Back To Zumba, Back To Me

We share a warm check-in over coffee, celebrate a real potty training breakthrough, and talk about getting back to Zumba while juggling a commuting spouse and a rambunctious seven-year-old. The thread is presence: how we protect attention, tag team at events, and choose routines that bring joy.

• returning to Zumba for energy and identity
• balancing schedules with a commuting spouse
• why I avoid bringing my child to class
• tag-teaming at social events to stay present
• consistent potty training and growing independence
• how small wins shift mood and momentum
• setting firmer boundaries after becoming a parent
• handling judgment and choosing different parenting norms
• measuring happiness by a child’s well-being

Thanks for listening coffee with a twist.

Email me at: coffeewitatwist@gmail.com

Note: I don’t own copyrights to any music you hear in any of my episodes. 

Transcript

Fighting A Cold And Family Health

Returning To Zumba

Scheduling Around A Commuting Spouse

Why I Don’t Bring My Son To Class

Tag-Teaming Social Events As Parents

Saturday Routines And Getting Back On Track

The Potty Training Breakthrough

Independence, Pride, And Rewards

How Parenting Changes Boundaries And Voice

Judgment, Different Upbringings, New Choices

Gratitude, Goals, And A Walk Outside

SPEAKER_00 0:03

Hey guys, welcome back to Coffee with a Twist. Hope you all are doing well, enjoying your week. It is pretty sunny here today, but it's like in the I don't know, low 50s. Um drinking my coffee, got a little nice little theme of music in the background. Um yeah, I just wanted to get on here and say hi and see how everyone is doing. Um yeah, I don't really have much to talk about today, but I did want to get on and just check and see how everyone's doing, let you guys hear my voice. Um I'm I feel like I'm getting potentially a little sick. My son was sick um for a few days, like with just like a head cold. Thank god, nothing too crazy. And you know how that goes. They're up under you and everything, and cough and use you as their tissue, etc. So I think it catches up. Um, but I'm fighting it the best I can, you know. Um I'm so excited. So I haven't done Zumba in wow, many, many, many, many months. Um, I've been doing some stuff at home, but it's different when you're in the class and sorry, with you know, your peers, and you know, the music's loud and just really, you know, the movement. So um I did sign back up. So I start back tonight. Um I this session I'm coming in a little over halfway when it's done, but it's alright, because I think it ends um, what is this February? I think it ends at April 1st or something. So I'll get a good month out of it, and then it goes on like a break, and then the spring session will start. So the spring session will probably start the end of April, beginning of May. You know, not really sure, but guys, I am so excited to start back. Um with my husband's schedule, it's it's just been hard to like go, and I don't like to rush him. He commutes, you know, he needs to be safe on the road. So um at least I should be able to do it this month and um, you know, the rest of this session, and we'll see what the next session will be. My son, I haven't tried taking him with me yet, even though he's seven, he's uh rambunctious. Um, I don't think he'll sit there for an hour while I do Zumba. And honestly, I can't speak for other moms, but me personally, when my kid is with me, and I'm speaking forget just Zumba, but in general, like you know, certain things, well, everything, anything I'm invited to, if someone wants like my full attention, I hate to say it this way, my kid can't come with me. Um, when my kid is with me, I'm on mommy mode. I'm not sitting back chilling on the chair or couch and talking to everybody. I'm more like more of like an introvert almost and kind of with my child. Um I'm sure as he gets older that may change, but where I'm at in life right now, it it's kind of funny. Oh, come talk. I'm like, yeah, you won't even get a five-minute conversation out of me. Um, I don't know. I'm just in mommy mode. Like, my mode is different when he's around me. It's not that he's misbehaving or anything, it's just, I don't know. I'm just heightened for some reason. So typically when I meet up with friends and things like that, even though I know they want to see my son, and I do, I make points where they can see him, but I just let them know hey, this is not the time where if you got stuff you really need to talk to me about and need my attention, you can't do it when I'm with my kid because I'm not paying attention. I'm not trying to be mean or rude. I'm just my brain doesn't shut off versus when he's you know home with his dad and I'm out with my friends or whatever it is we're doing, I can focus better. Um, I have to be disconnected from my child to be able to engage with the scenery around me and the crowd around me. I don't know if anyone else is like that or if I'm just the crazy one, but that that's just how I operate. Um, that's why sometimes if I know it's a function where it's like I know people are gonna want to talk to me, but my son like has to go. Me and my husband go and we tag team. So, you know, if it's something more of a function for me per se, more of my friends or family members there, even though yes, they want to talk to him too. We kind of shift off, like, okay, first hour, you know, I'll get in, get my talk on, or if you see people are trying to talk to me more, he takes over, and vice versa. Um, like for instance, my husband has his family reunion coming up in June. Um, we're gonna go. So it's my husband's family reunion. People, you know, he haven't seen in a while. So yeah, we're going, but I already plan that let him, Jason, go do what he needs to do, hang out with his family, talk, chat. I'll have Eli, you know, I'll make sure Eli's entertained and look after him, etc. I'm not planning for the both of us to be mingling in that way. So it's things like that. So we, you know, it's tag team type of things. Um saying if I have guests over or I'm going somewhere, he does the same. It's like, okay, you, you know, he'll have Eli or or entertain him, and you know, we're still involved in with the group, but your your mind is just more on your child and like making sure because some things we go to, it's maybe not a lot of kids or kids his age, so he needs someone kind of to play with him in a sense, you know. So that's where we come in. So um, yeah, I'm just really weird like that. So I say that to say going to Zumba with my child there, I don't think I would get much of a workout because even though he's probably doing good, you know, my focus would still, you know, be on him. But I commend the people that do. There are a few parents that do come in and um they have their child with them and things like that. I don't know how they do it. I mean, they do get interrupted a lot, but you know, I guess it's just part of them. I guess they're like, I made it, I I'm still moving, I'm still working out. And they are, you know, kids are kids. Sitting for an hour, hour and 15 minutes with warm-up and cool down is is a lot for younger kids, you know. Go in the bathroom with something to snack, you know how it goes. So um, I have not tried um taking him to Zumba to where my husband's schedule won't matter, but even if I could, I don't think I would. You know, um, this coffee is really good. Um, but yeah, so yeah, I'm just really excited to start that back, and then um I'm hoping I can start back Saturday Zumba as well. Um, what is this? February, so March. I think they have a last class March 21st. So something should be coming up in April, so probably April time frame, I'll be able to do that again. And the way we used to have it, my son would have Saturday swim. So my husband would take my son to swim, and you know, I go to Zumba, things like that. So, you know, I'm I just feel good that I'm kind of like getting some things back on track. Um, the other so exciting thing um for me, my son is finally well, can I say fully well to me he's fully potty trained, he's peeping and pooping on the potty consistently. Umly thing at night for right now, I still have him wear a pull-up, and that's mainly because he will sleep either on our couch or in my bed, things like that. So um, you know, I don't want any accidents in those areas in his room when he sleeps in there, it's okay because the way his bed is made. So my next um phase, I told my husband, like middle of March, I think I'm gonna start, you know, incorporating, taking the pull-up off, you know, at night, wearing his underwear, sleeping in his bed. That way, if he has any accidents, just washing blankets, the mattress won't get soiled. Um, but yeah, I'm really excited about it because you know, sometimes this is with everything in life, you know, when you're going through something challenging, at the time, it seems like there's no light at the end of the tunnel, and it also seems like you're going through it so long, but then when you really like once you get through it and you look back at it, you're like, that was only like a year, that was only two two weeks, that was only one month that you know it it seems so long and taxing at the time, and then once you get through it, you're like, that's it? Really? You're like, what the heck was I, you know? Um, so you know, it's just so amazing that like he's kind of started this on his own, the whole potty training thing, and you know, it started off, of course, peeing on the potty. So let me say this peeing on the potty, he has been good at that uh for over a year with no accidents and things like that, and then um, you know, working on the pottying, the pooping on the potty. So what I would do is um ever you know, every once in a while he'll start pooping on the potty, like a day or two, then that would be it back into his pull-up where he'll sneak off, grab his pull-up, things like that. Poop. Alright. So then we tried to do the whole thing where like I hide the pull-ups and different things, and all that was happening is that he would hold it for days, and you know, doctors are like, you know, it's not the best route. I did the whole after you eat, or when you are ready, you know, when he gets goes to his special place to use the bathroom, it it just you know, put him on the toilet. It didn't work. So the doctor's just like, you know, it will come, you know, you you hear that. I'm just like, uh, whatever you say, it didn't seem like it. And then one day, uh what it was February, start this started in January. He went and sat on the potty himself, and you know, I didn't get too excited, even though he did and pooped and everything. And the reason why I didn't get too excited is because this isn't his first time doing this, you know, where he sits on the potty and maybe do it for example. So even though I still praised him and all that, still didn't think it was time. The next day did the same thing, and I'm like, okay, okay, you know. Next day, the same. Fourth day, pooped on in the pull-up, no big deal. Then the next day, back on the toilet. So it was like, you know, it was longer and longer. And then, next thing I know, by February, um, it was way more consistent. We were going like six days before he even used um the pull-up to use the number two. Like, and I think even when he did it, it probably was by accident. So by the time we went, by the time his dad came home from his trip and we were going to New York, he was just consistently going number two and number one on the toilet without holding it. Because normally, and I was even afraid of going on our trip to New York because I was like, oh, he'll probably hold it. Um, you know, because when we travel like that, especially if he doesn't have a pull-up, even though I had them, I still kept it up. But being in a different place and environment, typically he holds his potty anyway. Nope, he did not, he was getting on the toilet himself. I'm like, wow, and I have to say, since New York, it has been consistent, and we've been back from New York now two weeks, and it's been consistently, consistently going and not even looking for a pull-up, you know, at all. He doesn't even, you know, the sneakiness of it, like getting it so you can go poop. He doesn't do it at all. He will, you know, go up. He has his uh bathroom he likes to use to go number two, but that's it. So I'm so proud of him, and I'm just so proud because this is something I had on my vision board as well. So it's like I told Jason, March time frame is when I will check it off. You know, I want to make sure it's sticking, you know. So that's something I'm pretty proud of ourselves the first quarter of 2026. Like some things are really happening um in our lives, and uh from the vision board, and it's just goes to show, you know, writing it down, putting, you know, putting it out there in the universe, you know, do what you can, but you know, this took a lot of patience, but I was just so excited because I'm like, oh my god, you're getting too old to keep pooping in the in a pull-up, dude. Like, come on now. So, um, yeah, so the great thing is now it's just, you know, working on small things, making sure he's wiping clean, which he does pretty good. Um, but you know, those type of things. Um, and and it's working, like, and it's so great seeing his like independence and him growing in these milestones and how happy he is about it. That's the other thing. He's even excited about it. So my sister buys him all of his underwear. I don't buy underwear, my sister does it because she's been encouraging him to use the bathroom on the potty for the longest, even when he was potty trained to pee on the toilet. So she's been buying him his underwear because you know, that's their deal. So he's got probably gonna have a lot of underwear coming very soon because he's consistently doing it. So I text her every day. I'm like, someone just pooped on the potty. This wasn't, you know, today he pooped twice on the potty. Like, this is it's really just exciting, and just to see how happy he gets as well. It's it's pretty cool. Um, you know, being a parent has its challenges, but it also has his its rewards, and um being a parent, you have a different appreciation for your own parents and certain things you might look back on. Like, for instance, like for us, like it's really crazy, you know. As a parent, you you know, like, so like our oldest kid, he doesn't seem to react to anything, like, oh my god, thank you. So, you know, like sometimes you might buy your kids something that you're like, oh my god, my kid would so love this, you know, at least you think, and you're like proud of what you brought as a parent. And as us as kids, we've done I've had memories of sometimes where like my dad or something might have been excited to do something or whatever. My reaction was kind of like, ugh, and you can see their face just kind of like, what the hell? Like looking back as that on that as a parent, like I'm sure that hurt my parent, you know what I mean? So, like, same with our kids, like you you do stuff for them, not that you want to be praised or anything, but you're you're like excited, you're like proud of yourself that you might have gotten them or did something that they would really like, and the response is just kind of like, oh, thanks. You're like, what the hell? Like, I went through all this, and this is all you say is uh thanks. Like, come on, kids. But they're kids, you you know, you can't get upset at it. It's just what it is. But yes, being a parent now, and then looking back on some things, you can see the reward of things, like you know, when parents are so excited that their kid might have graduated or finished middle school, just it even small accomplishments that seem like are are um normal uh part of life, and you know, you see the parents so excited. I get it because sometimes, you know, like even though they're the ones screaming, oh thanks, you know, I'm so glad they're this or that or accomplished. Yeah, this is something people do every day, but you don't know the struggle they might have with their child in school, where it hits different, or even their own self-thing, like maybe they didn't graduate or make it this far themselves, and just so proud that their child did it. So being a parent is different. It you think different, you are different. Um it's just different. Uh, I my my famous saying is uh being a parent uh for me, me becoming a parent has made it really bad for others, um, in the sense that my filter is different, my care is different. Um I have noticed since being a parent, I am um quicker to speak my mind. I also have like zero tolerance for any BS. Um I kinda I kinda just you know my temperament, my temperament. Not that I ever had like a high temperament, but like I'm I cut the bullshit. I don't fluff, I don't try to make others feel good in this if they're like you know, if if the need is there, I'll say that. It's not like I'm like purposely going around being mean to people, but if the the issue arise, I'm quicker to like tell someone off and not care about it. Um you know what I mean? Like I I definitely speak up a lot more um than I have in the past. Like normally, you know, you try to accommodate and appease people, and I just don't do those things at all in any capacity. I don't and I don't care who you are. Um, you know, and I also ignore people. I I do a lot of that when people talk, if they're talking craziness, I just feel like whatever. But um, I don't know if it's age, a child, or a little bit of both, but um, yeah, that's my saying. Like being a parent was uh bad, bad for others, you know, but it is what it is. We change, you know. Being a parent, you do change. Being an adult, you change. Different phases in adulthood makes you change, life makes you change. Um, and you just evaluate, you know. I keep my circle pretty small anyway, you know. Uh one thing I have learned from being a parent as well, people like to judge you a lot, and some people forget who they're talking to and forgot that they're talking to you about your child or about you, you know, and they forget and slip up, you know. And a lot of times I don't say nothing, I just know, okay, boom, got you, you know. I know what you're doing, but yeah, people are very judgmental. I am definitely not the parent I thought I would ever be. Um, and you know, so I say that to say people around me were probably raised similar to me, or even raised their kids similarly to how they were raised. I do not raise my kid that way. Um, not saying good, bad, and different. I trust me, I'm not the parent I thought I would be. Um, I pick and choose my battles, and um not everyone can understand that, you know. So, you know, it is what it is, but uh yeah, it's um different being a parent. Being a parent is uh is different, but it's very It has it's very rewarding, and it and it's just great to see them grow and you know hit certain milestones. But uh, but yeah, I'm just I've been in a really good mood. Hope this stays for 2026 and beyond. Give it give me this happiness for like the next decade. You know, life is always shoe drop it around the corner and things, but it's you know, it's alright. Um we go through the punches and we make things happen, but I'm just really excited for my son and um his accomplishments, you know, already. He's doing really, really well, and I'm happy, so you know, my happiness truly is measured by my son's happiness and his well-being. If my son is good, then I'm good. So that's how it's measured for me right now in life. Um, I know not everyone would agree with that, you know, put yourself first, type of thing, and that's fine. But but that's not for me right now. But yep, my son is happy and accomplished and doing well, so I am also doing well. But no, I just wanted to get on here, guys, and say hi, and hope you guys are enjoying your week and looking forward to your weekend. And if you do have some bit of decent weather, go out and take a nice little walk. And um, I'm just happy I'm gonna do Zumba tonight, stuffy nose and all. But thanks for listening to me ramble, and um, thanks for joining Madam Balloo, Coffee with a Twist.