Parenting Doubt And Love

We talk through the love and doubt that come with parenting, including what it means to feel responsible for every decision as a special needs mom. Then we shift into real-life safety, decluttering, and life updates that reflect a busy season with more hope than heaviness. 

• reflecting on parenting as an “investment” and why that framing changes over time 
• naming the hardest part of parenting as uncertainty and second-guessing 
• sharing a scary pool moment and why adults must close safety gates 
• calling out basic courtesy at parks and pools as community safety 
• starting spring cleaning and a no-buy mindset to save money 
• using up hygiene products and purging what irritates your skin 
• organising DIY supplies and planning a garage and shed reset 
• building energy through exercise and small home projects 
• rotating toys and separating favourites from shared play toys 
• giving gratitude to an aging rescue dog and adapting care at home 
• celebrating a new job, upcoming AI course, and family reunion plans 

Don't forget, on each episode, there's a link um for fan mail. So if you click that, you can communicate with me. Feel free to give my overall um podcast a review.

Thanks for listening coffee with a twist.

Email me at: coffeewitatwist@gmail.com

Note: I don’t own copyrights to any music you hear in any of my episodes. 

Transcript

Welcome Back And Parenting Reflections

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey guys, welcome back to Coffee with a Twist. You're here with Madame Bellew. I hope you all had a great weekend and looking forward to your week. Uh I am driving, so I'm taking you guys along with me. I just had to drop something off at UPS, and I'm gonna go get my nails done next. So um, I hope you guys enjoyed the parenting episode with different perspectives. Um, I brought my sisters back online with us, and we got to talk about different um parenting styles and just different perspectives from each of us, as well as um my one sister who has no kids, um, the differences of being like an aunt and a mom, etc., and things that maybe she has seen that she might use, parenting styles, etc. Um, I just really hope you guys enjoyed that. Parenting is one of those things that I feel can never get old. I mean, we love our kids so much, even when they irk us and get on our nerves, but we love them, you know. It is definitely one of the best joys in life, you know, having a little one and watching them grow and progress and knowing that you were a part of that, that investment. Um word I never thought I would say. My dad used to always say kids are investments, and people would get very highly offended when he would say that. But you know, it's just one of those things, he's absolutely correct. It is an investment. And um, you know, I remember being younger when he would say that adults would get so mad at him, and oh, that's you know, because they're thinking of it like business, you know, thinking he's thinking it's business, it is an investment to sacrifice, you're putting your all into something. So there's a lot of crazy things or things that my dad would say and statements, and later on you're like, damn, he is definitely correct. So, and I think I had the chance to tell him that, you know, before he left us and uh went off to the heavens. But um, yeah, you know, I I love being a parent. Uh there's times I hate it as well, and um, and mainly the reason why I say I hate is because there's times where you're parenting and you don't know if you're doing the right things, you know what I mean? Am I really making the best decisions for my child? Um, especially me, I'm a special needs mom, and um it's it's different, and you know, there's there's certain things like I have done and it backfires, it's like he's like, oh hell no, I don't want this or that. So, you know, you beat yourself up. Um so you you just don't know, and that's the part I hate. Um, being so responsible for someone and don't knowing without knowing if it's the right vision or decision or recommendation, suggestion, whatever. It's it's just hard. It's hard to being a parent. It's you know, it's one of the hardest jobs in the world, but one of the most fulfilling ones as well. So I really hope you guys uh enjoyed it. Um and throughout, you know, the seasons and things, I'll you know, continue discussing. Okay, there's uh Ambly's behind me that you guys are hearing, so all right, so they went by. Um, but yeah, so it's great. Um,

Why Safety Gates Must Stay Closed

SPEAKER_00 3:55

I took my son to the playground yesterday, and I don't know if any other parents experienced this, but for instance, me personally, if I am taking my child to a specific park, so I typically take him to the ones that are like um gated, secure that way it's like one way in, one way out. Yes, I'm that crazy parent. I like to be able to see all around me and ensure his safety as well as you know my own and things like that because a lot of times just me and him going, and the one thing that pisses me off, and I noticed this even with pools. I remember one time when we were he was a little younger, we went to a pool, and you know, they have a baby pool, and I'm like, okay, great, it's gated, and it has like two ways to get in. So oh my god, I was so pissed. So my thing is it's a baby pool, it has fence around it, it's locked for a reason, you know what I mean? So it really kills me, and these are adults that are doing this shit. So, why when you leave in and out of something, you don't close it behind you? Like, there's a reason that that's there, and I'll never forget that day. So, you know, he was playing at the baby pool, and there's two ways of getting in, and um, he went out, someone left the gate open, so he went out there, and he's running to the deep end, and I'm like clear across the way, and like he was over there with my husband and stuff at the time, and you know, no one's noticing this shit, and I'm yelling and running, and he's fast boy. Oh my god, and I like to think about oh my god, he's gonna go right into war. He was young, he was like two or three, like he didn't know anything about like depth, meaning like the deep end and things like that. So I'm screaming and running. I was so pissed. I left after that because I'm like if it's gated, lo you know, close, if you leave out of there, close it behind you. You come in, close it behind you. No, they kept leaving it open. I was highly pissed, and I noticed that happens at a lot of places like that. Parents are just and parents are worse than the than the kids, and they're just never um, you know, I I just feel like they should have more courtesy, even if you don't feel your child needs that safety net up. Well, other people might be in that area and and going to this particular park or pool because of those safety measures, you you know, so it's just very uh inconsiderate, I feel, you know. That's just me. But um, yeah, I'll never forget that day. I was so pissed and never been back to that pool. Um, you know, it just yeah, it it just it's not cool, but um, yeah, one of those days you hate being a bear and you're like but um but yeah, so we um I've you know gate I haven't put out an episode in while I was giving people time to like catch up because I feel I was putting out

Spring Cleaning And The No Buy Push

SPEAKER_00 7:14

a lot. I'm trying to stay consistent. Um I'm happy to say I'm switching jobs, which I'm really excited for. I start next week, so I have um been getting stuff ready. My body is sore, so I did like some spring cleaning. I did over 15,000 steps just in my house for one day on Sunday. I was cleaning and going through things, and the thing is the sad thing about it is I'm not even done, but then it was so dusty, and I felt so bad because I like irritated my son's allergies, but it needed to be done, you know. So I've been going through crap, spring cleaning. I'm like, man, I got a lot of shit. So I'm on this journey for like the next hopefully I can do it for a whole year, but it's like don't buy anything else. We probably have it, you just have to find it. And if you have to find it, that means you have too much shit. So we need to really start purging and and going through our stuff. So I am doing it, I'm encouraging you all to do it as well. Do this journey with me, and you'll probably be surprised when you go through. Just like take like your hair care stuff or your or your um body, your hygiene stuff, just in general. And I bet you have stuff in there that you know you brought and it got pushed to the back, and this use that shit up, guys. Use it, even if you don't love the smell, use it. It's soap, it's water. I mean, soap, it's lotions, it's whatever. Use it up before you buy anything else. Only unless it irritates your skin, and if it irritates your skin, it probably should not even be in your your closet, your pantry, whatever, your bathroom, utility closet, whatever the hell it's called, wherever you keep it. So I'm challenging you guys still. I'm all these damn challenges. I'm challenging you all to take a few minutes a week to self-care. I'm challenging you to purge or you know, use what you have. Try not to shop, it's a great way to save money as well. But you need to do it, like, just do it, guys. Um, I am trying it as well. That's kind of my thing. So, and I mean, I'm not not just with hygiene stuff, I'm starting there, but like we have stuff in our house, like we do a lot of DIYs, and what happens is we're not putting stuff like backup on the shelves and stuff properly and stuff, so then you go to look for it, you can't find it. So, guess what we do? We go out and buy it because we don't want to look for it and see that it's buried, etc. So I am really trying my hardest now to like my next thing. I want to go through our garage. I want to we have an outdoor shed that we need to put together. I've been telling my husband to do it forever. Have a feeling I'm gonna have to hire someone to do it or go out there and do it my damn self, but um, you know, so that we can clear out the garage because a lot of the stuff that's in the garage is like lawn care stuff that can really go in the shed for outside, and that way it gives us more space on the inside, and you know, allow us to be able to like put things on shelf, label it, what it is, you know, ease of use. Because a lot of reasons why we're just throwing stuff in our garage is because it's a hot mess, and you just we just add on to the mess, you know what I mean? So, um, I definitely need to like go through the storage and uh I mean sorry, the the garage as best as I can. Um, plus I'm getting some flooring delivered because I want to get the floors done in the basement. I'm all over the place, guys. But I had this like newfound energy. I'm like back in Zoom, I'm back exercising, which is so exciting for me. Um, you know, I don't I exercise to try to stay healthy. Yes, I need to shed some pounds. If it happens, it'll be great. But you know, I I enjoy the classes, it's fun. Um, so all of those things, you know, it it helps like get this energy out, and then when you're done, it looks so good. So I've been um also like doing stuff purging stuff in my son's room. You know, I typically do that anyway, like with his clothes and stuff when we pass them down. Um, I'm doing similarly with the toys as well, but I do that method, I don't know what it's called, but pretty much where my son used to get a ton of toys and things like that from myself, family members, friends. So I would pack them away and bring them back out, like it's new, you know. After you know, because he plays with something, something's uh so I, you know, take it away, then reintroduce it. So I have a ton of toys and stuff, and ones that like if I've pulled it out more than twice, like two to three times, and he's still kind of not interested. I put that with the pile of toys that everyone can play with. Meaning, like when friends and family come over, those kids can play with it. I tend to not toys that my son really likes. Um, I tend to keep those ones upstairs in his room for his play and his leisure to play with whom he chooses to because we all know kids are rough with toys. And kids, a toy that they love that's theirs, they'll take care of it. But someone else's probably not. So I would hate for someone else to break his toy that he really enjoys. So toys he doesn't care that much about. I leave those in the play area where any kid can play with it that way. If it's broken, it's not a big deal. He's not having a fit, I'm not trying to find it again, etc. So um things like that. But um, yeah, it's just crazy, you know. The little the little tricks you find, you know, to reintroduce these toys or whatever it is. So I have been doing that, going through his toys. Um, some of it that I've been doing has to wait until we like redo the basement, and that's again, no rush. Um, we got the one side of the basement, it's done, been completed, but the side where my dog is at, my dog, I have to give her a shout-out. My pretty girl Layla, my pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty girl is about to be 19 years old, and she looks good, y'all. She looks good. Um, you know, she has some arthritis and things like that. You know, her eyes, she's going blind, deaf, all of the above. But she's she's still kicking it with us. Of course, she's not as got the girth that she used to have, she's skinnier, and she's hanging on. I mean, last year, I'm not gonna lie, I thought we were gonna have to put her down. Like, she was seemed to be struggling. I don't know if it was depression, allergies, I don't know what it was, and I'm like, ugh, and um something just turned. She like got pep in her step, and um, she is still with us, and I am so happy and thankful she's still with us. I really am. Um, yeah, she can't do stairs and stuff anymore, so that's why she just we keep her in the basement in her comfort zone. Um, so she doesn't have to do stairs. The walkout basement's there, she can go in and out, um, play outside and stuff. She won't even walk upstairs on the deck. Like, she's like, stairs are just not my thing. Every once in a while, she thinks she's young again and will attempt stairs, but it's not good for her. So I encourage her to stay downstairs. Um, because a lot of times she just falls all the way down, like her hind legs are weak, but she's getting around. I mean, it's crazy. Um, we'll we'll just see how long she goes. Again, I'm not rushing it. So even like the flooring and stuff I got, I got it because it was on sale, it was a great sale, so and I liked it, so I was like, well, let me just buy it and have it, and when the time comes, you know, I'll I'll be able to have it and get it redone. So when we redo the basement, uh lot of the chaotic mess I have too will be spread out because we don't really put anything on that side, you know, it's mainly all her stuff, it's all about her, her TV, her bed, um, her blankets, her food bowl, things like that. Like she's sitting in a nice 600 square feet little apartment, you know. But um, yeah, I have to give her her shout out. My pretty, pretty girl. I've had her a long time, a long time, and uh, she was a rescue, so she's 19. I've had her a good 18 and a half of it. I think didn't know her exact age, but she was like between four and six months, four and eight months when I got her, so she was a rescue, but um, yeah, I'm yeah, I'm just so surprised that you know I I still have her, like she's still around. I'm thankful for it. Not you know, just like with parenting, some days I'm like, uh, you know, but she's at that age, she has many accidents in the house. Um, it's just you know, the way it goes when she eats, she's definitely gotta go to the bathroom. But um, she she's hanging in there, so uh yeah, but no, I just wanted to jump on

New Job Plans, Gratitude, And Wrap

SPEAKER_00 16:45

here. I'm I'm having a feeling great today. I have I'm having a good day. Um, it's crappy outside, but um, you know, I just wanted to jump in and hope you guys are enjoying the episodes I'm putting out. Don't forget, on each episode, there's a link um for fan mail. So if you click that, you can communicate with me. I'll get them in real time and can respond and things like that. Can build that rapport. Feel free to give my overall um podcast a review. Um, I'm all you know, whatever, you know. Um, I would appreciate it. And just as of course, thank you for always listening. I mean, I get on here, I know I ramble, I'm all over the place. Today I feel like I'm all over the place, but like I said, I feel good. My son's been doing really good in school. Um things the needle feels to be moving. Some summer's coming up. I'm excited about my new job. Um, I'll give you guys updates on that. Um, it's it's um it's an enhancement for my career. Um, it's definitely something a little bit more than what I was doing. So, you know, I'm nervous, excited, just hope I can live up to it. Um, but yeah, I'm I'm just I'm just really excited to start this uh next phase. I'm also um doing an AI course that starts the middle of May. Um in the evenings, I I have that going as well. So we have um so I'm gonna be pretty busy coming up, and I got a couple other classes, and these classes I had signed up for before I even got the job, so it's like uh, but it but it's okay. I want to finish because it still enhances my career and you know um my resume. Hopefully, it will enhance my growth with the new company I'm going to as well. And then, you know, I'm also highly excited for my husband, um, his family on his mother's side. They're doing a family reunion uh this June, the beginning of June. So we will be down there um like the first week or two, first week, first couple of weeks of June. So um I'm excited for him to you know to see his family and things like that. He doesn't see his family nearly as much as I do. My family's local, his is not. Um so he they might talk on the phone here and there, but he doesn't like really see his family. So I'm really excited for him to see his family. Um, you know, as you guys know, the the hell my family has been through since last June. We've been just hit, hit, hit. So it's nice to go to something exciting and uplifting and positive and celebrating the living versus celebrating, you know, a homegoing. So uh, you know, I'm really happy for him to be with his family and pictures and things, and as well as for my son to meet and see a lot of his family as well. So really excited about it. Um, I have to put some um my husband wanted me to put together these like little party favor things, so I got all that settled and I got everything I needed for it, so I need to put those together. So pretty much what I'm saying is I'm gonna be busy these next this next month. This next month is gonna be busy, but it's alright. Um, it's all good things, it really is. So I'm gonna put those baggies together for him. I'm doing my classes, it's the last month of school. Uh so yeah, there's a good bit of stuff, you know, that's gonna be going on, and um I'm just you know excited, you know. Um it seems like it's hard to be excited because you're like, is the next shoe gonna drop? But I'm excited to be excited for once. Um but yeah. Anyways, I'm gonna end it here. I'm gonna go and get my nails done. But I hope you guys had an excellent weekend and a great week. Madame Balloon coffee with a twist.