"The Third Element" To The Law Of Attraction - Randy Lyman

A former physicist walks into the studio and suddenly the Law of Attraction stops sounding like a slogan and starts sounding like a system. Randy Lyman, author of The Third Element, joins us to unpack the “missing key” most people skip: emotions. Not performative feelings, not workplace drama, but the kind of honest emotional awareness that changes how you lead, how you relate, and what you keep attracting into your life.

We talk through Randy’s turning point moment, an intense emotional release that was followed by a real shift in his day-to-day reality, and why he sees that as cause and effect. From there we go into the deeper framework: resonance across your thoughts, your actions, and your emotional state. We also explore the quantum physics references that shaped his model, including the double slit experiment and the Heisenberg uncertainty principle, plus a practical lens most of us can relate to like the reticular activating system and how intention changes what you notice.

If you’re a leader, this gets personal fast. Randy explains why feelings are already running the show even when you pretend they aren’t, how to process emotions without making decisions from them, and what people need more than money at work: acknowledgement, contribution, and belonging. He shares a simple four-column writing exercise to make stress tangible and find the real emotion under the judgment. If this hits home, subscribe, share it with someone who’s doing the work, and leave us a review.

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Welcome to The Brad Weisman Show, where we dive into the world of real people, real life, and everything in between with your host, Brad Weisman! 🎙️ Join us for candid conversations, laughter, and a fresh take on the real world. Get ready to explore the ups and downs of life with a side of humor. From property to personality, we've got it all covered. Tune in, laugh along, and let's get real! 🏡🌟 #TheBradWeismanShow #RealPeopleRealLife 

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Transcript

Welcome And Disney Cruise Recap

SPEAKER_05 0:31

This is gonna be a good one, Hugo. The Brad Wiseman Show.

SPEAKER_04 0:34

Real people, real life, and everything in between. So, what do your kids think of this? Oh damn, so I'm gonna say I'm not here for the money, but I'll still take it. I'll still unfiltered conversations with the people shaping our world. Because you're judging yourself by your intentions, they're judging you by your actions. Exactly right. You know, my wife said to me, You go to work and you give everyone the Mitchell buffet. And you come home and you give me the scraps. And now your host, Brad Wiseman.

SPEAKER_05 1:02

All right, back for another show. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, you know what? I was away for a little bit. Oh, yes. I was away.

SPEAKER_00 1:10

Where were you? Tell us where did you go?

SPEAKER_05 1:12

I went on a Disney cruise, man. It was it was amazing. Well, I should say, the way Disney explains it, it was magical. Ah, there you go. It was magical. No, we had a great time. Family, kids, actually, in-laws, my parents traveled to different parts of the of the of the Caribbean. The ocean. The ocean. Caribbean. Yeah, it was a good time. It was a really good time. But we had a great time. But we are back. We're back here on a Thursday again.

SPEAKER_00 1:34

What do we have today? We have our guests.

SPEAKER_05 1:36

A really good guest. His name is Randy Lyman. We've been, I've been looking at this guy for a while. His managers or whoever who got in touch with me. I I looked at it and it's one of those that hit me right away because it had a lot to do with the law of attraction. I'm one of those that believes in that wholeheartedly, that you people come together in life for reasons. I think we're we're kind of magnetic. We're when we think about something or think about something that we're looking for in life. Things that we need come to us. Everybody says, How did you meet Hugo? I'm like, I really don't even know. I said, I need I needed his help and didn't even know it. You know, it's kind of the same thing. So Randy has wrote a book. It's called The Third Element, and we're going to be bringing that up here in a second. And and what it is, the missing key to activating the law of attraction. So we're going to bring him on. Randy, how are you doing, man?

SPEAKER_01 2:21

Every day is a great day.

SPEAKER_05 2:23

That's good. That's good. Is that part of the law of attraction? You just have to say that it's a great day, or what goes on with this the whole law of attraction?

SPEAKER_01 2:31

That's part of it. It really comes down to, as you said, it's our intentions. And it's up to me as to whether I have a great day or not. I'm not like, I'm not going to let anybody else decide for me.

SPEAKER_05 2:41

Yeah, it's so good. So true. So let's dig into that. So the book you have out is called The Third Element. And it has to do with the law of attraction, but you dig deeper.

From Physicist To Personal Growth

SPEAKER_05 2:50

You go into, you actually mentioned, though, I did do some breezing through this today. You do mention about the secret, which was the movie, the book. It was, you know, what 15 years ago, it was the big craze. And you're saying that you just dig a little deeper.

SPEAKER_01 3:02

So let's dig a little deeper and about to the subnuclear level. I don't go any farther than that.

SPEAKER_05 3:10

He uh by the way, I have to bring up two. He is, he was before, before he turned 28, I think it was, somewhere in that range, he was a physicist and an engineer. That part blows my mind. Here you are talking about emotions and law of attraction, all these things.

SPEAKER_01 3:25

And I'm like, how in the world did you get into this type of work? I met a woman in 1989 who I spent three years with. We were romantic partners for three years, and she was into spirituality and personal growth. And once I started learning it, the unseen components of the human experience, emotions, spirituality, things that are bigger than us, it just blew my mind and it got my attention. Because really, physics is easy. Dealing with emotions and people, that's challenging. That takes a lifetime to learn. And so that's been a lot more exciting and a lot more interesting and more challenging for me.

SPEAKER_05 4:01

So what you're saying is nobody gets a master's degree in emotions, right? But you can get a doctorate in physicists, you know, as a physicist, but that's not gonna happen with emotions.

SPEAKER_01 4:09

Yeah, it's just it's trial and error, and I was really lucky. So I met Maria, and then about a year into our relationship, I went to a business communication seminar or uh retreat. And during that retreat, I had this huge emotional release about something my uncle had said 12 years earlier. And then I went back to work four days later, and the problem I'd been working on for months of people around me who are incompetent were just solved immediately. Those people became competent or they left my life and the issue went away. And being a scientist, cause and effect, the cause was my emotional

The Emotional Release That Changed Everything

SPEAKER_01 4:43

release. I was in a big group of people, I broke down, I cried the tears, I let that energy go. Because what was said just hurt me deeply, and I pushed that emotion aside. And once I released that old emotional energy, that old wound, then my physical reality changed. And I made the connection between the release of emotions and my physical reality changing. Because the problem of competence, I would looked at it, like I say, for months, with better planning, being more clear in my thoughts, being more deliberate in my actions, and I wasn't paying attention to the emotions because nobody had shared that with me. But once I had that experience, then it opened my eyes and I started looking at everything in life as to what is the emotional component of this experience.

SPEAKER_05 5:28

Interesting. Yeah, and and most people don't make that tie uh together. You know, most people don't look at it the way the way you're looking at it, which is which is really interesting. So let's get into one of the things uh that what I had on here is one of my notes is what is your explanation of the law of attraction? How does it work? How do we get better at attracting the things we desire, personal or career?

SPEAKER_01 5:46

So, law of attraction is creating our our reality instant to instant. And if you look back to two experiments that were run 99 years ago, or one was an experiment, one was theory. So, first of all, the double slit theorem, double slit experiment, where they they shot individual electrons or individual protons at the two slots that went the energy went through these slots, and on the backside, they hit a photographic

Quantum Experiments And Resonance Explained

SPEAKER_01 6:11

target, like a piece of film. And it was all covered up in the dark, and they're shooting these individual pieces of energy at the target, and they separate, they go to this through the two slits like a wave would, and they re-engage in the backside like a wave would. Well, then they took the lid off this experiment and they watched it with their human eyes without touching anything. And by simply observing this exact same experiment, these energy particles now, or energy waves, excuse me, acted like particles. And they said, holy cow, matter is energy until we observe it or until it's called into action and suddenly it becomes solid matter. So that was the double-sled experiment in 1927, and then completely unrelated, Werner Heisenberg, a German physicist, figured out Heisenberg's uncertainty principle. He postulated that we cannot know a particle's position and energy at the same time, or it's energy and momentum at the same time. So this means that if we go to the next higher level of dimensionality, there's multiple universes that exist and we experience one at a time. So, in this, in one reality, I'm sitting there with you in your studio, but that's not the reality that we're experiencing. It is real, but we as humans can only experience one reality at a time. So, law of attraction says how do I resonate with a person's thoughts? How do I resonate with their actions? And how do I resonate with their emotions? And because there's infinite possibilities for us to live out, it chooses the possibility that fits resonance with us, resonance with everybody around us, and how we all work together to learn everything we can learn and get the the good experiences and the irritations we need for our growth moment by moment.

SPEAKER_05 8:00

I love that. Good experiences and irritations. So there's good and bad, basically. There's there's it's not everything. I mean, it's not like all good.

SPEAKER_01 8:09

We can judge it as bad, but if what I share in the book is if we learn to look at every irritation as a gift, which I believe it is, and we say, okay, this gift of an irritation is reminding me of something from the past where I can either change my mindset or I can heal an old emotional trauma, even if it's something really small, I can heal that old emotional wound, then the law of attraction is no longer obligated to remind me of what's gone. So I have to feel it. It's like storing gasoline in a metal can. Emotions are bigger than time and space. And if I didn't feel it being embarrassed in the eighth grade, and I push that down because I'm 13, I'm a man now. So I'm gonna push down our emotions, but that energy is bigger than time and space, and it wants to be felt. And the law of attraction says, I love you and I want you to release this, so I'm gonna irritate you today. Mind you, you can let this go.

SPEAKER_05 9:01

Wow, that's deep stuff. That's deep stuff. I can tell you're a physicist.

SPEAKER_00 9:04

Yeah, this is the first time we get this intellectual. This is very deep.

SPEAKER_05 9:10

Yeah, very deep stuff. But I love it, it's very cool. So, so what it said, what makes Randy different is that he doesn't ask leaders to trust their feelings. He helps them understand why their feelings are already running the show. I love how the whole we just we go back and forth with this different guests we've had on. We've had like two or three different guests recently. One is was of the thought of, you know, that you don't bring emotions or feelings to work as a leader. And the other one we had on just not too long ago, Heather was on here, and she she just said that you know, you should be in touch with your employees or your leadership and and show your emotions and show that you're human and care for your your people that are working with you. So, you know, obviously, when you say here that it says trust their feelings, it helps them understand their feelings are already running the show. Like, explain that.

SPEAKER_01 9:58

Okay, so hang on. So we can trust our intuition, we can also trust that our feelings are valid and need to be felt, but we should never make any decisions based on our emotions. Right. So the idea is to acknowledge and embrace our emotions, find time outside of work to work through our own emotional trauma outside of work, then we show up at work and we're more clear. Once I became more clear, I let go of the anger, and then below that was the disappointment and the betrayal and abandonment, all those other issues. And I'm not perfect, I'm still working through emotions every day. Yeah, but once I became more clear, then I could listen to people, I could give them space to feel their emotions, I could acknowledge them for what they're feeling, and then I can be more vulnerable. And what this means is I could say, I don't have all the answers, I need your help. I'm not sure what to do here. Let's do this as a group. If you go back to me 40 years ago, there's no way I would have done that because I thought I would have lost the respect of the people I lead. Instead, when I show up strong enough to be vulnerable, they look at me and they say, Holy cow, this man is so confident in who he is, he can show us his weaknesses, and then they it builds their respect. And also when I pay attention to them and I appreciate them, I get their respect. And when I get the respect, then we work better together. So that's the short version.

SPEAKER_02 11:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:16

Deal with the emotions outside of work and show up more clear and caring and connect with the people we work with.

SPEAKER_05 11:21

Yeah, and that's kind of what Heather said too. It makes sense. The other person was on the show the other day, she kind of said that too. It's not like you want to go in and show that you're you're frustrated about something, you deal with that, but then you you go to them and show that you have emotions, that you know, that it's okay to be have some emotions. I I agree with that. And that's it's the idea that emotions are bad for business is something many of us absorbed early and never questioned. Tackling that bias starts with recognizing that emotional awareness is a skill, not a liability.

SPEAKER_01 11:50

Absolutely a skill, because there's three things people need more than money. They need

Leadership Without Reacting To Feelings

SPEAKER_01 11:56

to be acknowledged for who they are. Yeah, I need to see them, remember their name, remember something about them. I don't have to go drink beer with them after work, but I need to acknowledge them as a spiritual being on a human path, doing the best they can. They are a soul. They they need to be acknowledged. Second is do they feel like they're contributing to the cause? A lot of people's life, they feel meaningless. So if I can help them feel that they're contributing to a good cause and making a difference at work, now suddenly work becomes more important to them than their home life. Right now eventually they'll get to where their confidence builds up and their home life improves. But they need to feel like they're contributing. And then third, they need to feel like they belong to the group. Are they one of us? Are we accepting them into our world? So when we do these three things of acknowledgement, the sense of contribution and the sense of belonging, then it sets them at ease. Now they want to succeed. And also, if I come with personal frustration, I can't push that down. People are gonna hear it, they're gonna feel it. And whether I'm walking into a team member meeting at work or I'm walking into a boardroom meeting with a bunch of tough guys and gals who are all gonna be intellectual, if I'm feeling frustrated, they're gonna sense it. If I'm feeling angry, they're gonna sense it. We can't turn those emotions off. Now I can write them down before I go into the meeting and acknowledge them and say, I'm gonna talk to you later. Please hang on, please wait. Yeah. And that makes a big difference because now I'm aware of my emotions. And the awareness is the best place to start.

SPEAKER_05 13:43

You talk about that. Uh, there's somewhere else, you talk about writing it down, writing down those emotions because then they become about being tangible. You know, explain that. Like when you write them down, it actually helps you run through it or work through it.

SPEAKER_01 13:56

I like to take a few steps to get there. It absolutely does what you said. It we it helps us become aware of it, it helps us work through it. If we have to push it aside for a moment, because sometimes we do. Sometimes we have a serious situation where God, I'm feeling frustrated, I'm feeling sad, and I have to push that aside. But if I write it down, then it's almost like a child where you tell them, okay, I'm gonna go get you some ice cream later today. Just behave for me for the moment.

SPEAKER_05 14:22

Been there, done that. Yeah, remember, I was just on a Disney cruise. I get all of that.

SPEAKER_01 14:27

And so that works. So when I tell people is write down a piece of paper, divide it into four columns. The first column is where is the problem outside of me? Second column is what is the logical solution? The third column is what kind of a judgment do I have around this situation? Am I judging myself? Am I judging somebody? Am I judging God or the weather? Or's my judgment? And then under here, there, here's the real power. Is what's the emotion under that judgment? Am I disappointed? Am I feel betrayed? Do I feel jealous? Do I feel helpless? Now that I've acknowledged that emotion, I've done it in a logical progression. So my thinking mind doesn't shut off the process. My thinking mind has to be involved in the process of acknowledging and healing my emotions, or it says, Nope, we're not gonna feel that. That hurts. The mind protects us from everything except itself.

SPEAKER_05 15:19

Interesting. That's good. Very good. Yeah, that's gonna another bullet here. I had was you say you're you said your mind will think that you have thousands of problems. This has a lot to do with this, is what we just talked about. And I love this. You said your mind will think you have thousands of problems or issues when, but when you write them and then you write them down, they become tangible and you realize it's not what you thought. And that's so true. There's a lot of times I'm stressed out, and I'm like, oh my God, I got a million things to do today for work, and I gotta do this and this. And then all of a sudden you pull a piece of paper out and you actually write down the things you have to do today, it's not as many things as you thought it was.

SPEAKER_01 15:54

And then my mind already says, Okay, I can do this, I can conquer this. I don't know. I'm very few times I don't think I've ever got to page two on my list of problems. Right. And even in page two or page three, I say, okay, I can do this. We're intelligent human beings, we've taken on huge projects and task lists, even if it's just building something in the backyard. And we know that once the problem is defined, we can accomplish what we need to accomplish. And so it's just a matter of taking away the mind's interpretation of a problem that's not as big as we think it is, and then the willingness to say, I'm gonna feel the emotions, even though I know they're gonna be painful. I'm gonna find the time and place.

SPEAKER_05 16:32

Yeah. Yeah, it's it's that's that's very good. You know, I was thinking about also earlier today when I was looking at some of your stuff. You know, I'm big into the the reticular activating system, you know, with a lot of people talk about that. Wayne Dyer talks about it, Ed Milet talks about it, and there's things like that. Do you I almost feel that sometimes the law of attraction uses that system also? I tend to think that when we are, when we are thinking about something or you have something on your mind that you're really trying to bring to you, or you're really trying to make part of your life or or a success that you're trying to achieve, you know, I think what happens is you you start listening and and hearing things different, and you tend to be like, oh my gosh, like that person just said that, you know, and and then you kind of bring them into the fold and

The Four Column Write Down Method

SPEAKER_05 17:16

all of a sudden they become part of your lives. Is that do you see that in the same?

SPEAKER_01 17:20

Well, it's both. We finally go looking for. So if I go looking for something, I'm gonna be more likely to see it. But at the same time, when I'm thinking the thoughts and I'm setting my intentions, or I'm just imagining something, yeah. That's a vibration in my mind, that's a vibration in the molecules in my brain that and those waveforms go out into the entire universe. And and the law of attraction says, I see that picture in your imagination, and I'm going to amplify then that in the reality around you. And at the same time, we start looking for it. So it's the two working together.

SPEAKER_05 17:52

Yeah. And is that prayer? I mean, wouldn't you consider that to be a prayer also? I mean, when we sit, if you're if you're giving gratitude or you're praying at night, or whatever you do, whoever God, whatever spirit you believe in, I mean, that's kind of putting it out into the universe, also.

SPEAKER_01 18:06

Every thought is a prayer, every action is a prayer, every emotion that we feel is a little different because that's how we're already connected, but every thought is a prayer.

SPEAKER_05 18:16

Interesting. Very good. That's a good way of looking at it. Every thought's a prayer. I like that. Very good. So then let's get into that. This was something I saw in here, which I love. The intro to your book had four different things, four different questions. And one, and I'm gonna go down through the questions and maybe you can kind of highlight. What's that? You know what it is, right? And it comes up at the end of the book, also. I kind of, like I said, I kind of skimmed through it because I just got it today. What if the world really does revolve around us? It was another thing. What if nothing in our life is by chance? What if the only thing holding us back from reaching our full potential is ourself? What if this book holds the key to your true power and happiness? Let's deal with those first three, the three questions there. What if the world really does revolve around us? I've never heard of anybody say that, but it's interesting because if the if the law if you believe in the law of attraction, then you do believe that there's a certain part of the universe that does revolve around every single one of us.

SPEAKER_01 19:15

Well, I take the point that we don't have to believe in it. That's the really the reality. Everything good, bad, and otherwise that we experience is a reflection of a part of us. So it's not that we want the the world to revolve around our ego. That's not the part.

SPEAKER_05 19:29

That's a different, yeah, ego is different. Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_01 19:31

Yeah, but the world that's created for us to experience is created moment by moment in response to who we are. And it if we try and change somebody outside of ourselves, good luck with that. I haven't been able to change anybody outside of myself unless they were willing to change it, they asked for help. And even then, they usually don't want to change.

Intentions Prayer Gratitude And Ego

SPEAKER_01 19:51

But I always have the power to come back and change myself. And and when I put aside blame and I say, okay, I'm responsible for fixing this by looking at myself self, changing my thoughts, changing my actions, and healing my emotions, now I'm in the in the driver's seat as much as I can be. And I don't want somebody else to be in the driver's seat. I don't want chance to be in the driver's seat. And when I take that position, which I've taken that position for 34 years now, the the world works for me. And yeah, there's irritations, yeah, there's there's disappointments and all those things happen. But I've experienced so much success and been able to work with so many wonderful people based on changing my perspective and changing what I'm looking for and changing how I treat people. I've experienced an amazing life. And that's the reason I wrote the book is I want other people to have great results like I've had in my life.

SPEAKER_05 20:41

Yeah, I think and it's and it's funny how you know, I keep thinking back to there's a guy that does a podcast, and this were when you were just saying about things that people kind of open your mind to, or you you kind of become aware of things. And when we have, what is the saying I just heard recently? You know, if you're you're if you have awareness, you have choices. If you have choices, you have freedom. And I thought that was a great, great saying. And somebody that that I just commented on today, and this guy's been on our show a couple times, and his name is Mitchell Osman. If you get a chance to listen to him, he's really good. He has it's called the Dad Nation. And I'll tell you, he's one of those guys that I read his Instagram messages that he has and his quotes, and a lot of it's uh well, all of it's about fatherhood. And I don't know if you have children or not or whatever, but it's about fatherhood. And and it's it he opens, it's things that he opens your mind to that in the moment you you realize that there's the possibility of being, not that I'm a bad dad, so it's the same kind of stuff, but that you can be better at anything. You know, I don't think we're we're bad humans. A lot of us are not bad humans, and we all think some people think, oh, we need to be fixed, or I need to do this or do that. But if you can just change a little part of your of yourself, yourself, you can't change somebody else, like you just said, change a little bit of yourself each day, you're better than you were two weeks ago, you know, and I think that's important. So I I love that message. I don't know if you want to expand on that or not, or you you agree with what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_01 22:00

Well, here's the thing even if somebody doesn't believe in the law of attraction, try being a better person or being good or being more kind or being more friendly for a week. It's gonna bring better results, whether whether the law of attraction is real or not, whether you believe in the law of attraction or not, what I share, I share in a way that can help anybody. This isn't about religion, this isn't about my beliefs, this is about my experiences, my observations, and what I've seen is real. And this is about taking charge of our life through optimism, through, and also through surrender. So I have a great deal of faith. I'm not religious, but I'm very spiritual.

SPEAKER_02 22:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:36

And I have seen so many beautiful things happen to me when I've been willing to surrender and say to whoever's bigger than us, show me an answer, show me something. I'm ready. And the answer comes through. And after you after I've done that a few thousand times, then I start to believe.

SPEAKER_05 22:52

And you know what's funny about that too, Randy, is we and Hugo and I talk about this is that when you're in that position, where you're in that place where you just said, you know, show me the way or whatever it is, the ego is completely distinguished or is yeah, the can't even it can't be around. When and we talk about gratitude, well the one thing that can't happen during giving gratitude is your ego cannot be there. There's no ego during gratitude. It's the best thing to do.

SPEAKER_01 23:16

It's a great cheat code. It's just slow down. I'm grateful for some okay I'm having a shitty day. Well god I got a house to live in or maybe I got somebody else's couch I have to I I'm sleeping on. But at least I get to sleep on their couch or maybe I'm sleeping in my car. It's better than sleeping on the sidewalk. I have running water. I live in America for God's sakes. That's amazing even with all the challenges in this country it is the best place on earth to be absolutely I've been to many other countries. And so when we start looking for the good then we start having a true sense of gratitude. That's a feeling starts with thoughts it ends up being a feeling and then as you said the ego kind of becomes quiet. And it's not that we want to kill the ego that the ego has to learn to partner with two things. The ego can learn to partner with our higher self through our intuition and it can learn to partner through our emotional self through our inner child. And a lot of men will say inner child I don't have an inner child okay well do you like to drive a fast car or to skydive or to do something else dangerous or challenging that's the inner child. That's where creativity comes from that's where joy comes from that's where the where the beautiful experiences interacting with our families come from. So we partner with our higher self through intuition our inner child to deal with our emotions and now we find balance and it doesn't happen right away but I can tell you anybody who decides to go down that path here's the fun thing the law of attraction will say oh you want personal growth you want to find more peace you want to find more success and happiness I'll help you.

SPEAKER_05 24:43

That's very cool.

SPEAKER_01 24:44

Yeah so let's go into the the second part what is nothing yeah what if nothing in our life is by chance nothing in our life is by chance it's not it's not so everything at a nuclear level responds to what a higher source is is calling it into action to be and energy is all there really is at every level we go deeper and deeper we find more and more space and then we think we found a particle and we dig into that particle and we find out it's just energy it's just a waveform and this is all just a big hologram. This is a simulation now it hurts if we if we cut our finger or we break our leg it still hurts that simulation it has consequences but when we step back and say wait a minute there is no spoon as as in the matrix right and and we can decide what everything is just suspend belief for a while and try that and if we try that and we change our intention and we have good intentions the law of attraction gets behind us and brings us more good things.

SPEAKER_05 25:49

Yeah so true what if the only thing holding us back from reaching our full potential is ourself. I think that's a lot of people I think is they're the they're their own enemy they're their own source of of um negativity and holding themselves back from doing what they really want. I have friends that way that I have known for 30 years and are still stuck in this thing of woe is me and you know and and that the world is happening to me not for me and all you know all these things. And it's amazing because eventually you have to distance yourself because you kind of you can't be around that energy anymore. So I think it that is very true reaching out to your full potential by by yourself or ourselves.

SPEAKER_01 26:29

Why not why not change ourselves it doesn't really cost us anything.

SPEAKER_05 26:33

Right. And I always think too if if what you're doing right now or the past 30 years of your life or wherever 40 years 50 years if it was based on negativity and and the whole doubting and all that stuff and you don't like where it got you wow guess what you have another choice.

SPEAKER_01 26:51

Remember the Seinfeld episode episode where George just did the opposite everything that he thought he should do and his life worked out. Yeah so it's it's kind of like that in a way yep absolutely we have control over our thoughts our actions and to deal with our emotions and and I've just found that I don't really have control over anything else. It's not that I don't want to I'd love to just rule the whole world if I could but I don't have I don't have the ability to do that. Nobody else does except we can rule our own world when we take responsibility for it.

SPEAKER_05 27:20

Absolutely and then the last question is you know what if this book holds the key to your true power and happiness so tell us why you wrote the book what's you know give us a little you know give us what are the the the points you would say you know what if I was going to give you three points on why to read this book what would it be?

SPEAKER_01 27:36

Forty years ago I was not happy I was frustrated and I was an asshole to work with wow and then when I and when I started seeing life from okay I have to change me and my emotions are important and I have to be clear in my thoughts and my actions and I started making those changes with Maria's help and guidance and support then I found amazing success. I met wonderful people I changed the industry that I was in. I have been able to provide jobs for thousands of people and serve millions of customers and the material success is all wonderful. But what really has changed is the level of peace that I have even

Why The Book And Final Takeaways

SPEAKER_01 28:16

when facing problems today the level of success that I've achieved through working with people and seeing the best in people who doubted themselves and helping them become better at work and in their personal lives. And I just want everybody in on this planet anybody who has the the chance and who has the the time to read the book to say this makes sense and I'm willing to look at my life differently and hopefully they can find just a tenth of the success I've had and a tenth of the peace I've had and if I can only touch 10 people in the world then it's all worth it.

SPEAKER_05 28:50

Yeah that's awesome man. So what was you you there had to just real quick and then we're going to wrap it up but there had to be like a was there that moment that you remember that you you you said you were an asshole before you were an ass to work with before or whatever.

SPEAKER_01 29:03

Yeah you know so what what there was there a moment you're like damn I'm just I'm being a I'm a jerk I'm not I'm not treating people well was there something some did somebody tell you you know what you're an idiot did they say you're a jerk did they come to you and say you know what you need to think about how you treat people Maria told me that in 1989 she told me that she was just frank she was she was kind sweet woman still sweet to this day where's Maria are you married to Maria no she I talked to her about six months ago I didn't talk to her for 33 years and finally I was like her down after I finished the book and she was grateful and we got a few conversations oh awesome she just would hold me accountable for anything that I needed to see and she would just tell me bluntly she did not hold back. So I made it through some progress from 1989 on and then 1999 I had sold my first group of companies and started over three years earlier and I was out of money and I'm at companies weren't successful and I was getting frustrated and I had three employees who were part of my management team come into my office one afternoon and they said Randy we need to talk to you can we shut the door and I said yes and they said you're not going to want to hear this but we need to tell you you are the biggest problem in your business right now and you need to find a way to be the best person you can be because you're not being your best and we need you to seriously consider how you're showing up wow that's an eye opener there in business.

SPEAKER_00 30:26

That's very good like that's very good on their part though that takes guts yeah it does take guts and and and and love and care for you as an individual for them to to do that to say that true.

SPEAKER_01 30:39

Yeah you go you're right exactly and I thank them to this day for being bold enough brave enough to speak frankly to me and tell me the truth.

SPEAKER_05 30:46

Yeah that's cool. Those were good people in your life I'll tell you because you know there's a lot of times people like you said people won't tell you the truth especially if you're the leader people tend to not want to but then again what's funny now the way you are because you are vulnerable you're a vulnerable leader and you're you you allow to I think when people realize that they know you're when you realize you're not perfect and you allow people to see that that you understand you're not perfect they actually feel that they can level with you if they need to whether you're the boss or you're the leader or the owner or whoever you are I think that people feel that they're that they're that you're approachable you know and and you know that you probably weren't approachable back then.

SPEAKER_01 31:25

And here's the important part I never would have got there with my brain alone. I'm a smart guy. Yeah I work hard but that would not have been enough to help me get to where I'm at today I had to deal with the pain. I had to deal I had a great childhood but I still had trauma we all do. Yeah when we're four years old or we're 14 years old the world is bigger than us and it's it's a traumatic place to be yeah emotions are big and bigger than time and space and we're human and and when we start down the path of healing of spiritual growth personal growth whatever you want to call it we don't have to do it perfectly and we're gonna make mistakes and that's okay.

SPEAKER_05 31:58

That is okay and that's the only that's the way everything is in life though I got to tell you know it's it's the way everything is you know we're not gonna know it all you have ice cream ice cream is pretty much always good you and my daughter and my son and my wife would agree I'm not a big an ice cream person believe it or not I don't know what's wrong with me.

SPEAKER_01 32:16

I'm more of a chocolate cake and apple pie guy but I loved having you on Randy thanks so much tell us where we can get you uh tell us about the how they find the book and all that stuff real quick so we can uh so people can find you the book is on a major online bookseller and then through my website randelyman.com there's links to the book to my social media to follow me there LinkedIn I have free offers there I have free tapping videos and uh people can get access to what I share for free. This isn't about selling books this is about helping people find a path to more personal freedom.

SPEAKER_05 32:49

And that's why we had you on we don't like when people are on here just to sell books. We want people to actually contribute without it's it's about giving before you get anything back. So it's that's very cool. And also your Instagram page is great too. So I would send people to Randy Lyman it's pretty simple to find him on there it's L-Y-M-A-N I am Randy Lyman is where I am Randy Lyman. There you go. It's really good and he's got a lot of information there a lot of little reels and things like that that'll help you out. So uh that's about it. See you Randy All right holy mackerel that was a good show. That got deep yeah I mean there's nothing like talking to a physicist you know what I mean seriously I might have to listen back with that and go in through like a dictionary to look up some of the terms but uh no that was a good time. So that's him the author of the third element the missing key to activating the law of attraction there you go. All right we'll see you next Thursday at 7 p.m we're gonna have another great guest coming your way all right see ya