Nineteen Years Of Love And One Hard Morning

Nineteen years is a lifetime with a dog, and saying goodbye can stop you cold even when you know it’s coming. We sit down for a short, heartfelt check-in as Madam Ballou shares the passing of Leliah , her red-nosed pit bull, and the wave of grief and gratitude that hit the same morning. If you’ve ever searched for “pet loss support,” “grieving a dog,” or “how to cope when your dog dies,” this story will feel familiar in the most human way. 

We talk about what made Leliah’s final days different: a peaceful transition at home, the bittersweet relief of knowing her arthritis and daily struggles are over, and the complicated emotions that come with not wanting to “play God.” We also reflect on how much our pets protect us, shape our routines, and become part of our identity as dog parents. Leliah wasn’t just a dog in the house, she was family, and we honor the memories that prove it. 

You’ll also hear how loss ripples through a family, especially when kids have known the dog their whole lives. We share what we’re noticing in our children’s reactions, how grief can look totally different from one person to the next, and why coping sometimes means staying busy or even changing your space so your mind can breathe. 

If you’re carrying fresh grief or supporting someone who is, press play and sit with us for a few quiet minutes. Subscribe for more real-life conversations, share this with a fellow dog lover, and leave a review with one way you honor a pet you’ve lost.

Thanks for listening coffee with a twist.

Email me at: coffeewitatwist@gmail.com

Note: I don’t own copyrights to any music you hear in any of my episodes. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey guys, welcome back to Coffee with a Twist. You're here with Madam Bellou. Hope you guys are having an excellent week and looking forward to your weekend. This episode will not be long. I just wanted to get on here and express my love and gratitude to my dog, Layla. She has transitioned this morning. Um, and she is 19 years old, or shall I say she was 19 years old. I have never had a dog this long. Uh, she started her transitioning yesterday, and um, you know, it's it's bittersweet. Um, I've never had a dog that kind of went out on their own with the old age, and I'm used to, you know, taking them to the vet and having to put them down, which is something I don't like either, because I don't like playing God. But um, yeah, she transitioned pretty much this morning. Um, and you know, I'm just thankful for her. She's my last pet outside of plants, and you know, I just wanted to express, you know, that I'm just so happy she was a part of our family um all these years, that we have such great memories, and I just hope and pray that she felt she had a good life with us as well. Um you just never know. Uh she seems very happy. Um, but you know, I just hope that we were the family that she would want, you know. Um, you know, they don't get to choose their families fully, but I'm just thankful that she was a part of us and that we got to share so many years with her. My son loves her, my stepson loves her. Um, they've known her. My son's known her his whole life, and my stepson's known her since he was two years old to going on three, so pretty much their whole life. My husband even has become very attached to her, and um I'm just thankful that we got to have her as our dog, and you know, and I'm just thankful that up here where we live now currently that she enjoyed it, like the backyard and getting to be a dog, and you know, she's killed a lot of wildlife back there. She got to be her natural instinct self, and um I'm just thankful. I'm just thankful for her, and it's very sad, but it's also like bittersweet because she was old, and um I'm sure the day-to-day was very challenging for her walking, eating, even um her arthritis. So even though it's a little sad, it's also a celebration because I know she's no longer suffering, and she's with her partners in crime, which would be my father and um my other dog, Bear. Um, my dad was involved with both dogs, but Bear, I think, as you guys know, um, was my dad's dog. So that one really hit me kind of hard when he had passed, mainly because it was shortly after my dad, and it just brought up that and those memories. Um, but yeah, I just wanted to get on here and you know, she lived 19 years, so I think it's worth a public announcement, even though many of you listen, and I'm thankful for y'all. It's not like you know, make news or anything. I don't have followers, you know, that much many people following me. Um, but I'm thankful for the ones that do, and for anyone on here that is a dog mom or dog

Welcome And A Hard Update

SPEAKER_00 4:29

dad, dog parent, dog sister brother. You know what this is like. Um, it's just different. I did not think, like in my mind, I was like, yeah, if she goes, I want it to be here at

Saying Goodbye To Layla

SPEAKER_00 4:42

home and on her own. But then I was also like, I don't want that because you know, I don't want to wake up and she's, you know, deceased. Um actually, this was very peaceful. She looks very peaceful, she looks like she's just resting. Um she didn't suffer, you know, she started her transitioning yesterday, probably even the day before, to be honest. But what I'm most grateful for, which I'll put another episode out, we were away on vacation, so my cousin was watching

Choosing Peace Over Control

SPEAKER_00 5:17

her, and I remember being on vacation, and I was like, again, she's old, so I these things crossed my mind, and I'm like, please just don't die with my cousin. You know what I mean? I would hate for my cousin to have to go through that. And um, we got back here Tuesday night, and she gave us two days with her, basically, and then this morning was it. So she waited for us, and I'm thankful that she waited for us because I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. Um again, this is new for us in this sense, so we have to uh handle it all. But um, my oldest is very sad, but he he will be okay. Um he has an understanding of her suffering, like meaning her old age and stuff. He he could see it. Um my my younger, his emotions are different. He's his emotions aren't there like that. Something that we're working on with him. He needs more emotion, in my opinion. But um, yeah, I'm I know um my younger, he he misses Bear a lot. Um, he speaks of him often, so I think it just has to take him some time. But yeah, I just wanted to get on here because I felt she's important enough to us that she needs her public announcement. And um, yeah, she's a beautiful dog, she was a red-nosed pit. Uh she has protected this family, she has loved this family, she's been a part of this family, and we are just thankful for her and that she allowed us to be her family. It is just an honor to be a part of our family.

A Life Of Protection And Joy

SPEAKER_00 7:32

I just love that she was a part of our family, and it will be it hurts, but um I know she's she's much better now, and she's with the right people up there looking after her. And um, I'm just thankful we got her this long, in all honesty. Um so I know me uh this weekend. I'm the type when things like this happen, or things because I did even with bear, like with bear, I couldn't do it. Um, my husband is the one that took her took him and um I left. I went on vacation. I left and went to California. Um, I'm extreme. Yes, yes, guys. I'm very extreme. I need that, that's what works for me. So um, I already know this weekend I'm probably gonna like redo my whole basement and things, painting and everything. That's just how I cope. Um, the busyness, and I need the space to look different than it did. I did the same with my dad. Um, my dad did not die here in my home, but I had the dining room made up as his room, and um when he passed, and I had to redo that room and make it look like a dining room again and stuff to like clear my mind because I would always just walk past there and I kept looking for him and stuff. So we all have our things and how we cope. Um, but uh that's how I cope. I have to I have to change the space. I know some people like to keep the space the same because it's like, oh, this is this, and you know, respect, you do what you gotta do. But for me, I I typically have to change the space. So I probably will start changing the space um tomorrow, to be honest. Um

She Waited Until We Returned

SPEAKER_00 9:39

we'll see, we'll see when I go down there how I feel and things like that. But um, yeah, the space, I gotta change it, I gotta paint it, I gotta, you know. Um, but yeah, that was my dog, and I have a nice beautiful picture up on the wall of her. And I just it's a very I had I've had very good dogs, and she's one of them. But um, I'm gonna end it here. Sorry to get on here with some like somber news, but um this is what's going on in my life, you know? This is where I'm at this morning. This is this is my life this morning, and um

Helping Kids Grieve In Their Way

SPEAKER_00 10:22

we're we're gonna be okay. Um it's a beautiful day. It's Friday. I'm about to drink some coffee. Um and we're gonna go from there. That's really all we can do, you know? Um, 19 years, guys. I mean, 19 years. That's that's a long time for a dog. So it's sad, but need it, you know. Imagine that. I I'm I'm sure she was in a lot of uh pain and different things like that, even though she didn't show it. But uh yeah, it's just crazy watching it. That's all, you know. It was different. It's also quite amazing, you know, how our bodies are and how God has made us. So yeah, it's uh different, very different experience for me this morning and my family. But anyways, I'm gonna sign off here and get my coffee, start my day as best as I can because I'm still gonna go to work today and everything. But um thank you for listening. I'm thankful for you all, and I hope you guys are gonna have a great weekend and it's a beautiful day. Thanks for sig uh thanks for listening. Coffee with a twist, Madam Ballou.