Advocating Differently, The Audrey Mabrey Prosper Story (Domestic Violence Awareness)

What does it mean to advocate differently? This bonus episode of the Wednesdays With Watson podcast is an important conversation with Audrey Mabrey Prosper, domestic violence survivor and super advocate. Her message may not sit well with some, but if we are going to affect change, we must change the narrative. These days, Audrey is advocating differently, join her fight!  You can contact Audrey, and and join our fight to change the narrative here.

Click Here  to contact Amy

TRIGGER Warning--Audrey's story is at the beginning of the episode, pick. up at 2:53.

Opening clip  property of Dr. Phil McGraw, and the emmy-nominated syndicated Dr. Phil Show, owned by the Oprah Winfrey Network. I do not own the rights to this clip listed in the public domain.

(0:00) "He will never take away my future, my happiness, my character, you wanted the beauty? Take it, you can have it"--Audrey Mabrey Prosper

(6:36) "I truly believe that I will find love again" Audrey Mabrey Prosper

Survivor: "To surpass with great change, thoughts and tenacity"--Audrey Mabrey Prosper

(8:57) Question: "Can you. tell me what you mean by advocating differently?"
"when we would talk about advocating...a lot of times we were expressing frustration...in 11 years the number of people being impacted by domestic violence has not declined...you start to wonder, what do we need to be doing differently.." Audrey Mabrey Prosper

"There are 3 phases to domestic violence: prevention, intervention and restoration"--Audrey Mabrey Prosper

(11:20) "We have created a narrative there is a victim and a villain there is a narrative and we aren't going to change it...advocating differently means changing the narrative...it is not a battle of good versus evil..."--Audrey Mabrey Prosper

(13:20) "her ex that abused her was going to court had abused another person and I thought wow, all the work we have done to break our silence did not change him as he abused somebody else"--Audrey Mabrey Prosper

Scripture
Joel 2:25

Domestic violence statistics

(16:02) Question: "What is your message to victims, survivors and those who love us?"

(19:19) Question: "Why don't we ask victims, 'why don't you just leave?'"
(20:19) "if you stay you could die, if you leave you could die"--Audrey.  Mabrey Prosper

The importance of a plan when leaving.

(21:00) The importance of co-parenting with abuser.

(22:00) The importance of community, Audrey's shout out to the entire Tampa Bay Community.

(26:08) Question: Is counseling part of your story?
"It was incredible for me to have that safe space...I didn't want to worry my friends and family so I really needed that safe space of counseling"--Audrey Mabrey Prosper

(27:17) "I want survivor to be able to choose the healing services they need"--Audrey Mabrey Prosper

(28:53) Question "Is Jesus the star of your story like he is mine?"

(30:15) "It is amazing what God can do if we let Him"--Audrey Mabrey Prosper

(31:00) "I prayed for Him for 18 months...."--Audrey Mabrey Prosper

Christopher Haney's "victim impact statement"

"We get to choose how we move forward"--Audrey Mabrey Prosper

Investiga

You ARE:
SEEN KNOWN HEARD LOVED VALUED

Transcript

Audrey Mabrey Prosper  0:00  
He'll never take away my feature. You'll never take away my happiness. You'll never take away my character you wanted to beauty. Take it. You can have it

Amy Watson  0:17  
everybody, and welcome to a very special bonus episode of The Wednesday's with Watson podcasts. It is October of 2021. And it is both Breast Cancer Awareness Month and Domestic Violence Awareness Month. As many of you know, I am survived for both. I do want to just say that about the first two minutes of this podcast, maybe sensitive to some listeners, it certainly is inappropriate for young ears. And if you are currently in a domestic violence situation, or early in your healing, you may want to scrub past the first two minutes. But the remainder of the episode is filled with hope of how Audrey got from such a tragic, tragic situation, to the place where she is today on TEDx talks on all kinds of shows like Dr. Phil investigation ID, where she is advocating differently. Audrey reminds us in the episode of why everybody matters, even our abusers. So I hope that you enjoy the hopeful parts of Audrey story. Regardless of how tragic it was, for her to get to where she is today.

Audrey Mabrey Prosper  1:32  
was the type of man that constantly accused me of cheating on him. He was a controlling man. He was a jealous man. But he never hit me. I left school that day, came home as soon as I open the door is when he bombed Rashmi stark naked with a butcher knife. He immediately took me into the garage. He laid me on the ground first and was trying to bribe me with a butcher knife to my throat. And I was saying to him, you know, what are you doing? I love you. I love you. He then struck me in the head with a hammer four times he threw gasoline at me grabbed a candle and tossed the candle at me. And I went up in flames.

News Reporter  2:16  
Investigators say it appears Christopher Haney doused his wife, Audrey Mabry with some sort of flammable liquid and then litter on fire.

Audrey Mabrey Prosper  2:25  
I began to pray God, just let me live. Just let me live. I spun up open the garage, and ran out in this neighborhood and ran to me as I was rolling in the grass and hit me with her son's jacket. That was it. We'll never take away my feature. They'll never take away my happiness. They'll never take away my character. You want it to beauty. Take it, and you can have it.

Amy Watson  2:54  
And then she told me what Jesus did. domestic violence survivors know it when they see it. So one night, I was on Facebook. And as I was just scrolling, I scrolled past it first. You know, it wasn't the scars on her face or her neck, her arms or legs. It was like this light in her eyes and the way that they match the smile on her face. Her lips didn't seem to want to curl up though. And in retrospect, that it was uncomfortable to smile because of the scars. But her smile guys lit up the screen. And as she spoke, pure, unadulterated joy came from her instrument. Because you see her voice box made it audible but it was the authenticity of her heart. That stopped me in my tracks. She was literally doing a Facebook Live from her closet where she was selling some of her stuff. But I couldn't help but think this was a woman who refused to be entrapped in the prison of her pain. No closet could silence her voice. She didn't talk about the burns in the scars that night. She only talked about how awesome life was and how it was worth living. And then she said, I believe I will find love again. I believe it will happen. So at that point, I had to know what happened. Because that day Audrey didn't tell her story. And so I went looking for it. And you just heard part of it. But then she told me what Jesus did. And I can't wait for you to hear it. This by far is one of the most hopeful stories I've ever heard in my life. enjoyed this conversation with Audrey Mabrey prosper, who is spending her life advocating differently for domestic violence. Okay, we are here with Audrey prosper. And Audrey is really guys one of my favorite people and somebody with her I've had the opportunity to spend some time in the trenches with So Audrey. Welcome to the Wednesday's with Watson podcasts.

Audrey Mabrey Prosper  5:08  
Well, thank you for having me. I'm excited to be here with you. Just to chat a little bit today.

Amy Watson  5:13  
Can I just tell you how gorgeous you look?

Audrey Mabrey Prosper  5:16  
Oh, well, thank you very much. I thought you know, I might pull myself together for you today.

Amy Watson  5:20  
Yeah, I think you might be my one podcast that I'm actually able to put on video so you look gorgeous. Well, Audrey, I don't know if you remember this. And I don't know if I've ever told you this. But I wanted to tell you and the listeners too, as just a bit of an icebreaker of how I came to know. The Audrey what was then Mabry story, and is now Audrey prosper. Spoiler alert, this ends not in a neat bow. But Audrey has a beautiful family and gorgeous if I do say so myself husband, and so she is no longer Audrey Mabry But Audrey prosper. But let me tell you how I met, you never heard this story. So one night, I am laying in bed because I don't have a life on my iPad, and I'm scrolling through Facebook. And I see you're doing a Facebook Live. And this was before some of the later surgeries that you had. And so it was still very obvious that something had happened to you. And so it made me stop. And you were going through your closet, and I think you were at your mom's house in Texas. And I don't know who was there with you. But I was watching that. And I was just like, Gosh, I wonder what happened. And then you made this comment. And you said, I truly believe that I can find and that I will find love again. And I remember laying in bed and at that time, I was only three or four years out from my own exit have my own domestic violence situation. And I remember laying there thinking she's insane. You love doesn't exist, especially after domestic violence, especially after a story like Audrey has, well, it doesn't exist. But I kept watching and then I connected with you on Facebook. And then you and I did some work with a organization at that time of what you were the chair, the president of the board. And we just we just got to know each other and come to find out the story that the listeners heard prior to in the cold open, the story they heard happened just over a very scary bridge and Florida here, I'm in the Tampa Bay area. And so and this happened in the Tampa Bay area, and so I went searching and scouring for all the things and local news stations and all of that and just fell in love with you. And over the years, we've stayed a little bit loosely in contact, but we both kind of really found our lane, in advocacy for domestic violence survivors thrivers. If we do watch some video just raised this my shirt off, I'm wearing a shirt as a purple shirt, because Purple is the color for domestic violence. And it says survivor on it. Audrey actually made this and it says, survivor to surpass all odds with great change thoughts. And there's another word say tenacity. So I'm trying to Yeah, I'm trying to read it upside down. And so I worthy, I wear this shirt for you today. And so So listeners did hear your story. Your horrific story happened in 2009. And now you have dedicated your life to the cause of advocate advocacy, as have I really. But you said something that caught my attention in the prep interview. And we're going to put everywhere people can find you in the shownotes. So let's go back. So listeners heard your story that this happened in 2009. And so you've dedicated your life to advocacy. But there are two words that you say in most of your branding. And those two words are advocate differently. Can you tell me what you mean by that?

Audrey Mabrey Prosper  8:58  
Yeah. So first and foremost, just I mean, thank you for the opportunity to sit and share time with you today. And to hear you share about you know how you came across it in the beginning was just, I was it was a gift. So thank you for sharing that part two. You know, advocating differently can mean a lot of things for a lot of different people. Right? Yeah. For me, really how this whole thing was birthed, I think, testifies to what it means to advocate differently more than anything else. And that is that. As you know, after this attack that I went through occurred, I started speaking out publicly through the media, national international media, local media. And along the way, I started to meet a lot of different survivors. I met a lot of advocates, I met a lot of survivors who were also advocates. And so for the last three years or so, a lot of these advocates who are also survivors, and myself would have these sort of discussions behind the scenes and when we would talk about advocating. And when we talk about domestic violence, when we talked about, you know, the horrors of what people experience, a lot of times, we were expressing frustration. And that frustration was really rooted in the fact that, you know, I've been doing this 11 years now, in 11 years, the number of people being impacted by domestic violence hasn't declined, right? That's only one decade, right? When we talk two and three and four decades, you start to wonder, you know, what, what is it that we need to be doing differently? Because apparently, whatever we're doing is working in some capacity. I think even more so in the end from the intervention perspective, right? Because advocating is, there's prevention, there's intervention, and there's restoration. It's kind of like these three phases. And so I just got wondering, what do we need to do differently? Well, at the same time, myself, and these other advocates, were really afraid to openly talk about this. And the reason why is because we, we, you know, in the advocacy world, you're you're taught some things that are kind of like Silent lessons. And then some of them are open lessons. One of them is don't try to change the narrative, you know, we have created a narrative that is rock solid, there is a victim, there is a villain, and that's a, we draw the line in the sand and you're not going to change it. Well, what we have found, just as we all banded together, and said, you know, what, if we're not going to be popular, when this is all over, who cares? What we care about is reducing the numbers of people that are impacted daily by this thing. And so when we have have continued the conversations now around advocating differently, and what does that mean? I think first and foremost, it's about shifting the narrative. Yeah, right. Because this is not I talked about in my TED Talk, it'll come out soon. This is not an episode of Avengers, right? It's not a battle of good versus evil, where you know, all we have to do is become the hero, swoop in and save the victim, and then punish the villain. And we can all live in peace and harmony, right? Because if that were the case, then you and I wouldn't be having this discussion. Right. Yeah. So I think that that is absolutely number one, one of the most jarring experiences I've ever had in my life, as you mentioned, both of us being connected to another national organization in the past. And when I got to experience some someone in that organization, basically, what it came down to was this individual had started the organization was creating great impact around the messaging of breaking our silence. And we were doing it, we were breaking our silence, I think in record numbers, it was unbelievable how this this generation of survivors said, You know what, I'm just going to speak out because that's what matters right now. But then a couple of years into it, her ex who had abused her, was now going to court again, for abusing the next person. And I thought, Wow, all the work that we did, in breaking our silence and helping people heal after abuse, more specifically, women. It didn't stop him from abusing the next person.

Amy Watson  13:41  
Wow, I have chills. So this is the work you're doing now. Is changing the narrative. And we're Yeah, we want it. So we are recording this episode for Domestic Violence Awareness Month, it'll be evergreen, it'll be out there forever. And so guys, if you're listening to this, because what she just dropped on us was, as we call in the audio world, a gem is we've got to change the narrative. Because one of the most beautiful things Audrey that I ever witnessed is your ex husband, that the father of your children who did this horrific thing to you, is in prison, yet you a couple years ago, and this also played out on Facebook Live, had to walk through this process. And we don't have time to talk about the whole forgiveness process and all of that. But all of that to say is that I could see that shift in you where you were like, you could look in the mirror and see what he had done to you not to mention the filmstrip that goes through your brain and look at your children and see him but yet it was still so important to you that he also was a human being that bled on somebody that didn't hurt him. And that's hard and if anybody has the authority to say stuff like that, or anybody has the authority to add to put advocate differently, and let's stop making it The good guy versus the bad guy. And because my podcast preaches that you matter, I don't care who you are, you matter, I don't care how bad you are, you matter. And so to change the narrative to be able to help the villain and I'm err, quoting, when I say that, or the abuser is a beautiful thing, and it's Joel 225 being played out in your life, or that where God says, I will restore the years that the locals have stolen. And so moving into that, though, so for the listeners that are listening, they did hear your story, the stats, like you said, have not changed one in four women, one in seven men will experience domestic violence in their lifetime. There are good well meaning people that are listening to this podcast right now. And they want to make it better they want to fix it, they want to enter into the situation, insert themselves into the situation, and help. What is your message? And you know, because we've prepped for the interview, I have some specific questions for you this but your but your overall message to the one and four and one and seven, because again, they heard your story, they're going to see pictures and promos and videos leading up to it. And so you've got authority here to talk to us to talk to those of us who experience violence in our home by the hands of somebody that we love, and who loves us whether or not it looked like it or not, what's your message to those people?

Audrey Mabrey Prosper  16:25  
I mean, first and foremost, domestic violence doesn't always look the same. You know, it comes in many different forms, and many different images, and experiences. our way out of that toxic environment also doesn't always look the same. But what I do know is that when we are immersed in toxicity, we can't be healthy ourselves. If we have children, we can't be healthy for them, they can't be healthy. The other thing that I would share is that while we need to find a way out, I think that the importance of healing is I mean, magnified. He talked about forgiveness and all of that. And I think that it's an it's imperative for us to do the internal work. Yeah. To understand where and how we got to where we were, I can tell you right now, for me, a lot of mine was ingrained in in not feeling worthy. A lot of mine was embedded in daddy issues, dare I say, you know, figuring out what is it within us? Right? It's not it's not a victim blaming situation. It's just how did I get

Amy Watson  17:39  
here? Yeah. And how can I start it?

Audrey Mabrey Prosper  17:42  
Yeah. And how did we get here? And so for the people that experience it, you're not alone? Yeah, right. There are people who care about you, who want to help you. It's a very dangerous situation to exit an abusive relationship, that has to be done with a lot of caution and a lot of planning. It's not fair. And it's not your fault. Right. Right. That there is a silver lining, if you allow it. That's perspective, right? In healing. And also that I'm in no way saying that because I have forgiven that everyone needs to forgive. In my foundational faith belief system. Yes. I believe that. Forgiveness is a choice. I'm also not saying that, you know, I was never angry. Or I was never depressed, or I didn't have anxiety. Were looking at my life. 11 years later, you know, it takes time. Yeah. And I am in no way saying, we need to all just have compassion for the person who is committing these acts of violence. That's not what I'm saying.

Amy Watson  18:51  
Right. Right. So you addressed one of my questions is, what do you say to the person that just left it is the most dangerous time listeners out there, it has to be planned, it has to be done what you just have to and what the a lot of lit lay people and I say that are people who have not experienced domestic violence don't understand that all they see us. And this is my next question. Why don't we say to people, why don't you just leave? From your job? We say to people, yeah, why? Why is that not a good thing to say to people who are currently in? Yeah,

Audrey Mabrey Prosper  19:27  
yeah. Okay. I was like, do we say that? Because I don't say that. You know, I mean, we collect it. We don't send it back. Because it's like the image I always have the image of a police officer officer showing up on the scene, and them telling you you know, you're in a dangerous situation need to get out of it, and they hand you a pamphlet that has to do with all the DV resources in your community. And you're in a state of trauma. You don't even really know what you're being handed. You're not really even present in the conversation. And quite frankly, most police officers don't understand And that what they're really asking you to do is risk your life. 

You know, if you say you could die, and if you leave, you could

Amy Watson  20:08  
die, you could die. 

Yeah. And the moment the most dangerous time is after you leave. And so I know in my own story, I left the country. But I took a few more hits a few more punches, a few more of all the things, because I knew that I needed to do it, well, or I was going to die. And so I, there were three ways that I that I could potentially die, I could die by staying, I could die by leaving, but the highest potential of me actually dying in my particular situation would have been leaving without a plan, leaving without some safety measures in place. And so listeners out there, especially domestic violence survivors, and thrivers, understand that this is the most important part of the entire process is that you plan it and that you plan it well. And I speak into the lives and the ears of those of you who love survivors of domestic violence, even if they're currently and it is just not as simple as you think it is. Because I still love my abuser who is no longer on this planet. I loved him until the day that I found out that he died of a drug overdose. And I went into a deep depression, because we just don't unLove somebody and Andre, I watched you with a process with your husband, who was doing a life sentence for what he did to you or your ex husband, excuse me, as doing a life sentence and you co parent really well with them. And with and I think that we need to highlight the importance of co parenting. And I just want to tell you how proud I am of you for that. Because it would have been really easy for you to go to the judge and go, I don't want these boys to have anything to do with this man that did this to me. But you didn't do that. Because you understood the importance of your children are biracial. And so that brings in another another layer here, because you understood the importance of raising two biracial young men and the United States of America. This podcast is heard in 48 countries around this world and then this one, but we have racism issues in this country. Parents like you are telling young black boys what to do when a cop stops, and then all the things. And so it's important also about their listeners, as Audrey does is CO parent, she manages to co parent her two boys with her abuser who is in prison. And that is admirable. And you need to know that. 

Audrey Mabrey Prosper  22:28  
Yeah, thank

you appreciate that.

Amy Watson  22:30  
One of the things that was interesting to me, Audrey, we preach community a lot on this podcast. And so I just want to give you a chance to shout out this early community and those of you in the Tampa Bay area, you can easily find this on any of the local stations. But there were a couple local organizations that helped you one of them was I believe, was hands across Tampa Bay. Who is that? Right? Or they're the ones that purchased you the car, if I remember correctly? Yes and no, yes. But they were involved, right, a group of people got together in a car was either donated or deeply discounted or something to you. Then you had a doctor. And I want to take about three minutes for you to shout out this doctor because because he is amazing and did amazing things. Not just because using his skills, but as a human being this community came around you this Tampa Bay community came around you. What did this doctor do for you?

Audrey Mabrey Prosper  23:25  
Yeah, well, Dr. Gulin is a really special guy. And you are correct that the entire community rallied around me. And if there's one thing that I wish that all survivors had, it was that level of support, because it literally changed the game for me and catapulted me into my healing journey to know that I was surrounded by so much support emotionally, financially. I mean, mentally, people went to court with me like it was unbelievable the amount of support in Tampa Bay, and I will always, always be so grateful for that entire community. But Dr. Gulin, I was connected to him through another organization that actually did my very first surgery, reconstructive surgery on my neck out of Beverly Hills. And his wife had a connection piece. And she really is the one that took the story to him and said we got to help her Aina is his wife. And basically, I know actually had gone through a fire when she was five years old. So we connected on the burn level. And then she obviously brought me in with her husband and and he I think one of my I think actually my surgery. My last surgery was one of the last surgeries he ever did. Like he was getting ready to retire. And this man literally said, come down here or two hours south in Naples. I want to see what we can do for you. Let's try to restore and reconstruct as much as we can. We're not charging you a dime for anything. I mean, I never advocated even beyond that. She contacted the hospital and said This girl's going to have to pay for her hospital stay Can you guys write it off the hospital wrote that off. I mean it was The anesthesiologist everything right? It was an outpouring of generosity. And thank God also skill because he did an amazing job really deconstructing my neck. Most of the world didn't know that only had happened. Have an ear on my left side, he reconstructed my ear for me. He even he even took some fat out of my mommy tummy for me and put it in my cheat. So I was happy that I was super

nice. 

Amy Watson  25:29  
Yeah, well, you You look gorgeous. And I'm sorry to hear that he doesn't do surgery anymore. Because, like I, again, I got to watch the journey. And I'm going to put all the links particularly to the Dr. Phil episode, because and I'm going to address I'm going to talk about that episode in just a second. But, but you are kind of at the very beginnings of the surgeries. And I want my listeners to see from what it was to what I'm looking at right now. And so the one of the other things that is really big in this podcast is counseling, trauma informed counseling. This is one of the reasons why I started the podcast, it's the reason why I'm alive to counseling play a role in your healing at all.

Audrey Mabrey Prosper  26:07  
Yeah, it absolutely did. And that's actually one of the areas that we intend to advocate differently in. So shifting the narrative is only the first part of advocating differently. I actually went through counseling in the Bay Area, my counselors name is Danielle and I love her, I went through two years of trauma focused counseling. And it was incredible for me to have that safe space. Listen, the whole community in my inner circle was so afraid for me so worried for me all the time I was in the hospital. And so when I came home, I really didn't want to worry them anymore. And they were all looking at me and telling me, they're strong, you can do this. So I really needed that safe space, to share the most authentic parts of me, and to work through all of those processes of healing. But one of the areas that we want to advocate differently in is by shifting some of the legalities around victim's compensation. I'd like to see the name change first and foremost, because some people don't even want to access services that are labeled victims. But I also would love to see for survivors to be empowered to be able to choose what healing modality they want, you know, when you when you go through a program like that offers that funding and covers it, you are offered the opportunity for counseling, you're also offered the opportunity for Western medicine, but it doesn't give you the opportunity to maybe go to a life coach, because that's a better fit for you. Or to pursue things like essential oils and supplements and working on your gut and getting your gut cleaned first, because that's where, like the brain gut connection is so imperative when it comes to healing, because of that emotional connection. And if you are ever feeling highly emotional, the first thing we need to do is clean up our guts. So yeah, that's just another way that counseling for me was amazing. I've also had life coaches in my life. And I definitely use all of those oils and supplements and so on and so forth.

Amy Watson  28:09  
Yeah, I need to be better about my gut. But that Yes, same trauma informed counseling, I love that you love something you said there is that they get to pick their modality. So mine, the one that worked for me happened to be EMDR. But there's internal family systems and a whole bunch of other modalities. And so some survivors out there, you guys know, I preach counseling on this podcast, every single one. And I've had counselors on here, I've had my own counselor on here. And I simply know that I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing. Without that. That brings me to the faith aspect of it. And when I was watching that Facebook Live, I could tell that there was something different about you, even though in that particular Facebook Live, I don't believe you reference your faith, or even reference god for that matter. But is Jesus the star of your story? Like he is mine?

Audrey Mabrey Prosper  28:54  
Yeah, no, it's for me. It's the Messiah. And it's also the father. You know, my heavenly Father, you know, when I was in my most desperate hour, I reached out to him. And I literally said, just let me live. Just let me live. That's all I want. Just let me live right before going up in points. And he is the one who got me out of that garage that day. And in fact, you know, I don't even remember if I even prayed in the Messiah's name during that experience. But afterwards, my experience through him being the star also is me just asking him to show me Chris through his eyes of compassion. I knew that if I looked at him only through my lenses, that I would never be able to see what the Father saw. And so he did that for me. You know, he showed me he was the one who showed me that Chris is a human being. He was the one that showed me that Chris had a past you said bleed over people who never cut you, right? He was the one who showed me that and he was the one who spoken So my spirit to open up the doors of communication between the children and their father, and that was all him. None of that was me, you know, along the way, and it's incredible what he can do. If we let him do it,

Amy Watson  30:16  
that surrender, surrender, yeah. And there's this tension between blaming God, and letting him bind up our broken heart and our broken wounds. Because, again, I have people that listen to my podcast, but don't believe in God. And I love how you worded that I call Jesus, the star of my story. But I believe in the Trinity. And obviously, the father, like you said, who gave Jesus to us and gave his only Son so that we could have this freedom so that people like Chris, who's sitting in prison as we speak, if he accepts Jesus as his Savior, that what he did to you what listeners heard me,

Audrey Mabrey Prosper  30:55  
and we had prayed for him for almost 18 months straight, and he gave his life. Wow, do you just lie? Well, you know, it's if you let him, it's amazing what he can do. If you let him his sin in the Word, the Word says that we're supposed to pray for our enemies. And so when I began to pray for him, quite frankly, he wasn't enemy. Enemy today, you know, but he was back then. And I'm just so grateful. I mean, especially as a parent, right, I want his soul to be safe. But also, as a parent, I need the both of us to be on the same page, in the message that we're showing you with our kids, right? And what our foundation is in and all of that. So that was important to me for that reason, too.

Amy Watson  31:36  
Yeah, I've got such chills, because I didn't know that part. You know, in my research for the podcast, I ran across the news report where the cameras are in the courtroom, and he gave his apology, you know, what I'm going to call it, I'm going to call it also a victim impact statement. And what's different, right, right, and that, and that's going to be scandalous to people that hear that he is a victim too. Because again, you don't just do what he did, or my ex husband just doesn't do what they did, or my mom who abandoned me, they don't do what they do. Because just because I mean, we know that evil happens in this world. But when Chris stood there and turned around and, and said what he said, and I can put that in the show notes, too. I was pissed. Like I even as early as last night, I was like Really dude, like, but it was still so broken. And I think we so if you referenced the director of that organization, and that whole thing, and and she gave a victim impact statement, and it just made me think Chris's statement to the judge, and to you and to your boys who were really little at the time was also a victim impact statement, because he had been impacted by what happened to him. It doesn't make the horrible thing that he did, right. But he too, had been so harmed. And we don't compare traumas. I tell people that all the time. And I can't measure it, you can't measure it, and everybody is affected differently. And all of that. Well, Audrey, here's what I want to do. I want to end the podcast two ways. First of all, I want to strongly encourage people to go in the show notes, click on Audrey's information, she's got a TEDx talk coming out, which I can't wait to hear. And that comes out in about two or three weeks, right? About four more about four more, okay, I was praying for you through that. But I want you connecting with her, I want you connecting domestic violence survivors. So the way I do it is you're a victim, you're a survivor, and then you're a thriver. That could be right or wrong. But if you're currently in a domestic violence situation, if you just left a domestic violence situation, or if you're like me, it's been 15 years and you want to heal differently. And you want this freedom of going I prayed for the man who lit me on fire to be in heaven with me forever and ever. Amen. That is only the star of the story that is only Jesus as only God who could put that into your heart. Here's something though, that you said on that Dr. Phil interview that I want. I want to remind you of you said, you can take my future you can take my beauty, but you can't take my happiness. You can take my future. You can take my beauty, but you can't take my happiness. And this was just right after it happened. And somebody year yeah, about a year after a choice. It is a choose we get to choose, and things that help us choose his things like community, church, God. And if we are going to change the narrative and stop the one in four, then one in seven and I would argue and I always have argued that that number is much higher than than it actually is. That then is actually reported because that's only what's reported. Exactly. And so I want to tell you how proud I am Have you, I want to tell you that you are making a difference in this world that you made a difference in my life that night because I was only two or three years out. And my ex husband at that time was still very much alive, and very dangerous and all the things and to hear you say, I believe I can find love again and then to watch. And maybe that's another podcast. But to watch the love story between you and your dare I say, don't get mad at me gorgeous husband has been remarkable. And you are the you are the epitone of Joel 225, where God is just restoring all the years that Lucas has stolen, and I want my listeners to get in contact with us. So guys, go in the show notes and do that. And connect with Audrey. And I will also connect some of the interviews she was on Investigation ID this story was on. She's been on Dr. Phil several times as well as many other places. But we didn't we're not trying to re traumatize people here. You heard a little bit on the cold opening. But this is a miraculous person that I have sitting in front of me right now. And so Audrey, thank you for being here with us today,

I will be in touch with you because I want to learn how to advocate differently, and how to work the other side of it. There is no victim there is no villain, there are a bunch of hurt people. We're all broken. We're all in need of a Savior. We're all a native community. We're all in need of just understanding each other and that we bleed on people that don't cut us. And so even if you're out there and you've been abused, you're listening to to people who have been abused and we don't compare, but Audrey was significantly abused as you heard in the cold opening. And as you can hear in some of the links that I'll share in the show notes that it is possible, it is possible to be on this side. Even if you never advocate for people like Audrey and I are it is possible to heal it is possible to live an abundant life. And it is possible. As you said to me that day on that Facebook Live going through your closet, there it is possible to find love again. And so Audrey, thank you for being here today. I so appreciate it, I will absolutely be back in touch with you. But I cannot stress enough listeners, please click in the show notes and get in touch with her. And then when that TEDx Hall comes out, that will be published on all of my social media the Wednesdays with Watson platform, which is everywhere, Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, also now Patreon. This is a young lady who is changing the world, raising two young men who are changing the world, having loved and forgiven a man who tried to kill her and his loving and a beautiful marriage now though I'm sure not without its own problems, because life isn't perfect. But But. But thank you for being here. And I would just like to know any parting words for for the listeners at all?

Audrey Mabrey Prosper  37:47  
Yeah, I would say that if we want healthy fruits, we have to look at the roots. So whenever you hear something that comes across, always start to dig, get curious and dig and, and uncover what those roots really are. Underneath whatever it is that you're looking at in your life. Curiosity has been tremendously amazing for me. So I'd say stay curious and look at the roots.

Amy Watson  38:15  
Stay curious and look at the roots. I love that healthy fruit, you got to look at the root. And so you are absolutely a rock star in my book. And I want you to know you're part of my healing story. And I'm going to end with you just like I do with everybody else, though. I know you know this, you are seen. You are known. You're heard. You are loved. And you are valued by so many people, but most of all by an almighty God. So thank you so much for being here today.

Audrey Mabrey Prosper  38:45  
Amen. Thank you.

Amy Watson  38:47  
Well, guys, I hope that you've found such encouragement and Andre story and especially her heart and maybe of Paramount, her mission to advocate differently. I have to tell you, she pushed me a little bit when she reminded me that her abuser mattered too. And I can promise you that that is something that we will be addressing on this podcast in the future. You know, as Phil Baker's SONG PLAYS us out of the podcasts that is a song called marked by you. And while Audrey is gorgeous and beautiful and unless you look really hard these days, you cannot see their scars. But I wonder if when she looks in the mirror she is reminded of the truth of the song that we've been playing for two seasons now. I just want to be a wife marked by you. I wonder if she looks in the mirror and sometimes thanks God for the reminder of his ever present help in trouble. She truly has a life marked by Jesus. We will be back here next week as this was a bonus drop to drop our episode on the Enneagram type three with Best Selling Author Katie dangered. I hope you will Join us back here and the healing zone as we are using the Enneagram to help us understand and process trauma and continue to read through it in a way until you come back next week and so that you know what I'm going to say. You are seen, you are known, you are heard, you are valued!

Transcribed by https://otter.ai