Reinvention Road Trip

What Are Your Crucible Moments?

June 18, 2021 Jes Averhart Season 2 Episode 4
Reinvention Road Trip
What Are Your Crucible Moments?
Show Notes Transcript

Welcome back, friends! Today,  we’re going to dive a little deeper and explore some new territory on our Comfort Cliff.  If you’ve never reflected on your crucible moments…today is the day! 

We’ll spend time in our Empowerment Zone learning what Crucible Moments are and how they impact our growth and reinvention journey. 

Here’s how I define your Crucible moments.  It’s the heat, baby! The pressure that you feel during key moments of your life. It’s the dangerous fire and the gorgeous risk.  The conditions under which we are forced to withstand an extreme test. It’s in these moments that something new, precious and more valuable has the potential to be created.  

So if you’re ready…let’s jump right in.

Crucible Moments

Welcome back, friends!  I so look forward to sharing space in the podcast world with you!  And Today, I want to introduce a new idea/concept.  As you know, sometimes we’ll find ourselves celebrating these incredible reinventions stories brought to us by badass women from across the country and sometimes we’ll learn how to better navigate our comfort cliff.  Today is the latter.  We’re going to dig a little deeper as we explore some new territory called our Crucible Moments.  So if you’re ready…let’s jump right in. 

So what exactly is a crucible moment? 

Well Webster will tell you that a crucible is

1. A vessel used for melting a substance that requires a high degree of heat

2. a severe test 

3. a place or situation in which concentrated forces interact to cause or influence change or development.

Here’s my version of a crucible moment.  It’s the heat, baby! The pressure that you feel during key moments of your life. It’s the dangerous fire and the gorgeous risk.  The conditions under which we are forced to withstand an extreme test. It’s in these moments that something new, precious and more valuable has the potential to be created.  

Since this is a new concept, let me share how two other leaders define crucible moments  and then I’ll get into a few that have impacted me personally so you can get the flavor for how they differ from the everyday unpredictability of life. 

Okay, let’s hear how Will Krieger, VP Research America, Inc. defines a crucible moment as a transformative experience through which an individual comes to a new or an altered sense of identity. These are times when our character is tested.”

In Will’s version he talks about the individual.  But I think it’s important to note that crucible moments can be seen throughout history with long-reaching impact on society.   Friends, we don’t have to go back far for examples.  That very first case of COVID-19 in Wuhan, China would be a crucible moment.  That moment in time changed how we would move in the world as we know it.  Another clear example is the murder of George Floyd on May 25th, 2020. It catalyzed the United States to reckon with its history of systemic racism and forced other nations to take a critical look at their cultures of racism as well.  Because of those 9min. 29 sec in Minneapolis, we’re forever changed. 

Finally I want to share how my mentor, Retired Col. Joe LeBoeuf defines crucible moments.  He says they are life experiences that test the depth of one’s being and their sense of self.  He’ll tell you that each of these key dash-marks on your timeline sets  the conditions for enabling success later in life.  If we pay attention to what these moments are teaching us, we’ll be better equipped to discern our life’s purpose.  

While you’ve probably never called these high-stake milestones, ‘crucible moments’, my guess is that if you closed your eyes, you would have no problem identifying them.  We all know the moments that have shook us, changed us and shaped us. No one is exempt; and the older we get the more we realize how crucial they were in leveling us up, that is, if we were paying attention.   

At this point you might be tempted to say to yourself, I get it Jes but this just sounds like life, I’m not sure we need another word to describe the ups and downs. I would agree if I didn’t believe with all my soul that your crucible moments are different then every day ups and downs…they ignite change.  A crucible moment will force you into Empowerment zone of your Comfort Cliff.  Remember the empowerment zone is the place where the person you are today wrestles with the person you are meant to become.  It’s in that messy middle that we begin to take ownership of who we are and where we’re going. 

That’s the real journey of life anyways, right? Wrestling with and discerning our purpose?  Going through hard, difficult and even dangerous events awakens us to our inane purpose…sometimes by choice (training for a ultra marathon) and sometimes by default (surviving a car accident).  Either way, that moment is ours and what we do with it REALLY Matters!  It could be the moment that unlocks a part of ourselves that the world needs.  Amazing, right!?

I have crucible Moments scattered throughout my timeline.  Each time they  forced me to wake up and take stock of my life. The first one that I can say was truly a crucible was when my grandfather died in 1998. I was 18. My grandpa was my father figure and his death shook me to my core. Mourning his loss and realizing I was going to have to do life without his constant voice of reassurance was devistating.  It was a crossroads. Immediately after his death I went into a phase of self-destruction.  I abused my body and stopped eating and when I did eat I purged to have some sense of control.  I skipped school and withdrew from my family. But I also had a great sense of obligation to get it together for my grandpa and make him proud and I found my way out of that desert and became a better version of myself without really realizing that it.  That outcome could have been different but it wasn’t but for the Grace of God. 

Other moments include the day I learned my birthstory when I was 27, 

the day I sat at the kitchen table with my husband as we surrendered our marraige when I was 30 

and the night I learned who my dad was at the age of 41.  

While these are unique to me, my guess is, that as I was sharing, your crucible moments were coming to the surface as well..  

So, what are yours? 

Can you name them?  

Maybe you’re in one right now and trying to make sense of it all.  The important thing to remember is that you are strong. Crucible moments remind us of how much resolve we have as humans.  We are built to endure.  The beauty is going beyond endurance and into a place of clarity and focus.  Using these moments to your advantage and growing as a result. 

So here’s a challenge. Write down a crucible moment you are willing to reflect on. 

In the next 48 hours, think of yourself as a tourist visiting that moment.  Tourists are curious and interested in learning – they poke around and reflect but they don’t stay long and always return home with a little more insight on the world.  

You might discover you have some loose ends to tie up. In other words, there may be some reconciliation or healing left to do.  You may also discover that your repeating patterns from that time even today.  These are good insights and can help you in the Empowerment Zone.  You can’t change what you don’t know.   Our crucible moments serve as a mirror – and a space for honest reflection. 

Okay, I know today was a lot and it forced us to dive a little deeper.  But we’re not here to sit in the baby pool.  We’re here to do some work so we can thrive and get renewed.  Remember what I said at the beginning.  Your crucible moments are the dangerous fire and the gorgeous risk.  It’s in these moments that something new, precious and more valuable has the potential to be created.  

Thank you for joining me today!  It’s so rewarding share this space with you.  Until next time, friends.