Gardening Fails and High School Tales: Laughing Our Way to Confidence! with Bill Birlidis

 In this week’s episode of the Casa DeConfidence Podcast, I am honored to introduce you to our first male guest. 

 As I made up my mind to include gentleman in my guest list, I immediately knew who I wanted to be the first male on the show other than #handsomehothusband. 

My guest is someone I have known for over 30 years. (Yes, I am that old).
V.C. Birlidis OR Bill and I attended high school at Miami Palmetto Sr. High, home of the Panthers.  Palmetto HS also boasts of having other notable alumni: Jeff Bezos – founder of Amazon.com, Ketanji Brown Jackson – U.S. Supreme Court justice, Camila Cabello Grammy-nominated singer, Alan Campos – former professional football player, Dallas Cowboys.

​In this episode of "The Confidence Podcast," host Julie DeLucca-Collins and her co-host share a fun and nostalgic conversation about their high school memories, favorite teachers, and personal anecdotes. They welcome special guest Bill Birlidis, who joins in to reminisce about their French class and discuss his gardening adventures. Julie humorously shares her gardening struggles, while Bill offers practical advice. The episode is filled with laughter, heartfelt stories, and engaging discussions about friendship, personal growth, and the joys of everyday life. Julie's warm and friendly tone makes listeners feel like they're catching up with an old friend.

 If you want to connect with VC, you can do so on the socials: 

Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/VcBirlidis

https://www.facebook.com/Dr-Sebastian-Brackenridge-Gayest-Man-in-the-United-Kingdom-Knows-it-all-113668630343794

Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/46ceAagpNeReiSZuT00ihV

iTunes: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/pod

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Transcript

0:01

Hello. Hey, Julie. How are you doing today? Welcome me back. Welcome back. I got my wife back. I got my wife back. Well, not so much. Well, not so much. We're sitting the long way on the desk today. Because there needs to be six feet between the twixt of us. The twixt of us? Yeah. I was trying to be fancy. Mm. Listen, it's been a long time since we've been together. 13 more days. Did you notice I put those in the calendar and big numbers? I counted down for it. Yeah, but you never look at the calendar, so. I don't look at the calendar. Either the paper or the Google. God bless America. Google. Mm. Guess what I'm drinking. You're drinking the same thing. I'm drinking. Cheers. Julia, what are you drinking today? I'm drinking some Merlot. Oh, that's very good. Fancy. Cheers. Cheers. Ooh! Fancy glasses. Hey, I got these glasses for my 40th birthday. Oh, yeah. Was that, like, 20 years ago? Screw you. They're ten years old. Dumb ass. Sorry. So, my God. And this is my first glass of wine. I'm already calling you a dumbass. I love you. I missed you so much. Oh. You too. You know what? I really also missed a lot. Your dogs. No. My bed. Oh, and all my products. You know, it's hard to travel without, like, all your accoutrements that you need. Like. But all the listeners know you had your unicorn milk. I know, well, you know how that came about. Um, she got a little blister on her foot from wearing her Crocs because my sister bought her Crocs, which, you know, I have opinions on that. But anyhow, she got a little blister and she was crying and she was like, oh, I know how to dance. And I said, you know what I have? I have unicorn milk. And then she's like, you do? I said, yeah, it makes everything better. And I went to put it on her. And then I thought, well, wait a minute, what is what can I use for unicorn milk? So of course I used my Josie Moran milk, which, you know. Kind of milk is Josie Moran milk. It's argan oil, which is not cheap. It's oil. No, it's like a milky substance. It's delightful for your skin, but, you know, it's certainly not what you want to be putting on a seven year old's foot, but, you know, it's my knees. What can I tell you? If my other nieces would like some unicorn milk, I would provide that for them too. Oh. Very nice. That's right. Anyhow, um. Hey, you want a little trivia? Okay. Are we practicing? When we were going back to trivia night. Oh, yeah. I'd like to go back to trivia. So. Quarantines over? Well. Not quarantine. Whatever. Julie. Julie. Julie. So I was born in 1971. Mm. On this day in 1971, you know what happened? Oh, please enlighten me. Why not. On February? Oh, that's not this day. That's not this. Day. Oh, why? Wow. It's all a lie today. Okay, so in 1971. Wow. I'm just. I just want to make sure, you know, we're in July. I am the same age, almost as the Nasdaq Composite Stock Market Index, which debuted with 50 companies in a starting value of 100. Mm. That's nice for them. I know. You know what else happened in 1971? Oh. Enlighten me. Henry Kissinger visited the People's Republic of China. Oh, I knew that. I knew that I knew. The negotiated detente between the US and China. And China. I took that in world history. Mr. Fairey was his name. History teacher. I don't know of any Palmetto graduates. Remember Mr. Fairey. He was bald. He was boring. But I passed the class. It was an AP history class. I passed that with a B, which really was an A because it was weighted. I loved history, you know, my my history. Teacher's name in high school was Mr. Haskell. Mm. Yeah. And I actually my senior year because he, he was big on doing bonus questions and I, I got. I almost thought you were gonna say boner. Sorry. 13 days. Um. Anyway, so. I actually. Got. I actually got a perfect score in history that year. Good for you. Is actually, like, out of 100%. I got like 110% or something silly like that. But I ended up going to Boise State that year. Interesting. Oh, no. Junior year is Boise State. I had him junior and senior year. So I have a question for you in Connecticut, because in Miami or in Florida, rather, you had to take a what was it? Hold on. It was civics for ninth grade. 10th grade was American history. Was it American? Yes, 11th grade. Or maybe I have that all turned around. I don't know, I don't remember because. Oh, no. Economics and government were in 12th grade. I know that because Mr. Beverley was my teacher. How do I remember these names. I love Mr. Beverly. He was a teacher that was a lawyer first and decided to be a teacher. And he was fabulous. I liked him. Well, he made his mock stock and I bought motel eight, Nike, and I was killing it. Wow. Very nice. I know. So what year did you graduate high school, Julie? We are awesome. We are great. Senior class of 88. Am I a mom? I myself graduated in 89. So 89 was the year. What the hell for me? The what the hell year? Yeah. That was your year off? No, that was my year of like, what the hell? Why don't you do. It's 89. Hey, a lot of talk about high school today. A lot of talk about high school today. I wonder why. Well, I'm going to be honest. I don't have Mr. Fairy or Mr. Beverly on today, but I do have. Oh my gosh. Okay. He was one of the first people I met in high school. My high school did not start in ninth grade. Our high school in Miami would begin in 10th grade. And he I walked in the room sort of like a movie. Don't be jealous. But it was like a movie. I walked into room 701. I remember this, and I thought it would be a lucky number for me. And it was French class, and I was ready to learn French because I was moving to France and find a French lover. This was all in my brain at that point. And I looked. Across. I'm gonna find a French lover in Miami. Oh my gosh, I don't know what I was thinking, I was. I was 15 anyway. I walked into French class and I saw this guy, and he was really cute. And I was like, oh, let me go sit next to him. And I'm like, hello? And we were sitting toward the back and with the way that our teacher had set up the room is sort of like, um, I don't know, kind of like what we did at our wedding with, like, the tables and I mean, the desk all along the wall. And there was like a big space in the middle. Does that make sense? Like a horseshoe of sorts. Except it was square. Not not round anyhow. So we were toward the side back. We were all the way in the back. And Monsieur Nasser, our teacher, who? Monsieur Nasser. Nasser, Mr. Nasser. The French. Teacher. The French teacher. Um. And I wonder we might upset. He might have, like, sat us down to like I sat next to Bill because, well, you know, he looked cute, and I thought, oh, upperclassmen cute. Let me sit next to him. And then I, um. I think we ended up sitting together anyway because we were alphabetical order, and I was d and he was B. B is a boy. I found a perfect companion for class and someone that we laughed with tremendously in class, and he was just delightful. And we had a lot in common. We would really talk a lot during French. Needless to say, I mean, I got a B, maybe a C, and no, I got to be in French. I didn't get a C, but yeah, it was a fun class for sure. And all these years, you know, we were connected through Facebook, blah blah blah blah blah blah. Um, he is still amazing, still funny. We still laugh a lot and he's doing some really great, phenomenal things. And I have been a fan of everything that he does. Um, he is of Greek descent and at the time. Bilitis. Bilitis? Yes. At the time, I was taking Greek mythology. So he was awesome to talk to. And, uh, he really was just a fun friend to have in high school, for sure. And I just loved him. And he was a big personality then and now. And he's got a wonderful heart. He has so much charisma and sensitivity toward the world. And he's an artist. Um, so yeah, so I loved having this conversation with him, and I was so honored that he visited. All right, so without further ado, Julie DeLuca, Collins and Bill Burr, ladies. Welcome to the cast of The Confidence Podcast, a podcast for women about going in a direction of their dreams and the confidence it takes to reach them. I'm your host, Julie DeLuca. Collins. I am a dreamer, a traveler, visionary, risk taker. I am a lover of books, activist, philanthropist, and most of all, a supporter of women in their dreams. If you stumble into our casa for the first time, welcome. If you've been here before. I'm so glad you're back. Grab your drink of choice. Settle in and make yourself at home. How is your weekend? Did you have a good weekend? Yes I did. As a matter of fact, I got some writing done. Oh, that's very nice. Yeah. And then, um, a bunch of of garden stuff, which made me break out in a heat rash because I'm delicate. I hate it, I just hate. I worked in the in the. I wouldn't call it a garden. I'm going to call it the wild outdoors because I am not a gardener. And I, you know, I went to I went to the store to pick up some new, uh, victims or plants that some people may call them, but for me, they're victims. Oh, I like pretty colors and flowers. I just can't seem to keep them alive. I can't. So someone asked me earlier what they were, and I thought, um, so begonias, I know begonias. I got a couple of those, and then the other one, um, I got them every year, and God forbid, I should remember what they're called, but they're pretty. Yeah. Geraniums. How did you know? Well, because those are, like, the stereotypical things that most people get for their. For their garden. Let me just let me just offer some advice? Yes, please. Annuals. Perennials. Just get perennials. Because I don't know the difference between the annuals and the perennials. And every time I'm at the store. Yeah, but every time I go to the store, I'm like, which ones am I supposed to get? The perennials, the annuals? I don't know, all these. These are the pretty ones. Okay. Yeah. I mean, because literally I very rarely buy annuals. Okay. I don't put them in the ground. They just go in pots. Right, right right. Okay. Oh, okay. If they're just going in pots, then, I mean, then annuals are fine. It's just that, you know, I mean like for because we've got I mean, it's it's not it's definitely not anywhere close to an acre. But you know, our lot is fairly big, you know, in comparison to like lots in New York City or what have you. And so there's a lot of places where I've like, done all these gardens which are just chock full of perennials. Um, just simply because I because I just don't want to deal with having to plant them over and over again. They're just such a nightmare. So the perennials okay. And for me, perennials are like if I were to put them in the ground, does that mean they're going to come back next year. And I don't have to think about it okay. Yeah. All right. So that's what I'm going to do. Um, so I planted and I don't know if they're perennials or not. Um, but it's a popular flower that people plant, and it comes back every year. It has never bloomed for me in five years since I put it on the ground, but it was pretty when I bought it, and it was lovely. It had these pink flowers and it comes in pink and blue and I really don't know what it is. It's like popular I, and I can't remember the name and I'm you know what? I should show you a picture of what it looks like because it's in the very prominent corner of the front of the house, because I thought, this is going to grow to be beautiful. It's going to like sort of flanked by two windows. And as people drive by my main road, because I live in a main road. People are going to admire it and say, how lovely is this? However, it is a dead piece of just stick coming up from the ground. So it's it's embarrassing. But no, I mean, I mean, I've got I mean, like, do you have a lot of light or no light at all? So our house faces south, which is south facing, which is lovely. And then we get some of the morning sun. The afternoon sun now. I'll tell you, I have planted roses. Died. Never came from like, the little stump. Then I also planted, uh, peonies. And then come to find out, my husband was out of town when I did this. Come to find out that I had planted them upside down, so that was never going to grow. I do have azaleas in the front because we went to the garden center for one of my birthdays and I said, look, I would like flowers. I would like color. I want to plant them outside, not worry about them. So the guy recommended the azaleas and they're beautiful in color. But number one, they bloom and then they're gone. Well, yeah, they're they're a spring. It's a spring. Bush is what. It's like done. It's like a bush. It doesn't do me any, any favors at all. And then like, there's no way to shape it. And it's like, all overgrown. It's terrible. I really need to get someone to come and say, okay, plant this. Because you know what? My dream garden would be one of those, like, English gardens. Yes, absolutely. You know me. That's what my. That's what my garden is based off of. So. Okay. Say, this. Is why we're. We're we're so, so well in tune with each other. And we were friends, so. Yeah. Like, right now I'm looking at, Um. So I. We have a pond. It's ten by ten. It's about 4.5ft deep at its deepest. Okay. And we have koi in there. And then there's this, um, old, um. Um, not canopy, but you know what I'm talking about. I forget what they call it. Um. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, so this, this old structure that now the it started to rot and rust. So what I did was I planted wisteria, which is the one that gets the big grape like, purple blooms, and it's beautiful. And, um, basically wisteria, if it's planted, like, near a house, it'll, it'll rip a porch off. That's how strong this vine has. So I'm figuring out that if I plant it, then what it will do is it will hold the structure of the gazebo. That's what it is. Perfect. Oh, so our our backyard is actually a big square. We're a third of an acre. I don't even know. Yeah, I think it's a third. So it's it's it's a big plot. Now, there were no trees in the backyard. No trees. So about five years ago went. Yeah, five years ago when my dad died. And my, my. Oh, that's all right. Yeah. So it was after a long illness, but I wanted to commemorate him. Um, and my my cousin, who I grew up with. Who? I was close, like a brother also passed away, like, within three months of each other. And I decided to plant trees on their in their behalf, in their memory. So I ordered trees because my sister in law, you know, she she's like, well, why don't you get them from the Arbor Day Society? So here I go. I signed up. They sent me six trees. I planted the six to my husband's dismay, because, like, he would travel or whatnot. And then every spring, he would go on a golfing outing or and I would like come back and I have like all these stuff that I've done outside because I want to make it like a pretty Oasis type. Right? And he's like, no, it doesn't work like this. Um, so anyway, so I planted so these six trees came, but I was having a hard time digging the hole and he wasn't home, so I had to wait for him. Fast forward. Only three trees of the six grew, and they they're. I love them, you know. And he he's like. He's like, I don't like that one tree. It's got these like, big, um, thorns. They're about this big. Oh yeah. Oh he's like. It's like a nightmare tree. And now so that the other thing too. And he's like, so last year he's like, we're going to get rid of that tree. I'm like, you can't get rid of that tree. That's the tree I planted for my dad. Are you kidding me? He's like, your dad would understand. I'm like, no, it's really symbolic of him because it's a little thorny. And, you know, my dad could get a little thorny here and there. But then in the fall, I realized that, um, a bird had committed suicide on my tree. Oh, no. Yes, it was the worst thing ever. Because I I'm walking with the dogs outside, and then all of a sudden I'm like, what is that? And I walk over and here's this bird that's been impaled. I'm like, oh my God. He's like, C cut the tree down. I'm like, no, we're not cutting the tree down. So I had to watch the bird throughout all of winter deteriorate and the nest is still there and it finally disintegrated. But I'm like, oh, this is terrible. So yeah. So it's it's, uh, I am hoping. First off, well, first off, I would say get rid of that tree because those trees are just. Seriously, I don't care for those trees. Oh, Dan's gotta love that you're saying that. Yeah, I in all seriousness, I don't care. Like, for example, um, I didn't plant a tree when my mother died. But then, of course, that was like, you know. I mean, it was when I turned 21. So that was a long time ago, right? Um, but I did plant some trees when our pets died. So we had, um, we had this bizarre cat named Grace, and she literally was just a little runt of a cat. And, you know, her and her sister kind of always had these birth defects. And, you know, they were a brother and sister made it. So needless to say, it was a lot of upkeep in order to keep these two frigging cats alive. And, um, what ended up happening was she she passed away after I think she died at ten, which was amazing that she lasted that long. Wow. So I went out and I got this tree that technically, I guess it's not supposed to grow here, but apparently, depending on the climate, it could. And it's a, um, a cedar tree. Okay. And it literally is the most bizarre looking tree. As a matter of fact, the center of the tree died. And then I noticed that I was getting ready to take it out. And then I realized, oh, wait a second, these branches are now growing straight up. And now it looks like for cedar trees. So I kept that one. And then the other thing that we planted for, um, for our dog, Shelby, when she passed away, I was devastated. Oh, um, was this, like, weeping? Um. Um, uh, evergreen. And it's gorgeous. And it's almost as tall as the house now, because that was quite a few years ago. But, um, you know, just just this big weeping tree that I just thought was beautiful. But, yeah, those spiky trees. I'm always terrified that I'm going to trip and then fall into one of the limbs and then have it through my eye. Well, it's not very big. It's, it's. And it's still and really, we only have we have um, they're like in sparse place outside of the outside. And get rid. Of. Get rid of the damn tree. Okay. All right, well, I will tell Dan you said that, and he is going to go out and shovel it out as soon as he can get to it. The other thing, the other thing that you could plant if you wanted to is and people are surprised that these winter over are banana trees every year. I mean, in Ohio, it gets it gets pretty cold, right? Every year. Um, I planted I it started off with one plant, and now I've got several of them all over the place. And it's very tropical. Feeling kind of reminds me of Miami. Okay. And then really, what you do is you just simply hack it down to the ground before the first frost, cover it with leaves, and then it'll shoot up shoots next year. Really? Now, what about bamboo? What do you think? Bamboo? Do you think bamboo will grow? Um, here's the thing about bamboo. It is very invasive if you plant them. That's what I hear. It's going to go everywhere if you plant bamboo in a container. Like I've known people that have built these very big containers, right? You know, um, there's one house, uh, on our way to church that literally they built these massive containers. And inside the containers are bamboo. And it completely shields the house from from everything. Um hmm. You know. This might be a concept I need to explore. So, because our house is in a corner, and you can, you know, it's it's very our. We have a fence for the dogs, but it's chain link. I would like a private. You know, I not that I would do it, but I'm going to say it. If I want to be out naked in my backyard, I want that kind of fence. Right. What? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. No, I get it. And as a matter of fact, Joel and I were talking about it because we're really starting to get to the point in our lives. Not that we want to go out naked, but literally, we just want to be left alone. We don't, you know? I mean. Isn't. That crazy? Neighbors are great and everything, but I like to be able to go out without having to worry about, you know, having to deal with the neighbors. So what you should get if you really and these grow so incredibly fast, okay. Are, um, burning bushes, burning bushes will shoot up and they get the most beautiful deep red foliage in the fall. Oh, I love that. Literally. And and they're very thick. I'm gonna look. Them up right now. Yeah. It's the perfect it's the perfect privacy hedge. Because when we went to because recently we went to a wedding over in Long Island at the very end of Long Island. And then we went over to the Hamptons and we noticed that with the Hamptons, they have all of these beautiful hedges that are like ten, 12ft tall, and they're edged within an inch of their life. You know, they're perfect. Oh, I know that's what I want. That's what I want. And along the side and all along the back. Yes, absolutely. So Dan Dan Dan is going to be like, oh, great. Now we have another idea because I am the idea person and he executes. So that's that's how we live our life. But it all works out. So easy there. So easy. Burning bushes. Okay. Yeah. We have one that we keep on having to hack down because it's right by the garage. And it's literally it's now up to the, um, up to the downspouts. Okay. The top part of the of the garage. I mean, it just it just it just grows fantastically. That's what we're going to do. So now I have to tell you the funniest thing. So yesterday when I got my little, uh, what did I say to. I got the the begonias. Um, my scarlet begonias. I, I was, so I got him in the little containers and I'm like, oh, I guess I have to move this to the pot. So I said, Dan, can you move these to the pot? He's like, no, you want to do it, you do it. And I'm like, oh, he does this for me every year. So I'm like trying to do it. And then like I have gloves on and I don't like dirt, let's be honest. So anyway, I'm like, am I doing this right? Like, and I'm trying to put enough dirt and he's laughing at me and I'm like, don't you know how to do this? And he's like, yeah, you forget I worked as grounds maintenance in college. I'm like, so why am I planting all this crap and you're not doing anything? What's wrong with this picture? He's like, because it amuses me more to see you do it. I'm like. Fine anyway. Anyway, but we started this conversation and I didn't introduce you properly. My goodness, I am so excited that you're here and that you agreed to be a part of the podcast. I have known you. Um, should I age or us? Should I age us decades? How about that. Decade? Oh, I love that. Oh, that's that's why you're the published author. And I'm not. Decades. We have known each other. I will admit to. That's right. We have known each other from for decades. We met in Miami and you made 10th grade French class the most enjoyable class ever. Dear God. Even though we had the. Should we. Let's be kind. He may not. He may not be alive. Let's be kind. He. Even though he was the least enjoyable teacher we could have gotten. Oh, he was an asshole. But I made. Yes, you're right. You are being kind by calling him. That. Mister. Such and such was. Mister. Such and such that that's being kind. Because he literally. He. Oh, my God. Made our life. Miserable. And and we we we were just trying to learn French. I mean, I now know how to say, uh, Canada aujourd'hui and, um. Oh, what was the thing that he's like, um, Mademoiselle, Mademoiselle Julie, I don't even know. Listen, I had learned all my friends without him. So who needs him, right? So. But we we had we had phenomenal, phenomenal times. We laughed a lot in that class. And, um, when we got in trouble, we ended up in the assistant principal's office together. But we made it work. Um, and I, I have just enjoyed watching you thrive and go after your dreams, and and certainly you're a published author. You published a wonderful book that I enjoyed, by the way. Thank you. I think that a lot of people should go out and read it, especially if you enjoy mythology. But I think the themes are very relevant to today and they're very relevant to the characters. Just transported me in, and I know that you have tons of amazing reviews and Goodreads and Amazon, but you continue to just, um, just shine your light. You are. You are. You are so incredibly generous. I mean, no, no I'm not, I see you, I see the generosity and the love that you have for the people around you. You are married. You just celebrate. How many years now since you got married? Well, okay, so we we actually hit our fifth year anniversary. Mhm. Um, so, uh, but Joel and I have been together now going on 23 years. So, you know. Cheers. Now can jokingly say they go. How long have you been married? Well, five years, but it feels like 23. It feels. Like 23. I love that. That's terrific. But, you know, you know, we just I am and I and I tell many people this, I am incredibly blessed with the life that I had. I mean, um, you know, when and, you know, when with, with us growing up together. I mean, I could have gone anyway, you know, any which way in regards to what? What I turned out to be. And, um, I just think that that I that luck was on my side in regards to me going through the trials and tribulations of coming into terms with who I was. Um, and then and then being able to go on from there to find happiness and, and then find my niche, which is obviously this kind of quirky, you know, Greek, um, gods, the Olympians, um, uh, with a very quirky twist on them. Um, you know, so I thank you so much. I mean, I, I just think that a lot of it had to do with luck and support from friends like you who just kind of egged me on and said, you know, you can do this. You know, let's let's get it done. So, well, I think that we all need people in our corner really cheering for us and being that that squad that is going to see in, uh, the one of the, one of my guests actually taught me the whole term of believing mirrors. And I believe that sometimes we don't remember or see the good and the best in us, and we need to have people do that. I know that for you, you you had challenges. I like myself, and I don't think I was to the extent that you were, but you were bullied. Is that something that you wanted a little bit of touch on and how that impacted you and created in you? Um, resiliency? Yeah. I mean, you know, starting in third grade, um, I was bullied. You know, I was called a faggot. I mean, and that was just something that just continued from third grade until 11th grade. And, um, you know, it did it did help mold the person that I am today. Right. Um, for the good. And then also, you know, for the bad, because it also created, you know, uh, you know, certain little hang ups and things like that that I've dealt with and, and gotten rid of those demons out of my life. But, um, you know. Yeah, it definitely Impacted, uh, who I was. And, um, what what was really interesting was it wasn't until 11th grade that I finally found the bravery and found my voice to be able to say, okay, this is enough. And this is this is a bit of a an incredibly wrong story. And I can't believe I'm sharing this with you, but I will. Um, so it was just a stereotypical day. I was walking up the stairs at Miami Palmetto Senior High. Go, Panthers! Go, Panthers! Uh, and, you know, I, I had, um, I had started taking ballet, uh, probably just a few years back. I had gone from that really awkward, slightly overweight teen to being, you know, fit and, and, um, and a little bit more assured of myself. Right. Um, and I was walking up the stairs and the guys, a group of guys, you know, typical jocks, right? Um, you know, all of whom I shared classes with all throughout the many years that I went to Palmetto Senior High. And for those people to interact with. Yeah. And for those people who don't know the kind of environment, just picture any of the John Hughes movies 16 Candles. That's the type of environment that our high school was. Oh, I mean, it was it was the 90210 of Miami. Oh, yeah. I mean, literally I mean, you know, I lucked out going to that school simply because we lived on the very edge and busing because there was no way we were in the income level of a lot of people that that went to that school. Um, but, you know, I finally just, I just something clicked in me and I just kind of turned and I said, you know, and I obviously I won't mention the person's name. I go, you know. Um, yeah. You're right. I, I'm gay, I like boys, sorry. I mean, there's nothing that I can do about that. But I gotta say this. Your brother and this is something that he didn't know was that I had been dating his brother. I said, really, I hope. I hope your brother and I didn't make too much noise in his bedroom when we were fooling around the other night. You see, we would have done it in the pool house, but your brother kind of felt that that was a little bit too close to your mom and dad's bedroom. So we decided that we would risk it and do it inside his bedroom. Wow. I cannot even imagine what the reaction would have been to that. Well, everything just went dead silent. And then I just turned around and continued walking up the stairs, and then proceeded to find a bathroom and then throw up because I couldn't believe I thought, I'm dead. I am so dead, you know, and and nothing happened. But after that, um, nobody called me faggot anymore because I think they were afraid that I might be dating their brother. So. Right. I think that there's something to be said for decades ago. Being able to stand up in your truth and being able to then speak to who you are and getting the courage at a young age. And I think that even now, it's something that it's heartbreaking for me, is to know that there's so many youths that and again, that don't have the courage to stand in what they believe because they are afraid of not being loved and accepted and they are just disheartened by who who they are. I just, I, you know, nothing gets me more upset when I think of of parents who turn their back away on their own children, on their own children. Right. You know, and go on. I'm sorry. No, no no, no. And but I think to your point, it is heartbreaking that families are torn apart because you know, the the and again, we can sit here and explore and speculate why parents do the things that they do. But I think that ultimately, if we are called to love and we are called to be the best version of ourselves, even if we have someone that we don't agree with, even if we have someone that we don't see eye to eye, I, I would want people to show up and think, how can I be the best version by loving this person and not rejecting them. Because I think that when we reject people, we feed into their insecurities and we feed into the pain that they may be feeling over who they're discovering or who they're who they are coming into. Yeah. I mean, you know, the, you know, and and this is something that actually I've grappled with, you know, because I do I did come from that generation where, you know, being gay was, has, was just starting to kind of be sort of maybe, you know, as long as you keep it quiet. Okay. Right. And today's generations, although even though they're still a struggle, but today's generations, um, are able to be able to come out and have and, and to a certain degree have the support. Once again, I'm not by any, you know, um, meaning of the word discounting the struggles that the gay youth of, of the world today have to go through. But it was a very different world. I mean, I came out right as the egg, uh, eggs. Um, the Aids epidemic was happening. Um, you know, and, you know, when my mother found out that I was gay, uh, it was, you know, she was horrified. And I don't know as to whether or not she was horrified because of the idea that, oh, my God, my son is gay. But I think she was terrified of the fact is, oh, my God, you're going to get sick. Yeah. You know. And I remember that vividly, how parents and I think that for the whole that generation coming to grips with your sexuality also involved your mortality. Yeah. And you especially and again, there might be some listeners that don't get what we experienced, but I remember there was an uncertainty and even a tinge of family familiar. I can't speak today. Wow, what's wrong with me? And I'm drinking water. Wow. We're going to have to get a picture with my water. It's not vodka, people, but, um, I just, you know, the the whole virus that we're encountering right now, right? There's a tinge of uncertainty, and and it has rung very, uh, familiar to me as it had like, how how do you get it? Where do you where what does this mean to you? But the epidemic was something that, um, you started to see and as as it became more mainstream and in heterosexual communities, and it started to be impacted and everyday people started to be impacted. It's sort of, um, normalized to an extent. And and it didn't, you know. Yeah, we're going down a dark hole, but yeah. No, no, no, it's you know, it, but it's you know, my attitude has always been is that's just part of life. You know, I mean, we're put on this earth to live the life that we that we end up living. And, you know, my attitude has always been do no harm to anyone, you know, and and that's always been my attitude in regards to that. Um, and, you know, at the end of the day, if, you know, at the end of my life, you know, I can't go into the next stage, you know, for me, you know, going to heaven and meeting and being reunited with my loved ones for a lot of other people. They, you know, they have different religious views in regards to that. But, you know, I can only accomplish what I can accomplish, you know, and I have to be satisfied with that. You know. I, I look at your life and I think. Yeah, it was interesting when Joel and I, um, when we had been together, um, this would have been when Joel proposed to me 18 at 18 years. He said he wanted to be sure. And I said, you know, that's why our hashtag for our wedding is hashtag about damn time. But, um, you know, I love it. He he struggled with it to a certain degree. As far as the whole marriage thing, uh, simply because he wanted to make sure that it wasn't just a meaningless ceremony, that it was that it had, that it was based in religion and that we were, you know, both worshiping, uh, at a church. At a church. You know, that we could build our spiritual journey from. Um, the other thing that he was concerned about was, uh, his parents. His father was a Lutheran minister. Although part of the ELCA, which is the more rural branch of the Lutheran Church and his mother was an organist, it doesn't get any stereotypical than that. Um, and that was his biggest concern was, you know, would his dad be willing to participate in the ceremony because that meant the world to him, that his father would would do that? And we had reached a point where, yeah, now it looked like the Supreme Court was going to make their decision and that it was going to probably go towards, you know, positive. Uh, we could actually get married at the time in Maryland for the legal stance. Right? Uh, which we did. Um, months before we went to Maryland, which is where his parents live. And they and we got married by his father. But, um, but what just amazed us was that after a year and a half of planning, our wedding landed the day after the Supreme Court decision. That was not planned. It just it just happened. It just. Happened. And I said, you know, if there's an example of God having a sense of humor and saying, you know, after all this journey. And my first thought was, damn it, we didn't need to do Marilyn did way. And then. Oh, but. But but but how could but how could you know. But it's it's interesting because I still get flare ups of dealing with, you know, if you listen in the news, there are certain politicians that are trying to find different ways in order to undo marriage equality and all that kind of stuff. It just it it. I immediately flash back to being that 16 or 17 year old with bullies, you know, basically making my life a living hell. Yeah. And I think that and I think that that's that's, um, you know, the, the whole nature of our society that we're never going to be 100% alike. And I think that that's the beauty and the richness of our world, that we all come from all these different backgrounds and have different experiences and and, and different things make us tick and laugh and love. But we we I'm hoping that through this podcast and through anything that I do honestly, is that I create an environment in which I am helping people to see different views that will help them, not necessarily listen. I'm not looking to evangelize. I'm not an evangelist, but I, I do want people to think for themselves. And I do want people to begin to to humanize the conversation, because I think that in, in, in looking at the humanity in somebody else, it can help you analyze, hey, it's not a political stance or it's not a slogan, it's it's who is this person that when I say I don't contribute to this belief, who who is hurt and whose lives are affected by that? Well and it's and it's not an agenda. There is no gay agenda. There's a human agenda is what it really amounts to. And what was interesting and this was I think this kind of sums up the, the whole, um, the whole thing in regards to what we're talking about was, um, at our wedding, uh, there was this older couple, Bev and Howard, and, uh, Howard, um, actually died about a year or so after the wedding, but I still kept I still keep in touch with Bev anyway. Bev, um, you know, pulled me over, and and the way that we met them was through our, um. Uh, Joel and I wanted to learn how to play bridge. Okay, so we went to a we went to a bridge club. How fun is that? I know, I know. Oh, my gosh. And because you know me, I'm just like, well, the other day I said to Gloria. Gloria, I don't understand why, you know, I mean. Just just. Being absolutely ridiculous. Right? I love. Bridge, so, um, so we learned how to play bridge and we met this, this older couple, and they were invited to our wedding because we invited our bridge club, um, to the wedding. And she called me over and she said, I just want to admit something to you. And I said, okay, Bev, you know, and I sat down and I was she was like, I want you to know that, um, that you changed my heart, that before I met you, I was one of those mean little old ladies that, you know, that clutched their religion to their chest and pass judgment on people like you. But because I saw what a loving person that you are, and the love that you have for everyone that you interact with, and the love and respect that you and Joel have for each other, and just the love that you had no expectations of, of receiving it back from me. But you still gave me love, you know, with our interactions with each other. And you made me laugh so much, which is, you know, typical me. Yes. Um. And she said, she goes and you, you change. You changed me so much, and I can't thank you enough. And then she's like. And I hope you don't hate me for this. And I was like, why would I hate you? I said, of course I don't hate you, Bev. Um, I go now, give me back the giveaway. I love it. I love it. You know, but I. I yeah, it's exactly what I think we need to have more of. We need to have conversations when we're coming to the table, whether it be with bridge or with volunteering and just taking the opportunity to find out what is it about this person that makes them tick. And it doesn't matter if they're different skin color or if they, you know, think the same way that you do. Just just find out how you can get to know them better for sure. Um, well, I mean, I think the word them should be banned out of, out of, out of the English language because a lot of people. A lot. Of people that. Yeah, a lot of people will say, well, that happens to them, you know, or, you know, and I think that as human beings, we have an issue with the idea that we have to be able to point to someone and say, well, I'm normal, but they're not, you know, or you know, that, you know, they're the ones that that do this or they're the ones or they're the cause or and I really think that them should be simply replaced by us. It's a matter of fear, right? It's a matter of fear. And I think that if we a people use the them because it's easier to say, this is us or me or it's happening here because then it, it, um, you know, Brené Brown talks a lot about shame. And I think that when we're point and not not to say that, you know, you know, whatever it is that you're, you're pointing at or you're, you're, you're singling out, I think that sometimes, you know, that you yourself have insecurities and inadequacies, and if you point somebody else's out, it will take the eyes of the world away from you. Right. And and I think that that's, that's one of the biggest defense mechanisms that many people. Well, that and and one of the things that I learned through therapy and yes, I did go through therapy and. I highly recommend. It for people. Yeah, not conversion therapy, but therapy in order to be able to deal with some of my frustrations, some of my, you know, my angst. Right. Um, and one of the things that that my therapist had said was that everyone needs to stop using the word should. Oh, I think it should be banned. Yes, I. Should do that. You should do this. You should do that. No, you're. It's not your responsibility to tell someone they should do anything because that's their journey. And likewise, it's your journey. It's not that you should do something. It's just that you do something, you know. And coulda woulda. Coulda shoulda woulda coulda are words that keep you living in the past. And when you focus so much on the past and what didn't happen or should have happened or could have happened, you are taking so much time away from where you are now and the things that you are able to take care of today. If you. I should have done that. Well, do it now. You're here. You're still alive. Um. And and coulda, woulda could have or may have or can have. You know. Like like. With my. Yeah. Like with my dad. You know, my dad has never accepted who I was. He just. He. It's just not in his ability. And I have had to come into terms with the idea that he will never accept me. He will never be a part of my life simply because he just can't. You know, and I'm willing to admit I'm 51 years old. And, you know, I'm not going to going to base my life on the what my father deems as being successful. I love my dad. Right? I, you know, he's my dad. But it doesn't mean necessarily that I like him. And you know it. Just at some point, you have to realize that my expectations of what I feel my dad should be like, I cannot put on him. Likewise, his expectations on what he thinks is a personal is a perfect son. He cannot put on me. Right? No one can tell you. And I think that that's where a lot of people fall and end up having issues, because we are so, um, we're working so hard to live up to other people's expectations that we we stop looking at what would make us happy and what would bring us joy, and what are the things that we want to pursue that can fill our cup. Because ultimately, guess what? Even if you if you decided to try to accommodate and live up to somebody else's expectations, you wouldn't do it. No. And for me, if you know, I know that, um, if my husband and he's a terrible example because he, he's very easygoing. But I think that there's many times even in my life that even with my dad, who I was close with. Right. Yeah. Um, there were times that I did things that he didn't agree with, he did not agree with. And and I needed to go through that and go through the motions and either stay and and again, I did things that I am glad I did, and I stand by those, and I am. And you know, there are some things that maybe. Yeah, as a parent, he tried to protect me and here I am. Right. But I think that all of us need to start concentrating more. And how can we please ourselves and be the best, best who we can be and change the things that we feel we need to change based because we don't like it. Not because somebody else, or the world or somebody else's. Standards are what we're measuring ourselves by. Well, and that's true. And, you know, and being able to take all of that noise and all of that junk or all of that baggage and just simply push it away. Yes. In order to be able to finally be to take a breath and, and realize, okay, what is it that I really want to do? Yeah. Um, you know. And. And I, you know, it just so happened that I was, I had gone from a really creative job to a not so creative job. And one of the things that my husband Joel said to me was, he goes, you really do need a creative outlet because you need to be able to express whatever it is that's that's jumping around in that mind of yours, which nobody should ever have to experience. And I and I and we laughed and I just said, well, I've always thought about writing a book. And he was like, well, then go ahead and write a book. All right. So I sat down and I started typing, and I came up with this, this story about this little girl. And she was in her bed and, um, it was lightning and thunder and and then I just stopped and I said, God, I just wrote it was a dark and stormy night. And I just finally. And I just slammed the computer down and walked away. I just said, I'm not dealing. I'm not. I can't do this. I can't do this. But you. Did. And it's just the story is phenomenal. And it's called Muse Unexpected because I don't know if we've if we've said the title, but it's called Muse Unexpected. Uh, so tell me, how did you go back to the writing once you stopped? Well, it was it was funny. Um, and then, you know, probably several months went by, you know, and I just put it out of my mind. And then I started thinking about, okay, if I were going to write something, what would it what would it be? And I said, well, you know, I know that from growing up, my father used to read and these were bedtime stories which which the Olympian tales are not bedtime stories to read to a child. And he would read me these Greek myths as like a bedtime story. Now, I will say this, that yes, it might have been a little bit over the top for me to refuse to open up my closet to get dressed simply because of Pandora's box, right? But I was really terrified of the fact of whatever it was that was going to come out of that closet. So I said, well, why not work on the Mets? Except, of course, the Greek myths. You've got Percy Jackson, you've got all these other, you know, clash of the Titans, all these other things that have come before me. How do I make it unusual? And then I thought, well, why not pick a Greek god or goddess that people just kind of go, yeah. And I thought, all right, well, the muses, the muses. You know, and the muses were known were the nine daughters of Zeus. And if anyone ever remembers the 1980 movie, which is fantastic, Xanadu. Um, of course. I love that movie with starring Olivia Newton-John. Did you see the Broadway play? Yes I did, it's hysterical. I loved it. On roller. Skates. Yes. Okay. I'm so glad we're in good company. It's why we got along. Oh my God. So I thought, okay, well, why not take the muses and and change them and don't be concerned about adding things that really weren't part of the old mythology. So what I did was I created this whole world where the muses are actually the guardians of humankind and also demigod kind, which are the half human, half gods, uh, people. And, um, and just started creating this world that had this outrageous streak throughout it where pop culture is injected, you know, and, and the these different types of gods are not what you expect them to be. Right. You know, you know, like, for example, the the, uh, Persephone and Hades, um, you know, uh, Persephone and in my world is obsessed with catalog shopping, and she likes to order from Pottery Barn and Restoration Hardware. You know, I mean, it's just outrageous. And Hades, um, who is concerned about his marriage, has a book club that he does with souls that he drags from the River Styx And you know. And he. And while the book club is happening, he starts asking for marriage advice. You know, so it's literally it's just it's it's nonsense thrown into these epic tales and then, you know, tying it all together is this story about this young girl named Sophia who finds out after her father mysteriously dies, that her mother and grandmother are Greek muses, and she's expected to take up the family. To take. Up the family. Business. So, you know, so it just was this, this outrageous tale, this epic coming of age story that, um, that for some reason, it just rang true for a lot of people. People just thought that it was funny and, you know, it kept them on the edge of their seats. And they loved the characters, you know. Um, so I'm continuing that. I'm continuing the series. I'm working on book number two. And also I've created this new, um, character named Doctor Sebastian Breckenridge. Brackenridge. Who is this? Absolutely ridiculous. Over the top. Um, uh, world renowned historian. And he basically talks about the Greek muses or the Greek gods, except it's done in such an an absolutely outrageous way. Um, he declares himself to be the gayest man in, uh, Great Britain or the United Kingdom. And I do the voices for these in this, in the podcast that I have. And, you know, he's just he's just very, you know, he he's. He's still. A fox. And you know, he's got his English accent and he's just sort of like, well hello chickens. You know, I mean it's just so absolutely obnoxious and funny. And so far, I mean, a lot of people have have cuddled up to Doctor Sebastian Breckenridge. Yes, I, I enjoyed I enjoyed a little bit of his antics this afternoon. Earlier today, um, I was sadly interrupted because I forgot I had a conference call that I had to jump into. Like this is inconvenient. I need to go back to that. And of course it didn't happen. But I love the story and I love the humanity and really the the epic, um, intertwining of the mythology within our pop culture. Because I'm a pop culture addict. The times I. Seem to enjoy. That a lot. Um, what and I, I, I, I want to touch on a couple different things, but I'm curious, who inspires you? Oh, wow. From a writing standpoint or from. Or. From a any perspective standpoint? Oh. Well, from a writing standpoint, I am incredibly inspired by Stephen King. Some of his characters. His books are just absolutely amazing. Some of the less known ones like Duma Key, which is a fantastic book if ever. You get the opportunity. I haven't. Read. That. And um, and just the characters are so rich and it I just, I just love I love a lot of his stories. Um, I'm trying to think I, you know, there was one person, God rest her soul, that inspired me greatly. And that was my Aunt Maryanne, who lived in New York City, and she passed away. Uh, in 2016. She actually attended my wedding in 2015 and stood in for my mother, who had passed away a long time before. And, um, there just was this fighting spirit that she always had, you know, and she just she had such a love for New York, uh, the state and the city. And, you know, she just was always that kind of like New York version, native New Yorker, um, Mary Tyler Moore in my eyes. And that spark inspired me greatly. I loved reading your tribute to her because I felt like you. You really. For someone like me who didn't get an opportunity to meet her. I saw that your love for her was just incredibly just pouring out in your words and your tribute to her life and and, um, but I, I can tell I felt like I knew her after I read what you wrote about her after her passing. Because I could picture this. And you were so, um, so descriptive and yet, um, artistically, um, refined with with what you said about everything and everything that you're saying now. Really, um, it's you know it. Thank you. Thank you. You know, it's interesting we had such an unusual relationship, um, in that she was more like a sister because she was only 11 years older than I was. She was a change of life, baby. Okay. But, you know, there were just these insider jokes that we would do with each other. Like, I would call her. She worked in an import export business. Um, and I would call her up and she would answer the phone. Da da da da, may I help you? And I would sit there and I would literally I would do stuff like this. I would go. Yeah, I'm calling about my mothball order. Could you please tell me if the shipment has come in? And literally it was just ridiculous. And she would just start to laugh or it would be a Q-Tip order. And she goes, I'm sorry, sir, it's it's still stuck in China. And I. Was just. Like, for the love of God, what do I have to do in order to get my Q-tips? I love we have to have relationships that we can bring the the kid in us and have joy in the conversations. And I urge anyone who has disconnected from people in their life that bring them joy to definitely go back and find that because people are in our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime, and you want to make the most of it. You want to make the most of it for sure. I mean. And and she I think what was really interesting, though, is that she saw, um, she knew that my humor was actually a defense mechanism that I had developed growing up, which was, if I can make them laugh, they won't beat me up or they won't call me faggot or or what have you. Right, right. And that later turned into, um, me helping my mother through her very long illness. She suffered from kidney disease. Um, simply because, you know, you either laugh or you cry. Right, right. And which one would you rather do? So I would always make my mother laugh constantly. Whenever things got too serious, there would be some sort of joke. And the same thing goes for Marianne, because I remember when, you know, God rest her soul. Ah, um, her mother, my nanny, my grandmother had passed away, and I was standing there at the coffin and looking down and stereotypical, oh my God, Italian wake. That just goes on forever and ever. Three showings. I mean, seriously, it's not it's not a short run Broadway play. Right, right. So there I am, looking down at my grandmother, my nanny, and Marianne comes over and she says, she goes, are you doing okay, Billy? Because that was of course, my nickname. Right? And I would say, yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm doing fine. And then I would look down and I would say, you know, they did a great job on her. You know, she looks really good. And my aunt goes, yeah, yeah you're right. Yeah. She does, she does like she, I mean she looks like she's sleeping. And she goes, yeah, yeah, yeah, they did a really good job. You know, nanny is up there in heaven looking down on us and smiling. She's very happy. And she goes, do you think so? And I'm like, yes, I do. I do think so. I said, because she's in her favourite position on her back. Nice. And my aunt went. Oh, oh God. And then she just started to shake with laughter. So she hugged me to make it look like we were both crying. Crying literally. We were crying with laughter. I mean, and that's just and that's just the way that I've always been in regards to, you know, situations like that, even in my day job, you know, working for Ernst and Young as a pursuit strategist, proposal writer, things like that. Um, I use humor a lot in order to be able to motivate people to get things done that need to get done, done, and to basically have to break those barriers that a lot of us put up, you know, when they're put into a very stressful situation of having to respond to an RFP or what have you a request for proposal II. And listen, I've been there. The request for proposal, it's one of my, um, one of my greatest things that has plagued me and haunted me. But I've really embraced it in my life. I've written many in my time, but I think that when I, I know that during some of the most I had a proposal, ones that was due, and I think it was to Arizona and we were our, our department was actually, um, super late in writing it because we had a whole bunch that were due, and it was one of those that, like sort of fell through the cracks when you had multiple. So we figured out that we could take it to the Fedex office at the airport so that it could get there on time. And and I remember just like we were making the copies because, you know, this is like, I don't know, 15 years ago, maybe more that you had to have X amount of copies. Uh, Times New Roman 12.5 and written. And it was the kind of thing where I'm like, I'm gonna die. And, and it was like all we could do was laugh and and just make jokes and, and and my staff was like, what's wrong with you? I'm like, don't worry. I mean, like, we'll get to the airport. We should go and, like, grab a drink. And without one of those hotels, it's like open 24 hours because we might as well celebrate. We might be fired tomorrow. But it was the kind of thing where, you know, you have to, like, insert a little bit of levity into the situation. Um, we haven't talked about another thing that it's one of my favorite things about you, because I am a lover of arts And, uh, you have a great love for for the arts as well. You are a dancer. Yes, yes, a very, very, very, very, very, very. Decades ago. Oh. Was a dancer always a dancer, my darling? Yeah, yeah, I, um, so I started taking ballet. This was when I was, was going to. At the time it was called payback, the Performing and Visual Arts Center, which then became the new World School of the Arts for, uh, for in Miami. Yep. And, um, so I was taking musical theater and then, um, there was a, there was an interesting, um, uh, opportunity for people to be extras with American Ballet Theater. They were restaging their Romeo and Juliet. And keep in mind, I mean, I still was I had not taken any ballet classes. I was a little bit chunky, you know, and, you know, I should not have been on the stage with these dancers, these very famous dancers. But anyway, um, so I went and you had to get measured, uh, to, for costumes and things like that. And we went to this. You were supposed to go to the studio, uh, which was the Martha, our school. Martha. Martha. Yeah, which was located in Coral Gables. And. Martha. Martha. For those who don't know, God rest her soul. She died a few years back. But, um, she was like the epitome of of of of the stereotypical ballet, ballet. Dancer, dance. Stick. She was very stern and, um, and she was also like one of the main people that started the, the dance community. She was I mean, she was definitely one of the, one of the leaders within the community for, for decades on end. And she was considered to be one of the top ten in the country. Yeah, so it wasn't me. Walking in and seeing the dancers take classes. Um, but when we went to the theater and we had our first rehearsal with the actual dancers, I fell in love with it. Mhm. You know, I mean, it. I mean, it was beautiful. It just was the most beautiful thing that I have ever seen. And I decided then and there that, yes, I do want to become a dancer. So I went back to Martha Ma. And apparently boys are a commodity for just about any, you know, studio. And she gave me a full scholarship if I would start taking classes there. And within the first three months, I dropped £30. Wow. Now, that was taking a lot of classes, but, I mean, and and trust me, it was awful. I mean, I was awful, but I learned it quickly and once again the pound just melted away. So much so that she went to my mother and she goes, is he eating? She goes, I can't get him to stop eating, you know? But it was just that constant exercise. Um, then I ended up, um, you know, I, I performed with the Miami Ballet, got a full scholarship for the School of American Ballet Theatre. Um, was there for about a summer and then decided, I'm not sure if this is what I want. Right. And, you know, I gave it up and decided to go to school instead and went to college and majored first in microcomputer communications, and then went on to to um major in marketing. Um, do I regret it? Yes, I do, there's just I mean, it's still to this day, I mean, I love the ballet. I love to go see the ballet. Me too. I mean, it just. It just moves me so much. Yes. I think that there's something to be said about watching a ballet. That. Um, I was in Houston, and, um, I happened to be stuck there for business, and I happened to realize I forgot what they were playing. Oh, it was Romeo and Juliet, and I'm like, I have to go. And I cried. I sobbed because I had not been to the ballet since moving out of New York City. And there's something about it, but. I. It's, I mean, and Romeo and Juliet, this, you know, I'm a big fan of the story ballets, I mean, big fan of the story. And Romeo and Juliet is one of my favorite Romeo and Juliet. Classified. Uh, Giselle. Giselle is. Beautiful. Giselle is absolutely gorgeous. Lots of feet. Is kind of like a Giselle, except it's based in the Scottish, um, in the Scottish Highlands. And it's it's amazing. I haven't seen that. So I'm going to have to put it on my list. Yeah. La Sophie not la. Because Ellie is is a very stereotypical romantic ballet that has no story and I can't stand it. But La Sophie is the one where all the guys wear the kilts and it's just amazing. I love who I'm in. Guys and kilts. I know I love it, but but I love it. It it it helped. You know, the one thing that I can say about ballet and I recommend any parent you know to definitely send their kids to dance class, is that it taught a lot of discipline. Discipline? Oh for sure. I think that the discipline for myself and I mean, and I, I went to Martha mar, but my mom had three daughters. She could only afford two of them taking classes, and it was not. I didn't realize you went to Martha, ma. I did, we lived, um, we lived before we moved closer to, um, to Palmetto or to that area. Um, we lived near the Miami Opera. My mom used to work for the Miami Opera. Oh, wow. We lived in that not. It's the roads near Vizcaya, right? Yeah, yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. So. Which I love this guy. I love this guy. So we we were able to go for a summer, but between, you know, the my mom really was a single mom. She couldn't really afford it. And and then for the summer, she sent us after that the that first summer, I was supposed to go back in the fall and, you know, didn't happen, but I, I that's why I got a job. I started my first job, believe it or not, was I used to come off the bus and I used to take the public bus, not the school bus, because in that area they didn't have public buses, whatever the story was. And I would get off the bus right in front of my mom's office, and I would go to the office and I would go to each person. This is what, you know, the 80s. Again, people would smoke in their offices. They didn't go outside and do that. And I would go in and I would run all their errands. Right. And I would like, okay, what can I do for you can. And I would pick up their dry cleaners, go out and get cafécon leche for some people at the coffee shop across the way. I would go get maybe their cigarettes. Some ladies would have me pick up their, um, their birth control pills. And the deal was if if it was $1.50, they would pay me whatever change and I would keep whatever change. So if I and I would calculate in my head like, oh, there's only $0.10 left of that. So then I'm like, don't you need something else? And I would upsell them to try to get something else right. So, so I would save money and I still like I was not making enough money to be able to afford the stupid dance lessons. So. And then my mom signed us up for after school, and they did it after school. But it was certainly not Martha ma. Now, my my sisters did go for for a period of time. Um, which. So you must remember Manon, the the receptionist. Oh, my God, you are so sweet. I loved. Her, and it was the. Kind of place where again, I remember you. It was just. You just felt so, um. You like it's your stereotype if you're into ballet. Because, really, my little sister was not into ballet. So to her was a pain in the ass. But I loved just wearing the uniform and putting my hair up and. Walking. In. And it was a stereotypical Martha. Ma believed in teaching. It was Russian technique combined with, um, with, um, uh, Alicia Alonso's Ballet de Cuba technique, and then also the English technique, because every summer Georgiana Parkinson from um American Ballet Theatre would come and teach a summer intensive to which she would never acknowledge the boys that bit. She would sit there and she'd go, all right. Second group of girls. And and literally would not acknowledge that there were boys in the class. In the class. Oh, God. She was off. And her and her shitzu dog that was like, flee that. Briefly into. The studio. But, I mean, it was so stereotypical. We would promenade in every class, you know, boys were expected to wear black. Tie, black tights, white shirts, white socks. White shoes. There was no deviation from that. I am I. I it's funny because I, my sister lives in Miami and um I, I said, um, you should sign my niece for ballet. She's like, oh, you gotta be kidding me. And then my niece like, yes, I want ballet. So my sister's like, right? So now here's my sister, the tomboy, having to create the perfect Abdu for my niece. It's adorable. Oh, for the bun. For the. Bun. It's. It's so. And she has mastered the technique so perfectly that I think. Oh, wow. How did this happen? Uh, but we could talk all day. We could talk all day for hours. And. And I want to be sensitive to your time because you've graciously agreed to be on here. But I need to have you back so you can school me on plants, and I can create my English garden. We can talk more a little bit about our favorite, favorite pastimes, which as we grow older and better, we have, uh, some amazing goals and things that we do. And we're you're very active in the community and you're an activist, and I love that about you. And we need to talk a little bit more about that. But I am just thrilled that, you know, we've connected through the years and then miss my, my godson from and that's terrible. French for the love of God. That's why I don't speak it very often. But Monsieur um is. No, that's sister, isn't it? See? Someone teach me French. What is. Mona? Me. Oh. Mona. Me. That's right. Mona. Me. My love, my love. Oh, see? There you go. That's how we used to greet our ourselves in the. In the hall. And then that would be the extent. And then. We go. Ah. Ooh la. La. Oh. Trabajan. Mona me. Oh, listen, I was able to get myself around in Paris with my broken French, which I was very proud of, for sure. Yeah. No, no, you know, I don't think language is is something that I just, you know, I can do accents, but not, you know, how is it that you say the how does the American do? You say you can do. Accents much better than I can do much more of any of that? Um, so let's, uh, let's keep connecting. Let's keep shining. Keep doing what you do to support people around you and shining your light and being the believing mirror of the people around you. Absolutely. And if there's anything that I can do to help support you or to help support some of your listeners, I'm. I'm always available. How can people reach out to you if they want to connect with you? Um, well, I'm obviously on Facebook and, and, um, and on all the different on Twitter. Um, but, um, the best way is, you know, just simply contact my email address, which is, uh, via Invicta B as and boy, I r l I'd is and dog is and sam at at CNet and like I said I'm more than happy to you know to talk about writing to talk about life in general. You know, I mean, what you know, I'm always open for a great conversation and making new friends. And you are a great conversationalist. And again, I urge you to follow him on the socials. I'm going to put his information on the show notes so that people are able to connect with you and and take advantage of having a grand friend like you. So listen. I'm going to send you pictures of my pitiful garden, and Dan is going to be thrilled. I may have to ship you. I'll ship you a copy. Uh, one of the books that I have that I've actually used as my first cottage gardening book, and I'll send it to you so that you can use it just so you can get ideas. How about that? Okay. Perfect. Okay. To talk to. Me. Goodbye. Mona. Goodbye. Bye. Go confidently in anything that you do. My dear. You too. Mr. Bill Burr. Ladies, everybody. Baa baa baa. Baa baa baa baa. Anyway, did you like the interview? It was good. It was all over the place. Was it? So here's my takeaways. Over the hill and through the woods. To grandmother's house we go. Pop pop pop pop pop. Pop. Pop pop. Pop pop pop pop. I think. We need to be aware. Of the. English garden in our yard. All right. Tell you what. We'll do an English garden as long as you can figure out which way is up when you plant everything. You're an ass. Anyway, it's been a little bit since we recorded this, and Julie was gone for, like, 14 days. And I'm proud of myself every day. I watered Julie's plants. With the help of Mother Nature. It was like four days where it poured in Mother Nature. But one plant was victimized because it fell off the thing and it rolled under like the grill cover and the basil plant. Well, I guess I won't be. Making. Any tomatoes and basil with, you know. Thing. So I told Julie, oh my gosh, this one plant is so nice. It loves the heat. It's it's it's it's blossoming and it's going nuts. It looks beautiful. You saw it when you got home, right? She goes yeah. It's a tropical plants. Really good in the heat. We should plant it outside. Because I saw one of those in Miami. And then it dawned on me then. Well, it lives in Miami, and it's just meant to be a plant here. I don't even know what it is, but it was on discount at Home Depot. For those that don't know, we do live in Connecticut now. You know, I do buy my plants at Home Depot. Do you know why? Because they got a one year warranty. Yeah, they got a money back guarantee. And the way I go, I take advantage. Not that I've ever taken a plant back, but, you know, it's nice to know that I can bring a dead piece of something to them. And maybe they'll consider giving me my money back. Uh, which, by the way, I have something to break to you that you may not be happy with because, you know, you had sad news for me about my Yankee glass. And I need to tell you that last week, Amelia and I watched Eurovision. You did? Yeah. Without me? Without you? Well, good, because I watched it without you. I was pleasantly surprised at how funny it was. It was a great movie. It was fantastic. Oh, Daniel. Cheers to you, my love. Cheers to you. Do you have a glass? Oh, wait a minute. Ready? Cheers. Clink, clink. Blankies. Yay! Anyhow, I really enjoyed it. And this wine's good. I know you said it was cheap wine. It is cheap wine. Cheap wine's always sweeter. Literally. Oh, I didn't have any wine in Florida because the Paynes don't drink wine. Do you have any whiskey? No. Tom had some beer, but I didn't want to really have beer. Did he have his own? No. He hasn't been brewing. My brother in law has not been brewing any beer. My sister only likes Baileys. And he gets, uh, sick with vodka. Who gets sick with vodka, Tom. He. It makes him loopy and get happy too quickly. Kind of like what rum does to me. Like it's like the same alcohol content. I don't know, but first of all, rum is a little sweeter. Not. I mean, if I am on a beach somewhere and I'm gonna sit and have a pina colada. I like pina colada. I like walks in the rain. I don't know that that's how that song goes. Anyway, I sang that too. I got my own words. She didn't appreciate the pina colada. I think I'm such a pain. Speaking of pain, Amelia, pain really seemed to enjoy the song. Margaritaville. You're welcome. Wow. She's been thoroughly indoctrinated. In two weeks. Really? Yeah. I took a paddle boarding. That was very fun. We had a good time. Well, I didn't take her. We went with her dad, and we made our. My sister also go. She seemed to, you know, not as be as keen on it as. But, you know, it's hard the first time you go, uh, kind of like the first time you went paddleboarding. Do you remember that? I've never been paddleboarding. Yeah. You have. Lake winsome. Never did. It. Yeah. You did. You were standing on the paddleboard. I have pictures. Nope. Yep. I'm denying it. Ah ha. Mhm. Oh, yeah. It was the same day I did the zip line. You never done a zip line? Yeah, I did it today I paddleboarding. Oh my goodness Daniel come on. That's the most ridiculous thing. So I never said blind. You never said blind. I did paddle board. You did paddle board. Yeah. Can I get a paddle board? I really like paddle boarding. Paddle board. You. Wow. Sincerely, Dan. I'm sorry people. Okay, so I'd like to talk about something else that's on TV or on your streaming service. Boys and. Girls. Is it the movie we just watched? Yes. Now, I would like to clarify that, you know, we are not the kind of household where we're watching TV all day. That's not who we are. At least not me. Dan. Hey, here's a bus. Let me push you under it. I didn't push you under it. I just said I don't watch TV all day. I have made an incredible change to my habits over the last six months. Yes. You have. And I'm. Very. Proud. It's funny. After I was out of work, I actually started watching a lot less TV. Now, last two weeks, I was enjoying myself while Julie was away. Well, it's not like I prohibited you from watching television. I didn't say you did. You can watch television as much as you want. I mean, I have more important things to do than I like to. Yeah, I'd like to curate what I watch. And I think that, you know, I like to enrich myself. Now, if you'd like to watch television, go for it. So the movie we just got done watching. Oh, was so good. It was good. It was on Hulu. Now spoiler free. Julie. Spoiler. Don't get carried away. I'm not gonna get carried away. So it's a, um, movie called Palm Springs. It's got Andy Samberg in. It, Andy Samberg. And it was funny. It was about a wedding. It was in the desert. And. Had drinking. So just cute. Very, very well done. You know, I, I like the premise. I never saw the premise coming. And it was just no, I didn't. And, you know, listen, you looked it up. You cheated. No, I didn't look it up. You did. I listened to a podcast that spoke about it. I heard about. That. Yeah. Anyway, right now, Palm Springs on Rotten Tomatoes has a critic score of 94%. Whoa! Audience score of 90%. Well, it was very good. It was cute. Amazing. Funny. I liked it, I laughed. When carefree. Nyles Adam Samberg and reluctant maid of honour Sarah Cristin Milioti have a chance encounter at a Palm Springs wedding. Things get complicated when they find themselves unable to escape the venue themselves or each other. Huh. So this movie is kind. Of. A good way of describing that movie. This is, um. Yeah, I read it off of Rotten Tomatoes. That's nice. So this is kind of a another take. There's been a couple versions of time loop movies. One was. Now you're giving it away. It's the first two minutes of the movie. That's part of the thing. Another. So anyway, Groundhog Day is one of them, right? Sure. Another one that's really good enough. But it's a little while. It's called happy death Day. Okay, well, first of all, if you if I would have heard this movie was like Groundhog Day, I would not have given it a chance. And that's saying a lot because you ended up loving it. You know, it tells a lot of good stories about. And these guys, it seems like they probably do this time loop many, many more times than, than in Groundhog Day. So, so, you know, just learning lessons over and over again. You know, it talks about life and and whether it's all worth it. So what's. The lesson for. You. Learned over and over and over again? Uh, make Julie happy. That's a great lesson. Uh. We are hitting a milestone. We are, of course, our milestone. We've been podcasting since April. So what's the milestone? Four months. It's a quarter anniversary for the podcast. Five days. Mhm. Right. Yeah. How many months? Four. So you're going to be 50 years and four months old. You're four and a quarter. I mean five. Oh my gosh. Okay. Who said I could do math. I was teaching Amelia math. That's good. Well, I think we've kept everybody captive in our house long enough. What do you think? What are we, kidnappers? Come on. They can go. They're kind of kidnapping, and they're waiting for us to say something witty. And I am gonna say something of importance. All right. Do it. Do it. So, um, many people have been participating in a little experiment that I started personally for myself. And I decided that I am going to expand the little experiment, I have been leading a group of women through meditation practice, through a mindful meditation

every morning at 6: 1:31:50

15 a.m., and I am looking to expand that and make it available to the listeners. So stay tuned for more details in August and how mindfulness with Julie is going to evolve. That's awesome. Thank you. So. Well, thank you guys for joining us yet again at Casa de confidence. And go confidently in the direction of your dreams. We live one life. People live it well. Thanks for joining us this week on the Casa de confidence podcast with Julie DeLuca. Collins. Remember to check her out on Instagram and Facebook and always click subscribe to catch every new episode. Remember, leave a review so. We can continue to bring you fresh content and as always, go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Hi everybody! I know that sometimes we get very lonely in this entrepreneurial journey, and I want to invite you to join us into our limited time only purposeful you mastermind. For many of us entrepreneurs, we believe that we can do it all. But the reality is that doing it alone only creates a lot of overwhelm. So join us at the Purposeful You Mastermind. You can find out more information by going to Bitly. Forward slash. Julie's mastermind. This is going to be the place where you are able to then unlock your full potential and achieve long term, long term success for your business. Push you behind your current limits. Expand your connections. Discover new ideas and implement them with confidence. You're going to get the support in all aspects and transforming you to the six figure business you've been looking for. Pause and get off the hamster wheel if you've been spinning around. This is a time where you can get that support from like minded entrepreneurs that are here to join you in your journey. Together, we can challenge the assumptions and land the speaking engagements and opportunities. We want to grow our business and make an impact in the lives of people. See you then. Remember, you can find the mastermind at Bitly, Julie's mastermind.