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The Trombone Retreat
The Trombone Retreat
The Best Use of Trombone During the Apocalypse
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Who knew that finding a suitable name for a podcast could take us on a roller coaster of creativity? Nick and Sebastian sift through all of your brilliant suggestions. We also talk about trombone MacGyver moments in the clutch, trombone google keyword news, submitted questions about breaking in a slide, gripe of the week, how a trombone is best used as a weapon, Bach therapy, beauty in the world and most likely more.
Also introducing special features with Patreon: www.patreon.com/tromboneretreat
Learn more about the Trombone Retreat and upcoming festival here: linktr.ee/tromboneretreat
Hosted by Sebastian Vera - @js.vera (insta) and Nick Schwartz - @basstrombone444 (insta)
Produced and edited by Sebastian Vera
Music: Firehorse: Mvt 1 - Trot by Steven Verhelst performed live by Brian Santero, Sebastian Vera and Nick Schwartz
Thank you to our season sponsor Houghton Horns: www.houghtonhorns.com
Support the show
Hello and welcome back to the second installment of. I Don't Know what this Is Called. My name is Sebastian Vera. Hello, Nick Schwartz, how you doing?
Speaker 2John Sebi Vera, john Sebi, vera, john Sebi. Vera is my friend.
Speaker 1Damn, come in hot again, man. So we asked for some submissions on what this here show should be called. And again, if you're tuning in for the first time and you didn't hear our episode last week, we still will have our interviews where you will laugh and cry and get to know people in depth In ponder, in ponder. But in an effort to be more consistent, which is what the people have been asking us to do, we're making more episodes. So in that vein, we had a few submissions on some ideas for what we could call this. Well, we'll see, we'll see. Okay, so here's one. One's called the Spit, with Nick and Sebastian. Get it. It's like Tramone spit. How about shooting the spit? I don't know if I love spit in the title. I know, you know, and there's already a podcast called it's Not Spit, it's Condensation. It's a great one. You should check it out. The one that we submitted from Mr Jim Nova was tips, nips and slips.
Speaker 2All right, I think we got it folks.
Speaker 1Jim, don't submit anything if you don't want us to say it. The green room a little more down the line backstage, not bad. Green room Fifth position Not bad.
Speaker 2What about? Fifth position doesn't exist, you just made it real long though. Fpd.
Speaker 1It sounds like a sci-fi podcast. I don't know. The fifth position's not bad. What about the fifth position? Trumbone lovers. Trumbone's lovers. Yeah. I don't know about that, yeah.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1Our friend Frank Cohen suggested all things rusty.
Speaker 2That's a. I think it's good towards the top, to be honest.
Speaker 1I don't understand. What does that mean, rusty? I don't either.
Speaker 2Maybe we can polish really work it out. You know polish, the brass really slide it in, just really.
Speaker 1Okay, all right. And then our friend Alexis Smith suggested which I think is a dark horse in this race Jonesen for a Bonesen Dark horse.
Speaker 2That's Secretariat, right there, she's screaming.
Speaker 1Obviously, that's the right choice.
Speaker 2Yeah, of course.
Speaker 1Okay, so we might submit have a formal poll on Instagram. If you're not following us on Instagram, we're at Trumbone Retreat on Instagram. Why aren't you? Unless you just are one of those people that is sane and doesn't look at Instagram, Can?
Speaker 2I talk to them directly, real quick.
Speaker 1Yeah.
Speaker 2Hey, meet your buddy Nick.
Speaker 1Oh, I need to put like youth pastor music in the background, like soft acoustic guitar.
Speaker 2Why you be hating Smash that like Smash that follow. Smash that subscribe. Get in there.
Speaker 1Thank you. Thank you, pastor Nick, and yeah, subscribe to the podcast so we get a notification every time. So what's next on our list?
Speaker 2So next segment Hold on hold on real quick, oh please, I think that we can't jump to like naming this podcast or this series so quickly. I think we need you to do one more poll, okay, to give people a chance, because you know we're just we're getting this going. You know, let's do one more poll, let's see what happens, you know, and see if we get some more submissions. And then, you know, we kind of do like, maybe we do like a, like a Insane tournament bracket.
Speaker 1Yeah, a bracket.
Speaker 2Yeah tournament.
Speaker 1A playoff. I like it, man. So I'm sorry I'm just getting here late. I literally drove here this morning from DC. I had opening night two nights ago in Pittsburgh with Flying Dutchman, which was awesome, my first Wagner live opera experience. And then I woke up early and left for DC at like 8am, drove four hours, went straight to the opera there at the Kennedy Center and site read an opera Guno, Romeo and Juliet which was a good one it was. It was honestly my weird self. I just really enjoyed the challenge of the site reading because it was just full of curveballs.
Speaker 2Yeah, that's a tricky one. It doesn't look like much on paper but you get into it and it's. It's got some got some moments you can really step in it.
Speaker 1It was beautiful. I really, I really enjoyed it. And then, of course, you know, to add, add to the challenge, my spit valve just like broke off in the middle of it, which is fun, that's fun. And so I was like, well, I got about 20 bars of rest until my next entrance. So Lee Rogers, who I was sitting next to the principal trombone at the Kennedy Center and a good, good, longtime friend, awesome trombonist, was like I got you and you like grab some tape, like some electrical tape, and we have that. I they just have in the pit. He just like new where to go. You like motion to the principal trumpet and he got it. Take me. I was like, okay, I put tape on it. And of course I had to like pull my slide off for the rest of the opera and just like Dump, dump it all out.
Speaker 1But that's what that's what pros do, it's pros do they get it done. Then I actually got to see your, your. I don't know if I told you I got to see your goodly wife afterwards I heard from her and saw on the Instagrams it warmed my heart. She's. She's there conducting at the Kennedy Center, being a badass as normal, mm-hmm.
Speaker 2Yeah, which was she at that performance?
Speaker 1I can't remember, or did she's no, no, so she's conducting a different opera going on. Well, I meant like I know. But well, I know, I'm just describing to our imaginary people in the audience that's love. Yeah, okay, don't yell at me yeah. So we met a bakery and we just talked about you the whole time.
Speaker 2Isn't he the best? Look at his eyes. Or like little swimming pools.
Speaker 1So, yeah, that was my last 24 hours. Just got home but right back into podcasting, because podcasting is my life, nick.
Speaker 2Podcasting life and life is castin. We probably played Wagner like at the same time I was playing.
Speaker 1Tongue was a very cool, did you do your long tones?
Speaker 2before you played it. Oh yeah, let me tell you this. So okay, this goes out to all brass people.
Speaker 1Well, no, is this like a PS?
Speaker 2PSA Low brass. So for two players maestro singers a big deal. For Trummond players, tom Hoys was a big deal. I've played both. The overture is About all there is to do. It is so boring. Sorry, I didn't say oh.
Speaker 2It's beautiful music. It's beautiful music, both of them, maestro singer. It comes out clocks in just over six hours and it is nine pages of music. In that insane Tom Hoys her is four and a half hours of music and I think it's like 12 pages of music. So there's a little bit more but not much. And the other thing is right at the end, the end of Tom Hoys her. Is this the excerpt that we know is Tom Hoys her, but in E flat, not an E, yeah yeah, flying Dutchman is just over three in my parts, 12 pages.
Speaker 2Yeah, there's not much to do in that one either, but there's some. It's all beautiful music really is, and you know, when you're sitting there in rehearsal, you understand why the conductors need to do all these, for this rehearsal that doesn't involve you, because the strings have one bajillion notes, you know, and it's like by the same time you're sitting there and you're just like you know, like going into a coma slowly my favorite pastime is showing string players how short my part is, though.
Speaker 2I Try to avoid that at all costs, because then they just get really upset.
Speaker 1I think was it. Don Giovanni is one page. Don Giovanni is like two. Magic flute, something like that. Magic flu is more like four pages. Man, you're just like. You're just like a encyclopedia for opera, page length.
Speaker 2If I'm good for one thing, it's how many pages is a part.
Speaker 1Nicholas, we have a submitted question.
Speaker 2Question time Fargo wagon coming in hot.
Speaker 1Oh man, yeah, let's have segment music for every segment. Okay, so our friend Connor coffee, he he messaged on Instagram and he said on the next podcast, can you discuss breaking in a brand new slide? I've been told that this is a thing and I've been told it's not a thing. I was taught to wipe a new slide down every day for the first six months to remove any metal shavings that can cause scratches. I have never heard this at all, so I'm going to you. I take it You'll get straight up.
Speaker 2Okay, take the reins. So it depends on the Tramon manufacturer, not because of their manufacturing process per se but because of the tolerances that they build their slides. If it's a manufacturer that builds a slide with a tighter tolerance and I don't want necessarily name brands because that comes with pluses and minuses Obviously with a tighter tolerance there's, you know, more of a seal per, you know, theoretically, blah, blah, blah. But with that there's less room for any sort of imperfections in the slide or foreign objects in the slide. So I've had a couple of slides that needed to be broken in and, yes, cleaning the slide daily, but, more importantly, cleaning the in the outer slide. If you get one of those slatomic cells, that rod with the cloth, that's machine washable, that's the way to go screws and paper towels or cheese cloth or anything like that. Get the slot on mixing. You can get on Amazon super simple and Just like being meticulous with that, really cleaning it a lot and it just takes time and it's annoying because we're obviously very sensitive to like.
Speaker 2We want it to move as like gliding as possible and when it's not doing that, it really sucks. So it is a thing. It what you heard is right, it is a thing and it isn't a thing. It depends on your slide. So, but the, I would. I don't know if it's Metal, like microscopic metal particles from the, from the manufacturing process, I have no idea, but it does exist, cuz I have a Couple of slides that really sucked and now they're awesome and it just took time.
Speaker 1You'd like some robot that'll just like keep it moving, like ours?
Speaker 2Yes, Maybe I can like Get, like, get someone off of five, or to do that. So all I need you to do is sit in this chair.
Speaker 1No, no, hold it. No, yeah, yeah, hold it, hold it, yeah. Make a gun with your left hand. There you go. There you go, hold it. No, that's improper. Yeah, yeah, two fingers, there you go, yeah, and just just live long and prosper straight. Yeah, keep, keep it up, and I'll be back in about eight hours. Mm-hmm, cool, thank you. Shall we move to new Google keyword trombone searches? Oh yeah, it was a good question.
Speaker 2Oh, yeah, it was. It was invigorating last time.
Speaker 1So so, checking this week, surprisingly we have trombone shorty doing some stuff. What he's? He's doing concerts and he's making press releases, so good job way to go.
Speaker 2Pesano client, I'm so proud of you.
Speaker 1Um, another one was I saw that there's a new Album by Jennifer Wharton called grit and grace, that that had a review, so I'm gonna have to check that out. Well, it's, it's her and her bone.
Speaker 2Gasm Is bone gasm the the group. Yes, jennifer Wharton's I think that's how it's billed Jennifer Wharton's bone gasm, that's. That's, that's great branding right, there, it really is If you haven't heard her previous albums. I haven't heard this one. I need to check it out. But really great stuff, really really exciting playing, good writing. Yeah it's definitely gonna be fun to check that out.
Classical Musicians and Trombone Violence
Speaker 1Awesome. All right, I think the next segment is time for gripe of the week. It's ripe for some gripe. Oh, that's good. I think you just need to make up theme music for every segment. Oh, so I have one great me. You know, I've been, I've had this one for a while and I've never said it publicly, but I just, I Don't know why, it bothers me. So I think you know, you know, therapists say you should just say say things and get it off your chest and not bottle things up. Classical musicians Taking your press photos in front of graffiti does not make you look edgy.
Speaker 2Okay.
Speaker 1It doesn't make you look edgy.
Speaker 2What Let me counter? Can I counter Sure? What if they're not trying to look edgy, but they actually really think it's beautiful?
Speaker 1Sure, but it's everyone's doing it. So it's like cliche now. And it's like oh, I'm a classical musician and everything I do is considered so serious, so I'm going to take a picture in front. Ooh, look, graffiti. It's like we can be more creative.
Speaker 2Okay, so before I give my counter, what are?
Speaker 1Oh, this is not up for debate, but you can.
Speaker 2Oh, it's up for debate. Where should they be taking their headshots? That would be acceptable.
Speaker 1I'm saying I'm seeing a trend and it's like it's past the point of cliche for me and it just looks lame to me and I'm sorry, it's how I feel and it bugs me. And more power to if you want to do it, and I'm sure I have a lot of friends that already have those photos that are going to hate me for saying this, but I just had to say it.
Speaker 2Well, my initial reaction is who cares? Oh, of course, and that you saying it looks edgy, it might not be what they're going for.
Speaker 1I think it is though.
Speaker 2If it is that they're going for edgy. There's nothing edgy about classical trauma, that's true. That's where you're wrong, sir. Okay, well, I don't even know what to do, Cool so I win.
Speaker 1Case closed, all right. Okay, a new segment I'm very excited for and I'm going to surprise Nick with some questions here kind of influenced by Nick and I's favorite podcast I don't think we've ever actually said that on here, but my brother, my brother and me, if you're familiar, I think it's brilliant Mibibab. It's one of the most popular podcasts in the world and basically it's three brothers who are freaking hilarious, but the main crux of the show started with them answering Yahoo answers questions just like questions that the world submits to the internet. Hoping for people to answer Yahoo answers is no more Now. Quora is kind of like taken over. I'm sure you've seen Quora things pop up Quora, so I just did a very quick search before meeting you here and luckily I found some quick ones. Let's see what's it got to go with when used as a weapon. How dangerous is the trombone?
Speaker 2Oh, okay, let me get my response and then you give your response, because you asked it right. Okay, so, number one, are we using it as a projectile? If so, close range it could be pretty effective. Or you could use it kind of like a bat, you know, grab it by the slide, with the slide lock on and give it a good swing.
Speaker 1Are you saying projectile, like you're gonna fling the slide or like the whole thing like a javelin? So you just throw the whole trombone, yeah, so that's, you got one shot when you do that.
Speaker 2Circa 2012,. You yeet the trombone. Oh God, you're so hip with the kids, I know, yeah.
Speaker 1But you could have two shots. If you shoot the slide then throw the trombone, that's two in the chamber.
Speaker 2I can go with thrice Malthus, thrice and attack. You can take the outer slide off, swing it like a bat, then throw it like a tomahawk and then take the whole trombone and throw it like a javelin.
Speaker 1I like that and if you're resourceful and you've been on the Facebook marketplace a lot, you can put a bunch of mouthpieces in a sock.
Speaker 2Oh, like full metal jacket when they beat the guy with a sock full of soap. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1So maybe all your purchases on trombone marketplace aren't the worst idea if the apocalypse happens.
Speaker 2They could be your form of self-defense under homeowners insurance, but as a musical instrument, I think a lot of the people who sit in front of us in the orchestra would consider the trombone a consistent and pestering weapon.
Speaker 1Are you saying just because how loud it is?
Speaker 2Yeah, and I'm not saying everybody, it's just like generally speaking across the board, they don't really.
Speaker 1Maybe that's a you problem. Hey, I play with beauty at all points in time If I found the person who sits in front of you in your orchestra and emailed and asked would they agree?
Speaker 2One of them 100% yes, the other one not as much.
Speaker 1How many shields do you normally see in front of you?
Speaker 2It's like a whole wall Really, but not just in front of me. The whole brass section is just a wall.
Speaker 1I really dislike playing into those things.
Speaker 2I know At some point you fight it and fight it and then it's just like the second, you kind of give into it, it all becomes okay and you just it's fine.
Speaker 1Well, I think that's a good answer to our trombone violence question. So yeah, I think you can swing it like an axe too.
Speaker 2Oh, overhand, I like that.
Speaker 1Or you could just keep holding it and use it as a poker.
Speaker 2you know, with the slide, oh I used to do something with when Kalimendi Guccio was my roommate. I would put my slide in seventh position and get the end, the point part of the slide, as close to his forehead as I could and then walk the proper distance away, so it's exactly like a millimeter from his head, and then just go like that and if he flinched then I won. I don't know what I won, but I won.
Speaker 1And you never hit him.
Speaker 2No.
Speaker 1Wow, that's a lot of trust. He didn't like it, but I liked it a lot. Can't see him liking that, Stop, stop. So with all this negativity, I think we should counteract our gripe with the world with some little sunshine. I don't know what we should call this segment, but what should we call it?
Speaker 2We're going to talk about beauty in the world. What should we call this? What should we call this segment? Maybe we should do a poll about this segment too Trumbone beauty in the world.
Speaker 2I think we can't ask Trumbone players too many questions, because their big meat claws get all clumped up on the small keyboards. Yeah, yeah, yeah, this is some beauty in the world. So I was working with a student the other day on Bach's Sarabhan from the Fifth Suite Never heard of it, exactly, it's a fast, jaunty little ditty. And I asked who he's listening to out of inspiration for this and he said Yo-Yo Ma, and Never heard of him. Yeah, yo-yo Ma is the only cellist that has recorded the cello suites three times, really. Yeah, recently, I think, during the pandemic, recorded the third time, and Some might say why, but Well, it's interesting. So then I, after saying I was saying to this student, I said, oh, yo-yo Ma recorded three times. It'd be really interesting to listen to the Sarabhan from all three recordings, like back to back to back. So I was like, oh man, I haven't. I haven't done that in a while either, like with other artists who have done similar things. So I went home and listened to Yo-Yo Ma playing the Sarabhan from the Fifth Suite in all three recordings, and then I listened to the Prelude from the first and second suite in all three recordings, and then that reminded me of my other favorite version of this, which is Glenn Gould recorded.
Speaker 2And if you don't know who Glenn Gould is, he was a very famous Canadian pianist, very known for his interpretations of Bach in particular, not limited to that, but that's kind of one of the things he was most known for. And he recorded the Goldberg variations at the beginning of his life and towards the end of his life. And it's really amazing in those recordings to hear the difference of interpretation. That particular one, the Glenn Gould one, this book ends his life pretty much. You know, you can kind of see the evolution of his playing and his musical decisions in those two recordings. Really, when he was young the temp was really like overly fast and like create, almost like manic, and the later ones were much more calm and slower. And I don't know, I mean that's just an opposite of my observation. But I just found it refreshing and invigorating to go back and listen to those Glenn Gould recordings and remind myself that like, like why I got into this thing. That's not trombone music, but those those recordings really were important. Wait, these aren't trombonus.
Speaker 1I know crazy, this whole time I was really invested in what you're talking about.
Speaker 2But you know, just to like remind yourself sometimes, especially when you get frustrated or like you're losing Kind of your way with like, like, why am I doing this? Go back to some recordings that you love and listen to them. And I did this not in a place where I'm frustrated, necessarily with my own playing, but just kind of like I was talking to a student about them and remind me all I've listened to these in a while and, ah, it like totally like brightened my day. It was like the Sun was brighter and like the air was crisper. It really was just like wow, I have a pep, my step now, because it was awesome, it was so great and it's great to hear. Man, it doesn't have to be classical music, you know, music has that power, it's awesome. So go back and listen to something that makes you happy, you know.
Speaker 1I've quite often prescribed To students. You ever have like a lesson with a student and you can just tell they just have this big Cloud over them and they just can't get anything together that week and they haven't been able to get anything together and they're in a rut with their playing. I'll just assign Bach all week, like listen to and play Bach, and it often often does the trick.
Speaker 2I Mean yeah, he's therapy, he's chicken noodle soup for the soul. Remember those books, yep.
Speaker 1And actually, that being said, I'm really looking forward to your your third recording of New Orleans, because I think I'm really gonna really get to know you at that point.
Speaker 2I'll have to do the first one.
Future Projects and Events Updates
Speaker 1Second I Don't think age from bonus of recording anything three times. I mean, should we don't have anything amazing enough to do that? Right exactly, but thank you for that little dose of sunshine or reminder, appreciate it. I hope you enjoyed the second installment of all things rusty and jones and for a bones and and tips and nips and slips.
Speaker 2I.
Speaker 1Think does that? Is that good? That wrap it up.
Speaker 2I think that wraps it up in a nice little package with a beautiful little bow and some Twine cool.
Speaker 1So we'll have some some big interviews coming up. We still have a half a season to get through and some announcements and projects coming through. We still have the third coast trombone retreat this upcoming summer to announce the dates and guest artists. So lots of fun, just fun stuff absolutely.
Speaker 3And you know, sebastian, hey, hey, hey, sebastian here, Keep trucking okay, thanks, man make it a great day. Bye.
Speaker 1Bye you.
