The Sofa is My Friend

Super Familiar with The Wilsons 
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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Familiar Wilson's Media. Relationships are the story. You are made of meat, my friend, all the way down. The following podcast uses words like and and also

SPEAKER_02 0:14

If

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you're not into any of that shit, then now's your chance. 3, 2, 1, run.

SPEAKER_02 0:23

I'm super familiar with you.

UNKNOWN 0:27

Get it. Get it.

SPEAKER_00 0:30

Welcome to Super Familiar with the Wilsons. I'm Amanda.

SPEAKER_01 0:32

And I'm Josh. Today is, well, we're recording on a Sunday and it is two days after Valentine's Day. Amanda, what's your take on Valentine's Day?

SPEAKER_00 0:41

Eh, I mean, I was never a big fan of it growing up because, you know, when you don't, when you're like in high school and everybody's getting flowers and balloons sent to school and you don't have a boyfriend and you, not that I didn't date in high school. I did. I just apparently never had them during Valentine's Day. And, um.

SPEAKER_01 0:58

That's a weird flex. I'm going to be free during this day no

SPEAKER_00 1:01

it wasn't on purpose believe me and so my friends and I would send stuff like we'd send balloons and flowers to each other from anonymous oh

SPEAKER_01 1:12

my god oh my god that is so sad

SPEAKER_00 1:16

I know but we all knew we all knew we were doing it we just wanted the people around us to be like oh they're getting things from secret admirers

SPEAKER_01 1:23

see now that's like the modern day version of that is so much more empowering because they'll have these galentine day things which is like We know and we don't care if we're not getting this

SPEAKER_00 1:33

or that. And we're celebrating our friends and the love we have for our friends is more important. And yes, no, because the 18-year-old went and had Galentines on Friday night with her friends and I love that they do this, right? So empowering. Instead, 30 years ago when I was in high school, we had to pretend it was from secret admirers.

SPEAKER_01 1:51

Well, we didn't celebrate Valentine's Day on Valentine's Day because we're parents and we can't just do stuff when we want to do it. I mean, that's Just the life that we live. And part of it is we want to give an update, I guess, to the situation from last week. Just a recap. We did an emergency foster situation with a tiny dog that ended up tearing our lives

SPEAKER_00 2:16

apart. Within 48 hours of this dog being here. The upstairs bathroom flooded the downstairs. Cars were scratched. Shells fell off of walls. Now, I don't think she's directly responsible for any of these, but it all happened. Unless

SPEAKER_01 2:34

she is a demon because she's pulling the shells off of the walls. Yeah, no. I mean, it literally happened where... We had left... I say we, and it wasn't me, and I wouldn't have done this. But the dog was put in a crate during the day when we couldn't be at home, right? Yes. Because that's what you do. Except... That the dog wasn't put in the

SPEAKER_00 2:56

crate. I came home to pick something up and the dog was crying in the crate and had spilled her water and was just sitting in water. So I opened the crate, but I positioned it to where there's a pocket door in the bathroom that she was in where there's the toilet and the tub and then the pocket door and then the sinks and the outer area. So I positioned the crate in the pocket door where she couldn't get out to the outer area, but she could be in the crate with a towel. She could get out to the puppy pad and get out to her water. I thought this was a very good idea.

SPEAKER_01 3:26

Yeah, and so we came home and there was dog particulate all smearing all over the tub.

SPEAKER_00 3:36

Somehow this tiny little eight pound Chihuahua got into the tub.

SPEAKER_01 3:39

Right.

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She can't get up on furniture, but she clawed her way into the bathtub and got stuck. Which you

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don't, like spiders can't make their way out of tubs. I don't know how this dog that doesn't have little grippy pads on its hands and feet got up in there, but it left a big old mess. So I came home, I went to clean it up, leaving out all the details because what's the point? And we have an insurance claim out about it anyway. I'm walking downstairs after having cleaned it up, and I notice water dripping from one of the light fixtures. That is right below the bathroom, and I'm like, what the actual hell is going on?

SPEAKER_00 4:19

You yell, turn the water off. I'm like, there's no water running up here. I was like, I don't, there's nothing happening up here.

SPEAKER_01 4:25

So mix into that, like it was the same day, right, that the 18-year-old hit a car? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:31

Scratched our car on a concrete

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pole. And I just couldn't, and then did the shelf fall off?

SPEAKER_00 4:38

The shelf just fell off on its own. The same night? Same night, like 30 minutes later, of its own volition. I went into the laundry room and the shelf just yanked out of the wall. Now, I had put too, like the laundry detergent was buy one get one free, so I had put too much weight on the shelf. But, Those had been there for about two weeks. So it just decided that was the night.

SPEAKER_01 4:57

That had the dog in the middle of the night appeared in front of us floating in the air with black smoke around, red eyes, head spinning all the way 360, saying to us, your soul is now mine. I would not have been... That would have been the least surprising thing about that day. And

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it was Monday. So this

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damn dog is now out of our lives. And... happier about it I could not be

SPEAKER_00 5:24

but she we wound up falling a little bit for her so sweet so tiny I stayed home with her most of the week because one I was waiting on the insurance people to come which they still haven't and but it was like having a newborn I mean you could not leave her alone and I told Josh on Thursday I have to go get a shower because I think I've been in these pants for three days they were like flannel pajama I think I've been in these pants for three days it was that foggy newborn I haven't taken care of my You know, as soon as the 18-year-old got home from school and work, then she took over. But our poor existing podcast pup had to stay upstairs in just our room and didn't have the reign of the house. And so it was a lot, but she was very cute, very sweet. I feel sad for her. She came in off the street. She has three teeth. She has a rotting. Does not appear to have been taken care of well. But I have a colleague who's been looking to foster to adopt who had Chihuahua growing up. No other dogs in the home. And so we did a foster takeover yesterday. They're fostering to adopt her. And she seems like the perfect fit for their family. So we're grateful. And of course,

SPEAKER_01 6:34

that's going to be the latest on Fox Reality. Foster takeover. Yes. It just goes to underscore what I've always said, that the worst things come in small packages. You know, splitting of an atom can blow up Hiroshima, right? Licorice gumdrops, awful. Babies, terrible. I'm telling you, the worst things come in small

SPEAKER_00 6:53

packages. You loved your babies.

SPEAKER_01 6:55

Well, only because they... Yeah, related to me and I had to, it was the law.

SPEAKER_00 6:59

You're so grumpy. She was sweet and lovely. None of these things were her fault, but she just happened to bring about something, something was in retrograde somewhere.

SPEAKER_01 7:10

So as a result of, by the way, there's always something in retrograde anymore. What the hell is going on with these planets right now? Whenever I hear something bad happens, oh, like Jupiter has passed Uranus or whatever. So I don't know if it's the planets and the stars that are screwing us up, but I am not happy. Or

SPEAKER_00 7:28

they've heard about what's going on here and they're just like trying to run away. I don't know. That's what it is. All I know is Monday felt like the longest month of my life. Like that was just a really long Monday.

SPEAKER_02 7:46

All right,

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so let's move on to our Saturday soccer. Awoo! Awoo! The standout performer of the match was Gunter, who delivered a defensive masterclass while contributing two stunning long-range goals. His booming strikes from deep in his own half left the Jaguars goalkeeper with little chance, particularly since this league plays without

SPEAKER_00 8:46

goalkeepers. Yeah, we found that out yesterday.

SPEAKER_01 8:49

Didn't know that. Proving that sometimes the best offense starts from the back. Meanwhile, Winthrop Wilson continued to be the engine of the team, constantly involved in the play and and capping off his relentless performance with a well-earned goal.

SPEAKER_00 9:04

He got the winning goal.

SPEAKER_01 9:05

In a bittersweet moment for the squad, it was announced post-match that Brianna had officially retired after a decorated four-game career with the Wolves, opting to trade the pitch for the dance floor. Her contributions will not be forgotten. Also, adding an unexpected twist to the day's events, a vocal fan who had been offering sideline feedback all season found themselves Yep. Yeah, so this one was really exciting

SPEAKER_00 9:50

because this was the team that they just got trounced by like week three or something. And so Winthrop's response was, we beat the best team in the world. So that means we're the best team.

SPEAKER_01 10:02

At this point in the season. But what does he do with the fact that he had lost to the best team before?

SPEAKER_00 10:06

He had nothing. And last night we were talking about Gunter. So Gunter had a penalty kick. So we didn't realize... on us that, because I was complaining about how the coach wasn't playing a goalkeeper. Well, apparently this league doesn't officially have goalkeepers. Like you can run down there and protect your goal, but you can't, you cannot do any like catches with your hands, like a, like a goal. So

SPEAKER_01 10:30

basically it's like a defender is standing near the goal. That's that.

SPEAKER_00 10:34

And, and Gunter is, like a goalie, right? Like, protected the goal but used his hands, so then Simon got a penalty kick just straight, like, straight in. Then... no, Winthrop was kicking and one of the other teams just fell on the ball to stop it from going into the goal. A Jaguar just fell on the ball. So there was a penalty kick, should have been Winthrop's, went to Gunter, Gunter missed, Gunter was really, really upset, right? They still won because Winthrop scored the winning goal. But last night I was talking to Winthrop about this and we were talking about the game and I said, you know, Gunter was really upset that he missed that, that, um, And Winthrop said, yeah, but it doesn't matter because we still won and we all had fun. And that's really the important part. So he seems to still have a very good mindset about this.

SPEAKER_01 11:28

Yeah, surprised me. Like he's anxious about everything else in his life except for when he's on the pitch. Maybe like soccer is really his thing that he will get into flow about and like it'll be his place. Yeah. All right, so we just stopped recording and Amanda, what happened?

SPEAKER_00 11:50

There was grumping outside of the door. Turns out we had an interloper or an eavesdropper and Winthrop was listening and was unpleased about all the things we said about soccer being his thing. Well, I know, I was joking. He's displeased. All the things we said about soccer being his thing. Soccer is not his thing. He doesn't like soccer. He only does it because we told the coach to sign him up and he doesn't have fun while he's doing it. So how could I have fun doing something that I didn't want to do? Those were all the things that were just very sternly expressed to me whilst I was giving him my leftovers from local provision for breakfast.

SPEAKER_01 12:33

Parents out there, write in to us, familiarwilsons at gmail.com if you have a child who just blatantly lies just to be a contrarian.

SPEAKER_00 12:43

Yes, because he does have a very good time whilst he is doing it.

SPEAKER_01 12:46

We will make a podcast episode out of just little tiny dictatorial contrarians that live in all of these

SPEAKER_00 12:54

houses. I know.

SPEAKER_01 12:55

so i don't usually do this i don't usually let the audience know that the travails that we go through just to record a podcast episode like how many times i have to pause and you know deal with some sort of thing that has happened so first it was winthrop and now it's it's the dog and he had brought like a little a little chewy toy that was crinkly. And it's probably my problem, right? Where I can't deal with noises.

SPEAKER_00 13:30

You're only telling the story so you get to gloat. This is why I'm rolling my eyes at you. This is the only reason why you're telling the people. You don't usually tell them, but you're telling them now because you know that you were right. Go ahead.

SPEAKER_01 13:42

The dog had this crinkly toy. And so I said, Amanda, please take the toy from the dog. She said, no, I'm gonna take the dog into Muffy's room and the dog will stay there. I said, Amanda, you know full well the dog will not stay in Muffy's room. He will end up scratching at our door in five minutes. because he will want to come back in because he is pasted to your hip. You said, no, let me do what I wanna do. This

SPEAKER_00 14:07

will be fine. I said, let me try this. I didn't say, let me do what I wanna do.

SPEAKER_01 14:10

You came and sat down and immediately the dog was at the door to come back in. And I just wanna know why you don't listen to me.

SPEAKER_00 14:20

Because I have hope. And I have the power of yet. I have a growth mindset. The

SPEAKER_01 14:29

power of yet? I've never heard of the power of yet. Are you sure you don't mean the power of Yeti,

SPEAKER_00 14:33

like Bigfoot? No, no, no, no, no. Growth mindset. When I was teaching, we would talk to the kids about the power of yet. If they would say, I can't do that, and we would change it, I can't do that yet. So it's the power of having a growth mindset about skills. And I have a growth mindset that the dog can eventually just do what I want him to do. He's awesome. Almost 10, but I'm still hanging on.

SPEAKER_01 14:56

So I have what's known as hopeful realism.

SPEAKER_00 15:00

Okay, fine.

SPEAKER_01 15:01

And because we've never trained a dog to do what you're saying, because you're just hoping that on the fly it's just going to magically happen, this is where my realism, the realism part comes into it.

SPEAKER_00 15:16

All right, fine. Move along.

SPEAKER_01 15:19

Well... Let's button up the topic we were talking about, which is soccer, and I am still of the mind that the little lad enjoys it when he's there, and that we should sign him up for the next session. This is what I want to do.

SPEAKER_00 15:34

All right, but you break it to him because I just got yelled at about it.

SPEAKER_01 15:37

I think we just, like, we dress him in his kit one morning and take him and then he's like, well, why am I here? He's like, oh, got a game. And then he'll be there. The whole thing with him and with all of my children so far has been just getting them there. It's like changing, course correcting them because they're all about inertia. You know, whatever speed and direction they're going, they want to keep going that direction. But once we get him there he enjoys it and that's what I think we should do we should just he should just turn up at the at the soccer games like okay well here we are he's like oh okay and he goes and he plays

SPEAKER_00 16:11

you but what kind of sweet hell is it gonna be to get him to dress in the kit in the morning so he's gonna be like why are you doing this to me

SPEAKER_01 16:19

just tell him that it's Quidditch gear and it's Harry Potter theme and he will be all for

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it that is true

SPEAKER_01 16:25

Amanda you were a teacher for many years yes

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yeah pre-k K and first grade

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all right so check out this news story. Kindergarten teacher finds unexpected item in student's pocket.

SPEAKER_00 16:36

Okay.

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Have you ever found unexpected items in student's

SPEAKER_00 16:40

pockets? Not in pockets, but yes, in other places.

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Crystal Starnes shared a humorous incident where her five-year-old son's kindergarten teacher discovered a condom in her son's pocket.

SPEAKER_00 16:53

Would not even surprise me.

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The teacher found the item when the boy asked about it during recess.

SPEAKER_00 16:59

Like, what is this?

SPEAKER_01 17:00

What's this, teacher? Oh, it's a water balloon, kid. But don't open it. Why has it got stuff? Ew, gross. It's got stuff on it, teacher. Why does it go in the dark? Yeah. Why is it ribbed for my

SPEAKER_00 17:13

pleasure? Why does it taste like strawberries when I lick it?

SPEAKER_01 17:19

Upon investigation, she realized the jeans were a recent purchase from a store. The story, like a... I guess from a thrift store or something. The story went viral on TikTok, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. All right, so this doesn't surprise you.

SPEAKER_00 17:35

No, I've not found condoms in children's pockets. But when I was teaching pre-K, on Fridays, we would send them nap mat stuff home. So like the mat cover, the blanket, the pillow, and the parents would wash it over the weekend and bring it back.

SPEAKER_01 17:49

Okay, you said nap mat stuff. Okay, I didn't hear that. All right, go ahead. So you'd send the stuff from the mat that they took a nap on. Go

SPEAKER_00 17:56

ahead. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the parents would wash it over the weekend and bring it back. And so the kids would come in on Monday morning. Parents would put all the stuff in their cubbies, the new mat stuff, take it out. And my co-teacher and I were taking them all out, I think when the kids weren't music or something, and putting them on the mats and putting them away. And amongst all of the things, we found a very sexy black lacy thong.

SPEAKER_01 18:18

Oh, very good.

SPEAKER_00 18:20

So static cling, I guess. I don't know. But we would pin lost items up to our bulletin board by the sign-in sheet. We would say, is this sock yours? Is this mitten yours? You did not. We didn't. We were like, we cannot pin the black lacy thong up. We knew who we thought it was just based on profiling parents.

SPEAKER_01 18:41

Oh, were you right, though?

SPEAKER_00 18:42

They never asked, and we never said, is this yours? It didn't have

SPEAKER_01 18:47

initials on it? Oh, you threw it

SPEAKER_00 18:48

away. No. And then also, I came across- What parents'

SPEAKER_01 18:52

initials are XL?

SPEAKER_00 18:54

Right? I came across a child in the bathroom. Weirdly, where I was teaching, when I was teaching preschool, there was a- bathroom that connected the office to the classroom so you'd have to walk through the bathroom to get to the office if you were going from inside the school that's

SPEAKER_02 19:11

weird

SPEAKER_00 19:11

you could get to the office from outside but right it was because because the school was an old house it was a converted house okay got it and i was walking i was in the office and i could hear somebody in the bathroom and they were making what we would call maybe pleasuring sounds

SPEAKER_02 19:26

no

SPEAKER_00 19:27

yeah yeah no no no Totally was just sitting there pooping. Was not like whatever.

SPEAKER_01 19:32

An adult?

SPEAKER_00 19:33

No, it was a child.

SPEAKER_01 19:34

Oh,

SPEAKER_00 19:34

okay. We can't talk about this. But like mimicking the sounds and then mom turned up pregnant. Like meaning he had heard these sounds in the home. All right, cut that all out then.

SPEAKER_01 19:45

No, I'm not going to cut it out. We'll just leave it there.

SPEAKER_00 19:47

So what I'm saying is nothing surprises me. I would tell parents all the time, what you think is sacred and stays in your home does not. It will come to school in some shape or form. So just know that we know a lot more about your life than you think we do.

SPEAKER_01 20:03

What is the most surprising thing? I won't say horrifying because we don't want to say those, but like the thing that a kid told you about the home life. Let's not make it be tragic either. Just like some weird, funny thing that you've heard.

SPEAKER_00 20:18

I can't think, I mean, gosh, it was, you know, I did this for 20 years. I can't think of something from the home, but I did have this happen to me once. I had a mom approach me at like parent night and say, she said her child's name and she said, he really wants you to stop clipping his fingernails. And I looked at her, I said, I've never, never clipped his fingernails and she said well he says that you're clipping his nails and i said i can assure you in all of my years of teaching i've never clipped anybody's nails and he was hiding behind her legs and i leaned over and looked and said are you biting your nails and he said so he was getting in trouble at home for biting his nails and he told his mom that i was clipping his fingernails at school i mean and he was like five but he was yeah he blaming the teacher already for something that he was getting in trouble for at home. And she just looked at him and she said, is that true? And he nodded his head and she said, I'm so sorry. I'm like, why would I be clipping your child's fingernails? It's not a thing I would do. You

SPEAKER_01 21:14

know, my first go-to upon hearing something like that from my child would be, really?

SPEAKER_02 21:20

Right.

SPEAKER_01 21:22

But I guess there are some Karens who... So I wonder if that taught that mom a lesson, though. I wonder if from then on, she would cast an eye towards anything and not automatically believe it. I hope. Or just always asking for the manager.

SPEAKER_02 21:36

Wilson's come out to play. Wilson's come out to play. Wilson's come out to play.

SPEAKER_00 22:02

So that music means it's game time. Josh, we're going to do another flashback. So the conceit of this is that Josh has to put events from history in chronological order on a timeline. Now, I think this might be a little bit President's Day themed as we're coming up on President's Day on Monday. So your very first item is the Lincoln penny is the first U.S. coin with a president. Older coins just featured a lot of eagles.

SPEAKER_01 22:31

Tell you when I think the Lincoln penny penny was first minted. God, I have no idea. I just thought we always had it as a country. It's

SPEAKER_00 22:38

just like from the time we signed the Declaration of Independence.

SPEAKER_01 22:42

Yes. It's like, okay, we get our freedoms and we have this... Penny that's got this guy we don't recognize, but he'll be president soon. Let's say that it was like 1920. Maybe it was later, 1920. 1909.

SPEAKER_00 22:56

So close.

SPEAKER_01 22:56

Okay, so 1909.

SPEAKER_00 22:58

So that counts as your anchoring one. You don't actually get a point for that. During his golden age, an Italian craftsman reshapes the violin to create a larger, richer sound. Each instrument is known as a?

SPEAKER_01 23:10

Viola.

SPEAKER_00 23:10

Stradivarius.

SPEAKER_01 23:12

Oh, oh, wait a second. Okay, so Stradivarius, he just created a different kind of violin. It's

SPEAKER_00 23:19

the larger, richer, yeah, like he reshaped it to make the sound.

SPEAKER_01 23:23

So let's say 1300s, 1300. Okay, so

SPEAKER_00 23:25

definitely before the Lincoln penny.

SPEAKER_01 23:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:29

Okay. 1700. So while you weren't close there, you still get the point because you got it correct on the timeline.

SPEAKER_01 23:37

All right, go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 23:38

All right. Ing, I guess is how we say this person's name, Laman, notices seismic waves bend near the center of the Earth. She posits the planet has an inner core, confirmed a few decades later by computers. Hint, hint, this should help you, by computers, a few decades later.

SPEAKER_01 23:56

All right, so we're gonna say that that happened in 1945. All right,

SPEAKER_00 24:02

so after the Lincoln penny, 1936. Close, all right, ready for more?

SPEAKER_01 24:09

Yeah, go

SPEAKER_00 24:10

ahead. A chemist, Spencer Silver, tries to make a powerful adhesive but ends up with one that simply peels away. It's used to create...

SPEAKER_01 24:19

Elmer's glue.

SPEAKER_00 24:21

Post-it notes.

SPEAKER_01 24:22

Oh, okay, wow. Post-it notes, like I became aware of those, when did I? Like 1990s? So we're gonna say 1989.

SPEAKER_00 24:36

All right, so after... 1936. 1968. So you're still doing well on your timeline.

SPEAKER_01 24:44

Are post-it notes that old?

SPEAKER_00 24:46

Apparently.

SPEAKER_01 24:46

Dang.

SPEAKER_00 24:48

Soviets try to cover up a nuclear meltdown at Chernobyl. But hundreds of miles away, Sweden discovers something odd. Their rain is now radioactive.

SPEAKER_01 24:58

Yes, that's odd. I remember Chernobyl. It was in the late 80s. So we're going to say 1987, right?

SPEAKER_00 25:07

1986. Oh,

SPEAKER_01 25:08

right. Do

SPEAKER_00 25:09

I get extra points? No. All right. Can

SPEAKER_01 25:12

we stop and talk about how horrifying this Chernobyl thing was? I

SPEAKER_00 25:18

was 11, so I wasn't super tuned into it.

SPEAKER_01 25:20

I did this deep dive at one point into nuclear accidents and looking up pictures of the core when it melts down. which is rather unspectacular looking, but then seen under different types of light, like UV light or radiation detectors, it is just horrifying to realize the destructive power that lurks where we can't see it. Yeah, no. So don't ever look up nuclear core meltdowns because it's rather terrifying. And then like towns that were around Chernobyl that were evacuated. And so the towns stand as they were. Like people just left what they were doing.

SPEAKER_00 26:07

Yeah, no, that's really, yeah, that's kind of really creepy. It's like the haunted, or not haunted, but like the abandoned amusement park nearby. Yeah, yeah, yeah,

SPEAKER_01 26:15

so interesting. So yeah, there you go.

SPEAKER_00 26:18

All right, the Treaty of Paris, which ends the American Revolution, has a cartographic error. It becomes the northern bump or northwest angle in Minnesota. So if you've ever looked at Minnesota on a map, it's got a really severe kind of out, like it jets out and then curves way in.

SPEAKER_01 26:37

Okay, so I should know when the... When this happened, I don't. I mean, I've watched Hamilton several times, still don't know. So we're gonna say late... I'm showing my ignorance here, big time. And the failure of the American educational system. We're gonna put it after the violin, before the penny.

SPEAKER_00 27:04

That is correct, 1783. You were going to say late 1700s.

SPEAKER_01 27:08

I was going to say 1790, and I don't know why I wussed out there. Okay, go ahead.

SPEAKER_00 27:13

All right, three more. Two more. The South allows segregated buses defying the Supreme Court. Way to go, South. It takes hundreds of freedom riders to get the U.S. to enforce its laws.

SPEAKER_01 27:27

Okay, so that would be after the Post-it note. It's real close to the Post-it

SPEAKER_00 27:33

note. I can't decide if I think it's before or after.

SPEAKER_01 27:35

Oh, Freedom Riders, Freedom. Okay, we're gonna say right before the Post-it note then, before 1968.

SPEAKER_00 27:42

Correct, 1961. Ooh,

SPEAKER_01 27:44

bam.

SPEAKER_00 27:46

All right, now two more, I was wrong. Okay, the Dutch navigator Abel Tasman is the first European to spot New Zealand. Facing Maori warriors, he quickly flees.

SPEAKER_01 27:58

Oh gosh, no idea, but that's interesting. So when was New Zealand discovered by the rest of the world? That is amazing to

SPEAKER_00 28:06

think about. Did they do the, what's it called?

SPEAKER_01 28:08

The haka,

SPEAKER_00 28:08

probably. The haka at him. You ever seen hakas done? Super interesting. Like I've seen it like at sporting events and things. And then I think I showed you recently there was an Instagram reel. It was a dad teaching at, I mean like maybe like 13, 14 month old. I mean the child was standing up, but they were doing the haka and it was really cool.

SPEAKER_01 28:30

Those of you not familiar, the haka is like a, And I don't want to belittle it by calling it a war dance, but it's a ceremony. It's a thing that the Maori people do. And I'm not even sure of the cultural significance because they do it at weddings. They do it at funerals. They do it when they're meeting people at the airport. They do it to start... rugby games, but I think initially it was something that they would do to intimidate their foes in battle, because they're making all of these expressive faces, they're doing all of these things, and they're chanting... Basically, we're gonna beat the crap out of you, I guess. I

SPEAKER_00 29:13

mean, it worked against Abel Tasman.

SPEAKER_01 29:14

Well, it did, but it's really super interesting, and I find it to be very emotional

SPEAKER_00 29:19

as well. It's very moving. Yeah, I was reading the comments on that reel, and people were saying, you know, this is not my culture, but this moves me. Like, just this tie and really holding on to... the history of their people is really, because that's not a thing that we respect here in this country.

SPEAKER_01 29:38

It's not. We're too young of a country and we're too divided.

SPEAKER_00 29:43

Well, we also stole this country from people that we

SPEAKER_01 29:45

marginalize. We don't really have that sort of, I think that that's why Americans tend to really be into the otherness of what their family line is. So like, I'm Italian, which I'm not, but people are saying like, I'm Italian or I'm German or I'm whatever because like we have a yearning as human beings to feel a part of something greater than ourselves and I think that's where religion comes from and I think that that's where like having really close ties to your culture comes from is this need to be a part of something larger like I don't have that I know that my family comes from Germany right but I mean I have no particular ties to I don't know anything about the culture there or anything like that and I was raised in Miami, and so I was raised around a bunch of different cultures who took pride in their culture, like a bunch of Haitians and people from Central and Latin America, and of course the Cuban population, and they're very proud to be Cuban. And I was kind of like, oh, that's cool. I wish I had that type of thing. So yeah, every time I see the haka, I stop and I watch it. So when does this appear on the timeline? I have no freaking idea. I'm going to say 1600.

SPEAKER_00 30:59

Okay, so before Stradivarius. Yes. 1642. Bam. Good job. You are very close to a clean sweep. Ready?

SPEAKER_01 31:09

Oh, you just screwed it up.

SPEAKER_00 31:10

Why'd you have to do that? On a walk in Norway near a mental asylum, Edvard Munch feels something resembling a panic attack. It leads him to paint...

SPEAKER_01 31:25

The Scream?

SPEAKER_00 31:26

The Scream.

SPEAKER_01 31:29

Dude. No way. Frick, I don't know what era that comes from at all. Do you know?

SPEAKER_00 31:35

No, no idea. Do

SPEAKER_01 31:36

you have any idea?

SPEAKER_00 31:37

No. I mean, I think that I would pick around the 1800s, but I don't know for any reason why I would.

SPEAKER_01 31:44

It's so funny because I don't have a real strong grasp on when things happen, not in my lifetime. So, like, Picasso... I always thought Picasso was way back in the past. No, no, no, no. He's like 1920th century or something like that. I'm going to put this guy, though, like in a more recent time period. Okay, so if we're gonna put it in the 1800s, then we've got a nice space there between the Paris and the Lincoln Penny.

SPEAKER_00 32:15

But I'm not saying I'm right. I'm just saying that's where I would put it.

SPEAKER_01 32:18

All right, so I'm gonna put it at 1865. All right,

SPEAKER_00 32:22

don't be mad at me if it's not. 1893. Bam. All right. You scored all eight events correctly, giving you a perfect score and this week's flashback.

SPEAKER_01 32:35

Well, but you helped me with the last one because there's no way I would have been able to pin that anywhere.

SPEAKER_00 32:39

So it's like they give you like the reason why these things are in this week. So the Maori thing was that New Zealand hopes to attract more remote workers to jumpstart its economy. Let's go. I know, right? A New England conservatory sold its Stradivarius violin for$11 million to help its students. Love that. All right. Well, the rest of it becomes American politics with Minnesota Democrats having to defend their seats. But what I do appreciate about... I'm looking. Oh, there's something. How to safely hang anything on your wall. What's the post-it notes? A Russian drone with high explosives damaged Chernobyl's radiation shield. Cool. That's great. But what I appreciate here is that the scream was how to help someone through a panic attack. So it talks you through that.

SPEAKER_01 33:35

All right. So New York Times does this flashbacks quiz. I recommend you do not do it because then like... We won't be able to. It'll screw it up for our podcast, so don't do that. And now it's time for Wilson's Poetry Corner. Amanda, I wrote a poem a little bit ago about something that's very close to my heart, might feel a little bit pointed and controversial towards you, though.

SPEAKER_00 34:05

Oh, Lord. Ready? Okay, yes.

SPEAKER_01 34:09

Here we go. Springs poking through like metal teeth. Stuffing spilling from underneath. Stains from dinners long forgot. Wine spills marking when times got hot. But this sofa is my friend. The cushions sag with tales to tell of countless nights I knew so well. Watching TV and having fits when the remote control just quits. This sofa is my friend. Why are you not engaged with the microphone? Why are you sitting back rolling your eyes so hard?

SPEAKER_00 34:42

Finish your love story to your damn couch.

SPEAKER_01 34:45

They say just chuck it in the trash. That thing's worse than that ship that the iceberg smashed. But every scratch and every tear holds memories that I hold dear. This sofa is my friend. The fabric's worn down to the thread. The arms are hanging half past dead. The legs are wobbling left and right. But this is where I spent each night. This sofa is my friend. So keep your fancy leather sets, your minimalist design with rosettes. This battered beast has served me well. And if you think it looks like hell, you ain't seen nothing yet. So take your modern furniture, your pristine pieces, clean and pure. This sofa's got character to spare, and though it's beyond repair, my friend is going nowhere.

SPEAKER_00 35:29

What does it say? If I think it looks like hell, I've seen nothing yet, what else is gonna happen? So we have this couch that was Josh's before we got married. Now we've been married 10 years, so this should age this couch for you. And I will grant that it is a very comfortable couch, but it is... all the things that he has said. The frame is broken. The fabric is totally ripped off. I've tried so many different slipcovers that don't work. So now we just cover it in a blanket. And it's not big enough for the number of people that we have. So when the older boys come, one brings his partner, sometimes a friend comes, there is not enough seating. Like people are sitting on bar stools. We need a sectional. We need an L-shaped couch to be able to fit all of the people We want to start hosting dinner parties again like we did pre-COVID in the older house where we had two couches, but that one was like super broken. We need a new couch and you don't want to hear it. And now you've written a love poem to it.

SPEAKER_01 36:32

This sofa is my friend.

SPEAKER_00 36:34

All right. That's all there is. There is no more. No,

SPEAKER_01 36:39

no, no, no, no, no. Wait a second.

SPEAKER_00 36:41

No one

SPEAKER_02 36:42

likes

SPEAKER_00 36:42

to

SPEAKER_02 36:42

be told what to do.

SPEAKER_01 36:44

All right. So we can't leave you without doing our... recommendations segment. Amanda, what would you recommend to our friends?

SPEAKER_00 36:53

I recommend, so I was having a conversation on Valentine's night with our good friend, Jeff, and stay tuned for a special episode of The Mailbag with Jeff's refined gay thoughts. But I was having a conversation with Jeff who was out on Valentine's day and his bartender at his local gay bar, The Ripcord, was asking everybody to play for their love song or saddest songs recommendations. And so he had recommended, I can't make you love me if you don't, which is heart wrenching. And I said, I think my two would be two songs from rent without you and I'll cover your reprise. So we were talking about that. And then I started thinking about Jesse L. Martin, who played the original Tom Collins and, or played Tom Collins in the original Broadway cast. And I, Love Jesse L. Martin. His voice is incredible, but he also did a long stint on Law& Order, and he now has a show called The Irrational. And it's really interesting. It's a procedural, but it's a different take. So it's kind of the same thing where there's a new case each week, but he plays a social psychologist. And so he helps the FBI, but from a standpoint of understanding why people do what they do and why people do things that are irrational. And that part of it is very intriguing to me. to me. I just adore him as a person. And so my recommendation is to go check out The Irrational.

SPEAKER_01 38:16

Okay, very good. I'll go with that recommendation. I'll watch it with you.

SPEAKER_02 38:20

Okay, good.

SPEAKER_01 38:24

All right, Amanda, that's all there is. There is no more. I've already said that. And I know, and I'm saying it because that's my thing to say. But there are segments that we did not include because... Life happened. And so we got that in our back pocket for next time. But what'd you think of that mess?

SPEAKER_00 38:42

I liked all of it until you started waxing poetic about this broken down couch.

SPEAKER_01 38:48

Listen, we all have these connections to our past, right? And this sofa is my friend. You want to have friends over, but in order to have friends over, you're going to get rid of a friend. This is not how life works.

SPEAKER_00 39:00

Why can't you just put that couch in the office?

UNKNOWN 39:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 39:05

and then we can get a new couch for the living room.

SPEAKER_01 39:08

There's not enough room in the office. Yes, there is. You say the office, it's a tiny bedroom. There's not enough room

SPEAKER_00 39:13

in the office. If you get rid of that rocking chair that's there, that's scratched to hell, you don't, you never, well, you do sometimes. I love that. Then bring that rocking chair back up to this bedroom. We have a two-story house with four bedrooms, and in a loft space, there is a place to put all of your things.

UNKNOWN 39:34

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 39:34

Okay. We're just not getting rid of any of my friends. I don't have a lot of friends. Just relocate your friends. I don't have a lot of friends, right?

SPEAKER_00 39:41

Well, speaking of friends, two of your friends are coming over for brunch in a few minutes, so we got to go make some bacon.

SPEAKER_01 39:46

All right. If you want to talk to us about anything, email us at familiarwilsons at gmail.com. If you want to sponsor the podcast, if you have a small business, you want us to give a shout out, or if you just want to send us money to do this, then that's fine.

SPEAKER_00 40:03

I'll start a cow No,

SPEAKER_01 40:04

no, we're not. No, no. Okay. All right. So until next week, take care of your family. Take care of your friends. Don't just throw friends away on the trash heap because they smell bad or they're inconvenient. Keep your friends and take care of them. That's my message

SPEAKER_00 40:19

to you. Move them to a different room.

SPEAKER_01 40:21

Brilliant.

SPEAKER_00 40:22

Go be kind.

SPEAKER_01 40:23

Yeah, be kind. This is what Amanda says. We're moving friends to different rooms, closing the door and ignoring them. Very good.

SPEAKER_00 40:29

Bye.

SPEAKER_01 40:31

Bye. She's going to get me.