From Childhood Scars To Self-Acceptance With Dr. Brian Alman

Anxiety isn’t just a feeling—it’s a pattern wired by past experiences and reinforced by daily stress. We sit down with Dr. Brian Alman to unpack why so many of us run tense, sleep poorly, and carry headaches and stomach aches, and how those signals trace back to unresolved adversity. He explains how ACE (Adverse Childhood Experience) and positive experience assessments reveal the hidden roots of adult anxiety, addiction, and burnout, and how to turn that awareness into real change.

Dr. Alman’s approach is both scientific and human. He connects epigenetics, immune system load, and chronic stress, showing why the body can’t heal while it’s busy fighting emotional fires. Then he lays out a practical sequence: start with awareness, move to unconditional acceptance, express what was never voiced, and get past the inner judge that says “you should be over this.” On the other side is your inner wisdom—steady, compassionate, actionable. His tree metaphor makes it clear: feelings are the roots, thoughts the trunk, behaviors the branches; healthy branches require healthy roots.

We also get into daily tools that fit real life. Think two to three-minute techniques that downshift your nervous system and help you process today’s stress before it stacks into tomorrow’s anxiety. For parents, Dr. Alman shares simple ways to practice patience, model acceptance, and remember the younger “rings” within each of us. And we challenge the myth of instant enlightenment, redefining it as a journey toward unconditional self-acceptance—progress measured one situation at a time.

If you’re ready to stop managing symptoms and start healing causes, this conversation offers a roadmap that blends evidence with empathy. Subscribe, share with someone who needs it, and leave a review to support the show. Then tell us: what root are you ready to face next?

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Transcript

Meet Dr. Brian Alman

SPEAKER_00 0:36

Real estate real life. We'll learn. If you think about it, we'll be in everything in between. And now your host, Red Wiseman. Okay. We have a great show. A great show. I know what I say that probably every single week, don't I? Now you put a great show. Put it together, maybe get it together. Now we have a really good show here. You know, we're we're bringing on a lot of people that are that are really here to help our audience, whether it comes from, you know, trauma type things, people that are going through stress, people that are going through some some things uh, you know, inside that maybe they're just they're dealing with and don't know how to deal with it. Um, you know, that's kind of like what we've been we've been finding, and I'm I'm really thankful for because it's just great stuff.

SPEAKER_01 1:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:34

And when I listen back to a lot of our shows now recently, too, it it helps me. You know, I'm listening back and I'm like, these, these are just great people with a great message, and I'm hoping our audience is really digging into it also. I I I love it. Tell me about the guest for today. The guest for today is Dr. Brian Allman, is his name. He is the world's leading authority on accessing the unconscious mind for healing trauma, revolve resolving stress, and activating inner wisdom. He's at 25 plus years uh helping tens of thousands of people worldwide transform their mental and physical health. His evidence-based myth methodology has become the gold standard for those who have tried everything without success. So, this is the guy. So, uh, Dr. Brian Allman, bring him on. Hey, thanks, Brad. Great to be here. I'm glad you're here. This is awesome.

SPEAKER_01 2:24

Yeah. You know, we're like you just introduced me and introduced your show. We're here for the same reasons. Yeah. To really help people tap into their inner wisdom, inner doctor, and make their lives better. They can so they can feel better, do better. And uh so we're in it for the exact same reasons.

Curiosity, Nature, And Early Pain

SPEAKER_00 2:42

Yeah, no, and I love it. And it, like I said, the more that we've been doing the show, we're getting more and more people like that. It's um it's the typical magnet thing. It's what we're putting out there, and what's happening is is is we're getting great guests like yourself to come in and actually provide for our audience, which is really exciting. So I love it and I'm excited about the show because I have been looking at your information. I've been looking to look at your books and and everything else. And there's different things here that we're gonna talk about that, so let's just get started. I I'm totally into it. Let's just go into a little bit of, you know, why do you do this work? Did you, did you come out of high school going, you know what, this is what I want to do? I want to be a psychologist and I want to dig into people's minds and help them and all that. What how did this start?

SPEAKER_01 3:25

It started way before high school. I always wondered. Wow. Grime, what makes people tick? Yeah. What makes this person a big grouch? What makes this person a really kind, caring individual? What makes this person a great dad? What makes this person never around? I always wondered what makes people tick. And so that was sort of my own curiosity. And uh I was fortunate, as we said before the show started. I was born in Massachusetts, and so New England's my home base. I had the woods, the forest, like a lot of your listeners have, Mother Nature all around them. That's a great teacher. And of course, if you're in Mother Nature, you're very curious because you want to stay safe. You want to know how you got there so you can go back out. Uh, so I had the woods, the forest, really cool people. And then I had the city, Boston, three miles away, where I could take a bus and walk or a train and be able to be in a big city around all the colleges. Even as a little kid, I grew up wondering, you know, why are people the way they are? I ran into my own trauma, my own stress. I was born missing part of my back, part of L4 and L5. So I had chronic back pain as a kid. And it was really tough because I still want to do sports, I still want to do pee, I still want to be part of everything. Um, but anybody that knows it has any physical pain, it's like emotional pain and you know, mental pain, it slows you down, it becomes a preoccupation, it can become a full-time job. Uh, so I was always searching while I was always curious for not only why people the way they are, but what helps people get better when they're struggling and they have something that um nobody else seems to have the answers to.

SPEAKER_00 5:17

Yeah. Yeah, that's interesting. So, you know, it's funny when we talk about the pain thing, and you're so right about that. When people have do have some kind of chronic pain, it it that's becomes a mental health issue also. It does. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 5:29

Can I go? Can I not go? Will I be okay? Yeah. I'd say no. Uh, what are my limitations? Uh, you know, everything, yeah, becomes a real uh kind of obsession because you don't want to be in more pain and you want to feel better, and you don't want to be a complainer and you don't want to like ruin anybody else's time. So uh, you know, it takes some real sort of self-consciousness uh to figure out, okay, how am I gonna make this work and how am I gonna find a way to get better? Because it's tough. If I have to always be like this, this is a tough battle.

SPEAKER_00 6:06

Yeah, it is. It is, it really is. Well, that's interesting. So that's how kind of how it started. That's how that's how you got this in your in your into your head of uh I want to I want to help people. I love the thing when you say, I want I want to know what makes people tick. I say it about people all the time. And it's funny too, you use the word curiosity. Yeah. Um, that's one of the words I use also for doing this show, is that I'm curious about people. I'm curious about my guests. And and and when you're authentically curious, it it's uh it it kind of just shows, you know, that that that you care about people. It's true.

SPEAKER_01 6:35

And you learn and you become very humble because as I've worked with people from dozens of countries, from dozens of walks of life, almost every age and stage you can imagine, with every kind of problem, because they'll find me based on referrals from their doctors or their coaches or their healers or their, you know, parents, or whoever finds me. Yeah, uh, I find people that uh come to me are really struggling. Everybody's so unique, Brad. Yeah, every one of us is so different. I've worked with identical twins that are very different. I've worked with people that are raised in the exact same family that are very different. So one becomes curious of how did this person get to be like that, not that person get to be like this. And what are all the you know things that they went through and then how they dealt with them or didn't deal with them that caused all of these positives and difficult situations? So curiosity is always part of it because it's just part of, oh wow, I wonder how this person got to be in this situation. I wonder how that impacted them. I can kind of see it or sense it, but I'm gonna ask them. I'm gonna actually ask some good questions here and then listen with acceptance because as a healer, as a doctor, you know, we're as much a student as we are a teacher. Yeah. We learn from everybody that we collaborate with, everybody that we work with. So we're always learning, always learning new things because people are so different.

Anxiety As Future-Focused Stress

SPEAKER_00 8:12

Yeah. So, you know, as you're saying all that stuff, what do you what do you find? I mean, we talk about the society today, and and you know, there's always doom and gloom about every society, every culture. You know, the baby boomers were supposed to be a pain in the butt, and then it goes to the Gen Xers and the Gen, you know, there are all these generations. What do you see as a whole that we are that you see the most of that you're like, geez, man, people are really having a hard time with this, you know, or this and then and then why? What is it in our in our in our population or in our in our communities that we're seeing the most of and why?

Childhood Roots And ACE Assessments

SPEAKER_01 8:44

Yeah. Well, the number one complaint people have is I'm anxious. Yeah. I'm stressed, I'm worried. I get upset. Now they don't openly admit that to anybody else, but when they're with me, because they know they can trust me and they know I'm there to help them, they'll admit, you know, I'm just running tense. I run stress. I'm not sleeping as well. You know, I've got stomach aches, I've got headaches. You think that's all related to how anxious I am? Now, anxiety is always focused on the future. What if? What if that happened? What if that what am I doing wrong? What should I be doing right? So anxiety is having one foot or both feet in the future instead of really being present. That's what anxiety is, like always being on the lookout for what else could go wrong, what else could uh do I have to be concerned about? What if that falls apart? What if that doesn't? And the roots of anxiety, because you always have to get to the root cause, as well as the self-care skills. The root cause of anxiety almost always, nine out of 10 times from childhood. One of your parents ran anxious, one of your parents ran stressed, one of your parents didn't resolve their own childhood issues way before they ever had you or your, you know, your siblings. So our childhoods is where we learn how to either cope effectively with optimism and a sense of self-support or pessimism and worry and a sense of, oh, what else could go wrong? So our childhoods, what we call adverse childhood experiences, that's our assessment. 12 questions takes five, 10 minutes to answer. We've had millions of people. I don't even know, I think the number is up to 20 million people that have answered our ACE assessment questions. So you find out where the train came off the tracks. We also have a 12 question positive childhood experience assessment. So you find out how the train got back on the track and who supported you and what went right, who are the people that really, you know, reassured you in life. Are those the coping mechanisms then, basically, that they've discovered? Well, addictions are all coping mechanisms, not just problems. Self-medicating. Yeah. Yeah. Self-medicating, you know, overeating, drinking, prescription medication, you know, illicit, illegal medication, all that. Those are all ways to cope to try to feel better and get that root cause to shut up and go away and not be there anymore. And of course, that doesn't work. Uh and so people have to get to the root cause. It's usually from childhood, although we also have an adverse adult experience assessment, because not all stress and trauma happens in childhood. And we also have a positive version for adults, also, because good things can happen at any time, any day. And those assessments get you the root cause. Once you resolve the root cause and heal it and do the emotional work that's needed, then you can get to the self-care skills that you want to integrate into your daily life for calm, for dealing with anxiety, for dealing with being down or depressed, for dealing with difficult people, for dealing with, you know, the most powerful pharmacy in the world in between years is your brain, which can be your best friend or the biggest pain in the mm-mm, depending on what mood you're in.

SPEAKER_00 12:08

Right?

SPEAKER_01 12:09

Right. So you have to be able to manage all that. You have to have self-care skills uh to manage all of that.

SPEAKER_00 12:15

Yeah. And as that, and that's something that you that obviously that's what you train on, or that's what you teach your, your, your, uh, your uh patients. The other thing, too, is that when you were talking about um when when you're talking about your upbringing and your parents and and saying you know that that a lot of times it comes from how you were raised or whatever. Now, is that is that uh hereditary as far as DNA, or is it hereditary as far or is it is it learned from being in the household?

Coping, Addiction, And Adult Stress

SPEAKER_01 12:40

Yes. But, you know, tough times are it's called epigenetics, where our genes actually hold the keys to what's going on with us emotionally and mentally. So what we're feeling and thinking actually impacts our genes. In other words, everybody creates 200 to 300 cancer cells every single day of their life. Wow. Now the immune system knows how to fight those off and kind of get them to be exiting and not replicate and not go anywhere. And then if our immune systems are caught up trying to cope with our anxiety or deal with our worries or, you know, deal with our abuses or the neglect that we went through. So now our immune systems are preoccupied. They have another job, which is just trying to help us cope, then the cancer cells can replicate and travel and become much bigger problems. But most people don't even know that all of us are having those every single day and that our immune systems know what to do with it. When our immune systems are healthy, in other words, when we're emotionally and mentally healthy, our physical bodies will know what to do with those kinds of abnormalities. When our you know, immune systems are preoccupied, but I don't feel good, oh, I'm miserable, why'd they do that to me? Oh, I'm so lonely, oh, I'm so unhappy, and we don't resolve those childhood experiences, then your immune system's tied up with other things, and next thing you know, autoimmune illnesses, cardiovascular disease, cancer. Now, this is all science-based. Yeah. It's amazing. This is, you know, thousands, even tens of thousands of peer-reviewed medical journal articles. This isn't just, you know, anecdotal or good stories about certain people or bad stories about certain people. This is how we work. This is how we take.

SPEAKER_00 15:15

So then that also then leads into a positive mindset, uh, having the right, right mindset, being able to not be stressed out about things that are, that we can't control. Um, you know, that so that is helping our health, our actual physical health.

SPEAKER_01 15:31

Definitely. And I think the key point, dear, Brad, though, is that we have to go into what's troubling us. We have to go into our adversities, our adverse adult experiences, our adverse childhood experiences, our problems with our relationship, our problems of work. We have to go into that and heal it and resolve it and deal with it before a positive mindset will be any use at all. In other words, what we're feeling is like the roots of a tree. Okay, you've got to get to the root. Right. And then the stem of the tree is what we're thinking. Okay, so you can change the stem as much as you want, but you have to get to the roots. And then the branches are the result. Those are our behaviors, those are things that we do. But on that picture, if everybody can picture a tree and the roots and the whole stem and then the branches. We all have like trees, rings of a tree. You still, Brad, have the one-year-old you inside. You could cry like a baby in a situation. You still have the five-year-old you. I don't want to listen to anybody. I just want to do what I want to do. I want to just play.

SPEAKER_00 16:42

That one comes out a lot, actually.

SPEAKER_01 16:43

You still have the 14-year-old you. Don't tell me what to do.

SPEAKER_00 16:47

And that one, I have that one a lot.

SPEAKER_01 16:48

Okay. So we still have all of the years of our lives, all of the rings of the tree inside of us, and the present ring, the present Brad, the present me, the present listeners, all of you, want to have the present you take care of all those younger you that maybe went through a drought year or a rainy year, a difficult year. But if you know anything about Mother Nature, you wouldn't cut the tree in half, dig out the drought, rainy years, and try to glue the tree back together. That would be a very bad idea. Yeah. Because you know what would happen.

SPEAKER_00 17:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 17:23

Okay. So what we need to do is keep the tree whole, get our present self as healthy as possible, get to the roots, those tough years, those drought, rainy, difficult years. Okay. And then still we have to reassure, support, accept, help those parts of us as opposed to what people say, oh, you need to have a positive mindset. You need to stop being negative. Well, guess what? The negative critical inner judge part of all of us has a lifetime membership. You could not get rid of a lobotomy. So if you have a lobotomy scheduled, cancel it immediately. That would be like cutting the tree, they dig out the tough years. We have to deal with and take care of with love, acceptance, reassurance, friendliness, compassion all of the years, all of the stages and ages. So we don't deny it.

SPEAKER_00 18:15

We don't deny it.

SPEAKER_01 18:16

We we we we accept it.

SPEAKER_00 18:17

We just it's gonna be there.

Immune System, Epigenetics, And Health

SPEAKER_01 18:19

Yeah. It's gonna be show up in a stomachache, headache, backache, autoimmune, cardiovascular. I mean, it's gonna manifest because the body is the receptacle for all of these things. And so taking care of yourself emotionally, like you said, Brad, taking care of yourself mentally, like you said, does help your body. It's all a reciprocal relationship. Better take care of your emotions, the better your emotions take care of your body. Better take care of your mind, your mind will help your emotions. It's all reciprocal, holistic, you know, the whole you, the whole us. Uh, you can't sort of cut ourselves up into sections and oh, I'm gonna fix that part of me. Well, no, you gotta really fix the whole you. Yeah. But it's easier to help your whole you than it is to not help the whole you. It's easier to work on your issues than it is to not work on your issues by far. You can start making progress immediately, or they can go on and on forever because time does not heal all wounds, as we know. Right. Which is what everybody says.

unknown 19:17

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_00 19:18

Everybody says that. That's what we learned, but but that's all wrong. It's not even the way it is. Yeah. Exactly. So let's let's go deeper into this adverse childhood experiences. Can you explain, like, what because everything I've read about you, it's in there a lot. I mean, that's something that you really specialize in, I see. Uh, can you go into that a little bit more? Like, what is it? You know, what is what does adverse mean? I mean, is that an opinionated thing?

SPEAKER_01 19:43

Yeah. So I have been the treatment solution partner to the person that came up with the assessment, the adverse childhood experience assessment. We've been partners and collaborators for over 25 years. Dr. Vincent Folletti. He created an assessment, takes 10 minutes to answer. It was 10 questions, now it's 12 questions. We added a couple of real important ones. Neglect while you were growing up, alcoholism while you were growing up, sexual abuse while you were growing up, physical abuse, emotional abuse, incarceration, divorce, somebody going off to war. Most people, the majority, more than 60% of people have had one adverse childhood experiences. About 20% how many people? What's the percentage? More than 60% of us. More than half of us. So you asked somebody, did you ever, and this is the 11th question that we had, did you ever have an experience that was stressful, difficult, or traumatic while you were growing up? And everybody, I mean, we find everybody says yes. Yeah, I flunked first grade. That was mine. One of mine. And that's that's traumatic as a kid. I mean, that's really hard. Yeah, first grade. Yeah. Your peers, your parents, your teachers, your relatives. It is for a kid that age that is traumatic. Now, most of the time that stays unresolved, and then it gets, you know, in the body and the emotions and the mind and the manifest until we finally realize, oh my God, now I know I've been why I've been smoking for 25 years. Now I know why I drink too much. Now I know I can't stay in a relationship because I never resolved that low self-esteem impact that failing first grade caused me. As soon as you start dealing with it, everything improves immediately in long term. So there's a real vote to deal with our adverse childhood experiences or our adverse adult experiences. Got laid off, had to move, ran into financial trouble, went through a separation, a divorce, or my one of my kids has been struggling. So we have adverse life experiences. And they're all those that I mentioned and more. And then everybody kind of adds their own in that uh 11th question. Do you ever go through anything like you just shared, Brad? Uh and so those questions are essential. And then they come to me. Dr. Falletti referred to me, and this is what I've been doing for decades, is what our first 15 books are all about. Uh, is the treatment solutions. That's the part I love. Yeah, how do I help people help themselves to heal and resolve right away and long term?

SPEAKER_00 22:28

Yeah, is there is there a common, is there a common um way to heal? Yeah, there it is. There's a there's a uh there's not that it's not that everybody gets heals the same. Way. But is there a common way to is there something that that that you know obviously identifying what it is, that's got to be huge, right? Number one, that's awareness. Yeah, awareness is because you can't work on anything if you don't know about it.

Tree Metaphor For Whole-Person Healing

SPEAKER_01 22:55

Right. That's the assessment. That's number one, the awareness. Right. The second one is really being able to accept what we've gone through. So accept that we were neglected. Dr. Fletti and I had the same exact ACE adverse childhood experience. We've done videos, we've written about it. Both of our dads worked too much, were never around. We hardly ever saw them. So that neglect of an important male role model was really painful for us. Now we both found an uncle, a friend's dad. We had other people that really stepped in for us. But that was that neglect was really tough for both of us. And that motivated us to help people with their ACEs. But that was our own at the time. And it manifested for him physically. He actually left school, college his first year for a whole year or almost a whole year. Chronic migraine headaches. They couldn't figure out what was wrong. It was emotional. He overheard his parents talking they might get a divorce. He never even thought that was a possibility. And it just hit him like a ton of bricks. Okay. And mine was a little bit more gradual, and you know, it was really painful, really difficult. But the common steps is starting off with awareness, answering those adverse childhood, adverse adult experiences, which are all free at true sage.com. They're all in the enlightened app. So everybody can answer them and you know be done in 10 minutes and have the lights go on and be amazed at oh, that's the year that I gained all that weight. That's the year I started, you know, doing drugs. That's the year I started drinking. When they at what age did that first happen? Why then? When did you start being addicted? When did you start having problems? Why then? Why not two years earlier, five years later? Oh, so that's more awareness, that's more acceptance. Then you have to find ways to express yourself. Sports, working out, journaling, friendships, counseling, uh, whatever you need to do, you have to find ways to get it out, to release it. And that's where we all are different. We have our own way. Some of us want to do it alone, some of us want to do it with others. Groups work, journals work, there's all kinds of things that work. Then, and this is the sort of the catch where I mentioned a few minutes ago that people get stuck on. After you have all that awareness, acceptance, all that letting go, when in doubt, let go. Uh, then you have to go through that inner judge, that inner critic. Oh, well, you're not trying hard. That was 20 years ago. What's the matter with you? You should be over there by now. People have been through a lot worse than that. What are you kidding me? You have to get through that inner critic, inner judge, and be aware and express that, because that will stop your progress if you don't, because most people get stuck there for I would say lifetime.

SPEAKER_00 26:00

Right, because you you your problem's not big enough.

SPEAKER_01 26:02

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 26:03

Right? Exactly. Everybody else's problem is bigger. So why why am I what's the big deal?

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(Cont.) Tree Metaphor For Whole-Person Healing

SPEAKER_01 26:08

Yeah. Oh, yeah. A lot of people have a lot worse than you. Okay. Okay. So you have to get through that inner judge. That's a huge one. Acceptance, awareness, expression. Then you can get to your inner wisdom. Then you can get to your true authentic self. Then you can get to what I call your true sage, you, your wisdom, your inner doctor. Uh, it's always available 24-7, no appointment necessary. But you have to go through these uh and and like we were saying earlier, Brett, you have to really be supportive of all those ages and stages, all those rings of the tree, all those things you've been through. Even maybe some of the things that your parents or your siblings went through that impacted you. You have to work with it. You've got to be supportive as opposed to judgmental. And the techniques are all the techniques in the app are two to three minutes. They're all videos where people learn actual techniques, solutions. So the answers are right, you know, right at the palm of your hand. They're all available and they're actually pretty fun to learn. That's what we hear all the time. That was really helpful, and I enjoy that.

SPEAKER_00 27:40

And then they can use it for, I would think that if other things come up in their adult life, they can hopefully use what you've taught them to do the same thing with those other things that come up.

SPEAKER_01 27:51

And so in in kind of funny rhetorical, you know, maybe sarcastic question, is doesn't something come up every day? I mean, go through something every day with that. Absolutely. My goodness gracious.

From Awareness To Expression To Wisdom

SPEAKER_00 28:05

Yeah, absolutely. It's an and and I think it's all about knowing how to process it and knowing we're that it's that it's okay, that you process it the certain way. And and, you know, and and also like just identifying these things is the big thing, is identifying. I always say that about um anything, you know, being a dad or being being a husband. Um I'm not perfect, but but the thing for me, um, you know, we had uh Mitchell Osmondon, if you've ever heard of him before. He's the dad nation. He's he's awesome, really good guy. And um, you know, he we went back and forth because he's a he's a dad and he's a he's a husband, and he he's I said, you're not you're not you you look at somebody like him and you think, What are you perfect with all this stuff or no? And he goes, hell no. He said, he goes, I have to think he said, but the thing is, is I know about it. When I catch myself doing it, when I when I hear myself saying something that I know is wrong, at least I'm aware. Right.

SPEAKER_01 28:59

Well, awareness is huge, but truthfully, it's not enough. I've been to India, I've been all around the world where people practice awareness for hundreds of years. Yeah. And awareness is interesting. It's like knowing you need to lose weight. Everybody knows that. Knowing what you should eat, everybody's aware of that. Knowing that you should stop doing this. Everybody knows what they should do. Okay. Now getting yourself to do what you know you should is a different, different project. Okay, so awareness has to bridge to not just acceptance. I'm gonna give you a clue of something we learned from the ACE study, and that took us about probably 10 years to figure out by listening to people, you have to develop unconditional acceptance, like acceptance no matter what. And you talk about parents, I'm a dad, four kids, and so yes, kids are teachers, kids will teach us. We need to be patient. I used to with my kids, okay, I used to know because I have the awareness. Now, of course, transforming that into action is the big move. I knew patience was important. I could see it. So I used to breathe in and say the word patience to myself. And I would exhale and say my name to myself. So my kids would say to me, Dad, you take all these deep breaths. What do you take all them breaths for? And they say, Oh, I'm just breathing inside. I'm thinking, I'm saving your rear end. I'm controlling myself of not yelling. That's funny. Nutso parent. I'm just taking deep breaths and I'd be breathing patience, Brian, because I knew patience as a parent was the most important. Absolutely. And to your point about being curious about people, I remembered the ages and stages I went through. I remembered when I was five, ten, like you said, kindergarten, first grade. I remembered those. So I knew as a parent, I want to treat my kids like I always wish somebody would treat me when I was their age. And that really helped me. So I would listen. I had their friends over all the time. I would take their friends with us when we did things, lots of activities, lots of time with them, never too busy, work, but then had time off of work, kind of split that up nicely. And I treated the kids at those ages and stages like I would want someone to treat me. So I didn't really have those brutal years through the teen, the early teen, the middle school, the high school. Because I just remembered, okay, stay patient, listen with unconditional acceptance, ask questions. What did you wish your parents would have done? You know what I mean? That kind of a thing. You know, yeah, yeah. Exactly. So it's a pretty easy sort of formula. Uh and so, you know, every generation's supposed to get smarter. We know that. Yeah. So, you know, even if it's a little bit smarter, we're supposed to get smarter. Uh and so, you know, and of course, in my field, because I teach so many people, from educators to doctors to therapists to football, baseball, basketball coaches, I have to practice what I preach. Yeah. You know, I teach people, I have to actually live it. Otherwise, it doesn't really work. And people can tell. Yeah. They can tell, is this guy really unconditionally accepting, like he's teaching me how to be with myself? And they learn pretty quick. Which is not easy to do.

SPEAKER_00 32:44

That's not easy to do. To live to live what you to live what you preach, man, is not easy to do.

Parenting, Patience, And Daily Practices

SPEAKER_01 32:49

It's it's a journey. It's like I I went to India to see if anybody was really enlightened. They invited me there because they wanted me to teach meditators and yoga teachers how to go deeper into their meditation yoga. And I'm thinking, wow, they invite a guy from Boston who's from California, the United States, to come to India who goes. That's crazy. Yeah, that's pretty wild. So lifetimes, okay, okay. I'm not quite sure. They read one of my books, and so they liked it, and they invited me. So I went there to teach, but I want to see, was anybody really enlightened? Because I could be enlightened for 15 minutes. Yeah. You know, sports, music, mother nature. But, you know, something happens, something comes up, and I really can't be enlightened anymore. But I just got aggravated about something. So, okay, I'm good for a little bit. Can anybody be like that 24-7? So, anyway, I go there, I teach, have a great time, they love it, it makes a big difference. And I didn't meet anybody that was enlightened. I met people that were brilliant, women and men, great, uh great ashrams, great gurus, great teachers. One of them got a toothache and his enlightenment went away. Another one, the books were late being delivered, his enlightenment went away. Another one, the lighting wasn't working, her enlightenment went away. So as I'm getting ready to leave after traveling around the country and teaching everywhere, the last guru said to me, What do you think enlightenment is? And I said, You know, always in the zone, always above it all, always present, nothing bothers you. And he said, No. And I thought to myself, uh oh, I used to travel in the country, I've been asking the wrong question. Oh my goodness, what's this guy gonna tell me? He said to me, Enlightenment is unconditional acceptance of yourself.

SPEAKER_00 34:37

It's an interesting one. And then I then you try and think about what does that mean then?

SPEAKER_01 34:41

I changed the name of my app. I changed the name of my app to Enlighten because I loved it. I didn't want to call it enlightenment because I knew people would think what I thought, and I want people to think that I could teach them that. But your point, Brad, was very insightful, which is you don't reach enlightenment, you don't reach unconditional self-acceptance. It's a journey. It's a journey, yeah. Where you're really continually making progress and improving in every situation, not one day at a time, one situation at a time. So it's like walking a tightrope. Oh, I got it now. Oh, I better move this way, I better move that way. Yeah. Or I better adapt to this, or I better adjust to this. So it's a it's an evolution, it's progress, it's staying committed to it. Uh it's a journey, though, it's not an end result.

SPEAKER_00 35:27

Interesting. That's a very good description of that. That's awesome. We're gonna actually, we've been, it's unbelievable. We we've been talking here for more. We'll have to have you back on if you would would love to do that. Um, but let's just go into before we wrap this up here, uh, go into like the most recent books that you've written and uh and just you know, tell them what, tell us what those are, where we can get them. And then how do we get in touch with you? What's the best way to get in touch with you uh for the audience to to say, you know what, this guy really, really uh resonated with me, and I want to I want to see what he's about.

SPEAKER_01 35:55

Well, first of all, I am available and I watched your podcasts and before we got on. I love them just like with me, I see how generous you are. And so I decided I want to match your generosity. So I created a technique, a video, a solution that everybody can get for free as a gift. All they have to do is mention, uh, let's see, what's a what's a beautiful word for us to use? Let's say acceptance. Perfect. Or maybe your word will go with awareness. Awareness. Perfect. There we go. I'm on LinkedIn, posting every day, friend me at LinkedIn, Facebook, I'm on uh TikTok, I'm on YouTube, I'm on Instagram, on all of those platforms, making a video, new technique every day. Friend me there, connect with me there, say the word acceptance, throw in Brad Wiseman, whatever you want, and I will send you a technique that people like. And by the way, I gave you a five-star rating at Apple.

SPEAKER_00 36:55

I encourage you to do the same thing. I will definitely do the same thing.

Redefining Enlightenment As Acceptance

SPEAKER_01 36:59

And I made some comments there also. Uh you'll say that's very kind. So that's the first thing is I want to be as generous with your communities. You are, I see the way you are, and I want to match on that, or at least try. Appreciate it. Uh all of my books are basically on Amazon. Most recent is called From Trauma to Enlightenment. Now you know why Dr. Fletti and I named the book that you know how we define enlightenment. It's not up above it all in the Himalayans. It's at unconditional self-acceptance. Uh, another new book coming out is called All Hypnosis is self-hypnosis, because that's what helped my back pain more than anything else. And I use it a lot with helping people with emotional and psychological opportunities and challenges. I use it a lot with athletes. Uh, and all of the other books, so your inner voice, so I, you know, all of the other 15 books, they're all on Amazon. You can go to true sage.com. That's my company. That's where the app can be found, too. The word true, T R U E, and the word Sage S-A-G.com. Uh, but I'll write back. You reach out to me uh about the books or about the courses or about the app. Uh and now you know you have a free technique because of Brad Wiseman. Um, I'm available. I want to help people help themselves. That's my mission. Uh we're in a number of countries right now. We're helping, you know, thousands of people, tens of thousands of people every day. Uh, and that's my mission is to be available to people.

SPEAKER_00 38:32

All right, there you have it. Dr. Brian Allman. I am sorry we had a little bit of a technical difficulty there for a little bit on video, but we uh we got it all, and uh we're excited about that. And uh, but yeah, Dr. Brian Ullman, he's amazing. You definitely want to check him out. All you gotta do is look up his name, and I'm telling you, when I looked it up on Google, it is everywhere. And you definitely want to do that. Okay, that's about it. Thanks for seeing the show here every Thursday at 7 p.m. Alright, thank you.