Returning After Loss With Real Life Updates

Grief doesn’t stay in your heart, it lives in your calendar, your routines, and even the rooms you walk through every day. We’re back on Coffee With a Twist with a raw life update on why we went quiet for a few weeks and what it’s like returning after saying goodbye to Layla, our 19-year-old dog. We talk honestly about how a pet can be family, how death can bring up older losses, and why those memories can feel both comforting and heavy at the same time. 

We also share the practical side of healing: redoing the basement space that used to be hers, changing the environment so it doesn’t look exactly like the version we’re stuck replaying in our heads. If you’ve ever tried to “push through” grief while still parenting, working, and keeping the house running, you’ll recognize this balancing act. We’re also looking ahead to a small out-of-town break, because sometimes rest is not a luxury, it’s maintenance. 

On the rebuild side, we get into what’s helping us regain momentum right now: a weekend AI course that’s stretching our brain in a good way, plus a more consistent gym routine with Zumba and step aerobics. We keep the nutrition talk realistic too, focusing on eating earlier, adding more vegetables, and learning to stop at satisfied instead of overly full. We wrap with what’s coming next, including a 60 to 90 day Tesla update, and ways you can connect with us directly. 

If you enjoyed the honesty and want more episodes like this, subscribe, share Coffee With a Twist with a friend, leave a review, and send us a note through fan mail. What part of your life are you rebuilding right now?

Thanks for listening coffee with a twist.

Email me at: coffeewitatwist@gmail.com

Note: I don’t own copyrights to any music you hear in any of my episodes. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Hey guys, welcome back to Coffee with a Twist. You're here with Madam Balou. I hope everyone is having a great week. Looking forward to their weekend. I hope the past few weeks have been good to you. I know I've been MIA for about three weeks, going on four weeks. I was doing really good with these episodes. I was putting them out once a week, sometimes twice a week, which was great because even my numbers were like going up like crazy with uh, you know, people um tuning in. Um something to really celebrate. I now have 92 countries and territories and 435 cities that have tuned into me at some point, and I've even gained a couple of um new listeners. So thank you all for coming to my podcast and listening. Welcome. Um I hope you take a moment to like listen to like my first couple of episodes, and you will understand why my podcasts and my episodes are not polished. Um I'm literally just a person on the phone talking. Um that's what has worked for me, and I'm so thankful to everyone that has accepted me. Um I love this, I love doing this. This is a way for me to kinda uh be able to talk and talk about maybe what I'm feeling or what's on my mind or something I thought about or something that's happened to me. Um I started this when I was a stay-at-home mom, so it was also stimulating for me. Um so yeah, just take a moment and listen to my earlier episodes and like kind of explain the whole purpose of this podcast and kind of what to expect. You know, I'm not polished, I don't do edits. You may hear my son or so in the background. Um, I don't do music anymore. Um, for now, it's copyright and things like that. And um again, I'm not getting into all of that. I might try to find like a jingle or something. Maybe get my mom to write something and compose something for me for my um Coffee with a Twist. I actually might do that, have her make a little jingle even for like the intro that is mine and get it copyrighted. So that's something to think about. But um yes, I have missed you all. Um I'm so sorry I haven't been on one. Uh if you guys listened to my last episode, you know, my last pet Layla passed away. She was 19 years old. So it's definitely sad, but also like wow, she was 19 years old. Um I did an episode the same day she passed, because again, that was what was on my chest. Um and then from there it's just been um she, you know, redoing her area. Um she had um one half of the basement, which was her area. Mainly it's like rancher style for her, her little house, mainly because with her age, her arthritis and stuff, and doing stairs, it was easy for her to get in and out of the house that way. Just allowed her to have more freedom. Um, so we have been redoing that space. Um that is just how I can that helps me. I need to change the space um so it looks different than I remember. So that's what we've been doing for the past three weeks. Um this week all the flooring

Welcome Back And A Quick Reset

SPEAKER_00 4:29

should be done and the bathroom, and then we have to do some molding, and I'm installing a beverage bar. So once though and a little bit of painting, like some touch-up painting, um, and fixing up like the staircasing and stuff, um, patching some stuff up from when we did have her, and you know, when she was a tad bit younger and would, you know, do some things. So um we've been working on that type of stuff and just life, you know. Um it's summer, so you have like camps and basketball camps and the running around, working, you know, stuff like that. So, and currently where I work, we're going through like a transition, so it's been really, really, really, really busy. Um, but yeah, so I just wanted to get on here and let you guys know I'm back. Um, I will be putting out some more episodes um this weekend. I am going to well, actually, I won't say anyone here just in case this particular person listens to me. But I it I will tell you guys about it when I get back. But I'm going out of town this weekend for something, so

Why The Podcast Stays Unpolished

SPEAKER_00 5:58

it will be really nice to get a little break because my son and husband's not going with me, just me and my mother. So it'll be nice to like sleep in, have a bed to myself, um, don't have to be in mommy mode. So before leaving, I've been, you know, getting some things done around the house, um, you know, doing things that you know need to be done for them while I'm gone. So I'm really looking forward to that. I'm so excited. Like, I'm excited to go. Of course, when I'm away from them, I'm like, oh, but I need the break. I really do need a break right now, mentally, physically, all the things. Um, what else have I been up to these past three weeks? I'm taking an AI course that started about two weeks ago on the weekends. Uh it's 10 to 1. That's a very interesting class. I'm loving it so far. I will miss it this weekend, but I can watch the recordings. Um, so you know, guys, I've been busy, and then um what else? What else? AI classes, work. Oh, and then I've been going to the gym a lot more. So you guys know out. You guys already know I do Zumba. So a few months ago, I started. Um, I went on ahead. We have a gym membership. So now I'm doing more than just Zumba. Unfortunately, I can't go to the Zumba class that I really, really love and really want to go to. The times just don't work out

Grief After Losing Layla

SPEAKER_00 7:38

anymore with my me and my husband's schedule with having our young child, he won't sit there for it. So, and it's at like a school and things like that, there's no child care, so I can't take my Monday and Wednesday night classes with the Zumba person that I love taking Zumba with. So at the gym, they offer Zumba, they offer Pilates, they they offer all these things. So, right now I'm doing uh Monday night Zumba. Tuesday night I do step aerobics, and boy oh boy, it is awesome, it is awesome. Um, she does it Tuesdays and Saturdays, so once my uh Saturday AI class is over, I am gonna try to go to her step class on Saturdays only when I don't go to my regular Zumba class. So I go to a couple of different places, so I'm doing steparobics, um, Zumba, just a couple of different things, mixing it up. Um, with along with that, um trying to eat better. When I say eat better, for me, I actually do eat pretty decent. One

Remodeling Her Space To Heal

SPEAKER_00 8:50

of my problems that I know is like I'll eat late. Um, I'll eat to get like entirely too full. So I'm trying to eat earlier is one. I'm trying to fill my plate with more of vegetables and things, and smaller one, the stuff that's not so good for you, but you know, still incorporating it because I can't do like a straight diet, that ain't gonna work. So I'm still eating the things I like, I'm just eating less of it, and also the other way I'm trying to eat is I'm just eating to get satisfied, not to get extremely full. Um, again, that's some because you know, sometimes you sit down to eat after like four bites, and I'm when I say bites, it might be big bites, um, four to five bites. A lot of times you're pretty satisfied. You might not be like full, but you're probably satisfied where you're good for a little bit. So that's what I'm trying to do because me, I'll get satisfied and I keep going.

A Solo Trip And Needing Rest

SPEAKER_00 10:02

Not that like I have a food problem, I do love food, but it's not like uh addiction to food, but I do enjoy eating, I enjoy trying things, I explore with food, so I'm just trying to do better. I can still explore, but I'm just trying to do better with satisfaction. So eat until I'm satisfied, um, which is typically, you know, quite you know, about a few bites depending on what you're eating. You know, meat, of course, with like when I eat salads, vegetables, stuff like that. Uh, you know, I'm still eating until I'm satisfied, but what I mean is it's more bulky, you kind of balk it up, so it's a good bit of that you can eat before you're satisfied. Um, getting that nourishment. So I've been trying a couple of different things. So the last few weeks have been busy. Um, emotional, all the things you know. This is my last pet, and I know for some it's like it's just a dog. Yes, it is just a dog, but that dog is my family, and that dog has been in my life with some very huge milestones,

Weekend AI Class And Curiosity

SPEAKER_00 11:15

good and bad. Um, she has impacted many of my family members' lives, as well as when death happens, it brings up death. Um, my dad really loved my two dogs, he was all in with these dogs. I mean, I got stories galore, so it's things like that, especially with me not having my father, and then thinking

Gym Routine And Eating With Intention

SPEAKER_00 11:43

back on like some of the things that the two of them did, and some crazy stories. He has them all out at the creek and different things. It was it's just emotional, um, happy memories. I'm glad I have them, but death brings up death. And if you guys have been following me, it's been a lot of that for me. Um, in the past 16 months at least. So even though, yes, it's just a dog to some, it is just a dog, but it's my family, and there's a lot of stories and histories that go with her and what she was a part of in our household within our family, etc. So, um, you know, and then you know, I have kids, so that's also you know, their emotions, and they have to deal with this, and you know, so it's it's a whole thing. Um, so I had to, you know, regroup a little. I had to take a step back from some things and um get get things together, and um, we're getting there. And like I said, for me, redoing the space has been very helpful for me. So, me redoing the basement, knowing she's never been in the basement in the way it's about to look. I don't know why. It just it just helps me. It just helps me um with everything. Um, again, like I told you guys last episode, I've never experienced um a dog dying the way that she did. It was actually very peaceful. It's kind of nice in a weird way, but um, you know, I'm used to the whole thing, they get sick, you go to the vet, boom. Um, you know, she died here at home with with family, and um we got to put her away nicely, so it was just a little different. So it's you know, that in itself is a weird milestone, if you want to call it a milestone or phase in everyone in my household's life. So yes, so this episode was just to let you guys know I am back, let you guys kind of quickly know what I'm up to, and start expecting me to put out episodes again. Um, I was doing good like once a week, so I want to get back to that and um kind of give you guys where I'm at and what's going on. Uh, my next episode that I do may be a third video on my Tesla. Um, as you guys know, again, if you go back, I did um part one and a part two, and I told you guys I'll give you all another update. I think I said in a few months, um, but I want to give you all like a 60 to 90 day update because there's some more things I've learned, so that one won't be too long, but I told you guys I would give you the experience, the buying experience, and experience of having a Tesla. Um, so yeah, so I'm gonna give you guys one more episode of that of like the whole buying experience and the first few months of it, and then probably in a year, once I've had it at least a year, give you you know my updated uh review on it. Um, but yeah, so that will probably be the next one, and then we'll go into my normal stuff or rambles,

When Loss Brings Up Older Losses

SPEAKER_00 15:26

whatever have you. Man, that plane is very low. I'm at home. Um, but yes, so thank you for sticking with me and to all the new listeners. Welcome. I hope you stick around. Uh, feel free to shoot me a review. Um, we have fan mail on the episodes now, so feel free at any time to shoot me a hey or ideas or something to talk about, ask me a question. Um, you know, that's what we're here for. So use that, click the link, and it comes directly to me so I'll see it and be able to respond to you, or depending on what um what you guys send to me, depending on what it is, I may turn it into an episode. Um with your permission, of course. Um, if it's questions or so, you know, about me or something like that, I will share those. Um, maybe do an episode about it. But yes, please use the fan mail um link so that we can stay connected. Um, yeah, so let me jump off of here. I'm tired of saying um that's something I've really been trying to take out of my vocabulary. Uh to this particular episode, I'm really saying it a lot. I don't know why. I think I'm like nervous to be back. That's the weirdest thing. I'm like nervous to be back. Why? It's it's mine, it's my podcast. I don't know. So let me get off of here. Instead of saying, um, I need to just be silent for the moment, right? It's like you're just trying to fill the air, letting the other know that maybe you're thinking. I don't know. So I'm really getting off this time. Thank you so much for supporting me. I hope you guys have an excellent week, uh, even better um weekend and spend it with friends, family, relax, whatever it is. Enjoy it. Thank you for joining Coffee with the Twist, Madam Balloon.