Small Self-Care Habits Can Keep You Here Longer

We’re hit with a heavy run of loss in our family and it shakes us into telling the truth about time, love, and what really matters. We talk through grief, stress, faith, and the small health changes we can start right now so we show up longer for the people who need us. 
• sudden deaths and funerals piling up fast 
• feeling numb from nonstop bad news and refusing to stay there 
• fear of leaving our child too soon and why it changes priorities 
• small lifestyle changes that feel doable like more water and protein 
• choosing family time and dropping grudges 
• stress as a health risk and why self-care is necessary 
• the weekly bath reset and learning to relax again 
• getting back to movement with walks and at-home workouts 
• carb-heavy habits and simple swaps like losing the bun 
• rebuilding faith and looking for warnings before the big boom 
Make sure you do my challenge. Take a bath, relax, minimum 15 minutes.

Thanks for listening coffee with a twist.

Email me at: coffeewitatwist@gmail.com

Note: I don’t own copyrights to any music you hear in any of my episodes. 

Transcript

Late Night Check In

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey guys, welcome back to Coffee with the Twist. You're here with Madame Ballou. My voice is a little hoarsed. Um and it's late, so I'm kind of tired too, but I really wanted to put together an episode today. Um, I actually am not drinking coffee right now. Um, about an hour or two ago, I had a pot of coffee. Um, yes, I said a pot. Um, about two or three cups. I'm I'm being so bad. Like, I really need to get my life together. I told I told you guys before, like, really trying to decrease my coffee intake. And I have done well. A lot of days I do well, but um past few days it's it's been bad, especially this past week. So um, tomorrow I need to regroup, get back to my one cup of coffee. Um, because if not, I will drink the whole pot. Um, it's just yeah, it's it's just too much. Um, but yeah, so I did have some coffee um a couple of hours ago. I didn't have any this morning, so I'm gonna kind of just jump in. Like I said, I wanted to get on here. I haven't put out an episode in a while. And first, thank you guys. Like, I get my stats from my platform, and um, you know, I'm still getting downloads. I'll get a I've been getting a lot more downloads and people listening, and I'm just so thankful. I mean, even internationally, um, thank you. Like, I'm I'm just happy you guys listen to me. Like, it makes me feel good when I see my stats. I'm like, oh, someone wanted to listen to me. So thank you guys for like hanging in there and listening to me, even when I ramble, and you know, some things I say more than once, or stories or topics, but you know, some things need to be on repeat. I just really feel like it does, and that's kind of what brings this episode about as well. But thank you guys, like this is truly my outlet. Um, you know, and you know, I just hope these conversations and things just bring you all joy or help you on your drive home or just whatever, you know. So that's kind of what I do up for is to help motivate me, and I hope I'm motivating you all. So, um, unfortunately, this is crazy, y'all. So while I was recording, mind you, it's 1214 a.m. Sunday morning basically. Um, I started recording Saturday. So I was about to tell you, unfortunately, right? And you heard it kind of like go out. It's because my phone, my freaking phone rung. I'm gonna get back to that piece in a second. So originally I was getting on here to tell you guys about how my past couple of weeks have been. Unfortunately, um today I attended my uncle, my great uncle at that um funeral. Um, even though he's my great uncle, we are close. We have a great relationship, in my opinion, and I think it is as well. So um he died unexpectedly um last Wednesday. But the crazy thing is, it's like I said, it's been a crazy couple of weeks. The Sunday before, so last Sunday, my aunt calls me, gives me some news about her. I'm just like, oh my god, you know, everything's devastating. Then a couple of days later, I get a call that my uncle passed. I was devastated as all we as we all were. Um, we had just celebrated his 79th birthday. We were over there, just fun and you know, great gathering for his birthday. So I'm just thankful for that, those the time, you know. So I was getting on here, you know, how I always get on y'all about your vision boards and doing your vision boards and blah blah blah blah blah blah. So I'm like, you know what? 2026 has been a little crazy this year so far. Um, I also have a cousin who his mother was found deceased, unresponsive. Um, I think this was just Tuesday, Wednesday. It's just been coming, guys. Like I don't know if it's our faith being tested. I I don't know what the hell's going on. We just in the beginning of 2026. So I was getting on here pretty much to let you guys know. This year you're gonna be hearing me say a lot to spend time with your loved ones, people you care about, cherishing the moments, because wow, I don't know what the hell is going on. So to catch you guys up, as I was like I was just saying a couple of minutes ago, how you could hear the break in my recording, because again, y'all know I don't edit, my freaking phone rang, and it's midnight now. A little after midnight, my phone rang, that's why my thing cut out. I couldn't finish. It was my mother. One of my aunts passed away. Can't make this shit up, and then on top of it, also today, while we were at my uncle's funeral in Repass, a great family friend of ours gets a call that her mother has passed away. I mean, what the hell? Am I at that age now where it's like death all the time? Like, what the hell is going on? Like, wow. I I'm just like, guys, guys, I cannot, I don't know if it's the age I'm at now that, and again, as you guys know, a lot of people I hang out with are older, but everyone I kind of mention right now is like family, so you know, I get we all are getting older, but it just to me, 60s is young, right? Or am I wrong? To me, 60s young, you know. My mom is in her 60s, early 60s. I have friends that are in their 60s, late 60s, and stuff, and I'm just like, this is kind of scary, you know. And I get everyone has their different fate, faith, not fate, faith, and I do have faith. Um, you know, I really do, and I do have fears. Um, being a parent, especially of a young child, that's where I have my fear. Um, I never want to leave my child too early if I can help it, you know what I mean? Um, I want to make sure he has all his foundational pieces. I want him grown on his own, functional, being out in his community, etc., before I could leave him, you know. I I would I you know it's just crazy, you know, because no one can take care of my baby the way I take care of my baby. Like, I feel he needs me. Um again, I know we don't make that choice, but we can do things to help us stay longer if if if it's possible, meaning working on our health, our diets, our lifestyles, and even though I'm saying this, I I need to do those things. So I was coming on this episode literally before I got the call to say, like, we we need to take, try to take, do the best you can. I get it's hard, it's hard, you know. Um, life gets in the way. I'm a mother, even though I work from home, I'm a mom. So, yeah, you know, some people are really good with their time management. They can't get on the bus, they go to the gym, they do this, blah, blah, blah. You know, for me, I remember I'm a special needs mom on top of it. So, like when my son's at school, that is my relaxed time. And I ain't gonna lie, working out ain't relaxing to me. It is relaxing for some. I hope it gets to a point where exercising is relaxing to me. Taking walks and stuff, I do enjoy that, and I do that, but I need to do more than that. I'm 41 years old, so I need to do a little more. And I'm um again, all these depths, not saying it came from lifestyle, you know. I'm just saying there are things we can do that helps us health-wise, you know. I don't want to be 40, 50, even 60 on any medication and things like that, and I know now is the best time to change it while I'm still able to before anything happens, and I just need to keep reminding myself that I need to start this journey and stick to it the best that I can. I've done some small changes. Um, I'm drinking a ton of more water. Water is normally not sucked. I drink water, but I don't drink water. Um, and you know, I had to do it the little bougie way. Um, that's where and it's working for me. It sucks because it costs, but it's working for me. Um, I buy um Icelandic water, which I really enjoy. Yes, it costs. Yes, I could use my faucet thing, my filter water, I know, but for some reason I just I can't stick with that. So I've been doing the bottled waters. I put a few in the refrigerator every morning to get it colder in that evening, put them in for the next day, and I'm drinking, I find myself drinking like four to six bottles a day. That is huge for me. So I'm trying to find small ways to what do you say, like to to increase my water intake, and then maybe after I get used to drinking it this way, I can go to where a little cheaper way where I'm using my filter water or you know, things like that. I'm just not there yet, but I have to do it in ways that work for me. Um, so I started that a couple of weeks ago. So this next coming week, I want to do something else, introduce something else. So another thing I've been um that I did purchase um is some protein shakes. So I want to like include that into my regimen. Like I'm just I gotta do it this way because if you for me, if I try to do like a lifestyle change all at once, it's overwhelming. I don't stick to it, I'm it's just point blank. So I'm just trying to get there, but um, you know, guys, all year I'm gonna be annoying. Spend time with your family, be with your loved ones, let them know how much you care. If you have a grudge, kill that noise. Your family is all you have. You guys know each other in ways that no one else does. We don't always agree, we don't always get along, we all have good days, we all have bad days. But people, someone that means something to you, let them know they mean something to you. You know, be present, try to attend things. Like I always try to attend my family stuff. That's why I'm fortunate to know both sides of my family. I feel comfortable going to any of my family members' homes or being around them, you know, socialize, get in the know, get to know their kids, you know. We're all we have. You gotta pass these stories down. You know, it is crazy. It's crazy, and it's sad, you know. And it's what's even sadder to me, so many deaths keep going on that you almost start to become numb. And I don't like that feeling. I don't like the numbness. And we just gotta do better to make sure our loved ones know that we love them, that we're here for them. It's it's crazy. It's just crazy. We cannot make this stuff up, like, it's scary. It is it scares me. How people are just dying left and right. Yes, don't get me wrong. These people are a little older, like maybe 20 years older than me, and some change. Some little older, like my uncle, older than that, but it's like wow, you know, think about I'm at the age I'm in now. Can't imagine being dead in 20 years, me personally, and I don't want to, and I want my health to be good. I don't want to be 80 in just a shell, you know. So even though I'm putting this episode out, this episode is for me. Like, I'm talking to me, and I'm hoping whatever I'm saying maybe resonates with you too. We gotta do better. Do what you can to take care of yourself. Do what you can to let your loved ones know you love them. We gotta do what we can do. Small changes, increasing your water, getting rid of the bread, picking up some fruits and vegetables, something, is scary. It's scary so much. And it seems like a lot of people are having heart problems. You know why? Because we're so fucking stressed. We're so fucking stressed. You know? So pamper yourself, give yourself some self-care. We're so fucking stressed, y'all. Work, school for some people, life, expenses, kids, spouses, bills, and it's that same cycle, you know, and it's no getting away from it. The best we can do is to try to find a way to deal with that, so it's less stressful on you. I get massages, even when I can't afford it. I ain't gonna lie. I do. That's my stress reliever, and when I go in there, my I get migraines and stuff, so my resting body or whatever you want to call it, my relax is still very uh tight. Mama Seuss, she's always like, she's like, girl, I don't know how you are walking around. Like, I'm just I'm always tensed because you know I'm gonna suffer with migraines, and I'm probably holding stuff in that I don't even know I'm holding in. And I think that's a lot of us. Sometimes you don't even think that you're stressed, but you are, you got shit on your mind. That's why you're staying up late at night listening to me right now, you know. But guys, I I know it's hard, but find a way to give yourself some self-care, even as a mama or a father, a parent, a spouse, you know what I mean? Okay, you can't afford the massage day, or even to each other, especially if you're with somebody. You don't even have to be your husband, shit. Hey, instead of us doing the hanky panky tonight, let's give each other massages, let's relax. You know what I'm saying? Find something to relax 30 minutes, something. I I feel like a lot of people are having these heart attacks and stuff. We're just so fucking stressed. That is crazy how stressed we are. I know we are. So you gotta find something relaxing in the bath. Think about it. Really think about it. When's the last time you took a bath? When's the last time you took a bubble bath? I'm not getting on anybody's cleanliness. I'm not even talking about the cleanliness. When's the last time you sat in your bathtub with water and bubbles and chilled? We take fucking showers because they're quick. But when have you ran the water, got your bath water right, and relaxed in your fucking bathtub, guys? Y'all thinking, ain't ya? It's been a while. And there's some that, you know, do it. I know my one cousin, that's all she takes is bath. Good for her. You know what I'm saying? But think about when's the last time you just took a bath and was in the bathtub at minimum 15 minutes. Minimum. Exactly. So I challenge you guys take a bath once a week. Whatever day you pick, whatever hour you pick, once a week. Take a bath. Relax. Turn the lights off. Shit. If you don't want to even wash and just lay there in the bubbles, so be it. Because some people I get they prefer to take a shower to like wash themselves. Cool. No problem. Sit in that damn bathtub. It ain't gotta be not fan. You ain't gotta be how you see on the TikToks and stuff. Just run some damn bath water. Put some soap, some bubble bath and Epsom salts or whatever the fuck in there, and be done. Relax. Minimum. 15 minutes. And I hope every week that you do it, the time gets longer and longer. But I challenge y'all, 15 minutes in the bath. And again, I'm speaking to me too. Because you know the last time I took a bath that I sat in a bathtub with bubbles or just relaxed in it, I had my son in my belly. So we talking damn near eight years ago. Yeah. So, like I said, this episode is for me. And I hope it helps someone else. But I need this episode for me. I need to do better all the way around. I need to do better with my exercising, my eating, my lifestyle, my relaxation. Yes, I get my massage and stuff, but I need to find a way to make relaxing into, if not my daily, at least my weekly routine. I'm not doing, I do little things, but they're like couch potato shit. I sit and watch TV. I need to get away from that. Like I like watching my TV, but I need to get away from that. What I used to do when I was a little bit younger, before I had my son, and it worked for me. It really did. But for some reason it doesn't work for me anymore because I I I don't know. But, anyways, I'm I'm a big TV watcher. So what I used to do, I watch TV while I work out on the machines, and that worked wonders for me. I really I tried again, but it didn't work for me. That's why I love that, but it it it's I think if I try it again, I think I'll be able to do it. But that's why I like that. Um I can't think of it. I don't know if y'all remember. So, right before COVID, this platform came out for like short movies and shows. They were like 10 minutes and under. Oh, I can't think of the name. I think Ruku owns it now. But unfortunately, I think it would have done really good. But it happened right before COVID when it launched. And then once COVID happened, remember people weren't commuting and stuff to work anymore. So you didn't have a need for these short clips to watch when you're driving down the road or riding, commuting, whatever it is on the train and stuff. But it was a great thing, and they had great shows on there. I actually watched it. I had the I had the subscription, loved it. And with that, I did really good with the machine and that. So I wanna I need to try this again. I have a max three and all that downstairs. I have um a gym membership, but I'm gonna be real. I ain't getting no going to gym, even though I have one. I want to start at home, get into it, and then transition to the gym. We have a gym membership, we pay a really good price, and my husband does go to the gym. Not as much as he should, that's all of us, but I need to get back into this, so like I said, this episode is for me, y'all. It is for me, trust me. Um, but yeah, I can't think of the name of that streaming service, but it was like 10 minutes and under for shows and all that. Um it'll come to me. But if you guys know what I'm talking about, that's what I'm talking about. But I really like that concept because I could do my workouts in like bite sizes, and it and it kept me going, but anyways, I need to I need to do better, I need to push better. Um, we have started doing walks with my son, like nature walks and things like that, which is all helpful. Don't get me wrong, it's movement. Movement is great, but I need to do more intentional movement, but we we gonna get there. I'm gonna get there. Like I said, I started with the water, which for me is huge, and I'm excited about it. Um, I need to do better with the way I snack. Like, I really don't eat bad per se, but I know my carb intake is crazy. I'm a carb girl, I love carbs, I'm not a meat eater, but some carbs and some fruits and vegetables is my jammy jam. So, you know, in the morning, be like, I want some toast with peanut butter. It don't sound the worst, right? It's not, but then as the day goes on, trust me, I'm eating some other type of starch, carb, something, you know. So I'm like stacking it on. So it's not like I'm just eating that toast in the morning, and then the rest of the day I might be eating a hamburger, no bun, stuff, everything for me. Pretz, all of the above. I got pretzels, I need ranch dresses. Yeah, it's a thing. So I know there are things that I could need to do better at. So, like tomorrow's the weather's supposed to be nice. We're gonna cook out on the grill a little. Um, so my my challenge, I'm starting my challenge tomorrow. Um, you know, lose the bun or only use half the bun, you know, one side, stuff like that. I I gotta do, I I gotta do better. I gotta do better. Um, I'm still young enough. I can bounce back from anything. I don't want anything to come up, so I gotta do better, y'all. So like I said, this message, this episode is for both, all of us, all of us involved, but yeah, it's crazy. I I mean, so in the last two weeks, one, two, one, two, three, about four to five deaths has happened of people that I know. Um, and then one, you know, with with some um not the greatest news, but working through it. So this is a two-week span. And mind you, we're just in the first quarter of 2026, y'all. I'm really praying that this the rest of this year, this is it. I I'm praying this is it, and the rest of the year we can, you know, breathe, you know. And it's really crazy for me because I told you guys before, like, I'm just starting to rebuild my relationship with God. Um, and it's being tested, but I'm a little more mature. I have a different understanding now when it comes to God. I'm getting there. So I'm still on my journey, and um I just I really pray. I'm you know, I lift lift my whole family up and my friends, my loved ones, and for myself, you know, I need God to help give me the strength to start my journey and to do these next steps for my lifestyle changes, things to that nature. I need all the help I can get, y'all. Um, because every week, you know, I start off great, but you know, eye openers happening. I am a true believer that God sends you some warnings. You know what I mean? Before the big boom, you know, type of thing. I do feel like we get, and that's on you if you don't take heed to it, if you don't take the message and make it for what you need it to be, you know, you can't stop things from happening, so it's just crazy. It's just crazy. So, um, yeah. It's uh been one of them type of years, but again, you guys are gonna hear me say a lot. Cherish and treasure your loved ones, the ones that are important to you. Spend time. Summer's coming up. Love on them, love on everybody. Um yeah, but I'm gonna end it there. Make sure your coffee's hot. Piping hot. I like mine piping hot, but yeah. This was a this is a good episode, y'all. I'm I'm proud of it. But um listen to this episode a couple of times if you need to, but uh make sure you do my challenge. Take a bath, relax, minimum 15 minutes. Alright, put the lid on the coffee, y'all. Lid going on a coffee. Alright, Madam Balou, coffee with a twist.