S10E11 - Finding Confidence Through Story: A Look Inside A Cohort That Builds Speakers, Not Numbers!!

What if confidence isn’t about hype but about pressure you can control? I sat down with Chris Ward Jr to unpack how a four-seat, handpicked cohort transformed shaky delivery into clear, compelling talks by pairing intense practice with a radically safe room. No stadium crowds. No guru gloss. Just calibrated challenges, recorded reps, and feedback that lands because it’s rooted in your story, not someone else’s script.

Chris explains why he refuses to run a massive class, how he pairs personalities for chemistry, and the simple rule that keeps speakers from spinning: one talk, one delivery style with a promise, and one framework that holds under stress. We go deep on presence—how pacing, pauses, and non-verbal choices make you feel “premium” before a single slide appears and how to build it through varied arenas: school halls, livestreams, community stages, anywhere you can get real reps and honest notes. There’s a clear system for sustaining momentum after that first breakthrough: pick a practice arena, record everything, review weekly, and share a language with peers so feedback is fast and specific.

We also challenge the need for titles. Coach, trainer, keynote—those labels tend to arrive after the value shows up. Instead, speak to what truly drives decisions: status, money, time, and health. You’ll hear Chris’ boundaries for energy and integrity, why he has clients sell themselves rather than be sold, and how active listening plus positive reinforcement delivers direct, compassionate coaching without ego. If you’re ready to stop rehearsing in your head and start refining on tape, this is your roadmap.

Plus, there’s a special invite: the next cohort opens in January, with early waitlist access for listeners who follow and DM @ChrisWardJr with who you are and why you want to join.

If this conversation helped and you’re ready to stop chasing titles and start communicating with a voice that lands, this conversation is your blueprint. Subscribe, share with a friend who’s ready to speak up, and leave a review to tell us what arena you’ll practise in next.

Transcript

Welcome, Season 10 Sets The Tone

SPEAKER_04 0:00

And that is why I did it because I myself went to an experience where I was just a number. And I didn't want anyone that I work with to feel like just a number. I wanted them to be able to execute their communicate.

SPEAKER_00 0:19

Welcome to Talk Twitter. And I'm the all spoiler. The chip talking. I mean, don't we all like talking shit anyways? Talk Shi WP is the podcast for you. Copy shit with paint. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:51

Alright. Chris is on Talk Shield. Finally, about time, Chris. About time you stepped in onto talk Shi WP to talk some share with P.

SPEAKER_04 1:01

Oh my god. You know I've been avoiding this, right?

Why A Four-Seat Story Cohort

SPEAKER_01 1:04

I know, but um, I like the fact that you've been avoiding it because now it comes to the perfect time. Season 10 is very special to me, and I needed to make sure that I have you be part of this. But also, when I mean perfect time, is because which we are gonna get straight into it. Um we both came out of your story-powered conference. Uh confidence calls. Why I don't know why I keep saying conference because that was our last assignment you made us look for conferences, but um your story-powered confidence course. Uh I am curious. What made you build this type of course and um the the the people you picked? I feel like you you picked us so perfectly. Like we were meant to all be in that specific class class with each other. And what surprised you about this cohort? Because again, we we are the ones who started it. So whoever comes next, you gotta bow down to us because we we brought the magic to life, but yeah.

SPEAKER_04 2:16

You're hilarious. You are hilarious. That's a great question. Uh, the story power confidence cohort that you were part of that started, what, six, seven weeks ago? It was honestly, you know, most people that I work with, they struggle with communicating confidently. They struggle with communicating the thoughts that's in their head and delivering it in a way that makes people want to take action. So I thought about my background and education and I said, what's the best way to really go deep with people who want to communicate in this way? I will create a limited cohort where most people want to do what? They want to get as many people as possible to spend money with them, correct? I don't do business that way. I need I need it to be done in a way that the people that I'm spending time with that they're able to practically apply what they're learning. So I limited the cohort seats to only four.

SPEAKER_07 3:29

Plus one. Four, five, five, but mainly four.

SPEAKER_04 3:34

And that is why I did it because I myself went through an experience where I was just a number. And I didn't want anyone that I work with to feel like just a number. I wanted them to be able to execute their communication style, find their story, and use it to grow their business. Because essentially that's what we're all in this for. We want a better life and we want it do it in our way.

SPEAKER_07 4:03

And this communication cohort allows people to do so.

SPEAKER_01 4:13

What was your like how did you end up placing all of us the way you placed us? Because I feel like what it worked perfectly, even though um we didn't know who we're gonna be paired up with, like we found out on the first day. So, how how did that come about?

Curating Personalities And Building Trust

SPEAKER_04 4:34

That's another great question. So most people will probably put potential clients in like a funnel system, and then they pay and then they just join. For me, I th I thought it was very important to hop on a call with every single person to see where they are and where they want to go, what tools they will need, what support they will need. And the team, the cohort that was in you that you were part of, each person stressed to me how important it was to have accountability, how important it was to have a community that feels like they're not doing it alone. So think about this. There are communities out there right now that have hundreds of people, but people still feel like they're doing it by themselves.

SPEAKER_07 5:26

Our class was a class of four. Right?

SPEAKER_04 5:31

And the bond that was created wasn't by coincidence. I'd spent time thinking about every single person that was going to be in that class, personality types, and how it would connect with each other. Because that's essentially what I do when I'm communicating as a speaker or a storyteller. I'm reading the room and engaging different personality types to see how my message may inspire them to take action. And I knew if I paired you amazing ladies together, not only will you take action, but you'll have fun doing it. And so it's an intense application process where I'm actually taking every single call to make sure that the class is a great fit for each other.

SPEAKER_01 6:16

I love that, and I love that you said intense, because believe it or not, that first class was intense, okay? So we came back. We came back and we even missed miss it. No, um, because we really had to search deep into our uh the root of our our story, and it felt like a therapy session, and and you have to be able to be vulnerable to to build onto that that experience. See what I did there? Uh into that I'm very proud.

SPEAKER_04 6:57

If you're listening or watching this right now, you may not have caught that, but for me, that was amazing what she just did. Uh we'll we'll talk about what that is later. That was amazing.

SPEAKER_01 7:07

But yeah, so to be able to all of us being that this is the first time we are. Um I'm not I think maybe B and B kinda, but all of us just being in the space for the first time together and having to share our lowest moment and build into it and turn that moment into a beautiful experience. And it it it was it was therapy, and I remember you promised that like this this one it won't be as deep every time. This is just the first time, and it was but after that, the building time became fun and exciting, and just watching each other flourish and with the way our thinking was switching in the moment was just just a beautiful experience. So I want to ask you this being the first course, right? Um, what did you see in this group that shifted the way you teach moving forward? Because I believe um just as much as we are learning, you're also learning how to experiment with this this unique technique that you have, and I say unique because um I've never had, and I hate using the word coach, and we're gonna talk about that later, but I've never had a coach um build us the way you did, if that makes sense.

Vulnerability, Therapy Energy, And Breakthroughs

SPEAKER_04 8:38

Well, first let me acknowledge that by saying thank you. That is powerful words from a powerful person. I'm honored by that. And you know me well. It's hard to not that I can't receive compliments, I don't look for them. So when I hear it, truly honored. Thank you. Thank you for that.

SPEAKER_06 8:58

Oh, you'll earn this.

SPEAKER_07 9:00

I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_04 9:02

As for experimenting and developing, you remember in our courses we're always refining. And who am I to teach refinement and not embrace it myself? So I believe if you've never heard me before or this is your first time meeting me, I honestly believe our greatest pain becomes our strongest motivation. So behind every why, there is a story with a gift discovered. My gift was found in refining. My gift was found in that pain. My pain came from you know what? When people try to really teach you things, they generalize a lot. And that could feel a little bit like gatekeeping, or it can feel like you're on a hamster wheel still trying to figure it out. My goal was to experiment in such a way that this cohort doesn't need me.

SPEAKER_07 10:02

After they get it.

SPEAKER_04 10:05

Now I know that sounds like why would you do that? You want people to stay. No, I want my cohort to feel so empowered, so confident, so structured that they can deliver a talk in any stage, in any arena under any amount of pressure. So what I've learned is that we're gonna up the pressure more from dealing with your first co the first cohort, you, you guys, you amazing human beings. So I'm finding now trickier ways to put the pressure up without the cohort knowing that I'm actually putting the pressure up. So when they get in the real world, it feels familiar, and everyone's like, wow. You sounded that was amazing. Where where did how did you do that? Like, where did that come from? Like, how did you refine your skills where you can communicate in that way? So that's what I'm working on right now is how to bring the level of pressure even up even more without the cohort even knowing that I'm doing that, so that it becomes normal to be able to speak under pressure in any situation.

SPEAKER_01 11:13

I love that. As much as I get excited about coming to class, right? Um, every time it was the time when we were put on the spot was like, oh shit, but also it amazed myself just taking in the challenge and surprising myself. And I I I know I've told you I had a uh breakthrough around my confidence, and we talked about um honoring my voice and speaking more slowly, uh which I've been constantly practicing, and I've seen the changes it's done. Like now I don't get annoyed because people don't keep making me repeat what I say, and even though it's not their fault, because I do have an accent and I do speak a certain way, so it's okay for them to ask me to repeat myself because they don't understand me, but because I'm speaking in a speech. But from your view, right? Um, what blocks do people struggle the most after that breakthrough? Because okay, now I've realized my breakthrough, right? And there's a reason I'm asking this question, which we're gonna get to, but now that I've I've mastered my breakthrough, which is oh, I gotta speak more and I've seen my confidence come higher with that breakthrough. Um, for people who maybe aren't like me and struggle after realizing that they're breakthrough to keep the momentum going, because just like when you're learning languages, if you don't have somebody to speak the language with, you lose the momentum. Like I I haven't talked my Dualingo in so long. So, how do you help with that?

Raising Pressure To Build Presence

SPEAKER_04 13:00

That's a great question. And first, let me congratulate you on acknowledging your breakthrough. I believe that's amazing. I believe people go through years and years of trying to figure out the next puzzle piece and they haven't experienced the breakthrough, and so they get discouraged and they give up. And you did not. So I'm proud of you. Amazing work.

SPEAKER_01 13:22

True, but that's what I'm saying. When you have a great coach, and I again I do not like using the word coach because you're more than just a coach, but when you have the right, you know, it it helps.

SPEAKER_04 13:37

I I appreciate that, and I receive that. I resonate with that. I will say if someone is having a breakthrough and he didn't need to know the very next step. I actually designed the cohort in that way so that you, V, and Bree would never leave each other. That was important to me. Again, intense application for that reason. That when I'm not around, the these three pillars will be able to continue to support each other. That's very important. I guess I can tell this now, but I also have something for you three. Uh, as the next stage is always presence building. Once you have a breakthrough and you understand the tools you have, you have to now elevate your presence. And how do you do that? It's where you're seen, who you're speaking with, the messages that you're giving. This is very important. And I'll give you an example to relate it, right? When you go to let's just use sports as an analogy for let's use sports as this um for this concept.

SPEAKER_01 14:45

Of course, you are a pro athlete media trainer, so why wouldn't we use sports? Well, you try to flex on it, flex on it, go on.

SPEAKER_03 14:55

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From Breakthrough To Reps: Practice Arenas

SPEAKER_04 16:00

So let's say you're in sports and you learn the fundamentals. You have a breakthrough. You have this breakthrough. There's a place that you need to practice these fundamentals so that you can see where some of your weaknesses are and your strengths are. So you're going to go to different gyms to see the level of competition so that you can practice. This is where most people get their breakthrough wrong. They think once they have their breakthrough, it should work right away. No, once you have your breakthrough, now you have to work on the muscle building for your presence. So now that you're a fundamental expert, you understand your fundamentals. Now let me practice in different gyms. Or in the speaking world, let me practice in different arenas. Should I speak at a high school? Maybe I'll speak at my local high school. Should I speak at local colleges? Maybe I'll speak at my college I graduated from. If I have a church, there are different arenas that you can speak in to practice your fundamentals. Because the more that you practice it and you record it, you can look back and see the areas that you're improving in and the areas that you would like to improve in. Now, Pete, here's the beautiful part. I have a special community that's opening up soon. I cannot give you the date on it. I will talk off-air on that because you you get you get access to it first. But this community is going to allow you to practice. And it's going to allow you to practice, practice, practice, practice as much as you can. The more reps you get in, the more familiar you get, your presence begins to elevate. Once your presence begins to elevate in a certain arena, there'll be a cap there. You can't do any anything else in that arena anymore. Which means you have to do what now, P? You have to go where.

SPEAKER_05 17:55

You have to graduate.

SPEAKER_04 17:56

You have to graduate to a different arena. So now that I'm I'm I'm doing so well in this arena and I feel like okay, I'm limited here. Now we're gonna go in this direction. But you can never go into the new arena alone. And that's where my community is gonna be involved in that. Where every time you get to a different arena or stage you're speaking at, you'll have a group of breeze and V's and P's to support you along the way. So that's what I would say to someone who just had their breakthrough and now they're like, what do I do next? You pick one place to practice what you've learned in your breakthrough. Record yourself, get game tape on yourself, right? Get footage of yourself. Go back and look at the footage. And if you have an issue with reviewing yourself, which most people may, you send it to someone like myself, or you send it to someone like Pete. Or guess what, Pete? If you have a group of ladies that you're already working with, who can you send it to?

SPEAKER_06 18:58

The gods.

SPEAKER_04 19:00

The girls. That's why it's designed in that way. Where you're out there, maybe Chris is not available, but guess what? My cohort that I w did life with, they're available. I can send this to them. And because we speak the same language, we understand the fundamentals, we have our story, powered confidence, we understand connection before content. We understand slow is pro. Right? We understand we understand three-part structures to our delivery. When I give them that game tape, they can give me great feedback right away. So that's what I would tell someone who just had their breakthrough, and maybe they don't have a support system like the way you do.

Accountability After Class And Community

SPEAKER_01 19:48

I love that. And the reason I asked this specific question is because um you did give us something to do uh uh for anybody. Well, this episode will be automatically, but we do start our challenge on November 17th, which is a Monday and it's a Faturday challenge. And I got excited looking at it. I've already started um creating my my my cover page for my because I I watched your video and when you even mentioned that you can even achieve them. I'm like, no, I'm not achieving them, and these are gonna go on my business page so that it encourages people to show up as well. But um the reason I asked this question and it it did come after you giving us that assignment, because we didn't we finished the course last week, you just didn't leave us hanging, right? You came back with still an assignment, like we're no longer in class, but you still brought in an assignment. But um most most courses you do take because these so-called coaches or gurus don't do the intimate research of placing people the right way, they just want numbers in the room, so there's never that um breakthrough after how to assist each other. And it's so true. We are constantly cheering each other out. We actually are doing a live on November 29th, 9 a.m. Eastern, and we are gonna talk about our experience and give Chris's flowers. Um, but we are gonna talk about our experience and ask each other questions, and and uh it's not only a part of honoring Chris, but this incredible journey we went through, but also it's doing our homework that Chris never gave us, but it's one of it like showing up on camera and speaking confidently and also just learning from each other from what we learned by going through this journey together. So I love that you do that, and that's why I say I can't call you a coach, because no, that's what normal coaches do. You what you do is more than just a coach. And speaking of that, I want to get into this, right? People have this way of throwing all these titles, right? Because everybody is always quick with wanting to know your title, and that's one of the things we talked in the past week about invents getting on the stage, um, the title doesn't matter. So, you as a storyteller coach, like you know, storylines, picker, storyteller, pro athletic media trainer, and me who doesn't like calling you a coach. So if you had a business card, what would it say?

SPEAKER_04 22:37

That's a great question. I'll tell you what my business card says right now.

SPEAKER_07 22:42

Chris Ward June, that's all it says.

SPEAKER_06 22:48

I love that because I feel like people get so caught up on the type choice.

SPEAKER_07 22:54

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:56

So in your business in in what you do, especially teaching us how to show up confidently on stage, but also luck itself without selling because you it's not really selling, but it's also selling if you're paying attention.

SPEAKER_04 23:12

But definitely definitely has has it in there without you knowing.

SPEAKER_06 23:16

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 23:17

Um how would you advise people who are so caught up in this title and constantly is uh hiring people because of the title? I think that's why sometimes people end up with bad reps or bad uh support system because you let the title fall you thinking they know what they are because they have a title attached.

unknown 23:45

Yeah.

Titles Don’t Matter, Communication Does

SPEAKER_04 23:46

Yeah. You know what? If I think about it, I'll have to think about let's just use one of the clients I work with. She was before she was a salon owner, she was just a human being. She was a mom. So if we just based it off her title as a mom before becoming a successful business owner, she probably wouldn't get many of the opportunities that the title of a successful business owner would get. So we we always have to focus on how we show up and how we communicate. Because there's nonverbals that remember when I talked about elevating your presence? There are non-verbals and there's different types of styles of commun communication that when you speak in a certain way make people go like this. And they can't really want they don't really know why they're doing it. They just know that how you're showing up seems premium and elevated. How you're showing up, they want to be associated with. Because there are four desires that most people have. I don't know if you know this, Pete, but there are four desires that people really first desire is status. Some people are driven by status, and that's why they make decisions to be part of brands that are already popular and trendy, because they want to be associated with what comes with being popular and trendy. That's that status-driven person. Then there's money. It's a desire, right? Money solves a lot of people's problems that they believe they have right now, and so they'll make their decisions based on will it bring me enough money to solve my problem. The next is time. Some people have money, but they don't have enough time to do the experiences that they really want to you know, to create or to participate in. Someone wants more more time with family, but they're out there working and slaving. Someone wants to provide a better life, but they have to go travel somewhere else so they don't have the quality of time that they can spend. So that's a desire. Right? And the last desire is health. Health. Some people desire to be healthier, both mind, body, and spirit. So it drives their decision making. And when you understand those desires, you start to realize how important it is to be a great communicator.

SPEAKER_07 26:18

Nonverbal as well as verbally.

SPEAKER_04 26:22

So I don't focus on titles as much. Now, here's the cool part. I let people call me whatever they believe I am to them. To some people, I am a mentor. Hey, I didn't know that about me. Let me write that down. I'm a mentor to some people. To others, I'm a coach. Hey, I'm not gonna fight if they believe I'm a coach. To others, I'm a powerful storyteller. Others, I can move a room and I'm a keynote speaker. The first time I've ever heard someone say that I was a keynote speaker was someone who gave me a chance to do a workshop at their conference. She came up to me and she said, This was great. This was so great. You probably should have been our keynote. I don't worry about the titles. I show up as myself with my message, and I can make it very clear for everyone here. If you're struggling with the title, I want you to think about this.

SPEAKER_07 27:20

You need one talk, one delivery style with a promise involved in it, and one framework.

SPEAKER_04 27:31

I'll say it again. One talk, which is a message, one delivery style, okay, one delivery style, right, with with a promise.

SPEAKER_07 27:43

It has to have a promise in there. And then the last one, what did I say, Pete? What was the last one? And one framework.

SPEAKER_04 27:57

And all framework is is the way that you do what you do even when the pressure is on.

unknown 28:08

Right.

SPEAKER_04 28:09

So you do that, you will not have to worry about titles. It'll come to you. Eventually, the audit, your audience, your community, they will give you your nickname, they will give you your title. Embrace it, have fun with it. But most importantly, just show it for people. The titles don't really matter as much as you think it does.

The Four Core Desires That Drive Audiences

SPEAKER_01 28:28

Thank you. I tell this to people all the time because I don't think I've ever had a title, to be honest. And maybe that's why I come from that. I don't care about the title. And um, a lot of people in my life will say, like, I have friends from all the way to the top to on the way to the bottom. Like, I don't care if we connect, we connect. Like, I don't care what you do. And that's the thing. Like, if uh and I believe I think it comes from my podcast as well, talk show with me. I've always just concentrated on connecting with people and creating a safe space. So I just have conversations, and then the next thing I know, oh, you do this, like, but that wasn't the first thing that came to mind. Like that some people I spend months knowing them, but I also don't know what they actually do or who how big they're in there, whatever they're doing, and then until somebody points it out, and I'm like, oh shit, actually I've known them for this month, but I because I never care. I care more about the person you are and um and all that.

SPEAKER_04 29:34

So he that's important right there. That's important, right? The first time I ever heard someone tell me that I was a pro athlete media trainer, it didn't actually come for me. I was in uh soccer uh with my son. Dads are talking to each other, and one of the dad goes, Hey, you know, he's a he's a pro athlete media trainer, he media trains pro. Athletes. He goes, Whoa, what did you start doing? I'm like, hold on. I've never told anyone that I was a pro-athlete media trainer a day in my life. However, when you have that one.

One Talk, One Style, One Framework

SPEAKER_01 30:13

And that's the thing, I feel like the best titles come when they're given them when you go searching for them or trusting them on yourself, like you know, because it means so much more. Because that's how that person sees you, and you can't take that away from them. If they see you as that, let them see you as that. And just like you say you were shocked when somebody sees you as a mentor or not, but to me, you are you are my mentor, like um uh and and I say this all the time like that, I have breakfast crap, you Dominic Chris, I think you Dominic and Walter are all my my my mentors. If people knew where I was last year in November and where I am this year in November emotionally, and like if it wasn't for you guys and the constant cheering on, the constant um directness, whether when I do wrong, like the way it's presented to me, when I'm doing right, when I'm congratulating, when I'm seeing like all those things matter the feedback, the love, the support. So you are my mentor and should never feel shocked when somebody feels that. But I understand because when I went to podcast last year and somebody stood there and said, I'm here and my podcast is doing right because of Paula, she's my mentor. I was shocked. I was like, I didn't think I would ever be somebody's mentor, but who am I to take it from him if that's how it feels? And just because I I support him and show up for him and share resources and all that. So thank you for being a mentor. And speaking of that, which I did say from last year, November to this year, um, we have known each other for quite a while now. I remember the first time I met you, but I don't know if you're gonna remember this, so we're gonna test you. So I'm gonna ask the main question that I asked in season 10. Um, your first impression when you met me, which you're gonna share also when we met, and then now that you have gotten to know me, your impression of you now drops.

SPEAKER_04 32:29

Oh my goodness. Here we go. Here we go.

SPEAKER_07 32:33

Uh Baltimore. I want to say it's was it two years ago or three years?

SPEAKER_01 32:41

Two years.

SPEAKER_04 32:42

Two years ago. Afro's an audio.

SPEAKER_01 32:44

I'm thinking three now, because this will be the third, this will be the third one we missed. So we are going to three years now. Three years.

SPEAKER_04 32:52

Look at that. That's time flies. Baltimore Afro is an audio podcasting event. Hotel lobby came through with an energy and a spotlight without cameras following her. Energy. Now she was on some, she was on that thing thing. I ain't gonna tell you what that thing thing was. She was on that thing thing. She was feeling good. She was feeling good that night. You know. But you're but your presence, your presence was phenomenal because what uh you decided to do, even when you was on that thing thing, you connected.

SPEAKER_07 33:37

But complete strangers.

SPEAKER_06 33:39

I'm like, what the hotel lobby.

SPEAKER_04 33:44

And they was giving out more of that thing thing on the side. I remember that too. They had little cups for for us to have. I ain't tell you about that because I didn't think you need any.

SPEAKER_01 33:59

So I don't know if you guys were talking about your presentation, I guess, but I interrupted that.

SPEAKER_04 34:05

What's crazy about that is that was our that was the first time Walter and I had met in person.

SPEAKER_06 34:11

Oh yeah, look at that.

SPEAKER_04 34:16

Shout out to Walter, Walter Gain in the second, and Dominic Lawson. Shout out to them. Um yeah, meaning Walter, but you back to you. You spotlighted, you stood out, and your energy was welcoming and inviting. It was be yourself. That's was my first initial reaction to seeing you. And I was kind of blown away. I'm like, nah, she's like okay, okay. And years later, as we begin to really understand each other, I can see why you were that way. It's because there's not a negative, bad bone in your body, you show up for people even when they don't show up for you. You care for people, even when you don't get it back in return. You want the best for people, even when they're not thinking about you. And what's most powerful about you is not just that you help people connect, but you help them take off the walls that they have. The these these spiritual walls that they have on them, these limitations that they have in their mind, you help them take that off by just your presence and you showing up for them. And so I knew that I would be a part of your circle. I wasn't thinking you would be part of mine. I just said, let me be a part of her circle because people like her are very rare to these days where they actually want people to win. So you're amazing.

SPEAKER_01 35:58

I mean, who wouldn't want to be in streaming at Chris's circle?

SPEAKER_07 36:03

Here we go. There we go.

SPEAKER_01 36:04

It's funny because we're recording on streaming.

SPEAKER_04 36:14

I'm gonna get you for that one.

First Impressions And Connection Over Status

SPEAKER_01 36:18

Um we're gonna um jump into this final session, which I call it Rapid Fire.

SPEAKER_07 36:25

Let's do it.

SPEAKER_01 36:26

So don't overthink it um real quick. Um a book and story that changed you since your story tell.

SPEAKER_04 36:35

Wow, a book and story that changed me. I've I've read a lot of books. I will focus on uh the story of I'll make it easy. If you've never seen the movie The Count of Monte Cristo, I would say uh go go watch it with uh guy Perry and I think Jim Cavizel. And this uh story is someone who is uh betrayed by his uh friend. But uh the betrayal part is not the part that really impacted me. It's the part that he was this uh gullible, non-educated person who didn't experience the world and was going to be in prison for the rest of his life for something he did not do. But in his circumstance, he found a mentor. In his circumstance, he became educated. And when he was able to escape that prison, a transformation. He looked like a completely new person, and the people who once knew him couldn't see it. That's how much of a shift and difference. If you ha this movie is really old, so if you haven't seen this movie, like please go see. I don't want to tell the whole story, but The Count of Monte Cristo uh was a a a powerful story that definitely impacted me.

SPEAKER_07 38:12

As for books, books like 19 uh no, I won't say that one.

SPEAKER_04 38:20

I will say books like Lord of the Flies, I would say books like Endergame, uh I would say I just I just would read anime, mangas, I I stories.

SPEAKER_01 38:38

I've been seeing on the on on the threads, okay.

SPEAKER_04 38:41

Yeah, so don't I overthink that that's supposed to be rapid fire, my bad.

SPEAKER_01 38:45

Okay, I know, right? A talk that made you cry.

SPEAKER_04 38:49

A talk that made me cry?

SPEAKER_01 38:51

Mm-hmm. Have you ever listened to a talk or watched the talk, whether it was a TED Talk or uh an interview that just made you crash?

SPEAKER_04 39:04

Yeah, Rapid Fire. So I can't think of any talks right now, but I did see something today. And to what I saw today was a man trying to help someone on the spectrum who was homeless.

SPEAKER_07 39:20

And just the person who was on the spectrum who was homeless, his response to being helped brought me to tears.

SPEAKER_04 39:32

Because even in his terrible circumstance he only talked talked about what he needed versus what he wanted. And I just yeah, that warm up. So that's what I said.

SPEAKER_01 39:50

And like what you want is just greediness, because it's not something you really need. I love that.

Rapid Fire: Stories, Tears, And Bad Advice

SPEAKER_04 40:02

Oh, best speaking advice I've ever been given is. Oh, worse. Oh, okay. I'll give you the word. Oh, the worst speaking advice I was ever given. Oh my goodness. It's a lot of it. A lot of lot of advice. So to picture the crowd naked, terrible advice. I tried it, it was really bad. I froze for real, for real. Number two, to memorize my script. Terrible advice. Number three, tell the crowd you're nervous. For what? Because you're nervous. Tell the crowd you're nervous. No, no, no. It's terrible advice. Oh no, we oh no, we're gonna keep going. No, we're gonna keep going. Uh what's another terrible but you can see that was the best advice.

SPEAKER_01 40:56

So let's see if the best advice, because you got excited when it was the best advice you've ever been given.

SPEAKER_04 41:02

Yes. So I when it comes to talks, right? The best advice I was ever given was by this amazing beautiful woman uh named Kim.

SPEAKER_07 41:16

My mother. God rest her soul, she said understand the rules, learn the rules, then find a way to break them, put them back together, and that's where you live.

SPEAKER_04 41:36

And I didn't understand it at first, but what she was really trying to say is everyone is gonna tell you that this is the technical way to speak. This is what professionals sound like. But when you find your voice, there are pockets that they can't go that you can. So that stays in the back of my mind when I'm teaching and I'm educating. That's why we focus on finding your story first. Because if I just give you my way of doing it, everyone can't do it my way because it's my pocket.

SPEAKER_00 42:13

Exactly.

SPEAKER_04 42:14

I'm gonna help you find your pocket so that you can deliver it your way.

SPEAKER_06 42:18

I love that. Shout out to Mama Keeper Swing Peace.

SPEAKER_01 42:25

Um I hope it that keeps your creativity honest. Because let's be real, in this creative world, it's so easy for creators to sell out because the some of them, I mean, we are all hungry, but there's some who are hungry in a different way where um an ethical, and there's some who are hungry, but they still protect their authenticity, their proudness of that they don't sell out. So, what is a habit that keeps your creativity honest?

SPEAKER_04 43:01

A habit that keeps my creativity honest, and it's and it's a very simple one. I take a walk every day and I try to hit my 10,000 steps. But while I'm doing my 10,000 steps, I talk about topics that I care about and I record myself just to get my thoughts out. I'm not looking at anyone else's thoughts on it. I'm not looking at what the trends are, just what my thoughts are. Because a lot of times we forget to listen to ourselves. We'll go to someone else first before we actually understand what we are trying to tell ourselves. So that keeps me in tune with my voice. That's number one. Number two, if it's not part of my value system, I'm most likely not going to do it. Yeah. So if it if it doesn't keep me authentic, if it doesn't keep me, if it's not aligned with it, if it takes over someone else, if it takes advantage of someone else so I can, you know, proceed with with success, nine times out of ten, I won't do it. So yeah, it's it's one of those things where I don't want to be intentionally breaking other people down so that I can win. Yeah, I believe there's win-win situations for everyone, but if you don't understand your pocket, you'll never know that.

SPEAKER_06 44:29

I love that. Um is that true?

SPEAKER_01 44:32

And not to put Walter's business on the street, but me and Walter both both recently let grow clients to to save our peace. And um, as much as we need the money, the difference I'll be like, oh my god, it's okay, clients I'll take the money back. I was like, yo, my peace is better than I feel like a part of my soul was losing working with this client, and I was like, as much as I need the money. Not all money is good money, okay?

SPEAKER_04 45:01

That's facts. That's facts. I've been I've been in that situation where I was working with a client, and I'm like, why the hell did I say yes to this?

Best Advice: Learn Rules, Then Bend Them

SPEAKER_06 45:09

Why the hell did I say yes to this?

SPEAKER_01 45:13

I feel like if you're gonna be a client to stress me, you must be paying a lot of money, not change. If you're giving me change, you're not allowed to stress me. I'm sorry, not sorry. But also, um, Chris with this recording himself, uh, I know I've shared it somewhere, but most people might not know. A project I've been working on, which I wanted to come up this year, but um, again, you guys allowed me to get out of my head and just take my time with it and release it when the time is right. But that project was inspired with Chris and recording itself last November. I remember October, November, I was going through a hard time, and you gave me that advice of record yourself, share your person, listen to yourself, and it turned out into a creative book journal podcast series, which I'm excited and I've been watching.

SPEAKER_04 46:11

But you better support this when this comes out. You better support this.

SPEAKER_01 46:14

It's called Shuttered Mirrors, and you've talked about just just like um Miss Kim said you gotta uh break the rules, and then it's like we are breaking those mirrors to put them together, not because they don't need to be perspective, so you kind of need to see your cracks and love the cracks that are there.

SPEAKER_04 46:36

So uh, and it's helped to get to that's how they do it. They do they do it like this? Let's go. I hear you.

SPEAKER_01 46:45

Okay, um, so last rapid fire question. Um I I literally shared a bit about protecting my peace, and that's one boundary with me and my company. So, what's the boundary you protect, not just for your mental health, but also in your work? Like you say, even with our co-hard, you you did intense speaking of people. So you put a lot of thought and effort in that. So, what are some of the boundaries that you do to protect yourself and your work?

SPEAKER_04 47:16

Oh, that's a great question. I let people sell themselves, I don't sell to them. That's a boundary that I put in. Because if you feel like the only reason you decided to work with me is because I convinced you, then that all falls on me. Whereas if you convince yourself that this is what you want to do, then we can work together. And that's that's a boundary I needed to put in. Why am I saying that? Because my background in sales taught me how to overcome objections. And the more you overcome objections, you know, you can sell to people and make money and all that. And I needed to protect my energy with that because that could be very draining. Another aspect is my calendar. I started protecting my calendar more. Where my weekends are actually very rarely where I very rarely I will meet with someone on the weekend. That's quality time with my son, my wife, my oldest, my dog Simba, who's knocked out right now.

SPEAKER_01 48:17

Yes, we love Simba. I was expecting him to make an appearance. You know, my dads agree with some stuff over here.

Habits, Boundaries, And Saying No

SPEAKER_04 48:26

He is K'd right now, so um, so protecting my calendar. And the last part, uh, which is what we're gonna be doing on the 17th, is I know this is a weird one, but participating in what you're teaching your cohort or your members or your community. The reason why that's important is you can always learn something new, and you can always gain new energy by putting up the boundary of becoming an expert. I never want to feel like I'm the expert in the room. I always want to feel like I'm the person that's learning and developing and being refined, and I just want to be an enthusiast. So that's the boundary that I I incorporated in my mental state. You're an enthusiast, you're a tour, you're a guide. You're not an expert. Experts feel like they've learned it all. You haven't learned it all. So let's have fun with this. Let's like you can have fun even when you are teaching and guiding. So weird boundary, but it helps.

SPEAKER_06 49:36

Yeah, I love that.

SPEAKER_01 49:37

And that's why I think to me, you're more than just a coach because the fact the fact that you're also participating, oh, we've got some days, like no offense, but I really want to crush it. So I feel really paying attention to those um incredible ways of how to not just do the homework but make it fun, but also in a way that I can learn about myself in in a different aspect. And that's why I love it. I was reading the the prompts, and I was like, oh, this is gonna be fun to do. This is gonna be fun to do. So I am excited, I can't wait for next week. Um, so as we wrap up, right, and speaking um, speaking about our quote and what I've experienced uh with you, is um your feedback is both direct and compassionate. So how do you know when to push and when to hold space? Because I feel like a lot of people miss that the line in between, and I feel like I can also learn because I'm very sarcastic. So sometimes, even though I feel people tell me either I'm being mean, I've been taught I've been mean sometimes because I just can be very direct without um being compassionate, if that makes sense. But in my head, I I feel like I've been compassionate, but the person who's reading it on the other hand doesn't feel that way. But you have you have somehow made us seem and I feel like that's why when whenever you put us on hot seats, it didn't matter because um even how you corrected us or um taught us it was direct and compassionate, even the way feedback was coming from our own peers wasn't in a in a malice way, but in a way of trying to make get ourselves better, like if that makes sense.

Direct Yet Compassionate Feedback Method

SPEAKER_04 51:33

Yeah, yeah, that's a that's a great question. It it took me a little while to learn how to do this. So I will first say the key trait or the key skill that everyone should learn is active listening. Not very not listening, but active listening. And the difference between the two is active listening is looking for key points to connect the dots without your ego in mind. Like there are a lot of people that will listen to what your problems are and they already have a solution for you and how you should have done it and how you could do it. When I'm listening to you, I'm just listening to you because this might be your very first time ever sharing this with anyone, and I'm honored that I'm the person that you're actually sharing it with. So what I do is when you tell me something, I acknowledge it by sharing it back to you in a way that I believe it's being I'm receiving it. And a lot of times when you do that, people are like, wow. Yes, that you actually said it better than the way I was trying to say it. So active listening. That's the first step. The second step is actually this is really, really interesting, but the second step is positive reinforcement of what that person has done well. Even if they didn't get it fully correct. So I'm actively listening and now I'm giving positive reinforcement. You know what, Paula? I saw you caught yourself and you slow is pro. You that's how you do it, girl. That's what I'm talking about. I I noticed that you took your time and you did it. Let me let me guess. There were your your thoughts were going really fast and you started to speak really fast. And then that's the part where we're trying to let you know what the problem was. But I'm not telling you you don't do that. I'm telling you, oh, we're acknowledging. Yeah. You know what, Paula, if that ever happens, I want you to think about your story. When you think about your story with your grandfather, right? I want you to think about the wisdom he gave you. I can only do that if I'm actively listening first. Then the positive reinforcement of what you did well. And letting you know, I kind of figure that this was the problem of why it caused it. But if you ever come across this problem again, use what's inside of you already. Use what you shared with me. The wisdom from your grandfather. Or the wisdom from what Brie said to you last week or what V said to you today. I'm never making it as if I have all the answers. I'm letting you know the answers are actually inside of you, but take the time to look.

SPEAKER_07 54:20

Be aware.

SPEAKER_04 54:22

So I'll go over it again. For those who are writing this down right now, active listening, positive reinforcement, acknowledge what you believe the problem to be. Right. And make sure they're aware that the solution is in their story. And that's what I do on a daily basis. So when you're in my cohort, it doesn't feel like I'm talking down to you. It feels like I'm walking with you.

SPEAKER_01 54:52

And I believe I also had to forward to land the active listening. I remember even when my friends started reaching out, wanting to talk, I would normally text them back before I jump on a call with them. I'm like, are you looking to vent? Are you looking for advice? Because I used to get straight up into advice mode, like, you should do this, but and then I realized that sometimes when I I'm calling people, I don't want advice. Like sometimes I already know what I need to do, but I just want to vent. I just want to let it out. So I had to learn to just also put that boundary, make sure that when I jump on a call, I'm providing that to that person. Oh, you just want to bend, then I just shut up and just listen to you vent. If you want advice, then I'm really paying attention to every detail so that I can know how to advise or uh protect you. So it did take a lot of practice and therapy. So shut up to therapy. Um as we come to an end, Chris. Um, I'm gonna say thank you so much for hanging out with me. Thank you for allowing me to be part of the fast cohort of the story, for much confidence. And speaking of that, um let the people know how they can reach you and if there's a new new cohort coming up, when it's coming up, how for those interested in being part of it, how can they reach out to be part of that? Because, yeah, after you listen to the live maybe and we are gonna do, which is gonna be on the November 29th, 9 a.m. Eastern time, you are going to wanna join this cohort. Because I swore I would never do any more speaking gigs after this year. But Chris is this co-hort has helped me see that it's not that I was scared of the stage, it's just I didn't know how to confidently show up on the stage, no matter what I was talking about. So it's an incredible opportunity, and I'm so grateful that I'm going to be part of it.

SPEAKER_05 57:04

So yeah.

SPEAKER_07 57:06

Wow. Just want to take a moment to st to allow that to sink in. Thank you. I want to say thank you. I I really do appreciate that. To follow me, uh communicate with me, connect with me. It's at Chris Ward Jr. on all platforms.

SPEAKER_04 57:26

Chris Ward Jr. on all platforms. And I wanna uh if you're listening and you you got to the end of this, one, we appreciate you being here. That's amazing. Um, thank you. You didn't have to stay, but you did. Number two, uh, the cohort opens back up in January. But applications and the wait list starts December 1st. So here's what I'm going to do, Paula. For anyone that is hearing this now, if you reach out to me now, I will get you on that wait list early so you can apply before anyone else gets it in the public December 1st.

SPEAKER_07 58:06

But here's what you have to be doing. You have to be following P on her platform.

How To Reach Chris And Apply Early

SPEAKER_04 58:15

You have to be following me, and you have to send me a DM. And this is what the DM just has to say. Who you are and why you want to join. As long as you do that, who you are, why you want to join, or at least apply. I can't tell you that you're going to be a sure end. All I can tell you is that once you apply and I get your information, I'll see all of the applications and I will do my best because you follow P to put you in a category that's a little bit ahead of everyone else that's in the public. Um, because I know the type of people she attracts and I know the type of people she supports. So that's what you have to do. Follow P, follow me, shoot me a DM, and I'll try to get you the application before the first. Remember, it's only four. I think this this time we may do five, but four seats for sure. It's limited. Once the time block is there, it's done, it's closed. You have to wait till either the next time block or you have to wait for the next time the cohort's being offered. Um, but we protect each other, we protect our time. It is a sacred and safe space. Everybody knows that. And when we share what we share there, it is truly uh one of the most valuable uh experiences that I've ever been a part of. And it's not because I'm teaching it, it's because I get a front row seat to watch people like P and Bree and V share what's so amazing inside of them. And I hope you will be one of them people as well.

SPEAKER_07 59:52

I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_01 59:54

Y'all don't say I don't give you all nothing because this is some shit, so Don't sleep on this opportunity, I swear. Now, Chris, final question because um I'm just curious and this is gonna be a quick one. How is it to not only be known but to also work as a pro-accept media trainer?

Pro Athlete Media Training And What’s Next

SPEAKER_03 1:00:16

Like okay, listen up, y'all. I'm about to give y'all a great ass tip, okay? Y'all know I barely read my DMs and God don't get me started on tracking my links. But now I'm lucky organized, and you wanna know why? You wanna know what the secret is? Stamp it social. Stamp it social, it's like um if Instagram, Linktree, and your favorite social media intern had a baby, but with boundaries and vibes, lots of vibes, you get a full dashboard that tracks what people are actually clicking on. Now, wouldn't you like to know that? Like I do, and I enjoy it. I've been obsessed with it. Like for once I know which post made your run to my link and which ones flopped harder than my ex's mixtape. Sorry. Plus, here's a kicker. Get this right? There's a seven-day free trial because we don't do commitments without a test drive, y'all. And if you're feeling spicy, or should I say extra spicy, use code POLA20. Yes, that's P-A-U-L-A 20 for 20% of a plan every month for life. Yes, forever, ever, ever, ever, forever, ever, ever. So if you're a content creator, podcaster, or just tired of shouting into the void, go check out Stamped Social because your content deserves better than linking bio with zero context. Again, that's Paula20 P A U L A 20. Because I love you, but I love organized chaos even more. Don't say I didn't tell you, don't say I didn't share, don't say I didn't give you the good good. Don't come back to me complaining because it's right there. Go on now. Go get your seven-day free try. Thank me later.

SPEAKER_04 1:02:18

Life is good there. I I did not think I would be doing that again. Right? Someone heard me speak, and we developed a relationship, and over the years she kept witnessing me and my work and my value. Not my title, my value that I was bringing to the table, my insight, and she offered me an opportunity, and I took it, and it's been amazing. I get to work with some of the best players from all over the world. I've I've worked with Japanese players, I work with players from the Dominican Republic, Venezuela. It's been amazing. And to see that one of my players right now is a starting, is a is a pitcher for well for the uh the A's right now is just amazing. And to hear his story and how he's gonna be changing his life is is phenomenal. So yeah, I love I love doing what I do, and I know it's not gonna just be in that specific sport.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:20

Soccer, I'm coming from what you know what cup is next year, rest your time. Go and then hold on.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:29

Don't let my son hear that because he said soccer. Who are you? I taught you better than that, dad. Football. I apologize.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:35

True, as an African people, we cancel me for saying soccer because what the hell is soccer? It's football.

SPEAKER_04 1:03:41

It's football. My my son, yeah, hope he doesn't see this because he would definitely destroy me.

SPEAKER_01 1:03:45

So we're gonna scratch that. Football, one cop is coming next year, so I'm excited about that. All right, Chris. I love you so much. Thank you for spending an hour with me. Um, let me take this quick picture over here. Hold on one minute.

SPEAKER_06 1:04:05

I want to please all right, thank you so much, and see you in the challenge.

SPEAKER_04 1:04:12

I'll see you in the challenge on Monday. All right, let's get it.

SPEAKER_02 1:04:16

Thank you, Ship Talkers, for tuning in and spending your valuable time with us. We appreciate you. To connect with us more, make sure you subscribe to our newsletter and catch all the shit talking vibes before anybody else. You can subscribe to my newsletter through our website www.toxitwipp.com and on our merchandise website www.toxitwiftp.show. And while you're there, feel free to shop away. Toxic With P is available on all social media platforms with the handle Toxicwifty. Follow us and engage with us. Better yet, if you're feeling generous, give us a review on Apple Podcasts and or rate us on Spotify. You can also share a beer with me with my beer lovers at. I mean, what better way to support the movement than sharing a beer with me by buying me a beer at buymekoffee.com. Thank you for listening, sharing, engaging and support in any way that you do. Remember, new episodes are out every Wednesday and for part two, it's any on Fridays. Let's talk and I'll listen to some shit. Happy TikTokin!