, emergencies come up with work, but I wouldn't let them feel like they could just work me, work me, work me, just because you know they're paying my my paycheck. So, you know, certain little things can can help you. So my best advice is, you know, if you don't like where you're at right now, I don't care what age you are, whatever, you know, do what you can while being there to enhance yourself if that if you feel it needs enhancement, you know, don't lower yourself. Unfortunately, if you're currently at a at a place and um you are kind of already undervaluing yourself, it will be hard where you are to start showing that value. It will come off that you are, you know, being um what's the word they like to use? Like being combative, or you you know what I mean, because they're so used to you being a certain way. So it's I wouldn't suggest doing it where you currently are. It it's it doesn't land the same, but any new venture that you go out to, I feel that's you know, before you start that, set certain boundaries for yourself. Take what you don't like about maybe where you currently are or an old position and see how what are things that you can do to change to enhance yourself so that people won't come off a certain way to you because a lot of times people treat you the way you allow, you know, even if it's wrong, right, whatever, they treat you the way that you allow. So if you allow them, I mean, I know even myself, I've had um people I've worked with in management and non-management that would make maybe even inappropriate com um comments, not anything sexual or anything like that, no, but just inappropriate topics. You get some people that bring up politics and and different things like that, that's actually inappropriate in a work setting, you know, you know what I mean, or just different topics that maybe are brought up, or little comments made to you, or about someone else, you know, and you just kind of make it nice and you just smile and keep moving, you know. But if depending on how you carry yourself, they'll know, hey, I can't make that comment to her, or you know, depends on how you come back at that. Um, you know, and then don't you don't have to be rude or you're just like you know, not discussing that. So now, like for me, even when politics are brought up um where I work or thing, I either walk away or I'll be like, I don't discuss politics, and that's it. So they already know, okay, that's not a person I can say certain things to, or little jokes for for those topics. Like, I'm I'm pretty blunt. Um, not in a mean way, but you know, I'm letting them know, you know, I just don't discuss it. Bottom line, I don't. So, you know, just try to maybe enhance what you can if you have work in a job where they help um with trainings or or anything that you might want to do, check, you know, check your your benefits and stuff that the company offers you and make it work for you, you know. I think I've talked a little bit about this before, but make it work for you. So, to go into why this is like a topic, and if it's uh a topic again, I do apologize, guys. I put out, you know, throughout the years, I've put out some episodes, and some things do come back up, and that's mainly goes hand in hand with what my podcast is about. I'm just talking about daily life stuff, my opinion, my opinion, my viewpoint only. Um doesn't mean it's right, wrong, and different. I'm just talking, literally. This is just an outlet, and I just talk about real life stuff outside of politics and that type of thing. I'm just talking about things that have happened to myself in life. So, what brought this topic up kinda is I did something really dumb. Something that I normally don't do. Um I have no excuse for it. So at my current job, um, every year we have to do goals. And one one of my goals, me and another coworker, um, was to take a particular course. Perfect. But we were gonna take it like June, July time frame of 2025 because um we had some big projects that were finishing up, you know, like in May. So we're like, oh let's, you know, put it on there. We'll take it like the second half of 2025. Okay, so again, using my come my company, they reimburse you, things like that. So as it got closer to time, we had a curveball thrown at us where we had to get thrown onto another project that kind of like took all hands on deck, but it really needed our expertise. Okay, cool. And of course, the timeline was the same timing of this course we wanted to take, and it would have taken us throughout this project, would have taken us almost to the end of the year. Okay, cool. And it was a project so deep that it had huge deadlines, so you're you're talking, you know, us working a little more than our eight hours and things like that. No big deal. What did I do? Shift my attention to that. I did not sign up for the course that I needed to sign up for and wanted to sign up for, knowing that it was kind of a need, and I, you know, I say this to say, because when you set goals for yourself, there's a reason you set that goal. Some things are just wants, you're like, I just want that. This was a want slash need, um, you know, to kind of go hand in hand with what I currently do, and it it it opens like a small other portal, you know. So this was kind of a need. You had this goal, you're supposed to follow through. Vision boards. You guys know me, vision boards. So, nope. I put it on the back burner. I did zero certification training, zero. So, all that I ended up not getting permanently on that project when the project was over, even though I may be part of the reason, you know, that it got to the finish line. No big deal. That's just work, the politics of it. But I put my goal on the back burner, okay? So then it comes up later. Hey, do you have this particular cert? And I'm like, the cert that was asked upon if I have was the same exact cert I was supposed to have been part of my goal to get back in June, July. And I'm like, no, it was all my goals to do, and they're like, How soon could you get it? You know, so because an opportunity could potentially be coming up. So now here I am. I have to, if I would have followed and kept me first, still would have helped out on that project, but put me first, same way they put themselves first. I would have already had it to where when I got that question. I would have been like, yep. And then it could have gone from there. No. I had to go. I'm rummishing, trying to get signed up. And of course it costs. So I get signed up. And guess what, guys? I'm not I don't have the luxury of taking it like Monday through Friday, normal, regular, and like nine to five. And being the fact that I need it so quick. And even with me getting this doesn't guarantee anything with the proposal or whatever that you know I'm being asked about. And again, not giving names. I don't wanna. This isn't a um podcast to bash or anything like that. So if you guys are like, why is she talking like in circles? Promise you, I'm not, I just not here to like put anyone out there or any organizations out there. This is truly just take it for what it is, just a teaching moment about sticking to your goals. So um the place that I like to do my trainings through, which this part I can say is the knowledge, um, the knowledge uh hut. Um, if anyone ever uh needs certain trainings and things, they're really good. And if you tell them that Melissa good referred you, you get a little discount, including me. So again, this is not sponsored by them, but I know for a fact I can say that. Give that name out, they would not mind. Um, so being the fact like they do teachings all around the world. Um, and again, I need to get this thing quick. So the one class had already started, the only next available class starts today, actually. It actually was supposed to start yesterday, but it's in the middle of the freaking night for me. So I will be taking courses, the courses for about three or four days this week from 11:30 p.m. to 4:30, 5 o'clock a.m. The middle of the freaking night. Just so I can get the course done, study, and try to get my cert by the following week. I gotta take an exam that's proctored by the following week and try to get it done and sent over to whomever to see if, you know, maybe, and this is just for a maybe candidacy. Again, the exact cert that was on my goals list that I put to the back burner, it it's coming back up. You you get what I'm saying? So there's a reason I wanted that as a goal. That was a goal for me because I knew that particular cert helps open doors to help further my career or get further into my career. And I put my career and myself on the back burner for a project that would have been there regardless, and it still would have met its deadline, but I wasn't willing to, I guess, in a sense, like overwhelm myself with so much, the project plus that, and I should have. I should have overwhelmed myself with myself, with my goals, not with anything else. So I'm more here to say don't procrastinate. And if you set goals for yourself, there's a reason why you set them. Attempt your hardest to hit them at the timelines and things that you set out for yourself because there's a reason that you sat down, did your vision board, put potential timelines on them. There is a reason because things come up, and my story is just an example of how if I already would have done it, it would have already had it. I wouldn't be frantic now trying to get through this course, and then even more frantic that I pass the exam and trying to do it in the short window. You you get what I'm saying? So I'm actually putting more pressure on myself now than what I would have if I would have gone on ahead and still stayed the course, did my class, I would have had more time and things to that nature to get the exam done and to study. Now I'm trying to cramp everything into like a week and a half. You know, so it just came full circle for me. And I thought, you know, I would share this with you guys because I would like to think I'm not the only human being out here doing some silly stuff, you know. There's so many people being laid off, different things, new contracts are coming in, and even though you might know the job and have done the job, if you don't have the cert to go with it, it means nothing. So you're scrambling and with no job trying to pay for these things is hell. So, you know, put yourself first, put that vision board first. Believe it or not, the job will be there rather if you want it or not. You know, you gotta the goals you set for yourself, and even if you le need smaller steps in that goal of how to get there, you gotta do it. You gotta do it. Like, I love the energy my sister came in with for New Year's Eve. So we had like a little bit of food again. I as you guys know, who's been listening to me, I do vision boards every year. I make anyone that comes to my door, I don't make anyone do them, let's say it that way, but I really highly encourage it. I will say that. And um, she came in the door, you know. I've everybody else come down, like, oh, eat a little something, chatter, you know, let's talk. This, this, she come to the door. I'm like, oh, is food here? Then she goes, no. Where's I'm ready to do my vision board? She ain't eat nothing. She ain't, she barely sat down. She was just waiting for her board and her supplies. She's like, vision board. Like, she had a vision, whatever that may be, and she got the cracking. She was on her shit for probably a good hour and a half before she even was really even talking to us, interacting with us, or eating. She did her shit before midnight, well before and had a mission. And that's good though, that fire. So that means if she just needs to keep that fire throughout the year, and sometimes the goal might not be met for that upcoming year, but the steps are already in place. So, okay, you might not hit the goal 2026, but 2027, the goal is hit, but you've done all the steps you needed to in 2026. But I mean, she had a fire under her, and we all could take that fire. I need it. If I would have had it, I would have already had this particular cert that I'm gonna have to sit up in the middle of the night for and do. Um, hope my son goes to bed early enough. So, you know, because they don't have school because of the snow. So, you know, I let him kind of just stay up, do his thing, enjoy the snow days. Um, but and you know, and my husband's, you know, out. So it's just me and Eli for like a couple of days. So I'm like, so you guys you set goals for a reason. That's that's pretty much all this to say. You set goals for a reason, and I just didn't want you guys to think I'm a person sitting up here saying do this or do that or you know, know your worth and this guys. I have been through many things. I have work jobs that suck, I have work jobs that don't even pay. I've been approached pretty much damn near foreclosure, knocking at my door. I have been through many things to where a lot of the things I say now today is from experience. I I'm not up on no high horse. Trust and believe, I am a firm believer it can all be gone in the blink of an eye, snap of a finger, whatever you want to say. So I respect the hell out of money, but I respect I'm I have learned to respect myself more. You know, things happen and they seem so bad at the time, or the timing seems off, but a lot of times the timing is perfect. When you sit there and look back on some things, you'd be like, man, I probably would have stayed at that job still if this didn't happen. And look at where I'm at now. It's so much better. Work-life, true work-life balance for me and my family, or you know, or just even for you. Not every just because you say you want a work-life balance doesn't mean you have to have a husband and kids at home or a spouse and kids at home. Your work-life balance is you and what you want that to be. If you, as a single person, feels you need a work-life balance, then that's what you need. It doesn't always have to be, oh, only people with kids have a work-life balance. Just because I'm single don't mean I don't need balance. You know, especially when you're working for someone else. When you work for yourself, there is no work-life balance. Just bottom line. But when you work for someone else, you are a part of helping that business stand up. And they have a team of people to help it stand up. Rather, if you're there or not, that job is that organization is probably going to be standing. They'll just find someone to replace you. But all I'm here to say is set your goals and try your hardest not to let anyone derail you from that. Or you'll be up in the middle of the freaking night, like I'm going to be for the next three nights, three or four nights. I gotta look doing what I'm doing without even the guarantee that you might get the role that you know, we're even, you know, that brought this about for me. You know, I don't know. I hope I do, and it's a chance I gotta take, but if I would have already had it, the conversation could have gone different. That's you know, you can't conversate on a oh, I'm I'm gonna try to get it, you know. So we'll see. Hopefully it pays off for me. Um, even if it doesn't, again, I set that goal originally because I know it can help me. So even if this role doesn't work, I know another one will come. And you know, it's hard to be positive during these things, but you have to be. You gotta believe in yourself and just do what you can. But yeah, I just wanted to get on there and share that tea about myself and procrastination and goals, and I hope I am an example of why I'm always like vision boards and standing your ground. I'm I'm proof that you should. I need to take my own freaking advice. So I I messed up, guys. I messed up, but it's all good, it's all good. Um, but yeah, I'm I'm gonna let you guys simmer on that. Um, I had my cup of coffee already. I'm actually not drinking anything. Um, I guess for snow, people like to drink like hot chocolate and all that, but I did have some coffee earlier, and uh yeah, you guys need to, you know, sip on some hot chocolate coffee, put a little bit, a little extra in there, and just stay safe, stay off the roads as much as you can, and uh remember to put yourself first. That that's you know, put yourself, your family, whatever that looks like, put that first. If you know, it's hard, it's easier said than done, and I'm aware, but I'm a true believer that if you know what the value and worth of things of yours, you you make it work, you know, and it will show on you, and others will know, okay, I can't mess with that person, you know, they're they're strong-willed, um, you know, I don't know. But yes, it has been great chatting with you guys. I'm gonna sign out, sip your coffee, and relax. It's a nice cozy day. Until next time, Madam Below.