Mary Ryan Brown is a comedian from Hattiesburg, Mississippi. https://www.maryryanbrown.com/ This is Mary Ryan's second time joining us at The County Line (she's now a regular) and the conversation does not disappoint! Go follow her. She's hilarious and we want everybody to know she is hilarious!
See below for episode description, timestamps, and socials. As always, thank you all for your love and support!
Do you ever feel like you're trying to tread water in the ever-changing whirlpool of life? Come on board for a voyage of comedy, vulnerability, and heart-to-heart chats as we navigate through life's complexities! From the perplexing universe of dating apps and the alarming world of massage parlors to the endless struggle of imposter syndrome, this episode is packed with laughter, insights, and more. It's a rollercoaster ride that swings between light-hearted fun and serious discussions.
Picture this: you're sifting through dating apps, struggling to distinguish real people from bots, only to end up with a mobile masseuse with a questionable background! Add to that the shady side of massage parlors and an intense discussion about human trafficking. Yet, in true comedian style, we lighten the mood by sharing our secret dreams of becoming strippers, complete with a preferred playlist and a fan moment for Niykee Heaton. We also bare our souls about the less glamorous sides of our careers - the crippling doubt, the arduous balancing act with parenting, and the ever-present comparison game.
The fun doesn't stop there! We delve deep into the world of relationships - from discussing the intricacies of introducing a significant other to your family, to exploring the nuances of family group chats. We even find time to throw shade on green messages and declare our undying love for all things Apple! So buckle up for an episode filled with laughter, personal revelations, and some useful tips for journeying through the hustle and bustle of life's challenges.
MARY RYAN BROWN
Website: https://www.maryryanbrown.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/maryryanbrown/
E-mail: mrbrowncomedy@gmail.com
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Where's The County Line:
Website: https://www.countylinepodcast.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/countylinepodcast/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/countylinepodcastms
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@thecountylinepodcast/about
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/countylinepodcast
Submit content, questions, and topics you would like to hear on The County Line to: countylinepodcast@gmail.com
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(0:22) Dating Apps and Massage Services Discussion
(17:02) Navigating Imposter Syndrome and Achieving Success
(25:29) The Importance of Consistency and Confidence
(32:15) Navigating Family Dynamics and Dating
(41:01) Worst First Date, Social Media Comedians
(57:15) Dogs, Birth Rate, and Gender Divide
(1:08:00) Navigating Relationships, Self-Improvement, and Fragrance
(1:24:51) Starting a Podcast and Comedy Career
(1:33:20) Entertaining Conversation With Mary Ryan
Mary Ryan Brown is a comedian from Hattiesburg, Mississippi. https://www.maryryanbrown.com/ This is Mary Ryan's second time joining us at The County Line (she's now a regular) and the conversation does not disappoint! Go follow her. She's hilarious and we want everybody to know she is hilarious!
See below for episode description, timestamps, and socials. As always, thank you all for your love and support!
Do you ever feel like you're trying to tread water in the ever-changing whirlpool of life? Come on board for a voyage of comedy, vulnerability, and heart-to-heart chats as we navigate through life's complexities! From the perplexing universe of dating apps and the alarming world of massage parlors to the endless struggle of imposter syndrome, this episode is packed with laughter, insights, and more. It's a rollercoaster ride that swings between light-hearted fun and serious discussions.
Picture this: you're sifting through dating apps, struggling to distinguish real people from bots, only to end up with a mobile masseuse with a questionable background! Add to that the shady side of massage parlors and an intense discussion about human trafficking. Yet, in true comedian style, we lighten the mood by sharing our secret dreams of becoming strippers, complete with a preferred playlist and a fan moment for Niykee Heaton. We also bare our souls about the less glamorous sides of our careers - the crippling doubt, the arduous balancing act with parenting, and the ever-present comparison game.
The fun doesn't stop there! We delve deep into the world of relationships - from discussing the intricacies of introducing a significant other to your family, to exploring the nuances of family group chats. We even find time to throw shade on green messages and declare our undying love for all things Apple! So buckle up for an episode filled with laughter, personal revelations, and some useful tips for journeying through the hustle and bustle of life's challenges.
MARY RYAN BROWN
Website: https://www.maryryanbrown.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/maryryanbrown/
E-mail: mrbrowncomedy@gmail.com
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Where's The County Line:
Website: https://www.countylinepodcast.com/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/countylinepodcast/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/countylinepodcastms
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@thecountylinepodcast/about
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/countylinepodcast
Submit content, questions, and topics you would like to hear on The County Line to: countylinepodcast@gmail.com
----------------------------------------------------------------------
(0:22) Dating Apps and Massage Services Discussion
(17:02) Navigating Imposter Syndrome and Achieving Success
(25:29) The Importance of Consistency and Confidence
(32:15) Navigating Family Dynamics and Dating
(41:01) Worst First Date, Social Media Comedians
(57:15) Dogs, Birth Rate, and Gender Divide
(1:08:00) Navigating Relationships, Self-Improvement, and Fragrance
(1:24:51) Starting a Podcast and Comedy Career
(1:33:20) Entertaining Conversation With Mary Ryan
Yes, I'm over my shoes and sometimes you make invoits for this. You make a knot. There are profiles that you know. 10 years on a dating app or longer, you know, you start to learn who's real and who's a bot and you understand how to distinguish and differentiate between those two entities that find themselves on dating apps. So this particular young lady, very pretty okay, claims that she is a mobile masseuse and her, but her profile looks very, very generic, sure, like AI generated it.
Speaker 2:Oh, okay.
Speaker 1:Not like a cartoon, not like CGI or anything like that. It just looks like these picture. It looks like it's artificially intelligent in the way, like the settings of the picture, like the girl looks the same in all the pictures, but the background. There's something off there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, smooth features. Why are we at a cafe in Tokyo? Mm-hmm that twinkle in their eye. I get it.
Speaker 1:This is probably not good of me, mary-rynne, but whenever I run into these situations, I do like to have fun with them, sure and so, and what I mean by that is string them along, and so she. So I asked for I immediately. I've just gotten to the point now on dating apps where I'm just like, if I match with somebody and then we have a message or two, I just I just send them my phone number and say text me.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah.
Speaker 1:And it's worked very well.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Having a lot of phone number success, but the phone number for this mobile masseuse is a Pennsylvania number.
Speaker 2:Oh girl, oh my gosh, okay Well, do you think maybe she's Amish and trying to like get out of that oppressive lifestyle? Do you think that's a possibility?
Speaker 1:I'm sure I don't think so, because she looks very, very Latina.
Speaker 2:Well, you know, the Pennsylvania Dutch have a very rich Latinx heritage, as we all know.
Speaker 1:I was unaware. Oh yeah, it's probably increased since all of the border madness, so I'm saying yeah well, you know they have a shared interest in building stuff. I would say For sure, for sure they're from the. Yeah, I mean they've got a lot of similar strengths and participate in a lot of the same trades. I guess you could say yeah, the trades, the trades.
Speaker 2:Okay, so she's got it. She's Latina, possibly, possibly just full, 100% AI. She's got a Pennsylvania number and she wants you to catch these hands, she wants to rub up on you.
Speaker 1:Yes, and she's very adamant about her being mobile. So I mean, she's mentioned two or three times that she will come to me. Okay, and you know I'm gonna ask you. I'm on deep tissue massage, but she said that all the different types. She sent me a list this long of all the stuff that she does, all massage related. By the way, no nefarious acts were listed in her list of services.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:So you know, I don't think there would be different prices for different types of massage, but massages, but what do I know?
Speaker 2:There are, there definitely are.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I figured there would be a range.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, I know this because my husband goes and gets massages all the time from a reputable, you know, human person. But yeah, there's different prices for all the different types.
Speaker 1:Yeah, have you ever heard of this website? It's called something rub Rub makes, maybe, or something like that, but it's these. What it does is identifies like mostly Asian massage parlors that are known for happy endings or whatever.
Speaker 2:Sign me up. Sign me up. I'm very intrigued.
Speaker 1:I've never, I've never grown the balls to identify one of these or locate one of these places and then actually go to it for just a massage. Never, never. Just to test the waters, you know, just to see if the atmosphere is right for that type of thing, if it could be surmised, if that goes on there.
Speaker 2:It's somebody's atmosphere for sure. Yeah, I don't know. There's one across from the Roosevelt, new Orleans, that's like a foot massage place and it's like a walk up and I'm for sure they're getting freaky in there and I'm intrigued. I really am.
Speaker 1:Have you seen the reporting in the any of the stories coming out of New York where apparently the prostitution is just rampant like more than it has been traditionally in New York? And they're saying it's because of largely Latin American women who are coming from these other countries looking for a better life. But they say it's like they've got little kids running around with their literature advertising for them.
Speaker 2:And that's the reality of human trafficking. You know I don't pretend to know a lot about the subject, because I don't, but I know it's real and that's sad. I don't want to talk about it.
Speaker 1:It is sad, it is yeah, but women.
Speaker 2:there's some divorced dad out there who's very happy. He's just cranking up, you know creed on the way to go see these women. So good for him, I guess.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean what there's. There's definitely a market. There's no shortage of demand there.
Speaker 2:True, true, yeah, my dreams. They still stop at stripper. They do. I think I could do it, I really do. And I've thought about it even more. I've put together a playlist.
Speaker 1:Oh really, let's, let's, let's hear a little a couple of track listings from that playlist.
Speaker 2:Okay. So there's a song called finessin by well, you can get it a couple different ways. There's a Lil Wayne version, there's a, there's a Kevin Gates version and then there's like a Nikki Heaton version, and I love Nikki Heaton. I don't do you know who Nikki Heaton is.
Speaker 1:I'll have the biggest celebrity crush on Nikki.
Speaker 2:Me too. Me too, I think she's probably the most perfect woman to ever exist.
Speaker 1:She's pretty damn close, she's pretty he looks like AI.
Speaker 2:She really does.
Speaker 1:She's very talented too.
Speaker 2:She's very talented, she's beautiful, she has two children. She's just constantly out in the country breastfeeding these children. I follow her on Instagram and that's pretty much all she does, and I think she has like a leggings line as well. She sings well a bias. I don't know she's great, but there's a Nikki Heaton version of finessin. I would say that would. That's on the playlist to on by Tina Shea. Of course, some deep, deep Lana Del Rey cuts, including off to the races. Yeah, no classic rock for me, absolutely none. Oh, and you know what like the showstopper is, whether they want it or not, is going to be criminal by Fiona Apple. But I'll put together that clear if you can put it in the show notes.
Speaker 1:Sure, absolutely, if you want. So how long is Mary Ryan, if you were to perform to that playlist, how long does that last?
Speaker 2:Well, you know, I've got a full hour of comedy now and so I would say maybe I could have a little after party show and I would say a full hour of material and maybe I can. Maybe I can like throw in some beside jokes, like in between songs, just stuff nobody wants to hear. You know, just like I finished up one song and I'm like so everybody did you know dogs could get abortions, and then it's on to the next song. Do you think there's a market for that? Lee Carl.
Speaker 2:Yes, that's who are selling their bodies in New York. Okay, do you think they would come to my show? That's, that's the market I want to attract. I want them to spend their their harder money on my little special.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. If you combine your hour of comedy with your stripping act, I think those young ladies walking the streets in New York selling their bodies would. I think they would definitely resonate with your message.
Speaker 2:I want to strip for strippers. Yeah that's what I want.
Speaker 1:You know that's the ultimate audience.
Speaker 2:It is the ultimate audience. Like I really do want to be a comedian's comedian and a sex worker sex worker, If you know what I mean absolutely.
Speaker 1:I mean it's. It's akin to like Boosie saying that he's your favorite rappers, favorite rapper. What's your favorite rapper? Never held an Ozy like Lucy.
Speaker 2:Amen, yes and amen I love it.
Speaker 1:Do you think Boosie has a problem with social media?
Speaker 2:Oh, like he doesn't know how to use it.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for sure excessive. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. He doesn't get it and that's okay. What do you think he? Is? He gen X or is he millennial? How many?
Speaker 1:millennial. He's millennial he's 40.
Speaker 2:Okay, well, he's an elder millennial. And yes, yeah, it's just, it's the, it's the whole fallacy of like. I think the young people are doing this, so in order to appear young, I'm going to do it constantly, you know it's. It's the equivalent of me saying slay, slay, slay, slay all the time to like fit in with Gen Z, which I really do. I try not to do that, but I feel like he's just upping the frequency of his social media output to like appear hip, but it's actually producing the opposite effects. Boosie, you want to hire me for PR? Go right ahead.
Speaker 1:Well, he wears it as a badge of honor that he runs his own social media. Yeah, and you know he's like he's. I mean, here's the thing If you have had a following, a sizable following, prior to the internet, you're not good. It really is not going to matter how you use it, because you've already got such a connection with people, with fans, followers, whatever so, like he, he changes Instagram accounts like every month because one gets deleted and then everybody has to find him again and he has to, you know, start all the way over from zero. But it's just interesting how he chooses to just be on there all, all the time.
Speaker 2:I like it. It's authentic. That's a buzzword, you know authentic.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what does that?
Speaker 2:mean, I don't know, I don't know, and I feel like we're all like trying to find it. You know, like I see these people on social media and they're like, oh, I'm such a hot mess, you know, and I think they want to be applauded as authentic. But I think even that can be fabricated.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. We live in a weird time because everybody is so thirsty.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I am 100%.
Speaker 1:And there's a yeah, look at us, look what we're doing right now. But it's the day and age that we live in, and particularly in what it is that we are trying to do. People have to see us, people have to hear us.
Speaker 2:Yeah, whether they like it or not.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we're going to be in their face all day, every day, like somebody told me the other day. They were like Lee. I see the county line stuff every time I open social media. I was like that's good, that means it's doing what it's supposed to be doing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for real. So tell me how. How have things been on the podcast? Like, who have some of your favorite guests been since? When did we do our first episode? July?
Speaker 1:Yes, I think it's probably been five or six months since you and I spoke on the podcast. Oh, wow, I've had quite an array. I've had quite an array. Actually, the end of last week this episode is not out yet, but I interviewed, had a conversation with Tony T, the producer. He is from a calm and he is doing very, very well producing music in the Southern soul space, which I'm a huge fan of, so that was cool Went to his studio. He showed me around, we conducted the episode in his studio, which was cool. Um, I also did an interview with one of my good friends, ben Hardy, where we did role reversal and he played my. He played host and asked me a bunch of questions and we talked shit for two and a half hours. That was very enjoyable, um, so, yeah, we've had it. We've had a lot going on. Are you playing shows coming up soon?
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. I've got a show on December 2nd in Ocean Springs at a place called the loft. I'm excited about that one. I'm on there with Olivia Cersei, who's hilarious. She's out of Pensacola, and then Mike Strecker, who's been in the game forever and he's awesome. He's from New Orleans, so I have that one in December. I feel like I have some other ones coming up, but I'm drawing a blank. Um, I'm definitely John.
Speaker 1:So when was Tuscaloosa? I remember you told me you were playing in Tuscaloosa.
Speaker 2:Yeah, tuscaloosa was, I think three weekends ago, um at a Chinese restaurant called Mr Chins and it was awesome. That was like. That was like one of my favorite shows. The energy in there was really good, so, yeah, how did that come about? The comedy world is like small. Um, I have a friend in the Hattiesburg scene who had done that show before and he had recommended me to the show runner over there. So shout out, Ben Compton, uh, for recommending me. And um yeah, it's mostly word of mouth in the comedy world, I feel.
Speaker 1:But like the, the Chinese restaurant, I've never heard of a Chinese restaurant having stand up comedy. Did they do that often with, or was it? Did you just know somebody with the Chinese restaurant? And they were like hey, mary, ryan, we got a spot If you want to come.
Speaker 2:So I believe the yeah, I believe the show runner, sydney, actually works at the Chinese restaurant, so I think that she has been putting on like a monthly comedy night. Um, so that one was really good fun. Um, I've also got a Valentine show coming up. I don't want to like drop too many details about where it is or, um, what it's going to be about, but it's going to be like a special Valentine show. That's all new jokes about love, so be on the lookout for that.
Speaker 1:So how long have you been performing comedy consistently?
Speaker 2:Consistently. Well, it's been consistent ever since I started, so I started in June of 2022.
Speaker 1:So, so we're about a year and a half in year and a half.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:Are you starting to feel like you're gaining some traction towards whatever it is you want to ultimately achieve?
Speaker 2:No, I have like really bad, you know and this is not unique and it does not make me special Um, I have really bad imposter syndrome. So anytime that I like get a show or anything, I'm like this is not enough, I should be booking something else, I should be booking another podcast, I should be writing more jokes, so, no, I actually feel like more comedically destitute than when I began. Um, but I think that's just like. I assume you feel the same way, like with the podcast. Like if you get some new followers, that's cool for like five minutes and then it's, it's on to the next thing, um, but that's what makes it fun is is the pursuit. I never want to feel like I've truly arrived.
Speaker 1:Yeah, there's a fine line between um pushing yourself and being hard on yourself.
Speaker 2:Agreed, agreed, and I think the way that I talk to myself is something that I definitely need to improve. But you know, in the beginning I think I had a lot of people with their eyes on me, who had just known me, you know my whole life, and they thought it was like this novelty that I had started doing comedy. And you know, seeing a blonde woman get on stage and say disgusting things and curse is kind of like watching a dog walk on its hind legs. Like it's interesting. Um, but now, as sort of my materials evolved, as I've evolved, I don't think I'm like as angry and crass as I was in the beginning, um, and I'm trying to like evolve the way that my act goes and and figure some stuff out about myself.
Speaker 2:Um, I think that, like the, the viewership has kind of dropped off. It's not as like new as it was. So I I, in a way, I feel like I'm in this like sophomore slump, but I also feel like I'm just too little to be like detected by any radar and I'm just kind of like struggling for no reason. So what is?
Speaker 1:what is uh? Can you go into the imposter syndrome and what you mean by that a little more if you don't mind?
Speaker 2:Like um sure, like I see comedians, like people that like this happened in um, in Tuscaloosa we're like I'm headlining the show and I see comedians who go before me and I'm like, oh my gosh, they're a real comedian.
Speaker 2:Like they're, their stuff is so solid, I could never do that and I will have like a mini heart attack like right before I go on stage, that like I'm not even a comedian and, um, there's no way I could do what they're doing. And and then I like you know headline the show and I do, okay, um, but I think that you know, I I watch, you know, local comedians, regional, regional comedians, people on Netflix and I just think, wow, I will never, ever be there, um, and I'm working hard to be there, but I like I literally feel so dumb, like sometimes, sometimes, leigh Carl, I really do feel like I'm special needs and nobody has told me and they're just like letting me. When you feel like that, yeah, they're like letting me live my dream just because um they, they think I deserve to to feel like a, somebody Like that's.
Speaker 2:I really just feel so dumb all the time. Do you know what it takes to be a comedian? I mean, I'm not a comedian, I'm not a comedian, I'm not a comedian.
Speaker 1:Do you know what it takes to achieve the level of success that you want to achieve?
Speaker 2:Yes, I, I think I do know what it takes and I don't think I have it in me right now, like just with um, just with being a mom and being a wife and like having a career outside of comedy. Um, both in my teaching and then in the writing that I do on the side, I don't know if I'm like in the space where I can take it to where I want to take it. I also think I'm a self sabotage type person and and that if I were to get that opportunity, I would find some way to just really screw it up.
Speaker 1:So, um, I don't think that's the case. I don't think I don't. I don't catch that uh vibe from you. I think if you got the opportunity which you will, uh, whatever opportunity that that is in your mind you would knock it out of the park. You'd knock it out of the park. I don't think you would, um, fudge it up.
Speaker 2:Well, thank you, Thank you Um.
Speaker 1:What makes you think you would royally screw it up, and what would that opportunity look like?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I mean I, I don't know, I feel like I've always put myself in like smaller boxes. Um then, maybe what, what I should be giving myself, like I've always kind of kept it small and I think that's like a protective thing. Um, I mean I, I don't know. Wow, we've gotten really deep, we, carl, we've gone from the stripper playlist to, um, really plumbing the depths of all of my insecurities. So that's absolutely.
Speaker 1:That's what I do best.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I'm so happy to be here, and I'm just so happy right now, um.
Speaker 1:Hey, and we're catching it. Uh, we're catching it on live too, so awesome Okay.
Speaker 2:Is anyone saying anything?
Speaker 1:Oh, we've got one person tuning in right now and they wave big day, shout out, big Dave, what's up, big Dave?
Speaker 2:Never, never, give up on your dreams. I might, um, here's the deal. So I don't know. I think that, like, an opportunity I would really love is to tour and to open for someone that I really love and respect. Um, that would be like a huge opportunity. Um, having my own podcast and having that take up, take off with sponsorships, that would be great. Writing for television is something I'm really interested in. Um, and then like being, you know, being an interviewer like you, like that's something I would, I would really enjoy doing, having my own talk show or something. Um, yeah, and just like being able to take my hour wherever I want to take it. Um, being able to perform, you know, in any comedy club I wanted to perform in. Like that would be super, super awesome. Um, but I don't know, I have a lot going on right now. Like I have a lot of irons in the fire and I think I like it that way. Even when.
Speaker 2:I don't like it that way I like it. That way you know what I mean. I do I understand what you say.
Speaker 1:And and I've been in similar circumstances in which I couldn't work on the podcast as much as I wanted to and I had other jobs. Right now I'm just on the podcast, but I will say, once I made that commitment and that sacrifice and said, okay, this is what I'm going after. There was a feeling of liberation and also I began to see more frequent success, indicators of success, and I think that's just the way it goes. You know, what we spend our time on is where we see results, where we spend the majority of our time, and the podcast is totally taken off.
Speaker 2:Where do you see that going? Where do you want to be with the, with the show? I want it to be the best.
Speaker 1:I want it to be up there with, whatever you name up, the most popular podcasts. Um, you know I want to be the best. Um, you know I want to go to the top, mary Ryan, uh, but it takes. I used to think that, like and obviously I'm I'm learning all of this that goes with producing, hosting, editing, marketing, all these different things that go into getting to that point. I'm learning all these things. But before I got as deep into the podcasting game as I am now, I just thought, okay, well, I'll just get a couple of very famous people to come on and talk to my redneck ass and then I'll just it'll hit like that and then you know, I'll just keep doing it from there. That's not the case, um, at least for me now. I'm not saying that a conglomeration and a continual um regular appearance of higher profile people is. I'm not saying that's not going to help, uh, because it will. But the consistency, having high quality on a consistent basis, is really what uh drives the needle. Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 2:People, people need consistency, um, and like being able to count on when an episode's going to drop and that the conversation is going to be dynamic, like, yeah, it's a big deal, but like I will see, like this morning, I was reading, uh, an article about, uh, the different methods and strategies you can take to monetize a podcast.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and of course they were throwing out all of these different methods About how many downloads a podcast has to have to get a certain number of ad sponsorships, or how the pricing works. It was very in the weeds, but I had a little scare, uh, a little bout of imposter syndrome, when I see you know, such and such podcasts has 10 million downloads, or I got this, the 10 million downloads, and I'm like God damn, 10 million, I fucking like, like to your point. You know I'm not going to be able to like to your point. You're saying you're sitting there watching, you're watching that comedian, and you're like I can't do that. Same type of shit happens when I start looking at numbers like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, it's hard but it's. It's such a I mean, I don't know, not to get all woo woo, but it really is a gift to be hungry, to be hungry for something. Um. So you know, if that means that there's a little bit of imposter syndrome on the side or there's a little bit of self doubt, like that's just part of it, and I also have that, no matter what I do, you know, if I'm, if I'm sitting on my ass not chasing a dream, I'm going to feel like garbage. And then if I'm off my ass chasing that dream, I might feel like garbage, but at least I'm moving forward, you know.
Speaker 1:So, yes, I have a. Uh, I have a problem with projecting supreme confidence, but I'm having very shitty internal self confidence.
Speaker 2:They less brother, Hi get it.
Speaker 1:It's like damn. How does it work like that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't know. I think that, like you can divorce yourself from so so much of how you feel inside if you just, you know, project that confidence. And it's easy, like any, any old sociopath can do it. You just stand with your feet apart and your chest wide open, you put your hands on your hips and you smile and all of a sudden you know you're, you're at the center of energy in the room. It's not that hard and it can certainly be kept up for like short spurts of time, you know.
Speaker 1:I have a weird obsession with noticing people's posture and how they do carry themselves, and I do understand the importance of my grandmother telling me to sit up at the dinner table, sit up in the church for you, stand up, put your chest out. I understand what all that means now, more so now because I understand, like what you're saying how to carry a room, how to be the center of the room and let people know that you are, that you want to be the center of the room, and you do all that through body language and the way you carry yourself.
Speaker 2:Oh, yeah, yeah, and it's not that hard. I say that as I'm like literally sitting on the floor like a gremlin drinking my coffee through a straw. But you know, when the time comes, when the time comes to really perform, lee Carl, I'm there, I'm there, no doubt, no doubt, and it's you know, I would say you for sure.
Speaker 1:I'll throw myself in there on this for a little bit. Some people have a natural gift of gab, if you will, or a natural charisma, you know, and it it's like some people have. Some people are more, I think, more athletically gifted by God than others. Some people have to try really hard, mary Rhine, to be charismatic and put a smile on their face and become the center of the room.
Speaker 2:Yeah, hitler had to really work for it, and I mean it yeah, I think. So I think he was like a. He failed at a lot of things before he became the Beyonce of dictators.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Trump.
Speaker 1:Trump understands it, trump understands it.
Speaker 2:He's fantastic. He needs a comedy special. He is a comedian, he is a fucking comedian. No, he, he for sure is yeah, and one of my favorite gingers.
Speaker 1:Definitely, Absolutely he. And he's so good off the cuff Like he's. He's best when he's off script. Yeah, he's a crap.
Speaker 2:Yeah, he's a crowd working and that's something that I'm like trying to work on is being better at being off the cuff, because sometimes someone in the crowd will hit me with a comment and I'm just like I didn't. I didn't pack the emotional energy to handle your comment, I wasn't planning on this. Can we just skip it? And you can't. You have to invite the energy in and like respond and really pick up on, like what's going to make that person laugh, what's going to make the people around them laugh? But anyway, how's Sue Ellen?
Speaker 1:She is hoping and wishing that I would come see her more.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you need to. You need to go see your mom and you need to meet a nice girl on hinge and take her to see your mom.
Speaker 1:You know what I've learned throughout my dating years Mary-Rynne Don't take the girl home too early.
Speaker 2:Amen. Can I guess why, please May.
Speaker 1:I.
Speaker 2:I feel like Sue Ellen. Just based on my interactions with her on Facebook, I feel like she is too good of a person. I feel like she has too much love in her heart and she will like accept this person because it's someone you love, so she's going to love them too, and her love is going to create this like false image that that's the person for you, when maybe it's not. It's just an overflow of her love that she's always going to have because she's such a good person.
Speaker 1:You hit the nail right on the head. You hit the nail right on the head so that that definitely is a component and a contributing factor in why I said it's. It's not a great idea for me to take the girl home too early because, being my mother's baby boy, she is very intrigued by who I find intriguing, and so she's like chomping at the bit to see who it is, what she do, where's she from? You know all the things the mama's going to ask, but then, to your point, she's going to fall in love as soon as she sees the girl and she's just going to pour herself all over her. All her love and love Fall over her, all her love. And you know that's just a it should be. I should be hesitant to put myself in that situation.
Speaker 2:Not everyone deserves your mother's love. No, absolutely not and like tell me, what is it like being the baby boy? I want to be the baby boy. What?
Speaker 1:is that Phenomenal? It's phenomenal. And I was the baby boy on both sides, from a grandparent standpoint, for a long time, until until the great grandkids came.
Speaker 2:Yeah, whatever, whatever.
Speaker 1:I got showered with love what can I say? But I'll tell you what it was a blessing. I'd much rather have more, more than enough love than none at all.
Speaker 2:For sure, for sure. Look, my parents are the same way, like they're so nice and you bring someone home and they're just like why don't you come on vacation with us? Why don't you, you know, hang out with us and have dinner with us? Because my parents wanted their kids to like, want to bring people over, and so they were just so and they're also just good people, so they were so kind, and then we'd all get enmeshed really quickly and not everyone deserves to see how cool your parents are, you know.
Speaker 1:So at what point did you include your now husband in a group text with your family?
Speaker 2:Oh, he's still not in a group text with my family. He doesn't want to be, and I don't want to subject him to that because it is a lot. So how I grew up was like enmeshed, not Italian, but Italian, culturally, always talking, always interacting. And there are five of us I'm the oldest of five and so we have a big group chat. He is not in that group chat. He's been invited and he's respectfully declined, so he's like the boundary king, you know, he's like I'm not going to know, I'm good and I don't want to be in on all the inside jokes, and so we just sometimes we'll put him in adjacent chats when he needs to know information. But no, he's still not in a group chat.
Speaker 2:Now, are he and my dad little besties who never stop talking? Yes, you know, are he and my mom super tight? Yes, is he tight with all my siblings? Absolutely, but the family forever group chat, absolutely. He's not getting in there. He doesn't need to be in there, because that's where all of our like deep cut inside jokes are. And we have deep like I don't know if you have this, but there are five kids in my family. I'm the oldest. We have deep family lore that, like not everyone needs to know about, you know deep.
Speaker 1:Best kept in, best kept in house.
Speaker 2:Best kept in house. Yeah, it's the KFC seasoning recipe of inside jokes.
Speaker 1:So I don't, I don't blame him there, I don't blame him there. I mean, you know, it could be different if, like, let's say, you were an only child, maybe two children. Yeah, y'all got five. That's seven people already, like that's a lot going on.
Speaker 2:It's a lot going on and it's a lot of you know. So I'm kind of a ham, I would say. And then my next brother he's a ham. And then my next sister, she's just kind of like coming into herself. She's 21. And she's like hilarious now. And then the youngest two are twins. And then there's my mom in there. She's sending, you know, theo von, podcast recommendations to all of us, and then like a devotion the next minute, you know. And then an update on Brooks's soccer game the next minute, and then like an update on all the Wi Fi passwords the next minute, you know.
Speaker 2:so it's a lot of like whiplash in the group chat and I don't want to put sweet little Andrew into into all of that. Like he, he grew up in a very normal family. I don't even think they have a group chat. They have androids. His parents have androids.
Speaker 1:Was that a red flag?
Speaker 2:Yes, now, they're lovely people, my in-laws. I really, really lucked out. They are incredible people, but I'm not going to gloss over it, they have androids.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you can't gloss over that.
Speaker 2:That's a problem, but it's okay. I love them and I accept them.
Speaker 1:Why do you think we, in your opinion, view green, message people the way we do?
Speaker 2:Because they're inferior.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Yeah, I would say because we believe that the Apple product is that much more superior.
Speaker 2:It is. It is Okay Because my mother-in-law you know she'll send me pictures of Meadow when they take Meadow for the weekend and they're the grainiest, worst pictures I've ever seen in my life because of that Android camera Like it's an inferior product for inferior people.
Speaker 1:So for you, is it just the camera, or are there other features that you take issue with?
Speaker 2:I don't even know, I won't even touch an Android.
Speaker 1:to be honest, I can't speak to it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I don't even know what to be mad at, but I am.
Speaker 1:I'm just like ugh when somebody sends me a green message.
Speaker 2:Oh, so have any hinge. Ladies sent you a green message.
Speaker 1:No.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:No, they haven't.
Speaker 2:Count that as a blessing. Lee Carl, that's good.
Speaker 1:And I'm with you. I think hinge is the most legit. Here's the thing you can make them all as legit as you want to. Yeah, hinge just has the best features on their free version. They have the best, the highest effectiveness in the way of matching people with that you would actually want to see and associate with.
Speaker 2:I agree, I agree. Now I can't really speak to hinge because, excuse me, I was literally on there five minutes. I see, andrew, you know we start talking, we go on a date, I delete hinge. So you know, I mean I really am a poster child for it's the app that's meant to be deleted. But I did know him for real life, you know. So there is that. But yeah, I think hinge, just the way the interface is set up, from what I can remember it like, allows you to get to know a person a little bit more like it does ask some questions about values and preferences, whereas Tinder is just like.
Speaker 2:here's my cleavage do what you want with it, which is also a valid way to live your life, but I did enjoy hinge.
Speaker 1:Lots of bots on Tinder and bumbles. Okay, but what I've found is, if you're gonna, if you're gonna use bumble, you need to. You need to get the plan above the free version.
Speaker 2:Preach and look, at least you're willing to pay. So like, okay, you're gonna take a girl from hinge or bumble on a date. What is the move? What is the move? Say she's in the area, what are you doing?
Speaker 1:Well, every situation is different. I've done this multiple times. It depends on where they are. But I mean, I just go meet up for happy hour or something you know, something very casual and friendly, nothing too much, you know. I don't want to come off as being too zealous over zealous Respect.
Speaker 2:Respect, planning a whole first date and like putting that sort of pressure on it, you know of like we're gonna go do this and then we're gonna go on a picnic and we're gonna go on a hike. I'm already wanting to cancel. No, thank you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean generally, generally speaking first dates. Whether they initiate online or not, I try to keep them as casual and friendly as possible. Yeah with very, very low expectations for anything that comes after.
Speaker 2:For sure. I think that's smart. Think a happy hour is the move. What is the? What is the worst first date you've ever been?
Speaker 1:on. The worst first date I've ever been on actually did originate from Tinder in New Orleans, and the young lady was Russian. And do you know who Chapel Heart is? I do, I do yeah they were randomly playing at this bar in New Orleans that me and this Russian girl went on this date. She's an elementary teacher.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:And we got in an argument. I don't even remember about what it was, but she ended up walking out. She stormed out on me, she told me I was a dumbass American and she said I'm leaving, I'm done with you.
Speaker 2:And I said everybody needs to hear that at least once in their life.
Speaker 1:I said let the door hit you where the good Lord splits you.
Speaker 2:Amen, that's bad, that's real bad.
Speaker 1:It's an experience.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I would say so, I'm trying to. You glossed over the argument.
Speaker 1:And.
Speaker 2:I think it was.
Speaker 1:I think it was basically I had a little too much to drink and she was being too romantic about socialism. I mean, she would know she would, and I don't think I was. I think I was very polite once it got to that point. I love that you know it probably was not meant to be Mary Ryan.
Speaker 2:No, I'm gonna say it wasn't. When you know. You know that kind of goes for love and spite, like there are just certain people that you're like, all right, this is going to be a lifelong relationship of disdain, we're never going to like each other, and that sort of clarity is beautiful. Like I don't think it should be discounted when you know you don't like somebody.
Speaker 1:Yes, that happens to me very often.
Speaker 2:That's good, that's good.
Speaker 1:I mean, I am a very much a people person and you know I smile and people's face and stuff and I'm gonna be nice, but when it comes down to really really liking a human being, there aren't very many of those that I have.
Speaker 2:I feel that Just being honest.
Speaker 2:I like. A lot of people like if this is bad. But if you are funny, if you have a sense of humor, if you have that gift of gab, you can get away with a lot. For me, you know, I think a sense of humor is a virtue in a way. So you can be committing tax fraud, but if you have a funny bit about you know whatever about tax fraud, I will like you. So I really do. I sort of privilege funny people in my life. I think I don't have a lot of people that I just don't like, but I don't interact with a lot of people. My circle's pretty small. It's the Family Forever Group chat. It's my in-laws with their androids which is really their only flaw their lovely people.
Speaker 1:It could be way worse.
Speaker 2:It could be way worse, like they are never up in my business. They came to my show in Dallas, which is super nice. They did not have to do that. They're lovely, like they truly are the best, except for the huge android problem and they could have razors. They could. I miss the razor. I think I missed the era of the razor.
Speaker 1:What were we? Probably 12, something like that, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah 2005. Yes, and just illegally downloading Cyclone as a ringtone so that every time your aunt called you she moves her body like a cyclone. That was nice.
Speaker 1:Babybatch.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes. Or what about Paralyzed by Finger 11?
Speaker 1:I don't know that one that sounds like some white people shit.
Speaker 2:It is, but you've never been a divorced dad. I'm not paralyzed. You've never heard this.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know that song, I know that song.
Speaker 2:Great ringtone.
Speaker 1:I used to play a motorcycle video game it was a West Coast choppers video game and it was like that song on replay.
Speaker 2:Oh, take me there. That's where I want to be. I used to play Guitar Hero when I was that age and man, it was Mississippi Queen. That was like the only song I could play on there.
Speaker 1:That's a really fun video game.
Speaker 2:Guitar Hero Absolutely.
Speaker 1:It's very addictive.
Speaker 2:It's very addictive, and when I would play Rock Band with my friends, they'd be like who's going to be the singer? And I'd be like I couldn't, I couldn't do it, no, no, don't make me sing. And then like I would get up there and sing Evanescence or whatever.
Speaker 1:Do you follow any people on comedians, like comedians on social media, that are really good at creating their own skits and acting them out themselves?
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, I do. I just opened for a guy called DJ Redd. Do you know who that is?
Speaker 1:I don't think so.
Speaker 2:So he's really big in the Cajun community. People love him, like they. He has like a million and a half followers on Facebook and I was opening for him in Gonzalez Louisiana. He does these like Cajun parodies and skits and songs and stuff and I mean this was the first time that I've been around a comedian where, like, I've seen them interact with true fans and it was freaky it was. I mean, there were women that were so obsessed with him they were asking if he would take off his shirt that he was wearing so they could purchase his shirt that he was wearing, which was insane to me.
Speaker 2:But he does a really good job. He does a stand up show but it's also kind of a variety show. He does his songs, he does some prop comedy. It's really out of the box and he's found a way to bring what he's doing in his parodies onto the stage in a really interesting way. So he was one that just kind of in real life. I was amazed by. I really like that Serena girl. I don't know if she does stand up, but she does great skits of just like this really rude girl you've seen or she does different sort of character archetypes of like young women living in New York. She's very funny to me. I love Andy, andy Marie. She's Appalachian and do you know who I'm talking about? She's real country Kind of off. Oh, I love her, I'm obsessed with her, andy Marie on.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that sounds like West Virginia Country goth. That's what I think of West Virginia.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, and she is. She's fantastic. She does these characters where she puts on that filter that makes you ugly and she does like the old lady in your church who also works with crystals, and I mean, she's just off, she's spot on. I love her. She is like unhinged. What about you?
Speaker 1:Yes, I do, and I thought about creating my own skit of when I'm stoned and they asked me to say the blessing at Thanksgiving.
Speaker 2:Do it. Do it before their.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I thought about it. I haven't tried, but it's an. It's an intriguing. It's an intriguing little task. Corporate Natalie, she's a good one. I follow her on Instagram. Yeah, she's hilarious. There's a guy is a black guy named killer K or killer cam, something like that. He's a large, light skin brother.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:He's hilarious. I think he might be from Georgia or Florida or somewhere, but his stuff's very relatable. He's from somewhere in the south. Yeah, there are. There are a multitude of different ones that I like. Have you thought about doing any of that yourself?
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, and I've done a few. I did this thing and I'm going to do it again this year. We're every day in December up till Christmas I post a reel and I've archived a lot of them because it's hard for me to look at my own work, but I've done a couple little characters here and there, and then you know the boutique that I do pictures and stuff for. I I will do like little characters, but yeah, I have several. I've always had this character in my back pocket, named Rosalyn Peters, who is this journalist from the 1940s who's like this hyper sexual lesbian, who's never not smoking a cigarette, and that's one that I've I've always enjoyed doing when I started vaping when I was like 18. That is when Rosalyn came to me. Oh, are you there?
Speaker 1:Are you still? Are you still vaping?
Speaker 2:No, no, no, no. I quit vaping because of a bladder condition that I have, and so, thankfully, I'm free from the chains of vapes. What about you? No, I'm not vaping.
Speaker 1:However, I did smoke an entire pack of cigarettes this past weekend.
Speaker 2:But you know that's okay spontaneously. That's fine. Were you drunk or just sad?
Speaker 1:Oh, yeah, yeah, I was drunk pretty much two days in a row and stayed up until sunrise on both days.
Speaker 2:So that's great.
Speaker 1:It was fitting for me to smoke cigarettes.
Speaker 2:I love a cigarette. I love them. I haven't had one since like 2017. That's when I quit, but I'd think about them every day, like an ex lover. I mean, I just miss them so much and maybe I'll have one. Maybe I'll have one, you know, a good one cigarette a year or something.
Speaker 1:What's your?
Speaker 2:cigarette of choice.
Speaker 2:Oh, this is hard. Okay, so I started. The first cigarette I ever smoked was a roll your own American spirit that my goth friend rolled up for me our freshman year of college. And so like that is like I think, um, britney, something she has she has a joke about. Like your first drink being ever clear is like losing your virginity to a traffic cone, like I feel like your first cigarette being a roll your own American spirit is sort of akin to that comparison. But I do love American spirits. The light blue ones are very good. Marlboro 27 was always a really, really great one for me. I've been known, I've been known to crush a camel red and that's just. It is what it is. Menthol's get out of my face blues. Get out of my face silvers. Away from me, satan. I'm not doing it. But I like the warmer, the warmer cigarettes. What about you?
Speaker 1:I like menthol, newports and Marlboro lights and Marlboro reds. Also like camels, I'll pretty much smoke anything.
Speaker 2:Sure, sure, no, no, no, I'm not picky if I've had, like a couple of you know, cranberry vodka or whatever I do like so what would you say?
Speaker 1:Parliament's good to what would you say?
Speaker 2:the persona of a Virginia slim smoker is oh, now that is a lady and I say lady who has seen some shit, right, I mean that's. That's a lady who has like a collection of furbies in mint condition in her dilapidated trailer, right.
Speaker 1:I'd say if they're 100s, absolutely.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, if they're 100s. That's a lady who only listens to the song Delta Dawn. That's the only song she ever wants to hear, and that's okay. Tanya Tucker, tanya.
Speaker 1:Tucker sounds like she smoked a couple of Virginia slims herself.
Speaker 2:Respect. Respect to Tanya Tucker. Yeah, that's what I would say. The persona of a Virginia slim smoker is like. That's a lady who sells like lizards in the Walmart parking lot which, speaking of, I was at a love stop, go ahead. Give me the love story.
Speaker 1:Okay, sorry, give me the love story.
Speaker 2:Sure, I was at a love truck stop the other day picking up my daughter which is a very like single mom move to like do the the changeover at a love truck stop. But I was just getting her from my in-laws we're meeting halfway and there was this girl sorority girl looking and she was standing in the truck stop parking lot with a chameleon on her shoulder and I just thought that was interesting, because normally little white girls have like a Pomeranian or something, but this girl had a chameleon and I was like that is a lot lizard Like that is the only time I'm going to see an actual lizard at a truck stop and I thought that was impressive and I think more white women should get chameleons.
Speaker 1:Well, they definitely need to get something besides golden doodles.
Speaker 2:Let's talk about it.
Speaker 1:We have to. This is a, this is an epidemic, mary Rhine, and it has become insanely out of control and unhealthy for these, these women, to anthropomorphize these dogs and treat them better than many of the humans in their lives. Preach. What is the root? What is the root calls in your opinion?
Speaker 2:Oh, I mean okay. So let's take it back to the last time I was on the show and I posed the question do dogs have souls? And we kind of turned that over a couple of times, and I take the strong stance that dogs do not have souls, that we anthropomorphize them and we project our own feelings and emotions onto literal animals, which I think is a pretty human impulse to impose meaning onto non sentient objects. Right? Is an animal sentient? Yes. Does it have a soul? No.
Speaker 2:So I think we do that and that's a normal human thing to do, I think, because third wave feminism has has lied to us and has told us that women can have it all and that you can wait to have kids and that you should stuff down that maternal impulse and pour everything into your career and be a boss, babe, and climb the corporate ladder and pursue your dreams. And I don't need a man, I don't need a man. I think that entire narrative has caused us to take all of our like, caregiving instincts and place them onto dogs. I do, and again, I'm speaking very generally here.
Speaker 2:This is just like a trend that I'm sort of seeing and I have people I have friends that love their dogs and they treat their dogs like humans and white people. They will kiss their dog on the mouth, you know, but then forget to pick up their own child from daycare and I think it's an issue. I'll come right out and say it I love dogs. I think dogs are cute. I'm not advocating for animal abuse, but I'll shoot a dog, I will. I'll shoot a dog If the dog is, you know miserable or dangerous or rabid or whatever.
Speaker 1:I'm not just going to shoot a dog for sport, but I'll shoot a dog if he's outside of my window barking and won't shut up.
Speaker 2:I will hunt a dog down, just no, I will not.
Speaker 1:I will not.
Speaker 2:But a dog's a dog. A dog doesn't have a soul. No matter how much you see of yourself in that golden doodle's eyes, that's just a reflection of you. That's not a real soul in there. Do I think the birth rate in this country? Needs to go up. Absolutely, absolutely, stop breastfeeding your Pomeranian.
Speaker 1:Have a baby, grow up the birth rate thing is yeah, the birth rate thing is disturbing actually.
Speaker 2:I did it. He was going to wipe our ass when we're old Hopefully robots.
Speaker 1:Doesn't look like anybody. Yeah, yeah, the birth rate thing is they'll definitely be able to wipe. They'll definitely be able to wipe asses by then.
Speaker 2:I hope so. They've already got sex worker robots, now we just need elder care robots. I'd say that's a more desperate need, if we're being honest.
Speaker 1:I think our men and our women are growing farther apart.
Speaker 2:I do too, I do too, and I think that go on. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:I think that is obviously contributing to the birth rate, but I think that's also the declining birth rate, but I also think that it's a contributing factor or a symptom of, or I think that the dog anthropomorphizing is a symptom of the men and the women growing farther apart.
Speaker 2:I agree, I completely agree. And I think you know the powers that be whoever they are I don't necessarily think they are, you know, elite, lizard people or anything the powers that be know that the people need to be divided. You know that's why they divide poor whites and poor black people, right. And I think that if you can create division in the home, that's even more powerful. If you can create the distraction of division in the home and keep the men and the women sort of at odds with one another at all times, there's no time to rise up and like overthrow. You know the overlords.
Speaker 2:And I think there's a fine line between like humor that criticizes men and humor that criticizes women. I do it all the time in my set. There's a fine line between that and like general true vitriol toward the opposite sex, which I think you know. You've got incels on one end that are like women aren't. You know women aren't shit and they don't listen and they're terrible and they're all horse. There's that. And then there's women on the other side being like, yeah, I'll just buy a vibrator and never talk to a man ever, and I think both of those ideologies are very dangerous.
Speaker 1:They're dangerous. They're also evidence of a severe lack of awareness, because if I, if I, hate women I'm speaking generally here but if, if me, if I hate women, in most cases it's going to be because I've had negative experiences with women. That doesn't mean that all women are just like the women I've encountered, and in most cases it's probably my fault that I've had negative experiences with women. And so, as opposed to just saying, looking in the mirror and saying, well, maybe it's me, then it's just. Every woman in the world is terrible. Yes, every man. You know same same thing for women when they hate men.
Speaker 2:Yeah, every dude is not your dad. Okay, Every woman is is not your mom. And I think that we have unrealistic expectations of one another. Like I don't hold my husband to the same emotional standard that I hold, say, my best friend, Like he's just going to lack, not to say he's not emotionally intelligent he is, but his ability to emotionally multitask is not as attuned as mine is and I believe that's biological. You know, like all these women who are like my husband, my best friend, my husband's my best friend, why don't you have like a girl best friend? You should have a girl best friend. Love my husband to death, tell him everything. The emotional intimacy is there. But at the same time, if I'm pissed because of something that happened at Hot Works today, I'm probably going to call my best friend about it. You know, if I'm.
Speaker 2:I just I don't, I don't understand why and I used to do this when I was younger and single and dating like I would want a man to have the same sort of emotional ability to do the mental gymnastics that that I had, and that's not fair, you know, that's not fair. Like I don't think my husband demands like a man's logic for me, you know, I don't. I don't think he wants me to be a dude, so I don't know, I feel like I sound like a pig me a lot of men, well, a lot of men, a lot of men do want their wife or their significant other to be a dude.
Speaker 1:They do want them to love football. They do want them to like to grill out, and it's weird. It's weird when you know. I mean, I wouldn't want a woman to want me to go dress shopping, Exactly.
Speaker 2:Exactly, exactly. But I think people are enmeshed and people have an ancient attachment style where they have this false narrative that like we have to do everything together and we have to like all the same things and like to me, what's much more beautiful and much more like emotionally rich is to come together at the end of the day and talk about what we did and then have like a moment where we can do something we both enjoy. But I don't need my husband to go everywhere with me. He doesn't need me to go everywhere with him. Like again, yeah, I don't, I don't like football or operating a grill and I don't think he expects Are y'all? Are y'all all day, every day textures, what no?
Speaker 1:No, I mean like if no, no, no.
Speaker 2:We have full time jobs like no and we've never been. I mean impossible, it's impossible. No, I don't need to go to the gym. I don't need to go to the gym. I don't need to go to the gym, it's impossible. No, I don't need him to text me all day. He did just text me and ask where I got the Tupperware that he brought to his work party. So I mean he does like, sexed me, stuff like that in the middle of the day.
Speaker 1:You know where'd you get the Tupperware? Well, that means he's getting.
Speaker 2:He's getting compliments on the Tupperware. I know I'm actually I've got like I'm excited about that For sure, and Sam's Club I got a Sam's.
Speaker 2:Club. It's five nesting bowls in a beautiful earth tone. It was. It was a great buy 1999 at Sam's. But yeah, I mean informationally. If we see a funny meme or like some one of our friends on Facebook has done something you know particularly embarrassing or shameful like, we'll screenshot that and send it to each other. But no, no, we don't text all day, every day. That's. That's insane, don't you agree?
Speaker 1:I have found that it's absolutely. I think it's insane, absolutely. I'm much more of just like you said, come to get, come together at the end of the day, and I think it's much more rich because you both have the experiences to share with the other at the end of the day, as opposed to have already told them every waking move that you've made throughout the day. I've found, dating in dating, that emotional immaturity and basically emotional illiteracy is rampant and it can be difficult to it can be difficult to discern and tell myself that I'm emotionally mature when, when I believe I make an emotional, emotionally mature decision, the woman flies off the handle and call you know the word that I get have gotten a lot as inconsiderate when really and truly I think it's just a decision that they may not necessarily agree with.
Speaker 2:So can you give me an example and let me speak for all.
Speaker 1:Yes, absolutely. I'm up front with a woman and tell her I do not want to date her but would willingly continue a casual relationship with her, basically just making my intentions known which is admirable, that is admirable.
Speaker 2:Don't string her along.
Speaker 1:Right. What she say depends on the woman, but I have had not all women respond in a negative way, but I have had a higher amount than not respond in ways that I believe are emotionally immature. So you know, cut look, for example, call me inconsiderate or call me. Some have called me a whore, you know, which is fine. I mean I have been throughout my life. At times, I think I think it's important to whore around sometimes.
Speaker 2:Look a ho phase, I would argue, is a fundamental part of growing up. Now I can understand that. Now, being a woman on the other side of that, if I was told I don't want to date you but I want to continue a casual relationship, to me that's like you're offering me, like the opportunity to audit a college course with the full knowledge that I will not receive any credit for said course. So if you really love learning, you know, if you really love just sleeping with Lee Carl like that might be a great opportunity for me.
Speaker 1:Allow me to clarify so when. I say casual, I don't mean exclusively a sexual relationship. I mean I'm not going to your family Christmas there it is Getting you anything for birthday. You know it's not a formal relationship, we are not exclusive.
Speaker 2:Right and that was fun to me.
Speaker 1:But I still cook supper.
Speaker 2:Okay, well, that's good, yes, no, and that still doesn't sound fun to me. But again, you know, and that's just me. But you know the fact that you're being forthright about that like I think that's great, because a lot of people would avoid that question altogether. So I don't think that being forthright about your intentions is inconsiderate. Now let me ask you this Are you ever planning to have a family, to marry a lady and, you know, do something about the birth rate.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. I want to have like five kids.
Speaker 2:Sure yeah, big old family group chat.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. I want to have a bunch of kids.
Speaker 2:Sure, so who? Is with one woman with one woman, and that's a flex. So so, who is this woman? Who is she? What does she like? How would you know?
Speaker 1:Very independent, very smart, very funny, obviously beautiful, great sense of humor. But, above more than anything else, she does not need my dumb ass. She wants me, she enjoys being around me, but if she doesn't have me, she's going to be just fine. I find that quality to be one of the most attractive.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, neatiness on both ends is just such a boner killer. Yeah, I agree, I agree, okay. Well, it remains to be seen if this woman is on hinge.
Speaker 1:Oh, I'm searching, I mean. I may even I may even get the pay plan for 30 days, mary Ryan.
Speaker 2:Probably.
Speaker 1:There are sacrifices that we have to make to find our soulmate, and if it's paying 2099 for a month for hinge just so that I can find her, look, count me in.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I agree, I totally agree, you know, and if all else fails, get out your crystals and just manifest her.
Speaker 1:Well, you know, I've known to, I've been known to. What is the book called the, the present or the, where you do manifest it's like this oh yeah, there's a lot of them where you do manifest the gift the present, something like that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, the secret.
Speaker 1:The secret, that's it.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:What is the secret?
Speaker 2:Girl, not that.
Speaker 1:What hinge?
Speaker 2:No, not manifesting manifesting.
Speaker 2:I think that is the most you know. So symptomatic of like main character syndrome. Like, as much as we want to believe it, we are not the main character in this drama of life. But I don't know what the secret is. I think I just like fell into what I had. I did pray about it before, but I don't think I manifested it and do any spellwork or anything. But honestly, I had to work on myself a lot, like I had to go to therapy. I was a terrible girlfriend in my early 20s. I was super clingy and just needy and emotional and I had to do a lot of work on myself and do a lot of like surrendering to a higher power before I think I was ready to like be in a relationship, be in a healthy relationship with someone else.
Speaker 1:I think many people don't recognize how much work is required to do it right, yeah, and to give the other person and yourself the highest likelihood of fulfilling the potential of the relationship. Yeah, it's a job, you know. It is easier if you have a genuine connection with a person. Now, I'm sure many of those listening are been in situations where they forced relationships and if there's a forced, if you're forcing a connection or you're trying to force chemistry, you need to reassess from the job.
Speaker 2:It'll never work and if they don't smell right, if you get up in that little chest area, this little nest area right here, and you start to smell onions, just quit, just quit.
Speaker 1:That's not the one that's nasty? Yeah, that's or whatever.
Speaker 2:if the smell is not right, go away, because you cannot outwit pheromones Like you simply cannot.
Speaker 1:No, no, this is as natural as it comes. Like I've noticed, sometimes pregnant women have this glow about them.
Speaker 2:Okay pheromones.
Speaker 1:It's the pheromones, yeah it is, it is.
Speaker 2:No, I did not feel that way when I was pregnant, but some people like being pregnant, not me, not me would not recommend, but some people like it, so good for them. But yeah, pheromones you can't. And mine changed like perfume after I had the baby perfume doesn't smell the same on me. I'm actually on the hunt for, like my new signature scent right now, because what used to smell good on me doesn't smell good anymore and it irritates me. But yeah, how do you know?
Speaker 1:this. How do I know this Because?
Speaker 2:I'm not sure. How do I know this?
Speaker 1:Because, objectively.
Speaker 2:I used to get compliments constantly on my perfume, like constantly. When I was in college. My best guy friend and I this is the smartest thing I've ever done, truly, and that's sad because this isn't that smart. But when I was in college, my best guy friend and I we went to this to the mall, and we tried on different colognes and perfumes and we got all up in each other's necks and we smelled everything and he picked for me and I picked for him.
Speaker 2:And that was so smart to have someone of the opposite sex sniffing you and saying this smells good, this doesn't smell good, and for me it was Dior. That's what smelled really good on me. I think it was some sort of YSL for him, I can't remember and I would get compliments constantly. I would go home and be sitting in a blanket and then my sister would tell me that she would take the blanket and sleep with it. That smelled that good and I just stopped getting compliments, even though I didn't change anything. It was after I had the baby. It just didn't smell the same, which is really sad because I had worn that for like I don't know seven years and it just didn't work anymore. So I'm currently on the hunt for my signature scent again.
Speaker 1:Do you have any front runners at this point?
Speaker 2:No, I don't, I don't. In fact, this Friday we're going to be in New Orleans for the two lane game and we're actually going to the Louis Vuitton store to smell perfumed, because my husband wears Louis Vuitton. It smells amazing on him. He's had the bottle for five years. I think his ex-girlfriend gave it to him honestly and it smells so good so I'm like maybe Louis Vuitton is the answer. Who?
Speaker 2:knows, but no, I don't have any front runners. Everything smells jank and I don't trust my own nose. I need him to come smell with me.
Speaker 1:Do you have a?
Speaker 2:signature scent.
Speaker 1:Yes, but I don't have to have cologne to have it. I just came out smelling good.
Speaker 2:That's crazy. Good for you.
Speaker 1:I wear lotion, sometimes like on my neck, but I don't wear cologne per se. I rely on the soap and deodorant and lotion the combo of those three things to produce the signature. Lee Carlton Smith's mail.
Speaker 2:And that's beautiful. And that's good for you and I think you know gotta have soap, gotta have deodorant. I think the lotion is a nice extra for a man. I think that's. That's a little land gap and I like that.
Speaker 1:I get. I get ashy and dry.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:So I have to. I have to apply during the wintertime. Now, in the summertime, for obvious reasons, with all the humidity and I'm outside all the time, I don't have a problem with dry skin. Yeah, during the wintertime I have to. I have to apply and reapply so I can stay healthy and glowing.
Speaker 2:Amen, amen. Men's hygiene Such a funny thing.
Speaker 1:Many of us do not have it.
Speaker 2:I've noticed, so I've noticed.
Speaker 1:It's so sad Now.
Speaker 2:I've never dated a man who wasn't clean, because right, that's a non negotiable. That's a non negotiable. You can be a little crazy, that's fine, but you got to be using Irish spring regularly. You can't stink, you can't, you certainly cannot.
Speaker 1:I mean even in the morning, like the like the whole breath thing, like that's a tough thing for anybody, but Even still, even then, if I wake up and I can, you know, just smell just even a hint of ass, breath might not work out.
Speaker 2:That's enough for me to take a valve of celibacy. I'll tell you that. I'll tell you that we're done. We're done, I can't do it. Yeah, hygiene is a non-negotiable.
Speaker 1:I mean, that's got to you know, I mean, I'm not going to say that, but you know, one of the worst, one of the worst situations is when a female has not tended to herself downstairs.
Speaker 2:Oh, we're going to talk about it, okay.
Speaker 1:Absolutely, we're going to talk about it. I mean, it's a. That's one of the most unfortunate and distinct smells that exist.
Speaker 2:Even hygiene is tough and you know, I only know myself, right, I've never been invited downstairs on another lady. So you know, I only know me. It's a. It's a delicate, delicate dance, I imagine, you know.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I wonder what's going on there?
Speaker 2:Scented soap. It's a pH, ph imbalance. Some people they just get too. They put too many scents down there and you know the vagina is a self-regulating organ. So really you just need to keep it clean, but you don't need all the bells and whistles. Is what I understand. You know it's a pH thing.
Speaker 1:Yes, I have, it's all the diet.
Speaker 2:Right, it's diet, it's hydration, it's you know, your clothes. It's a lot of that stuff.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I've not run into it very often. However, there was one time when I was involved with the lady sexually and in true lecar form. I told her that her vagina had a smell. I was very. I was like this is not a reason for me to ghost you. You know, I feel that it's my responsibility to tell you what's going on and give you an opportunity to fix it. I didn't say it just like that, but that's that's how my thought process. And so she took that information in and went back to her hygiene routine. And so the next time I'm like hell, yeah, it's going to be all fixed now. No, it was worse.
Speaker 2:See, and that could just be a pheromone thing, can't believe? You told her. Can't decide how I feel about it, but I think that might just be pheromones too.
Speaker 1:So what am I supposed to do in that situation?
Speaker 2:Goodbye. You're never going to overcome that Give up Quit.
Speaker 1:Well, eventually I finally did.
Speaker 2:It didn't work out, did it yeah?
Speaker 1:No, no, yeah, but like I thought that the just the you know, I very rarely had it on multiple occasions be rank.
Speaker 2:Yeah, look, sometimes you can't fix it. I guess, I don't know.
Speaker 1:Apparently not, but it may be one of those things Like you're saying, like only my nose smells it that way.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I really do. I think it's a pheromones thing, but that is fascinating. Again, I'm not a vagina expert on anybody but me, so why would so?
Speaker 1:you don't give me any credit for being honest with her and telling her.
Speaker 2:I do. But when it is something that personal and that physical, I personally just and have, I have just tapped out and said, because I know it's not going to work, if you have to tell somebody to clean it, like to me, it is a reason to ghost somebody. If you have, if you suspect that their hygiene routine is off, it is a reason to ghost them. You know, like, yeah, mm-mm, mm-mm. So I don't know. I mean, I give you a little credit. I can't believe there was a next time. I can't believe, like if someone told me that it would be my last day on the planet, we would be done.
Speaker 1:We were on FaceTime when I told her and I wish I could have had a screenshot of her face.
Speaker 2:You told her on FaceTime.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:That her Gucci steak.
Speaker 1:That's right.
Speaker 2:That's crazy. That's crazy, but you know, more power to you. I think you're going to meet just the perfect woman someday and I think it's 100% not going to be that girl.
Speaker 1:I know it's not going to be that girl.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that's crazy.
Speaker 1:How do we get you a podcast set up? Did you ever do anything with the list that I sent you of equipment?
Speaker 2:I think that Santa Claus is going to be bringing me one.
Speaker 1:Very nice.
Speaker 2:Yes, and it definitely has to do with the list that you gave me, so I'm very, very grateful for that.
Speaker 1:Best news I've heard all day.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I would love to have a podcast so that I can just traumatize my guests.
Speaker 1:How would you? How would you? How are you going to format it when you do? Because I know you're going to get it. You're going to get it done. What's it going to be like?
Speaker 2:Well it's going to be called. I don't want to say what it's going to be called, but I'm going to start by interviewing my family, especially my dad, because he likes to cry. He's a very emotionally upfront man and so we're just going to, and he's got a lot of crazy stories from his life, so we're just going to cry about some stuff together but also laugh about some stuff together. But yeah, I think I would just interview people that I find interesting. Again, not a lot of movers like big, you know, influential in the classical sense of the word people at first, but maybe we could, we could get there, but it would be like a comedy storytelling conversational podcast.
Speaker 1:Do you like Whitney Cummings?
Speaker 2:Yeah, of course. Yeah, I love her. She's pregnant.
Speaker 1:She is pregnant at 40.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Apparently it was accidental, but I heard her say the other day that she wants to have another one because she doesn't want her child to be an only child.
Speaker 2:Well, good for her.
Speaker 1:That's crazy. She kind of play with fire there.
Speaker 2:Uh, be an old.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, I guess. But you know, like stranger things have happened. She's 40. That's not disgustingly old. Like she's saved some eggs previously, that could also be helpful. I don't know if she has frozen any, but I know that a lot of like higher profile women like to do that. Um, I mean, that's not the craziest thing I've ever heard. My mom had twins at 37. Um, accidentally, not accident Brooks and Bessie, you're not accidents. Okay, you know what I mean? I'm not accidents, but spontaneously, non medically, had had twins at 37. So I don't think it's like the craziest thing in the world, but, um, I wouldn't want to be pregnant at 40.
Speaker 1:No, I think it would be. Uh. Well, before I answer that, I would say it depends on what my 30s consisted of.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, if there were which for a man it's so different, because you know our line of thinking is well shit, I'll just wait till I'm 45 and then impregnate a 25 year old and cool.
Speaker 2:Yeah yeah, the biological clock is a real curse.
Speaker 1:Um, it is a real curse.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1:I don't envy women in that regard.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you shouldn't. Um, pregnancy is so crazy Like, and I had the easiest one and I'm still like mm don't know if I'd recommend it Um, and I rode nine miles on a Peloton the day I gave birth and I still am like mm, like not much about my life changed and it was still just wildly inconvenient.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Um, but yeah glad I did it Glad.
Speaker 1:I did it. So you said you weren't, you didn't want to have quote unquote influential people on at first. What do you mean by that?
Speaker 2:Well, like, I'm not gunning to get like anybody specific. Really I'm very interested in my family's story and I think at first, like, I just kind of want to record my family members so that I have that for posterity. I think they're very interesting people. Um, I'd love to have my memo on the podcast because she's hilarious and she's so cute and like she's 83 and she's gorgeous and she's just, she's so funny and just such a light. So I would just like to have those things on hand just for posterity.
Speaker 2:But I think other people would enjoy the stories of my family as well. Um, just because I think they have a unique perspective and like, everything I learned about storytelling I kind of got from my dad, and a lot of what I learned from comedy I got from my mom. So I would just like to have have their stories on hand and ask them questions that I've always wanted to ask them. We did that with my grandfather before he died. We set up a video camera and we're like tell us everything. You had polio, what was that like? And like I kind of want to do that, you know. Um, and I'd like to have my friends. Like I think my friends stories are super fascinating. Um. So yeah, I'd like to do that at first and then sort of expand that there are definitely some people in the area that I would love to have on the show that I think are really interesting. Um, I think other storytellers and writers and comedians, that sort of thing For sure, for sure.
Speaker 1:You can definitely tap into that, because you obviously have met a lot of people in your travels thus far on the comedy tours or comedy going to do shows and meeting people at different clubs and stuff like that. So I think that's, I think that sounds like we should get it sooner rather than later.
Speaker 2:Let's hope so. County line people, if you're looking for a different flavor of trauma, trauma D Come see me. Come see me.
Speaker 1:When will you be? So you said you've got. Your next show is when.
Speaker 2:December 2nd in Ocean Springs at the loft Um, and I have some stuff after that, but I don't have it in front of me. So yeah, and then every Thursday night at Sopro in Hattiesburg we have an open mic.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I need to come back and try my hand again.
Speaker 2:Come tear it up, come tear it up. We have an every evolving comedy scene. Well it's a blessing.
Speaker 1:It's a blessing that y'all have that going on. I mean, it sounds like Hattiesburg's had a, an assemblance, some semblance of a comedy scene for the past. What decade.
Speaker 2:Even more, yeah, yeah, since 2010.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's awesome. So, have you found that it's a little more difficult to work out, so to speak? I mean, I know you've got Sopro every week, so that's you know. You can always depend on that. But outside of that, have you had any trouble, if at all, finding other places to just perform?
Speaker 2:No, not really. Um, because there's so much in New Orleans and the people in that scene have just been really kind and gracious to me. So I know I have that, um lunchbox comedy that I'm part of. We do shows all the time and and I feel very welcome and accepted there and those are shows like all throughout, kind of Cajun country, um. So no, I feel like I have a good sort of set of places that I can perform, but as far as weekly like working out new stuff, yeah, sopro is, is the place and that audience is so mean, they're so mean, and I love it because, um, that's really where, like you can sort of do the baptism by fire and like work out new material and see if it's really, is it novelty or is it quality, and like I feel like that audience will let you know.
Speaker 1:So give you a pretty good indicator of what, what direction you're headed.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:Well, our live has ended, Mary Ryan, um, beautiful, oh Lord, yeah, so this has been absolutely very entertaining. I appreciate you taking an hour and 45 minutes to come on and talk shit with me. I appreciate it and let's do it again. Any time rather than later. Let's not do five, five months in between next time.
Speaker 2:Okay, all right, that sounds good. Yeah, so thank you for everything. Stay on Hinge, don't give up.
Speaker 1:Thank you, Mary Ryan Bye for now and G'day, if you do.