Coffee, Kids, and the Existential Weight of Teaching Life Skills

In this episode of Super Familiar with the Wilsons, Amanda and Josh wrestle with the joys and indignities of modern parenting, including teaching their kid to ride a bike, spoiler: there’s crying, possibly from all parties.

Along the way, they dive into caffeinated reflux regrets, debate the ethics of bird ownership, and get surprisingly philosophical about poop. Listener emails bring tales of Pride parades, pottery pilgrimages, and coffee mug addiction, while the Wilsons unpack what it means to really be helpful to your kids... even if it means outsourcing the hard stuff.

Featuring: nostalgic parenting fails, suburban social anxiety, a new product ad from Wilson Technologies, and some questionable thoughts about pelicans.

If you’re into marriage 2.0, secondhand life lessons, and the kind of podcast where "you're welcome" might start an argument...this one’s for you.

Email us at familiarwilsons@gmail.com to share your experiences with teaching your children important life skills!

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Transcript

Marriage 2.0 With All The Side Quests

Speaker 1 0:00

Familiar Wilson's Media Relationships are the story. You are made of meat, my friend, all the way down. The following podcast uses words like and and also. If you're not into any of that shit, then now's your chance. Three, two, one run.

Speaker 2 0:22

I'm super familiar with you. Wilson run I'm super familiar with the Wilsons.

Speaker 1 0:26

Get it.

Speaker 2 0:29

Welcome to Super Familiar with the Wilsons. I'm Amanda.

Speaker 1 0:32

And I'm Josh and we are the podcast about marriage 2.0 with kids and all the side quests. That's right, we're both on our second marriages because apparently one life partner wasn't enough. Character development.

Speaker 2 0:45

The way you say this. We're on our second Like this is just like a stop in the road and we're going to have more. Listen, I'm done. If this does not work out, I will have companions, but I'm not living in a house with anybody else Like what do you mean companions? You know, like Doctor who, I don't know. I'm just people who will go along with me in my life, but I'm not living with anybody else.

Speaker 1 1:08

So you're saying that after me is butler.

Speaker 2 1:10

That's it, that's right, I'll get a butler.

Speaker 1 1:12

Or a maidservant or something.

Speaker 2 1:14

Yeah, and then they can drive me around. No, I don't even want them to drive me around, I don't even prefer to drive. Well, because we always go in my car and it's just my car, and so it's my car. You don't let me drive your car. You were so funny. I thought I was gonna have to drive your car the other night for the first time yes because muffie was off with my car and it wasn't starting.

Speaker 2 1:38

It was like 10 o'clock at night and I went to and you're like do you know how to drive it? It's a stand, I mean, it's an automatic car, it's a four-door, it's a four-wheeled car, I mean it has lights. I've driven many, many different cars in my lifetime but you were like do you know how to drive it?

Speaker 1 1:58

We need to start doing video, because how you describe that is that it's as if I was a chihuahua and I was shaking.

Speaker 2 2:04

You were twitchy, I was not twitchy at all.

Speaker 1 2:07

It's a different car, it's a different layout, and you were going at night and so I just wanted to listen. I'm just trying to protect you, as we have determined, my job is to protect you and make sure that you are fully prepared for every challenge in life.

Speaker 2 2:22

Is that because you plan on leaving me soon? You need to know that I'm well-adjusted.

Speaker 1 2:27

We all know the answer to that.

Coffee, Reflux, and Friday Activities

Speaker 2 2:29

But let's get off this topic.

Speaker 1 2:31

I don't know how that happened.

Speaker 2 2:32

All I was saying is that you said words. That's how we got there, All right.

Speaker 1 2:36

Well, let me very quickly change the subject then. So this week I have started drinking caffeinated coffee again.

Speaker 2 2:44

Yeah, how long were you not drinking caffeinated coffee?

Speaker 1 2:48

Oh, a long while, maybe six months.

Speaker 2 2:51

Oh really, yeah, yeah, it's been a while.

Speaker 1 2:53

So I do this thing where I'll drink coffee and really enjoy the focus that the caffeine gives me, but then two things happen It'll start to wear off you know, become less effective, and so then I'll have to have more coffee, and within the last couple of years, caffeinated coffee now gives me really bad reflux.

Speaker 2 3:13

Yes.

Speaker 1 3:15

So I head cut it for those two reasons. Work has been such that like I've just kind of felt like I needed to be a little bit sharper, a little bit more focused. So I started doing it and I I've been a house of fire for the last couple of weeks. No really, it's been really good. I've really enjoyed the focus, enjoyed this and that, but I'm starting to get this really bad reflux. So it's a really weird situation. That's probably some sort of metaphor for our capitalistic society, and that is that I have to be more focused to do more work. But the way I get there is with something that slightly hurts me it causes you pain so I'm back on coffee now.

Speaker 1 3:54

We'll see how long that lasts, but, man, this weekend I've had really bad reflux I'm sorry, coffee and I've never broken up you're still on your first relationship. Yeah, coffee and I have a long-standing relationship.

Speaker 2 4:05

It's probably my longest term relationship. Yeah, coffee and I have a long-standing relationship. It's probably my longest term relationship being coffee oh, okay, I think I started drinking coffee at like 14 oh, did you?

Speaker 1 4:11

yeah, that's way that doesn't seem right. Is that why you're so short?

Speaker 2 4:16

yes, honey, the coffee stunted. My growth has nothing to do with the fact. Genetics so you remember the first time you had coffee yeah, because my mom I mean my mom was a big coffee drinker. My mom always liked coffee strong. She would have um cream, half and half and milk. I mean no, half, half and half milk, half and half and honey in hers oh god, that sounds gross um, it wasn't, but then.

Speaker 2 4:36

So I used to drink it sweetened and then by the time I hit my 20s I was like, no, I don't want sweet in my coffee. Like I don't. Every once in a while I'll get like a want sweet in my coffee. Like I don't. Every once in a while I'll get like a frou-frou, like holiday flavor of some sort of like latte or something. But I really I'm not even a pumpkin spice kind of girly. My favorite was Starbucks. A while ago used to have a gingerbread latte and I loved that, but they don't have that anymore. So no, I think I've been drinking at least since high school.

Speaker 1 5:01

Okay, well, I've been drinking a long time too, but now this reflux thing is happening, so that kind of hurts. And then also, the 18 year old is out of town right now and we got the eight year old to sleep early on Friday night, so therefore we got to have a little special Josh and Amanda time, and my abs are really, really hurting right now.

Speaker 2 5:24

I can't believe you're saying this, because we now know that at least one of her friends listens to this podcast and they are gonna be scandalized and tell her, Scandalized by what exactly? The fact that you have talked about how now your abs hurt from your strenuous Friday night activity.

Speaker 1 5:41

I'm trying to figure out if that means I've reached a certain age now or if I'm just out of shape.

Speaker 2 5:46

Or a little of both. I think it's probably a little of both.

Speaker 1 5:49

Okay, well.

Speaker 2 5:50

I don't remember you doing crunches.

Speaker 1 5:52

I mean Kind of I'm embarrassed.

Speaker 2 5:59

You are so embarrassed my face is turning red.

Speaker 1 6:01

It is red. So this is telling me I do need to do more crunches and get in better shape. This is all I am saying to you. We'll be right back after this message from Wilson Technologies.

Speaker 1 6:19

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Animal Bathroom Behaviors

Speaker 1 7:21

Don't let parenthood put your love life on hold. Order the Hushabye Hideaway today from Wilson Technologies, because every parent deserves a little peace and quiet. Side effects may include actual sleep, improved mood and neighbors wondering why you're suddenly so cheerful. Not recommended for households with children who have mastered lockpicking with children who have mastered lock picking. Anyway, moving along and speaking of movements, I noticed something the other day as we were walking the dog Dogs, I think. Out of all the creatures that I've had the misfortune to see excrete, they look the most uncomfortable and ashamed while they are doing it.

Speaker 1 8:03

Dogs. I feel like know just enough to have shame right, but not enough to do anything about it. If he could talk, he'd be like stop looking at me, don't look at me. But, as it is, he will do it and always he will look over to see if I'm looking at him and meanwhile he looks so uncomfortable, bent up like a pretzel, so unnatural looking. While he looks so uncomfortable, bent up like a pretzel, so unnatural looking, something so natural and so commonplace.

Speaker 2 8:28

And animals shouldn't look so uncomfortable and unnatural I read something somewhere where, if dogs look in your eyes while they're doing it, it means this one thing I think that when he's looking you the eyes, it may just be like to see who will look away first, just having a staring contest. Imagine if people were like dogs and you had to circle like 700 times in front of the toilet before you went our bathroom is not big enough like, then you just invited me for a staring contest.

Speaker 2 8:54

No, thank you now, it's unlike horses, who they'll just walk and they won't break stride they won't do it while they're walking it just happens and you would have no clue except for the splat sound you know, what I think is the worst, though, is birds, because it's not only did they just do it while they're flying, like it targets, you, do you really think that they're targeting you know I got hit the other day when we were did you really?

Speaker 1 9:17

orlando. Yeah, it was so annoying too, because I was sitting out by the pool with the kids and I was just past the umbrella Like maybe there was about I don't know, four or five inches of me that wasn't covered by the umbrella, and then just right there, I was so annoyed I couldn't believe it. Yes, in that case I absolutely believed they were targeting me, and he may have been with a buddy and been like hey, watch this, I've been practicing Was it your leg though.

Speaker 1 9:48

No, but it's on those new pants that I just bought and I was so fucking annoyed. That's annoying.

Speaker 2 9:50

Winthrop now is really into birds and when we go to PetSmart he wants to go look at the birds and he keeps telling me how cute birds are and would ever want a bird. And I said no, I mean, I think birds are cute, but I don't want a bird. They're a. They're a lot of work to you know, to keep up with and clean their cage and everything and he said but they're so cute, they're like hamsters, but with wings.

Speaker 1 10:13

I think like the most pathetic things that people have as pets are birds, not to bring us down, but you intentionally take away their main source of mobility right because you clip their wings and then you keep them in a little cage. At least with fish they can still swim. Dogs and cats they can go about and do their thing. Mice and gerbils and hamsters can be on their little fucking wheels. Birds, it's like it's awful. No one should own a bird.

Speaker 2 10:38

Yeah, I mean, I'm not gonna disagree with you.

Speaker 1 10:41

Except for maybe a vulture Then you could use, or a pelican. You can use it like the Flintstones use it and then put all your refuse in there.

Speaker 2 10:47

Oh, was it like a compost pile, A compost thing? Yeah, I think it was the pelican. Pelicans I don't see pelicans in person very often, but they are interesting looking things. Oh yeah, they're big.

Speaker 1 10:58

If you mean big, that I didn't realize until I saw one in the flesh Eagles are freaking huge man.

Speaker 2 11:04

Are they? Where did you see one? We went on.

Speaker 1 11:13

Alaska cruise back in marriage 1.0 and they had a thing like a conservatory that you could go there and they would have an eagle and that damn thing like its talons were bigger than my hands, just to give you an idea. And yeah, the freaking thing is massive. They're huge. Some of them can be huge. Another weird thing about eagles in Alaska is they are so prevalent. They're like pigeons. In New York, Really, we're like, oh, the majestic eagle, and in Alaska they're like. These damn things are shitting all over my storefront. Can we please get rid of them?

Speaker 2 11:40

I need this. It's trying to eat my chips.

Speaker 1 11:42

Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 2 11:44

We have friends who are currently in Scotland. In Scotland they were doing a falconry thing.

Speaker 1 11:48

Yeah.

Speaker 2 11:48

And so the boys had their arms out and the falcons were landing on them.

Speaker 1 11:53

Sure.

Speaker 2 11:54

Giant too, Like they were. And the boys were chill and it was like kids in their 20s and they were. It was terrifying to me to watch. Really fascinating but just like chill. The other thing they did is they paid to go watch sheep herding dogs. This is like you have to pay money to go watch these dogs herd their sheep, don't they have to herd the sheep anyway?

Speaker 1 12:16

I feel like that is a much more ethical and entertaining option to bullfighting.

Speaker 2 12:22

It's kind of the same thing, right.

Speaker 1 12:24

Except with the sheep herding. You're watching all this motion and this action and A equals B and all this stuff and no one's getting hurt.

Speaker 2 12:31

Right.

Speaker 1 12:31

I think that would be very fascinating.

Speaker 2 12:33

Oh, I do too, I'm just saying, but they charge admission to watch something that was already happening anyway.

Speaker 1 12:38

Yeah, that's called capitalism, my friend Scotland. Yes, they have capitalism in Scotland.

Speaker 2 12:48

It's like if we went to Krispy Kreme and you know how they have the window where you can watch the donuts being made, but we had to pay them to watch the donuts being made on top of paying for our donuts. That's basically what that is.

Speaker 1 12:55

I see that wouldn't be a draw to me. It's like we were at a place yesterday, at a pizza place, a local pizza place and you saw a painting on the wall and you said, is that an $800 painting?

Speaker 2 13:06

And my answer was not yet I mean it had an $800 price tag on it.

Teaching Stuff to Our Kids

Speaker 1 13:11

It's not an $800 painting until someone pays that for it. That's right. Anyway, let's move on to our main topic teaching stuff to our kids.

Speaker 2 13:23

Yes, so we are teaching Winthrop how to ride a bike. So neither one of our younger kids know how to ride a bike. The 18-year-old doesn't and the 8-year-old doesn't, and I don't know if it's just a function of they just were never interested, at least with the 18-year-old. I know that she and I moved out from marriage 1.0 when she was four, so we lived in an apartment until you and I got married when she was eight, so there was no place really for her to ride a bike, so it wasn't something that I I did, and then by then I don't know that she was super interested in it, winthrop, we just never did. I don't know why. Why didn't we?

Speaker 1 14:09

I don't think we're ever the type of parents to send our kids outside without us.

Speaker 2 14:13

Well, I'm not saying that they should go without us?

Speaker 1 14:15

No, but I mean. That's why I learned how to ride a bike in the 80s.

Speaker 2 14:18

Your dad was like you got to learn how to ride a bike so you can get out of here you can get out of here.

Speaker 1 14:24

No, he was like get out of here, I don't want you to to come back in the house until nightfall, type of thing, yeah, on saturdays and sundays. And I was like well, my friends ride bikes and so I want to ride a bike.

Speaker 1 14:31

And so a lot of it for me was well, my friends ride bikes yeah and then also it's like I don't want to walk to the woods where they keep the porno mags, so I I want a bike type of thing still, every time you say it, I am flabbergasted at the fact that there were nudie mags in in the woods.

Speaker 2 14:49

But okay, I don't. I don't remember learning to ride a bike. I didn't have friends in the neighborhood that rode bikes. That was just really me and my nephew and who's like seven years younger than me, and so we basically grew up together we rode bikes. But I think I just I just think I just went out riding on my bike like by myself, cause it was the eighties and why not, but I think I had training wheels for a really long time until I was probably like nine or something.

Speaker 2 15:13

And you started when I don't know, like five, six, something like that.

Speaker 1 15:17

Did you ever have someone try to teach you? Or you're just like I'm going to go do this until I get it.

Speaker 2 15:21

Listen, this is what teaching me was like.

Speaker 1 15:24

Do you know?

Speaker 2 15:25

how I learned how to swim.

Speaker 1 15:27

Yes, I do.

Speaker 2 15:28

They just threw you in and said swim right, like I thought my brother was jumping in with me. One brother was at one end of the pool, one brother was at the other end and the brother behind me said jump in, I'm coming with you. And I jumped because I trusted my brothers. And guess what? No one came with me and they're like now swim. This is how people taught me things. So I don't know that anybody taught me how to ride a bike. They were just like here's a bike. Figure that nonsense out which I almost kind of wanted to do with Renthrope today. I'm like maybe if we just leave him here by himself, he will work through this. He wants to know how to ride a bike. He's in summer camp and they're now having bike and scooter time, which we love, and he's got his scooter there, but he's always just ridden road.

Speaker 1 16:11

This is why he doesn't has ridden upon Right. We can't even conjugate this mess. No wonder he can't do this in this family.

Speaker 2 16:18

He has traveled primarily by scooter.

Speaker 1 16:20

Ridden.

Speaker 2 16:21

He has ridden a scooter, he's primarily ridden a scooter, and we asked him if he wanted a bike and he was like no, I just like my scooter. But now, because his best friends have bikes, he wants to ride a bike.

Speaker 1 16:31

Now, if he had friends in the neighborhood, then I think that the motivation would be a lot more and it would have been earlier. As it is, it's just the friends at school and he's going to take his, his bike to school, ostensibly, and just use it there.

Speaker 1 16:45

I don't know but I'm trying to remember if the two older boys I don't think they ever really learned how to ride a bike either. Bike riding was never a thing for me in my neighborhood because when the boys the two older ones were born in the early two thousands, we also didn't let them wander by themselves because we lived in Miami and it was not a thing we were going to do. We weren't comfortable doing it and I didn't really have a bike, so that wouldn't have worked.

Speaker 2 17:15

But they know how to ride a bike.

Speaker 1 17:17

I don't think that Andrew knows how to ride a bike.

Speaker 2 17:19

No, because Andrew wanted the bike that's in the garage.

Speaker 1 17:21

Right, but I don't think he knows how to ride it.

Speaker 2 17:23

He wanted the bike, that's in the garage right, but I don't think he knows how to ride it he just wanted it, I think.

Speaker 1 17:25

So there's the same with windsor if we just bought him a bike, he doesn't know how to ride the damn thing. What can go hand in hand with this conversation, though? Two milestones that I see as kids, things that your parents teach you bike riding and swimming yes so the two older boys again.

Speaker 1 17:42

We grew up in miami and we always had a pool so they could swim from. Basically, when they popped out, they've always swum, and so that wasn't even really a thing that I had to teach them. We just had them in the pool and be like okay, now do this and that. Now, with Winthrop, we took him to swimming lessons, which was not a thing that I had growing up.

Speaker 2 18:03

No see, I mean we've already established that I was thrown in a pool and said survive.

Speaker 1 18:09

And then you hate the water now, don't you? Well?

Speaker 2 18:11

I hate the water because I was stung by a jellyfish when I was eight and I'm all over that now. But when Muffy was little we lived in a neighborhood with a pool, and so we took her to swim lessons at like two and three oh, wow so she got swim lessons really early and she can swim, she can survive. She's always that she's not a very strong swimmer. Well, me neither, but like she, she can swim like a beast.

Speaker 2 18:33

He is a really strong swimmer, but we didn't do swim lessons with him at that age because it was during covid he was three when we went in a lockdown and then five or six when we came.

Speaker 2 18:45

You know when everything started like really opening back up and we wanted to get him swim lessons but he couldn't swim and if we put him in the beginning classes he was going to be with little tiny kids. So I was fortunate that I had a former colleague who was a swim teacher and would do lessons at her home. So we just paid for private lessons and it really only took maybe four or five lessons and then he was a swimmer.

Speaker 1 19:09

Is it that it's just a fact, at least with our kids, that other people are more effective in teaching them stuff than we are?

Speaker 2 19:17

A hundred percent. But it's not just our kids, I mean. I hear that from families all the time, teaching like why will they do this for you but they won't do it for me? And it's like well, I mean because you are the place where they can, you're the safe space, although it doesn't feel great because they'll yell at you and whine at you and whatever. I was trying to teach Muffy how to read when she was I don't know like in kindergarten, she'd get so mad at me and she'd throw the book at me and like stop, mom. And I was talking to the principal at our school and she was like you just need to be mom. Like stop turning a teacher, let somebody else do that, just be mom.

Speaker 1 19:50

And you think that this is the way it's been like throughout history. I mean, I don't. Like way back in the caveman days they're like I'm trying to teach this kid how to make this fucking fire, but he's not going to do it, so send him to Og over there in the next cave over to learn how to ride a mammoth and make fire.

Speaker 2 20:06

Well, and I used to get so frustrated with Winthrop when he was working through math because I taught first grade math and so I tried to work with him on it, and so the way they teach math now makes a whole lot of sense. We weren't taught that way, but it's a lot of reasoning and a lot of thinking in different ways, and he was not here for me trying to help him with homework and I was like dude, I have a degree in this.

Speaker 1 20:28

Like this. You don't know, but this is what I do.

Speaker 2 20:30

Like it's what I do with my whole damn life. You are gonna listen. I'm like you don't teach kids anymore. You teach teachers. I'm like right, but I still remember. So I don't know. He wasn't hearing it, we didn't I. We didn't teach muffy how to ride a ride a car. We didn't teach her how to drive a car.

Speaker 1 20:44

We paid for driving lessons no, but you would take her driving, though that's different she would practice.

Speaker 2 20:48

But like I mean, I needed to not be there because I was stressed about it and then I'd stress her out. So she did better with people. I actually thought today, while we were watching him trying to do this bike, who can we send him to?

Speaker 1 21:02

I don't know that they have bike lessons in the same way they have swim lessons.

Speaker 2 21:06

Somebody, somebody has got to teach us. So we I did a little research and what he really needs is to learn his balance first. So I have a colleague who's got a a balance bike. If you don't know what a balance bike is, it's basically a bike with thicker tires and no pedals where they just imagine if the flintstones had invented bikes it would be this balance bike, no pedals, and you're just yabba dabba doing along yes, so we are getting the balance bike and gonna start there.

Speaker 2 21:31

I don't know how muffie's gonna learn to ride a bike. Her thing is like I'm going to college and I can't ride a bike. So I mean, you know, like if I go to Europe on vacation, how am I going to get around town?

Speaker 1 21:41

See, now I'm trying to remember back, and who taught me the stuff that I know? Like this my neighbors taught me how to ride a bike and swim, right, so that wasn't my dad, of course. My dad wasn't going to teach me shit. He. The only thing he taught me was how to write a check. Um, I went to driving school for to learn how to drive a car. Yeah, I guess. I guess I need to not be so annoyed that he is not open to any sort of instruction, but then now that just doesn't seem right, though it seems like it's our job as parents to teach them stuff.

Speaker 2 22:12

Right. So I am much more patient with him than I was with Buffy, Because I'm older, I've had a lot more experience and I am much more patient with him. I think that you've regressed a little bit since the boys were little and so you're relearning your patience. I mean, you're trying, You're really, really trying.

Speaker 1 22:31

But today you said Ow, ow, what.

Speaker 2 22:38

Ow that trying, but today you ow ow, what ow that hurts. Ow, what have you just done? Today, you said to me I'm allowed to be annoyed because you're having to do something.

Speaker 1 22:41

It's like you are, but you need to just I'm allowed to be annoyed because I was just trying to tell him that when you're trying to balance on the bike, you need to to move the, the um, I almost said steering wheel, the handlebars, back and forth a little bit to steady yourself. I said here, let me, um, let me get on and let me show you. And he's like, no, I don't want to see it. I'm like, well, we're at an impasse now I don't know what to do. We need to call in the un to negotiate this, because that's a ridiculous point of view to have you were so funny.

Speaker 2 23:11

I'm allowed to be annoyed, like I know, but like, don't be annoyed like out loud. You're allowed to be annoyed, like I know, but like, don't be annoyed like out loud. You're allowed to be annoyed, just not out loud.

Speaker 1 23:18

Well, this is why I think we need to get to know our neighbors better. You know, this quest that we have to try to break through and make the people around us like us is because then we'll have access to other parents that can teach our kids stuff, and then we can teach their kids stuff. All right, yeah, right, yeah, yeah, okay. I mean, that's the way it should be, that's the way it used to be, right neighborhoods of people, families getting together, and that's probably how it is in a lot of places. Just not that way around here, or at least not that way in any place that I've lived with you you just made it sound like that's my fault.

Speaker 2 23:53

first of all, the first place that we lived in when we got married we lived on like three acres and the only thing that visited were the deers and the really nosy next door neighbor lady who drove you nuts. So I mean that wasn't me. And then we moved.

Speaker 1 24:08

RIP.

Speaker 2 24:09

And raise a glass. Then we moved here during quarantine and there was nobody around us. We don't have neighbors on either side of us. One house is being used as an Airbnb. The other side is not finished, so we don't have neighbors.

Speaker 1 24:21

We have neighbors behind us, we have several families live behind us. They formed a little group that we cannot penetrate. We can't.

Speaker 2 24:29

But have you seen they do? Just let their children out and the children just ride around the neighborhood without any adult supervision right, but is that?

Speaker 1 24:37

I mean that's the way we were and look how we turned out like? Is that that's fine?

Speaker 2 24:42

how much therapy do you both, you and I need?

Speaker 1 24:44

but I'm talking about my shit has nothing to do with the fact that I rode bikes on saturday um, I'm more concerned about like not looking for cars like that.

Speaker 2 24:54

There's not a whole lot of traffic in our neighborhood but when there is, people drive through here like they really need to pee pee in their pants or something because they drive really fast. So I don't know I, do you want me to go next to back door neighbor and knock on the door and say I need someone to teach my kid how to ride a bike? Can we be friends?

Speaker 1 25:12

I mean, I'd probably start with hey, would you like to come over for dinner? But that would be the goal.

Speaker 2 25:17

Okay.

Speaker 1 25:17

Is that we can farm out some of this stuff to younger parents.

Speaker 2 25:21

Well, his best friend knows how to ride a bike, and his best friend's mom and I chat and we've been talking about doing a play date, so maybe I actually need to be like hey, listen, this is my deal. What do you want me to teach your kid? We'll do some sort of trade-off.

Speaker 1 25:34

You're bartering, yeah.

Speaker 2 25:36

I'll teach your kid this if you teach my kid how to ride a bike, and his friend can ride a bike, so it's positive peer pressure.

Speaker 1 25:42

So have we determined, then, that the way to do this is to not do it? I feel like that's the answer. Is the way to teach our kids stuff is to find someone to teach our kids stuff Well is to find someone to teach our kids stuff.

Speaker 2 25:54

Well, I think, with him and this bike, what's going to happen is we're just going to have to slowly start with the balance bike and get him really comfortable with it. I think he's going to be able. He's going to really wind up teaching himself, because he's so freaking stubborn and doesn't want to hear from us. And the problem is that he's going to be nine and he's just not trying. You know, if you're like four or five, you're a little bit more like my parents know what they're talking about and they're also not as afraid Well, he didn't at four or five, but I mean like most kids, but and they're also not as afraid to fall, right, he's now much more aware of what happens if he falls.

Speaker 2 26:25

So, but I mean, if you notice, today he fell off the bike a couple of times and laid in the grass crying and said he couldn't pick the bike up because it was too heavy. And I said, okay, well, we'll just be here. We are here until you get up, like, okay, take all the time you need. And he eventually got up and did it right. So I think it's the not fighting with him, the not. You know, god forbid. Don't you show him how those handlebars work?

Speaker 1 26:49

That's right.

Speaker 2 26:51

I think you and I need to be near. It's like when a toddler is having a tantrum. The advice from all of the behavior experts and I know that it works is that you don't engage with them. You sit near them Because if you try to engage with them they are in lizard brain, right Like they are operating from the base of their brain what that's called.

Speaker 1 27:16

A mygdala.

Speaker 2 27:17

Yeah, and they're in fight or flight. They can't process and you can't reason with the toddler anyway. But what you're supposed to do is sit near them so that you make sure that they are safe, they're not hurting anybody else, and you just let them burn out, and they will eventually come over and look for some sort of solace or co-regulation from you. This is what we're going to have to do with the bike. We just need to be near him, but let him work it out on his own.

Speaker 1 27:45

Can I bring my headphones?

Speaker 2 27:47

Yes, your headphones and your Negroni Go ahead.

Emails From Leo and Jeff

Speaker 1 27:49

Excellent, I'm down All right. Well, hopefully this was helpful to you. How did you teach your kids how to ride a bike or swim? Familiarwilsons at gmailcom is our email address. Please do let us know Email. We have emails If you'd like to reach out to us. As I said, our email address is familiarwilsons at gmailcom and we are thrilled to receive your emails. Let's hear what Leo has to say first.

Speaker 2 28:21

Hi friend Leo.

Speaker 1 28:23

Leo says hey, wilsons, not sure who wrote to you about your welcome, but they are my long-lost kin. I too have always questioned why we say you're welcome. Like you, josh, I've always felt thank you was pretty much final. I rarely say you're welcome, but instead have most always replied no problem, meaning simply that it's no burden for me. Thank you, leo. I agree with you.

Speaker 2 28:43

It's rare that Leo validates you. Usually he validates me.

Speaker 1 28:47

I don't know that that's so. Leo continues. He says for the love of God, coffee mugs so many. Over the years I've had to break the habit of purchasing coffee mugs whenever we travel. Very good, you know. What I started to try to do, by the way, was shot glasses.

Speaker 2 29:03

Yeah, but you don't drink shots.

Speaker 1 29:05

No, I mean you use shot glasses to put the gin in the Negroni.

Speaker 2 29:08

Okay.

Speaker 1 29:09

But anyway, I gave that up, because usually they don't end up looking cool because usually they don't end up looking cool.

Speaker 2 29:14

You have like three, yeah, yeah, anyway, he goes on. One of them has a marijuana leaf on it that you got at Cedar Key. It's so strange.

Speaker 1 29:18

Does it really? Yes, I don't remember that.

Speaker 2 29:22

It was the odd. You went into a store and came back with it. I was very confused.

Speaker 1 29:30

Okay, don't remember that, that ain't me Okay. Hoodies or sweatshirts, At least they're more practical and once I've outgrown their usefulness, they make great garage rags.

Speaker 2 29:43

Leo, I'm assuming that you mean hoodies, sweatshirts that have like a logo or like the name of the place that you're at.

Speaker 1 29:47

No, just plain ones. He'll go into a Walmart in Port St Lucie and get a plain white shirt.

Speaker 2 30:03

First of all, why'd you, why'd you pull port st lucie out? That's like a deep cut in the florida geography, but the other no. I do this, I will. When I'm traveling, I will look for an article of clothing that I really like, and then I remember like I bought a sweater with rachel when I was in London at H&M and now that's my like.

Speaker 2 30:17

When we I took the kids to Stratford-upon-Avon there was an M&S there and I got like a white billowy, like poet shirt that's my Shakespeare shirt. I was down in West Palm at an H&M and bought a black shirt. But every time I wear it and I love the shirt, I think about when I was in West Palm for that teacher professional learning. So I will buy items of clothing but then I attach it to that experience.

Speaker 1 30:40

It's a little suspicious that every place we've ever gone happens to have an H&M. I don't know what's happening there, but Stratford-upon-Avon had an M&S not an H&M. Whatever he says, I also felt that TLDR is one of the dumbest insults to date. Too long, didn't read. I've had people comment such things on posts of mine in the past, to which I've replied. No one asked if you're able to read anything longer than four words at a time.

Speaker 2 31:05

No one invited you and or needed you to read this. Like no, Did we talk about TLDR?

Speaker 1 31:10

We did, we did, we did. It's like going into a library and getting every book in and writing too long, didn't read on the inside cover. In my opinion, using that as an insult over a paragraph says much more about that person than it does about the person who wrote the paragraph Of course.

Speaker 1 31:25

And it illustrates the stark reality that far too many people in society have the attention span of gnats. He concludes by saying Josh, I've also grown to choke down beetroot. In the process, I've made a mental note to self whenever something is described as having an earthy flavor, it means it tastes like dirt.

Speaker 2 31:45

Yes, and beet juice tastes like dirt juice.

Speaker 1 31:48

And Leo ends with finally, why didn't you tell me I left Miami?

Speaker 2 31:55

Update the friends who didn't listen to last week.

Speaker 1 31:58

Yeah, you're going to have to listen to last week for that punchline. But very good, leo, thank you. And happily we have an email from Jeff. So here's some refined gay thoughts from refined gay Jeff.

Speaker 2 32:12

Happy Pride Jeff.

Speaker 1 32:13

Well, he starts with saying Happy Pride Wilsons.

Speaker 2 32:15

I didn't know, but thanks.

Speaker 1 32:16

Today, there are a myriad pride parades and celebrations scheduled across the nation, and Houston is no different. I started today's Pride with having lunch with two of my favorite homosexuals, Daniel and Shane. We went to a really nice sushi place and had all-you-can-eat lunch. I've never had all-you-can-eat sushi before. I didn't know that that was a thing.

Speaker 2 32:35

You don't like all you can eat things, period, because you say they take too long, intentionally to keep you from eating the things.

Speaker 1 32:41

Well, I mean, that's my experience with the rib place down the street where they'll bring you three, you'll eat those. And then they'll bring you two, you'll eat those.

Speaker 2 32:50

They'll get you one.

Speaker 1 32:52

Yeah, it's kind of ridiculous. I was thinking of how long they would let you sit there and eat, Because I know that they probably have some sort of restriction so that they come out on top right. So it's probably like okay, after an hour you got to go, whereas as long as I can have a full rack then I'm pretty satisfied. But how long are we stretching that out to where it's not even fun anymore?

Speaker 2 33:16

Right, it has nothing to do with Jeff. Zero to do with. I hope the sushi was good.

Speaker 1 33:20

Zero to do with. So Jeff talks about how he spent his day, including a nap in there.

Speaker 2 33:27

He says- Wait, you napped in the sushi restaurant.

Speaker 1 33:30

No, he went home and napped. He got a nap in his day.

Speaker 2 33:37

You said a nap in there. I thought Jeff was working the system of the all you can eat.

Speaker 1 33:39

I think that if there's a nap in there they might kick you out. He says the Houston Pride Parade is always at night, as, josh you will remember. It just helps keeping the temps down in this oppressive Texas sun. He says the parade also moved downtown many years ago and that's where my attendance stopped, With past attendance crowds of 850,000 people.

Speaker 2 34:01

I want the option of a quick exit.

Speaker 1 34:03

Damn. So that is a lot of people. Amanda, a couple weeks ago you mentioned the restaurant Ryan's. My family went weekly. I was a fan of their salad bar. My family was really close to this other family that actually started Ryan's.

Speaker 2 34:15

Oh really.

Speaker 1 34:16

Our friend Greg and his wife Bobbi actually came to us to see if we're interested in investing and providing seed money for the organization. Alas, it was many thousands of dollars and my parents just didn't have that kind of cash thing around, so we had to pass.

Speaker 2 34:30

Greg and Bobbi and their family went on to obviously make untold millions of dollars with the success of this restaurant, the loaded baked potatoes and that salad bar and the Hawaiian chicken and a petite sirloin.

Speaker 1 34:42

As you know, jeff is in the educational industry. He says I have thoughts about your 51 coffee cups. I also went through a stretch in my teaching career where coffee cups were accumulating faster than mock Jesus. I had to make the decision to simply get rid of them.

Speaker 2 34:59

I mean, we've already gotten rid of a lot, friend.

Speaker 1 35:02

I know, but this is what he's done. He says currently I have six, Four of them he bought at Crate and Barrel that are clear glass cafe mugs that are pretty generic.

Speaker 2 35:11

I have those. I like them.

Speaker 1 35:12

The other two I have are my favorite ones I kept. One is a beautiful forest moss flat green mug that says Acadian National Park on it. I got it on a trip there because I'd never seen that color before and it spoke to me. The other is a large-ish red and black buffalo plaid mug that I found several years ago. We both know about his obsession with buffalo plaid and it brings him comfort. He uses that in fall and winter for the obvious connection yes, absolutely.

Speaker 1 35:38

He says there's other things that I do collect and I'd like to hear other things that folks collect.

Speaker 2 35:43

Yeah, that's interesting.

Speaker 1 35:44

Email us at familiarwilsons at gmailcom with your collections. He likes to collect dinnerware, as do you.

Speaker 2 35:50

Apparently I do that's all I have to say, just my heavy sigh. Please talk about Jeff's dinnerware. You won't give him a hard time. I like my dinnerware, hush.

Speaker 1 36:01

He says I commissioned my favorite North Carolina potter, bill Stewart, to make me a full set of dinnerware about 40 years ago which I still use to this day. Now, that's cool.

Speaker 2 36:09

That is cool.

Speaker 1 36:10

That's handmade, that is specific to him.

Speaker 2 36:19

That's a thing that you pass on. You're just mad because the plates that I have a lot of in the cabinet are from Marriage 1.0.

Speaker 1 36:22

I hadn't thought about that.

Speaker 2 36:24

But I love them and got them in the end of Marriage 1.0.

Speaker 1 36:28

Yeah, another complete set of dinnerware that I have is from Thailand.

Speaker 2 36:34

That's cool.

Speaker 1 36:35

I love the white plate with blue tie design along the edge. So he has about 12 of those plates. Sauce trays, really cool, smaller raised plates. It sounds like a full set that he has.

Speaker 2 36:44

I have a full set from Japan when I went, jeff, and it's blue and white as well. So I love all of our dishes that are real. Actual ceramic dishes are all blue and white as well.

Speaker 1 36:55

He says. I usually pick up one or two when I'm in Western North Carolina where the potters are prolific. Seven Sisters Gallery in Black. Mountain and New Morning Gallery in Asheville are my two favorite places.

Speaker 2 37:06

I know Seven Sisters. I'm just agreeing with him I know Seven Sisters.

Speaker 1 37:09

A few years ago I was in Japan and Richmond, our mutual friend, took me to the pottery village Mashiko, a little more than two hours north of Tokyo. It's famous for its pottery, called Mashiko ware. That makes sense. I was happier than if the coyote caught the roadrunner. Dozens and dozens of pottery stores with their kilns right out back In one store. We went in. The owner spoke English and correctly surmised that we were American, but was pleasantly surprised when Richmond told her that he had been living in Japan for 30 years. Come to find out she knew where North Carolina was and even Black Mountain because she took pottery chips every year to keep abreast of what's going on in the pottery world. I could not believe it when she said she had been to Seven Sisters in Black Mountain many times as a favorite place.

Speaker 2 37:54

That's amazing. The world is a small place.

Speaker 1 37:58

Yeah. So there you go. What else do you all collect? That's what I want to know, he says. I also have a completely filled bookcase of books from the past 40 years. They range from my favorite authors to gardening books, to travel books, to coffee table books, to biographies, to cookbooks, to some prized autograph books by some really cool authors, some with really cool personal messages. Several years ago, though, I came to the realization that I didn't need to buy any more books, because I'm a freaking librarian and I have 15 000 books at work every day too long didn't read oh what I'm saying all of the books in the library.

Speaker 1 38:32

That's what you said, not you, jeff so the only books that he continues to buy are autograph books. That that's cool. I get that. I can see that that would be cool.

Speaker 2 38:40

The only autographed books I have are cookbooks.

Speaker 1 38:43

I can sign some books for you.

Speaker 2 38:46

Okay.

Speaker 1 38:48

Thanks. He talks about this issue of bless you when you sneeze. That's a social custom that is carried over from the Middle Ages, depending on which folklore you want to believe. Originally, it was thought back then that the soul left the body when you sneezed, and saying bless you was a way to counteract this.

Speaker 2 39:05

That's like shoved it back in.

Speaker 1 39:07

Yeah, apparently, or God shoves it back in. The popular Gesundheit in Germany simply means health, I believe. So it's just a way of acknowledging someone wishing you good health. Of course, monique from Germany would be able to clarify it. If it really does mean health, the same goes for salute in spanish, meaning health. Amanda, I did not know the thing about my pleasure being from chick-fil-a simply because I do not go to chick-fil-a. Let me be the first to say here on this pride day that I do not support their views against the LGBTQ community or eat their hate chicken any longer.

Speaker 2 39:41

So, jeff, this is an ongoing debate in this house where we all do not want to support Chick-fil-A, and Josh takes a very firm stance in it. It's difficult because the only chicken our children like to eat are either popcorn, chicken from Publix or Chick-fil-A nuggets. We think of, like I have a really good friend whose whose son is is openly gay and he's still eats Chick-fil-A, and his reasoning is that it is a franchise, locally owned, that he's supporting locally owned business. But I get it. I mean, I get it, I get it. And Josh draws a really hard line. Sometimes we do, but it feels icky.

Speaker 1 40:19

Jeff also has thoughts on people who say too long didn't read.

Speaker 2 40:24

Like I just said about your library, sorry.

Speaker 1 40:27

This has become the mainstay of ignorant people that want to ban books. They'll be the first to jump on the bandwagon of banning specific books without having actually read the book as a librarian. It infuriates me to see this happening with more repetition these days. It's getting absolutely ridiculous. The latest ones being banned I've heard that really take the cake are the DK or Dorling Kindersley.

Speaker 2 40:50

Really.

Speaker 1 40:51

Amanda is probably familiar with DK books.

Speaker 2 40:54

Yeah, shockingly. This is why it surprises me.

Speaker 1 40:56

They are a British publishing company of very, very fun and easy to understand reference books for adults and children, and the latest to ban them is a county in Tennessee that wants to ban the complete book of cats and the complete book of dogs. Please make it make sense.

Speaker 2 41:11

Why? What is in the books of cats and dogs? I can understand if it's like understanding your body, Like I'm not saying I agree with it, but I could see where there may be. Like I don't want you to teach my child about their body, but dogs and cats- yeah, I don't know. With their past, dk space books.

Speaker 1 41:28

Okay.

Speaker 2 41:29

They're cool. Dk is super cool. Yeah well, unless you're trying to read it to a kid at bedtime and then it's got way too many words in it.

Recommendations and Sign-Off

Speaker 1 41:35

I feel like I need to end with something to lighten the mood. So he has a question that Yacht Rock gives him. He says we all know that Brandy wears a braided chain made of finest silver from the north of Spain, a locket that bears the name of a man that Brandy loved. My question is this, and we will never know the answer what was his name? Familiarwilsons at gmailcom, if you know the answer to that eternal and universal question. Thanks Jeff, thanks Leo, and again, if you want to get in touch with us, familiarwilsons at gmailcom. They say in advertising you should repeat something seven times before people remember it. I think that this is probably around six. So far this episode. No one likes to be told what to do, and now is the time in the program where we tell you what to do, amanda. What should we do?

Speaker 2 42:30

We should all get very excited because, coming this fall, steve Burns is starting a podcast. Do you know who Steve Burns is starting a podcast? Do you know who Steve Burns?

Speaker 1 42:39

is. I know who Steve Burns is. I know that he's starting a podcast. Why?

Speaker 2 42:43

are you sounding so sad? I'm so excited. You know, because I sent it to you. I sent the TikTok to you because I'm so excited about it. Okay, If you don't know who Steve Burns is, Steve Burns is the original Steve from Blue's Clues and while he was the one talking to the millennials when they were kids, I got super into Blue's Clues when Muffy was little. She was really into it and when I was going through a really difficult period of time it was incredibly comforting to just sit there with her and watch these things and have it on. Steve went away and then Joe came right, Like Steve went away to college or whatever and Steve was gone. Lots of speculation Did Steve die? Did Steve go bald? Is that why he left? Yes, Steve went bald. We don't know. That's why he left. He wears a hat all the time now.

Speaker 1 43:27

I thought that Steve left because he wanted to be a rock star Legit. I thought he wanted to go be in a band.

Speaker 2 43:31

Maybe he did who than Blippi, that's all that matters. He now, after COVID, started doing social media posts where just talking to the kids like how are you doing? But the grown-up kids, right, how are you doing? It just made everybody feel so seen and so comforted. It's kind of like Mr Rogers, but what I love is that on his bio on his socials is I'm not Mr Rogers, so he's just like I'm not Please stop calling me that. But he's starting a podcast called Alive with the Lemonada, I think, network and his whole thing is like let's just have a conversation, let's just talk about when he was doing Blue's Clues. It was all learning about letters and shapes and numbers and vegetables and all this stuffues. It was all learning about letters and shapes and numbers and vegetables and all this stuff. And now it's like we're adults and we're trying to navigate sexism, racism, you know, political issues and wars in the world and we still need support. Adults still need support and that's the idea of it. It's just navigating all these things of what it means to be alive.

Speaker 2 44:38

I will probably listen, but I'm annoyed that there's yet another podcast that will take attention away from my podcast that's all I'm saying to you Well, if you get yourself a cardigan and start singing about your neighborhood, maybe people will find you comforting.

Speaker 1 44:50

I'm going to sing about the gayborhood me and Jeff. Okay, I recommend that you go and you find this account, this social media account called Fesshole. I like to read from it occasionally on this podcast, but feel free to go and find it and read things on your own and enjoy it, Like this one, Amanda how about this? Ghosted by boyfriend of two years?

Speaker 2 45:12

Oh.

Speaker 1 45:13

Been texting him as someone else for the last six months. I'm about to ghost him the cheating bastard.

Speaker 2 45:18

Oh yeah, I cheating bastard.

Speaker 1 45:19

Oh yeah, I like that. The people in the comments the ones who seem to be the lads are saying you're pretty unhinged, what a waste of time and effort. And the other people are really enjoying it, and I really enjoy it too. So there you go.

Speaker 2 45:34

Good on you.

Speaker 1 45:35

The comments are very interesting. So, anyway, check out Fess Hole, You'll enjoy it. Also, I recommend that you check out Chicken Tom's podcast, In-Law and the Out-Law. It is a suburban father-in-law and a country son-in-law and they just like to talk a little shit and it's fun to listen to. All right, Amanda, that's all there is. There is no more. What'd you think about that mess?

Speaker 2 46:04

I mean the same, as I always think about it. It's a mess, but we're happy to connect and please connect back with us.

Speaker 1 46:10

This episode of Super Familiar with the Wilsons was made possible by Antonio for patching the bike tires with chewing gum and sheer confidence. Josh Scar for the synchronized swimming choreography that no one asked for. Daniel James Buckets for doing wheelies directly into the deep end. Chicken Tom for trying to teach the fish how to ride a Schwinn. Monique from Germany for shouting Das ist nicht safe right after every glorious disaster. Joey, joey.

Speaker 2 46:39

Joey.

Speaker 1 46:40

Matt for bringing snacks and for getting the breaks. Leo for the whispered rumors that the lifeguard is actually a ghost Refined. Gay, jeff for the elegant breaststroke with a glass of rosé in hand. Mark and Rachel for the tandem bike that leads directly into the abyss. And Dan and Gavin for the motivational poster that simply reads pedal or shut up.

Speaker 2 47:02

I'm laughing right now because we have a group chat on WhatsApp with Dan and Gavin, and you and Dan have just been in hinge today and I I have said to you that I'm I have many questions for both of you, but I've decided and said I'm solely going to engage with Gavin. I'm not talking to either one of you anymore. And Gavin's response was why does it feel like if I'm not paying attention, I come back to chaos?

Speaker 1 47:24

yeah, yes, sir, that's. Let me get a t-shirt that says that, because that's the world right now. All right, y'all, until next week. Make sure to hold your nose before you jump in the water and always wear a bike helmet go be kind. Bye, bye, thank you.