Farmer Tom's Friday Rebellion

Friday is fun day for Farmer Tom, movies you wouldn't see with your brother, grounding and touching grass, the frequency for health and wellness, dog hair problems, Shakespeare quiz.

Super Familiar with The Wilsons 
Find us on instagram at instagram.com/superfamiliarwitthewilsons
and on Youtube
Contact us! familiarwilsons@gmail.com

Super Familiar with The Wilsons
Find us on instagram at instagram.com/superfamiliarwiththewilsons
and on Youtube
Contact us! familiarwilsons@gmail.com

A Familiar Wilsons Production

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:00

You are made of meat, my friend, all the way down.

SPEAKER_00: 0:03

The following podcast uses words like and and also

SPEAKER_01: 0:08

if

SPEAKER_00: 0:09

you're not into any of that shit, then now's your chance.

SPEAKER_01: 0:12

Three, two, one.

SPEAKER_00: 0:13

Run.

SPEAKER_01: 0:16

Welcome

SPEAKER_00: 0:20

to Super Familiar with the Wilsons. I'm Josh.

SPEAKER_02: 0:22

I'm Amanda. Usually you let me do that. I'm so confused.

SPEAKER_00: 0:26

Okay, let's start over. Ready? No. Three, two, one. Two, one.

SPEAKER_02: 0:30

Welcome to Super Familiar with the Wilsons. I'm Amanda.

SPEAKER_00: 0:34

And I'm Josh. There you go. This week has caused me to check up on all of our friends and see how they're doing because some of them are doing well and some of them are not doing well. And so I found out that Chicken Tom, have I told you this? Have I talked about this?

SPEAKER_02: 0:50

Not on this show.

SPEAKER_00: 0:52

Chicken Tom is now Farmer Tom. I don't remember. Yeah,

SPEAKER_02: 0:57

yeah, yeah. What did he get?

SPEAKER_00: 0:59

He got him a tractor.

SPEAKER_02: 1:00

Well, he does have quite a bit of property.

SPEAKER_00: 1:04

I think he has five acres.

SPEAKER_02: 1:05

So this makes more sense than us getting a tractor.

SPEAKER_00: 1:08

Yes, just barely. It

SPEAKER_02: 1:10

would turn one time done.

SPEAKER_00: 1:11

But I think he's preparing to live off the grid is what I think.

SPEAKER_02: 1:15

Or live off the land.

SPEAKER_00: 1:17

Well, I think that that's the same thing, isn't it?

SPEAKER_02: 1:19

No, living off the grid means you have no electricity, no like... You're gonna have satellite phones or something. I don't know.

SPEAKER_00: 1:26

And living off the land is you don't have electricity. No, it means you eat- You suckle from the teat of Mother Earth.

SPEAKER_02: 1:33

No, it means that you grow your own food. I

SPEAKER_00: 1:37

think I can more easily imagine Chicken Tom sucking from an imaginary teat from Mother Earth.

SPEAKER_02: 1:42

Okay. Anyway, tell us about Chicken Tom farmer slash Farmer Tom's adventures.

SPEAKER_00: 1:48

I just imagine that at some point, I'm gonna see pictures of him posted on the socials with nothing but overalls, no shirt. With no

SPEAKER_02: 1:55

shirt under it.

SPEAKER_00: 1:56

And a straw hat, perhaps.

SPEAKER_02: 1:57

And a piece of grass sticking out of his mouth.

SPEAKER_00: 2:00

Yes, and again, this doesn't square with everything that I thought I knew about Tom, because he's in IT. So I don't know how you can live off the grid and be in IT as well. So I work with Tom, and he has saved up so many PTO days. that I think for the lion's share of this year, he's just taken Fridays off. So he basically works a four-day work week now.

SPEAKER_02: 2:26

See, I have enough PTO. I could do that. I could take off probably at least two months. So I could get a good share of Fridays out of the way. I just can't. These people keep scheduling meetings. Tom, get in touch. How do I do this?

SPEAKER_00: 2:41

What is today? Yeah, he's available today, I think. Anyway. I was listening to the Be There With Belson podcast last night, and I want you to guess what these two brothers, they went to a movie together. These two brothers who were in their 40s, I want you to guess what movie you think that they went and saw together, and I'm just gonna say you're not gonna be able to guess.

SPEAKER_02: 3:06

Well, I don't even know what movies are out. The only movies I know that are out is currently that Smile 2 movie, the horror movie.

SPEAKER_00: 3:13

And

SPEAKER_02: 3:15

Moana's coming out soon, Moana 2. So that's all I know. I know nothing about what's in the theaters right now.

SPEAKER_00: 3:21

Well, also they're in the UK, so they might have different things in the theater as well. But you will recognize this movie, but it is new. I'll give you this. It's a sequel.

SPEAKER_02: 3:31

Is it Gladiator 2? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 3:33

Is that... You think I'd be making a big deal about you guessing them going seeing Gladiator 2 together?

SPEAKER_02: 3:38

Well, no, because... Well, yeah, because famously Dan doesn't watch movies, right?

SPEAKER_00: 3:42

No, I think that that's just his character. His character doesn't... Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_02: 3:45

All right, so let

SPEAKER_00: 3:46

me think about... His podcast character doesn't

SPEAKER_02: 3:47

watch movies. What else is in the theater right now? Well, Smile 2, it's not that?

SPEAKER_00: 3:52

You'll probably be as surprised as I was to hear it.

SPEAKER_02: 3:56

Okay, what is it?

SPEAKER_00: 3:57

Paddington 3.

SPEAKER_02: 4:01

Okay, so... I heard or saw, maybe when he was doing the quiz, he was talking about Paddington. Maybe it was in our chat. I don't know, but I thought they were just making fun of Paddington. How sweet and cute is this? I'm

SPEAKER_00: 4:15

just telling you that there's no other movie short of them going and seeing a triple X rated movie together that surprises me more than them seeing Paddington 3. But

SPEAKER_02: 4:27

that's like they're recapturing their childhood, maybe?

UNKNOWN: 4:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 4:31

Well, I mean, that's the thing that I often wonder because I don't have any siblings, right? And you don't have any siblings that are around your age.

SPEAKER_02: 4:37

No.

SPEAKER_00: 4:38

But I do wonder for siblings who are around the same age, if their relationship or at least part of their relationship is kind of stuck in that seven to 12 year old phase.

SPEAKER_02: 4:47

Well, your two oldest boys are only two years apart. Do you think that of them?

SPEAKER_00: 4:54

I think that, again, there are aspects of their relationship that hasn't changed and probably won't ever change. I do believe that there's no one else in their lives that can get to each other as much as they can get to each other. You mean like annoying each other? Yeah, or like pushing their buttons. And so in that way, although I don't think they do it as much anymore, but I still see flashes of it. So I'm just wondering if this is just like... Like seven and nine-year-old Dan and Gavin.

SPEAKER_02: 5:23

Just really loved

SPEAKER_00: 5:25

Paddington. Like they're just kind of sitting, they take their blankies into the theater.

SPEAKER_02: 5:29

Maybe they take their stuff Paddington's.

SPEAKER_00: 5:32

I don't know. Belson's getting in touch. Who knows? See, I don't have any siblings. So I don't know what it's like. You've had siblings, but the age has been... I

SPEAKER_02: 5:43

mean, my next... sibling closest to me is 14 years older than I am and then 15 and then 18. So I didn't grow up with siblings

SPEAKER_00: 5:51

close to me. You grew up with surrogate parents almost, I feel like.

SPEAKER_02: 5:55

Yeah, yeah. And my nephew, though, my oldest brother's son is only seven years old. I was seven when he was born. So I'm much closer in age to him. So we do have some family things that we still hold on to now. But I don't think that we're stuck in like a man... No, that's not true. I'm still angry that my mom made me give up my Wendy's kids meal to him and he is like 42 and I'm mad about it still. So

SPEAKER_00: 6:25

maybe. You can hardly even say it, you're so angry.

SPEAKER_02: 6:28

Still, that's because I'm starting to slip into my Southern roots. I'm still angry about it. No, that doesn't sound right. Let's see if I can do this again. Mandy, Mandy was really mad, really, really mad that she got that Wendy's burger and her mama made her give it to him. And he didn't even want anything. We were in the line and she asked him what he wanted. He said he didn't want anything. And I said, that's not true. And she said, no, he doesn't want anything. It's fine. And so I ordered a kid's meal and we got it. And he decided he wanted it. And she made me get him. I was so mad. And she said, well, he's younger than you. So you just need to give it to him because he's just a baby. And I said, yes, but he's a baby who lied. Right. He said he didn't want it. We need to hold him to it. And I'm still mad about it.

SPEAKER_00: 7:17

I think I need you to stop now. Because I'm starting to picture what it's like to be married to Minnie Pearl.

SPEAKER_02: 7:26

Minnie Pearl is someone I grew up watching on Saturday nights because we watched Hee Haw. My mama. No, listen, when you talk about Hee Haw, you got to say it in this accent. This is a Southern Georgia accent because my daddy's from Vidalia. That's where the onions come from, y'all. And so... We would on Saturday nights, my mama and daddy would work out in the yard. My daddy would mow and my mama would sweep the front drive. And I hated that noise so much. And then she'd come inside and she would make BLT sandwiches on Wonder Bread. And we would watch Hee Haw and the Mandrell Sisters.

SPEAKER_00: 7:59

I like me some Mandrell Sisters. Did you have a favorite Mandrell Sister?

SPEAKER_02: 8:03

I like the blonde one.

SPEAKER_00: 8:04

Earlene.

SPEAKER_02: 8:05

I had an Aunt Earline, though, and they're very different.

SPEAKER_00: 8:07

And so it was weird for me. I should hope.

SPEAKER_02: 8:09

Yeah. Did you have a crush on one of them?

SPEAKER_00: 8:12

Earline? You

SPEAKER_02: 8:13

had a crush on Earline?

SPEAKER_00: 8:14

I mean, I was like five, but yes, Earline. As far as that could go. I

SPEAKER_02: 8:19

have to stop. I really, because I could just keep doing it. That's the thing is I could just keep doing

SPEAKER_00: 8:23

it. I hear our listeners turning off, like audibly listening. Sorry,

SPEAKER_02: 8:27

friends.

SPEAKER_00: 8:28

Yeah, I can't do that.

SPEAKER_02: 8:32

So what you're saying is you could not be married to a Sweet Southern Belle?

SPEAKER_00: 8:35

I think part of it is that when you do that, you just don't stop talking. And that's part of it too. And I get faster. And it's overwhelming.

SPEAKER_02: 8:45

That's fast. Because there's the thing. There's that thing that Southern people think that, or people think that Southern people draw and talk really slowly, and that's true.

SPEAKER_00: 8:54

Well, it's different regions though as well. It

SPEAKER_02: 8:56

tends to be more of an Alabama draw. But I've got that like, southern Georgia and maybe it's just maybe it's just my dad's family are all big talkers and my mom's family from Alabama weren't and so maybe that's just maybe it's more just like personality instead of region because but although my sister doesn't talk nearly as much as I do so

SPEAKER_00: 9:20

well it seems to me that I don't know what the accent does to you. I don't know if it's like the shape that your mouth makes to make those noises out your mouth. Noises. But clearly you utilize oxygen more efficiently

SPEAKER_02: 9:34

while

SPEAKER_00: 9:35

you're talking like that because you do not do that in your regular human being voice.

SPEAKER_02: 9:43

Yeah, well, it's kind of fun.

SPEAKER_00: 9:45

For one of us. I walked outside the door today barefoot this morning. Better than

SPEAKER_02: 9:50

walking outside the window.

SPEAKER_00: 9:51

to get a breath of fresh air and get myself ready for the day. And it's something I used to do. I used to sit out back and sit by the plants and I don't really do that anymore.

SPEAKER_02: 10:00

Because the hurricanes ruin them. Go ahead. Sorry, I'm upset about them. Go ahead. You told me I could talk about whatever I wanted to this episode. Please talk about going outside and gathering your thoughts for your day.

SPEAKER_00: 10:13

So I went out front.

UNKNOWN: 10:16

Sorry.

SPEAKER_00: 10:18

And I was barefoot, and so I decided to walk on the grass. We have a tiny patch of grass between the sidewalk and the street. And... I've seen these things online and I don't think it's scientific. I think it's just like these frou-frou people again saying, oh, you know, you can get electricity from the earth if you walk barefoot. Have you heard about

SPEAKER_02: 10:39

this? Well, I'm aware of grounding, but electricity from the earth, I've never heard of.

SPEAKER_00: 10:44

But it's grounding, right?

SPEAKER_02: 10:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 10:46

I don't think that that's backed by science. I think it's backed by maybe pseudoscience, right? Yeah. But I will say that as I did that and I walked outside barefoot in the grass, like, it made me feel better.

SPEAKER_02: 10:59

Well, then that's all that matters, right?

SPEAKER_00: 11:01

Yeah, and so that's this whole thing of we tend to think like, I mean, there's the extreme where you fall for every little fad or every little thing that you see on social media is like, oh, I'm gonna wear the copper bracelets or I'm gonna do this or I'm gonna do the grounding thing. The other thing that I was reading about was apparently there's this this frequency, this tone that you can listen to that will help with ADHD. There's one that will help with PTSD and all of these things. And I always look these things up to see if they're backed by science because I'm up for trying new things, especially if they're going to benefit me. And most of them, the last sentence in whatever paragraph is, And this particular thing hasn't been confirmed or disconfirmed by science, by research. But to your point, and the thing that I kind of rested in today is that if it did make me feel better, then it doesn't matter if it's scientifically grounded or not.

SPEAKER_02: 12:08

I mean, the placebo effect is a thing, right? And I do think that we tend to want to lean into, well, it's evidence-based that this is going to work. But I think the reality is, or the proof is in the pudding is not what I really wanted to say, but for some reason that stuck in my head. It's whether or not you have some sort of reaction to it or some sort of response from it, I guess.

SPEAKER_00: 12:35

Yeah, and I think that the thing that closed me off to even trying certain things is more often than not, These miracle cures or these things that are supposed to help you also come with some sort of... And if you act now, you can get this for$9.99 type of thing. There's money tied to it. And so... I am naturally suspicious with things like that.

SPEAKER_02: 12:56

Well, my favorite are all of these diet things that they're like, oh, if you take this supplement, oh, if you do this, and then there's always the, you know, when combined with regular exercise and diet. Well, I think we just need to do the regular exercise and diet. Like we don't need all the other things. Now, I want the gummy that I can take and it'll make it all better, but that's not a reality. I will

SPEAKER_00: 13:17

say- Yeah, I've tried those gummies. They don't work for me.

SPEAKER_02: 13:19

I will say though- When I was in labor or after I had the 18-year-old, I can't remember if it was after she was born or I think it might have been, they had taken me back to the recovery room. Well, no, no, it doesn't matter. That makes it sound like I had C-section. I didn't. But anyway, I was in the mother and baby room and the labor and delivery nurse said to me, take a shower and And just stand in the water because there's really a lot of healing property in water. And she was kind of leaning into this. We're made of water. We're made from the earth. In these elements, there's a lot of healing in that. Good thing

SPEAKER_00: 14:04

she didn't have you go roll around in the dirt then.

SPEAKER_02: 14:06

Right. But I'm saying this is a nurse who has a degree in a scientific field. and she was leaning into the like stand in the water and just let it, and I still think about that. Like when I'm-

SPEAKER_01: 14:20

Did

SPEAKER_02: 14:20

it work? I mean, of course it did because somebody, you know, it's like it was, I don't know if it was the heat and just the muscles or if it was the idea that this was gonna make me better. I don't know, it worked. So same as your grounding with your feet.

SPEAKER_00: 14:33

Well, the thing is, is I'm naturally a skeptic though. I tried this one tone before 862 hertz or something like that, I don't remember. I tried it, totally not believing it would work, and whether subconsciously I wanted it to work, and so therefore the placebo effect happened, or it actually, outside of myself, it had an effect, whatever the answer is, it worked, and it calmed me down, and it slowed my heart rate, and all of the things. So nothing else matters. As long as I'm not hurting myself.

SPEAKER_02: 15:08

Well, I mean, but there is scientific... I'm sure there's scientific research into that. And we have a good friend that you can talk to about that. There is a lot of research into the rhythm and the healing properties of rhythm for children. And particularly, I mean, I study early childhood kids with trauma because it helps regulate... because it hearkens back to when they were in utero and they were surrounded by their mother's heartbeat.

SPEAKER_00: 15:43

So then in theory, if we were to construct like a nice cozy room, like that was real close, we put like a heartbeat in the walls, maybe it's a pink room, maybe it's... you know, nice and soft and there's like this cord that hangs from the wall that you can suckle for your food, that that would be like the ultimate thing.

SPEAKER_02: 16:07

Yeah, as long as you put grass on the ground.

SPEAKER_00: 16:09

No, no grass, ooh.

SPEAKER_02: 16:13

Anyway, yes. All right, let's, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. You've created a uterus and I've created... hair in places let's go

SPEAKER_00: 16:22

surely that exists though i'll bet you i'll bet you if we looked up like womb like room yeah yeah your womb room or

SPEAKER_02: 16:28

whatever womb room i'm sure it does that's a very niche like um hotel experience

SPEAKER_00: 16:35

well we certainly were trying to figure out what to do with the office and i think that i have an idea

SPEAKER_02: 16:39

i wanted to make it a british pub but okay

SPEAKER_00: 16:42

can we have like a little red button that you rub to open the door oh my

SPEAKER_02: 16:45

god what's wrong

SPEAKER_00: 16:47

with you

SPEAKER_02: 16:48

As long as you can find it.

SPEAKER_00: 16:49

I think I know where it is. Anyway, the other thing that I saw, apropos of nothing else about this part of the conversation, but the other thing that I saw is, and we can see it right now if we look out the window down at the lawn, the dog hair, there are clumps of our dog's hair that have been sitting in this yard for what, two weeks?

SPEAKER_02: 17:11

Do you know why I leave it there?

SPEAKER_00: 17:13

What are you going to do? Pick it up? I would assume that you leave it there so that the wind and the elements will disperse it. But

SPEAKER_02: 17:18

it doesn't. So I brush him outside and the dog leaves. Like you could make a new dog every day. He sheds so much and it's white. So it's very visible on the green grass. I leave it because I really think that birds use it to make nests.

SPEAKER_00: 17:31

Well, clearly they don't because it's still fucking there. It has not moved. It's available to them. Well, maybe they've tried and they can't Velcro that shit out of the grass.

UNKNOWN: 17:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 17:41

I am telling you that we need to hurricane proof our house using that hair because that hair is not going anywhere and it has been through the elements and I don't understand why it's still there.

SPEAKER_02: 17:53

You should post a picture of this on the socials with no explanation.

SPEAKER_00: 17:56

No one wants to see that. They're going to think that a rat has died there and then an animal feasted upon its carcass and just left its fur. Gross, disgusting. So it's game time.

UNKNOWN: 18:07

What time is it?

SPEAKER_02: 18:08

Oh, are we starting a new Wilson vs. Wilson? Are we taking a break from that?

SPEAKER_00: 18:12

We're taking a break from that, but I had to do this quiz. We had the quiz from Dan Belson last week. And-

SPEAKER_02: 18:19

Even though I lost, I enjoyed it.

SPEAKER_00: 18:21

Yeah, so I figured that I needed to do a quiz that can stand up to his type of quiz. Oh

SPEAKER_02: 18:27

God, I can't. You're gonna, if you're freaking doing like song quiz or like I put this through Google Translate, I don't want

SPEAKER_00: 18:34

to- No, this is very easy, okay? So this is, you have to, I'm gonna read you a phrase or a passage and you have to tell me if it's from one thing or the other thing. Oh,

SPEAKER_02: 18:42

I like these. Remember when we did Stephen King character or Dr. Seuss character? That was so good.

SPEAKER_00: 18:47

So you wanna know what this quiz is called? It's called Shakespeare or Papsmere. I

SPEAKER_02: 18:55

have many questions about how your brain got here, but I'm just going to let it ride.

SPEAKER_00: 19:00

So this has to do with, I'm going to read a passage and it's either having to do with something that Shakespeare said or it has to do with a medical procedure down there.

SPEAKER_02: 19:10

Okay, down there being anyone's genitals or specifically the vagina? Yeah. which is where the pap schmear happens.

SPEAKER_00: 19:19

That, yes. Schmear, by the way. That's not schmear.

SPEAKER_02: 19:21

It's like a schmear on a bagel.

SPEAKER_00: 19:23

Please don't ever say that again. If you have a schmear down there, then you need to see a doctor. And that's like a different, that's a different issue. Okay, so first one, I'm gonna read this passage and you tell me if it has to do with a female medical procedure or if it has to do, or if it's a passage from Shakespeare, basically. Okay. Ready? Here we go. Thy passage is forsaken with squamous, fair lady, and tis these that we examine for ought of ailment.

SPEAKER_02: 19:52

Okay, so here. This clearly sounds like Shakespearean language, but what I'm now wondering is if you have taken the doctor stuff and put it through ChatGPT and said, put this in Shakespearean language, and now I just don't know.

SPEAKER_00: 20:05

ChatGPT has nothing to do with this, but I did put everything in Shakespearean

SPEAKER_02: 20:10

language. Oh, God. Okay, pap smear. Pap smear.

SPEAKER_00: 20:13

That is correct.

SPEAKER_02: 20:15

What does it mean?

SPEAKER_00: 20:17

We're not

SPEAKER_02: 20:20

doing that. This is not an interesting quiz to people. They need to be able to interpret and maybe take care of their down there.

SPEAKER_00: 20:26

Squamous, and I don't even know if I'm saying that right, but squamous cells are a certain type of cell that they have to deal with. All right, next. In yon way lies a transformation zone where two kinds of cells meet as strangers yet live side by side. And it is here we search for signs of misfortune.

SPEAKER_02: 20:48

Okay, so I feel like it's Shakespeare, but it also might be about fraternal twins. Shakespeare.

SPEAKER_00: 20:56

Oh, you got that wrong. No, the transformation zone. In yon way lies a transformation zone. Transformation zone is the medical phrase there. Okay. Next. Prithi, know that metaplasia signifies a change most natural.

SPEAKER_02: 21:15

Pap smear?

SPEAKER_00: 21:16

That is correct. Is

SPEAKER_02: 21:17

that what I'm going through in perimenopause?

SPEAKER_00: 21:19

Metaplasia, yes. Here we go.

SPEAKER_02: 21:22

All I know is it makes me hot all the time and grumpy at you.

SPEAKER_00: 21:24

Wherefore, what's past is prologue. What is to come is yours and mine discharge.

SPEAKER_02: 21:31

Okay, that's Shakespeare.

SPEAKER_00: 21:32

You're certain I said discharge.

SPEAKER_02: 21:33

I know, but it's Shakespeare. Okay, very good.

SPEAKER_00: 21:37

Next, we followeth the wisdom of the Bethsaida, wherein every part is judged in careful kind and manner.

SPEAKER_02: 21:44

You said it's not Bethesda?

SPEAKER_00: 21:46

Yeah, that's what I said.

SPEAKER_02: 21:48

I was like, Bethsaida? That's Shakespeare.

SPEAKER_00: 21:52

That is medical. Oh, what does it mean? The Bethesda system is a system wherein you have things down there. Okay, next.

SPEAKER_02: 21:59

Okay, but I need to know what my Bethesda system is. Oh,

SPEAKER_00: 22:02

well, then look it up or ask your doctor. What can I say? These are the ones that guard thy cavern, known as epithelial, steadfast, and noble in their duty.

SPEAKER_02: 22:14

Oh, my God. It's... It's pap

SPEAKER_00: 22:20

smear. That is right. Epithelial cells. Next. Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war.

SPEAKER_02: 22:26

No, that's Shakespeare.

SPEAKER_00: 22:29

That is correct. And all of our yesterdays have lighted fools the way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle.

SPEAKER_02: 22:36

That's Shakespeare. That is correct. You're so good

SPEAKER_00: 22:38

at this.

SPEAKER_02: 22:38

I was a theater major. Yes, yes. I have been to the Globe and to Stratford-upon-Avon.

SPEAKER_00: 22:44

Ready? Next one. Deep within lies the endocervical realm, a narrow corridor wherein we search for signs of discord and distress.

SPEAKER_02: 22:54

Well, God, I really want that to be like the prologue to Macbeth, but that is Papasmear.

SPEAKER_00: 22:59

Thy body, like a stage, performs many scenes. All the world's a stage.

SPEAKER_02: 23:06

And the men and women only players. That's Shakespeare. What would that be medically?

SPEAKER_00: 23:12

It's not. It's not medically. And if it were, what would it be? I can't even define the real things that are medical. Don't ask me to define the fake things that are medical. All right, last one. The great healer Papa Nicolau deviseth a test to look upon thee for hints of mischance.

SPEAKER_02: 23:31

Okay, that's pap smear because that's who ever invented the speculum.

SPEAKER_00: 23:35

Oh, he's a great healer. He diviseth the twin spoons, whereby we openeth the passage. Open the way to paradise. All right, you did very good. You got seven. You got seven out of 10.

SPEAKER_02: 23:50

Okay, well, I have all of the things you were discussing and also was a theater major, so I'm good, thank you.

SPEAKER_00: 23:55

Well, then why are you asking me? You should tell me what the Bethsaida. Bethsaida system.

SPEAKER_02: 23:59

Bethsaida system. I actually don't know what it means.

SPEAKER_00: 24:03

You don't know what it means. Have you

SPEAKER_02: 24:04

seen there's a trend on TikTok where women are giving their husbands speculums and asking them what it's for and most of the men don't know and they put it in their mouths to try to like hold their mouth open because of like dental surgery and stuff.

SPEAKER_00: 24:17

I would just assume that it poorly made salad tongs.

SPEAKER_02: 24:20

Yes, right. Excellent. Good. Or ducks.

SPEAKER_00: 24:23

Or like a super efficient watermelon scoop. Well, no, you just spin it and watermelon balls would fly right out. Just

SPEAKER_02: 24:33

flying right out.

SPEAKER_00: 24:35

And now it's time for Refined Gay Thoughts with Refined Gay Jeff. Jeff! All right, Jeff says this. He says, hola, no, hola, Wilson. What's

SPEAKER_02: 24:51

wrong with

SPEAKER_00: 24:52

you?

SPEAKER_02: 24:52

Okay, hola, Jeff.

SPEAKER_00: 24:55

He says, I wish for you clarity this week. God knows we all need some right now.

SPEAKER_02: 24:58

That's right, friend.

SPEAKER_00: 25:00

He says, Amanda, I am so sorry that Dwayne, your rock, is sticking around and will not decide to pass to more inviting vacation areas. And your rock is still with us, right?

SPEAKER_02: 25:10

Yeah, I mean, like for two days, I was like, oh, I feel much better. Maybe I pass it. I didn't know. And then today I have this blast burning and tearing feeling toward moving toward my bladder. So I'm hoping things are like Dwayne has decided to maybe get his passport and move on out.

SPEAKER_00: 25:27

Or moving on up, who knows?

SPEAKER_02: 25:29

Oh no, no ups, down.

SPEAKER_00: 25:31

He does ask, does alcohol help to deal with the pain?

SPEAKER_02: 25:35

No, I wish that it did. The pain pills make me feel weird, but I am trying now. I'm having some wine and let's see if that helps.

SPEAKER_00: 25:44

Well, is it? Not yet. Okay, very good. He says, I feel that alcohol would help me at least to abide it better. I think you should adopt Tyrion Lannister's viewpoint from Game of Thrones. And I'm changing this up a little bit by saying, I drink wine and I pass things. See, Jeff, unfortunately, no one in this house is educated in Game of Thrones.

SPEAKER_02: 26:05

I drink wine and I know things.

SPEAKER_00: 26:07

Oh, is that a thing? That's the quote. But what does that mean?

SPEAKER_02: 26:10

That's just the quote that I know because I've seen it on socials, but I do know things. Apparently, see the above quiz, but I don't pass things yet.

SPEAKER_00: 26:21

No, not quite yet. So we did talk about my idea for car washes, and Jeff says that he's confused about how car washes work in Florida. He's surprised that ours don't have tracks. He says every car wash that he's ever been in requires the car to be in neutral, and it's pushed along on some sort of track. Oh. Never heard of that. heard of that before and I've been going to car washes for a great deal of my life his parents favorite car wash back home is filled with all kinds of flashing colorful lights they call it the disco car wash if you don't have these I'm concerned that the next national headline when you get them will read Florida man goes berserk in the tracks of the local disco car wash listen Florida man does not need an excuse

SPEAKER_02: 27:01

we do have the flashing lights and we've had the flashing lights and we've had the rainbow soap but we've never I've never seen the tracks and I'm gonna be old soon

SPEAKER_00: 27:09

he suggests just for one of our ideas to call it Pirates of the Caribbean.

SPEAKER_02: 27:16

Oh, yes, I like it.

SPEAKER_00: 27:18

We talked about how our little child Winthrop is very opinionated about music. Yes, he doesn't like the lyrics. No, he doesn't like the vocals. He

SPEAKER_02: 27:27

doesn't like the vocals, excuse me.

SPEAKER_00: 27:29

He says, little Winthrop was totally channeling Quincy Jones at his passing this week with the not caring for the vocals comment. Just promise you will correct him if he ever goes all Randy Jackson and says that it's too pitchy.

SPEAKER_02: 27:40

He might. I wouldn't put it past him. And that's right. Quincy Jones did pass. I thought about Rashida last week and hoped that she was finding peace and comfort in that. Weirdly, that's a thing I thought about. But yeah, no, he doesn't. So you were saying you drove him to school this morning. He was very into classical music.

SPEAKER_00: 28:00

Yeah, he was asking questions about it and he was into it. He was in a surprisingly good mood this morning and I will take that with no questions asked. Jeff continues, promise me you will correct him if he ever goes all Randy Jackson and says it's too pitchy. My eyes always spontaneously rolled whenever he used to say that. No shit, Randy, a series of tones are called pitches. It's pitchy in its very nature. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 28:27

I like when Jeff gets grumpy and curses.

SPEAKER_00: 28:32

He continues, personally, I don't think you're alienated listeners by recommending British shows. If I ever decide to add cable back, I would totally have BritBox or maybe that's available as an app. I think it is. It is. We have it. We don't

SPEAKER_02: 28:45

have a subscription to it because we don't need it, but there is a BritBox app that you can get on your smart TV and you can get a subscription to it.

SPEAKER_00: 28:53

I'm still not excited about paying for it though. His favorite British shows keeping up appearances, probably his all-time favorite show. I've never heard of it. Absolutely fabulous which I have heard of QI which is the one that we watched with Stephen Fry Stephen Fry and then also Sandy

SPEAKER_02: 29:12

Sandy from the baking

SPEAKER_00: 29:13

yes yes

SPEAKER_02: 29:14

I like Stephen Fry better than Sandy

SPEAKER_00: 29:16

right yeah and he doesn't do it anymore and then Michael McIntyre's big show now he wants to talk about Dan's quiz Dan's quiz was and he just put insert adjective here do not give me that kind of power Jeff and He comments that he too refuses to listen to the speech of that former and future president. And he says he looks like he's gonna have to resurrect the practice of not listening very soon. He says, I have listened to him spew his word salad at times though. The man can't find two brain cells to rub together to charge some neurons so that he can formulate a complete and understanding sentence. But anyway. Back to the quiz.

SPEAKER_02: 29:59

Yes,

SPEAKER_00: 30:00

the quiz. I did not do very well on Dan's quiz. I got the majority of them wrong, but surprisingly, I somehow got The Smells Like Teen Spirit immediately.

SPEAKER_02: 30:08

Right, which none of us did. So Jeff, what I'm understanding is that together we make a very good team.

SPEAKER_00: 30:14

Yes, because he would get the one that you didn't get.

SPEAKER_02: 30:17

Yes. No, that was yours and you also didn't get it.

SPEAKER_00: 30:20

Yeah, I knew the answer. I knew all the answers. You did not. No, he gave me the answers beforehand. No, he did

SPEAKER_02: 30:26

not.

SPEAKER_00: 30:27

Yeah, it's okay though.

SPEAKER_02: 30:27

Is that when you went to see Paddington 2 with him?

SPEAKER_00: 30:29

That's right, 3.

SPEAKER_02: 30:31

No, 3 with Gavin, 2 with you.

SPEAKER_00: 30:32

Also a bit of trivia about Killing Me Softly. It was first done flawlessly by Roberta Flack. Yes. Very good version. And Roberta Flack's hometown is Black Mountain, North Carolina.

SPEAKER_02: 30:43

Did not know that.

SPEAKER_00: 30:45

Another bit of trivia that only applies to me is that a friend of mine back home in South Carolina is a jazz pianist, and Roberta had him play the piano at one of her Christmas parties in her home in New York City years ago.

SPEAKER_02: 30:58

That's super cool.

SPEAKER_00: 30:59

It is. He talks about... I don't really want to get into the election, but he does talk about it briefly. He says, I'm reserving comments about the election for later. Good. I don't know that... that I don't know that we'll ever talk about

SPEAKER_02: 31:17

it here.

SPEAKER_00: 31:18

But here's the thing. I think that, and maybe the listeners can let us know, I think that both for our sanity and for the preservation of this show, we really just shouldn't dip into politics.

SPEAKER_02: 31:33

I think that we will be a place of light and humor and connection and community in a world that greatly needs it.

SPEAKER_00: 31:41

Now, if we can subversively slip things in there, I'm all for that. Things I try to do all the time. So anyway, we're still gonna be going on this podcast through the new year. I might go back and delete a couple episodes. Yeah, there

SPEAKER_02: 31:59

might be some things we need to take out of the

SPEAKER_00: 32:00

catalog. But we will persevere. And it's interesting because I did... I have been avoiding the news and a lot of social media, but I've been checking in on a lot of our friends.

SPEAKER_02: 32:14

Well, and our Brits all checked in on us, which was very kind.

SPEAKER_00: 32:17

Yeah, that was nice. We

SPEAKER_02: 32:18

have a place to go. I would just like to point out that Mark from 100 Things We Learned From Film has opened his home to us. I do not believe the Belsons have opened their home to us.

SPEAKER_00: 32:28

I think we're all right. I think that's fine. Yeah, and I can't live with a cat. They have a cat. They do.

SPEAKER_02: 32:37

They have two cats.

SPEAKER_00: 32:38

Mark. Mark and Rachel have a cat. So couldn't do that. But very kind offer. Very kind offer that they made that they know that we won't take them up on. We also got a shout out from our buddy in Scotland, John Watson.

SPEAKER_02: 32:51

What did John Watson say to us?

SPEAKER_00: 32:53

I couldn't fucking understand him.

UNKNOWN: 32:55

Don't worry about it.

SPEAKER_02: 32:56

Thanks, John. We think.

SPEAKER_00: 32:59

Anyway, I digress. We have been checking in on friends and not paying that much attention to the news because what's the point?

SPEAKER_02: 33:06

I had to take the New York Times off of my phone, but I kept New York Times cooking and that's all I'm going to focus on.

SPEAKER_00: 33:11

There you go. He says that he needs time. Also, it's been a difficult week. Three people from different parts of my life passed away this week and it's been hard.

SPEAKER_02: 33:21

Jeff had a really rough week. I'm sorry,

SPEAKER_00: 33:23

Jeff. Yes, it has put him in a very contemplative mood. One positive thing I'm looking forward to though is this Sunday I am singing my most favorite choral work ever, the Rutter Requiem. Have you heard of the Rutter Requiem? Well,

SPEAKER_02: 33:35

only because Jeff posted about it on his socials and it was lovely.

SPEAKER_00: 33:40

My church choir is performing it Sunday and I am so looking forward to it. This piece is beautiful and moving and I need it now. So he signs off by saying that it's time for some ripcord action, which is his local gay bar. I need to go play... go play vodka for a couple of hours?

SPEAKER_02: 33:58

Go play vodka? I didn't know you could play vodka.

SPEAKER_00: 34:02

I've never heard that expression before, but I am using it. Yeah, but you

SPEAKER_02: 34:06

don't play vodka because you played vodka too hard one time and you can't play vodka anymore.

SPEAKER_00: 34:10

Oh my God, yeah, no. I got so violently ill that I vomited sideways. I

SPEAKER_02: 34:20

don't think that that is physically possible.

SPEAKER_00: 34:23

I didn't think so either. But no, that most definitely happened with the force of many fire hoses, so.

SPEAKER_02: 34:31

Well, that's like me in port. I can't have port.

SPEAKER_00: 34:35

Right before we started recording, I went down and poured myself some gin, and I realized, now I finished the bottle. We're out of

SPEAKER_02: 34:40

gin, I noticed that.

SPEAKER_00: 34:41

But I realized that that's beef eater gin, and can I not drink that anymore? Oh, you

SPEAKER_02: 34:45

can't because you don't eat meat. You don't eat red meat. I

SPEAKER_00: 34:49

don't eat meat anymore, so do I have to? No,

SPEAKER_02: 34:51

I have to have that gin then.

SPEAKER_00: 34:52

Is there any vegan gin around? Gin is vegan. Apparently not.

SPEAKER_02: 34:58

No, beefeater is a British phrase. Isn't that what they call the people with the hats? The guards?

SPEAKER_00: 35:04

Beefeaters, I don't know why you're moving your arms. This is what they

SPEAKER_02: 35:07

look like when they stand in front of Buckingham Palace, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00: 35:10

You know, it's always funny to me. I'm not here to make fun of people's military, but when they march and they put their, it does look rather ridiculous. Have you seen the video? I think it's at the border of India and Pakistan. They have like the changing of the guard. Have you seen this? And it's like a contest to see who can look more flamboyant and ridiculous. I mean, honestly, it looks like, I guess if they weren't, you know, bitter rivals or whatever, it would look like a drag show.

SPEAKER_02: 35:43

I just think that beef eaters remind me of the toy soldiers from, you know, the Nutcracker. Like that's what they're supposed to be, right?

SPEAKER_00: 35:49

Wait, which came first though?

SPEAKER_02: 35:51

Right.

SPEAKER_00: 35:52

All right, so I found video. This is the changing of the guard at the India-Pakistan border.

SPEAKER_02: 35:58

Okay, so they have fancy hats and they're... Oh, that one's kicking and high-stepping. Are these like bitter rivals? They're very close to one another. Oh no, that one is lip-syncing for her life.

SPEAKER_00: 36:17

So you absolutely have to look up Changing of the Guard, India and Pakistan. It is... It looks like some weird Dr. Seussian thing.

SPEAKER_02: 36:27

No, it's most definitely like how peacocks and turkeys and birds of whatever with their plumage.

SPEAKER_00: 36:33

That's ridiculous. Now, I would say if this is how the world could solve their problems instead of lobbing fucking nuclear bombs at each other, I'd certainly appreciate that. And have RuPaul at the side judging and then sending one country off. Sashay away, India, or whatever.

SPEAKER_01: 36:49

No one likes to be told what to do.

SPEAKER_00: 36:51

And now is the time in the program where we tell you what to do. Amanda, what should we do?

SPEAKER_02: 36:55

Okay, so if you are a wine drinker, I'm going to recommend a white varietal that I had not heard of until last week. We went out to a local wine bar here, if you're in our area, Beaker and Flask out in Alachua, owned by a friend of ours, but also exceptional service, really great. I... I historically have been a red wine drinker, but somehow in my late 40s, I can't drink it anymore. White wine is what I've been drinking, and I've been drinking a Sauvignon Blanc. However, she introduced me to Chenin Blanc, C-H-E-N-I-N, and it was really great. We got a bottle and we shared it. It was really great. And then I bought a bottle tonight at Whole Foods. That's what I'm drinking. So if you're a white wine drinker and you want something a little different, check out a Chenin Blanc.

SPEAKER_00: 37:41

And I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I'm really in the podcast called Here Comes the Guillotine with Frankie Boyle. Have I mentioned that?

SPEAKER_02: 37:48

I don't know. I mean, I know you're aware of it because I hear Frankie Boyle coming out of your headphones all the time.

SPEAKER_00: 37:53

Check that out. It's ridiculous. It's dry. It's bawdy. They get a little blue. Well, they're Scots. Of course they do. It's Scottish. It's enjoyable. So check it out. All right, Amanda, that's all there is. There is no more. What do you think of that mess?

SPEAKER_02: 38:14

I enjoyed it, and we're sitting upstairs, and now the sun is starting to set, and it's quite lovely there.

SPEAKER_00: 38:20

Yeah, and America is in a long two-month process of waiting for the hurricane to hit land.

SPEAKER_02: 38:26

My God!

SPEAKER_00: 38:27

So there's just that. And the only difference between this and a real hurricane is that we know that the damage is going to be bad. So cheers, folks.

SPEAKER_02: 38:36

Well, but the thing is, we have an actual other hurricane possibly coming next week, and it is way past hurricane season, so please send your thoughts

SPEAKER_00: 38:45

to Florida. Hurricane season's over November 31st, I thought. Is

SPEAKER_02: 38:48

it? I thought it was the beginning of November.

SPEAKER_00: 38:49

No, you wish. You hope. Anyway, so folks, until we see you again, make great pains to stay away from hurricanes and dictatorial governments.

SPEAKER_01: 38:59

Bye. Be kind.

UNKNOWN: 0:00

......

SPEAKER_01: 41:10

Upside down, a leaf in the storm The

SPEAKER_00: 41:18

colors like waves, I'm on the shore

SPEAKER_01: 41:26

A symphony of colors unfolding the night With the day's final breath I'll take flight on this echo ground and here I am lost in yesterday's sound

SPEAKER_00: 41:53

my life is in the wind between the buildings it bends it alights on your

SPEAKER_01: 41:59

hand in the end in the end

SPEAKER_00: 42:34

Rush on my canvas wide Your case bird flutters around my mind Whispers come ghost in ears slow and gray With no face, ticky times tired sway Not today, not today

SPEAKER_01: 43:01

I'ma be on this echo ground And here I am lost in yesterday's sound My life is in the wind between the buildings and beds It aligns on your hand in the end, in the end

SPEAKER_00: 43:28

Smoke through the port in my hair A feather on wind floating on my hot air The wisdom of owls in the heart of the woods I'll chase you on wing cause I know that I should And all things work out cause you knew that they would