The dynamic Stephanie Burger chats about the many hats she wears and her path to living a purpose filled life.
Welcome to a place where we're thinking together and thinking deeper about who we are. In this world, welcome to the Billosophy podcast.
Stephanie Burger:I am the dance break diva.
William Forchion:Hello, and welcome to Billosophy 101. I'm William Forchion. And today my guest is
Stephanie Burger:I am Stephanie Burger. I wear many hats. The company, I work for, a lot of work behind the scenes that people don't see and some work in front of the scenes. And I also another side of me that a lot of people don't know is my sobriety from alcoholism. I just celebrated last month, five years of sobriety,
William Forchion:congratulations.
Stephanie Burger:So that plays a big role in how I show up in life, how I show up in work and how I, I Can, I can be me and be the magic behind the scene s that I need to be. So
William Forchion:you you just gave me so many roads to travel down on this conversation. And that's exciting. Wow. Okay. Wow. First of all, you've talked about the many hats that you wear. And I, but, I want to go to that, that little nugget you tagged on at the end? And that is your sobriety. Yeah. And without, without going into trauma porn. What took you to the point at which you decided, You know what, I don't need this anymore.
Stephanie Burger:Honestly, I tried to get I tried to get sober a couple times. And the last time I literally drag myself into the hospital and laying into the hospital bed. I was like, Nope, I can't do this. And I have two options. I can live or I could not live. And I chose to live. So I took every step that I needed to take, I became, I basically became a sponge and was like, I don't know how to do this, I have to find people that do know how to do this, and listen and learn. And literally like, Please take me by the hand, show me the path, what do I need to do? And that became I became a sponge and just started soaking up? What do I need to do? What's next? What's next? What's next?
William Forchion:Right? There's something you just mentioned about the humility of being the sponge. And in the other party when you're on the other side of that journey. And you believe that you're in charge, I'm just have another one or I'm gonna have another drink. And it's your it's all your choices, right? Your decision right in that making. And yet, your humility allowed you to make some healthier choices.
Stephanie Burger:Yeah, and you know, one of the things I learned is, with any addiction, alcohol, for me, it's my choice up to a point. And then it no longer became my choice. It was a in my head was I don't want to do this anymore. And the result was, at first. It's kind of like the universe laughing. You know, like, when you're like, I have plans, the universe kind of giggles that you like, that's cute that you think that's what's gonna happen? And they're like, No, we're going this way. So like with an addiction, it's like, I'm done, I'm gonna quit. And a lot of times, your addiction is in control. And you're like, No, it's like, no, you know, you think you're going to but you're not. So it's, it's a conscious decision. And it's a it's not easy. It is a hard decision that for a long time you have to make every single morning sometimes every hour, sometimes every minute that you're like, No, I know not. Not right now.
William Forchion:No, I have a question to ask. And this comes from my experience. Did you transfer your addiction?
Stephanie Burger:I it's very easy to do. And in a way I did. And it's it's a lot of work to not. Because a lot of people are like, Oh, great, I quit drinking. Awesome. I'm sober. And they're like, I work out 24/7 I go to the gym five times a day, or now I'm eating every eight hours or, for me, I did a lot of online shopping. And you know, after a couple months, I was like, oh my god, I just have a new one. So I made a decision to change that. I was like if I'm gonna have a new addiction, what can that be that is not harmful to me. And I read it. I started reading like, everything I could get my hands on all genres. And I was like if I'm going to have an addiction I think reading is going to be my thing. So it's
William Forchion:brilliant is because there's a lot of folks will Oh, this is good, that's bad. And it's theirs. It's fraught, because you may have stepped into sobriety from alcohol. And yet, they're like, for me, I haven't touched a drink in almost 15 years now. Yeah. And which was the silliest reason to start not drinking was, I was working on a movie, and it was on location. And I was like, I am not going to be the guy who's only fun at the bar, ever. After we wrap, you know, we cut for the day. And I was like, so I want I want if I'm gonna be fun at the bar, it's not because I'm drinking too much, or I'm having a good time. And so that shoot lasted six weeks. And so I knew, then I was like six weeks sober. Yeah. And I was and then we had a break, and there was a little bit more. And so we did another two weeks on, and I was like, I'm now two months sober. Yeah. Okay, can I get six months? And then that six months went for a year, and then a year was like two years. And then and now I'm at almost 15.
Stephanie Burger:Yeah.
William Forchion:And
Stephanie Burger:Congratulations.
William Forchion:Thank you. And I love it. Recognizing that I had another addiction as well, as I worked out like a madman, I trained all the time. Some of that came from what it took to become the Acrobat that I was, right. Others, but others was like, Oh, I don't I'm not doing this now. So I can do this. Yeah. And, but what I was saying about good or bad, right or wrong, is I had to learn to get rid of that as well. And go to is it healthy? Or is it unhealthy?
Stephanie Burger:As you know, there's the whole this is wrong. This is right, this is what you should do. Like, I get to decide what's wrong and right for me. Like, nobody else gets to decide that you may not agree with my choices, but I get to decide, you know, what's wrong or right for me, and the shoulds? You know, there's that whole saying, Don't shut all over your shirt on yourself. Right? And so, getting the shoulds out of my vocabulary and mentality and thinking is like that to work to but getting rid of those is huge. And, you know, no conversations.
William Forchion:I'm gonna go for a little levity here. I'm just gonna, if you're listening to this on the podcast, this won't make any sense. But it would seem that you also have a candle addiction. Just behind Stephanie is a shelf with I'm seeing three, there's about 15 Jean candles shelf. And I love candles. So that's what caught my eye that right off the shoulder was a bunch of candles. I was like,
Stephanie Burger:Yeah. And, you know, I like I purchase I'll purchase a lot at one time, like all the different smells, and then I won't purchase anything for a couple years. So I get my little fix in there. And I'm like, Alright, I'm good. You know? So yeah, I do it is it's a thing with candles.
William Forchion:We're gonna use that candle we're in. Now we're gonna let that candle smolder for a little bit. And we're gonna jump over to your hat wearing wear lots and lots of hats.
Stephanie Burger:The hats I wear with coaches console, I do sales. So coaches console is a online software platform for coaches and service based entrepreneurs. It's the back end of the business. It's where you can set up and run the backend of your business so that you can automate a lot of things and spend more time doing what you want to do, and less time on the backend of your business. So that's, that's the short version of what coaches console is.
William Forchion:Okay. So, you know, I'm just gonna say that the owners and folks of coaches counsel are gonna be very happy with you for not just say we were great, right? And also, I will also add that I am on coach's console now. That's how I was introduced to Stephanie. So just to be as open as possible, and yet this is not a sales pitch for the company.
Unknown:Yeah, so how I got to Coaches console was, I worked in the restaurant industry for almost 20 years. And one of what I call my superpowers is turning chaos into calm, selling the restaurant industry. Anyone who's ever worked it knows that it gets chaotic and working in the industry, the more chaotic things got the calmer I got. And so I got asked if I wanted to start working in the support team With coaches console, for that very reason, because people are coming to the support team, they're frustrated, they're can't figure something out. It's not working, whatever the case may be. And they're in that chaotic energy of Oh my God. And so my role as a support person is to calm them down and probably fixed.
William Forchion:And I will say, that's also why we're talking. I don't have I don't necessarily escalate, like you came in with a de escalation strategy of, okay, here's what we're going to work on. Bam, bam, bam, bam, and you just handled it. And with proficiency, that just floored me because you are, look, you were already three steps ahead of how we're gonna solve this thing. And I was like, Okay, this is somebody who's totally on their game. And that what I didn't get that you were on the game of coaches console, I got you on, you're this. You're working in shamanic fields, and you're like, your spirit guides are telling you Oh, you need to check this out. You need to handle this. And you were handling it?
Stephanie Burger:Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So you know, the more chaos, the calmer I get, and the more I can do. So that's, that's my superpower. And then I wear a sales hat. I'm on the sales team. So I have those conversations. And my ultimate goal is getting you clear on your decision. Are you a hell yes. Are you? Oh, hell no. And getting that clarity, my philosophy is sales is let's, let's come to a clear decision. And if you're not a Hell, yes, then you're no. Like, if you're not 100% Oh, my God, this is it. I have to have it. I'm done. Sign me up. Let's go. Then your your, uh, no. And maybe you're a no, not now. Maybe you're a No, a little later. But I, I just like to help people get clear on that. Where are you? And what is your decision? That's the sales hat. And, people, that's
William Forchion:a tough thing to do. Because you're, you're kind of a gatekeeper, you're sitting there going, Okay, I'm gonna open the door for you. Or now, this is not your door. And I mean, I know there are a lot of people, I'm putting my hand on my chest, because there are a lot of people who have abandonment issues when they and especially when you're dealing with sales, like oh, man, I just turned me away. And have read. I'm also I have the hard, hardest time trying to sell anybody anything. Because I really, truly believe you don't need anything, you are enough as you are. And how do you sell somebody something if you don't really believe they need it? Right? What I've realized is that I'm, you know, I'm not in sales any longer when I if there's something that I want to pitch? It's because I know it will benefit them in ways that it's not selling them anything. Right. You know, I'm not trying to sell you $1 figure, I'm trying to, I'm opening a door for you. And but that door has there's an exchange?
Stephanie Burger:Yes. And the way you know, one way to look at it is I'm not selling you, you are enough. And you know, what happens when you get to your level 10 out of 10? Where do you go from there? And the answer is, you find a new level 10? And how do you get from this level 10 to your new level 10. And one thing I do with sales and with anything is I hold the vision of I can see the next greatest version of your next greatest self. So I hold that vision for you. You may not see it, right, I see the potential that you're at this level 10 And you're like, Well, I made it now what do I do? Let's, here's your next level 10 And I can see the vision of how do you get to that next level? Right? So you are enough and how do you to the next greatest version,
William Forchion:Okay. So I'm gonna I'm gonna do like a right hand turn or a left hand turn at this point right now. You have vision, you have clarity on where you are. Now you have sobriety, you have a bunch of hats hanging on hooks that you can put on at different times. Sales, Marketing support. How did you get here? How did you get to where you are? College? High School? Where'd you grow up? Family?
Stephanie Burger:Oh, yeah. So I I have a minister for a father and a teacher for a mother. And I have always been the person when somebody is like, this is the path you travel. I'm that person. That's like, that's nice and boring. I think I'm going to go this way.
William Forchion:Oh my goodness. I'm laughing so hard. So
Stephanie Burger:I am always the you know, everybody's like, this is the straight path you take and I'm like, Nope, I'm gonna turn and turn. Mine is very curvy and hilly. And
William Forchion:are you the youngest or the oldest of the family.
Stephanie Burger:I'm the youngest.
William Forchion:Aha, okay.
Stephanie Burger:I'm the youngest. Yeah. Because that's my been my whole life. It's when people say, this is how you should do it. I'm like, I think there's a better way for me. And I find that better way I went to college. And after two semesters was like, a waste of my time, I have zero clue what I want to do with my life. It's a waste of my time. It's a waste of my money. It's a waste of these people's time. So I left college. And that's how I got into the restaurant industry. And I absolutely loved the restaurant industry. Like that was my gig for years, obviously, almost 20 years. And then I left the restaurant industry because of the hours I was tired of the hours, not the job, but the hours. And I same time I got into the coach's console, and my dream job was always I want to work from home. Like, my dream job was to work from home. And here's coaches constantly, like here's this opportunity. You can work online from anywhere you can work from home. And I'm like, they're like, measure the pros and cons. I'm like, there are no cons. I mean, there probably are. But the Pro is, this is my dream job. This is a company I know is company I believe in and I get to work from home, and I have a laptop will travel as long as I have internet I can work. So I was yes, this was this was my dream job was to find a job. I could work from home, whatever that was. And my other thing that I wanted to do was, I wanted to help people. And I for the longest time I thought that had to be this big splash in the world, right? Like my head said, my name had I had to make a big, I had to be super rich, I had to make a big I had to that was the only way I was going to be successful. And then one day I realize you want to work from home and you want to make a difference in people's lives. I do that. It's not big. It's not splashy, but the difference I'm making people's lives now is huge for them,
William Forchion:right? Yes, it is.
Stephanie Burger:So, its like you know, the smallest thing, have you come to me and you're like, I just want to do this one thing in this stupid system, and it's not working. And five minutes later, you're like, Oh, I got it now. And that's it and your business is flourishing. And that's like, so it doesn't have to be big. It doesn't have to be splashy, it doesn't have to be worldwide known.
William Forchion:And I get that. Yeah. Because I as a four years, I would help people. And folks say, Well, you should be doing this, you should be and I was like, No, I'm doing what I want to be doing right now. And I didn't care to be a celebrity I didn't care to be your My name to be known. And what I my really deeply held for me was I am giving power to a Nobel Prize winner, a celebrity a, you know, like I what I do is really important, because everyone you look up to has had a me behind me. And that to me is great. You don't have to know who I am. I know who I am. Right. Right. Exactly. Exactly. And you know, and that's, that's one of the things like we just finished this big launch, I do a lot of work behind the scenes to make everything happen, like seamlessly, so that people that sign up, huge. It just happens for you. And I there's a lot of work that happens in the background. But like, you don't need to know how much work happens in the background, as long as your experience is, like smooth and seamless and amazing. Then everything I did in the background is completely 1,000% worth it to me. I don't need you to know that, oh my god, Stephanie spent hours doing this and this and this and this, you know that it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. As long as your experience is amazing. Then I have done my job. And I'm like, Yes, that's, that's what needs to happen. So I've worked in film and television production. And because of the way we are now where things are all virtual looking. So one of the things happens on these virtual events. Your yours was a three day event. And it ran seamlessly, smoothly and seamlessly. It's ran smoothly. What in a film or a television show. There's all the credits and run afterwards of who was involved on a virtual event. It just ends and we don't know, all the the the behind the scenes folks and how they just they glued it together and stitched together. We see the face in front and it's for me I just I'm so impressed. I'm I love doing my little research. I'm looking back on Oh, that was an edit. I mean, they got multiple cameras. Okay, and then, and her eyeline is always right. So there's got somebody who's working on eyelines Wait a minute music just kicked in. There's ambient sound that's going up and there's going down. I was like, Oh no, and you knew when to put on a dance break and and it went and it didn't change it didn't? If no The effect on the flow was that it worked with the flow, whether it were there brought it down to a contemplative place where it picked us up to get up and dance place or you know that to me, I go, Whoa, this is a team.
Stephanie Burger:That's yeah, the dance breaks. I am the dance break diva on our team. That's right, diva. That's my name. That's my nickname. Um, but that's another thing for me is I, that's another hat I wear and I love that hat. Music for me has always been an emotional journey. And I can hear a song. And we do the dance breaks purposefully. But I can hear a song. And when I hear it, I instantly go back to oh my god, I experienced this thing at this time in my life. And I remember that feeling. And so when I hear the song years later, yes. I'm like, Oh, my God, and I crank it up. And because I'm like, Oh, my God, I remember. And it brings back the whole feeling of that experience. So when we do the dance breaks, and we bring you up, you know, big purposes, this is a thing that you need to remember. And the feeling of doing this thing. So we dance it, you dance it, you experience it. So from now on, we you hear that song? I guarantee it from now on when you hear Wings by Little Mix, you're gonna think of that. Well, other thing I mean, yes,
William Forchion:I do. I get that. Yeah. As I'm working in the theatre and circus industry. One of the things I talk about is, you know, you hear about muscle memory. And when you take that song, and that moment, you're and when you put it into motion, you're actually locking into the muscles of not just your not your head, but your whole body. That moment in time is going into muscle memory. And I will say to you, there was the moment that there was no turning back for me is there's a song. That is an indicator for me that it's like a beacon. Your goals. This is the path you need to be on this path. And it's India Irie. I am light. Yeah. When I heard that, I was like, Ah, I'm in. I'm in. I'm in. I'm
Stephanie Burger:on that site. Oh my god. I love that song. Yeah, I love that song.
William Forchion:That there was that moment. I was like, Ah, man, I'm crying. Here. And I was like, ah
Stephanie Burger:awesome. Yay. And also my then I what I do, there's a difference. There's that. It's And what's funny is that was just on the playlist. Like that wasn't included in like the actual things that was just, but to, you know, to play that song. And for you to I have no idea that that song was your bacon. But to make sure that was included. Like I love the fact I love that synchronicity that pulls the right people at the right time.
William Forchion:Right. When the when the spirits move us, we don't necessarily have to know. Yeah, the wise and all that behind it. We faith is that we move forward with it purposefully. And that it resonates head, heart and gut in a way that we know that this is a loving path. Yes. I when I asked you about your birth order, when you started so much of what you said. I'm like, oh, man, oh, you know, people talk about birth order. And I'm the youngest. And if you talk to anyone in the family, cousins and all that they're gonna say, oh, yeah, yeah, Billy. Oh, yeah. You put you tell him where not to go. Guess where he's going? I'm gonna go I'm gonna say but a we sitting here looking when the view from over there is gonna be something else. So different and so
Stephanie Burger:cool. Yeah, yeah, exactly. Yeah. I and I did, you know, kind of go back to I did the same thing with my sobriety. And like I had, you know, had therapists. And we were talking one day and I was like, you know, because with when you start doing a and all that they're like, get a sponsor do the steps bla bla bla bla bla, and I'm like, okay, so I got a sponsor, and I started doing the steps. And then my sponsor moved away. And I had to get a new sponsor in like, month and a half. I looked for a new sponsor, and nobody, like just nobody. And I said, I'm talking to my therapist, and I was like, what is happening? She was like, what if you think of it this a different way? She's like, what if you don't get a sponsor, and you figure out how this works in a different way, so I realized that I didn't have to do it the way everybody else was doing it. I could find my own path and I did find my own path. And so I found this community of women and the moment I entered this community, I was like, This is it. This is what I've been missing. So I kept that community and still and part of it today. And so it's it was for me instead of the straight and narrow a path. This is how you do it. I was like, I'm gonna take what works for me for This group from the egg group, and I'm going to take what I need from this community of women and combine them. And that gave me my perfect path. So my path doesn't look like everybody else's. Obviously nothing. It's never done that. But I, I figured out my own, perfect for me little path and world. And when you found
William Forchion:your path, there will be a time, just like right now where you can share with others who might think who might actually look go, oh, you know, I've tried doing this thing and it's not working out. And you are a beacon to say, You know what there might there are other paths.
Stephanie Burger:There's different ways. Yeah, it may be tough to Yeah,
William Forchion:you can do this. Yeah, courage, man. Look where I am. I'm five years, you can do it too.
Stephanie Burger:And I, one of the things I learned early on was, there's so much stigma and shame attached to addiction. And so anytime somebody said something to the effect of Oh, you don't drink, why? I proudly stated why I don't drink. I am in recovery from alcoholism. And this is my story. Should you want to hear it? Because, you know, everybody's like, Oh, that only happens to the bomb under the bridge on the streets, right? Or? Or the poor people who live on the wrong side of the tracks? No, it's no, like addiction is not picky. And I really want to help be a part of getting rid of the stigma and the shame, there's, there's no shame in it, there's no, there should be no stigma attached to it. It's, it's a thing. It's part of this world, it is always going to be part of this world. And there is no shame in making a change in your life, and becoming sober and right
William Forchion:in that path to point where you got to where you're saying no more. That was also purposeful. That was also a learning tool. Your mother was a teacher, you know, that was teaching you something. And whether it's about self, whether it's about what you want in your life, what you don't want in your life. It there was teaching that was done through that. And there's also that point of where I have to honor the teacher. It may be a path that didn't serve me very, very well. But I still honor that that path. got me to where I am. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. You don't need to hear this. But I'm saying anyway, hey, I'm very sad. Grateful for your choices. I am proud of your stepping in your life in such a purposeful way, and making a difference. And by doing so, making a profound difference in the world. Thank you. I'd love to hear that. I do need to hear it. I do. I do need to hear it. And people think you don't need to hear it. But it always you're like, Okay, that was great. I love to hear things like that. I love to hear I love it. To know that you make a difference. You're making a difference. Yeah. And I would also point out that when I asked you to be on this podcast, you're like, Huh. Because you make a difference. And yes, you're making a difference in my world, and you do what the support, but you, I want people to know that you know what, there's a path, they think, oh, I want to be this celebrity. I want to be Taylor Swift. I want to be this. Hey, Stephanie Berger, has followed a path that is purposeful, and meaningful. And that others you are a trailblazer for so many others. And and it's really important for others to go, you know what, I'm not fault. You know, college didn't work for me. And I did this and I did that. I'm not, it's not because I'm not something. It's because I'm going I am becoming more me. And in that path, I'm doing this thing.
Stephanie Burger:Yeah. And I do it. I do it my way. And there's, you know, cool trial and error. Trial and error, you're like, Oh, that is the wrong direction. You need to kind of turn back a little bit. So there's trial and error. There's ups and downs, but not when you find that you take that step and you're like this, this is the right direction.
William Forchion:How do you personally, how have you kept yourself and maybe you don't you haven't figured this out yet. Keep yourself from beating yourself up
Stephanie Burger:on a daily thing. That's a daily battle is a daily battle and there there's holes that I've learned in a there's tools in the other community that I found I have my therapist, learning to recognize the voice in my head that is I'm not good enough. That's the wrong decision. Who do you think you are? So learning to recognize those and sometimes they get out of hand and you're like, Ah, finally you're like, Okay, wait timeout because that's not true. And it's not but it's a lot it's, it's, you know, For a long time I've some of the tools I've used are daily gratitudes. And I have journals that just free write, I literally will just sit down and start writing and the stuff that comes on I'm like, oh my god, like, you go back and read it. And you're like, Wow, that was all in my head. And you realize, okay, so here's that little, I'm not enough food, you think you are kind of voice? And how can I reframe that? And reframing? That is an exercise just like going to the gym. It's the the constant reframing of the same phrase, that's gonna beat yourself up. How do I reframe that? So I'm not beating myself up? And how do I make that? I am enough. I am. This is who I am. Kind of. So that is an exercise that I've I still work on daily, right now work on it daily.
William Forchion:My mother used to get on me big time. And she would hear me because I would say out, you know, I'd say those things are going on, I would speak him out because I didn't I didn't know it was It wasn't helpful to me. And she would just she would sit there patiently and she say, can you hear yourself? Yeah. Would you allow? Would you allow anyone in this world to say the same thing about you? No, no? Would you? Would you accept it? If your friends said to you what you're saying to you? Yeah. So as you would say, you need to be a better friend to yourself. You need
Stephanie Burger:another another thing? Yeah. Someone said this, to me, picture your five year old self sitting in a chair in front of you. Would you say these things to her? And the answer is Could God no? Like, why would I do that to her? And they're like, why do you do it to adult you? Um, so you know, that is one of those. When I when I hear those things that have those thoughts, it's what I say this to my five year old me, and what would I say is that to my five year old me?
William Forchion:Well, so and that's also it's great for me to hear and terrible for me to hear that I'm not alone in this,
Stephanie Burger:that and there's you know, there's so many people I know, so many people are like, Oh my god, I do the same thing to myself. And I'm like, it's just it happens. It's pizza, how people are. A lot of people feel that way. Some of
William Forchion:it is that we're, even though we don't think you think, Oh, I'm getting all tongue tied here. You had a pastor and a teacher, both to teacher and Scripture teacher in education. And we have other teachers out there that are also teaching us things that are not beneficial to us. Right. And, and some of those things we take on it is how we do the negative speak to ourselves, you know, and one of it hit me there's a motivational speaker Yohannes. And he pointed out, one of the, one of our greatest teachers that we don't even give credit to, is the radio, we listen to songs that deprecate ourselves and talk down about who we are and, and, and, and we'll accept it, and we sing it. We don't even like it when we first hear. But after a while, we start singing because the Diddy was really good to tune was really good. And we're teaching ourselves to diminish ourselves. And it's funny because I turned off my radio for a month. And I was just my vibration was so much higher. When I wasn't thinking about, Oh, you know, whatever. I'm an idiot, or this is I'm there's nothing because I don't have this person in my life. Right?
Stephanie Burger:Yeah. Yeah. So
William Forchion:important to what information? And I always say, it's important what we ingest, we think about ingesting is just the food.
Stephanie Burger:But yeah, but no information we hear. Yeah. Yeah. Social media. Like, you know, there's the perfect picture on Facebook. And then you go to the house and see the behind the scenes and what is this over here? Because you just showed me this. And what is this? You know, you're like so yeah, I think you know, and it becomes it's so easy to for us, I believe like it's so easy to accept the negatives and not believe the positive.
William Forchion:Yes, there. We too often. We're like, Oh, you think I suck? Yeah, I agree with you. Yeah. Oh, you think I'm awesome? I don't think so. Like that's what is that like that one I learned a while back is when someone compliments you. Say that's a great shirt did not Oh, this old rag you know, like, what? Or your hair looks like it's got more curl to it. Oh, that like, Oh, thanks for noticing. You know, like, yeah, just be able to take that and sit with it for a moment. Say thank you.
Stephanie Burger:And that was yeah, that community of women, one of the things I learned in that community was the only response to a compliment is Thank you. It's true. And it's, oh my god, did you do something with your hair looks amazing. And I'm like, thanks. It's true. They don't need to know that you didn't do anything different. They don't. Nobody needs to know that this shirt has been mined for 15 years. They're like, Oh, my God, I love that top. Thank you. Right. I love it, too. So I
William Forchion:I'm wearing it right now. Because own it.
Stephanie Burger:that's why I'm wearing it. It looks amazing on me. Thanks. Yeah, that's the hardest thing.
William Forchion:Because we're also told that it's selfish. I'm selfishly taking that compliment. No, I'm so full. I'm filling myself with that compliment with that love with that joy. And because when I'm full, everyone benefits. Right, right. when I'm, when I'm less, I can't even support myself in a community.
Stephanie Burger:You I fully believe that you, you can't deplete yourself and raise people up, you have to raise yourself and to raise people up, I fully believe that you have to fill your own cup, and then give up the overflow. You cannot give of your cup, because it just gets, you're just gonna end up with an empty cup. But you fill your cup and give the overflow you have an abundance to get you can never stop giving.
William Forchion:Oprah says that one all the time. I'm going to quote, Oprah here, fill your cup and let others drink from the saucer. Yes, well, what overflows and fills that saucer is what is for others because you have to remain full. If you're depleting yourself, then you're going to wear at some point, you're going to be just just shy of empty. Not only that, but you can't give your full self if you're not full. No. And people deserve your full self. Right? They deserve your full self. So if you're not full, you're giving them 20% 30%. That's not fair to you. It's not fair to them. No. So yeah, Oh, my goodness, we could I have a feeling I could talk to you for hours. And I would have just started headed towards the close here. And one of the questions I like to ask folks, is, if you could go back and tell your younger self, some words of wisdom, or just speak to your younger self, about the path ahead? What would you say?
Stephanie Burger:People ask me this? And I don't know. So here's my answer, buckle up, it's gonna be a hell of a ride, there's bumps, there's wrongs, there's rights, it's gonna be a hell of a ride, and it's gonna be worth it in the end. And I say that, you know, a lot of people are like, Oh, I would go change this. And I would go check, I wouldn't change as a single step I made. Because any single stuff that's changed, does not put me where I am today. So to my younger self, I would say buckle up, it's gonna be a hell of a ride. And we're just getting started. And, and it's all worth it. So that's, that's what I would say to her.
William Forchion:What I would say to your younger self is, you are so full of courage. Believe in that. And keep doing what you do courageously. I cry when I think about me younger me making some of those choices where you got laughed at where you got teased and picked on. And I also look at where that led to and go, Wow, you know, you endured that and you celebrated in these other things. So if you could go ahead to yourself 40 years into the future, and pass on something to them, or ask them something, either pass it on or ask them what would it be?
Stephanie Burger:Well, that's a new one. Huh? I would I would ask, I would literally just want to know, was it all worth it? Was everything worth it? That's all I want to know. That's it.
William Forchion:Oh, my goodness. Thank you, Stephanie. Berger, thank you so much for taking the time. This has been fabulous. Your radiance has come through in such magnificent ways. I see rainbows from your radiance. It's just so so magnificent than that. And I know you probably hear that all the time. Oh, thank you. Thank you. Thank you. What you've said shows me who you are. And who you are is magnificent. Notch the doing you the being you know who you are in that being right there. And that just that's really phenomenal.
Stephanie Burger:I was I was super nervous because never I'm the behind the scenes girl. So you know doing this saying yes to this was so out of my comfort zone and I was like I am going to do this because why not step out of your comfort zone from time to time and because you made it so easy to say yes. And it was my absolute pleasure to do this and have this conversation share with you and be here. It's my absolute pleasure.
William Forchion:Oh, I'm just I'm like I'm just so full of joy. I'm so full of joy. And I'm glad grateful that you did say yes. And I just have enjoyed spending this time with you. Thank you again Stephanie Burger for joining me here on Billosophy 101. And for those of you listening, please remember to move forward with passion and purpose. And every morning and every night. Say to yourself, I am enough. Have a great day. We'll catch you later on Billosophy 101.
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