Super Familiar with The Wilsons
Marriage 2.0 with kids…and all the side quests!
Super Familiar with the Wilsons is a weekly comedy podcast about second marriage blended family life, and the beautiful chaos of parenting, aging, and figuring it all out (again). Hosted by Amanda and Josh, partners in life, love, and side quests, each episode dives into real-life stories, quirky observations, listener emails, and spontaneous tangents that somehow always circle back to relationships, resilience, and the absurdity of modern life.
Whether you’re navigating your own second act, raising kids who don’t want your help, or just wondering why birds seem to aim for your head, you’ll find humor, honesty, and heart here. Expect: offbeat storytelling, second-marriage dynamics, parenting fails, philosophical detours, and new friends you didn’t know you needed.
Familiar Wilsons Media produces content to bring people together. We are curious, hopeful, and try not to take ourselves too seriously...admittedly, with varying degrees of success.
Super Familiar with The Wilsons
Find us on instagram at instagram.com/superfamiliarwiththewilsons
and on Youtube
Contact us! familiarwilsons@gmail.com
Super Familiar with The Wilsons
Wind Your Neck In, You Cranky Dog
A mini-episode amoungst many changes...
Talking Points:
• Josh recovering
• Post-pandemic shift
• Historical terminology
• Wind Your Neck In
• Goblin Tools
Super Familiar with The Wilsons
Find us on instagram at instagram.com/superfamiliarwiththewilsons
and on Youtube
Contact us! familiarwilsons@gmail.com
Familiar Wilson's Media Relationships are the story. You are made of meat, my friend, all the way down. The following podcast uses words like and and also If you're not into any of that shit, then now's your chance. Three, two, one run. I'm super familiar with you, wilson. Get it Welcome to Super Familiar with the Wilsons. I'm Josh or maybe I should call this little intro Super Familiar with the Wilson, because it's just me.
Speaker 1:Today, as you can tell from my voice, I am recovering from being sick, been sick for about two and a half weeks now. That's why we missed our episode last week. I just wasn't up for it. And beyond that, we're bundling up Muffy and sending her off to college. I say sending her off to college. She's going down the road but still going to be an adjustment for us, and our house does kind of look like we've taken all the things and thrown them on the floor. So that's fun.
Speaker 1:I do have to say that being sick now, post-pandemic, is so much different than being sick before. I remember when I was a kid I'd wake up and I had really bad allergies and if I, you know, was having allergic reaction, I'd say I'm sick. Or if I caught a cold, I'd be I have a cold, I'm sick, or anything that had a fever. I'd be like, oh, I have the flu, I'm sick. And then you rest for a couple days, you drink a lot of water and then bada-bing, bada-boom, you're done with it. Now, if we don't know exactly what we have, we freak out, or at least I do. I don't freak out, but I feel the need to know what kind of virus I have when I'm sick and what the decimal points and letters are behind it. Or else it's just a mystery that I can't deal with and I can't handle. And this is what the pandemic has done to us. If I can't say that I've got flu HWQ.7, then I feel like I'm negligent in diagnosing myself. So I can take care of myself.
Speaker 1:I'm quite certain that when we were kids we were catching all of these exotic diseases and we didn't even know it. We didn't give a damn. We're just like, oh, I'm sick, give me the crackers and the Gatorade and I'll be okay. I don't think I prefer it the way it is now, anyway. So this weekend we are sending Muffy off to college, and I've done this with two boys, my two older sons. Totally different doing it with a daughter.
Speaker 1:It's all of the complications of wedding planning, with less cake and possibly more crying. I say possibly because it depends on who you're marrying. And here I am with all the energy of a boiled noodle. But we'll get through it. We'll get through it and we will tell you all about it next week, assuming that Amanda can keep it all together. Also, we'll share with you next week the continuing drama with our homeowners association slash builder. There have been developments, very exciting, interesting developments, so we'll talk about that as well. So I got a couple of segments here for you in this very much shorter episode, because we didn't want to go two weeks without you knowing who we were. We've got a game time here, and then we've got Amanda recommending this thing that I think might spell the downfall of all human civilization. So do enjoy. What time is it? Game time, game time.
Speaker 2:That song means it's game time, but it's not really a game. I have a little query for josh, but we love that song by acjw and I did it wrong again.
Speaker 1:Why do I do?
Speaker 2:that he even laughed at me because he and I have the same aw, but he ajc, he A-J-C-W man. That's really hard for me. Anyway, we love that song by our son Andrew and so we wanted to play it, but it's not really a game.
Speaker 1:We talked to Andrew last week actually on the podcast.
Speaker 2:And you told him how I never get it right.
Speaker 1:Yeah and then you do that, so wonderful, all right. So this game that's not a game.
Speaker 2:Go. So I'm going to give you a series of words starting from the 1500s and I want to see if you can figure out what these words are referring to. Oh okay, that is a game, I guess kind of. Yeah, but it's not very long, all right. So jewel the 1500s, these are words from the 1500s, okay okay jewel oven pudding fiddle iron plow wait, wait.
Speaker 1:can I not have? No, no, no, no. What's happening right now?
Speaker 2:We're just going to keep going up by centuries until you figure out what category these are in. Don't you love playing the connections game? This is what we're doing.
Speaker 1:Okay, well, you didn't explain any of that. So what you're saying is you're saying a bunch of words and I'm figuring out go back and listen. All right, just start all over again.
Speaker 2:I am starting with the 1500s and we're going to go up to the 2000s.
Speaker 1:And I'm going to give you.
Speaker 2:These words are all words for a certain category. Thank you so we'll see how long it takes you to figure out. In what century would you have cottoned on to what these words were?
Speaker 1:I said cotton caught on. Is that like a southern racist thing? I don't think it is. You're southern.
Speaker 2:I am. I mean, my mom grew up on a cotton farm picking cotton as tenant farmers. Okay, all right. So in the 1500s the words were for this category jewel, oven, pudding, fiddle, iron plow. Got any idea?
Speaker 1:The kitchen okay, 1600s wait a second, aren't you gonna tell me no?
Speaker 2:no, because they're no, it's all the same category up to the 2000s I want to know when you figure out what this category so it's not the kitchen. No, okay, keyhole cauldron garden, hole cauldron garden needle cockatoo sweetmeat.
Speaker 1:At what point do I inform you? This is all starting to sound really dirty.
Speaker 2:I don't know.
Speaker 1:I have no idea. All right, 1700s, is it the garden?
Speaker 2:No 1700s.
Speaker 1:Am I okay wait a second? When I say kitchen and garden, am I getting the idea of category?
Speaker 2:right no mm-mm.
Speaker 1:No, I mean okay.
Speaker 2:You're not okay. 1700s puppy jock, bird bumbo, powwow snatch again really dirty sounding okay, so guess the category porn no all right, 1800s clam tulip old d don't tell me this isn't porn it's not porn. Knob dink schlong dude. But what's a schlong? A thing you're right so it's not porn but these are slang throughout history for genitalia oh so in the 1500s the vagina was jewel oven or pudding right, and then the vagina was jewel oven or pudding.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And then the penis was fiddle, iron or plow.
Speaker 1:Okay, okay.
Speaker 2:And the 1600s the vagina was keyhole, cauldron or garden.
Speaker 1:Okay.
Speaker 2:And the penis was needle, cockatoo and sweetmeat.
Speaker 1:Okay, needle would be a problem for some people.
Speaker 2:Yes, all right. And then in the 1700s, we have snatch, which is where I thought you were going to get it.
Speaker 1:Well, I mean, I did kind of get it.
Speaker 2:I did get it, Actually, when I said porn that's the point at which I got it. I don't understand this one, tao Wow. Tao, wow yeah, bumbo wait, is that's for vagina bumbo?
Speaker 1:okay, I don't I don't like that. I can put my tauow in the bumbo no, no, no.
Speaker 2:Penis in the 1700s was puppy puppy jock or bird puppy yes no, I'm, I don't like that one seven 1800s we got clam, tulip and old ding for the women's parts old ding sounds like what you would call the men's part yes, and then for the men. The men, it's knob, dink and schlong.
Speaker 1:Is this.
Speaker 2:British. No, it just says throughout history it doesn't say what it's specific to, but I mean knob and schlong, are still in use right.
Speaker 1:If you're lucky, yes, all right.
Speaker 2:In the 1900s the female parts were jelly roll Jelly roll, that's not good. Oh, give me some of that jelly roll, oh God. Okay, boogie or wazoo.
Speaker 1:Wazoo up the wazoo. Yes, I guess that's what that means.
Speaker 2:No, and then the male parts were dingbat nards and love pump.
Speaker 1:Well, nards is the testiculus.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but that's what this says. Okay, and then in the 2000s, which I've not heard, any of these. For the female parts, it's Moot, Batcave and Burger.
Speaker 1:Okay, what does that do with the point is Moot?
Speaker 2:Right, right and then Wait. Burger yes.
Speaker 1:No, no, no, no. That would really mess with my burger reviews. I'm going around town right now for this website. I'm starting and I'm doing burger reviews.
Speaker 2:Please don't be reviewing burgers in town.
Speaker 1:Next we're going to review jelly rolls.
Speaker 2:Nope. And then in the 2000s, for the male parts was Jammer, Old Chap and Bonafone.
Speaker 1:Okay, this is British.
Speaker 2:This is British it has to be, but Old chap and bonaphone. Okay, this is British, this is British, it has to be. But this book I mean, I was reading yesterday.
Speaker 2:So a friend of mine got me the book Word Slut for my birthday and it's a feminist guide to taking back the English language, and the point this chapter was making is that all of the words for male genitalia are like intense, like action verbs, like real, like real, like aggressive, and the words for women were real, like, just like a receptacle, like we are. We are less than unless the needle is in or something.
Speaker 1:So I would rather have a jelly roll than a needle let me tell you that right now. It's interesting because I learned a UK phrase um this past week. I'd never heard before, which is surprising to me because I think I've heard a lot of them and that is wind your neck in.
Speaker 2:Oh, what does that mean?
Speaker 1:Oh, that's good. What do you think? Wind your neck in means.
Speaker 2:Is it like don't get your panties in a wad. It means like calm down.
Speaker 1:Yes, it means well. Actually it has two meanings. I've heard it used in the uh context of calm down yeah, you need to. To like, like stop, and you need to consider and think. But also, because I was looking at the etymology of the word, it means like wind your neck in, like don't stick your nose in other people's business type of thing, yeah but I like that one wind your neck in. Yes, I used that work the other day and they looked at me like I was crazy did you explain it it to them?
Speaker 1:No, I don't tend to. I tend to throw phrases in that I learn and I just leave it at that, and I think that I have reached that reputation at work where they're just like okay whatever, it's fine.
Speaker 2:That's just who he is, it's fine.
Speaker 1:Let me, though, ask you if you know what some of these UK slang words?
Speaker 2:mean and you words mean and you should know most of these. I feel like um you know what chuffed means?
Speaker 1:yeah, it means you're really pleased at something. Yeah, yeah. And gutted I've heard like. I mean gutted means you're upset, like I'm gutted that.
Speaker 2:This is why I lost this game snog, it's kiss.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, barmy is that?
Speaker 2:no, brummie is somebody from birmingham. Um, I don't know what barmy means.
Speaker 1:Crazy or foolish.
Speaker 2:Oh, I did know that.
Speaker 1:Minging.
Speaker 2:I have heard this, but I don't. It's not like minge, though I don't know what minging is. No, no, no, no. What is minging?
Speaker 1:That dude is really minging. He's handsome Disgusting or unattractive.
Speaker 2:Okay, all right, got it Skint. That means you don't have any money.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I like that one. You're skint yeah.
Speaker 2:Gaff. Is that like it's either laughing or like a faux pas? Like you did something, like you made a mistake.
Speaker 1:No, that's here. Gaff, I understand, means house or home or place.
Speaker 2:Oh, I didn't know that Gaffer. Well, that's somebody who works on a movie set with the tape well, that's somebody who works on a movie set with the tape. No, it's like, uh I think it means like it's like your your boss, right, okay, but gaffer is a person on with gaffing tape, like that's a thing, right no, but in uk slang I know, but I'm telling you that is also what it is.
Speaker 1:Go ahead yeah, the gaffer is like the person in charge yeah, or whatever he has the tape, that's right. That's good Skive To skive off. I have no idea. Skip work or school, oh okay.
Speaker 2:Twee, Twee means like it's super. I know what it means, but I don't know how to explain what it means. It's like like too kitschy kind of I don't know how to describe it.
Speaker 1:Overly cute or sentimental.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.
Speaker 1:So yeah, like saccharine, like something being very saccharine.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, I was thinking like too sweet yeah.
Speaker 1:So, anyway, there are your UK slang words that you can now start folding into your language at school and or work, and they'll look at you like they look at me.
Speaker 2:Along with all of along with actually no one wants that along with all of the genitalia, words we just taught you that's right.
Speaker 1:Pocket watch ticking, constricting coat and vest marking moments. And now a dog poem. That dog's at it again. Neurotic vigilance, barking at the postman's left shoe with canine diligence, a phantom menace in every dust speck that floats this hairy paranoid with dental overbite notes. The wind picks up. He's off his daggum head, barking at the concept of Tuesday. Instead of lying down like normal dogs should do, he's protesting. The color magenta. He apparently also hates blue. Instead of lying down like normal dogs should do, he's protesting the color magenta. He apparently also hates blue.
Speaker 1:Tax returns, microwaves, the neighbors to pay. He's barking at shadows cast by Earl Grey. The doorbell rings he thinks it's a conspiracy between the cat next door and fancy French pastry. Ballpoint pens drive him up the wall. Abstract paintings he hates them all. Clouds shaped like Nebraska.
Speaker 1:Silent documentaries, his endless complaints about modern dentistry. In the dead of night he'll start without warning, barking at the concept of global warming. I haven't slept right since 2002, thanks to his vendetta against bamboo. So why does my dog bark at the wind? And ikea furniture that needs assembling and a harsh critic of interpretive ballet? I reckon he's just wired that way in a world where garden gnomes plot revolution and sock drawers require canine retribution from quantum physics to leftover curry, real or imagined danger. He's a Karen but furry. He will remain my barking friend. His hatred of jazz bands will never end. The neighborhood thinks we've gone insane with his howling dislike of cellophane. Like of cellophane, no one likes to be told what to do. Now is the time in the program where we tell you what to do, amanda. What should we do?
Speaker 2:So you should go check out Goblin Tools. I have started therapy to try to deal with, you know, just life, and I was meeting with my therapist this week and we were talking about de-escalation thing, practices or techniques or tips or whatever. And one of them was, you know, I get a lot of anxiety around clutter, and so we were talking about. You know, she's like, even if you could just pick one thing that you could declutter, what would it be? And I said, well, I could do my, I could do my bedside table pretty easily, otherwise I get really overwhelmed. And so she showed me this thing. It's Goblin Tools, is the website, but then it has magic to-do list and you put in what it is you need to do and then you can drag. There's chili peppers and you can go from a one to like a five, and a one means it's going to give you minimal steps, a five means it's going to give you a ton of steps. You decide how much scaffolding you need.
Speaker 2:And so I used this the other day because Winthrop was fussing about making up his bed, about cleaning up his room, and usually he will do well if I'm in the room going, okay, now pick this up and I'll do this. Like he doesn't know where to start. It's overwhelming. We get that this thing. So he clicked this thing. I said I need to clean my room and I put it in. And it gave him a full list of all the things he needed to do, like, uh, pick up any clothes and put them in the hamper, pick up things off the floor and put them back where they're supposed to go. And he did this like a champ. He would go to his room, do it, come back to me. We click it off. Then, when it got to his bed, he's super overwhelmed by making up the bed. I put that in as a separate task and it broke it down and it was so great. But I can also see how this is going to be super helpful for me when it comes to cleaning the house or decluttering.
Speaker 1:It looks here like Goblin Tools was originally invented to be. Well, it says on the thing that it's tools for the neuro spicy and looking at the different things that you can do, um, I can see that that would be so. So you got the magic to-do list formalizer, text transformers for tone right. So, um, it helps you if, if you feel like the way you've written something might be misunderstood by someone reading it, so that's another tool. I think that's very interesting.
Speaker 2:There's also, I think, a pros and cons, so you can put something in and it'll break it down for you to help you make decisions.
Speaker 1:They've also got something here called Judge. Read a text for emotion. Am I misreading the tone of this? You know I need that sometimes when I'm dealing with texts from my children. Yes, I don't understand this text. So that's interesting, professor, which explains anything. Consultant, help me decide. So is that the pro? Yeah, that's the pro and con. What are the pros and cons? So you enter your text there and then it gives you a list. That's a pro and con. What are the pros and cons? So you enter your text there and then it gives you a list. That's really interesting. Estimator, guess an activity's time frame. Compiler, turn a brain dump into actions. And then I like this one Chef, create a recipe from ingredients.
Speaker 2:Yeah, so you just tell it what you have.
Speaker 1:Okay, now wait a second, let's see. Now we're going to try this While you're doing that.
Speaker 2:Let me say there's also. Goblin Tools has a teacher-facing version which requires an account. I don't know if there's a free account or how much you have to pay, but if I were still in the classroom I would find it very helpful.
Speaker 1:All right, so I'm putting in Give me an ingredient, a random ingredient.
Speaker 2:Garbanzo beans, okay or chickpeas, chickpeas.
Speaker 1:Thank you, I'm not spelling garbanzo beans right? Let's see, let's put ketchup, swiss cheese, chickpea, just one chickpea.
Speaker 2:Swiss cheese.
Speaker 1:Swiss cheese and sardines.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Gross. So let's see, watch it say you cannot cook anything with this. Oh, it's thinking, okay what does it say? Dish name sardine and chickpea fish toast oh gross, I do not want that oh god, so you toast so you're the one that fed it weird ingredients. Warm the sardines briefly to make them easier to mash.
Speaker 2:No.
Speaker 1:Mash them, mix in the ketchup and chickpeas and then put it on the toasted bread. Top with Swiss cheese slices. No, thank you, I'm good I feel compelled to try this, though we will see, can you try it at someone else's house? We'll see. Alright, josh, that's all there is. There is no more. What did you think of that mess?
Speaker 1:well, josh, it was it was okay, it could have had more Amanda in it, and you sound like Walmart Galactus, so you should probably knock it off and go get some rest. Okay, josh, that's a great idea. All right, folks, until we talk to you next week. Amanda and I, you all, go out there and you be safe, you stay well, being sick is for the birds and you be nice to each other, is that?
Speaker 2:what she says.
Speaker 1:No, she says be kind to each other. So go, do that. Bye. So so what if I were to start an ASMR type of podcast with this voice? So let's try it out. Hello baby, close your eyes, breathe deep, let it out slowly. How's that? Would you pay for that?
