317 - How To Restore Parenting Time After False Allegations

The lie gets declared unfounded, the TRO gets dismissed, and your nervous system finally unclenches. Then your attorney leans in and says the words that can cost you years: “Let’s look reasonable and do a step up plan.” We’re not letting that happen. We break down why the 48 hours after exoneration are a strategic crossroads in family court, and how “reasonable increases” can turn a temporary CPS investigation into a permanent downgrade of your custody and parenting time.

We walk through the core idea in plain English: when restrictions were imposed only as a precaution, the moment the allegation is cleared the baseline must reset to what it was before. No begging. No slow ramp. We use a simple analogy to make it stick, then explain how family law incentives and the power of status quo push judges toward the easiest pattern to maintain, especially in high conflict divorce and parental alienation dynamics.

From there, we get concrete. We talk about Time Taken Time Back reforms like Texas SB 718 and Oklahoma SB 1723, and how to demand compensatory parenting time even if your state hasn’t passed a statute yet. We also hit the second trap: staying out of the marital home after an ex parte order is lifted. That choice can bleed you financially and hand the other side the physical fortress that shapes custody outcomes.

You’ll leave with a direct script for coaching your divorce attorney and a clear list of motions to discuss immediately: emergency restoration of the pre-allegation schedule, compensatory makeup time, re-entry and exclusive possession of the home, and where available sanctions and attorney’s fees for knowingly false reports. If this helps, subscribe, share it with a dad who needs it, and leave a review so more fathers can find the playbook.

Transcript

Welcome And Why This Matters

SPEAKER_00 0:52

Hello and welcome to the show. And this week's briefing, Dad, I appreciate you uh tuning in. And I gotta tell you up front, I'm a little bit fired up. I was supposed to record this yesterday after working with a couple of clients, but I had to put it off a day just because I am fired up about this topic that we're gonna talk about today. And so let's let's start the today's episode by talking about, and I know a lot of you are you have experienced this or you are experiencing this in the moment. My couple of clients yesterday were. They both happened to be on the same day, which is what got me fired up. But but talk about uh the moment that the nightmare supposedly ends. What am I talking about? I want you know, picture the day, the exact day you get the call from your attorney, uh, or you get the letter from Child Protective Services or the notification from the court. The investigators finished the file, they've ruled the allegations against you are unfounded, or the judge has sat on the bench, looked at her attorney's empty stack of evidence, and dismissed the temporary protection order. And the lie is officially dead. The false allegation that she has made against you has been proven false. Now, in that moment, I know it was for me, your natural human reaction is going to be an overwhelming sense of relief, completely natural, right? And it should be to some extent, because I'm sure it was hellish. You're gonna feel like you can finally take a full breath of air for the first time in weeks or maybe even months, the weights off your chest, and then you you think to yourself in your mind, the truth won, the system worked, now we can finally go back to normal. Okay. But I need you to listen to me carefully because what happens in the next 48 hours, few days, maybe a week at the most, is where most fathers are going to actually potentially lose their children or lose a significant amount of parenting time. And they don't lose them because of her lies, they lose them because of their own lawyer's advice. You see, in the moment the allegation is cleared, you're still you're at a critical, critical strategic crossroads. You've been probably locked out of your home, you've had your parenting time restricted to maybe supervised visits on Saturday afternoons or something very restricted, or maybe you haven't even seen your kids at all for a month or even more. And you've been completely sidelined while the quote unquote process ran its slow bureaucratic course. And then now you sit down with your lawyer to plan the next move. And what your lawyer does is looks at you, pats you on the back, maybe, and says, Look, hey, we got great results. The the case has been dismissed, but we need to look reasonable to the judge. We don't want to rock the boat. So here's what we're gonna do we'll file a motion uh or we'll talk to uh opposing counsel asking for a gradual step-up plan to slowly increase your parenting time over the next six months. Uh, and we shouldn't ask to move back into the marital

The Post Exoneration Danger Window

SPEAKER_00 4:30

home or demand access right away. That'll make you look combative. Let's just show the court we are cooperative and we'll earn that time back. Dads, I want you to hear me loud and clear. This advice is a strategic trap, and accepting it is a form of legal submission. I'll say that again. This advice is a strategic trap. Accepting it is a form of legal submission. While your attorney tells you to look reasonable by asking to earn your way back into your children's lives, they are starting the negotiation from a hole that your ex dug for you. They are accepting her false allegation as the new baseline for your fatherhood, and they are allowing her manufactured crisis to dictate the terms of your future and your and your kids' future. And I want to give you an analogy, and I and I want you to take this analogy, take it to your attorney and repeat it to them word for word. If a thief, so here's the analogy if a thief walks onto your driveway tonight, hot wires your car, and drives it off, they've stolen your property, right? If the police track that thief down three weeks later, find your car parked in their garage and confirm that the vehicle belongs to you, what happens next? Do you have to sit down with the thief and negotiate a step-up plan to get your car back? Do you have to say, well, let me just drive it on alternate Sundays for two hours? And if I show I'm a safe driver and don't make any waves, don't get any tickets, maybe in six months I can have it on the weekdays too. Hell no, you demand the immediate unconditional return of what is rightfully yours. The thief doesn't get to set the terms of your recovery, and you don't have to prove your fitness to drive your own car just because someone stole it from you. Your children, now, now I get it, your children are not property, but your fundamental right to parent them is a constitutional liberty. When a high conflict opponent uses a false allegation to steal your time, that time was taken by the court only on precaution. That's it. It was not taken because you did something wrong. It was taken as a temporary safety valve while the system checked the facts. And the moment those facts are checked and the allegation is cleared, the precaution is over, done. So the baseline must immediately reset to exactly where it was before the lie was told. If you, let's say if you had 50-50 parenting time before the allegation, you have 50-50 parenting time today. Uh, if you had an equal right, this is the other part, if you had an equal right to live in your own home before she made the false report and before you were removed, you have an equal right to walk through that front door today. You do not ask for reasonable increases. You do not beg for step-up plans. You rightfully, legally, and aggressively demand the immediate restoration of your baseline. Okay. So that was my opening, and that's what I'm fired up about. So today, what we're gonna unpack is the absolute danger of the reasonable increase uh trap. And we're gonna look at the legislative reforms that are that are happening across the country. You've heard me talk about it with the time taken, time back uh stuff with Robert Garza. And and then we're gonna look at why staying out of your home after exoneration is financial and strategic suicide. Uh, and then we're gonna give you the exact conversational scripts and legal motions you have to execute because you are in charge, you are coaching your divorce team that you have to execute to force your attorney into an offensive posture. So let's let's get into this. To understand first and foremost why your lawyer gives such crappy advice in this moment, you have to understand, you have to understand the psycho, the psychology of the family law bar. Most family law attorneys are not fighters. They haven't done any, they haven't worked in a DA's office, they haven't been in front of the judge very often. And then when they got in family law court, when they got into family law, they were in court even less. Only like 5, 10% of cases go to family law. So you think about that, your attorney is rarely uh in trial. They are negotiators. They operate in, and the other part is they operate inside a niche industry where their long-term professional relationships with judges and opposing counsel are often more important to their daily life than the outcome of your specific case. I make this example all the time. They're not going home, spreading out your case on their dining room table and trying to strategize around this, like you see on TF, on TV with CSI

Car Theft Analogy And Baseline Reset

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and all these other shows. They are not. They are socialized to seek a compromise. They want to appear reasonable to the judge because they probably have three other cases in front of that same judge next week. And they don't want to be labeled as difficult or combative. Andor they're gonna see that that other uh opposing counsel again, or and or they're going to be working with those evaluators or gals or anybody else again. Uh so when your false allegation is cleared, your attorney's instinct is to find the path of least resistance to settle this case. Go it's back to their default. They look at the fact that you've been living in an apartment for maybe three months or however long, or somewhere temporarily, and that the kids have been primarily with their mother during the investigation. And they think, well, the kids are adjusted to this now. If we ask to suddenly flip the schedule back to 50-50 or demand he moved back in the house, the other side will fight. The judge will get annoyed by the conflict, it'll take months to get to a trial. Let's just propose a step up plan. It looks nice, it sounds child-centered, and most importantly, it's an easy sell. That's the key. It's an easy sell. But what your lawyer is completely ignoring is the power of the status quo, especially in high conflict. And you hear me talk about this constantly. Family court is an efficiency-driven risk avoidance machine. It's designed to copy patterns. If you agree to the step-up plan, that starts you at every other weekend and gradually increases your time over six months. You're voluntarily consenting to a stricted parenting schedule. That becomes your baseline. That's your start. And while you're slowly earning your way back to 50-50, that calendar is running. The months are ticking away. And during those six months, your kids are adjusting to life where mom's the primary parent and dad is the visitor. And by the time your step-up plan is supposed to reach equal time, her attorney has already established, or maybe even filed a motion to modify. And they'll they'll stand in front of the judge and say, Your Honor, the children have been in this routine for nearly a year now, maybe. They're thriving, they're stable, it'll be highly disruptive to their development to suddenly introduce a 50-50 schedule now. The current argument is working. And what can you say? It's it's it's likely to be fundamentally true, right? And then the judge looks at his docket of uh or her docket at 120% capacity, and they want to get to lunch, and we'll agree. I find that the current parenting schedule is serving the children's best interests. And I see no substantial change in circumstance to warrant a disruption. It is easier to sideline a father that has not fought than it is to have to go the other route and listen to things and figure out what is actually in the best interest of the kids. So by trying to look reasonable in the short term, your lawyer just let a temporary false accusation define your permanent legal reality. You did not earn your time back. You let them use the passage of time to codify your erasure. Let me say that again because this is so this is the point is you did not earn your time back. So trying to earn it, you're not gonna, you all you did is you let that passage of time, that reasonableness, codify your erasure and get rid of your parental authority. And this is why you have to reject this step-up narrative on principle. A step-up plan is designed for parents who have a history of unfitness or a history of substance abuse or a history of absence from their children's life. It is a rehabilitative tool. And if a fail if you have been exonerated from a false allegation, there is nothing to rehabilitate. If you're a fit, present father, and the only reason you are separated was this allegation, you've been cleared, you do not need rehabilitation. You do not need you not need to have a parenting, you don't have a parenting deficiency to correct. There's nothing there. All you have is a civil liberty that was temporarily infringed upon. And the moment that infringement is lifted, lifted, the restoration must be total and complete. And so you guys have heard me in the intro, but you've heard weeks and weeks that this exact legislation is the battle that one of the battles that Robert Garza fought during his 16 years of his divorce. If you haven't heard that, go back. It's a probably a month or two now since since we've we've talked with Robert. But and it's the reason that he created one of his bills called Time Taken, Time Back. And just briefly again, Robert's story is he survived 43 false allegations. Every single one was ruled out. But every time an allegation was filed through the proxy chain of mandatory reporters, the court would immediately strip his parenting time, right, out of that precaution, risk mitigation. And then he would go weeks or months without seeing his kiddos while it was investigated. And then every time the investigation concluded, the claim was unfounded, he'd go back to court and ask for the lost time to be returned. And every time they would say to him, you know, no, let's just move forward and hit the reset button. Or his lawyer would save the issue of makeup time for final trial, and then he just lost all of that time. And it was actually like nearly three years of parenting time in that that he lost because of these precautionary court decisions that were never made up. That was time stolen, and the system refused to return it to him. So what he realized is that this is a fundamental human right issue and an attack on civil liberties. And God bless him, because he did, and he's make taking this fight to the courts. And it's just the the states are literally taking your children away on precaution and then refusing to return

Why Family Lawyers Push Compromise

SPEAKER_00 15:55

the time once you are cleared. And that is the state actively participating in the alienation of your children and allowing accusers to profit from their own deception. So what he did is he drafted, this was the first, the first one that got passed, Texas Senate Bill 718, time taken, time back law. It passed unanimously in 2023. And it flips the burden of truth. So if a parent's court order time is denied or restricted due to precautionary order for an investigation that is subsequently cleared, the court must order additional parenting time to compensate for the lost time. And then the law is also working through some other places across the country as well. In Oklahoma, in January, they introduced the Senate Bill 1723 as the Oklahoma Time Take and Time Back Act. And under this bill, party can show good cause why it shouldn't happen. The court is and is standard is statutorily mandated to award compensated compensate compensatory compensatory parenting time of the exact same type and a duration as the time that was uh that was denied. And the ultimate victory here of this particular law is the parent who is denied the time gets to choose the makeup schedule so they can do it on weekends, holidays, back to the summer blocks with within a two-year window. So it has to happen within a certain time frame, which is great. It's a complete game changer because what it does is these laws remove the tactical incentive to lie. Now, as Roberts talked about, lying is perjury. So there is the ability to refer this perjury to a criminal court from family law court. It just never ever happens. So that's why changing these laws absolutely just flips the script on this, because that old system, the high conflict spouse is motivated to make a false report. And they make the false report because even if they get caught, they're successfully able to get three months of exclusive custody, disrupt your bond, and then the process itself and the damage itself happens, or the the damage itself happens during the process and that time taken away. That's the reward. So they get rewarded for it, right? But the time taken time back, the moment that they know now, and and this is why it's a deterrent. Once the allegation is cleared, she's gonna have to surrender a massive consecutive block of her own parenting time to make you whole. To the rebuilt bond is the mandated law, right? So the weapon has been neutralized because the cost of firing it is now paid out of her own parenting time. So even if you do not live in Texas or Oklahoma, you need to instruct your attorney to fight using these exact same principles. You cannot and do not accept the reset button, and you do not let them say, let's just move forward, right? You instruct your lawyer to file a motion for immediate restoration of your parenting time in a matching motion for compensatory makeup time for every single hour, overnight, and holiday that was stolen from you while the lie was active. You make the other side argue to a judge why a fit, exonerated father should not be allowed to rebuild his bond with his children. You force the system to put its refusal in writing. And I know, guys, for some of you that are nice guys that don't want conflict, I'm telling you, the conflict has already come to you. You don't have a choice, and you have got to stand up now. If you don't, you are going to defer that fight to later because they're gonna keep using stuff and strategies like this going forward. I promise you. Now, let's address the second equally dangerous trap, and that is the house. If you're kicked out of your home on an ex parte temporary restraining order based on false allegations, the moment that order is dismissed, your lawyer is going to tell you, don't try to move back in. It's too volatile. You've already got an apartment or you've already got somewhere to stay. Let's just focus on the custody schedule and handle the house during uh the final asset division. Total crap. It's a it is a catastrophic financial and strategic error. By staying out of the marital home after you've been cleared, you are voluntarily surrendering your property rights and allowing her to establish the exclusive use of the home by default and based upon a lie. So think about what is happening on the ground. She's living in the home. You are likely still paying the mortgage on, she is running the household, while you're draining your legal fund runway, paying rent on a temporary place, apartment, Airbnb, whatever, and double utilities. And more importantly, you're allowing her to establish the physical status quo for the children. The court looks at the house and says, Well, the children have been living in their familiar bedrooms in their familiar neighborhood, attending their familiar school with their mother for the last six months. It would be highly disruptive to force a sale or move right now. So we're gonna give the mother exclusive use of the home until final orders, or maybe until the, you know, if it's bad, until the youngest child graduates or whatever. Sometimes see some crazy crap. Anyway, you you just lost your largest in most cases, your largest asset. And then you're locked into paying a mortgage for a house you can't enter, and you've handed her the physical fortress from which she'll continue to gatekeep your parenting time, or maybe even begin the alley uh the alienation. So the the and this so what has to happen the second, the very second, the false allegation is dismissed, you get that notice, or the attorney calls you, you've got to file an emotion, an emergency motion for re-entry and exclusive possession of the marital home. Yes, exclusive possession for you. And I'm gonna explain this here in a minute. You do not ask for her permission, you do not negotiate a move back date. Hey, she didn't negotiate removing you ex parte, right? Why are you going to negotiate a move back date? You present the court with the dismissed allegation, and you say I was removed from my home solely on the basis of a fraudulent claim. Claim. That claim has been disproven. My right to occupy my property and parent my children in their familiar environment must be restored immediately. If the conflict is too high for both of you to live under the same roof, you don't say, okay, I'll stay at my apartment. You ask the judge

Time Taken Time Back Explained

SPEAKER_00 23:54

to award you exclusive possession of the home and order her to vacate. Why? Because she is the one who committed fraud against the court. Let me say that again. Why are you going to ask her to vacate? Because she committed fraud against the court. She is the one who demonstrated poor judgment, a willingness to harm the parent-child bond, and an inability to co-parent. The consequences of her litigious behavior and her litigation gainsmanship must be paid by her, not by you. If you do not demand the house back the moment the lie dies, you're telling the judge and the court and her that your displacement was acceptable. You're validating her play. You stay in the home, you occupy your ground, and you force the other side to fund their own high conflict campaign from their own apartment, not from your kitchen. That's what you have to do. Not capitulate. So to execute this counteroffensive, you have to retrain your attorney. Back to the attorney, right? Again, you're the coach of this team. The attorneys are the ones that know the legal process. They're trained to file emotions, get through the court system, etc. They are not trained to strategize. You must move them from a defensive, settle at all costs posture into an aggressive, strategic offensive. And this is the time, guys. This is critical because you're going to flip the script. When you sit down with them after the exoneration, you do not ask them, what do we do now? You walk in with your files and you give them their marching orders. Again, guys, I know this is counterintuitive. Even with the guys like the couple that I was working with yesterday, this is very hard. I know you're not, a lot of you might not be used to taking, you know, taking a stand, number one, but but also taking an initiative and stepping up and saying, okay, this is what needs to be done. But I'm going to give you right now the exact conversational script you can use to set this strategy. That's why I'm here, right, guys? That's what I do with the coaching. That's how I help the dads. I give them the ability and the knowledge and the skills and the scripts and everything to be able to coach that team. So you're going to say, now that the investigation is closed and the allegations have been proven completely false, we are not playing defense anymore. I'm going to accept a, I am not going to accept a step-up plan, and I am not going to negotiate for reasonable increases in my parenting time. That time was stolen from me and my children on a precautionary basis, and the precaution is over. So we are going to file two motions by Friday or whatever. First, an emergency motion to restore my pre-alegation parenting schedule. That might be 50-50. Maybe that's you go back in the home and resume pickups and drop-offs, whatever you're doing with your kids, right? Second, a motion for compensatory makeup time for every single overnight and holiday that was missed while the order was active to be exercised at my selection over the next three months or six months, whatever you decide. Furthermore, we are filing a motion for re-entry and exclusive possession of the marital home. I was removed from my property based on fraud, and I'm demanding my right to occupy my home and order her to vacate, giving her bad faith litigation conduct. And finally, we are filing a motion for sanctions and full reimbursement of my attorney's fees under our state's family code for knowingly filing a false report. I want the cost of her gamesmanship put squarely on her ledger, not mine. Let's draft these motions today. Okay, guys, I know that's a lot. And I'm gonna go uh I'm gonna go back through this for you. This is the exact conversation script you're having. Look, guys, if you number one, if you want to get in contact with me, just get in contact with me, or let's schedule a time at talkwithjude.com. I'll give you this script on our call and we can strategize your triage around this, or you can find the transcript of this on whatever podcast platform and then just copy it from that and then take it. But but I want you to hear this again. I'll say it again. So this is the exact script you're gonna you're gonna say to your attorney once you're exonerated. So now that the investigation is closed and the allegations have been proven completely false, we're not playing defense anymore. I'm not going to accept a step-up plan and I'm not going to negotiate for reasonable increases in my parenting time. The time was stolen from me and my children on a precautionary basis, and the precaution is over. We were filing motions by Friday. First, an emergency motion to restore my pre-alegation parenting schedule of whatever that is at 50-50, whatever. Second, a motion for compens uh compensatory makeup time for every single overnight and holiday that was missed while the order was active to be exercised at my selection over X timeframe, three months, six months. Furthermore, we're filing a motion for re-entry and exclusive possession of the marital home. I was removed from my property based on fraud and now demanding my right to occupy my home and order her to vacate given her bad faith litigation conduct. And finally, we're filing a motion for sanctions and full reimbursement of my attorney's fees under our state's family code for knowingly filing a false report. I want the cost of her gamesmanship put squarely on her ledger, not mine. Let's draft these motions today. All right. Now, you're gonna get a reaction. Lots of times, this reaction is gonna be, but well, have you considered blah, blah, blah? If they start saying, well, the judge might think we're being too aggressive, let's just wait and see. You look them in the eye and you say, being nice is not a legal strategy. Being nice is not a legal strategy. If someone stole my car, you wouldn't tell me to negotiate a step-up plan to drive it. They stole my children's time with their father. And I am demanding its immediate return. If we have to go to a hearing to make the judge refuse us on the record and put that judge on the record, we will go to a hearing. We were not starting this negotiation from a hole that she dug for us on the premise of a false allegation. Draft the motions today. That's it. You are in charge and you are paying them to do what you want them to do. This is the way that you bridge the lawyer gap. You stop letting your attorney's preference for a quiet life dictate your child's history. Now, you have to prove the objective evidence. You got to give the cleared CPS report, the dismissed TRO, your forensic alibi timeline, all of that stuff, and you direct them to execute. If they refuse, if they're too timid to run the offense, fire them. You're gonna fire them and you're gonna hire a litigator who will do that. So let's look at the legal motions your team must file immediately. You cannot just file a generic motion to modify. Okay, you might get that from

Reclaiming The Marital Home Fast

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your attorney. You must target the specific statutory remedies available in your jurisdiction. So you just heard me rattle off, you just heard me rattle off the script to tell your attorney. These are the motions here. I'm gonna lay them out for you. First one, motion for immediate restoration of custody and baseline schedule. This is the motion that must be filed the very day the investigation is closed or the order is dismissed. It argues that the temporary restrictions were precautionary, that the safety concern has been legally resolved, and that continuing any restriction without an evidentiary basis is a violation of your constitutional parent or parental rights. And what I just said there, that's what you tell your attorney. That's the argument that your attorney should be making. It's very simple. And when they do it the right way, a court literally cannot argue it. Number two, the motion for compensatory makeup parenting time. Calculate the exact number of hours and overnights you lost. If your state already has a time taken time back statute, you cite the code directly. If it doesn't, you argue under the general best interest framework. All the states have this best interest framework, right? That restoring the parent-child bond after a period of forced separation is a psychological necessity for the children. And it is. You request that the makeup time be of the exact time, weekends, holidays, whatever that might have been, and that you have the right to select the days. That's number two. Number three, motion for sanctions and attorneys' fees. You present the court with the proof that she knowingly made a false accusation to gain a tactical advantage. You ask the judge to order her to reimbase reimburse 100% of the legal fees you spent defending against the false claim. In some states like California and Colorado, under uh the domestic relations guidelines, the court does have explicit authority to impose heavy financial sanctions on a parent who makes a false report of abuse. Now, I will say this, you may not get this. And I see a lot of time that they lots of times that they just deny this. There's no good reason, but it's an easy one for them to deny to make them look like they're good with the with the with the with the with the other side. Uh, and they can make the argument, well, you know, they had legitimate concerns, blah, blah, blah. It's usually BS, but you know, the the feeling concerns, you know, I felt, you know, I felt threatened, or I felt whatever other BS that they that they quote unquote felt the the court will take into consideration. But so on this one, don't be surprised, dads, if if you don't get it. The fourth one now. That was the third one. The fourth one, motion first, sole decision making, and custody modification. In these extremely high conflict cases, a proven false allegation is evidence of the accuser's inability to co-parent. This is key. This is where you're flipping the script now, guys. The law in almost every state says that a parent who is willing to make false claims to alienate the child from the other parent, by definition, acting contrary to the is by definition, acting contrary to the child's best interests. And you file to modify the permanent orders immediately, arguing that her conduct her conduct represents a substantial change in circumstances, great, because you have to have a substantial change of circumstances, and that transferring primary custody or soul decision making to you is the only way to protect the children from her parental alienation. You turn her silver bullet into the very weapon that strips her of control. Think about it this way, guys. I'm gonna wrap it up with this. Again, I'm gonna use the analogy of the of your of the car of uh of you getting something getting stolen from you. If someone broke into your business tonight, locked you out of the building, and stole your inventory, you wouldn't sit down with them next week and negotiate a step-up plan to get 5% of your stock back next week. You wouldn't hire a lawyer to write a polite letter asking if you can visit your office on alternate Saturdays. You would treat it as a theft. You would execute an immediate aggressive plan to recover every single asset that belongs to you. In your divorce, your children's time has been stolen from you based on a lie. The moment that lie was cleared, the theft was exposed. But instead of reclaiming your baseline, you're letting your lawyer negotiate a step-up plan that treats you like you have to earn back what is already

Scripts And Motions To File Now

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yours. You're negotiating with a thief. Think of it that way. You cannot navigate, you know. So if you think about it that way, and if you reframe it in your mind that way, then I this oftentimes this helps dads to get past that nice guy that I want to lower the temperature, I just want to cooperate, just want to get this settled, blah, blah, blah. You've got to understand. And and and I'll say, this is detrimental and this is abusive to your kiddos when somebody executes and does this. Okay, it's not just impacting you negatively, which I know that you're feeling and you're dealing with. This is damaging your children, and that is why it is incumbent upon you to fight in what is fight for what is in the best interest of your kiddos. So make that reframe in your mind. And just know, guys, navigating this on your own is unbelievably difficult. And you cannot afford to let these permanent compromises be made while you're emotionally exhausted and operating under cognitive strain. That is why we've created the divorced advocate community. That's why we do the coaching to help you stand your ground, reject something like these stupid step-up traps, uh, and demand and demand your original baseline. So if you want to discuss this, like I said earlier, we've got I've got the free consultations. It's talkwithju.com. He'll get directly into my calendar. If this stuff is happening to you, if you're in the middle of it, let's talk about triaging and how you get out of it and then how you flip the script with this. If you're just done with this and you're hearing this BS from your attorney, or if you've already agreed to this BS from your attorney, let's talk about how to fast track this to a different track and and and get you back the time that you need before this calcifies into a permanent order. So talkwithju.com is where you can schedule directly into uh into my calendar. Dads, your children don't need a nice guy who accepted a visitor schedule just because you got you got burnt out or became too tired to fight. They need a father who stands his ground. They are watching you. You are modeling for them. Reclaim your role and reclaim your home and reclaim your parental authority. Dads, I hope you found some value in this today. I know it's a big one. It's again a lot of information, but that's why I'm here. That's why the community's here. Connect with us. Please leave us a star rating. Share us on social media. Leaving a comment is even better. And let's just keep getting that word out, dads. Thank you so much. Stay strong. God bless, and we'll talk next week.