Tammy's episode Pt 1
Adopt a child whose parent was lost to domestic violence for Christmas 2023
Wednesday With Watson Private Facebook Group
Amy's Written Piece on Brandi's story
Some moments in life test the very fabric of our faith, where hope seems like a distant flicker in overwhelming darkness. This is the crucible Tammy bravely steps into as she recounts the life and tragic loss of her daughter Brandy, revealing the profound strength and resilience that can emerge from the deepest sorrow. Our conversation encompasses not only the painful reality of domestic violence but also the transformative power of hope and the relentless pursuit of a life that honors God.
Tammy's story is a visceral reminder of how life can change in the blink of an eye, with Thanksgiving festivities giving way to an unspeakable tragedy. As we venture through her family's journey—an amalgamation of love, challenges, and healing—we witness the sustaining power of community and the steadfast presence of faith even when the path forward seems insurmountable. Her intimate reflections on finding solace in the church after Brandy's passing, and the subsequent battle with addiction, underscore the necessity of a support system in the midst of grief.
Ending on a note of upliftment, the episode pivots to the inspiring work being done through the Legacy Family Retreat, a haven for those touched by the shadow of domestic violence. We delve into the ways in which Tammy's life, post-tragedy, has been realigned to reflect the teachings and love of Jesus. Her dedication and the unshakeable hope found in divine intervention serve as a beacon to anyone navigating the turbulent waters of loss and recovery, reminding us all of the redemptive power of unwavering faith.
You ARE:
SEEN KNOWN HEARD LOVED VALUED
Tammy's episode Pt 1
Adopt a child whose parent was lost to domestic violence for Christmas 2023
Wednesday With Watson Private Facebook Group
Amy's Written Piece on Brandi's story
Some moments in life test the very fabric of our faith, where hope seems like a distant flicker in overwhelming darkness. This is the crucible Tammy bravely steps into as she recounts the life and tragic loss of her daughter Brandy, revealing the profound strength and resilience that can emerge from the deepest sorrow. Our conversation encompasses not only the painful reality of domestic violence but also the transformative power of hope and the relentless pursuit of a life that honors God.
Tammy's story is a visceral reminder of how life can change in the blink of an eye, with Thanksgiving festivities giving way to an unspeakable tragedy. As we venture through her family's journey—an amalgamation of love, challenges, and healing—we witness the sustaining power of community and the steadfast presence of faith even when the path forward seems insurmountable. Her intimate reflections on finding solace in the church after Brandy's passing, and the subsequent battle with addiction, underscore the necessity of a support system in the midst of grief.
Ending on a note of upliftment, the episode pivots to the inspiring work being done through the Legacy Family Retreat, a haven for those touched by the shadow of domestic violence. We delve into the ways in which Tammy's life, post-tragedy, has been realigned to reflect the teachings and love of Jesus. Her dedication and the unshakeable hope found in divine intervention serve as a beacon to anyone navigating the turbulent waters of loss and recovery, reminding us all of the redemptive power of unwavering faith.
You ARE:
SEEN KNOWN HEARD LOVED VALUED
And I kept thinking in my head I don't know how to do this. How many are supposed to call my mom and dad and tell them hey, guess what? Brandy's dead.
Speaker 3:Okay, guys, I am back sitting here with my friend, tammy. If you have not listened to her first episode, go back and do that. Tammy is here to help us. In our by faith series, we have highlighted Hebrews, chapter 11. What does faith mean? The Wednesdays with Watson podcast is taking a deep dive. Why do some people who have experienced trauma and loss keep the faith? Why does some walk away? How does some get faith anyway? And you can hear Tammy's story about how she got introduced to the start of the story in the episode that is aired right before this one. We are highlighting the hope that comes with the completed work of Jesus on the cross. So welcome back to the Wednesdays with Watson podcast, tammy. Thank you very much.
Speaker 3:Well, tammy, I am so excited to have you back. As we highlighted on the episode before this, you are the legacy family director for break the silence against domestic violence and at the airing of this episode is going to be mid December, and so I don't know if there will still be any angel families left to adopt. But if you are hearing this, you can go to the first link in the show notes and click and find a way to support families from break the silence of domestic violence. I'm here to talk to Tammy today about something that's making even my heart race, and I know that it will be a difficult conversation for her. I will tell you guys, just as a little bit of a content warning, that what you will hear today is disturbing and sad, but yet Jesus.
Speaker 3:And so, tammy, you're the legacy family director and I didn't realize this. I, you know I posted something on Facebook and said, hey, the Wednesdays with Watson podcast needs a family to help. And you piped in and went, oh, what about an angel family? And I didn't realize that I had written your angel baby brandy story, which I will link in the show notes. But you are the legacy family director not only because you're a survivor of domestic violence, as you outlined in the episode before this one, but because you lost a child. Can you tell us about brandy?
Speaker 1:Oh gosh, she was the party outside of the party. She was my child, the her. She was never in the kitchen growing up. She was in the, you know as a teenager, in her room putting on makeup, looking in the mirror. Brandy, she was beautiful inside and out. She didn't have a mean bone in her body. My son was always in the kitchen with me, wanting to know what's for dinner, so therefore he turned out to be the better cook instead of his big sister.
Speaker 1:But eight years after I got out of my domestic violence relationship, brandy had been dating. She'd been dating her boyfriend off and on for about a year and I would think and I look back now and I'm like, wow, how did I not see this? But there were times where brandy didn't come around and it was to see my head. I'm married now. She was somebody I'd been friends with for 18 years and we were married for five years. When Thanksgiving night 2010, brandy's boyfriend she just moved in with her boyfriend. They dated off and on for a year. He put it after a night of drinking coming home from a bar, he put it under her head and pulled the trigger. She was laughter, she was joy. If you look on my Facebook page you can see 50 million pictures, and what honestly so touches me about my daughter and gives me peace is that I'm looking at her photos. She may have only lived for 22 years, but I don't know if you've ever heard the song the Dash.
Speaker 3:Yeah, the poem is great.
Speaker 1:And she truly lived her dash, because in every photo she was laughing and she lived life 100 miles an hour. She lived on the edge. She was so full of life and love and beauty, just beauty. She was a pageant, a beauty pageant winner, but then she could wear high heels one day in a pageant and then, literally the very next day, she'd be swimming in a pond with really big catfish, covered in mud, in a tank top and cut off shorts. She was country girl through and through. I think her greatest hobby was riding back roads and singing country music at the top of her lungs and just being silly with her friends. She was color, she was color. She was that easy kid. She never had to study, she never got in trouble, and so I know that she did things wrong. My daughter was not perfect, she couldn't have been so she you know, but she just never got caught. My son had a knack for getting caught, randy did not. I'm sure that she used her loads a few times to spare her some guns.
Speaker 3:So I can't. Well, I, just having lost a step son to to an overdose, I understand on a minor level what that phone call must have been like for you. So this beautiful, vibrant young lady, and I remember when you sent me the picture years ago for me to write her angel story.
Speaker 1:I said you're good job.
Speaker 3:I mean my heart is racing because this is just hard. But this is why I'm doing this on the podcast, especially this by faith series. And so, by faith, tammy, what? Let's talk about this part of your story, because in the episode before you you taught you, beautifully laid out, why you're able to keep the faith, given your own domestic violence story. So now you're remarried, life is better. I'm assuming you are in church. Brandy is Brandy. They're like you said, kids aren't perfect. I wrote four or five of those stories where the parents are like, yeah, she was my wild child, you know, and so but I, because this series is trying to help people understand why some people keep the faith when such horrible things happen and why some people walk away from the faith when such horrible things happen. And so, if it's not too much for you and tell me if it is, but let's go back to that phone call.
Speaker 1:It actually was not a phone call. At that point my husband and I also had had Steve, his two daughters, from his first marriage. So I'm raising his two, which Ashley was around 12 and she has Down syndrome. She still lives with us and you know his daughter was like six. So we were a blended family.
Speaker 1:I was the mom that was in the church doors every time they were open. If the church was open to me, well, it was in there doing whatever ministry and it started out. We would clean toilets. I didn't care what needs to be done. Let me help. I found that I really do have a servant Tart, so I love to serve.
Speaker 1:Well, thanksgiving we had gone 2010. We were at my husband's sister's house. My son was at my parents house 25 miles away and Brandy went to her biological dad's, her grandmother, her paternal grandmother, for Thanksgiving. Ashley and I because Ashley was tired that evening and I had we had taken my husband and I had taken two separate vehicles to that family gathering. Ashley was tired and cranky, so I took her out. Me and Ashley went. I had to work today. You guys just come home later. Me and Ashley are going to do you mind if we go? No, no problem.
Speaker 1:So we me and Ashley got home, took our baths we're getting. We're in bed, I'm sound asleep. I hear a knock on the front door and I hear Steven living in the TV's on and I was like, hey, you can get that that knock on the door. I didn't. The next thing, I know it was a friend of ours, from charge Steve, came into my bedroom and turned the light on and my first thing was you're not looking for love and I just ate a half a turkey. Why are these lights? What the heck it ended up being. He immediately just looked at me and said oh my God, I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1:And because my son was 18 and really living on the edge of life, you know, experimenting with drugs, living here and there and couchsurfing with his friends, my husband curled up in our bed and started rocking back and forth in the fetal position and he said I can't say this, I just can't say this, I can't tell you this. And he just kept saying that over and over and he was just in a ball and I'm sitting there thinking so, finally grabbing by his tank top and say what? Just say it, tell me. And I honestly thought something bad had happened to my son. You know he was that one and he said brain, he's been shot. And I was like okay, and I start putting on my pants, getting out of my pajamas, and I said take me to her. He said shoot. And I got remembered, getting so mad right then and I was like who the hell told you this, steve? Who would say this? And he said Emily. And Emily was one of my friends from church. I said where is she? He said well, she might still be in the driveway. So I go running outside and I have the Emily come back in and tell me what is going on and the whole time I'm thinking this isn't right. Brandy's not dead.
Speaker 1:Because I had just seen Brandy three days before Thanksgiving. I'd asked her boyfriend what she needed for Christmas and because her very best friend had just gotten married and that's when Brandy moved in with Robert, so they'd only been living in the same home for like three weeks. Emily said that you know, and I bought her hair care products because she had left it all with Audrey. She let Audrey have it all, so she needed new hair care stuff. I didn't have a Christmas tree put up yet. I didn't have anybody else's presents bought Just Brandy and I was like so adamant about she needs to open this. She needs to open her Christmas because I don't want her looking raggedy on Thanksgiving. That was my whole thing. So three days prior I saw them the last time I saw my daughter alive. Everything looked and appeared to be normal and give anything about a no, and you think I would have been a survivor Right. That's why I call myself that two time survivor of domestic violence. Emily had already called my mentor from church. My pastor and his wife were there immediately.
Speaker 1:Brandy and Robert were at a bar about 10, 13 miles away from our town and in the next town and they'd been arguing at the bar. And we know she wanted to move back to her dad because she had totaled her car. Robert worked in San Antonio, I believe, and was gone for a week at a time. He worked for a place that did clinical trial studies and she was completely dependent on him for everything, completely isolated, for those three weeks. She wanted to move back to her dad's because her dad's was right down the road from where she worked, from the restaurant where she worked at. So we honestly believe that she was telling him I'm going to go back to my dad's. This is just not working. They had been arguing at the bar. Brandy would go outside crying, robert would go get her. His two nephews were drinking at the bar with them. Witnesses say that Brandy was not drinking at her grandmother's house, but Robert was. They did what most Texans do go to the bar and watch football and Thanksgiving which not me anymore. So they left. They were arguing and his nephews offered Brandy right home and Robert said if you give her right home, I'm never effing going to speak to you again. The bartender offered my daughter right home. Brandy said now I'm.
Speaker 1:As they were leaving the bar parking lot that night, he pulled out a pistol, put a trend, pull the trigger. They need to have right past the hospital and I would say probably a 17 mile drive back, 18 miles to his house. He proceeded to call his friend. Who was that? What we call pasture parties, and when you're in the country, you still the bottom fire in somebody's field and those you know sat around. Those kids sit around, drink beer. But they were all just, you know, hanging out.
Speaker 1:Well, he called his best friend and said I have to, I have to bring His friend. Come over here, come here to the house. His friend. We declined going to his home and he said, well, I'm going to go be with brandy. And he, robert, laid on top of my daughter. He carried her body in the house, laid on top of her and took his own life, but not before setting the house on fire. So you don't burn both of their bodies. Emily had explained this my pastor and his wife, my mentor and her head. I can just remember that night I was so numb and I was like why are you not crying, team, are you not? My daughter had such perfect teeth. There were. It was Thanksgiving. There were no. None of these dentist offices were going to be open until Monday. Brandy had perfect adult teeth.
Speaker 3:She never went to the dentist Also. Dental records.
Speaker 1:I can remember sitting there and I was actually putting my head in my husband's lap and I'm like worrying about crunch. I was going to church and I kept thinking in my head I don't know how to do this. How many are supposed to call my mom and dad and tell them hey, guess what? Brandy's dead. Um, at that time I was still going to church and I continued to go to church the night. My wife and I were going to church and I had to live with survivor because eight years prior to my own domestic violence relationship, now I had to become that two time survivor. I had to survive Brandy's death. She was a victim of her abuse and she didn't make it out. So I mean, if I could go back, I'd treat places with her in a house and I can't remember after her service.
Speaker 1:And if I look back on my social media, you know it took me at least a year to call it what it was. It wasn't an accident, it wasn't just a typical homicide, it was domestic violence and I it. I didn't want to say those words because I had been abused. And how could I do that? I didn't want to say that. So the first year, I guess I think that I really wanted it to be some kind of Romeo and Juliet situation. Now it was murder, suicide.
Speaker 1:State of Texas declared it domestic violence and I can remember they called my whole family up to the front of the church that Sunday, that first Sunday following Thanksgiving, and I was like I'm going to be married to my daughters and my son and my husband and I was like, and they prayed for us and I'm thinking to myself, yeah, I need all the prayer I can get because, but you know, I, I, in my prayer time, I would be talking to God and I was like, why, why, why my daughter, why my family? If you know the beginning from the end, why didn't you stop? I was like I'm going to be married Because all I did was yell at God and the God that I had proclaimed to love and trust for eight years of my life. I was mad. I was so mad.
Speaker 1:I continued to go to church and I did step down from all ministries at that. I wouldn't go to church every Sunday. I didn't go to Thursday night prayer. I cried, I, I showed up, but I was not talking to God because I was mad, because I was mad at God, I would continue to go to the altar and I would pray. And when my prayed, yeah, I was stuck to him, but I'm sure I was.
Speaker 3:I was so angry at God.
Speaker 1:No, no, no. I felt so alone and I was so angry at God. And it was easier for me to be angry at him because I lied to myself. The first five years after Brady's death, I told myself I couldn't hate Robert, I couldn't be mad at him, because you can't hate somebody that doesn't exist. So I was mad at God, I was mad at him. How are you today Fine, while in the inside I'm screaming this is not fine, I'm not fine, there's nothing fine about this. This isn't fair, it's no. God, why didn't you stop this? This went my my faith, everything about me was challenged, all the way down to the bottom, yeah, and it took me some time. And I kept going to church doing what I was supposed to be doing. I wasn't reading my word, I wasn't talking to him, not like no, I was not. And I remember one Sunday there was a song that our praise and worship team was in the middle of the song was yes, jeremy camp, I still believe.
Speaker 1:Oh, I can't remember getting down on my knees and I had done that many times after Brandy's death but it wasn't. You know. Yes, I was crying, but I was crying in the physical sense. I was not crying out to Christ, I wasn't mad at him, I was just crying out a purple side, that piece of wood that says the words believe, I got on my knees that Sunday and I was, I just everything, I let it all out, one of those good, snot slinging cries, sorry, great cry, because I didn't. I believe I do. I believe that emotionally and spiritually. For me then, the day of salvation, because then I knew that I was no longer angry at the God that I love and trust. And I can remember my daughter's memorial service. We lived in a town of less than 5,000 people. The funeral home had to have speakers put outside of the parking lot because there was over 400 people at her service. Brandy was so loved.
Speaker 3:Like 10% of the population, came to her funeral.
Speaker 1:That's amazing. Yes, and that pastor? He wasn't my preacher. Her dad's family was Catholic. Brandy didn't go to church. She'd been to church a few times with her mama, but I did not raise my children in the church. It wasn't until an adulthood that I became a, that I was saved, so she didn't really go to church. She went a few times with mom, In the last, you know that eight years span she attended church, you know, and we talked about God but she wasn't, you know, sold out or anything.
Speaker 3:It's so interesting that you said that song, I still believe, by Jeremy Camp was what brought you back and that episode your episode that will air before this one. Jeremy Camp is top five favorite artists for me. I actually have a clip of him talking about his wife dying and how he wrote I will walk by faith on his honeymoon of his wife who died, and he talks about asking the same questions as you ask and he says I even threw my Bible across the room. I've threw my Bible across the room because I had a very similar experience after I exited my domestic violence situation but, like you, something kept drawing me back to where he was highlighted, which was church, and I can't highlight enough. Again, we talked about it on your episode before this, but we have three C's on this podcast church, counseling and community. And, tammy, your story is dripping with a church, family and a community that when your faith was hard to find, as the famous Beaver Norman song says, what they said was you could borrow ours.
Speaker 1:You know, and they held me up and tolerated the spiral that happened while I was not talking to God. That's when my I think that I always had that addiction prescription meds. But after losing brain, even though I was still going to church and even when I was sincere again and back to loving my Lord and savior, my addiction escalated at that point. Because when you've lost somebody, like I did, first thing that was, oh, you're not sleeping. Get, let's give you a sleeping pill. You are not eating. Let's give you a depression, but it's gonna increase your appetite. They have me on so gut a headache. Let's give you some narcotics to spray up your nose. And it was literally. A nasal spray was ridiculous. You know, the doctor became my drug dealer and it didn't take me long to figure out if one pill made me sleep for three or four hours, four pills would make me sleep for 12. And if I was sleeping, then my life didn't hurt some.
Speaker 3:You know the old saying. If one is, what is the old saying for addiction? One is too many and 10,000 is not enough.
Speaker 1:Now I laugh because then I joke that God, you've got a good sense of humor Because now I have meds that I have to take every day, Says the girl who swore off of all prescription meds. Now I need them for my blood pressure and what have you, and I don't get a choice. But I, when we moved here to Corpus Christi 10 years after my daughter died well, we've been here 10 years I'm sorry. I made my husband go with me to those doctor's appointments when we first moved here to make sure that I had that conversation that I'm an addict.
Speaker 3:That accountability.
Speaker 1:You know. So when I had a root canal down I couldn't take anything to Tylenol. Of course my dentist constantly forgets. I wants to prescribe an iconic and I'm like no Tylenol or Advil. I'm sorry, because I don't trust myself.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and I think that this is an important point, because this podcast is about how you held on to your faith, and our stories are so similar, it's eerily similar. Same thing go into church, you know totally. Go in doctor shopping. This was before I left him Doctor shopping. They would write me 90, 120 pills at a time and I too found like, hmm, one makes this not suck so much. I wonder what four will do, wonder what six will do. Well, hey, I wonder what happens if I mix alcohol with it. And I love Jesus, let me be very clear on that, and I love Jesus when I did that too.
Speaker 3:So, listeners out there, you're hearing two people who somehow not somehow, because Jesus left the 99 to find the one. How did Tammy and Amy hold on to their faith? Because he left the 99 to find us. He I don't know about you, tammy, but he chased me down so you said I still believe, brought you back. That song, I bet if I picked up, my phone has probably been played four 500 times for a long time and it's not anymore. So nobody tried to be nefarious out there, it was my password on my things. I still believe because that was the only way, because we have an enemy who wants to go see your God took your daughter.
Speaker 3:Yeah, he let her die, he let her die yeah we have an enemy, that his whole point is to come to the, to roam this planet to seek, kill and destroy us. And the thing about a sustaining faith in Jesus is when we show up. You mentioned that. You don't even know that. You said that, but you said I just kept showing up to church. So, listeners, I would encourage you out there, no matter what you've lost, no matter what you're going through. You don't have to be perfect to go to church. In fact, perfect people aren't allowed.
Speaker 3:So Tammy was angry at God, not speaking to God except for maybe in yells and screams was not in the word, but for some reason you still went to church and I, tammy think I don't know this don't have a Bible verse for it. But while the stories of yours and mine are terrible stories and people will question, how can you still love a God who took your daughter? How can you still love a God who had somebody choke you up against a wall in your, in your case, and mine? How can you still love a God and fill in the blank, and I don't have an answer to that question, except for he chased me down and would not let me go, and he was okay with my fist shaking at God.
Speaker 3:Have you heard the new Cory Asbury song? It's not so new anymore. It's called kind and the beginning of the lyrics of that verse is sometimes marriages don't work, sometimes babies die, sometimes rehab turns to relapse and your left just asking why. And he says I've had this question a lot and I know that he is real, but I still sometimes wonder why. I still wonder how he chooses who he does and doesn't heal.
Speaker 1:You know, the pastor was preaching at Brandy's Memorial service, Romans 828. And he has used the tragic loss of Brandy.
Speaker 3:Right now he's using it.
Speaker 1:My addictions, my own personal experience with domestic violence. He took only God's math, and this is I say this all the time he could take a negative and a negative and a negative and turn it into a positive. And it blows my mind. Today, 13 years after the loss of Brandy, he's using it, not for mine Glory, but for his. He gave me so much grace while I was out there shriveling up and just spiraling out of control. He gave me grace. I tried to take myself out of this world right after losing Brandy by taking a lethal overdose, but I still lived and I woke up the next day screaming at God again. Why did I wake up?
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:He had right here today, right now, in this present second this is my lie. He had a calling on my life since I was a child and I didn't ever realize it. So, walking by faith, I have to believe. I have to believe that there's something bigger than you and I and that someday we will be reunited, we will be in heaven where there's no more sickness, there's no more cancer, there's no more domestic violence. God never left me. I thought he did Just keep showing up.
Speaker 3:And that's you know. That's a mic drop as we move towards the end of the episode. That is a mic drop. Here's the thing, guys, is that we don't one of my favorite therapists, who was on the podcast recently, and I don't think this is an original quote from him. But Jeremy Fox says your pain and your trauma was not your fault, but your healing is your responsibility. And if you're under the sound of my voice, my message will always be, until the day I take my final breath, that healing comes from the only one that can heal the rest of that Corey Asbury song says I don't know the answer to those questions, but on that day, when I looked up at the cross and the darkest day of history, I thought to myself that's what kindness cost. And so I've. I will go to my grave saying two things Jesus is preeminent in this world, no matter what you've been through, and hanging onto your faith is the only way you're going to survive this. I, too, tried to take my a handful of pain pills and a bottle of wine, and woke up the next day. So, on December the 4th 2023, I, too, still have a purpose, and today it is to tell Brandy's story.
Speaker 3:Today it is to tell Tammy's story Today. It is to tell you people out there that are listening, but why would God do this? It's okay to be angry with him, it's okay to shake your fist at him, it's okay to throw your Bible across, because he can handle it. But you've got one choice at the end of it all you get to pick what you do with this trauma. You get to pick what you get to do with this pain, and I'm here to tell you that the only decision that will get you sustaining peace and the all sufficient grace that carries us. Paul says my grace is sufficient for you. My strength is made perfect in weakness. Single decision for you out there, listener, and Tammy or I both would be so happy to introduce you to the star of the story. Because, guys, faith and hope can be held together with trauma and loss, and when it is. What a sweet, sweet commune with God that you have.
Speaker 3:Tammy, I wouldn't trade. People ask me all the time would you trade anything? And, to quote somebody else, I wouldn't choose it, but I wouldn't change it. Do you know why I wouldn't change it? Cause I can't breathe without him. I haven't had a successful life without Jesus and the successful mitigation of the pain has been because of Jesus. The fact that that bottle of wine and handful of pills didn't kill me is because of Jesus. That's right.
Speaker 3:So something bigger, something bigger, something bigger. But guys, if you're out there in unspeakable trauma like losing a child, like I wanna say to you again I'm so sorry for the loss of Brandy, but today she is a Y. Today people are gonna be like there's something to this faith that Tammy will it has. Let me check it out. And so as we exit out of the podcast Tammy, lots of angel moms out there. Most, some of them probably still throw in stuff across the room and maybe even a ragnostic or atheist. What do you say to them?
Speaker 1:To reach out to somebody that you're not alone. That was a turning point in my healing, is when I could accept that Jesus Christ was still alive and he's going to help me. And he connected me. Get connected with like-minded people. Get connected and get a support system. Reach out to somebody because, yes, it's going to hurt forever, I'm sorry. I'm not gonna offer a whole bunch of cliche things and say tomorrow at your tenant's gonna get better now, missing them always is going to be there. And this grief journey nobody else's grief and trauma it's the same. None of it's identical. There's no rule book. We all are on rollercoaster ride that none of us bought a ticket to and it's just. It is what it is and I know that sounds horrible, but there's others like you and no, you're not crazy. You're entitled to feel however you're feeling right now. If you're mad at God, his shoulders are big enough to handle it. Go ahead. He loves you and he's never going to leave you. He's just gonna wait and you just keep showing up hanging there.
Speaker 3:I think that's the message keep showing up For me. My life and my story changed. I could have gone two different directions. When I exited my domestic violence marriage, I went to church, slipped in the back, then talked to a soul, and now, 16 years later, here we are on a podcast, listen to all over the world, and so thank you for being here today.
Speaker 3:Guys, I do want to highlight Tammy.
Speaker 3:We highlighted this in the last episode, so by the time this episode airs, we will be past the deadline for what we're getting ready to talk about, but we will actually provide a way for people to donate to the organization.
Speaker 3:And so, because of all that you've been through, you work for an organization called Break the Silence Against Domestic Violence.
Speaker 3:As we mentioned earlier in the episode and certainly on your episode before, you are the Legacy Family Director, and right now, your goal is to get 140 families sponsored, and these are children who are left orphaned and some survivor sisters, and so I don't know where we'll be by the time this episode drops, but if you guys will go on my social media, this episode will drop a day after the deadline that Break the Silence needs, and so, but if we've not reached the 140 goal and you want to donate. It's $35 a child. I'm going to put that link in the show notes where you can just donate to Break the Silence and hopefully there'll be a little holidays of hope memo that you can write down. And it's just Tammy's goal to get every one of these kids sponsored at $35. And so I don't know how many of our listeners are stepped up from your first episode, but we definitely will put a link and for Break the Silence Against Domestic Violence, and so you get the mic to close the episode. My friend.
Speaker 1:As far as our holidays of hope program go, by the time this drops, we will still be taking monetary donations. So if you still click on the join and support us, drop down to the holidays of hope, there's still going to be a place to donate. If it's $10, donate and that is going to be that way it is directed and it has to be held into the holidays of hope account, right? If you go to the Legacy Families page and click, there's a place there to support the Legacy Families, say to create a sponsorship for a family to attend the retreat this year. I neglected to say that a while ago, amy, if there's a family out there that is just really struggling, we have a Legacy Family Retreat this past 2023.
Speaker 1:I facilitated my first retreat. Well, I tried to break God out because I don't even know what facilitated meant, but it's a time to create that sense of community and if somebody, you know, if you're looking for that place, that you fit in and that you belong, because when you say domestic violence and murder, people squirm, death, grief, make people domestic violence. You know, I want to say it, scream it from the rooftop. It makes people uncomfortable. You know, it's still that elephant in the room there, but he likes to walk around and not talk about it. Let's talk about it. Let's talk about it. If you need this retreat, if you've got extra fundings, you know you can donate through the Legacy Families page. You can sponsor a family to attend or pay a little bit towards somebody's sponsorship. I know that as we get closer we will open that up and do some sponsoring so that other families can get there.
Speaker 3:But we had six families that came to the last retreat About how much is it per family.
Speaker 1:It is per person and it's $800 a head. Okay, but there will be therapeutic art, there will be some meditation, there is some journaling and we are a Christian based organization.
Speaker 3:Yes, and you are a 501c3. I think that's important, and so we'll be highlighting that quite a bit over the course of the next you know, several months.
Speaker 3:I'll stay in touch with Tammy. The Wednesdays with Watson podcast is going to informally sponsor one of the young ladies that we have and by the time this episode drops it'll be gone because my people have showed up. But we are going to informally sponsor one of the young ladies whose name is Peyton and her mom was killed and she has three siblings and there is something in my heart that just wants to make sure that that young lady knows that there is a God who loves her and if one day she is trying to decide whether she wants to hang on to her faith or not have any faith, that I'll show. Look back at this time. She'll look back at the Wednesdays with Watson podcast who is going to help her know that there's a God out there that loves her and he has created people that love her, and I wish we could do the whole family. But she is on my heart. She is the oldest one. She is 11 years or 15 years old right now. She was 11 at the time of the murder and so we'll be doing a lot together. Tammy, I know that we'll have you on the podcast again as it gets closer to the retreat. My people like the given and big buckets, and so Christmas is a big time for us, and so thank you to the Wednesdays with Watson listeners out there, from the very bottom of my heart, for what you guys have done for this family.
Speaker 3:We are in December of 2023. We're at the very beginning of our by faith series. This is the second episode of by faith Tammy, who has told us the story of her daughter Brandi, today. Go back and listen to her episode before her own journey of surviving domestic violence and how she found God in the midst of such pain, heartache and trauma. Tammy, thank you for being here today. You get to hear it twice in one day.
Speaker 3:I do not leave a microphone without saying it to our guests and to our listeners, and to those of you at earbuds in your ear laying next to somebody who is your abuser. I want you to know that there is such hope and you can get help and break the silence against domestic violence. As an organization that will help you do that. Just click right in the show notes. There's a right there. On their website. There's a place to exit out really quickly. It doesn't record the cookies on your computer, all the things. And so, guys, you're loved, you're valued and you deserve better, and so we will be back here in two weeks as we continue our by faith series. We appreciate you guys listening, and we will see you in two weeks.
Speaker 2:I want to be more like you. Let my life be one more time. And when my hope is fading and when will he still sell me? I will remember how you you never fail me. You have pulled me out from the depths. You have saved me from certain death. You have shown yourself faithful to me over and over Jesus. So let my life glorify you. Teach me to walk beside you. I want to be more like you, so let my life be one, more by you, more by you, more by you.