WEBVTT 00:00:00.000 --> 00:00:14.820 I'm coming to you from North Central Ohio, we share with you the voice of the Nazarene. A WEEK BY WEEK venture into the Word of God sponsored by the Bucyrus, Ohio Church of the Nazarene, we join our Pastor Reverend Ray LaSalle, and the voice of the Nazarene. 00:00:14.000 --> 00:01:07.879 I want you to turn your attention to Proverbs 22 verse six. We talked sometimes about how to have a home that’s like heaven and try to raise a child that's from hell. Catch this little verse train of a child of the way he should go. You catch that he should go not stay. You have them for a little while you influence them while you have them. But they're not to remain forever. I mean, they need to move on and find their own life. 00:01:01.670 --> 00:02:09.919 And when he is old, he will not depart from it. I've come to the conclusion that parenting is tough. When I traveled as a single evangelists for a number of years, I was amazed sometimes at how some kids treated their parents. And I thought if my dad had you for just about a minute or two behind the wall, well he'd change your attitude, he'd hit you in the equator, and straighten you out. He wouldn't destroy you, but you wished you to die by the time he got through. Well, I'm glad in those years, I didn't try to take any authority and preach on 10 ways to raise your children. Because you know, I got married, and we had two kids of our own. And I’d had to change the sermon title two, three suggestions in raising kids, they may or may not work. One mother had three kids and somebody asked her would you have three kids again? 00:02:10.939 --> 00:03:03.110 She said, Yes, I'd have three kids, but not the same three kids. Somebody said insanity is hereditary. We catch it from our children. Well, this is true children start growing up when they quit asking where they came from, and refuse to tell you where they're going. And listen to this. The advice that we rejected from our parents, is what we're now giving to our children. Innit the truth. Ever so often, Roger will call and he said, Dad, I'm having to do the same thing you used to do, and they don't like it any better than I did. And so good to hear. 00:03:04.340 --> 00:03:38.509 I really believe in what the Bible says in Psalm 127, verse three, Children are a gift from God. Sometimes you'd like to exchange the gift, but you can't. Children are a gift from the Lord. And you know that every season of a child's life, I know that change, but they're all a blessing from the times, they're just a little baby. And you hear them coo and you kiss their cheeks, and you hold them. 00:03:34.370 --> 00:04:54.980 And that time when they are just a little bit bigger, and they're learning to crawl and you watch and then you begin to help them walk and you've got that little kid holding on to your fingers for all that he's worth. He can only get his hand around one finger. And then the time they're teenagers and the time that you walk them down the aisle or they're standing up front looking at a beautiful girl coming up the aisle toward them, the time when they're holding their own children. All those times are so precious. I heard about two fathers who had teenagers and they were discussing how expensive it is to raise kids. And one said, Well, it's not that bad. He said, I think it's worthwhile just to have somebody around the house that can figure out the computer and get my iPhone turned back on. Well, if there's a verse in the Bible that's misunderstood. It's proverbs 22 Verse six, because you've got to understand this. Proverbs 22 Verse six, it's what it says it is a proverb. It says train up a child in the way he should go. 00:04:49.879 --> 00:05:00.709 What is a proverb? A proverb is a general truth, if applied in a general way, will give you general results. 00:05:02.660 --> 00:05:15.589 A proverb is not a promise. A promise is absolute. And if God promises you that an elephant will lay an egg, you better get a big skillet. 00:05:18.209 --> 00:05:22.620 There's a major difference between a promise and a proverb. 00:05:24.209 --> 00:05:43.680 You got to understand this is a proverb, but if generally applied, it will give you general results. What I'm trying to say to you, if you're a parent, and you've tried to raise your children in the nurture and the admonition of the Lord, You've done your best. 00:05:39.990 --> 00:05:48.360 And then that didn't turn out quite the way that you'd hoped. 00:05:43.680 --> 00:05:53.490 And your hearts crushed. You say, Well, Pastor, they were insufficient parents. Maybe not. 00:05:54.870 --> 00:06:15.930 I mean, think about it, God had Adam and Eve, and they didn't turn out very good. God was the father of Adam and Eve, and they both sinned. Here's what you got to understand, no matter what kind of parents you are your kids still have a free will. 00:06:17.189 --> 00:06:35.910 They get to choose. So don't be beat yourself up. By the way, Adam and Eve, they raised Cain and Abel, both in the same home and one had a heart for God, and the other was cold toward God. 00:06:38.279 --> 00:07:17.699 Two children raised to the same home by the same parents, and one turned out well and the other became a murderer. But I believe there are some things that the Bible teaches that we ought to give our children and we ought to do our best. And we need to leave the results to God. James Dobson said that we're so busy giving our children what we didn't have that we fail sometimes to give them what we did have. So let me give you some things from the Word of God that we ought to give our kids first love them. 00:07:12.060 --> 00:08:46.529 When I say love them, I mean love them with an unconditional love. There's that story of the prodigal son. The story is really not about the son. It's about a parent. It's about a father. It's the fact that a father loved his son with an unconditional love. And I want you to know something. When children know that you love them with unconditional love. It'll create an intimacy between you and them, it'll bond you to that boy or that girl. When a child knows that no matter what, my mom and dad loves me with an unconditional love. And even if I fail, and even if I blow it, I can still go home. And they'll forgive me. And they'll love me and they'll give me another chance. It’ll create security that nothing else will create. A child will be able to deal with peer pressures and the child will be able to deal with temptations. A child will be able to deal with the highs and the lows of life. If they know there's a home they can go to where mom and dad love them with an unconditional love. Let me tell you something. If you were raised in a home and you received unconditional love, you have a giant leg up on the rest of the people here in America. 00:08:41.129 --> 00:08:50.220 Greatest thing you can give your child is to let them know that you love them unconditionally. 00:08:50.220 --> 00:09:05.610 Billy Graham's funeral. I don't know if you watched it or not all of his children spoke. Did you watch that? All of them spoke. One daughter that spoke. 00:08:59.460 --> 00:09:05.610 She was named after her mother. 00:09:05.610 --> 00:09:55.950 Her name was Ruth but they called her bunny. Bunny said after 21 years of marriage I went through a divorce. And could I just stop for a moment and say God hates divorce. But he loves the divorcee. And if you can't save the marriage, hey church, we need to save the people. Put up your harsh spears and daggers. You got to love people. Divorce is not the unpardonable sin. And if you go through a divorce, God still loves you. God still can use you somewhere. God still has a plan. 00:09:56.250 --> 00:10:43.019 God still has a purpose. And I don't think having gone through a divorce that when you get to church, you ought to become a second class citizen and be treated differently. I don't think you ought to have to sit in the back seat. What are you talking about Pastor, I grew up in a home, where there was divorce. And where my parents had to sit at the back and they were allowed to tithe and some places could not join the church. You can be forgiven for some sins in those days, but not when you've blown it. And I've never seen an egg broke yet that you could put it all back together and make it what it once was. I'm not trying to throw a liberal slant out here. 00:10:43.019 --> 00:10:52.110 I'm just saying God's in the business to forgive us and to rescue us. God has a plan for your life. Fact of the matter. 00:10:52.139 --> 00:11:00.240 I believe God can take the bad and turn it around into the good. I think God can take the mess and turn it into a message. 00:11:00.870 --> 00:11:13.980 I think God can take a test and turn it into a testimony. Just be sure when it's all done, you still have a testimony. And it's not all moaning and groaning. 00:11:08.190 --> 00:11:37.080 Well, moving along. Ruth went through a divorce. And right after that she got involved with a guy and her parents told her don't be in a rush, you maybe ought to go this way. But she said I kept going. I ignored that. And I ignored mom and I married the guy and within 24 hours, I feared for my very life. And said it hit the news. 00:11:38.279 --> 00:11:47.490 It was all across the country, Billy Graham's own daughter. And she said, I called home and said, Mom, can I come home? 00:11:48.509 --> 00:12:29.129 Please mom, let me come home and said I got in the car with the only things I had left a few clothes and I started driving to North Carolina and drove up that mountain there in North Carolina, got to the top of the mountain and wondered, will I even be welcome. I've embarrassed daddy, it's in the newspapers, it's all across the news. As soon as I pulled in the drive and opened the car door and shut the engine off, dad stepped out of the house and there was arms wide open and said buddy, I love you. Welcome home. I love you welcome home. 00:12:29.159 --> 00:13:17.850 Wouldn't it be a great day in the church? If we could throw our arms wide open and say to people that need to hear it. I love you. Welcome back to church. Welcome home. Instead of trying to put folk down or trying to avoid them in the aisles because of something that's happened. To say welcome it’s God’s house. God loves all of His children. Wouldn't it be a good day, if we just love one another unconditionally. No matter what they've done or where they've been. Doesn't matter. We still love you. So once a parent to do, where to love them. Good preaching, you deserve the best. And second, I gotta pat myself nobody else is. 00:13:13.769 --> 00:13:32.159 We not only love them, but we're there to lift them. It was a good day in my life when I learned that people respond better to praises and raises than they do shaming them. 00:13:26.159 --> 00:13:34.679 People respond when we lift them up. And when we praise them a little when we encourage them. 00:13:34.679 --> 00:14:11.610 Where you get this from? I get it when Jesus was baptized. It said and lo a voice from heaven, saying This is My beloved Son in whom I'm well pleased. Jesus in the human needed to be baptized like everyone else. Jesus in the human you may not like this, but I'm telling you any way, he needed to be filled with the spirit the Holy Spirit like a dove descended upon Him. Just like you need to be. Can I tell you something about your children? They long for a mom and a dad to praise them. 00:14:12.629 --> 00:14:33.059 And I just like to stop and fiddle around a little bit. Why can't we praise character more than we praise achievement? You know, not every little girl is gonna win the beauty pageant. 00:14:35.159 --> 00:14:39.629 Not ever little boy is going to gonna make the all star team. 00:14:41.279 --> 00:15:01.110 But every little boy and every little girl can be a good girl and good boy. They can be obedient. They can work hard they can learn manners. Why don't we praise character more than achievements? Well we’re to live them, we’re to lift them. 00:15:01.110 --> 00:16:50.429 And then thirdly, limit them first Samuel 3:13. Throw it up on the screen if you would. This is about old Eli for I've told him that I will judge his house forever for the iniquity which he knows because his sons made themselves vile and he restrained him not God rebuked Eli, because he didn't discipline his children. Now I've heard of the sin of omission when you've didn't do what you should do. And I've heard about the sin of comission, doing what you knew better than to do. But this is the sin of permission. And they he permitted things. It's amazing to me that we live in a culture where we tie our dogs up at night, and we don’t know where our kids are. It's amazing to me that we can trace our lineage all the way back 300 years and we don't know where our kids were last night. You know why? Because the devil has sold us a lie and told us that if we discipline our kids, they'll not love us. But if you discipline them from your heart and discipline them properly, they'll love you even more. 90% of graduating seniors were asked. And they said, We wish that our teachers and our parents had loved us enough to have disciplined us and have warned us, and they didn't. You see discipline will do three things. It'll show a child you love them, according to Hebrews 12:6, it teaches a child respect 00:16:50.429 --> 00:17:12.329 9, it teaches a child how to do right 11. But we're not only to limit them or give them guidelines. But we're to lead them and the Hebrew word for teacher and parent is the very same word in the original. 00:17:12.930 --> 00:19:57.295 So you say, Well, Pastor, how can I lead my children? Well, the best way you can lead them is by example. And we can't teach what we don't know. And we can’t lead where we don't go. We need to lead by example, if you want to have an impact set a right example. If you want your kids to go to church, a great idea might be for you to go to church to. If you want your kids to know how to read the last time they walked in mom and caught you reading the scripture. Dad you want your kids to know how to pray? When was the last time they caught you on your knees talking to God interceding with God? We teach what we know but we reproduce what we are. So lead by example, here's another thing we need to laugh with them. Laugh with them. The average four year old, the Bible, when's Did you know will laugh 400 times a day? And the average adult laughs about 15 times a day. I guess you go through life and you lose your laughter. I think a lot of churches would grow by 10% of that just learn how to smile. You'll say well I don't have very many teeth left well gum us to death then. Learn to smile. Tell me how to pastor, well be firm, be fair, be faithful, but please be fun. Be fun. Do you want to know how you can tell whether or not you're a real success as a parent? If when your kids grew up and they don't have to be around you anymore but they want to be around you. Do I need to repeat that duplicate? What else pastor? Loaf with them not only laugh with them but loaf with them, and it's spelt t i m e time. Presence that we give is not nearly as important as your presence. Spend time with your children. I've learned as a dad that days are long but boy are the years short. Seem like you'd never get them raised and suddenly they're gone and no more opportunities to influence them. You've got to bite your lip and you can't give any more advice they're married now. You don't want to cut off your relationship better keep still. 00:19:57.378 --> 00:20:53.454 And you'll watch them raising kids and you sometimes see mistakes. Boy the years are short. Spend some time with them. And I'd like to add seventhly lay your hands on them. Did you know that if you were a Hebrew parent, there were some things that you would always do with your kids? And incidentally, the Hebrew people, did you know they make up 1% of the population of the world? Did you know that? But they make up 13% of the Nobel Peace Prize winners. Did you know that most of the inventions that we are using right now come from out of Israel? Brilliant. But if you were a Hebrew parent, there was It's not Old man, it’s dad or its mom. It's Yes, sir. It's something that you would do with your children all the time. 00:20:53.538 --> 00:21:04.265 You'd lay your hands on them and you would pray a Hebrew blessing and let me give it to you. It's number six, verse 24, and 26. 00:21:04.348 --> 00:21:51.387 Lord bless thee and keep thee, Lord make thy face shine upon thee be gracious unto thee. The Lord lift up His countenance upon the give the peace. Pastor, do you think that's important? I do. Because in Hebrews 11, the great hall of fame chapter, you have Moses who parted the Red Sea, you have Abraham, the father of the nations, you have Noah, who built an ark, 450 feet long and 75 feet wide and 45 feet high, he built a boat to save his family. But there were two men in that chapter that the only thing they did was to pray blessings on their children. 00:21:51.472 --> 00:22:22.467 Verse 20 by faith, Isaac blessed Jacob, and he say concerning things to come. By faith, Jacob, when he was dying blessed both of his sons, the sons of Joseph his grand children, worship with them. Now, I've talked to you for a few minutes about what parents ought to do. Can I talk to the younger people about what you need to do to help your parents to be effective? 00:22:22.550 --> 00:22:32.938 Parents? Yes, Pastor, you can, thank you. Just three simple things that you can do. Number one, just address them properly. 00:22:33.022 --> 00:22:58.950 Address your parents properly. I heard about a girl who said to her dad Old man, can I have some Mon to hit the flick? What she meant was money to go to a movie. Old man, old man, can I have some mon to hit flick? And the dad said, No, you can't. But you can swish the dish, spread the bed and flop the mop. 00:23:13.759 --> 00:23:21.890 Yes, ma'am. It's Thank you, mom, or Thank you, dad. It's may I. 00:23:23.119 --> 00:23:28.250 You teach your children are address you properly. If you go to court, and some of you will. 00:23:31.099 --> 00:23:33.619 And you go in and you stand before the judge in the court. 00:23:33.680 --> 00:23:56.839 It's your honor, because of his position. We honor our parents because of their position. You may not agree with their performance, but you need to honor their position. I hope that teenagers know I love them. 00:23:50.450 --> 00:24:01.220 But can I say teenagers don't know it all. You can always tell a teenager just not very much. 00:24:02.509 --> 00:24:08.119 How do you know Pastor? I used to be one. But I are no more. 00:24:10.250 --> 00:24:40.579 And you need to know that sometimes you don't enjoy and we know you don't enjoy being around parents. But for your information, sometimes they don't enjoy being around you either. By the way, there was one teen. Oh, just let me stop here for a moment. Did you know that you're not fully developed in the brain? Your frontal lobe of the brain does not fully developed until your 25. That's why you're lame in the brain. 00:24:41.509 --> 00:24:45.440 That's why we make allowances. 00:24:41.509 --> 00:24:55.220 We know one day you'll grow up and you have to go through what we're going through. You will have to put up with some teenagers. But there was a teenager that was a perfect teenager. His name was Jesus. 00:24:55.220 --> 00:25:05.150 Here's what the Bible said about him. And he went down with his parents and came to Nazareth was subject unto them. Think of it. 00:25:06.259 --> 00:25:11.150 He was subject unto his parents. 00:25:06.259 --> 00:25:19.369 I'm talking about the one that spoke this world into existence. 00:25:12.710 --> 00:25:22.730 I'm talking about the one who didn't begin when beginning began, but he began beginning. 00:25:24.529 --> 00:25:54.559 I'm talking about the one who was before there was who was the perfect Son of God. And he approached his mother and said, Mother, may I? Even though he knew more than them, he was subject unto them. And if you want your parents to be effective parents, address them properly. And when they ask you to do something, don't look at them with a dazed look. That's why we think you're on drugs. 00:25:46.640 --> 00:26:21.259 Look up, put down your phone and listen. Nobody's saying good preaching now. Address them properly. But secondly, accept them. Mom was 35 when I was born. Mom had just gotten over a nervous breakdown. Her baby boy Roy died at six months of age. 00:26:15.589 --> 00:26:46.190 Everything in her life was coming apart. She'd never parted a church door, didn't know anything about God, had grown up in an alcoholic home. And they'd had to run and hide in the fields from grandpa when he got drunk. He got mean when he was drunk. Her life got tied up at 16 years of age. And I'm not going into all of her story. 00:26:46.190 --> 00:27:30.079 It's none of your business. And I don't think it's my business to tell it all. But it was tough. And I knew that my mother was not Mary of Bethany. Mary of Bethany, for your information only mentioned three times in Scripture when she was mentioned she was at the feet of Jesus. So she did pretty good. And I knew that my mother wasn’t a Mary of Bethany but she was all I got and I feel for her. The doctor told her after she'd had a nervous breakdown you need to have one more kid that will pull you out of the nervous breakdown and she had me she's still trying to get over it. 00:27:35.630 --> 00:27:53.210 But I accepted my mother and I love my mother. And even with some of the nervous problems that she had, she was the best cook that any boy ever sit down to the table. She could bake the best pies and brown of just right. 00:27:54.410 --> 00:28:08.299 She could make the greatest cakes. Moist. She kept the house the cleanest of any woman about that I've ever known. 00:28:08.000 --> 00:28:42.470 While, we didn't have much money. My brother and I we never left the house but we always look good, mama wore older clothes, Dad did too. And we boys always got newer things except, your parents. Here's what Proverbs 23:22 says, hearken unto thy father that begat thee, despise not thy mother when she's old. Mark Twain said when I was 14, I thought my dad was an idiot. 00:28:37.220 --> 00:28:46.759 Said by the time I was 21, I was amazed how smart he had become. 00:28:42.470 --> 00:28:53.930 It’s amazing how much he had learned in seven short years. 00:28:46.759 --> 00:29:56.480 Thirdly, appreciate your parents. May I just suggest that little later today you get mom and dad to one side and tell them how much you appreciate them. And thank them for all they've given to you. Thank them for their sacrifices. If you're up in years, and you still have parents, it wouldn't hurt to give a phone call to them. Let them know how much you appreciated them. The little boy wrote a note and said Mom, you owe me $1 for taking out the garbage. Mom, I straightened my room I expect $3 for that. Mom, I got good grades and I ought to get about five bucks. Totaled it all up and said Mom you owe me$10. She's turned her note over on the backside she wrote you owe me $10,000 for wiping your bottom for several years. 00:29:58.430 --> 00:30:11.690 You owe me a couple $1,000 for wiping your nose till you're big enough to blow it yourself. You owe me $20,000 for all the meals that I fixed for you. 00:30:11.000 --> 00:31:12.049 And you owe me for cleaning the house for you when you messed it up. She came up with over$100,000 then said, paid in full Love, Mom. Thank God for parents. Thank God for good parents. Thank God for parents that are trying to do their best. And always remember, you have a free will. And we can choose what we're going to do with our life. Maybe mom and dad had a tough and maybe they did make some wise choices, but we can learn from their mistakes too. We don't have to make the same mistakes. I can choose to be better. And maybe the next generation can be better than us. Thank God for the past generations. 00:31:12.869 --> 00:31:24.119 Thanks for being a part of the voice of the Nazarene. Visit us every Sunday at 9am with BNC's Pastor Ray LaSalle. For more information regarding BNC visit Bucyrus nazarene.org.