Super Familiar with The Wilsons
Marriage 2.0 with kids…and all the side quests!
Amanda and Josh on marriage, family, relationships, and connecting with new friends and interesting people. New Episodes every week.
Familiar Wilsons Media produces content to bring people together. We are curious, hopeful, and try not to take ourselves too seriously - admittedly, with varying degrees of success.
Super Familiar with The Wilsons
Find us on instagram at instagram.com/superfamiliarwitthewilsons
and on Youtube
Contact us! familiarwilsons@gmail.com
Super Familiar with The Wilsons
Bra Disposal, Understanding Menopause for Men, Unexpected Sheriff Visit
Topics
• The great bra disposal debate
• Unexpected sheriff visit
• First visit to Blaze Pizza
• The absurdity of everyday items
• "Game Time"
• Menopause symptoms men should know about
• Winthrop's soccer dilemma
Get in touch with your feedback or if you're also experiencing an unusually long week: familiarwilsons@gmail.com
Super Familiar with The Wilsons
Find us on instagram at instagram.com/superfamiliarwitthewilsons
and on Youtube
Contact us! familiarwilsons@gmail.com
Familiar Wilson's Media Relationships are the story. You are made of meat, my friend, all the way down. The following podcast uses words like and and also. If you're not into any of that shit, then now's your chance.
Speaker 2:Three, two, one run. I'm super familiar with you, so run. I'm super familiar with the Wilsons. Get it Welcome to. Super Familiar with the Wilsons, I'm Amanda.
Speaker 1:And I'm Josh Amanda, it's been a long week.
Speaker 2:It's been Thursday since, like Monday, it has been the longest week.
Speaker 1:It's weird because earlier in the week I had said to you it's been a long week and you said for you too, and I'm wondering if anyone else out there have. You thought that this week has been particularly longer than any other week? Get in touch, familiarwilsongmailcom, because I wonder if it's a global thing.
Speaker 2:I mean everybody I talked to at work expressed how long it has felt. So at least in my sphere, it has been long for everyone, and also, though, for the 18-year-old, because she's going through finals week and it's been super long. So maybe it's just this time of year school's wrapping up.
Speaker 1:Days are longer. We've had the time change. It's true that time does seem to stretch out, or our perception of time seems to stretch out when we experience novelty or anything that taxes our cognition beyond the norm, and maybe that's just this time of year and I'm just noticing it right now.
Speaker 2:Well, I can tell you from an education perspective, once spring break is over, between spring break and the end of school it feels about seven months long, because there's no break, everybody's done, but you still have to be at school, and it just goes on and on and on forever.
Speaker 1:Yeah well, is anyone else experiencing this? I'd really like to know. We can make this a little Wilson science experiment. I have a question for you. I went downstairs just now to get some water to come back up so that we can record in this luxurious Wilson studio. And there is a bra just in the garbage.
Speaker 2:It broke, I threw it away.
Speaker 1:Aren't you supposed to dispose of that sort of thing, are you?
Speaker 2:upset that it was on top of the broken eggshells in the egg carton, because what else do you want me to do with it?
Speaker 1:Isn't there supposed to be a separate bag or something for those type of things?
Speaker 2:to get rid of. Well, your delicate sensibility is offended by seeing the bra in the trash.
Speaker 1:Can I just it just surprised me. It's not a thing that I expect, it's just open the trash. Can there's a bra?
Speaker 2:well, it broke in the dryer. It can't be fixed. I threw it away okay, well, now I added to the landfill and I shouldn't have. But I don't know what to do with a broken bra.
Speaker 1:I can't give it to anybody did you grow up in a house where you would repurpose like clothes, like t-shirts or whatever, as like rags?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean yeah, my dad did for like washing the car and stuff right or drying the car.
Speaker 1:I will say that I do remember drying the car with old underwear.
Speaker 2:No, that's gross. No t-shirts Rip them apart so they don't look like what they used to be.
Speaker 1:It was clean.
Speaker 2:What do you think that you could do with this bra then?
Speaker 1:Do we have any use to store two things? Two things that are delicate, that need to be cushioned, or it doesn't even have to be that specific usage. Maybe it could be a tool belt and I'll keep my screws here and my nuts here.
Speaker 2:Wait, I'm mixing my euphemisms here, not no, I mean you can, you can. The cups are rather small.
Speaker 1:You can use them for your nuts if you want to know not what I meant to say, but yeah, so surely that we have use for stuff you're welcome to get it out and get all the eggshell grossness off of it, but I threw it away what if we cut out the cups and use them for something?
Speaker 2:No, listen. Any woman who's ever bought a bathing suit or a bra with removable cups will tell you what a giant pain in the ass that is.
Speaker 1:Well then, you're putting them in the wrong place.
Speaker 2:Yes, they never go back where they're supposed to. They always fold if they get washed that way, no.
Speaker 1:No one likes removable cups. Move along, yeah.
Speaker 2:But I'm saying I'm not saying no.
Speaker 1:You said remove the cups and I'm telling you that separate the cups and then like perhaps we could use it to get stuff out of the oven it's not a oven.
Speaker 2:Okay, the bra has is in the trash. It is I will consult you the next time that an intimate piece of clothing needs to be repurposed, but right now this one lives in the trash.
Speaker 1:If our kid is going to play sports, then let's start saving up, especially the ones that are padded. Start saving those up so that he can use them as protection.
Speaker 2:When you play soccer or football or whatever you want to call it, do you wear an athletic cup?
Speaker 1:I think that you should and you do. Let's send the used bras to Dan Belson.
Speaker 2:With the egg yolks on it. Watch out, Dan. Look for some posts coming at you soon.
Speaker 1:We had an alarm adventure this morning, oh.
Speaker 2:Lord.
Speaker 1:Just to catch everyone up on what we've already experienced we went out to walk the dog and apparently Amanda did not turn the alarm off correctly.
Speaker 2:I pushed the buttons with the code. I guess it didn't actually turn it off. I guess, the alarm pad is in a different room and so I didn't like usually just I it, just it works and it didn't work today.
Speaker 1:We went out front and the area in front of our house is a couple of undeveloped blocks, so we can walk up and down those those blocks and still of our house is a couple of undeveloped blocks, so we can walk up and down those blocks and still see our house.
Speaker 1:So we're walking around with the dog, chatting you know having a great old time being by ourselves for once and we get back to the house and the children come running down the stairs. What was that alarm? What was that alarm? There's an alarm that was just going off and it just stopped. And we figured out that it was our home alarm system that Amanda had not set correctly. So then, when we opened the door, the alarm went off. Now the alarm company sent me a text that was like is this alarm for reals or do you want us to cancel? Well, unfortunately or fortunately, depending on how you look at it this was one of those times where both Amanda and I decided look, we're going to step outside, we don't need our phones, let's just have a little separation from our phones, have a little moment. We did that, and that experience ended with a sheriff driving up to the house.
Speaker 2:Turns out, there's a reason why we are all attached to our phones.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean, that is the lesson. The lesson I've learned now is I will never, ever, ever be separate from my phone again. So I had to tell the sheriff, who was really cool about it. I had to say look, dude, you know we went out and my wife doesn't know how to use technology.
Speaker 2:Right, thank you.
Speaker 1:And he was like, oh, that's great. I'm like do you need to come in and check on something?
Speaker 2:Because you thought that he had to in and like, check the joint out. My only experience with an alarm going off was that was that so? When I first moved to gainesville, it was in 1994, and this was maybe three years after the gainesville murders which danny rolling came through in a horrible killing spree. It's what the movie scream was based on. If you're not familiar, we did an episode with our friends at sugar-coated murder uh, ann and k about it.
Speaker 2:But every new build apartment had panic buttons in the rooms because of this right, and so I was babysitting and the kid pushed the panic button. I didn't think to tell the kid don't push this button, the share. The police showed up. I met them outside and said, oh, I'm so sorry, this is what happened. And they said, okay, but we still have to come in and check. So I assumed that anytime there's an alarm that goes off and you meet them outside and tell them it's fine that they still have to come in and check to make sure you're not being held hostage and being told to say something. But this guy did not seem to care.
Speaker 1:He didn't. He was cool, although it was weird. Between the time that I saw the notification that the authorities had been dispatched and and him showing up like I, I was like what do I do? Do I wait for him to knock on the door? You know, that's weird. So what I did was I opened the front door and I sat outside on a chair that was on the on the front porch and just waited for him. I figured that that would he'd see the door was open. He'd see me sitting there. There's no mystery necessarily and, like I said, he was pretty cool with it, but it is a strange experience to know that the police are coming to your house.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but I mean, at least we know our alarm and dispatch system works. Now I'm waiting to see if we get charged for it, because sometimes-.
Speaker 1:You mean charged a fee, not charged with a crime.
Speaker 2:No, charged a fee for the dispatch. I don't know we weren't told that we would, but at the school that I used to teach at we had an alarm system and you got one free dispatch a month and then anything after that.
Speaker 1:You had to pay for it sounds like a deal that you get. You buy 12 tapes, you get one free alarm dispatch.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:I wonder what would have happened if we were still out in front of the house. But like a couple of blocks away If we'd have seen the sheriff roll up and walk to our. Would we have run like towards him, or would we have just hung back and said let's see what happens.
Speaker 2:Well, knowing our children are in here, I think we would have probably run Now. I'm really glad, though he didn't come. Well, I don't know, I'm of two minds. I'm glad he didn't come rolling up to the house with the alarms on, like with his siren on and lights on, although, but maybe he should have, because he didn't know what had happened.
Speaker 1:He just kept strolling up. Here we go. But could you imagine? Did you watch him? By the way, Were you watching?
Speaker 2:him come up. I didn't see him get out.
Speaker 1:I mean he was pretty calm and didn't seem like he was in that much of a hurry and, like I said, my expectation would be like he's gonna check my id to see if the address matches but I'm just sitting there and I'm I'm like, hey, you know. So either he's a very good judge of character or, at the end of the day, he really, really wasn't enthusiastic about meeting the needs of the homeowners here.
Speaker 2:I don't know, but the response time was pretty quick, so I appreciate that.
Speaker 1:I don't know we were. We were walking around for a long time.
Speaker 2:No, it was six minutes from the time he lorm off to the time he got here.
Speaker 1:I'm just thinking. We see the sheriff roll up to the house. Am I panicking or am I thinking? Well, we knew it was going to happen at some point what the, the eight-year-old one of the children, caused mass chaos so that that was the kids were really stressed out about. I actually wasn't that stressed out about it.
Speaker 2:No, they were but and then both of our kids are such rule followers that they're just like are we gonna make trouble? And then the eight-year-old was like the police gonna come, we're gonna tell them I don't want them, what are they gonna do? And we're like just go upstairs.
Speaker 1:We just everybody, go upstairs and we'll deal with it that's good we've taught our children when the police come, go hide.
Speaker 2:That's right and then we called him back down. Why?
Speaker 1:He's gone, he's gone.
Speaker 2:Okay. Oh, God we're training him well for house parties in his teenage years.
Speaker 1:That's right. The police are coming, everybody scream. We had a good day yesterday. I want to chat a little bit about our first visit to Blaze Pizza. Yes, yes, so LeBron's restaurant chain which you avoided for so long because, LeBron? No, that's not why I avoided it. Why are you forgetting the actual reason why I avoided it?
Speaker 2:Before the actual thing that happened. You also didn't want to patron LeBron's restaurant.
Speaker 1:I mean, I would prefer not to. But AJCW, who is our son Andrew and also a very talented musician, provides some music for this podcast, including the Game Time theme, which is my favorite piece of music. He used to work at Blaze. For a long time I had never visited because LeBron. So one day there was a school fundraiser.
Speaker 1:Like a spirit night Like a spirit night, and it was at Blaze. And so I take the eight-year-old, then like five-year-old or whatever he was, and you weren't there for some reason, I don't remember why, and we're like we're going to go to Blaze, we're going to see Andrew there as he's working, we're going to eat the pizza and it's going to be great. Coming out of the door ran me and the five-year-old over and I just said, well, forget this. And I was turned off to the experience. And then fast forward to this Saturday. We went to Winthrop soccer game, which they lost again by a lot, and after our tradition is to go to breakfast with, or to lunch, sorry, with, Winthrop and his two older brothers, Andrew and Daniel. So we did and we decided to go to Blaze. Well, loved Blaze.
Speaker 2:It was really good. I was pleasantly surprised.
Speaker 1:Andrew described it to me as the subway of pizza places.
Speaker 2:Fair enough, because it's assembly line.
Speaker 1:It is assembly line, but if you're selling, don't say that that can't be your pitch.
Speaker 2:Winthrop loved Subway, so it was fine for him so we go through the.
Speaker 1:The first of all, the pizza itself was really, really good. They have a lot of options. I just got a simple um cheese and and pepperoni and basil pizza and bacon and bacon. That's right. The crust is always my concern, but they, they did wood fire it yeah and it was nice and crispy and delicious great.
Speaker 1:Yeah, also, I got to meet some of andrew's work friends that he had for years. I mean, he worked there for a long time and as we're going through like I'm quizzing each of them, do you have a story on andrew? And of course they're loving it and and it was just real fun and funny. So, all in all, a great experience. I recommend it, or at the very least I recommend the gainesville, florida right, we can't speak for all the other ones, right but at the end we were sitting there and across from us was a table about of about nine college students yeah obnoxiously.
Speaker 1:When they got up, they all scraped their chairs across the floor.
Speaker 2:I think like one person made that noise and then they are all like, oh, this is fun, and just kept making it several times.
Speaker 1:So incredibly obnoxious? What is wrong with you?
Speaker 2:Well, I don't know if you noticed, but you put your fingers in your ears.
Speaker 1:I did.
Speaker 2:Because you have sensitivity right, and I watched some kid look at you and smirk about it.
Speaker 1:I'm glad that I did not know that I wasn't going to tell you. But the weirdest thing, though, is that, after they were all done being assholes and getting ready to leave, one of the ones who did it took time to go get a napkin and wipe the table down.
Speaker 2:It's your conscience about the table.
Speaker 1:Make that make sense.
Speaker 2:Right, I can't. I mean sorry, I thought that was just rhetorical, I didn't know I needed to actually make it make sense, because I can't.
Speaker 1:I need someone to. That's the person who robs your house but then rakes the leaves before they leave.
Speaker 2:Exactly, yeah, I don't know, but it was good. You should try Blaze Pizza. Maybe don't sit next to the kids who scrape their chairs on the floor Idiots.
Speaker 1:I think that one of the good things about this podcast is that we wake the world up every now and again to how ridiculous we are as human beings, and we're surrounded by this stuff. Every day. We're surrounded by things that are just ridiculous, that we do, that we take part in, that we have, that. If we just stopped and thought about it, we'd be like why did we do this? And one of them actually is right here on the table.
Speaker 2:No, that's mine, don't take that.
Speaker 1:Okay, sparkling water.
Speaker 2:I love it with my whole heart. You can't ruin it for me.
Speaker 1:Yes, but sparkling water is one of those examples of how, as a species, we have failed.
Speaker 2:No, what's wrong with you? I how, as a species, we have failed.
Speaker 1:No, what's wrong with you? I like this. We took two very free things and we've made it into an expensive luxury item Water and air Stuff that's like we cannot help but breathe around us and then stuff that the clouds ejaculate from themselves whenever they're full.
Speaker 2:I don't need you to ever say ejaculate clouds ever again.
Speaker 1:But what I'm saying to you is why have we turned this into a luxury item?
Speaker 2:I like it.
Speaker 1:I almost bought some of that. What's that stuff Topo.
Speaker 2:Chico, which I really like.
Speaker 1:Topo Chico, which I like the bottle. So maybe I'll just buy a bottle and fill it with water and have that be a refillable water. But I picked it up and I'm like it's not four dollars, it's like two something no, it's three dollars, at least three dollars.
Speaker 2:Three dollars and change okay, the reason why you turned or you were gonna commit to buying it and the reason why you turned around is because we were in Whole Foods and they have a water, ice free, cup thing station and I said to you, would you rather just have water?
Speaker 1:and so then you realize that that was free, so you took it back I'm just wondering what amount of marketing and what they've done to convince us that this is worth it. Are they like trying to say that it's artisanal, that, like somewhere in italy, an old man has lovingly handmade these bubbles and place them in your water, like what is happening? Why are we doing this?
Speaker 2:I like it because I don't drink soda. Right, I don't drink soda, but this satisfies some sort of something. It's just different than regular water. And also this one, though I didn't realize until we purchased it, is waterloo, which I like. Waterloo brand sparkling water. It's um guy fieri's flavor, town version, so he has them for the summer you are such a sucker.
Speaker 1:Look, look, look, it's right there. You are such a sucker I didn't realize it.
Speaker 2:I got it because it was lemon italian ice and that sounded interesting. He had one that was like a spicy mango something. Rather, I don't know how you make sparkling water spicy yeah, we didn't get it because you're allergic to mango probably no mango actually in there. But now I'm upset that I have guy fieri's flavor town sparkling water.
Speaker 1:Oh so you didn't know that. I didn't know that, so you didn't know. I didn't know until I got home. That wasn't a selling point. No, I didn't know until I got home.
Speaker 2:I just saw Lemon Italian Ice and I thought that was interesting. My favorite one is the Limoncello version of La Croix, because I don't know what it is, but it tastes sweet. There's no sugar, there's no calories, but it tastes sweet me it's your mind. It's your mind, that's fine, my mind is an interesting and confusing place to be then there are other things.
Speaker 1:I think this whole perpetuation of buying air and water and charging for it, that that's bad right there's other things that that we have and that we do, that are just ridiculous, like this whole idea of ball caps. Have you ever stopped and thought what a ball cap is?
Speaker 2:it's a hat that covered your head and keeps it from the sun, and people wear it when they play baseball, which is why it's called ball cap.
Speaker 1:It is a miniature awning for your face.
Speaker 2:Yes, it protects it from the sun. I don't know why this is a problem for you.
Speaker 1:Because you were wearing an awning on your head. We need to then now add like drapes, so that if you also want it to be dark, you can just close your drapes on your awning.
Speaker 2:I am certain those exist somewhere. Yeah, like the beekeeper's hat, because it has the drapes and it just drops down by the way.
Speaker 1:I'm so surprised, especially in Florida, that the beekeeper's hat hasn't become like a normal fashion accessory for people because of all the bugs and the gnats and shit that are all around. Can you imagine that would be a thing? I think it's ridiculous, but it it can be Wilson branded and we couldn't call it beekeepers hat, we'd have to call it, you know, florida fashion wear or something.
Speaker 2:But that's a thing.
Speaker 1:Now, that's taking the absurd, but still intensely practical. But I've got a quiz for you based on these, and so it is now game time. What time is it that music is? By the aforementioned AJCW? Check his work out on Apple, on Spotify, on all the places. Now, amanda, I'm going to give you a ridiculous description of a common everyday item and you work out what it's really called. So, for example, if I said tiny personal awnings for our faces, you would say Ball cap. Okay, so you ready, you get it? Yes.
Speaker 2:Really easy, yes.
Speaker 1:So your first one, I think, is rather easy Decorative business nooses.
Speaker 2:Neckties.
Speaker 1:Neckties, very good. Next, intentionally unstable fashion stilts, stilettos, stilettos or high heels in general. Do you remember the first time you wore high heels? Was it a problem? Did you have to learn how to walk?
Speaker 2:Oh, I've never been good at wearing high heels, ever, ever. I've never worn stilettos. First of all, I fall, just being flat-footed.
Speaker 1:That's very true.
Speaker 2:Like I mean I just am unstable anyway. I mean I don't mind like a chunky heel or like a character heel, but I don't do stilettos, I don't do it.
Speaker 1:Go ahead, fragile magnifying nose windows.
Speaker 2:Okay, well, glasses.
Speaker 1:Glasses, which, by the way, you've gone back now. I'm so annoyed You've gone back.
Speaker 2:I am so annoyed. Why are you annoyed? And everybody at work is like did you get new glasses? I'm like no, I got old. These are readers.
Speaker 1:But you wore glasses before you were pregnant. Then you got pregnant and didn't need glasses. But surely you figured that glasses would have to return.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I guess it was in my late 30s, so I was wearing glasses and contacts when you and I were dating, right, we got married was like 38. Right. And then, yeah, my vision, just like in my early 40s, just got better.
Speaker 2:So I've not needed because of pregnancy, though I don't know if it was because of pregnancy, but I have just for all of my 40s not needed glasses, like my vision's been perfect. And then all of a sudden I just having a headache when I'm looking at the screens at work and I thought, well, maybe it's just too much like blue light and whatever. But then when I really realized it was because I bought a coloring book I had been using like a coloring app on my phone to kind of wind down. So I got a real coloring book and couldn't see the lines in it.
Speaker 2:And it may be so like I could see the big lines but not the small lines, and so I have now. I have readers at home and readers at work.
Speaker 1:And the other day where you determined you need a third set of readers.
Speaker 2:No, we were at dinner and I couldn't read the menu.
Speaker 1:So now you need going out glasses too.
Speaker 2:I'm so annoyed, I'm so annoyed by this. Do they make contacts?
Speaker 1:for people who need readers.
Speaker 2:But that would no. I mean maybe, but how do you? Because it would be like bifocals, right, like I would need bifocals that were just like the reading thing and the rest of it was clear, because my distance vision is fine, I don't think it works.
Speaker 1:I don't think that you could do that with contacts. When I wore contacts, I did this thing because I hated wearing contacts, where I would have a contacted one eye, so the uncontacted eye would be for reading or whatever, and then the contacted eye would be for driving a distance.
Speaker 2:How did that not make you nauseated?
Speaker 1:It didn't make me nauseated, but it was really weird. I never got used to it, but I did try it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't recommend that.
Speaker 1:Don't do that I think people do that, though I think I got that idea from a person, not that I just thought one day well, I can't be bothered to put the second lens in. Let's see how it goes.
Speaker 2:People also sell water and air, and you don't like that either. So it doesn't. All right, I'm three for three go.
Speaker 1:Next one Clothes caves.
Speaker 2:Closets, suitcases, clothes caves yes, washing machine dryers.
Speaker 1:Pockets.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay, all right, all right, fair enough. I thought the thing that you put the clothes in was the cave. All right, all right.
Speaker 1:All right, portable filing cabinet, your phone? Well, that could be, but that's not what I'm going for.
Speaker 2:Briefcase.
Speaker 1:Wallet.
Speaker 2:Oh, that's good.
Speaker 1:Miniature metal shackles voluntarily worn as a public announcement a medical alert bracelet miniature metal shackles voluntarily worn as a public announcement wedding rings wedding rings.
Speaker 2:That's rude wedding rings.
Speaker 1:Whatever, I always wear my weight you, I wear.
Speaker 2:I don't wear mine as much as you wear yours, you don't. Because I cannot sleep in jewelry. I cannot do it. I've never been able to sleep in necklaces, earrings. I can't even sleep in my Fitbit. I try, so I take my ring off at night and sometimes I forget to put it back on.
Speaker 1:Hmm, sometimes you forget.
Speaker 2:Hmm, all right. Next, invisible electricity command lever Garage door opener Light switches. Oh, okay.
Speaker 1:Sacrificial bread ovens. Toaster ovens, toaster ovens. Are you marking these down that you're?
Speaker 2:getting right. Oh, I do. Okay, I'm five for whatever you've asked me.
Speaker 1:Okay, fancy cloth, darkness walls drapes yeah curtains, yep morning screaming machines oh god, alarm clocks.
Speaker 2:I hate them. Do you hate our alarm clock? Alexa gets so annoyed at me because I tell her to stop so many times. Do you think she would be like you're not getting up? I'm just gonna stop, like I'd be like alexa stop. And then I'd tell her five minutes and like whatever you think at some point she'd be like listen, you're not gonna get up, so we're done I'm quite certain we're really close to that with ai.
Speaker 1:I'm quite certain that pretty soon these machines are going to give us input into our lives that we do not want and that we cannot stop yeah so they're going to become in-laws that's like the progression all right, mutual micro wrestling to prove that we're not a threat handshakes handshakes. Yeah, tiny rolling thrones strollers. Yes, because they're all dictators, these children valuable mini pictures of dead people oh god money two more negotiated freedom contracts between humans and canines um dog collars. I'll give you that Dog tag, Pet leashes yeah.
Speaker 2:Oh, leashes okay.
Speaker 1:And then, lastly, a chain of tiny trophies for remembering where we're allowed to be.
Speaker 2:Keys, key chains. Okay, so I got 12. How many did you ask me?
Speaker 1:That's 12 out of 17.
Speaker 2:All right, so let me do that math.
Speaker 1:Is that a C? What is that Low B?
Speaker 2:It's a 70, 71, 71%.
Speaker 1:Okay, well, there you go, Good job.
Speaker 2:Thanks.
Speaker 1:And now it's time for Poetry Corner.
Speaker 2:We haven't had a poem in a while.
Speaker 1:I know, but you inspired me.
Speaker 2:Oh Lord, I don't want to hear it.
Speaker 1:You inspired me because you have purchased what?
Speaker 2:Stop laughing at me.
Speaker 1:It's not kind it is kind, you love it, but you have purchased a laundry hamper that you can carry around on your back.
Speaker 2:Oh my God, I love my backpack hamper so much. It is the most ridiculous thing. No, because I the laundry room is downstairs. I have always thought people who have a laundry room upstairs and downstairs are very like frou frou. However, now that I have broken my foot on these damn stairs and you have fallen many times, I can see the appeal to having an upstairs laundry room. Right, I've fallen like twice.
Speaker 2:No friend, You've fallen more than twice and there's a hole in that wall to prove it that you need to spackle over because you fell into the wall.
Speaker 1:There's no fucking hole in the wall. What are you talking about?
Speaker 2:Because we have a landing right.
Speaker 1:We go down, there's a landing. You fell into the landing and you fell into the landing. There's no hole in the wall. Yes, there is why are you telling lies? And damn lies.
Speaker 2:No, it's true. Anyway, because I cannot be trusted to go down these stairs holding laundry baskets, I found this wonderful thing at Target, where I just carry it on my back, and it's the best thing that's ever happened to me.
Speaker 1:All right. So I've written a poem about the feelings that this has given me. Now, this is a special poem, filled with imagery, filled with deep felt things, and I only hope that it resonates with you.
Speaker 2:With your listener, or me With you.
Speaker 1:Amanda, the symbolism and all the things. So I'm going to roll this very special mood music by AJCW, by the way, giving him. So here we go. It's not a laundry hamper, it's an act of domestic subterfuge. A Trojan horse of cotton and mesh rolling casually through the hallway, unassuming innocent, but inside a calculated archive of compromise. The shirt she wore when she didn't want to talk, the leggings that outlasted a three-day Zoom meeting, a lone sock, retired from its partner like an astronaut who came back changed. She wears it like a pack mule with tenure. She's foraging not for food but for signs of innocence. She doesn't carry dirty clothes. She carries the evidence of a life well nested in, cushioned, spilled on sweat, through lived. It's wearable compromise, an elegant solution to the awkward ballet of domesticity where the grace is not in the folding but in the knowing glance over her shoulder, as if to say I don't need help, I have straps my back.
Speaker 2:It's surprisingly moving, did you cry.
Speaker 1:I don't need help. I have straps. This is my backpack.
Speaker 2:It's surprisingly moving. Did you cry? Are you crying? I'm not crying. Shut up, you're crying. I am not crying. And if I am, I blame perimenopause, it is not me.
Speaker 1:Oh, perimenopause. What about perimenopause is causing you to cry at my wonderful poem?
Speaker 2:Well, do you know the difference between perimenopause is causing you to cry at my wonderful poem. Well, do you know the difference?
Speaker 1:between perimenopause and menopause. I just think that this one's a little bit more specific to people called peri. I don't know.
Speaker 2:No no perimenopause.
Speaker 1:I'm not an ignorant idiot. It's the precursor right.
Speaker 2:It's the lead up to Perimenopause is the transition. Menopause is one day. Wait what Menopause is defined as 12 months from your last menstrual cycle. It is just the one day, and then everything is post-menopause, so what people have usually called menopause is really perimenopause.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh. So you've already taught me something I didn't know that.
Speaker 2:Right, that's what I'm saying. Perimenopause is the transition of everything. It's the fluctuation of hormones, it's usually it. So it starts usually in your mid to late 40s. Right, hi, I'm here. Uh, but it can happen earlier. It's usually signified by irregular periods, but because I have an iud, I don't really know like I haven't because I have birth control, it keeps me from having it. Um, but I have asked ChatGPT to give me perimenopause symptoms men should know about, right, and it said absolutely. It's so important for men to understand perimenopause, both to support partners and just to be better humans. So here we're going to tell you to be a better human. Okay, here's a clear and honest list of perimenopause symptoms men should know about. Here are the top ones irregular periods we talked about that. Hot flashes and night sweats. Human okay, here's a clear and honest list of perimenopause symptoms mentioned know about. Here are the top ones irregular periods we talked about that. Hot flashes and night sweats yeah, okay right.
Speaker 2:Sudden intense heat that can cause sweating, flushing and discomfort, sometimes even during sleep.
Speaker 1:Sleep problems, difficulty can I ask you, can I ask you questions as we go? So do you actually, when you have these hot flashes, does your temperature temperature go up? Do you if you were to take a thermometer? Would that be. Would you be hotter?
Speaker 2:No, my, my, I've tried it. No, my temperature doesn't change, but it feels like you're burning from the inside.
Speaker 1:So that is the worst, because not only do you feel that, like I can't even benefit from it, Like if we lived in a cold, in cold climes, it couldn't be like, well, I'm warmer now, but at least my family is getting a little more. You know climate control.
Speaker 2:I'm so glad we've made this about you already. Go ahead Now. I haven't gotten night sweats yet but we have been turning the air down lower for nighttime.
Speaker 1:Well, I like that anyway. I enjoy that.
Speaker 2:Well, and I read somewhere like the optimal temperature for sleep is between 68 and 72 degrees Fahrenheit, and we typically Between 60 and 72?
Speaker 1:68 and 72. Oh, 68.
Speaker 2:But we have been keeping it at like 74. So now we're putting it down to like 72 or 70. Yeah yeah, okay, sleep problems. Right, I've always had them, but they're worse Difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep, often tied to night sweats or anxiety. Mine are probably anxiety.
Speaker 1:Or the eight-year-old coming in every night.
Speaker 2:He's gotten much better. All right. Mood changes, irritability, sadness, mood swings and even episodes of rage. It's hormonal, not personal, and like the rage is starting to settle in. I was on Friday. So I have a really good friend who is also experiencing the same type of perimenopause as I am. I have my genetics group of friends and one has already been through it. The rest of them are not quite there yet, but she and I are going through it at the same time and I texted her and I said so-and-so's voice makes me angry. It's not just that I don't like their voice, I'm actually physically angry about this voice. Like rage is now becoming a thing Brain fog, trouble concentrating, forgetfulness and feeling mentally fuzzy.
Speaker 2:I liken it to like that pregnancy brain fog and new parent brain fog. I do have a good friend that is the same age as me really good friend from high school and she and I were talking about it and she said that she has been promised that it does get better on the other side of it, because she is incredibly forgetful too. Now we both have parents who have had cognitive decline she and I have and so we talked about how that makes us really nervous, but she said that she has been told by people who have been through it that it does get better. Decreased libido. We don't need to go into that Dryness and discomfort in other places. I don't want to go into Weight changes.
Speaker 2:Weight might redistribute, especially around the waist, and it can be harder to lose weight. Yep, high Fatigue, deep, persistent tiredness not easily fixed with sleep, and you've said that to me the other day. I am worried about you. You're tired in the mornings, or you seem more tired, and you don't laugh or smile like you used to Like. You don't seem to be finding like joy in life and my response was just perimenopause is sucking out my soul. So anxiety and panic attacks. Some women experience anxiety or sudden panic that seems to come out of nowhere. Get those anyway.
Speaker 2:Changes in skin, hair and nails Skin might get drier, hair might thin, nails become more brittle That's's happened to me. My nails have always been super strong. They're not anymore. Joint muscle pain, aches and pains, often mistaken for just getting older, can be hormone related headaches. Some women who have never had migraines start getting them. For others, migraines worsen. I've been getting worse ones. Here's a fun one for us changes in body odor. Have you noticed that no shifts in hormone levels can change natural scent well, your hair smells different, my hair smells different yeah, because you've changed your shampoo odor.
Speaker 2:Have you noticed that no Shifts in hormone levels can change natural scent?
Speaker 1:Well, your hair smells different. Do I smell different? My hair smells different? Yeah, because you've changed your shampoo.
Speaker 2:Okay, well, right, okay. And then breast tenderness is a thing. So here it is important things that men should understand. It's a physiological process, it's not all in our head. Symptoms can last for years. Perimenopause can stretch Perimenopause can stretch for four to 10 years before full menopause.
Speaker 1:What's the medicine? What medicine Can we go get medicine? Is there medicine?
Speaker 2:Support matters is the next one. Understanding patience and compassion can make a huge difference. And then open communication, asking how you can help instead of assuming, is key. Then it asked me if I wanted a quick cheat sheet or visual infographic, which I asked it to make and I'm going to email it to you. But then here are some lesser known, unusual perimenopause symptoms that can totally catch people off guard. Here are the ones men and honestly everyone should know about Burning mouth syndrome, a weird burning, tingly or numb feeling in the mouth or tongue, sometimes like eating something spicy but without any food involved. Electric shock sensations, random zaps or jolts under the skin, sometimes right before a hot flash. Jesus, formication. Do you know what formication is?
Speaker 2:uh, you better not do that that's fornication, this is formication which is itchy skin. Skin can feel itchy, crawly or like bugs are under it again. Hormone shifts affecting the nerves, gum problems, swollen, bleeding or sensitive gums without major dental issues. Tinnitus, ringing in the ears sudden or worsening ringing, buzzing or whooshing sounds in the ears. I have been getting more ringing, dizziness or vertigo. Feeling lightheaded, wobbly or off balance, sometimes mistaken for inner ear issues.
Speaker 2:Changes in taste or smell. Food might taste weird, metallic or different than usual. Smells might seem stronger or distorted, which is interesting because I've been much more smell sensitive and I jokingly said to you I might be pregnant because that was always the tell for me was smells were super bad. This is just perimenopause. Dry eyes eyes can feel gritty, dirty or watery, and not just from screens. I've been having that.
Speaker 2:Heart palpitations, having those two. Increased allergies or sensitivity, more sensitive to food, fabrics or environmental allergens they were fine with before. Bladder problems yep like feeling like I just have to pee when they just went Me, but all the time Body temperature sensitivity Can't tolerate cold or heat anymore. Hair growth in new places like mustaches and things. Weird aches in hands and feet. Depression or grief feelings, even without a clear reason. Someone experienced deep existential sadness or mourning, sometimes tied to hormonal changes or the life stage shift. I walk around Publix crying. Publix just makes me cry. The grocery store makes me cry. Anyway, here's why these things are happening. Hormone fluctuations, especially in estrogen and progesterone swings, affect not just the reproductive system but the nerves, brain chemistry, muscles, skin and internal organs too. That's why the symptoms can feel so random and wide ranging.
Speaker 1:Now Can we just go back to all these symptoms or consequences? I feel like the next time we do this podcast, you need to learn to talk quick like they do in those drug commercials.
Speaker 2:Oh yes.
Speaker 1:Because that's what that sounded like to me. Side effects include, yes, absolutely Side effects of being a woman include?
Speaker 2:Okay, I would like. And you asked me where the medicine is. I can tell you that if men went through this and not women, there would be several medicines already developed. Now it asked me if I wanted a one sentence, super simple version to explain to someone, and it said I can make a funny one if you want to. So I said, yes, please. So here is my funny one sentence version for you to help you understand the women in your life who might be experiencing perimenopause. Perimenopause is like the chaotic, drunken pre-party, where everything's unpredictable. Menopause is when the music stops, the lights come on and your ovaries ghost you forever. I asked it to do a Shakespearean one. For me, Perimenopause is when thine body becometh a theater of most curious humors sweats, rages, aches and menopause is when the players all leave, the stage is barren and thine ovaries retire to a tavern in the next village.
Speaker 1:Very well.
Speaker 2:I want my ovaries to retire to the tavern.
Speaker 1:I'm okay with this. Yeah, I don't. I don't mind. I don't mind that, all right. Well, thank you for that exhaustive overview listen.
Speaker 2:uh-uh. You can be okay with having to listen to about five minutes of content. If I have to go through four to eight years of this nonsense, remember when, yes, you are complaining because you were sitting there doing this, like hurry it up with me, do you not listen? It's not about you. It's not about how this is like too long for you Going to the tavern with my ovaries.
Speaker 1:Okay, I love you. Okay, I love you. I did read somewhere that men can help by reminding women to get exercise to eat better and to not drink as much, and I will put a foot in your face if you do that to me. I know Even I'm smarter than all that. A dude wrote that.
Speaker 1:Yes, a dude wrote that Well, we had to take about a 20-minute rage break there and Amanda had to go break a bunch of shit outside. So now we have our letters. Amanda, you ready for this letter? You asked for feedback for our problem with Winthrop. Yeah, did somebody give us feedback they did you want to recap really quickly, like what the problem is?
Speaker 2:Yeah, so the problem is that Winthrop is pretty decent at soccer and last season he was on a, I mean a pretty, a pretty good team. He would score goals, like he had another little friend, gunter. We've talked about who. They were a good team together and he really enjoyed it. This season he's on a team with kids who are younger than him, kids who are less experienced than him, and they don't try like they just. I mean they run around and they're and they're having fun, but I mean they'll stand next to the goal and just watch the ball roll into it and it's frustrating.
Speaker 1:Oh, no, no, no. Worse than that. Worse than that. This week, one kid on his team. The ball was rolling towards the goal. The kid ran towards it and stopped it and then moved away from it and then moved away from it like he was setting the golf ball up on the tee. Yeah, he did tiger woods.
Speaker 2:That happened twice yes, and winthrop's just getting really defeated, like he before really didn't care if they won or lost, like he, just really had a good time. He would say, it doesn't matter if we win, like he. But now he's he's starting to really get defeated and we were talking to him yesterday. He's now starting to have stomach aches as we're going there. He's got some anxiety about it.
Speaker 2:He still has fun when he's running around, but Josh and I were saying you know, don't worry about winning, just have a really good time. And then he said but can we just at least try to win one? And that's so sad to me because he's trying and all the other parents are like, wow, he's so good. No, he's just trying. And you and I have had this conversation where you say it's just a game and I say it's not just a game whether he wins or lose, that's just a game. But what this is supposed to teach him is working hard for something, being committed to something, teamwork, collaboration, going toward goals. And when you do all those things and you just keep getting beaten down week after week, what that's actually teaching you is it doesn't matter if you try, because you're just not going to succeed.
Speaker 2:So, dan belson, has written us oh good, because gavin had chimed in and I was wondering if dan was ever going to chime in. So my question was do we keep making him go because we see that he has natural talent, or do we just say fine, you don't. You know like this has been a bad experience, we're not going to have you go anymore yeah.
Speaker 1:So here we go, and, by the way, I don't I don't ascribe to that like. I want him to keep going because I love that he's getting the exercise. He says this wilson's, what are we even doing here? We can't stand by and let your son's talent go to waste. No wonder he says he doesn't want to play, when each week his team is on the receiving end of a thrashing. Get him off that team of losers. Get him a trade to a winning team and let him flourish. Call the GMs of the Jaguars the Goldfish, the Chimpanzees, whatever it takes. Hashtag justice for Winthrop PS. Josh, I hope you had a wonderful birthday week like a 16-year-old girl. Warmest regards, dan.
Speaker 2:Thank you, dan. So yeah, so here's where I am. We need to look at this league, because this league that he's in is again like, yeah, they don't, they don't keep standings, they do scores. And the younger ages, they don't even do scores. And we tried this league with Muffy when she was three and she got so pissed and she still talks about it Because they weren't supposed to have keepers, like people were not even supposed to be near the goal and it's, and somebody like like blocked her from kicking, and she is still angry about it 15 years later. It's just very good. So, um, this league is maybe not the right thing for us. I do want him because he has natural talent. I do want him to kind of cultivate that a little bit. We're gonna take a break for summer. I asked him if he asked him if he wanted to try gymnastics, and he said, no, I don't want to try gymnastics, but I want to do that thing where you jump off of stuff, and she said parkour. He's like yeah, I want to do parkour.
Speaker 1:So we're not just like his mom yeah, but you break your feet.
Speaker 2:I um, they have a ninja class at the local gymnasium like gymnastics place, so we're gonna maybe try, try ninja class this summer, because one it'll be indoors and it'll be, uh, air conditioned we're gonna teach our eight-year-old how to silently sneak up on us and kill us in our sleep.
Speaker 1:He already knows how to do that he does it daily anyway, he hasn't, he hasn't brought a ninja star with him yet, but he does know how to do that.
Speaker 2:He does it daily anyway. He hasn't. He hasn't brought a ninja star with him yet, but he does know how to sneak up in the middle of the night. Anyway, we're gonna go back to soccer in the fall, but we're gonna look for a league that is a little bit more structured for him. I don't need him to be in competitive soccer, like super hard competitive soccer, but I do want to have him, you know, get the chance to see if he likes it in a more structured environment. So thank you, dan.
Speaker 1:Thank you, Dan. Anyone else have an opinion? Let us know. Familiarwilsons at gmailcom. All right, Amanda, that's all there is. There is no more. I just pray that the rage has dissipated a little bit. Now We've had this lovely recording.
Speaker 2:I'm just looking lovingly at my Guy Fieri seltzer water and I'm fine, okay, very good. I might need to put, like some whiskey or gin in it, though.
Speaker 1:I drank the last of the Jamesons yesterday.
Speaker 2:Happy birthday. That was your birthday present.
Speaker 1:It was my birthday from Professor O'Malley. So that was good, Professor O'Malley. So that was good, Professor O'Malley. I got to give him a call. He wants to be on the show, by the way.
Speaker 2:Well, yes, but he needs to bring more Jameson when we record. He wants to record in person, right?
Speaker 1:Right, yeah, yeah, bring the Jameson mic. All right, we'll have him tonight, all right? So this episode of Super Familiar with the was conjured into existence by a consortium of these weird beings and metaphysical anomalies. So you ready? Yes, many thanks to Matt, our chief architect of the infinite staircase that leads to nowhere, to Antonio, the minister of whispered secrets, to Josh Scar, curator of the Museum of Forgotten Things, danny Buckets, the overseer of Eternal Rain, chicken Tom, the ambassador to the Galactic Council of Sentient Poultry. Monique from Germany, the Empress of the Clockwork Forest, and, of course, thank you to Joey, joey. Thank you to Refined Gay Jeff, designer of the universe's most fabulous black holes, to Mark and Rachel, co-chairs of the Committee of Unexplained Laughter, and, of course, dan and Gavin, joint directors of the Bureau of Unfinished Sentences.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Special thanks to the sentient cloud that provided emotional support during recording and to the invisible orchestra of jellyfish that comprise some of the music. And remember reality is just a suggestion, not a rule. Go, be kind, bye, bye.
Speaker 2:Not a rule Go be kind.
Speaker 1:Bye.
Speaker 2:Bye.
Speaker 1:About the type. The text for this episode appears in Wilson's Bold Breakfast, a typeface rediscovered in 1954 when archaeologists unearthed a cafe menu etched into the walls of an ancient subterranean church Believed to have originated sometime around 1611, possibly during the Great Pancake Enlightenment. Wilson's Bold Breakfast was initially banned by the Royal Society of Typographic Decency for being too enthusiastic. Thank you, I'm going to go get some food. I have shoes made out of cheese. They make me feel so good. They roll to my feet Like good shoes, shoulda. They're not made of suede or fine patent leather. They're made of the finest.
Speaker 1:Sharp aged cheddar. Easy by sake, easy girl.
