Glaze and Grit

Kathy Schommer: Founder and Owner of Fargo Mom (Episode 07)

• Jessi Woinarowicz • Season 1 • Episode 7

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Kathy Schommer  is the founder and owner of Fargo Mom, a locally-focused parenting website that was launched in January 2020 written by Fargo moms, for Fargo moms. 

Kathy’s professional journey began in marketing and communications along with earning her master’s degree in Social Work. Her work helping children and families, dedicating her time to organizations supporting mothers, along with being a mother herself led to the passion of forming Fargo Mom in 2019.  

Kathy is an incredibly talented woman, with a drive and passion to ensure all moms feel supported in their journey as a mother.  Friends, I am looking forward to sharing Kathy’s journey with you. I know you will feel supported and encouraged by her story. 

Kathy is mom to three little girls: June, Lucy, and Margot. 

“Everyone’s motherhood journey is unique, and no one person can judge someone else for that journey. Support and encouragement help change the world. Judgement and criticism does not.”

— Kathy Schommer

To connect with Kathy and Fargo Mom: 

Speaker 1:

Try not to lose too much of yourself in motherhood, kind of along the lines of, again, focusing on your kids. Sometimes it's easy to forget about things that you enjoy and things that you like to do. And so I would definitely tell moms to, even if it's reading a book or listening to music or anything that like makes you feel like you and reminds you even of your pre-baby self and who that woman is and who you still are. I would really advise moms to cling to that and hang on to that and pursue your, continue to pursue your hobbies and be true to who you are

Speaker 2:

Plays and grid podcast was founded on the idea of shattering success, perceptions, and showcasing authenticity at its core. It's about sharing our successes and achievements while not glazing over the grit and hard work that defined our remarkable journey. What emerges through these candid conversations is strength and courage with the ripple effect of connection and community. All right here in my backyard of Fargo, North Dakota, it all starts with a conversation and honest one. I'm Jessie, winter Robbins, and this is glazing Brit on today's date

Speaker 1:

Episode. My guest is the founder and owner of Fargo mom, a locally focused parenting website that was launched in January, 2020 written by Fargo moms for Fargo moms. She is mom of three children, five and under tune Lucy and Margo. She's an incredibly talented woman with that drive and passion to ensure all moms feel supported in their journey. As a mother friends, I'm thrilled to be able to share more Kathy's Schommer story with you. We dive right in as to why she decided to step out and start Fargo. Mom. Here's Kathy Schommer Kathy. Thank you so much for being on the podcast. I want to start out by asking, what was the driving factor for you for starting Fargo? Mom? I first got the idea and I shouldn't even say I got the idea. I was living in Jacksonville, Florida prior to moving here to Fargo. So just, and we've been here two years now and there was a website in town. I was in Jacksonville, Florida. There was a Jacksonville mom there. I learned more about not only did I follow it and use the resources, user event calendars to find things to do with kids. Um, but I started to follow more about them. I did a few writing pieces for them as well, just as a guest writer and found out that they are under a larger parent network called city mom collective. And so it's through that network, um, that there are nearly a hundred sites like Fargo mom throughout the country. And so I can't, well, I can't take the idea for it. I was inspired while living down there and feeling so connected and finding so valuable. I was inspired to start the same thing up here in Fargo. When we moved here in 2018, I got a feel for the community and what if it would be helpful if it was needed? And then short years later we are, and it was lunch. So yeah. So 30 plus writers, a website to manage social media, starting a business. And this is just on the professional side, that those big buckets, not to mention your spouse, your stay-at-home mom, managing a household, your mom to five year old twins and a two year old. Do you have any tips or strategies that you've found to be helpful? When so many parents times and moms times are a little tad with competing priorities, this is going to seem like a strange answer given our current circumstances. But definitely I would say, ask for help. I know we're in a weird time where that maybe is impossible or maybe looks different if you can, or if we get to a time where all things can be a little more normal, again, definitely ask for any and all help that you can lean on the people that are already there supporting you in different areas of your life. We did have a sitter a little bit here and there this summer, which helped. And, you know, she was just so valuable to our family. My parents kind of help out here and there, but again, being in a vulnerable category with, with the pandemic happening, we don't rely on them too much right now because we want to try and keep everybody safe, of course, but definitely asking for help or leaning into the health that you already have there. And then while I'm trying to be good at it, I would definitely say time blocking when you can. You know, when you notice chunks of time to do whether it's laundry or whether it's something to do with your at home business or whether it's something to do with your kids or your family, just kind of knowing the pockets of time that you can or want to do things. And if you're the person like me, that's very, you know, you love to do this. You love being productive. You like checking things off the list, even if it's just two or three things a day, whether it's stuff at home, again, stuff with the kids, your stuff for your job. If you just even have lists of three things that you can check off to make yourself feel like you did something that they were productive that day can actually do wonders for you to lay your mental health. Because as a lot of moms can probably attest you go through the day and you're doing a million things, but yet, sometimes at the end of the day, you're like, what did I even do today? You don't feel like you can accomplish anything because you did maybe little bits of a lot of things, but it doesn't always feel like you did anything big. And so even if you have that list of simple things, checkup kind of proof for your day, but I did do something today or I did accomplish this, or I did make that big step. And I think she will that productivity for the days to come. I love all of that. It seems like the shift happened in my thirties of seeing a knee and not just thinking, Oh, someone else will probably have already thought of this or someone else will have done this, but instead having a thought of, well, why not me? And lead an endeavor or start a new project or a new business. So I'm wondering for you, when you were thinking about this, did you ever have that? Well, why not thought? Or we like, yes, there's this there's this need and I'm going to go for it. You know what motivated cheetah to really say, raise your hand and say, yes, I'm going to, I'm going to do this because it is a big endeavor. It is. And I still do. And hadn't been staying home with my three children prior to launching the website. And while I have felt very privileged and blessed to be a stay at home mom, it was not in my long-term plans as probably happens to a lot of parents that stay home life and financial circumstances kind of guided me to that role. And I was very thankful to take it as it many can. The test is not easy either. Um, there's a lot of sacrifices and things that you give up to do that as well. I always kind of felt a tug well, you know, trying to enjoy time with my babies and I loved being home with them. I just always had this little piece of me that felt tugged to do, do more or do something else. I've always been passionate about community in particular. Um, I have a background in social work, so that's really what, you know, social workers love is like building community and connecting people and finding resources for people. And so I just always had this little part of me that was kind of tugging to do something else. And so I segwayed a little bit into some of that by starting a postpartum support group while I was still living down in Florida. And so that was an easy thing to do while home with the kids and, um, could bring them along with you group meetings. And then the more I got involved with Jackson bull mom and saw the potential for when we always had planned to move eventually saw the potential to do something similar in a community and really add that value to the community. Especially for moms. I just thought like said, why not? Why not me? You know, if the opportunity's there and I'm blessed to be able to do it and I can do it from home and why not me? So it just kind of started from there attended university of North Dakota and pursued your professional journey in marketing and communications. You worked for a university in the corporate world before having a change of heart and returning to school to earn your master's degree in social work. What was that change of heart for stepping into social work? I always had wanted to break into the nonprofit world in the kind of that marketing area, um, the business side of the nonprofit world and was part of my motivation for pursuing the degree, the undergraduate degree that I did. And just, you know, I'm sure a lot of new college grads can attest, you know, you, you tend to take the work that comes to you, especially when you're new in a field. And so I never did end up migrating to kind of where my passion was, but while I was waiting for that to happen, I was doing a lot in the community doing a lot of volunteer work, putting myself into other opportunities that way. And that's where I was opened up to the world of social work and realized what soul loves social workers to what that work could look like. And it just seemed like a natural fit for me. I actually did like the idea of someday could kind of blend not only a business background, but also a social work background into finding a niche somewhere. I figured there's a niche somewhere out there for me. And I feel like Fargo mom is a little bit part of that right now in my journey. And so it was just a push for me to do something I was more passionate about and that's working with people in the community and connecting them to each other to resources they need. And helping families is really where my passion lies. What, how did you end up in Jacksonville, Florida? My husband brought us down there for his job. It was a temporary job for five years. We were down there for, we were actually living in West Fargo for a few years, uh, while we're not from here and attended school in grand forks, we were here for two years before we moved down there. And so all our families here in North Dakota, so it was, it was hard to leave and then we had other kids are away as well. And, um, the interesting thing is in the spring when, when everything shut well, I shouldn't say whenever you shut down, but when we were distancing from each other is really where I was reminded a lot of what parts of our life looked like living far away from family. And it really made me appreciate being here again and how much I value being close to family. And we have some friends here as well, and it just reminded me of how isolating it kind of felt sometimes being so far away down there. So we're very happy to be back. And it's, it's been a good two years so far. We've been back and we're really enjoying it. Kenny even shared with me a very personal experience. Would you mind sharing a little bit more about that time in your life? Sure. Um, you know, it's interesting. We did have a couple of years of infertility that we went through before, um, and doing various treatments and things like that until conceiving our twins. And that is part of, as I mentioned before, what kind of played into that choice to stay home to babies in daycare is obviously twice as much. And, um, given the, the job I had at the time, it just didn't make sense financially. So I knew during the pregnancy and given my only my own previous mental health experiences, I tried to be on the lookout for possible signs and symptoms of postpartum depression. And, um, try to really educate myself and know, you know, try to know what I was getting myself into and then having twins. They were early too and had some time in the NICU. And I think I just didn't really take the time to understand how much of a transition all of that was at one time, all moms can really attest that you have a baby and then you just, you have so much focus on the baby and are they healthy and are they well, and are they sleeping enough and are they eating enough? And as moms, we just tend to forget about ourselves sometimes, and we ignore some of those symptoms or those signs that maybe we're not doing so well. I was so focused on the kids and getting through the day with them, with the husband who's working, you know, 60 plus hours a week that I just didn't really think about myself. And so, um, and then obviously add in the transition from working in the same home, especially if you're kind of a person who likes productivity and to do this. And it was a little bit hard to have that transition as well, which I can attribute some of the struggles that I had. I didn't seek help until those were about eight months old. It was kind of slowly going downhill, you know, month after month until I finally hit a peak where I just, I couldn't go on if I didn't have any help from a professional. And so did finally reach out thanks to some very supportive friends. And obviously my, my husband, and kind of started to come out of a fog after that. You know, like I said, I, I think what always is so surprising to me when I think about is that I felt like I was prepared for what could happen and I still blindsided me. And so I think it's just a Testament that we just tend to have blinders on after we have babies and we just focus on their needs and we forget to focus on our own. And I like to try and advocate for that as much as I can now for new moms to remember to think about themselves and take care of themselves. I know self-care is such a buzzword, but it's totally necessary for our own wellbeing, both mentally and physically. Wow. Try not to lose too much of yourself in motherhood, kind of along the lines of, again, focusing on kids, sometimes it's easy to forget about things that you enjoy and things that you like to do. And so I would definitely tell moms to, even if it's reading a book or listening to music or anything that like makes you feel like you and reminds you even of your pre-baby self and who that woman is and who you still are. I would really advise moms to clean to that and hang onto that and, and pursue your, continue to pursue your hobbies and be true to who you are and not just totally dive into everything. Mom, even silly things like when we're in the car, we don't play the kids' music. We don't always do the things just so the kids want to do. We'll, you know, we'll play the music that we like. And while our kids are our world, they also have to see you being true to yourself and being who you are and doing the things that you enjoy. I love that Kathy, I loved your recent posts on Instagram regarding a camping experience. Yeah. Can you share what that learning experience was for you? You know, I had this light bulb moment or like the shower thought, I thought, well, I could capture like this whole camping trip for the weekend and what it's like and how tiring it is and this and that and packing. And it didn't happen because when you have three young kids you're camping with, you're just worried about making sure everyone has all the things and all the snacks and all the food and all the gear. And then we got there and it was like 90 degrees. And we're just trying to keep everybody happy while we set up our tent. And, you know, it's just one thing after another, any travel with young children is exhausting. And so I just kind had this moment Saturday, where I'm just like, this is, this is ridiculous, but I'll also probably pretty relatable because I think this is what we do for our kids. We do these exhausting things that sometimes we wonder how fun it really is, but then we know that they're having a great time and that's, I guess that's the whole goal. And that's all that matters. And of course we had fun too, but you know, those little nuggets of time where everyone's winding and everyone's tired and everyone's hungry and you just have this moment, like, was this a good idea? But ultimately it was, and everyone had fun and you make the memories and you have the photos and you can look back on all that. And it brings all those memories back. And so it's still a good thing to do. Still find the joy and take that trip. Well, it hit me when you said, I see how hard you work to make memories for your kids. I know how exhausting it all is. And let's check me is the making memories for your kids, because there are those feelings of I'm in failing at this, not just this one, picture, your first salmon with a smile it's this whole experience. And the funny thing is before I had posted that picture, we had taken a hike with our kids, which was entirely too long for their little bodies and they were whining and complaining for most of it. And then when we get home and we ask what their favorite part of the weekend was, of course they say, Ooh, went on that hike. And I answered each other. And even though it may seem like they're not having fun or like things are really difficult or exhausting, their lens is so different. And they think back in the, they remember the happy times. They don't hopefully, always remember the times mom and dad were frustrated or this or that. They remember the fun thing. Then they remember how much fun it was to be together and all the fun things you did. I would just encourage parents to have a little go a little bit easy on themselves, even if it wasn't, you know, a picture perfect trip that their kids will still remember the fun that they had inspires you for sure. My own mom. I know that's probably pretty cliche to say that, but she, you know, she's actually, it was, it was a social worker she's retired now. And the funny thing is she, wasn't the person that pushed me to go into the field. I would see her doing her work. I saw how passionate she was for her own community. And she would get us involved in, you know, different nonprofits and fundraisers or, um, community meal programs. You know, she encouraged us to do all these things with her. I just saw that more as who she was. I didn't really think of it as like, this is from job and it was just kind of who she was and how much she cared and how passionate she was and for the people around us. And so by far, she's not only in motherhood, but also just in life in general, definitely inspired me. What is something you think everyone should do at least once in their life visiting somewhere where you can just truly appreciate just the around you. And that can be somewhere as simple as you know, we have state parks within, you know, two hours from here, something as simple as that, even we went to Glen to those state park for a camping trip, and that was a little over an hour away. So I think anytime you can just be somewhere that you can really appreciate how beautiful our world is, especially in a time like now when I dunno, it's so easy to get bogged down with what isn't going well and what is really yucky. I think it's a good reminder to have even just once in your lifetime, if that more than that, can you share a piece of advice you've learned thus far on your journey? There's always room for empathy and grace. In most situations, I hear a lot of people talk about those, this, especially lately with a lot of the negativity that is going on mainly in our country, but also in our world. And I just think there's always room for those things. There's always room for kindness and to be kind to people and try and understand what they're going through or how their experience might be different than yours or how their journey might be different than yours. And I think that's something moms in particular can always do more of I'm sure you've heard, you know, the mom shaming or as moms. Sometimes you can not be so kind to each other because there's a lot of judgment that can happen. And honestly, I feel in my experience because I've not been immune to it, of course either, but when I have those moments and I reflect on it, honestly, a lot of that judgment is more of my own insecurity or my own worries as a mother that gets projected out onto somebody else. I think just taking the time to understand that someone else's journey is not your own someone else's choices are going to be different than yours. And that's okay at the end of the day, what is your finish line? I don't know if I have one yet, to be honest, I've always when I, especially when I returned to school for social work degree and to be in that career, I did always, you know, a lot of my jobs too. I liked fulfilling these. So if I see something, you know, I'm part of my, mom's an example of that. If I feel like there's a need in the community for something or there's room in the community to fit this in and to help people or to create a resource, I want to do that. And I feel like I've done that in smaller ways. And some of the jobs I've had, especially in social work. And so ultimately I guess I had to name a finish line. I would love to find a bigger need and maybe even starting nonprofits day, I don't have that finish line. Cause I don't know what that would be yet. I think it's something that just over time as we see if there's any gaps in the community, maybe that would guide me in a certain direction. So Kathy, if you're okay, I'd love to end our time with a little lightning round of questions. Okay. All right. You ready? I think so. Passenger, passenger cookies or brownies cookies. I know you love coffee. So how do you take it a little bit? I have now what do you do to relax, read shoes or bang a trend you would like to see gone forever? Oh my gosh. That's a hard one. I don't want to say like Tik TOK or some of those. I don't know if I'm on board with them yet. Perfect. Date night, going to an outdoor concert, followed by a local brewery. Love it. The chess or checkers. And I say neither wine or martini wine. Thank you. Thanks so much for coming on. Well, thank you.

Speaker 2:

A lot of fun. I appreciate it. If you would like to learn more about glaze and grit and the incredible community leaders that are highlighted on the show, join the conversation where you listen to your podcasts and please subscribe, rate, and share. You can also follow the glazing grid journey on glazing grid, podcast.com. I'm Jesse[inaudible]. And thanks for listening to this episode. Talk to you soon.