From Rut to Reinvention: Break Free from Identity Foreclosure and Create Your Next Chapter

That feeling of being "stuck" isn't what you think it is. In this deep-dive conversation, we uncover the surprising truth—you're not actually trapped, you're just comfortable. Too comfortable. And that sensation of stuckness? It's actually your internal compass signaling that you've outgrown your current reality.

We explore the science behind why we get trapped in mental ruts through subconscious habits and "autopilot living." These default patterns form neural pathways that keep us repeating outdated behaviors, even when they no longer serve us. But here's where it gets really interesting—your brain is literally designed for reinvention. Through neuroplasticity, you can rewire your thought patterns at any age, allowing you to recreate yourself whenever you choose.

Many of us have fallen victim to "identity foreclosure"—clinging to outdated roles or adopting beliefs from parents, society, and culture without questioning them. A fascinating 2018 study found this severely impacts psychological well-being and our perceived life possibilities. But we break down how to recognize when you've outgrown an identity and the exact steps to release it.

The most empowering revelation? Reinvention doesn't require a five-year plan—it requires what we call "a brave five minutes" where you make the decision to change, followed by consistent alignment. We share our simple yet powerful four-step method: plant a seed (set an intention), pull a weed (release what's limiting you), water daily (take consistent action), and watch it bloom (visualize your expansion).

Ready to break free from mental ruts and step into a reinvented version of yourself? This episode gives you the framework, the science, and the practical tools to make it happen. Your future self is already reaching back to pull you out of that rut—are you ready to meet them halfway?

Transcript

Welcome to The Empowerment Couple

Speaker 1 0:00

Keep it fresh, michael, don't get in a rut.

Speaker 2 0:03

You know what? It is impossible for me to get in a rut. You know why?

Speaker 1 0:08

Why.

Speaker 2 0:08

Because I have a rut-free system.

Speaker 1 0:11

You have a rut-free system.

Speaker 2 0:15

A rut-free system. I'll share that system with you later.

Speaker 1 0:18

What's a rut-free?

Speaker 2 0:20

Actually, I'll share the system with you now. The rut-free system is to marry a redhead Right, because they don't allow you to be in ruts for very long.

Speaker 1 0:31

Get your ass out of bed. They light you on fire real quick, exactly what you doing.

Speaker 2 0:38

Come on, oh, are you in a rut? Well, guess what? I go through a phoenix phase Boom.

Speaker 1 0:43

We don't have time to be sad.

Speaker 2 0:46

No, not at all, we don't have time to be lazy.

Speaker 1 0:48

We got time to be. Let's go, yo, no, no. Welcome to the Empowerment Couple Podcast, where your path to self-mastery expands.

Speaker 2 0:57

My co-host is Empowerment Coach Zuri Starr.

Speaker 1 0:59

And he's Expansion Coach Mikey Starr.

Speaker 2 1:02

Together we are the Empowerment Couple.

Speaker 1 1:05

Our mission is simple to serve you, love, so you can make informed decisions to regain and maintain your personal power.

Speaker 2 1:11

We'll take you on a journey to a life filled with purpose, passion and limitless possibilities, while sharing stories of transformation, wellness hacks and healthy habits backed by science and ancient wisdom.

Speaker 1 1:23

Plus, we'll keep you entertained with engaging games, banter and funny innuendos along the way. Each episode is an exciting blend of education, entertainment and empowerment designed to help you create a mindset to be a magnet for more love, happiness and abundance.

Speaker 2 1:39

Together with our special guests. We are dedicated to sharing information that empowers you to create your most beautiful life. A one-zine, a two-zine, a three-zine your most beautiful life.

Speaker 1 1:56

I got nothing. I got nothing.

Speaker 2 1:59

You're supposed to say something I forgot.

Speaker 1 2:05

LFG that's where I can go. Ooh, I like that. That's where I forgot LFG let's fucking go. That's where I am. That's the vibe I'm in. Let's fucking go.

Why We Get Stuck: The Comfort Trap

Speaker 2 2:13

Mine is we're already going, we're already going, let's keep going. All right, what do we got today?

Speaker 1 2:20

Okay, well, listen A lot of times, what I'm experiencing in my coaching practice and also just seeing a general theme that happens to people is they get stuck.

Speaker 2 2:33

They get stuck.

Speaker 1 2:34

And they use that word stuck like it's a thing.

Speaker 2 2:37

It's a part of the narrative.

Speaker 1 2:39

Right, and it's a part of the story and it's like, oh, I don't know, I feel stuck and the sensation of being stuck. None of us are ever really stuck right Never. That's the funny thing about that word. It's like unless you are like in the Grand Canyon, without like feet.

Speaker 2 2:56

Without feet. You're coming up with an example on the fly and it's not going to work out for you.

Speaker 1 3:02

Wait, that is a good example. If you're in the Grand Canyon without feet, you might be stuck.

Speaker 2 3:08

You might be stuck. Here's a better one. If you are on the surface of the moon and you went and got a rocket ship home, you're stuck.

Speaker 1 3:15

That would be a stuck. There's very rarely. When you talk to somebody in the situation that they're in, whether they're feeling stuck or not, they're not really stuck. Not really Because, like there's usually a mode of getting out of the situation, there's a way out. Exactly what?

Speaker 2 3:34

it is. It's actually when they're stuck. What it really means is that they're comfortable.

Speaker 1 3:39

Ooh, they're comfortable. Yeah.

Speaker 2 3:41

And getting stuck basically means that you're so comfortable that you are uncomfortable.

Speaker 1 3:46

And that you're fearful of basically expanding.

Speaker 2 3:50

Exactly.

Speaker 1 3:51

Mm-hmm. So if you're feeling stuck, here's how you can break free. Mike and I have broke free many times from the sensation, or the mental chatter narrative, of being stuck, quote, unquote, air quotes, stuck right, and we're going to teach you how to as well today. So if you're really feeling that sensation of like I'm stuck, I'm not making any progress, whatever it is, we're going to dive into that. And a little preview of this episode is we are going to talk about reinvention, because reinvention is not just possible, it's your birthright.

Speaker 2 4:33

I love that. I love that. It's your birthright. It is designed in your DNA. You have the ability to rebirth yourself on a regular basis.

Speaker 1 4:40

Yeah, because, if you think about it, our bodies are always regenerating and that's just part of our makeup as humans. So today we are breaking down what it means to reset your internal compass and create a new life chapter from the inside out. Boom shakalaka. Inside indeed, and do you have any recent stories or what's going on with you that relates to reinvention?

Speaker 2 5:04

You know what, for me, that's a really easy thing, because we are in spring, it's the season of reinvention. So I actually spent some time, as you know, in the garden about two days ago, and I am reinventing a space that was overgrown and I'm going to put in its space a garden space that was overgrown and I'm going to put in its space a garden, right?

Speaker 2 5:28

Yes, so so for me, it was more a seeing something that I wanted to change and actually taking the necessary steps to make it happen. I mean, it wasn't fun work. However, it required me to be like okay, so what it is do I really want? Yes, so how can I make, how can I make it go from looking gross to actually looking nice? Action activity. You actually have to jump in and actually do it, which is part of the reinvention process the will the actions, the embodiment.

Speaker 1 6:01

Yeah, for me this time of year it's like birth month for me, april, and I always do a lot of reinventing and kind of assessing, like, oh, what's happened, and take stock of, like, where I am. Um, in a lot of calendars, especially in ancient times, they used spring as the beginning of a calendar. Um, and you, like the Western civilization, came up with the whole January as the middle of winter, which doesn't make a lot of sense, right?

Speaker 2 6:34

Not even close.

Speaker 1 6:35

For me. I always feel like there is, not just because it's my birth month, but I do feel like there's a sense of like renewal, because you're paying attention to what's happening with nature, like you're seeing fresh buds and you're seeing, you know, new grass and you know, depending on where you live, you're seeing, um the birds return and you know it's like a very special time of year. It's one of my favorite times of year, but it also is a time where I feel like you have to uncover what isn't working and focus on where you want to go and identity shifting and all of that stuff, right, yeah, you have to do a little bit of self-assessment.

Speaker 1 7:17

Mm-hmm. So we are going to talk about that because it's very present in our life and we are seeing so many people on our socials and in our coaching practice going through the same thing. So, hey, let's talk about why we get stuck in the first place.

Speaker 2 7:35

That is the perfect place to start.

Four Common Causes of Feeling Stuck

Speaker 1 7:38

Right. So there's four common causes of feeling stuck. The first is subconscious habits and autopilot living. So what do we mean when we talk about these two things?

Speaker 2 7:54

Well, I feel like subconscious habits are really those habits that we don't see but have a profound effect in our lives, right? So one of our subconscious habits could be that we tend to be a little bit more cautious than we're supposed to be, right? Yeah so if we're thinking about something new coming down the pike, that subconscious habit could be like oh, that might be too big for you, that might be too big for you, and then, instead of taking action, you're going to pause.

Speaker 1 8:31

Right, so the subconscious habits are basically like default patterns and the autopilot living is the same. It's like without conscious awareness you're doing these things.

Speaker 1 8:45

So a couple examples of subconscious habits would be like reaching for your phone first thing in the morning. So I'm going to tell on myself that when I'm out of habit, that is something that I will do. When I'm in habit, I will get up, I will scrape the tongue, drink the water, do the workout and then grab my phone after coffee. But that is very challenging for me. That is something that I struggle with.

Speaker 2 9:09

So subconscious habit example, I think mine is opening the refrigerator while I'm not hungry. Yes, what's in here?

Speaker 1 9:17

Negative self-talk is a big one, reacting with defensiveness. Snacking, for example A lot of people snack when they're bored, or they stress eat, or they emotional snack. And then let's talk about some autopilot living. Would be like if you are driving somewhere and then you get to the destination, you don't remember even getting there because you're in your head maybe having a fight with a coworker or having some type of processing. So that's like autopilot living. That would be an example. Or staying in an unfulfilling relationship that's like an extreme example of autopilot living, where you're just like doing the thing but not really consciously being in the thing, like you're disconnected, you're checked out.

Speaker 2 10:06

Yeah, you're in the groove, you don't? Have to do much, you just follow the groove Exactly.

Speaker 1 10:09

Yeah, there's other things, like scrolling social media for hours and not having any awareness of how long you've been doing it. Another common one is not knowing what you truly want. Isn't that trippy? Just like if you aren't thinking about what you really want out of your life. You are going to have an autopilot experience.

Speaker 2 10:31

Of course. And then at that point you really you know it's the Jones effect. You're reaching for whatever someone else around you has. Right Thinking that that's exactly what you want, when in fact, you're just being sold yeah.

Speaker 1 10:42

Instead of being the pilot, so when, in fact, you're just being sold, yeah, instead of being the pilot, so the autopilot, or you get to be the pilot or co-pilot. Like if you're in a relationship, you get to be the co-pilot, but if you're on autopilot, somebody else is running your show. You're like a person who has a Tesla and they're telling the Tesla where to go. Yeah, exactly, you're not in charge anymore, honey. So what's another one?

Speaker 2 11:04

Well, there's the tendency to build an identity based off of old versions of ourselves right. So let's say you know you are in your 30s or 40s and you're still dealing with stuff that you dealt with in high school, right? You're kind of projecting those old patterns onto your new reality. So of course you're going to be in the rut because you're living the same identity over and over and over again the same narrative over and, over and over again. It's going to be the same circumstances but different characters.

Speaker 1 11:41

And number three.

Speaker 2 11:42

Another one, of course, is the fear of the unknown right. So that is a huge one, because comfort keeps people static right. As long as you're comfortable, you're good. The minute you have to go outside your comfort zone, that's where the fear comes in. Anything could happen, positive or negative, yep, but a lot of people will stay within their comfort zone because they're fearful of the unknown.

Speaker 1 12:14

Yeah, another one would be societal timelines and expectations. So these are very common in certain professions. They'll tell you like oh, you know, let's say you want to be a gymnast.

Speaker 1 12:29

And they're like oh, if you haven't made it to this level by the time you're 12, there's no way you can be a gymnast right and or if you want to be a singer, for example, using something you know, uh, there's many times in my career where they're like, oh, if you haven't made it by 19, you're too old. And it's like what you know, and then, like you know, obviously this could happen for anybody in any stage of their life. It's the you're too young, you're too old, you're too this, you know, you're not enough something. Right, you're too old, you're too this, you're not enough something.

Speaker 1 13:05

And so I just want to give you a couple good examples of people who broke the mold, because I think that that would be fun. Just to point out that society might tell you you can't do something because of your age or because you aren't this or that enough. And there's really so many examples we could give. That could be an entire show of people who have broke the mold, who have figured out a way to do it and have major success, without fitting inside of this narrative Like, oh, after 30, you're done, you know, or whatever the number is. Um, there's like Colonel Sanders, which everyone knows, that story which you know, I'm not like a.

Speaker 1 13:41

KFC girl or anything, but when he was 62, he founded Kentucky Fried Chicken after like a lifetime of odd jobs and failures, and I think it was like over 100 or something times that he tried to get his recipe to take off.

Speaker 2 13:58

I always wondered why he always portrayed himself as an old dude. No, no, he was. He was naturally an old dude. He was an old dude. No, no, he was. He was naturally an old dude. He was an old dude.

Speaker 1 14:08

Yeah, that's funny, there's so many, but I'll just name a couple other that I think are interesting and obviously that people will know, just to remind you, if you're feeling stuck it's not over, if you're 40 up or 30 up or 25 up, whatever age you are. I hear 19 and 20 year olds being like, oh my gosh, I didn't do anything with my life. I'm like, oh girl, your life is just starting. Come on Samuel Jackson. How old was he when he got his break?

Speaker 2 14:41

I would say somewhere in his late 50s.

Speaker 1 14:44

No late 40s 46. Late 40s okay, how old do you think Martha Stewart was?

Speaker 2 14:49

Oh goodness, I'd say late 80s.

Speaker 1 14:55

Come on, I don't know.

Speaker 2 15:00

I'm going to say, based off this game, late 50s.

Speaker 1 15:04

This isn't the game, actually, but 41. Okay, stan Lee. This is something you should know. How old was Stan Lee when he did Spider-Man?

Speaker 2 15:15

Oh my goodness, Wasn't he like a he created the Marvel Universe, right?

Speaker 1 15:19

So in case you don't know, this is like I know who Stan Lee is, I know you do. Yeah, but the empowered posse may not. Okay. He's in a lot of movies actually, I know, but still, I'm just saying, if you're not into the whole pop culture, marvel thing.

Speaker 2 15:33

I'm going to go for late 40s.

Speaker 1 15:35

He was 39.

Speaker 2 15:36

Oh, I was getting close 39., yes, 39.

Speaker 1 15:38

And then he kept going until his 90s.

Speaker 2 15:40

And here's the thing with this, the whole societal timelines that gets me is like there are so many people who are just as talented as all the people who you just mentioned and yet they're doing nothing with their talents because they feel that their time has already passed.

Speaker 1 15:59

Yeah, there's a lot of people who are not afraid of failure, but they're afraid of success, and in all of that there's like a lot of regret. That, I think, is what's most, what's scariest.

Speaker 2 16:14

You know, and the thing is is that that also comes with its own momentum, you know, as you start getting into those negative emotions. So that is the definition of a rut. So let's keep going.

Speaker 1 16:26

So a 2018 study published in Frontiers in Psychology found that identity foreclosure, which is clinging to outdated roles, limits psychological well-being and perceived life possibilities.

Speaker 2 16:40

So I'm very much looking forward to hearing this study, but I'm telling you, this identity foreclosure is a huge topic right now.

Breaking Age Barriers and Societal Timelines

Speaker 1 16:48

Yeah, so let's look at the study a little closer, especially when individuals adopt the rules or beliefs handed to them by, like their parents, society, culture, pop culture, religion definitely religion, without question. So it's also driven by external expectations. So people foreclose on their identity to gain approval, avoid conflict or follow tradition, rather than exploring their own desires and truths. And then there's a lack of exploration. So a core feature is no personal exploration. The person hasn't tried any different roles or questioned the status quo.

Speaker 2 17:41

Well, they just stay in plain.

Speaker 1 17:42

They simply chose or they were accepted with whatever was presented and they didn't explore further. And then it also. What they found is that it can lead to a crisis later on.

Speaker 1 17:56

So, many people experience an identity crisis, dissatisfaction or burnout later in life, especially midlife. This is that midlife crisis people talk about. Or it's like post-career, when they've made it to a certain point. It's when they don't feel fulfilled anymore, when they're like, oh, I made it to the top and now what? And it's not really what they wanted and they didn't explore anything else, so they didn't even do the gut check like, oh, is this what I want? They're just like, maybe climbing the corporate ladder. That's very common, so maybe let's give some examples.

Speaker 2 18:30

Yeah, I mean like, like what you said, like becoming a lawyer or something, because your family expects it. So, without ever considering other paths, you become a lawyer.

Speaker 1 18:39

Yep.

Speaker 2 18:40

Or adopting a religion or a lifestyle or a political belief system, purely because you were raised in it, right? So people who were born a Democrat are always going to be a Democrat.

Speaker 1 18:50

People born you know whatever is always going to be in that box, and then you have like and they never like personally reflected or like challenged the status quo of their identity, correct or challenged the status quo of their identity.

Speaker 2 19:05

Correct Marrying young to fulfill a cultural or a family norm, having children early not because of their true emotional readiness, but because that's what their moms did. Yeah.

Speaker 1 19:18

It's like they just followed the cycle of generational path.

Speaker 2 19:22

Exactly At 20,.

Speaker 1 19:23

we had three kids and then boom, yeah yeah, crazy, okay. So, looking back at the study, the other thing that they found was that it might offer some type of temporary stability. This is when you go for, like the money job instead of the passion project or whatever. It's usually when parents are like well, we'll pay for your college if you don't become a dirty musician, like whatever. So it often feels safe, secure, initially, because it provides a clear role or structure, but it lacks like the personal alignment, like what your purpose is or like why you're here. That's why it's so beautiful when young people, while they're still like in high school, like do perfect purpose statements, you know, and do the purpose, work and as you know. Or take a gap year and figure out why they want to be here, what they actually want to do, like check in. So here's the path out. They found that you can begin with self-inquiry and that is dis-identifying from rules or maybe conditioning.

Speaker 2 20:29

So basically what works and what doesn't?

Speaker 1 20:31

Yes, and then it usually involves a period of uncertainty or exploration, so they call this identity moratorium, yeah, and so you basically are like looking through, you know, your catalog of like what you want to do with your life.

Speaker 2 20:48

Exactly.

Speaker 1 20:49

And you know identifying.

Speaker 2 20:50

Which can be scary.

Speaker 1 20:51

Yes, and like it's a period of uncertainty and exploration, they say yeah. And so, yeah, lots and lots of fear. And this is just part of that path out. It's a necessary part of getting out, and it often leads to identity achievement, where choices are made from a place of self-awareness and authenticity. Therefore, more fulfillment. So that's the path out.

Speaker 2 21:16

And the positive thing about what you're saying is like ruts are actually good.

Speaker 1 21:21

Yeah, they tell you you're going the wrong way. Yes, it's misalignment.

Speaker 2 21:24

Ruts are good, and I say they're good for two reasons. A, they kind of keep you safe until you are strong enough to climb out of the rut, and once you're strong enough to climb out of the rut, boom. That's when you connect with that identity achievement that you're talking about, where your actions and your choices are based off of you being centered right, you being in control, versus you following someone else's narrative.

Speaker 1 21:48

Yep, yep for sure. So a good quote for this section of our show is you can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep rereading the last one.

Speaker 2 22:00

Ooh, rereading. I love that, that is true, I am not a big fan of rereading, but I have reread quite a bit in my life.

Speaker 1 22:11

For sure.

The Science of Reinvention

Speaker 2 22:12

So let's get into this next segment, and this is going to be about the science of reinvention, right? So yes, there is a science. Part of it, of course, is what you're talking about is the self-assessment and getting into that work, and a lot of the times, one of the best tools to do so is meditation, and during the process of meditation, you have the capacity and ability to change the wiring in your brain, also known as neuroplasticity, so you can literally rewrite your brain at any age, and it really comes down to will and action.

Speaker 1 22:48

Yeah, neuroplasticity is the jam.

Speaker 2 22:51

Yeah, so it's all about creating new thought patterns and behaviors, and that will lead you to a new identity reinforcement. So you want to create something brand new, you're going to have to do new thoughts and new behaviors.

Speaker 1 23:05

And you can do it at any age.

Speaker 2 23:07

Any age. There's a really cool study from a neuroscientist, dr Sarah Lazar, and she found out that meditation self-awareness that we're talking about changes the structure of the brain, thickening regions associated with memory, introspection and emotional regulation. That is neuroplasticity at work, right there, ooh, now you got it. You like that? Yeah, I love that. Well, I'm going to hit you up with a quick quote from Dr Joe Dispenza. He states when you change your mind, you change your life 100%.

Speaker 2 23:45

I like the double entendre with that mind. You're literally changing your mind, how you think and actually how it works, like the physical part of your mind. It's delicious.

Speaker 1 23:55

Yes, I love everything, joe Dispenza.

Speaker 2 23:58

Listen, you're not stuck, You're just rehearsing a past identity on repeat. Reinvention is a decision away. Just one decision One decision. You like that.

Speaker 1 24:09

It's very true, and I do think that when you are living an identity on repeat, many times it is not consciously being done.

Speaker 2 24:21

Yeah, that's that subconscious that we're talking about.

Signs It's Time to Reinvent Yourself

Speaker 1 24:23

Yeah, so let's get into segment three Signs it's time to reinvent baby.

Speaker 2 24:31

And let me tell you, the time is always now.

Speaker 1 24:35

Right. If this is hitting home, yay. But here's some signs to look out for if you feel disconnected from your work, relationships or routines.

Speaker 2 24:47

You've outgrown old goals and don't know what's next.

Speaker 1 24:51

Your body is giving you signs, so like fatigue, low energy, apathy.

Speaker 2 24:58

You secretly feel like there's more, but you don't know how to access it.

Speaker 1 25:02

There's like more. There must be something more, or yeah, there's that feeling of like incomplete or unfulfilled, and journaling, for example, it would be a way for you to really find out what's going on internally. It's just kind of let yourself free, write and figure out, you know what's going on and let's give you a journal prompt.

Speaker 2 25:21

Yeah, I mean, there's no better tool, no better self-assessment tool than journaling, right? It's like receipt of how you're feeling in that moment and then you can go back and track your progress. It's beautiful.

Speaker 1 25:33

So here's a good prompt what in my life is no longer aligned with who I am becoming?

Speaker 2 25:41

Ooh, what in my life is no longer aligned with who I am becoming. That's a good one.

Speaker 1 25:47

Yeah, and if you don't love journaling, you know you can also sit in meditation with some of these prompt ideas that we give you on our show, or you can walk in nature with them. If you have a question on the brain, just know it will get answered.

Speaker 2 26:03

Oh yeah, most certainly.

Spring Into Your New Season Game

Speaker 1 26:04

So let's play a little game. Is it game time? It's game time, it's game time.

Speaker 2 26:10

All right, all right. I got a smile on my face. You know what that means. That means I'm ready.

Speaker 1 26:16

Got to break it up. It's time to play Spring Into your New Season. Ooh, A game where we clear the clutter, plant some soulful seeds and water the version of you that's ready to bloom. Oh, I'm ready to bloom, honey.

Speaker 2 26:32

You don't need a new year to start over, zuri. No, all you need is a new moment.

Speaker 1 26:37

Yes, right now.

Speaker 2 26:38

How about now? And a little intention. So let's begin.

Speaker 1 26:41

Oh, I love it. I love a new moment and intention.

Speaker 2 26:45

Do it.

Speaker 1 26:45

Okay, so here's how we're going to play this we're going to play it's basically in four rounds.

Speaker 2 26:57

And we're going to use a spring-inspired metaphor, or garden-inspired really, because we will play this again. I never use garden metaphors.

Speaker 1 27:00

Yeah, I know so you're probably laughing right now If you are part of the Empowered Posse and you've heard our episodes. We often refer to the gardening metaphors for like everything. So here we go again. Why not change behavior? Just keep it going, keep it moving. So the first round is going to be plant a seed, where you are essentially manifesting, which you know we love over here at the empowerment couple okay, um, you're gonna set a new intention or desire, okay, so this is where you plant a seed. Okay. The second phase is going to be pull a weed. So this means where you're going to let go of something that's draining you, or outdated, no longer working, or where it's keeping you stuck, maybe. Okay, um, stopping your growth, you're going to pull that weed, okay. Number three is you're going to water it daily. These are your little action steps. These are habits, uh, rituals. You're going to choose a small, aligned action or a thought to nurture the seed. This is what's going to feed your seed okay okay, number um, you're going to watch it bloom.

Speaker 1 28:05

So this is where you visualize who you are becoming.

Speaker 2 28:08

Oh, I like watching it.

Speaker 1 28:09

So more manifestation, okay, so planting a seed. I'm going to ask you what's one new desire, goal or frequency you're ready to call in this season and you would say in response I want to launch my offer with confidence, for example. So I want to blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 2 28:30

Okay, okay. What's one new desire? I got a whole laundry list. I want to adopt the practice of Qigong so that I can deepen my relationship with my physical body. Is that good?

Speaker 1 28:44

Yeah, that's great, that's a great seed you're planting.

Speaker 2 28:48

Okay, all right, all right.

Speaker 1 28:49

So let's pull a weed. What's a belief, a habit, distraction or something that's going to take up your space in your mental garden that you need to let it go or pull it out? Say it out loud. I want you to imagine releasing it from your nervous system.

Speaker 2 29:04

Okay, you to imagine releasing it from your nervous system. Okay, how about I release the thought that I don't have the time or focus to start another healthy practice?

Speaker 1 29:16

Oh, I like that, I like that. So a false belief and that whole. Oh, I don't have time. It's like you got time for what you make time for.

Speaker 2 29:25

That is true, that is true.

Speaker 1 29:26

I love that, okay. So how are you going to water it daily? So what's one small action or thought you'll use to nourish this new season? Okay, for example, you'll say something like I will, you know, create like a plan the night before, for example, so that's how you're going to water it.

Speaker 2 29:46

Okay, I will spend the first five minutes of my morning to follow a Qigong session.

Speaker 1 29:54

Oh, I love it. So you just roll out of bed and bing, bada, bing.

Speaker 2 29:58

Bada boom.

Speaker 1 29:59

I like it.

Speaker 2 29:59

That way I don't spend the rest of my day going. Oh man, when am I going to fit this in?

Speaker 1 30:03

Yeah, so okay, that's how you're going to water it daily is just by first thing in the morning.

Speaker 2 30:07

Got it Okay.

Speaker 1 30:08

Okay. So then let's do the last step, which is to watch it bloom. All right, so you are manifesting something right now, a new habit, a new ritual that you are looking to bring into your life. You've figured out what you need to let go of. You've also figured out how you're going to sustain it. So water it, okay. So I want you to close your eyes all right and I want you to visualize yourself in full bloom. So close your eyes and I want you to visualize.

Speaker 2 30:37

Close your eyes okay, I'll close my eyes. I want you to visualize yourself doing qigong.

Speaker 1 30:39

Okay, and I want you to visualize yourself doing Qigong.

Speaker 2 30:43

Okay.

Speaker 1 30:45

And I want you to visualize what you look like, what it feels like. Are you there? I'm there. And I want you to feel like all of the senses. So we know what it looks like. We know what it feels like. Breathe into it. What does it smell like, mm-hmm, and what are you feeling inside of your nervous system? We know what it feels like. Breathe into it. What does it smell like and what are you feeling inside of your nervous system? Does it feel like aligned Does?

Speaker 2 31:17

it feel like you can visualize it happening. I currently see myself practicing regularly Because of how easy and effective qigong is. I feel myself really benefiting from the movements and the breath and moving my energy, connecting with my meridians.

Speaker 1 31:35

And what's different? Now that you are doing qigong in the morning, what's shifted in your life? What are you seeing the outcomes of this new ritual?

Speaker 2 31:45

I have more access to the higher thought patterns in my mind and I. It's a certain. It's most certainly a practice in self-assessment and because I'm self-assessing regularly, I have a better understanding of my overall patterns and I can really have a firm grasp on my own steering wheel, like the direction I want to go, when I want to go and how far I want to go.

Speaker 1 32:12

Awesome. So if you played along with us, your final step is just to you know, see yourself and either write it down or share it with someone, and what we'd like you to do is to screenshot this podcast and share what your seed is Like. What are you manifesting right now, and tag us on the empowerment couple on social media, and you can even hashtag empowerment couple and we will be looking out for what seeds you are planting and we will be supporting you. You know, pulling out those weeds, watering it and watching them bloom baby.

Speaker 1 32:51

Boom boom, boom boom. All right, so I hope you love that game. Oh, I love that game.

Speaker 2 32:56

You know it was delicious. I always use the word delicious, but it is such an easy and effective way of connecting with your overall. You know your higher self and knowing exactly where you want to go. It's great. I actually feel like I'm already practicing Qigong.

Speaker 1 33:15

Exactly, and that is the goal, is that if you hold the vibe of that frequency of already having it been done, then you're more a match for it. Of already having it been done, then you're more a match for it, and it's just the more consistent you are with holding that vibration in your nervous system, then you will align to it, my friend.

Speaker 2 33:31

Oh, there we go.

Five Steps to Reinvent Yourself

Speaker 1 33:32

All right. So we're going to give you five steps to reinvent yourself with a reinvention ritual that kind of recaps everything that you just learned from this episode. And number one is we want you to recognize the rut. So ask yourself what's draining me right now? What's draining me?

Speaker 2 33:53

Very simple question. Number two release the old identity, Like who are you when no one's watching, right? So what stories are keeping you small? You got to let those go.

Speaker 1 34:06

Yeah, number three rewire the mind. So start small New inputs. You can listen to books. You can listen to podcasts, like the Paramount Couple podcast. I hear that one's really good.

Speaker 2 34:16

That one's amazing.

Speaker 1 34:19

And you can put in new habits, like we just talked about in our game, and new language. So you need to tell a different story, use different words and create a narrative that is supportive of your outcome, your high self.

Speaker 2 34:34

Exactly your reinvention. Your come up story, your come up, yeah, your Rocky moment. Number four reconnect to joy.

Speaker 1 34:42

Ooh, that's my favorite Follow curiosity over clarity.

Speaker 2 34:44

Joy is the breadcrumb trail to reinvention. Reconnect to joy, right. That's my favorite. Follow curiosity over clarity, right. Joy is the breadcrumb trail to reinvention, right? So follow your joys, like what's turning you on, what makes you happy. That will take you out of the rut. What's turning you on, what's turning you on Right now, what's turning me on, is Qigong.

Speaker 1 35:02

All right, okay, get it chi gong. All right, okay, get it Number five. And the final step is to rebuild through aligned action. So one bold move a day from your future self, and what that means is that you are going to align to that version. So that's why I had you close your eyes and really envision yourself doing the thing and being the thing, and then, as you are the Qigong master of your day, then you are more aligned with that version.

Speaker 2 35:39

Did you take me through a time machine?

Speaker 1 35:41

I did a little time machine boo.

Speaker 2 35:42

So I went to my future self. My future self came back to my current self, plugged some new stuff in.

Speaker 1 35:48

It was like a dream within a dream.

Speaker 2 35:49

The dream within a dream yes, Within a dream. I got seeded by my future self.

Speaker 1 35:55

You did Uh-oh. And here's the thing you don't need a five-year plan. When you align and manifest, you really need a brave five minutes. Make the decision with that brave five minutes and the rest is just alignment.

Speaker 2 36:12

You know, we don't have to be brave all day. We just just five minutes, we'll do it.

Speaker 1 36:16

Yeah.

Speaker 2 36:16

Just five minutes, it's true. Right, we can be Popeye for five minutes. Popeye.

Speaker 1 36:23

There's a good quote from Jay Shetty that you were going to share.

Speaker 2 36:26

Yes, Don't be afraid to start over. This time. You're not starting from scratch. You're starting from experience.

Speaker 1 36:35

Love that experience. Thank you, Jay. So remember, this is your recap. Stuckness is just a signal, not a life sentence.

Speaker 2 36:46

No, reinvention is not a midlife crisis. It is a soul initiation. Your soul is being initiated to its higher version, initiated.

Speaker 1 36:59

Initiated right.

Speaker 2 37:01

Your future self reached deep down into that rut and pulled you out just long enough for you to say hey look, there's something else for you.

Speaker 1 37:13

A little thought, a little action. You're right. In the rain it's just a nudge from the universe to be like hey time to reinvent honey.

Speaker 2 37:18

You know what? There's times in my life right now. I mean not times in my life.

Speaker 1 37:22

There's times in my life right now, no, no no, no, no.

Speaker 2 37:25

I mean not times in my life. There's times in my life right now, no, no, no, no, no. There's times in my life in the past that I would like to go back to and be like you know what? I'm just going to give myself this extra little boost. I'm imagining that my future self has done that with me already.

Speaker 1 37:36

Yes, your future self is living here within a dream, within a dream, within a dream.

Speaker 2 37:42

Tapping on my shoulder, hey Mike. Within a dream, within a dream Tapping on my shoulder, hey Mike, yes, go do Qigong now. Okay, okay, okay.

Speaker 1 37:48

Yeah, well, what I would recommend as your empowerment coach, if I may, is you pick the Qigong that you're going to do for tomorrow morning. You know the sequence tonight. Yes, I already have it and have it pulled up so that you're not fumbling around the first five minutes looking for it in the morning. You've got it locked. If you set up your morning the night before, you're good to go yo.

Speaker 2 38:13

You know what? I will give this to you. You have a brand new, beautiful habit of doing this new routine in the morning while I'm making coffee. And I was thinking as I'm making coffee I need a routine whilst I'm making coffee. I don't want to fall behind here. Right, I'm realizing I'm making coffee and I'm hearing you breathe and grunt and I'm like damn, she's getting a freaking jump start. I'm like no son.

Speaker 1 38:38

And then I come out all happy All happy and I'm like grumpy, I'm like I'm like kind of a happy person, though, in the morning too, and you tend to not be as happy. Careful, I'm careful, I'm careful. I'm really curious to see what happens.

Speaker 2 38:54

I just handed you a compliment After your Qigong.

Speaker 1 38:57

No, I'm saying like I am all happy and thank you for acknowledging my habit.

Speaker 2 39:03

And yes, I'm killing it, I'm killing it, You're killing it and you're like, oh yeah, but you're grumpy in the morning.

Speaker 1 39:07

No, but I'm saying in general. In general, would you agree that you are not a happy morning person? You don't wake up happy.

Speaker 2 39:16

It all depends on how much sleep I got the night before. My mornings depend on my evenings.

Speaker 1 39:24

Exactly, but your evenings are not setting up your mornings.

Speaker 2 39:27

That's correct.

Speaker 1 39:29

So that would be a weed that you need to pull. Why, thank you?

Speaker 2 39:33

You're welcome. Thank you, you're welcome. Is that something?

Speaker 1 39:37

Yes, you're welcome this ritual of plant a seed.

Speaker 2 39:44

Pull a weed.

Speaker 1 39:45

Pull a weed Water, the seed watch it bloom.

Speaker 2 39:50

I love that, right. So this is a planting chart for things that you want. Yes, right, it's so easy. Plant a seed, pull a weed water daily, watch it bloom. Yes, like I feel, as we're speaking, I have a qigong practice rushing towards me. Yeah, so I can only imagine anyone who played along. If they actually wrote things down, they are going to have those things rushing towards them as we speak.

Speaker 1 40:19

And I will say that the other part of this is that you've committed to it, the universe, by announcing it, you know, like on a podcast, hello.

Speaker 1 40:30

But if you tag us on social, that's your commitment to the universe. And so then, once the universe knows what you want, you're basically professing like this is what I want, and the universe conspires to meet you. And so the only way that it gets blocked is if you, you block it, if you block it by your low vibes, your you know nervous system. That isn't a match for the thing. Um, if you, you know like, block it by just having a bad mental, you know thought patterns where you're like, oh, I don't need fucking Qigong, like whatever the thing is right. So when you reject it, like you reject what you wanted because of like usually fear laziness, like you know the whole apathy thing that we're talking about. So really, that's a major component is that if you tell people, then you kind of are holding yourself accountable because you don't want to tell people you're going to do something and then not do it.

Speaker 2 41:25

If you have in your possession an idea, a thought, something that's so huge that you're holding on to because of something else, let that go. Like what you have in your hand is a gift, use it, play it, present it. That's what it's for. You're not supposed to hold on to them. You're supposed to share your gifts.

Speaker 1 41:47

Word Totally agree, we are in alignment.

Speaker 2 41:52

We tend to be.

Speaker 1 41:57

Well, we are sending you the highest vibrations.

Speaker 2 42:00

You are held.

Speaker 1 42:01

You are loved.

Speaker 2 42:08

Pulling the weed.

Speaker 1 42:09

I told you. I asked if I could be your empowerment coach for a minute. I asked permission. I said if I may. You said, mm-hmm, Roll the tape.

Speaker 2 42:21

And the redhead continues. That's why you don't get in a rut with the redhead.

Speaker 1 42:26

No, you don't. No, no, redheads are just.

Speaker 2 42:28

You just get roughed up. What would you like, sir? A rut or getting roughed up? I'll go for the rough up.

Speaker 1 42:37

Roughed up by a redhead. Yeah, here you go, you're a redhead. You're welcome, sir. You are welcome.