When The Rumba Is Loud And Life Is Louder

A cup of coffee sounds simple until it opens the door to everything we’ve been carrying. We start with a real morning moment, a new coffee we unexpectedly love, a loud little Rumba in the background, and an honest check on why we’re trying to cut back. It’s not a “perfect wellness routine” talk. It’s the kind of everyday health reality most of us live in: caffeine, cream and sugar, stomach sensitivity, stress, and learning how to listen to our bodies without making it a whole performance.

Then life hits harder topics. We talk taxes and the pressure of deadlines, but also the deeper stuff that deadlines can’t touch, grief, family loss, and how death changes your mindset overnight. When you lose people close to you, it forces a reassessment: the grudges you’ve held, the calls you haven’t made, the time you keep promising you’ll “find later.” We share what it’s like watching family dynamics change across years, and why we’re trying to show up more for the people we love, including friends who are family too.

We also get into the difference between sudden loss and long illness, the caregiving memories that stick, and a powerful “pretty peach” analogy about watching someone slowly fade. That reflection connects to why we keep podcasting even when it’s not polished: authenticity matters, and leaving a small legacy matters. There’s also a new way to connect with us through fan mail, so you can send thoughts, topics, and respectful pushback.

If this conversation hits home, listen through and then do one small thing today: take 15 minutes, reach out to someone you miss, and let one petty grudge die before it costs you real time. Subscribe, share with a friend, and leave a review so more people can find Coffee With A Twist.

Thanks for listening coffee with a twist.

Email me at: coffeewitatwist@gmail.com

Note: I don’t own copyrights to any music you hear in any of my episodes. 

Transcript

Welcome And New Coffee Find

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey guys, welcome back to Coffee with a Twist. You're here with Madame Balou. Uh I am drinking my coffee. So I have this new coffee. Well, it's probably not new to others, but new to me. Let's say this. And I'm probably saying I'm not even gonna say it, say the word because I'm probably gonna say it wrong, but it's um I L L Y coffee brand, and it comes in like a metal 10, a little silver metal 10. So it's my I just started drinking it this week because my normal coffee, I was out, so I keep coffees in general. People give me coffees and things like that. I'm so appreciative of it, but you know, you have your coffees you drink. So typically, when I'm like close to being out of my regular coffee, that's when I start trying the other coffees. And boy, oh boy, I freaking love it. And excuse my vacuum in the background. I have a new rumba that my sister-in-law and brother-in-law got for us. So excited about it. So I'm testing it out. I mapped it and things like that, so I want to see what it does to see if I need to remap it, etc. So, anyways, so this coffee is to me like freaking delicious. I I freaking love it. Um, it's so good. Um, I this might be my new shit. That's all I'm saying. So I am drinking my coffee. Um, sadly, I am on a second cup, but that's gonna be it today. I know I told you guys last time I'm like really trying to scale back. Um, mainly because like I notice with me and coffee, I maybe age, I don't know. Um, if I drink too much, and it's might not be the coffee itself, it's because I have cream and sugar. Um let's be real. So it might be like too much dairy. Not really sure, whatever, like that I'm consuming. Um, so it like can bother my stomach and things like that, so it is what it is. Not that I feel I put that much cream in there, but you know, my stomach says I do, probably. And then, you know, that's not the only dairy that I eat, you know. You have the coffee, then you might have a sandwich with cheese on it, or what have you. You know what I mean? Like, I don't know. So I'm only gonna drink the second cup, and it is it's just so good. Like, I hate how good it is. Like, I'm not even gonna lie, it's a little too good, but um, yeah, so, anyways, um, I'm drinking my coffee, and I hope you guys are too, because it is morning, so at least where I'm at, so nobody should be drinking anything stronger, and it's a weekday, you don't need to be spiking it, but I get sometimes work makes you want to spike it, uh, just to get through the day, but oh my gosh, guys, it's been crazy. Um, life has just been it's been crazy. Um, it's just crazy. Um if you haven't done your taxes, make sure you start that process because you got less than a month to get that done April 15th. So do your taxes. We go see our accountant tomorrow, Wednesday. Uh I hate going. I ain't gonna lie, because we typically always owe some money out, so uh we will see what happens. So I can say we will see what happens, but um, yes, make sure you guys do your taxes, get all that done, stay up on your stuff. Did anyone do my challenge yet? Did anyone take their bath? Did anyone chill out for 15 minutes? Anyone do any self-care? Um, another thing, so there's a couple of things. Um, again, I didn't really get on here for anything, but to like give some appreciation. In the last week, I have had about 85 to 100 downloads of different episodes. It might be some past ones, it don't always be like the latest one, which is cool, but I'm just so grateful because I guess you all you know have like listen to something of mine and then like oh let me go back. So I'm just I'm just grateful, like, that you guys are downloading and and listening to me, like I just want you guys to know, like, it means a lot. It does. Like I said, this is my outlet, and I appreciate you guys listening to me. So I just really really was coming on for that. I mean, you guys kind of know if you guys have been listening to me, you guys know how the past couple of weeks have been for me. A lot of deaths in my family, um, just life going on. Um, it it's a little tough right now. Like, let's be real, like, it makes you think differently, your mindset's a little different, you know. It's a it's with death, I know they say it's a celebration, and it is, you know, but it's still sad, you know what I mean? And it I guess one of the pluses to it, it makes you stop and slow down and reevaluate, too. You know what I mean? Like, if you've been holding a grudge to somebody, you know, maybe it's time to let that go or live with that, you know what I mean. Um, you know, if you've been real busy lately and like haven't really been able to talk to your loved ones, you know, maybe it's time to make that time for that to find a way to talk to each other, you you know what I'm saying? So it it helps you reassess. I mean, that's the best way I can put it. It helps you reassess. So I'm taking my experience and bringing it to you all, and I really hope no one is going through what I'm going through or anything worse than what I'm going through. Because there's always something more, everyone's going through something, and I just pray that you guys are having you know, a not going through any tormour in your life right now. I really do hope that. So I hope my experience just I'm bringing it to you guys just to stop and evaluate, even though things are going good. Stop and evaluate because we can always improve ourselves, we can always do something different or better. If we were doing something one way, you know, maybe this is a good time to switch it up. I don't know, you know, only you know, but I'm just kind of coming to you to re-evaluate, similar to how I do with the vision boards. But like I said, I'm gonna be coming at y'all, not just vision boards, also your self-care, also your check-in with your loved ones, like you know, you just gotta appreciate life, you know. It's crazy, and I'm sure we all, you know, these are things we all know. We know this. I'm not saying thing that no one knows, but it just for some reason, you know, we get hung up. We get hung up. So it's just the way it is. So you know, I'm just here to remind you guys of that. Like, I've been, you know, going through a lot. My family's been going through a lot, and like I said, it makes you think about your own mortality, let's be real, and how you would want to leave things, and just different things, you know. I have a child, you know. So I'm just yeah, you know, it's just I'm just trying to hang in there, you know. It's just really sad because my it's my dad's side of the both sides of the family have been affected. I mean when I say both sides, my mom's side, my dad's side, but the last my shit, my son's only seven, and in the last seven years, my whole my dad's side of the family, like, and when I'm talking side of the family, I'm talking about like immediate, meaning like his brothers, his uncles, which are like my great uncles and uncles, and some really close cousins. In the last seven years, this is what I'm saying, a decade makes a world of difference. In this one decade, this seven years, I know a decade's ten, y'all. Don't judge me. I'm you know, I know I kinda know what I'm saying, but in the last seven years on my dad's side, I have lost over five people. Over. Over, okay. Over. Just put the last one away last Saturday, which is a crazy one, you know? It's all crazy. But over in a seven-year period. Crazy, right? So, you know, I'm saying that and emphasizing on that because I'm just not saying that you all don't know that, but you know, we're busy, we go our day-to-day, and life, life is life. You know what I mean? Life is life, and life gets so busy that we do forget about these small things. We really do. So, you know, best I can say is appreciate your time with people. Like, it's just crazy because like I tell my husband, it's like I make sure I go to stuff that I'm like invited to with my family, etc. Friends including. When I say loved ones, just so y'all know, that includes friends. When I say loved ones, it's whoever's important to you. So I try to be at things, but I was telling my husband one thing I noticed. Let's say we go to something this month. Let's say it's something that's annual. Shit. Next year, the way my life has been lately with my family and dynamics, the next year, those same people aren't at that function, and it's not because they didn't want to show up, it's because maybe they're deceased or sick or something, you know what I mean? One of the saving graces that I can say that gives me some type of comfort, and this I might not even say this right, but with some of the deaths that happened in my family, they were unexpected to us, okay. So the the one good thing, and I say this without knowing, I haven't died, don't want to die, but you know, but they weren't sick, you know. One thing that is really hard, and I guess from being the caregiver of my father and just and like watching my granny and like other people in my family and loved ones in general, like to to go years sometimes just being sick and just not feeling your best and and fighting the good fight just for the end result to be what you were fighting against, in a sense, I feel is very saddening, you know, for all involved. And it it it's like getting your hopes up for nothing, you know. Even though, yes, you got more time with them, but what quality of life did they really have? It it's almost become selfish. So, one of the things that you know I'm grateful for for some of my family members that have passed, even though, yes, it's unexpected, so of course it hurts because you're like, what the hell? This came out of left field, but they didn't have to suffer to make that transition, and that can be a good thing because I know one thing I always say just from watching people who have suffered and and fight the good fight is like I don't want that for myself or my family, you know. That's what I say that that's a lot, you know. So I don't know, it's hard watching someone that's like, I remember, I remember I didn't understand the equation at the time, but I remember when my dad was sick, and this is like in the beginning, so like he still looked like himself, still was himself to a degree, and it's tough when it's your dad, because you know, men are very like masculine, they're strong, and as a child, I don't care what age you are, you look at your parent as like this like undestructible, indestructible uh being, you know what I mean? Like, you have so much trust in them, you have so much, you got so much faith in them, you know what I mean. Like, I think about my son. My son has zero fear or hesitation when it comes to us as his parents, which is a great thing, you know. And what I mean by that, like he'll just jump on his dad and just know his dad's gonna catch him, even though Jason has no idea this boy's about to jump on him. It's just that fear of I can jump, I know my dad's gonna catch me every time, no matter what. I'm not worried about falling on the floor, and that is a a great feeling. I'm glad my my child feels that way. I really am that trust. But when you're watching your parent go through something, and you you, as the child, your child, remember, so you have a certain level of faith in them. Like, oh, they're gonna beat this because they're my father, they're my mother, they're my this. So I remember my dad used to always go to Safeway by his house, he would because he could walk to it, you know, in later year, you know, later years he wasn't driving. Mind you, he wasn't that old, but having a brain tumor and stuff and radiation, etc. So he could walk to it, which which is nice. So, um, sometimes when I go over, you know, I walk with him over there, or we you know, we just he was very active, he would just walk in general. So, and so he's made a lot of friends over at the Safeway, and you know, which was so nice because he had a real community, he really did. Um, he had a real community. I'm I'm so grateful for that. So, anyways, it was this lady in there, she worked the deli, if I'm not mistaken. She's like, Oh yeah, he be in here getting his fruits and vegetables and stuff. She was giving me an update and everything. And you know, my dad's you know, walking around the store and me. I want to say my sister was with me. I'm not sure. Someone, I feel like someone was with me, and she was talking about her mom and how much she misses her mom and stuff, and her mom had cancer, and she said, best way I could describe it, it's like the prettiest peach. The prettiest peach. And she said she watched that pretty peach just start to rot and and get, you know, shrivel down, and you know, pretty much till it was no more. And at the time, you know, I understood it, don't get me wrong, her analogy, but I didn't understand it. You know what I mean? I didn't feel it. And yes, she's definitely correct. That's exactly what it reminds you of. A pretty peach. You know, it's so beautiful, and then it just starts to wilt away. And there's nothing you can do about it. And I thought that was one that analogy has stuck with me for as you hear I'm talking about it now, and my dad's been deceased April 15th will be seven years. Um the end of September will be eight years for my grandfather. So, you know, it does. So I say that to say, like, a heart attack taking me out, something quick like that, isn't it isn't the worst thing, you know. It isn't to me, to me. Again, I don't know. I don't know what's gonna happen or even how it's gonna happen. Um, and I hope and pray honestly that it's nowhere near soon. I I wanna be here, watch my son grow up, um, and you know, watch his milestones, watch him f flourish. And I pray, you know, me and my husband will be around to do that, you know. Everything's unpredictable. Um, but that's also why I like doing these podcasts, is because it's like you leave a little legacy out there, you know, something. But um, but yeah, so but yeah, so anyways, not try to make it sappy, but you I'm just saying you guys know what I've been through the past, you know, couple of weeks, but this is just that check-in. One, I wanna say thank you. Um, you know, thank you for still listening to me. I wanna get you know, I know I tell you guys how I appreciate you, but I want you to know that I appreciate you, you know. Thank you, and I'm seeing those numbers, you know what I'm saying? Thank you, thank you for all of that. Um it it it does, it means something. I'd be like, I'd be telling my husband like, oh my god, 85 downloads or 10 downloads, shit, one download. I'll be size, y'all. I'll be so happy. So thank you. You know, a lot of times I get on here, I don't have nothing to talk about. I just felt be feeling like talking, and I ain't talking about a damn thing, and y'all listen. So I'm appreciative of that. But um, one other thing, so on my platform that I do my podcast on, they have a uh new function on there for fan mail. So when my episode is going, or when you're listening to it, any of the episodes, feel free to there's um gonna be like a link or so in the comment or at the bottom of the description. Um, you can click that and text me. You know what I'm saying? If you wanna, and what I will do, you know, read through them if it's one about a topic, whatever, I'll you know, talk about it. Um, you know, if you have some opinions, if you have something you want me to say in one of my episodes, like if I get enough, like I'll make some episodes where it's just me reading different remarks that I'm getting back from you guys. So please use it. So they're always evolving the platforms to make it easier for us. Um, they still teach you how to make it polished and stuff like that, but y'all know where I'm at. I I'm I will never say never, but this is what y'all getting from me. All of the polishy and guys, guys, you know, I I'm just not there, you know. And if I have to do all that, that shit takes time editing and stuff. I just even when I'm like doing videos and pictures for family stuff, it's a lot, like I love y'all and all, but I feel it would take away from what I'm trying to do here. Um, and so I'm just appreciative that y'all are still listening because I know y'all can listen. There's so many podcasts out there, I know y'all can listen to one that sounds so crisp clean and no noise and vacuums in the background, me breathing ha ha ha. Like they have they have some nice polished ones. I hey, I commend them, you know what I mean. I'm not saying it's extremely hard, no, but I know myself and I know my limitations when something turns into a job. It it takes away from the hobby of why I got into it, it takes away from my authenticity, you look you know what I'm saying? So maybe if one day this my podcast can be monetized and get some sponsors, and maybe they can get me someone that can help me make it all nice and pretty. And hey, I'm all for it. But y'all, I don't get paid for this. This is truly my outlet. But hey, put it out in the universe. Maybe one day I will, and y'all gonna be like, hold up, she done changed it up, and y'all might be just gonna go back to the to what you was doing because you know, once you get sponsored and montage, I'm pretty sure my topics will be driven a different way, you know. I don't know, I don't know, but hey, willing to try. So whoever's listening, you know, I I'm always willing to try, but um, but yes, thank you guys, thank you, thank you, thank you. But um, yeah, so definitely use the fan mail function, and I'll get it, it'll come right to me, and I'll be able to, you know, respond to you all, which is I think super cool. And um, you guys can like always say, you know, provide some topics or conversations or or responses to something, or play devil's advocate to what I'm saying. Go ahead, you know. Again, what I talk about is my experiences, doesn't mean it's the fact, it's just something things I've been through or how I see it. So it's perspective. So, but you know, just remember to be nice and kind, you know, positive energy always. But I'm gonna end it there. But I definitely did want to tell you guys about the fan mail thing. Make sure you're doing your challenges, y'all. Take that 15 minutes, take that bath, relax, self-care, time with your family, put grudges away. Seriously. Sometimes when you look back on an issue that you might have that person, and you be like, damn, that was stupid. Let's be real, and then sometimes you're mad at someone, and they don't even freaking know you're mad at them, so you don't want to wasting the energy. So transparency is key to all relationships, but um, but yeah, so make sure, please do that challenge. Um, I am going to go take a walk and listen to my audible book and uh finish up this coffee, finish up some task, and enjoy the rest of my day. And guys, you're here with Madam Balou, Coffee with a Twist. I hope you enjoy your day and your week. Thanks for joining.