College Parenting at 2 AM and Disney by 2 PM plus the Dobbins Effect

Sleep-deprived, off the rails, and somehow leading straight into parental panic, moral victories, and one bed date.

It’s a ride through a weekend that began with peace, steak, and football glory, and ended with a 2 A.M. call that tested their parenting nerves and their Wi-Fi connection. There’s a police car involved, a Disney detour, cosmic messages about fantasy football, and a suspiciously prophetic name. Meanwhile, Amanda rediscovers her sparkle thanks to modern medicine (and maybe Trader Joe’s), and Refined Gay Jeff makes a triumphant, spooky-season return to restore balance and taste to the universe.

Somewhere between church bells and turtles, chaos and calm, the Wilsons manage to find the humor, humanity, and gluten-free pumpkin bread that make married life: Version 2.0 worth every ding, ding, detour, and Dobbins.

Super Familiar with The Wilsons 
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A Familiar Wilsons Production

Transcript

Cold Open: Ding Ding Turtles

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Familiar Wilson's Media. Relationships are the story. Anthony? You are made of meat, my friend, all the way down. The following podcast uses words like and and also. If you're not into any of that shit, then now's your chance. Three, two, one. Run. Super familiar with the biggest. Welcome to Super Familiar with the Wilsons. I'm amazing. You were singing ding ding turtles.

SPEAKER_02 0:36

No, I was not in.

SPEAKER_00 0:37

You were singing ding ding turtles, and that was part of our intro.

SPEAKER_02 0:40

I said ding ding church bells. I was being the church bells.

SPEAKER_00 0:43

I thought you said ding ding turtles.

SPEAKER_02 0:45

And I was just wander around singing about turtles.

SPEAKER_00 0:47

Welcome to Super Familiar with the Wilsons.

SPEAKER_02 0:49

I'm the bigle, go turtle, go. Go turtle, go turtle, go. Does anybody remember that? Vanilla Ice and the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. I'm sorry. Who are you?

SPEAKER_00 0:57

I'm Josh.

Who We Are: Marriage 2.0 With Kids

SPEAKER_02 0:58

This is what you get when you get me on a loopy I haven't slept in four days. We're recording on a Monday night. And I'm Amanda.

SPEAKER_00 1:04

We're the podcast about marriage 2.0 with kids.

SPEAKER_02 1:08

And all the side quests.

SPEAKER_00 1:09

And today we'll talk about a visit to Disney. We'll talk about signs that the universe may be talking to us. And Refine Gay Jeff returns. He's back. But first, Amanda.

SPEAKER_02 1:23

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 1:24

We've had one hell of a weekend. It's actually a parenting thing that I would like to talk about.

SPEAKER_02 1:28

Oh, I'm so tired.

SPEAKER_00 1:30

Saturday night. Let me paint the picture for for you viewers or listeners, not viewers, unless you're just looking at your iPhone right now. Which a lot of people I think do. They're listening to the podcast. They're also driving and looking at their phones.

SPEAKER_02 1:42

I do that.

SPEAKER_00 1:43

When I listen to you drive and look at your phone? No.

SPEAKER_02 1:46

Can I please fit? No, I don't. I really don't. Can I please finish my my story, my sentence, my words? When I am driving and I'm listening to an audiobook, I've got, you know, my little screen up that'll show me the map or my messages or whatever. I keep putting it on the audio book and looking at the cover, hoping something will have changed. It looks the same every time. I'm like, am I getting new clues from this? It's the same damn picture every time, but I really try to stare hard at it.

SPEAKER_00 2:14

And if the cops see you looking at your phone while you're driving, it's not my phone, the display on the car. Oh, okay. I was gonna say, you can't even have your phone in your hand and they will pull you over.

SPEAKER_02 2:25

I know because you got a ticket.

SPEAKER_00 2:27

Oh that was like a year and a half ago, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_02 2:29

I got a ticket and they didn't, they didn't accept my appeal.

SPEAKER_00 2:34

Oh no.

SPEAKER_02 2:35

I just found that out today. I got a parking ticket at work last week because we have hang tags, and I just completely forgot to hang my hang tag up because I don't drive with it up because it, you know, it blocks my view. And normally I'm really good about it. I forgot to put it up last week. I appealed it because the whole point is not parking in a space that you don't have the right to park in. I have the right to park in it. I just forgot to put the thing up, and uh yeah, they denied that request.

SPEAKER_00 3:00

So what how much do you gotta pay?

SPEAKER_02 3:01

Like$34.

SPEAKER_00 3:03

And it's like not a traffic school type of thing.

SPEAKER_02 3:06

No, it's like, yeah, it's just it's not even the police. No points. It's not it's like the parking meter guy. There you go.

Parenting Scare: 2:30 a.m. Police Car Call

SPEAKER_00 3:12

It's not even the police. But I wanted to talk about this weekend. I wanted to talk about Saturday. We actually had a really nice Saturday. We woke up, we went to the farmer's market, skipping all the way to Saturday evening. Um, Amanda and Josh had a nice bed date. We had a nice day.

SPEAKER_02 3:29

I can't believe you were telling the world that we had a bed date. First of all, can we talk about how we had some um we had what we had what? We had really good steak. There was a steak. We made steak. We watched the Florida football game in which we thought that they were going to lose horribly bad to Texas, number nine, Texas. Florida's one and three. Zero idea how they did it, but they beat Texas.

SPEAKER_00 3:50

They did. Um, and then we came to bed and we had a bed date, and that was lovely.

SPEAKER_02 3:57

I can't believe you just told the world that again. Stop saying bed date.

SPEAKER_00 4:00

What what would you rather I say?

SPEAKER_02 4:03

I don't want to talk to the people about it.

SPEAKER_00 4:06

We have four children between us here. This is there's no surprises. We've done this before. I think you need to be become a little bit more comfortable with the fact that that we are grown-ass adults and we are allowed now.

SPEAKER_02 4:21

No, but you understand how cringed our children are once we have passed on and they're like, hey, let's listen to mom and dad's like archives so we can feel close to them.

SPEAKER_00 4:31

They'll disown us. Um, so anyway, we settle into a nice afterglow.

SPEAKER_02 4:38

Um I fall asleep.

SPEAKER_00 4:43

Yeah, you do. And you did you stay awake?

SPEAKER_02 4:45

I mean, not much longer. I think I was asleep by like 11 30.

SPEAKER_00 4:48

I mean, you you had to be tired.

SPEAKER_02 4:50

Um God, why are you?

SPEAKER_00 4:53

So there's a series of events that result in us getting a call at 3 30 in the morning. 2 30 in the morning. 2 30 in the morning. From Muffy.

SPEAKER_02 5:02

From the backseat of a police car.

SPEAKER_00 5:04

From Muffy at the backseat of a police car. You better really quickly finish this story because Muffy did nothing wrong.

SPEAKER_02 5:11

She did nothing wrong. In fact, she did everything right. So um, yeah, she went out with friends. The game, it ended. The town was crazy because no one expected them to win. So she went out with some friends. They went to uh an 18 and up place, like, you know, got their little bands on. They're under 21. They can't, you know, they can't drink, whatever. They're just out dancing, having a good time. The thing closes at two. These people are night owls. I don't remember, I mean, I do remember being out like past midnight, but I don't remember two in the morning. That just but I mean, again, that was like 30 years ago, so maybe I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 5:44

They didn't have streetlights back then, I don't think.

SPEAKER_02 5:47

So no, I mean barely any electricity. Like we all wandered around with our lanterns.

SPEAKER_00 5:52

That's just a little bit of electricity. Each town had just like a Tesla coil that would spark every now and they had one of those globes in the center in the center of town that everyone would go put their hands on and the electricity. And that was it. That was all the electricity they had.

SPEAKER_02 6:07

So she and her friends that she was out with, they live on campus. They all live like boom, boom, boom, dorms like three in a row. And so they walk together, they walk back together. I don't love them walking at night. Everything's lit up, there's a bunch of people out, police are trolling the campuses. Turns out ambulances are trolling the campus as well.

SPEAKER_00 6:24

And I think you want to say patrolling, not patrolling. Patrolling?

SPEAKER_02 6:26

Well, maybe they're trolling. Who knows? The parking ticket people were trolling me. Anyway, so they leave, they they leave this club and they're going to walk home. And this girl just passes out on the sidewalk, right?

SPEAKER_00 6:39

So who's not with them? Who's not with them? Let's be clear.

SPEAKER_02 6:42

Random girl.

SPEAKER_00 6:42

They they come upon a girl who has passed out.

SPEAKER_02 6:45

Passed out. So the way that it unfolds for us is that I wake up about two o'clock to go to the bathroom. I look at her her location because she is very like, I want you to have my location. I always want somebody to know where I am. I look at her location, and typically if I'm awake, I'll watch her walk back to the dorm and okay, everything's fine. Well, she stayed in this one place for like 20 minutes.

SPEAKER_00 7:04

Right, which is you could tell was outside on the street.

Safety, Tracking Apps, and Boundaries

SPEAKER_02 7:07

Was well, I mean, it's like mid-campus, right? But yeah, I knew. So I kept thinking, Oh, God, mate, did she drop her phone? Is she standing there talking to people? So I texted her and I said, Are you okay? And she wrote back, Yes, I'm okay, but I need to update you. I'm headed to the hospital. So then all of the what, what, what's, and she called, um, she called me and said, I'm in the backseat of a police car, everything I am fine. But this girl passed out in front of them. So Muffy and her friends went over, and Muffy happened to recognize this girl because they went to the same high school for like one year. Random dude is with the girl and trying to get her up. And immediately our feminist daughter is like, Wait, who are you? Why are you here? Do you know her? And this guy was saying things like, Oh, it's okay. I'm a friend of her brother's. Turns out this girl doesn't have any siblings. So it's really suspect. Muffy is texting somebody who knows the girl, confirming she does not have siblings. So Muffy and her friend say, Okay, we've got her. Like you go away, we've got her. So they start trying to walk her back on campus. Guy is following, girl stops to throw up, and the EMTs pull up. So then that's what happened was that Muffy and the girls talked with the EMT, got the guy away. The police officer got the guy away. And then Muffy uh was talking to another friend and trying to get a hold of the girl's mom, the girl's friends, somebody who could come to the hospital. And so Muffy said to the police officer, May I please go? Can you please take me to the hospital? Because we want, don't want this girl to be alone. So Muffy goes, police officer super nice, drops her off at the ER, um, and Muffy waits for the mom eventually comes and the uncle. So then at 3 45, I go pick her up from the ER. So we got home about 4 15 in the morning. She came home to stay the rest of the weekend. So it was, it we're very, very proud of her. Don't love that she's out at two in the morning, but absolutely love that she and her friends have this uh like climate of nobody, we don't leave any girl alone. And unfortunately, that is just society we live in, right? We just we have and this girl did not know her name, could not, I mean, was totally passed out. So super scary to get a call in the middle of the night. I'm in a police car, I'm going to the hospital, but absolutely proud of her actions, of her and her friends. And um, but we're still really tired and we're recovering.

SPEAKER_00 9:34

I just how much is too much to know?

SPEAKER_02 9:38

It's really hard because when I came up here, I was her age. I mean, I called my mom every day because I'm super I was super close to my mom, but I was out at night. I was out at midnight, I was going out, I was coming home late. And your mom didn't know and my mom didn't know. Now, my mom was very much tuned into like the Holy Spirit and prayer and all of these things that she linded leaned into. So I think that was a place of rest and solace for her, like just praying protection over me. You and I don't have that just blind faith anymore. And so we don't have that to rest in. And we also have technology. Now, do I am I really proud of her for talking to us about everything? Absolutely. But I have to get to the point where I just stopped checking.

SPEAKER_00 10:24

I I don't think you're gonna be able to do that.

SPEAKER_02 10:26

I know, I don't think I can.

SPEAKER_00 10:28

Yeah, and you you would flip the hell out if she turned that track and thing off as well.

SPEAKER_02 10:33

Yes, well, and but what I love too is that she and her close girlfriends all have each other's location. She and her roommate have each other's location, and they don't see it as like you're keeping tabs on me, you're spying on me. It's a a safety thing. I want somebody to know where I am.

SPEAKER_00 10:50

Yeah, yeah. No, I get that. I get that. It's just I I guess it goes back to the question I asked myself is like, how much to know is too much to know? Like, how how do we as parents survive this? And I can't imagine that she's going to be 26, 27, 28, and still have her location on.

SPEAKER_02 11:10

Well, uh, you know, I have a good friend um that I work with, and her kids are one is in grad school, one's out of grad school. So her kids are, you know, mid-20s, and their family rule is I don't have to have your location as your parent, but somebody has to have it. So it's the sister.

SPEAKER_00 11:27

Yeah, I get that.

SPEAKER_02 11:27

Like if you don't want me to have it, then your brother has it.

SPEAKER_00 11:31

So is Muffy gonna give Winthrop her location?

SPEAKER_02 11:34

Winthrop is gonna be telling on her all the time, and you know it.

SPEAKER_00 11:39

Yes, he can he can be a a little bit of a jerk sometimes, this this wonderful child of ours.

SPEAKER_02 11:44

Well, and then I mean, she also has my location. I have yours, but I don't think she has yours.

SPEAKER_00 11:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:49

Um, and she will, hey, what are you doing at Trader Joe's? Can you get me blah, blah, blah?

SPEAKER_00 11:54

Like, she will just like drop in, or I'll be like, It's like you're the DoorDash driver, except she always is tracking your location.

SPEAKER_02 12:02

Or you and I have said, we're gonna go to Home Depot and get some stuff, and then we like detour by Black Adder Brewery and play around a darts, and then she she messages, what are you doing at Black Adder? You said you were coming home. So she is definitely of the um, I'm keeping track of you, but could you imagine that power in Winthrop's hands?

SPEAKER_00 12:25

It's gonna be totally different though. When when he's um when he's grown up, it's gonna be like he's gonna be able to pop in like a hologram, like from Star Wars, how the emperor would would message Darth Vader in a little holographic form. He's gonna do that. We're just gonna be out doing something, and then blue, there's his holographic. God forbid, we're like we have a bed date.

SPEAKER_02 12:45

Stop talking about bed dates.

SPEAKER_00 12:46

And all in his and his face is holographic just pops up in the room. We're gonna have to figure out a way to shield that.

SPEAKER_02 12:53

I don't know if we have to wear like a cam, like cover up the camera.

SPEAKER_00 12:55

That's right. We're gonna have to wear uh aluminum foil hats or something so that he can't hologram into our bed date time.

SPEAKER_02 13:03

All right, so anyway, uh those of you who have older kids, how do you do it?

SPEAKER_00 13:09

How do you do it? We need to know. Give us some advice, tell us what to do. Familiarwilsons at gmail.com because we need to know well, how to survive this next few years. And but we don't just want to survive, we want to thrive.

College Stories: Then vs Now

SPEAKER_02 13:23

Yeah, and I will say she's thriving. Like what she did I want to throw. You want to thrive, but I am like super, super proud of her. That was and the girl texted her the next day and thanked her so much for staying with her, like, I mean, that's what you want. If that was your kid, that's what you would want. Um, the concerning thing is, is where were this, where was this girl's friends that she went out with? Like that, thank God my kid and in the way we've raised her and her friends were there to take care of her. But I mean, that happened to me. I was I was a sophomore here, so I was 19, um, moved up here with one of my best friends from home, and we had a third roommate who dropped out. So then we had a random roommate. She was doing, she did all the partying, even though she wasn't 21, pre-parting at home, went out, and there was there was one weekend where she went out, and this was right when do you remember when apartments or hotels switched from keys to the key cards? Yeah. So this was like 1994, and it was the first year of the key cards. This girl would come home blind drunk, could not get the key card in the door, and my room was right by the door. So I would always have to wake up and let her in. She she would bring home random guys, guys she didn't know. And not like to have the bed dates, but just like, oh, this guy was outside the club and he didn't have a ride, so I brought him home. No, thank you. I don't know him, I don't want him. And so she came in and the guy threw up from our front door through the dining room to her bedroom and threw up on her bed and she slept on the couch.

SPEAKER_00 14:54

Wait, what do you mean that that he was at the door and the the force of the stream was so strong it crossed the room?

SPEAKER_02 15:02

No, he kept having to stop in the like 20 feet from the front door through the dining room to her bedroom.

SPEAKER_00 15:07

He's maybe just marking his territory like a dog.

SPEAKER_02 15:10

So then she's passed out on the couch. We can't get her to answer us. She doesn't know who he is. So my other roommate and I think his name was Ralph. Yes. My other roommate and I, at like three in the morning, called two guy friends and say, Yeah, random guy in the apartment, come get him out. So these two guys show up, get him, drop him out on the front lawn, and they're like, I don't know where you're going. You can sleep it off here, but you can't be in this apartment, right? So the next morning she wakes up, has no idea about what's happened, and then oh wait, she had a friend visiting her from home. She was like from the Fort Lauderdale area, has no idea where her friend is. Oh doesn't know where she left her friend. This was before cell phones and and tracking of the location. Yeah. So she just didn't know where her friend was. Later found out that her friend had gone home with some guy, had sex with him on his balcony, and had splinters all in her bottom. So, I mean, this is not new, this thing, but like raising these girls to not leave each other behind is a thing. And I mean, and you say, How do we survive it? You have two older boys. You've been through this, but is it it's just different?

SPEAKER_00 16:19

It is not the same. It is not the same. These are two taller than me, big boys. I don't worry so much about their safety. I worry about their safety maybe with other things. Like, you know, anyone driving at night stresses me out. Any of my children or family or you driving at night stresses me out because I don't care how big you are, you're in a car, different story. But like Muffy's wonderful. Muffy is very slight and uh girl who, you know, can be overpowered. Yeah, I don't worry about Daniel and Andrew being overpowered.

SPEAKER_02 16:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:51

So it's not the same.

SPEAKER_02 16:52

Do you worry about Winthrop being overpowered?

SPEAKER_00 16:56

I can't even overpower him. I don't I'm not. So anyway, give us advice uh if you have it. Familiarwils is at gmail.com. We woke up the next day. Well, actually, it was the same day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go back to sleep. Like four hours later. Because of course I didn't go back to sleep. And we left town at one to drive down to Orlando to meet um podcaster and friend Josh Scar of the Talking Smack podcast and his family as they were visiting Disney. And that was uh wonderful. Although I will say that we drove um four and a half hours all told, you know, two and a half hours there, two hours back, so that we can have a a two and a half hour uh dinner and visit.

SPEAKER_02 17:48

Yeah, but that was that was the fact that you've got these friends from northern Illinois who you've not ever met in person. And so it was really the experience of meeting them, not the two and a half hours.

SPEAKER_00 17:57

I know, and I'm not complaining about it. I enjoyed the drive back. Actually, I was listening to my music and rocking out as you were sleeping.

SPEAKER_02 18:04

Went there, but I went straight to sleep.

SPEAKER_00 18:06

Um, so I the drive didn't bother me, but I don't actually think that I've ever done that before. Like driven that long for a short amount of time.

SPEAKER_02 18:15

Yeah. Well, I really enjoyed it. His uh Josh and his family, super nice, super kind, uh, super cute kids. His youngest, though, I think I might be insulted.

SPEAKER_00 18:28

Why?

SPEAKER_02 18:29

Because she asked if we were his family.

SPEAKER_00 18:33

She asked her her father, Josh.

SPEAKER_02 18:35

Yes, are are they our family? Right. Or your family or whatever. And he said, Well, our podcast family, and then she pointed it to me and said, Is she your mom? I think I'm about 10 years older than him, but I am definitely in my feelings a little bit about looking like the mom. Now, behavior-wise, yeah, I mom everybody, but um, I didn't think that I needed to mom the podcast group.

SPEAKER_00 18:58

I just want to say that that you you were lovely and delightful in that visit. I'm happy to see that you're back to your old self again. You're back to your Do we know why I am? Well, I know why you are, but it's just just you're back to your outgoing bubbly personality, which we talked about. Perry Menopause stole from you. Yep, but you got the patch.

SPEAKER_02 19:21

I got the patch.

SPEAKER_00 19:22

You got the patch on your butt.

SPEAKER_02 19:24

And I that's where it is. Um, and I am what? I'm almost done with my fourth week. Tomorrow will be the end of my fourth week. And I mean, I just woke up one day last week, I slept seven hours straight through, which I haven't done in actual years, I think. And just felt like a different person. And I was texting you, like, I just feel like me again. And it's so funny because that's what you see when people talk about getting the patch because there's so much stigma around getting it because there are issues with- Explain to everyone what that is.

SPEAKER_00 19:54

They they're thinking now that that you are mitigating your nicotine addiction, and that's not what the patch is.

SPEAKER_02 19:59

Right. So when you're approaching perimenopause, right, your estrogen, estrogen and progesterone levels drop and it affects you in ways that you would not even believe there are ways that this affects you.

SPEAKER_00 20:10

Loyalty.

Disney Detour: Meeting Podcast Friends

SPEAKER_02 20:11

I mean, the rage is a real thing. You um you know, you you're exhausted all of the time. The hot flashes are horrible, aches and pains, and this weird ass thing called frozen shoulder, which I had no idea. Also, the perimenopause fog, like not being able to come up with words and stuff, it's all just really awful. But there is a stigma, or at least I grew up one in my mom's generation, um, of of taking hormone replacement because there are some side effects, right? If you take the oral medication, it goes through your liver, it can cause issues. Um, it puts you at a higher rate for stroke or heart attack. It also puts you at a higher rate for breast cancer. I don't have any of those pre-existing conditions or risk factors. Um, and I was talking to the doctor about it, and she was like, Yeah, you know, that there just wasn't there's not a ton of research around it. And, you know, the stigma of of older generations just not talking about women's health. So I I got the patch. Um, it was in a bit of an adjustment, caused a lot of headaches, and but now I'm I'm about a month in, and from it's my understanding, it will take about three months, but I just I feel different, but what you're saying is that I present differently too.

SPEAKER_00 21:29

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. It's yes. I'm I'm happy that you're back.

SPEAKER_02 21:34

Thanks. Did you miss me? I just God were you scared of the person in the world.

SPEAKER_00 21:38

I was not scared. I loved that person too. Um, but now I'm back with you, and I'm I'm happy about it. That's our Disney adventure. We were happy to meet Josh and his family, and you should listen to Talking Smack, which is about superheroes and movies and comic books, and really an enjoyable listen. So there's my my little Is that your recommendation for that? That's my little ad read, but they are not a sponsor. Amanda, do you believe the universe gives us signs?

SPEAKER_02 22:11

I used to. I don't know if I do anymore.

SPEAKER_00 22:15

Well, I didn't, but after drafting perhaps the worst team in the history of fantasy football, like they got the readout from my team and they considered for a second doing away with fantasy football because my my draft was an offense to humanity. But after having done that to them and to the world, I'm gonna win two weeks in a row.

SPEAKER_02 22:41

How?

SPEAKER_00 22:42

Exactly. How I don't know how. I'm wondering, is the universe giving me a sign? It was the worst possible thing. There's no way I could win, and that's happening. Is the universe telling me to take my shot, to quit my job, uh, gamble everything on podcasting? You know, uh I should make a call right now to everyone saying if you're listening and you want to sponsor us or you want to be our sugar daddy or sugar mama, to go ahead and I will send you personally our Venmo information. Should I buy a lottery ticket? Um, is my window still even open? Here's another sign that I got. It's the most amazing thing. And this is why I think you know, just one sign is one thing, but this is I think I've received multiple signs. I listened to the Taskmaster Podcast, which is the podcast where Ed Gamble talks to the people who are on there after each show and kind of does a breakdown of each show. And he was interviewing Sanjeev Baskar um on this last one, and Sanjeev was talking about in passing, he he did a bit about um someone called Jeff Dobbins, right? So the very unusual name, Jeff Dobbins. I don't think I've ever heard the name Dobbins before. So I thought it was a funny bit, whatever. I open up my fantasy football thing playing on a team against me was a player called Jay Dobbins. I kid you not.

Perimenopause, The Patch, and Getting Myself Back

SPEAKER_02 24:07

That's super interesting, but what does that tell you? Somehow the fact that you have this player that Sanjay's talked about somebody similar means you should quit your job?

SPEAKER_00 24:16

I'm just saying that like these are two different signs that I've received this weekend. The universe is trying to get my attention. Why? What is the universe trying to tell me?

SPEAKER_02 24:27

That you lucked into a good fantasy football team.

SPEAKER_00 24:30

Listeners, do you believe in the universe giving you messages? Has the universe talked to you? Has the universe talked to you about me?

SPEAKER_02 24:40

Has the universe talked to you about Jay Dobbins?

SPEAKER_00 24:42

Oh my god. What if I get we get an email at familiarwilsons at gmail.com? Someone saying, you know what? The name Dobbins came up for me too.

SPEAKER_02 24:50

Oh well.

SPEAKER_00 24:51

If that happens, I guarantee them to you, I'm gonna do something.

SPEAKER_02 24:55

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 24:56

Like, like I don't want the window to close completely. I'm gonna make some sort of decision based on this. I'm gonna do it.

SPEAKER_01 25:02

All right.

SPEAKER_00 25:02

I support you. Have you heard of Jeff Dobbins? Uh, listeners, let me know. And speaking of signs from the universe that everything's going to be okay, we've got an email from Refined Gay Jeff.

SPEAKER_02 25:17

I have so missed you, Jeff.

SPEAKER_00 25:19

Jeff says, Ola Wilsons, how wonderful it is to be able to contribute again. I know it's been a minute since I've sent some refined gay thoughts. Thanks for all the texts and phone calls to check on me. You know, life can throw curveballs every now and again, and it appears that I've successfully navigated those curveballs into what I consider to be a home run for me. Oh my God, that will be my last sports ball reference today. I'm just impressed that he used all of the words correctly. For your listeners out there that might be curious, just know that I transferred to a new school, the largest high school in the Houston School District, and they have a brand new building with, of course, a brand new library. Last week was my first week, and it was glorious. I was made to feel so welcome by the enormous faculty and massive student body. Over 3,200 students. My God. I made some aesthetic changes that showcase my refined gay jeans and everyone from my new principal, whom I worked with before, and faculty and lots of students has commented on how much they like it and my style. I think my joy has returned.

SPEAKER_02 26:30

I'm so glad.

SPEAKER_00 26:30

If you'd like to have a little synopsis, we talked about it a bit last week on what was going on with Jeff. Jeff continues. Amanda, I am thinking of you today because I'm putting up my three Halloween wreaths that I made with orange and purple lights.

SPEAKER_02 26:47

You know how I love it. I remember when you made them last year, Jeff, and I was very proud of you.

SPEAKER_00 26:50

It's October, so spooky season is upon us. Have you started yet?

SPEAKER_02 26:55

Of course. I started at the end of August.

SPEAKER_00 26:58

Much like Christmas decorations, spooky season makes me happy and lifts my spirits. It also reminds me that Halloween is the gay, high holy day for my fellow homosexuals, and it won't be long until the bears, muscle daddies, and cubs start flaunting their leather leather harnesses across their tight ample pecks for all to ogle over. He says oogle over, but I think he meant ogle over. I've never heard of oogling. But maybe he oogles. Maybe that's what refined gay people do. They oogle, not ogle. Maybe the straits ogle and the gays oogle. Is that so? I'd like to know. Don't get me wrong, he says they still wear them now and all the time, but Halloween is a time that everyone wants a piece of the action, along with some super incredible, well thought-out costumes that the gays have spent all year planning. Even though we are still a little less than a month away, I will still plan on texting you some of the better versions of Rapture that I will come across on Halloween night.

SPEAKER_02 27:56

Oh, yeah. There's got to be some really good rapture costumes.

Do Signs Exist? Fantasy Football and Dobbins

SPEAKER_00 28:00

Double entendre there, maybe. To address your swearing topic. So we talked last week all about swearing and our kids' swearing. He says, like Amanda, I grew up in a household that did not use swear words at all. Remember, I grew up in small town, South Carolina, where swearing could go either way, generally, but my family was religious, like you talked about. We weren't like the evangelical zealots of today, but it was the 70s-era Southern Baptists. Yep. My parents were heavily involved in the church. My mom was and still is the organist after 65 years of playing. Congrats. My dad was choir director for about 35 to 40 years. I was even the assistant choir director. Swearing was looked upon as something that people who need Jesus would do. LOL. But all of that changed for me when I went away to college. Isn't that always the way? This is what we're just talking about. These are all these changes. He says, My eyes were open as to how the world really worked. I didn't have my first alcohol, my first alcohol, until a college choir retreat. And let me tell you, it was glorious. I even remember the drink, rum and coke, which kind of became my signature for many years. I did not drink beer because I simply do not like the taste of it and still do not. Um, so I've stayed away from that swill my entire life. Now my preferred alcohol is vodka. Can't I'm sorry, Jeff, I can't do it. I had a bad experience. But also enjoy a glass of Jameson whiskey, and I'll never turn down a margarita. Had one today for lunch with friends, in fact. Rocks, no salt. Unless I'm really hot, then a frozen margarita will cool me right off. Again, no salt. And Texas knows how to make great margaritas. Wow, how did I get off on this tangent of alcohol when I was discussing swearing? Well, it happens. They go hand in hand. They do. They do. Oh, and speaking of, I fully embrace my swear words now. Somehow they are more frequent when I'm having cocktails at the gay bar and my tongue has been set free by the alcohol. Generally though, I try to keep them in reserve. I usually tell my students if I hear them swearing a lot, it's typically a sign of them not being able I'm sorry, typically a sign of them not being intentional in their speech. And caveman brain creeps in. Is that like lizard brain? Caveman brain? Mm-hmm. Do you remember your first alcoholic beverage?

SPEAKER_02 30:25

Yeah, I mean roommate who brought the weird boys home in the middle of the night uh bribed me and my other roommate into drinking vodka and Kool-Aid if we drank vodka and Kool-Aid. If we drank one so I was 19, if we drank one drink she would give us anything from her closet and I really wanted one of her flannel shirts. So we did. Bad thing is we then thought we'd go drive around which was a horrible choice with lights off at night. Well I wasn't driving.

SPEAKER_00 30:58

Yeah you're too busy enjoying your new flannel shirt as you were drunk. Yes that but that was my first I don't remember my first my my first was a really bad lot my no my first taste of alcohol was beer and my dad would give me a sip when I was when I was a young kid so I was probably like seven or eight like getting these occasional sips of Heineken you know that we got at the the Esso store in in uh Grand Canyon that's younger than Winthrop have you been giving Winthrop beer on the side no dude can you imagine him drunk? It would be the worst um you think he doesn't think it's blligerite now. That's right. That's right. Anyway he he comments uh on matcha he says I don't like green tea at all I avoid it like hillbillies avoid dental work to any of our hillbilly appalachian listeners we do apologize. Josh I'm glad that you have embraced animal based protein again I totally get it that you thank the animal for giving their life for your sustenance that's very Native American in origin and I actually do that too. I shall have a BLT in your honor and then thank Porky. I hope that you guys have a great week I think I may go out to the ripcord for a little while later on I gotta get my drink on. Well Jeff you heard how our weekend went so there you go he says peace and cookies. Have some vodka and Kool-Aid for me Jeff oh gross that is disgusting I've told you the story about vodka right yes the only time no I've only projectile vomited twice in my life it was that and then it was way too much beer in Oregon once in a haunted hotel. But that's a story for a different time.

SPEAKER_02 32:31

You gotta drink a lot of beer to throw up with beer dude.

SPEAKER_00 32:34

Oh I did oh I did and it was really strong beer as well and did I mention it was a haunted hotel so I'm sure that that had something I've told this story right where where I threw up into I was so pissed I had the day before I had the best burger for a dinner but I couldn't finish it. So I put it in one of those paper boxes that had kind of has wax yeah you know on the inside and I couldn't I woke up and I couldn't find anything to throw up in so I threw up in that.

SPEAKER_02 33:01

Why didn't you go to the bathroom? I couldn't make it okay what okay but what does the haunted hotel have to do with this?

SPEAKER_00 33:08

It's a different story. We'll tell it later we're running out of time here. Thanks Jeff good to hear from you. No one likes to be told what to do. And now is the time in the program where we tell you what to do. Amanda, what should we do?

SPEAKER_02 33:22

Alright so here's the deal if you don't like the gluten don't want the gluten are allergic to the gluten or just are looking for something yummy go to Trader Joe's get the gluten free pumpkin bread and muffin mix so you just need like one egg in uh a little bit of oil and some water it makes the best bread and the best um uh muffins so there you go quick tip go to Trader Joe's gluten free pumpkin bread and muffin mix there you go you like it you eat it I'll eat it yeah but you like to put butter on it yes I do all right Amanda that's all there is there is no more my weekly question to you is what do you think of that mess?

Refined Gay Jeff Returns: Joy, School, and Spooky Season

SPEAKER_00 34:10

Always enjoy the mess but now I'm sleepy yes well now I have to stay up and try to edit this into into something as if we edit. And now we do want to acknowledge the people without whom we would not be able to deliver unto you yea verily this content so we'd like to thank Antonio who plays Ricky Mouse Josh Scar who plays that bad villainous lion uncle forgot his name Justin who plays Goofus the dog Matt who plays Neptune which is that other dog but he doesn't know how to talk don't ask me why Leo the Wizard in the wall Danny Buckets who plays the beast Chicken Tom who plays Whiny the Poop Ryan Baker who plays Fuzz Bright Ear Monique who plays Maggie Mouse Joey Joey Refined Gay Jeff who plays Daniel Duck Mark and Rachel who play Happy and Slappy and Dan and Gavin as themselves.

SPEAKER_02 35:07

That's right oh friends we love you all when you when you're out or just tell your kids when they're out take care of each other please just don't leave anybody on the sidewalk past out with strange men.

SPEAKER_00 35:20

No one left behind.

SPEAKER_02 35:22

Alright and go be kind bye bye